The Parrot Feb 2011

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The Gulf Coast’s Favorite Source For Entertainment February 2011

Inside: Local Guides • Lots of Great Jokes • Live Music • Events


“When ROCK Was King”! Featuring Jimi

Jamison

Former lead singer of

SURVIVOR!

A Production of Gray Matter Enterprises Sponsored By:

March 5, 2011

at To MOTOWN” Plus, “A Tribute

with The Crashers & Special Guest Glenn Leonard formerly of THE TEMPTATIONS!

Paul Morris Park

Former Survivor lead singer Jimi Jamison — cited by DJ legend Casey Kasem as one of the Top 10 Male Vocalists in the World — will headline the 2nd Annual PODS Engle­ wood Music Festival on March 5th on S. River Rd. in Englewood, Florida!

1301 South River Road I-75 Exit 191 Englewood. Gray Matter Enterprises Jack Mosley, Trio de’ Janeiro, Trop Rock Lemon Bay Sunrise, & Englewood, FL 34223 Junkies, Terry Hogan, all kicking off Sponsored By: Placida Rotary Clubs at with Beans & Seeds at 10AM!

March 5, 2011 TROP-ROCK Tribute! Join Saint Tone & Friends... ExperiencePaul Morris Park

Be sure to see our “TROP-Rock Tribute” In conjunction with: A Production of including music from the Award Winning

uous n l Day1301 i l the power of PositiveA Music! t ! South River Road n THE o c i & L s C i vMcCann TEMPTATIONS e M&uThe Displacements,I-75 Exit 191 Max Glenn Leonard Formerly of

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In conjunction with:

Englewood.

Bay Sunrise, & Starts 10AM... Englewood, FL 34223 Francesco MaceriLemon & Friends , and, Placida Rotary Clubs

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much, much, more!!!

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BBQ Cook-Off Noon to 4 p.m.

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Gates Open & Music at 10am until Gates Open at 10Starts a.m. with music up8pm! to 8 p.m. Englewood BBQ Cook-OFF from Noon tillto4pm! BBQ Cook-Off Noon 4 p.m.

Helping Hands

Get advance tickets online $12 or $15 day of show. Students half price with ID, Children 12 & under FREE! Parking for unwrapped toy for Toys For Tots, or a donation to the Englewood Youth Foundation. $12 ~ Parking for an ToyHelping or Monatary Bring a non-perishable foodunwrapped item for Englewood Hands FoodDonation Bank for a Door Prize Entry!

Proceeds Benefit

Tickets just Bring a non-parishable food item for a chance to enter ourEnglewood gift certificate raffle! See the entertainment line up & purchase tickets online at www.EnglewoodMusicFestival.com

For Information Call: 941-473-0231

Helping Hands Vendors Call: 941-830-0838

www.EnglewoodMusicFestival.com

Tickets just $12 ~ Parking for an unwrapped Toy or Monatary Donation

Limited PODS Storage Containers Available to Rent Bring a non-parishable food item for a chance to enter our gift certificate raffle! Vendors Easy Set-Up or Have a Party in a POD! See the entertainment line up & purchase tickets online at www.EnglewoodMusicFestival.com

For Information Call: 941-473-0231

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Vendors Call: 941-830-0838

Limited PODS Storage Containers Available to Rent Vendors Easy Set-Up February 2011 or Have a Party in a POD!

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6 th ANNUAL AWARD WINNING

Punta Gorda Wine & Jazz Festival Saturday, February 19th 2011 1:00 - 6:00 p.m. Park opens at 12:30 p.m.

Laishley Park, Punta Gorda

Starring

dAvid benoiT

And

Mindi AbAiR

Supported By: The Acorn Ranch

All-Stars 2011 (sponsored by Presley Advisory)

TickeTs: $80.00 (+ tax). Includes food, wine ($70.00 + tax if purchased before 1/31/11).

VIP SPONSORS hotel SponSor:

event SponSorS Florada interiorscape & Design Suncoast one title Community Self Storage michael Saunders & Company

Fourpoints by Sheraton Call 941 637 6770 www.fourpointspuntagorda.com

For Further inFormation

please contact the Punta Gorda Chamber of Commerce at 941-639-3720 or www.puntagordachamber.com The Parrot

February 2011

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Send Your Comments To Incoming@swflparrot.com

Parrot Incoming Hello! I was just reading about the Wine and Jazz festival in the Parrot, I had learned about the festival in your publication last year and attended. My husband and I vowed that this event is one we will make sure we attend every year! Honestly, I can not believe it has been a year already. I hope to see you all there, including your mascot! Cheers!! Rachel T. Venice Dear Parrot, I am new to the area from MI, and I would like to take a moment to thank you for helping us adjust to the new area. When we closed on the house, we didn’t know anyone or where to get anything. I found your publication at the Applebee’s by our house and I just have to say I feel like a local.

We stopped into Danny’s Pub, Key West Casino, and Nav-a-gator Grille, everywhere we went we met so many nice people! I love Florida and I love The Parrot!! We are looking forward to discovering other establishments! Thank you! Ashley K. Deep Creek Hi All, I am looking over a copy of your publication, and it looks like you all have the best job around! Barhopping, going to all the events around town, and most of all getting to interview bartenders ( I am sure you get to taste the featured drink each month (WINK) I just have to know one thing!!! Are you hiring? LOL Keep up the great work! Looking forward to catching up with all of you sometime! Dave M. Punta Gorda

A New Holiday Family Classic Order your signed, first edition copy before they’re gone!

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February 2011

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Message Board Greetings Parrot Peeps, Each year The Parrot takes this time to wish all of you love-birds out there a very Happy Valentine’s Day... Well this year we want to include all you free-birds too... Valentines Day can be a day for lovers... Oh yeah... But it can also be a time to show your love for someone special in your life, a good friend, children, parents, or even someone you just met. There’s never enough love to go around. So this year, spread some love wherever you go. You just might find it comes back ten fold!

inside 4 8 12

With Love, The Parrot Staff

13 14 17 20 22 25 26 31 32 34 36 38

Beat The FRIZZ with our

Freelance Submissions: We welcome freelance writers, illustrators and cartoonists to submit material, but please include sufficient return postage if you want your material returned to you. Distribution: Business owners who would like to be added to our distribution list may call (941)323-4110. Our distribution continues to expand in the Port Charlotte area and Southwest Florida. We replenish supplies several times throughout each month for total market saturation. Advertising: Classified ads must be mailed to us at the address shown below or dropped by our office by appointment. A form is located in the Classified section of this issue. Additional forms are available at our office. For a complete display advertising Media Kit, please call our office or write to us at the address below. Subscriptions: Although The SWFL Parrot is a free publication, many visitors and displaced Floridians want to keep abreast of current happenings in the area. To get each copy mailed to you, the cost is a mere $45 per year for 12 issues. Mail the above form along with your payment to The SWFL Parrot, 1001 Corporate Ave. Suite 111A North Port, Fl 34289. 'Copyright 2008 by The SWFL Parrot. All rights reserved. Reprint rights must be granted by the publisher. Write us or request reprint permission by email. The Parrot is published monthly and distributed free to our many thousands of loyal DEADLINE: 15th - 5:00PM DISPLAY ADVERTISING Publisher@SWFLparrot.com EDITORIAL: 941.323.4110 Robert@SWFLparrot.com

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and proudly present Giving Hunger

The Blues

Sunday March 27th, 2011 12:00PM- 8:00PM 1930 Hillview St Sarasota, FL 34239

ADULTS $5 children 12 and under get in free. proceeds benefit The All Faiths Food Bank givinghungertheblues.org 941-366-5555

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February 2011

Larry R. was correct! Beaker, our mascot was in the Rotonda Christmas Parade! Congrats Larry!

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Twisted Humor Valentine’s Day Jokes What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card? A card that says, “I love you drool-ly!” What did the painter say to her boyfriend? “I love you with all my art!” What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day? Ughs and kisses! What did the boy bat say to the girl bat on Valentine’s Day? You’re fun to hang around with! What does a man who loves his car do on February 14? He gives it a valenshine! “Do you love me more than you love sleep?” “I can’t answer now. It’s time for my nap!”

My One And Only - Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweler’s shop in Hatton Garden, London. The jeweler inquired, ‘Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’ Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, ‘No, instead engrave “To my one and only love”.’ The jeweler smiled and said, ‘Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.’ Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, ‘Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.’

An elderly couple are attending church services…About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, “I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?”He scribbles back, “Put a new battery in your hearing aid.”

The wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote What did the man with the and was switching back and forth broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve between a fishing channel and the got a crutch on you!” porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: “For Did you hear about the romance God’s sake! Leave it on the porn in the tropical fish tank? It was a channel! You already know how to case of guppy love. fish!” What do you call two birds in love? Tweethearts! What do you call a very small valentine cocktail? A valentini!

Drive By Shooting

Why do valentines have hearts on them? Because spleens would look pretty gross! What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-menuts. What did the valentine card say to the stamp? Stick with me and we’ll go places! What is a ram’s favorite song on February 14th? I only have eyes for ewe, dear

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Mayor Gonzo Mays The time is now. The epic begins on Nest Key, an uninhabited mangrove island off the Straits of Florida, where a fantastical band of renegades, who call themselves the Pirates of the Florida Keys, are in the throes of a party of mythical proportions. Unlike other modern day pirates, this society of unabashed brigands dons dazzling head dresses and snazzy grass skirts and flock by the hundreds to the exotic ceremony. In a staggering spectacle of debauchery they consume mass quantities of Pirate’s Choice Rhum from its legendary bottomless bottle, and in a collective trance fueled by Gulf and West Indies music, they dance in a heated frenzy until exhausted. Little do they realize that on this day, their gluttonous behavior would come back to bite them on the booty; for the Pirates of the Florida Keys are unaware of the far-fetched odyssey that awaits them. The story you are about to read is one of fiction; any similarities to persons or places is purely on purpose coincidental. It is the dog days of summer and in the heat of the day, the weather has taken an ominous turn. The groovy blue sky has suddenly disappeared behind a tremulous blanket of black. Two waterspouts duel for hydro as they make a run for the tiny atoll. The birds have all long since flown and, to save their vessels from grounding, so must the Pirates of the Florida Keys. The Captain quickly delegates a cleanup crew to remove all evidence of their presence. They must leave the island

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Pirate Odyssey Fantastic A Short Epic Adventure

By Key West Honorary a bit better than they had found it, for it is an eons-old agreement between the Pirates of the Florida Keys and the Party Gods. However, on this fateful day, in their haste, an empty bottle has been overlooked, and it is this lone abandoned bottle that angers the Gods. Once looked upon with favor, and in a simple twist of fate, the Gods have become disenchanted with the Pirates of the Florida Keys and before they are to be allowed back into the graces of the party deities, they would be ordered to make amends by running the dangerous gauntlet of the bars – all while on a noble quest to save the Wild Bird Sanctuary. The Pirates’ journey home would be a long treacherous one fraught with peril, uncertainties, and hangovers. From the blackened sky, the seething squall drove the Pirates of the Florida Keys to seek shelter in the shallow bay behind the Caribbean Club. Pointing their bows into the stinging head wind, the flotilla anchored down, and in a race against the encroaching storm – while dodging deadly coconut missiles – they make their way ashore. Once inside the sweltering cavernous bar, flickering candlelight brought to focus a strange brew of badass bikers, beer-bellied boozers, busty babes, Bogart’s ghost and a sniveling midget from the third world Isle of Nowhere.

With their backs against the wall, and fortifying themselves with rhum, the Pirates of the Florida Keys had just settled in for the duration of the storm when an unexpected thunderclap lights up the night, and commands their attention! There, out of a scene from Frankenstein, framed in the doorway, stood a terrifying figure dripping wet and smelling of rotting vegetation at low tide. “It’s Aga-Ou!” the midget from Nowhere screamed. “The angry voodoo Spirit of the Sea!” Oh but it was far worse than Aga-Ou. Straight from the insane asylum with a hideous Jagermeister grin plastered to its face was none other than the notorious bogyman Cujo! And he was armed with a roll of raffle tickets, selling chances to benefit his favorite charity, the Cujo Gone Wild Fund. It was a profound moment when the Pirates of the Florida Keys realized their trial at hand was to survive the dark stormy night, and the con of Cujo. “One dollar a ticket, six tickets for five, or an arm’s length for ten!” with stealth precision, Cujo worked the Carib like a carnie working a carnival thoroughfare. Oddly enough not one single pirate questioned his validity or even asked what the raffle was for. Was Cujo crazy or genius? As pirates buy and quickly back away from

February 2011

the cracked curmudgeon, it seems Cujo’s foul breath and bad hygiene was merely a tactic to sell his bogus tickets. His purple Crown Royal drawstring pouch bulged with ill-gotten gains. Eager to count his earnings Cujo slithered off to the head, but the Pirates’ reprieve from his funkiness would be short lived. From the bowels of the darken bar came the sound of a commode flushing, then the whooshing choking sound of a second flush – and with a prodigious pea green aura surrounding him. The bar held its breath as Cujo hastily exited the latrine, accompanied by a nuclear stench that could have backed a buzzard off a gut wagon. Choosing the lesser of the two evils and figuring their chances of survival better out than in, the Pirates of the Florida Keys were flushed from the den of darkness into yet another tribulation. Fortunately, or unfortunately, the wind and the water had grown eerily calm. The squall moved out over the open Gulf and in its place rolled in a dangerous blinding fog. But there was something enticing about this mysterious haze. Curious of the riches that they had convinced themselves were on the other side, perhaps even enough to save the Wild Bird Sanctuary, with their ship bells ringing and their fog horns blasting, boat by boat, the fearless denizens of the sea disappeared into the murk. Pirate Odyssey: Part 2 to be continued in March issue of Parrot Entertainment Magazine

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Twisted Humor Senior Texting Code (STC)

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The Ventriloquist A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in Port Charlotte. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor! The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, “You stay out of this mister! I’m talking to that little shit on your knee.”

A.A.A.D.D.

Mon-Fri 9-4 Weekend and evening appointments available. Page 10

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS! Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder. Age Activated Attention Deficit

February 2011

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Twisted Humor One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late..“Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?” asked John..“Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,” said Tommy. The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. “Son,” said John, “this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.” “We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.” said Tommy. “What did you watch?” asked Marsha.“The Ten Commandments.” answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, “I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.” “I am ashamed of you son,” said

John.. “When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, “Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can’t be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!” The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” Author Unknown

Every Saturday to The #1 Farmers Market inDowntownPuntaGorda VOTED #1 Small Market in Florida • and #15 in the USA.

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Food, Music, Balloon Man, Flowers, Pottery, Plants, Art and Jewelry Don't be left out. Produce Stand Now Accepting EBT Cards

phone: 941.391. 4856

Everything you need to put breakfast, lunch or dinner on the table.

Be My Valentine It was Valentine’s day and Jim and Danielle’s first date. They sat in the darkened cinema waiting for the film to start. The screen finally lit up with a flashy advertisement for the cinema’s concession stand. Jim and Danielle realized that there was no sound. The film began but the silence continued. Suddenly, out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd loudly shouted’, Okay, who’s got the remote control?’

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Romantic French Sayings... Je ne peux pas vivre sans toi. Pronounced: zhuhn puh pah veevr sahn twah. Translated: I can’t live without you. Tu es la femme de mes rêves! Pronounced: too ay lah femm duh may rhev Translated: You are the woman of my dreams. (Note: substitute l’homme for la femme if you’re speaking to a man.) Use this for when you’re sure you’ve found that special someone!

Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose

up, great job folks!! Let’s keep it going in 2011.

Hey Charlotte Harbor Parrotheads, what tiiiiiime is it? Its time to recap 2010 and pat ourselves on the back. For the second half of the year we donated money to the Paradise Charitable Foundation (through PHiP), donated $5,000 to Peace Rive Wildlife Center, $1,800 to the Florida Sheriffs Youth Ranches, $827 to the Salvation Army, $1,705 to Toys for Tots along with over 200 toys, had 1275 volunteer hours, 425 pounds of food/items, 350 pounds of

Tu me rends fou. Pronounced: too muh rhon foo Translated: You drive me crazy! (In a GOOD way!)

Je vis d’amour et d’eau douce Pronounced: zhuh vee dah moor ay doh doos Translated: I live on love and fresh water. Although it doesn’t translate well in English, it’s a very common romantic French phrase.

Drive By Shooting

aluminum cans, 213 pounds of pop-tops (wow, we drink a lot), and I’m not sure these numbers include all we donated. I know there were also 50/50 raffles at the meetings where the proceeds went to the charity of the month/quarter, tons of donations each month for same, plus all those pill bottles to help out the animal shelter. We also ended the year with 477 members. However you add it

Part of the donations referenced above came out of the Holiday Party on December 19th at Visani’s. We had a great time with a full house dancing to the tunes of Jimmy Parrish and the Ocean Waves Band. They did a fine job as usual and yours truly hopes they’re back next year. The food was wonderful again this year and the service was excellent. Great job Willis and helpers! At our meeting on 1-11-11, the Big 1, we had Kelly McGuire and his “all-star band” comprised of the adorable John Patti, our own Member-At-Large Dave McBride and his lovely wife Carolyn. They put on a heck of a show for us. I’m not sure what you call that thing Carolyn was playing, but I’m glad to see she has rhythm. One lady down in KW was attempting to play said instrument and failed miserably. It was actually painful to watch. In addition to some fine music little Miss Brenda Warfield won the early raffle prize and Steve Hann won $230 in the 50/50, which he promptly donated back to the charity. Very nice, Steve! Willis put on a contest for the Big 1, and Candie Huetteman and Pat Doyle won. We also had 13 new members in attendance. As you may have read in the e-mails, Buffett is coming to Tampa on April 16th. Kind of an

appropriate date as you’ll need your tax return to afford the tickets! Yours truly went to the concert last year only because we got club tickets at $36 or something reasonable. This year they are $136…a big difference if you ask me. I hope everyone who goes has a great time. No outings to tell you about in the near future but be sure to check the weekly e-mails for a happy hour somewhere down the road.

And I do believe they are reviving the Sunday afternoon sunset get-togethers on Englewood beach. Folks get there about an hour before sunset…it is BYOE (I’m sure someone probably brings some tunes), and you apparently can have alcohol, just no glass. I know there are grills if you want to bring some charcoal and dinner to cook. That’s it for now. Our website is www.chphc.com. If you want to join this crazy club you can print out an app and mail it or join us at the next meeting, the second Tuesday of the month at the Coral Rock Tiki Bar (NE corner of Kings Hwy & US41). Some folks start getting there around 5:30, and the “official stuff” starts around 6:00. Hope to see you there. And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been”. Photos by Second Parrot and Mitzi Vogel

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Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau Short List of Reasons to Love Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands in February Jennifer A. Huber Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau February is a perfect time to enjoy what you love about Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands. Following is a short list of things to see and do this month. Pedal to Your Heart’s Content in Punta Gorda. Last year, Punta Gorda became the first Florida community to offer a free biker-share program when TEAM Punta Gorda launched the Yellow Biker Loaner Program. Currently, there are three locations to pick up a loaner bicycle: Fishermen’s Village, Four Points by Sheraton Punta Gorda Harborside and Laishley Park Municipal Marina. All that is needed is a credit card, driver’s license and signature of a waiver. Exploring downtown Punta Gorda by bicycle is fun and easy and the Yellow Biker Loaner Program makes it a whole lot easier. Experience the Zest of Englewood History. The 9th Annual Lemon Bay Fest returns Feb. 5 through

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Feb. 12, 2011, in downtown Englewood when the area’s zesty history is celebrated. Highlights include a murder mystery musical called “The Case of the Crushed

stars as Buddy Wachter and Johnny Baier, get your tickets now. The Houston All Star Youth Banjo Band is also scheduled to appear (www. gulfcoastbanjosociety.com). The 6th Annual Wine & Jazz Festival returns to Laishley Park with headliners David Benoit and Mindi Abair supported by Acorn Ranch AllStars 2011. The Wine & Jazz Festival is an opportunity to enjoy the cool sounds of jazz and flavors of Punta Gorda. This is one hot ticket, too, so get your tickets sooner than later. (www. puntagordachamber.com)

when the 2010 American League East Champions Tampa Bay Rays welcome the Pittsburgh Pirates. (www.raysbaseball.com) In addition to spring training, the Snowbird Baseball Classic with Division I and III college play returns Feb. 18 through March 27. Don’t miss the Feb. 25 game between Ohio State University and Western Michigan University at 3 p.m. at the Charlotte Sports Park. Admission is free. (www. snowbirdbaseball.com)

Cheer for the Boys of Summer. Major League Baseball returns when Tampa Bay Rays players begin reporting for training at the Charlotte Sports Park on Feb. 15. Saturday, Feb. 26 is the first home spring training game of the season

CharlotteHarborTravel.com

Conch” being performed by the Suncoast Players. The musical takes viewers back to Englewood of 1957. Additional event highlights include tours, a series of informative Englewood history programs and a day-long Cracker Fair on Feb. 12. Visit www.lemonbayfest.com for a complete schedule of events. A Jazz Fest and a Banjo Bash Convene in Punta Gorda. The weekend of Feb. 18 will be a musical one in Punta Gorda when the Gulf Coast Banjo Society hosts the 2nd Annual Punta Gorda Banjo Bash takes over the Charlotte Harbor Event & Conference Center on Friday and Saturday, Feb. 18 and 19. Last year, shows sold out so if you’re interested in seeing the banjo’s brightest

February 2011

Well that’s the short list of hot happenings, for an additional suggestion of things to do in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands, visit www.

and don’t forget to “Like” us on Facebook.com/ CharlotteHarbor.

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Twisted Humor Valentine for Osama Little David comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learnt about the history of Valentine’s Day. “Since Valentine’s Day is celebrated for a Christian saint and we’re Jewish,” he asks, “will God get mad at me for giving someone else a valentine?”David’s father thinks a bit, then says, “No, I don’t think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?”“Osama Bin Laden,” David says.“Why Osama Bin Laden?” his father asks in shock.“Well,” David says, “I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we’re not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what Idid and sent valentines to Osama, he’d love everyone a lot. And then he’d start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn’t hate anyone anymore.”His father’s heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride and says, “David, that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever heard.” “I know,” David says, “and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines shoot him!”

Three men are all walking a deserted beach one day when they come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. ‘I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total’, says the Genie. The first man says ‘I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America ‘ POOF! With the blink of the Genie’s eye, the land in America was forever fertile for farming. The Middle-eastern man was amazed, so he said, ‘I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidel Westerners can come into our precious land.’ POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around those countries. The Redneck says, ‘I am very curious. Please tell me more about this here wall. The Genie explains, ‘Well, it’s about 30 feet high, 20 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it’s virtually impenetrable.’...the Redneck scratches his head for a few seconds, calmly smiles and says, “fill ‘er with water!”

Drive By Shooting

How long have you been married? When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. ‘The first ten years are the hardest.’ ‘How long have you been married?’ she asked. ‘Ten years’, he replied.

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February 2011

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Tuesday 1st John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 8pm Wednesday 2nd Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill John Reno – Farlows on the Water Thursday 3rd The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pm Reconnections Band – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5:30-8pm Beans & Seeds – Zeke’s Bar&Grill/ Englewood ~ 6-9pm Stephen Foster – Waterside Grill Friday 4th John Fremont – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pm Headway – Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 7-7:30pm Pushmower - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 7:45-8:15pm Rebirth - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 8:30-9pm Through The Side - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 9:15-9:45pm Snicklefritz - Charlotte County

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Live Music Schedule

February Fairgrounds ~ 10-10:45pm Carnival of Crue - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 11-Mid Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 8-Mid Latitude – Isles Yacht Club/Punta Gorda ~ 6:30-9:30pm Paul Cottrel – Waterside Grill Saturday 5th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Storm Surge – Neighbors Bar&Grill/ Englewoods ~ 8-Mid Michael Hirst – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 9-Mid Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 8-Mid Sunny Jim – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm John Friday – Cape Coral Farmers Market ~ 8:30am Gary & Kerri – Danny’s in Deep Creek ~ 8-11pm

A John Denver Tribute by Tom Becker – Cape Coral HS ~ 7pm Sunday 6th Jeff Hughes – Lido Key Tiki Bar/Lido Beach ~ 2-6pm Beans & Seeds – Eagle Grille/Boca Grande ~ 5-8pm Latitude – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Gary & Kerri – Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 1&4pm Cindy Walsh – Ragged Ass Saloon ~ 2-5pm Monday 7th Elvis Tribute Show – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm Jeff Hughes – VFW/North Port ~ 6:30-9:30pm Tuesday 8th Matt Wahl – Coral Rock ~ 5:30pm Elton John Tribute Show – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 8pm Wednesday 9th Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill Thursday 10th Beans and Seeds – Goal Post ~ 6-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pm Who’s Your Daddy – Waterside Grill Friday 11th Shawn Brown – Nav-A-Gator ~

February 2011

7-10pm Storm Surge – Stump Pass Grille ~ 7-10pm The Top Hats – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pm Beans & Seeds – Saltwater Café ~ 7-11pm Gibson Cage – Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 8-8:45pm Carnival of Soul - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 9-9:45pm Nine Mile Drive - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 10-10:45pm

Team Cybergeist - Charlotte County Fairgrounds ~ 11-Mid Stephen Foster – Waterside Grill Saturday 12th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Carol & Johnnie – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – Sharky’s on the Pier ~ 8-Mid Beans & Seeds – Pine Island KOA Resort ~ 5-7pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 9-Mid

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Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-Mid Sunny Jim w/Skeet Mavis – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30-10:30pm Sunday 13th Storm Surge – Gatorz ~ 5-9pm Trio De Janeiro Band – Lock N Key ~ 4-8pm Beans & Seeds – Woody’s Waterside ~ 2-5pm Jack Mosley – Neighbors Bar/ Englewood ~ 4-8pm John Reno – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Monday 14th Tropical Ave. – Venetian Gardens/ Venice ~ 5-7pm Tuesday 15th Ken McBride – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 8pm Wednesday 16th Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill Thursday 17th The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pm Beans & Seeds – Zeke’s Bar&Grill/ Englewood ~ 6-9pm Stephen Foster – Waterside Grill Friday 18th Magen & Mike – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – Joe Cracker ~ 7:3011:30pm Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 8-Mid Gary & Kerri – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8-Mid Beans & Seeds – Waterside Grill Saturday 19th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Reconnections Band – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub

Live Music Schedule

February ~ 7-11pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 9-Mid Jack Mosley – Pineapples ~ 8-Mid John Reno – Ice House Pub ~ 7-10pm Sunny Jim – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Latitude – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30-10:30pm John Friday – Cape Coral Farmers Market ~ 8:30am Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 6-10pm Sunday 20th Jeff Hughes – Lido Key Tiki Bar/Lido Beach ~ 2-6pm Latitude – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Gary & Kerri – Lock N Key ~ 4-7pm Monday 21st Four Leaf Strummers Banjo Group – Fishermen’s Village ~ 11:30-1pm Tuesday 22nd Maurice LoMonoco – Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm John Reno – Pineapples ~ 6:309:30pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 8pm Wednesday 23rd Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill Thursday 24th The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30-11:30pm Jack Mosley – The Villages PHC B-Day Party Who’s Your Daddy – Waterside Grill Friday 25th

Storm Surge – Yvettes Sports Grill/ Venice ~ 8-Mid Patchouli – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – Bentley’s/Osprey ~ 8-Mid Beans & Seeds – Saltwater Café ~ 7-11pm Bourbon Blues – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8-Mid John Reno –

Woody’s Waterside ~ 7-10pm Gary & Kerri – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30-10:30pm Paul Cottrel – Waterside Grill Saturday 26th DooWop Denny – Saltwater Café ~ 7-10pm Storm Surge – Honoluana Grill ~ 7:30-11:30pm Up The Creek – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Tropical Ave. – Englewood Wine Walk ~ 4-8pm Terry Hogan – Mooseheads ~ 9-Mid Jack Mosley – Benedettos ~ 8-Mid Gary & Kerri – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Sunday 27th Jeff Hughes – Lido Key Tiki Bar/ Lido Beach ~ 2-6pm Beans & Seeds – Woody’s Waterside ~ 2-5pm Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 2-6pm Monday 28th A Tribute to “The Jersey Boys” Visani’s Comedy Theater ~ 7:30pm

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February 2011

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This month’s feature artist is something quite unique, and brings a very special musical talent to this area. Leslie DaCosta Jr is a musical artist and entertainer specializing in jazz-saxophone, flute and vocals. His performances cover a wide range of music including, Jazz, Bossa Nova, Blues, Gospel, Rock and R&B. He was born in Panama and raised in New York City. Les is a consummate professional, with well over 30 years of experience to his credit. His performance is an entire evening of entertainment, as well as, an experience that will touch the hearts and stimulate the minds of all present! I had the chance to catch up with Les and find out a little bit about him, his music, and his passion...

Featured Band By Jack Gray

Leslie DaCosta

You can catch him every week for Sunday JAZZ BRUNCH at TABLE 209 located at 209 W. Olympia Avenue, Punta Gorda, FL, USA. Join Les for a delicious brunch, at this newly renovated cafe in the heart of downtown Punta Gorda, for the finest foods and wines you have ever experienced. Brunch time is 11-4pm Showtime for the jazz is 11:30-2pm. Reservations are recommended, but they accept first come basis if there is ample room. Tel # is (941) 639-3990 www.table209. com.

After moving from Panama, Les grew up with his parents in upper Manhattan. Both, the musical taste of his family, and exposure to the culture of the city, certainly had an early influence on his musical interests. “My father listened to a lot of Ray Charles, Billy Holiday, and I remember even down in Panama my mother used to listen to Peggy Lee a lot... I grew up in Harlem, right down the street from Sugar Ray Robinson’s Restaurant and the Apollo Theater. I remember a lot of brown stone houses, and how that place lit up at night! There were so many things happening… Just the smells of the hot dogs from Chevy’s Shanty, and there was so much activity with the steakhouses and everything... So, that was a big musical influence. Then we moved down to midtown. That (culturally) was another great place to be. Broadway was only 2 blocks away… That was my first taste of pizza... I didn’t like it at first; it had to grow on me...”

store. I knew how the Christmas Carols sounded, so I would just follow the numbers above the notes, and gradually taught myself how to play the flute and play the music. Finally, by the time I got out of Junior High School, I picked up my first professional instrument, the clarinet.”

When Les was 8 years old, his Grandmother gave him a book of Christmas carols, which gave him the spark and inspiration to learn music. “I bought a ten cent Japanese flute at a candy

Les played oboe, and became a proficient classical clarinetist throughout Junior and into High School. “I went to a good public school. They had all the music programs; boys club, GLEE Club,

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music. Now, after working for a while in refrigeration, and a short stint in computers, it has become his career… Les has primarily been playing gigs in downtown Punta Gorda and the Port Charlotte area since he moved to Florida with his family in 1998. He’s done a few gigs in the courtyard at Presellers Deli, he played at the grand opening for Mooseheads Cigar Bar, and kickedout some jazz at the Captain’s Table in Fishermen’s Village above Harpoon Harry’s.

Leslie V DaCosta Jr is available for performances, gigs and concerts. Contact him at for bookings at 941-623-2982. You may sign up for Leslie’s newsletter, check his schedule, and find out more information about him on his website at: www.lesliedacostajr.com.

orchestra, jazz band, and I was in every one of them... When I was 17, I picked up the sax and started playing jazz. I’d lock myself up after school and just play”. Les studied with Montego Joe and Joe Panama in the HARYOU (Harlem Youth) Latin jazz program in the seventies playing throughout the NY metropolitan area. Les attended Wagner and City College of NY, and performed with David Murray, Bill Saxton, Joe Locke, Granville Lee, and others... Les has always had a passion for

February 2011

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Weekly Specials

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Monday-Happy Hour Al Day! Lobster Feast! Whole Maine Lobster just $16.99! Served with homeade Swiss bread, Corn on the Cob and Red Skin Potato Tuesday- STEAM POT PARTY!! x $16.99; for two Petite $12.99,Regular $18.99 $26.99! What's in a Steam Pot? Oysters, Mussels, Shrimp, Snow Crab Cluster, Corn on The Cob, Red Skin Potato. Wednesday- CRAB SPECIALS! Snow Crab 1 Lb. $14.99, 1 1/2 Lb. $ 16.99, with Prime Rib just $26.99! Ladies’ Night 6:00 PM-One Free UV Martini for every Lady! Live Music! Thursday- 12 oz. Prime Rib $16.99 - with Beer Shrimp $19.99 Friday- TGIF PARTY!! Six Fresh Fish, Live Music starting at 7 PM Great food & Drink Specials!! Saturday- Live Music! Starting at7:30 PM Put Your Dancing shoes on!! Get ready to ROCK & ROLL!! Sunday-Sunday Brunch 11:30 am-2:30 p.m. Live Music & FREE Mimosa! All day Gourmet Pizza are ONE DOLLAR OFF on any Pizzas and TWO DOLLARS OFF on any whole Pizzas!

Photographs Courtesy Saltwater Cafe

Amazingly even with this the prices still allow everyone to enjoy Chef Rolfs cuisine. There are daily lunch specials including a choice of 5 express lunches for only $5.99. Monday is lobster day, with live Main lobster for $16.99. Tuesday has the steam pot special for only $12.99. Wednesday is crab day with a pound of snow crab for $14.99. On Thursday locals enjoy a whole pound of prime rib for only $16.99. One of the new additions to the menu is a sirloin and shrimp combo for $16.99 or a entire 3 course meal for 2 people including a bottle of wine is only $39.99. It is truly amazing. With all this it is no wonder the Saltwater Cafe is thriving.

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February 2011

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February 2011

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February 2011

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“Your”Chamber By John Wright

“Your” Chamber of Commerce in Punta Gorda February – the month of Wine and Jazz! Don’t tell us you didn’t know about it! Have you been living in a bubble for the last few months! Our annual Wine and Jazz Festival – now in its sixth year will take place on Saturday February 19th at Laishley Park, Punta Gorda and included in your one ticket price are: the incredible musicality of Mr. David Benoit, Mindi Abair as support and the talents of the Acorn Ranch 2011 All-Stars, who shall get the proceedings underway. If you visit our website, you’ll get the complete lowdown on all three sets of performers and realize the incredible talent being presented on our stage this year. Also included in your ticket price will be wine samplings from around the world and food samplings from local restaurants. Our friends at Stella Artois will also be there to help the festivities flow! All guests will receive a welcome souvenir bag containing your souvenir wine tasting glass and beer goblet. The park opens at 12.30pm with the first act going “live’ at 1pm. For your own comfort, bring your lawn chairs and relax a while. No coolers or pets are allowed in the park for this event. (We might make an exception for a parrot though!) Tickets are available from the online payment center at www. puntagordachamber.com All tickets are mailed out on the next business day, or can be held at Will Call for the day of the performances. Don’t miss out on the best event of the “Season”.

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We are also in the final stages of putting together a new Festival for our city, that will truly be a exciting spectator and participant treat. On Saturday April 23rd we present our first annual Dragonboat Festival – War on the Peace! - at Laishley Park Punta Gorda. Dragon Boats are a 20-person craft, which need to be paddled down a 400 meter course in a series of heats. The festival combines teams that are both professional and amateur and provides each team a great opportunity to raise money for their favorite charity. Each team will be provided with a “boat” and training, so all you have to do is get a group of 20 keen community-minded folks together and register at www. puntagordachamber.com All you need to participate are 20 coworkers, good friends or fellow students. Dragon boating is a team sport, 20 people paddle the 40’ long dragon boat 400 meters (in approximately 2 ½ minutes!) to a fast and furious finish. It is fun and rewarding. Included in your entry fee are two practices, each of one hour length in the week before the race. Then on Saturday you are ready to compete. In addition to competing in a fun sporting event, you are aiding a charity right here in our Punta Gorda Community. Together with the Punta Gorda Chamber of Commerce, the Charlotte Harbor Paddlers, a local dragon boat club, plan to make this an annual event showcasing Punta Gorda’s waterfront and the introduction of a water sport where co-ed teams of all ages can participate. Other things of note this month are; 3rd Annual Peace River Regional Pantyhose Free Zone Women’s Expo, 9am-3pm, Cultural Center of Charlotte County, Inc. You are invited to participate. This one-day event will be held on February

5, 2011 at the Cultural Center of Charlotte County. The organizers are currently seeking exhibitors who are interested in showcasing their products and/or services to the female market within our community. They want to incorporate a variety of exhibitors who will appeal to women in areas such as fashion and beauty, health and fitness, finance, travel, education, art and so much more. This event will allow you to reach an enormous group of potential customers on a oneto-one basis in a fun, friendly and educational environment. Haven’t heard of the Pantyhose Free Zone Women’s Expo? Well allow us to give you an idea of the magnitude of this event: Last year’s exhibitor participation doubled in size from the previous year, and attendance grew by over 35% with women joining us from Charlotte, Lee, Desoto, and Sarasota counties. The turnout over 2100 in attendance - was phenomenal, and they expect 2011’s to be just as grand. Don’t miss out on this ultimate day out! Sign up today to participate in the 3rd Annual Peace River Regional Medical Center Pantyhose Free Zone 2011 Women’s Expo. Again, spacing is limited. All applications are reviewed and processed on a first come-first served basis. For more information, please contact Bevin Gallo, Peace River Regional Marketing Coordinator, at 941-766-4399, or email to: bevin.gallo@hma.com On February 26th, the 1st ever Pub Crawl in downtown Punta Gorda is benefiting the Harry Chapin food bank with food drive and looking to have hundreds of participants help by bringing canned goods to the event. Cost for Crawl $25.00 pre-paid or $30.00 day of. 3- 4PM. Sign in & donate your food item at Benedetto’s Tiki bar; 300 Retta Esplande, Punta Gorda. Pub

February 2011

Crawlers will receive a T-shirt, Coolie Cup, Noise maker, and coupon book. Anyone bringing a food item will receive a raffle ticket to win a cruise aboard the “Victory Chimes” Windjammer Schooner in Maine. The first one hundred people that preregister will receive a second raffle ticket for the cruise. Also prizes awarded at the end for the best hat worn and the furthest traveled. Participants will take a walk though some of the most awesome pubs, bars & restaurants Punta Gorda has to offer. The evening concludes at the Ice House Pub for the final hour at 11PM. There are Seven stops along the way, some with live music. Special rates at downtown hotels and good fairs from local cab companies will be available and free parking in downtown garage. If you have not been to the rebuilt “Huricanized” city of Punta Gorda you should not miss this chance to have a good time and help feed the hungry in Southwest Florida.. If you’d like more information www. puntagordapubcrawl.com or call Mike Colgan 239-872-1171 or Nick Berry at 941-628-4800. Tickets are also available at Punta Gorda Chamber’s on line payment center at www.puntagorda-chamber. com For a full listing of events as well as to search for our approved Chamber members’ details, please visit www. puntagordachamber.com The events and calendar link is a great page, but also visit the Friday Facts link!

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February 2011

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February 2011

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UPCOMING EVENTS Feb. 5 - Cruzin on Dearborn 5 - 8 p.m. Cars & Oldies Feb. 12 - Historic Cracker Fair 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Feb. 12 - Saturday Nite Live 5 - 9 p.m. Dining & Shopping Feb. 19 - Dearborn Street Book Festival 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Feb. 26 - 5th Annual Wine Walk 3 p.m. to Dusk by ticket only, see web site for info.

Dearest Parrot Zine, We have been together these 4 years now,Through good times and bad we have stuck together. We are better for it and have grown closer, Looking forward to 4 more plus many. Love The Portside Tavern

Dear Rick--I have loved you since you asked me if I liked margaritas and hot tubs-Still do!

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February 2011

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Be My Valentine Carrie, After 32 years , you still make my eyes light up every time I see you.... Matt

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February 2011

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Witticisms of Ignorance We are very excited about our Birthday Bash the weekend of June 10th at Bentleys Resort in Osprey. We are in the planning

It ‘s not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “smart”? The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson. A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party. When blondes have more fun do they know it? Five days a week my body is a temple. The other two it’s an amusement park. Learn from your parents’ mistakes Use birth control If at first you don’t succeed skydiving is not for you..

It’s February already? January slid by but not without a few fun events. Our Happy Hour was awesome as always, over 50 of us journeyed to Jamrocks, where we found out there is still some swivel left in our hips as we danced to the Jamaican music provided by Mello! We invaded the polo grounds on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in January where we had fun in our own French Bistro tailgate setting. We closed the month out with Late Night Extreme Bowling and oh was it ever “extreme”!

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol. Red meat is not bad for you Fuzzy green meat is! One good thing about Alzheimer’s is you get to meet new people everyday. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge to produce reproductive organs. Artificial intelligence is no Match for natural stupidity. I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

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This year the SBPHC is sponsoring a Relay for Life team. It is an all night event to be held the night of April 9th at Sarasota High School. Our goal is to raise money to eventually eliminate cancer so more people can have birthdays. This journey thru the night honors cancer survivors, caretakers and those that have lost their lives to this terrible disease.

On February 11th, our Happy Hour will be at Geckos @ the Landings off of US 41; on March 11th, we will return to Firkin & Fox off of route 64 W. in Bradenton. We will be having an extra Happy Hour on Sunday, February 27th at the Linger Lodge . Jack Mosley will be playing from 4-7, come on

stages, with a great band line up set. Our theme this year will be “License 2 Chill” and believe me – we will! We are now

out & have some fun. Our socials are held the last Thursday of every month at the Courtyard of the Sarmana Eagles Club off of Beneva Rd. Check us accepting registrations; check out our website @ www. sbphc.com for more information on how to register, you do not want to miss this party!

February 2011

out at our website: www. sbphc.com. Better yet check us out in person, who knows you might just get the urge to join! Till next month, don’t forget – We’re growing older but not up…….. Sherry Swartz

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Not sure where the after party is (or perhaps just don’t remember). Buffett is coming back to town on April 16th. Club tickets have come and gone so if you wanted to go I hope you bought some. More on this next month as tailgate plans are finalized. Yours truly wants to send out kudos to Flip Flop Dave for playing our 5th Wednesday meeting Hey Tampa Bay Parrotheads, what on 12/29. He played only for tips and did a fabulous job as usual. tiiiiiiiime is it? It’s time to hit Thanks a bunch!! Our meeting on the lanes. Parrothead bowling is 1/19 had pirates galore getting back on Saturday, February 5th at Dunedin Lanes, and then we hit the bar afterward for some karaoke. Always a great time so come on out and play. Its $7 a head and all proceeds go to our endowment for the USF College of Marine Science. We also have a beach clean up on Saturday February 19th so be in the old WJs parking lot around 9:15am.

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February 2011

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Tampa Bay Parrot Heads in Paradise Club Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose

prepared for the Gasparilla invasion. Parrotheads and pirates do go hand in hand. Congrats to Lee and Marilyn for winning the best dressed portion of our program, and Bob & Mary Noble who won the VIP passes to the Captain Morgan event. And a big shout out to Jim Hannigan of Coastal Wine and Sprits for providing the great raffle prizes and swag. He always hooks us up. And yours truly forgot to mention the great work of Teresa Henson

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a couple months ago. She took on collecting items for the troops. Here is what she wrote. “Please forward our sincere THANK YOU to all. The Tampa Bay Parrot Head and Charlotte Harbor Parrot Head members and family and friends and co-workers donated a total of 7 large boxes of gifts weighing 271 lbs. to send our troops. Also donated were 450.00 cash and 3 letters to the troops. We have shipped all to an organization call Operation Gratitude. www. opgratitude.com Operation Gratitude marked this December by sending the 600,000 care package to our heroes in harms way. I have attached pictures of our living room just before we starting packing the boxes. What does not show up on the picture is all the love and support we sent.” Way to go parrotheads, and come home safely to our troops!!

On a sad note, we had to say goodbye to one of our Parrothead phamily. Larry Stewart passed away on January 9th. He was a great guy and leaves behind a wonderful wife BJ. They were both members of the original Queen’s Court when we started it and he will certainly be missed. And this month also marks a year ago that we lost another PH member. My pal Joe(y) Bukowski passed away on 2/18/10. Even after a year I still wait to see him walk into a meeting, beer in hand, smile on his face. He is certainly missed by all, including Karen, his wife of 33 years. Sail on gentlemen!!

can find us at Whiskey Joe’s (on the Tampa causeway next to the public parking for Ben T. Davis beach) on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month. Check out our website at www. finsup.com for more details about the club or any of our upcoming events (click on the “Calendar” banner and go to the Ok, I think that’s it for now. I month in which you need info). hope everyone is able to keep And remember, “Wrinkles only warm in the coming month(s). In go where the smiles have been.” the meantime you need to join us at our next Parrothead meeting. You Roving Photographer Jersey Jim Tizzano

February 2011

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Romantic or Not Tampa Bay has you Covered Yes, it’s February…yes, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. But whether you are planning on snuggling up with your significant other or just hanging out with friends to celebrate the holiday you really don’t want to celebrate (or anything in between), there are plenty of events taking place throughout the area to keep you entertained.

And for you sports fans, the Tampa Bay Lightning have been turning some heads this season, so make sure you head over to the St. Pete Times Forum in downtown Tampa to catch a game (and if you’re lucky enough to have a significant other who enjoys the games as much as you do, I salute you!). Throughout February, they’ll be taking on the Philadelphia Flyers, the Washington Capitals, St. Louis Blues, Buffalo Sabres, Carolina Hurricanes, Detroit Red Wings, Florida Panthers, Phoenix Coyotes and New Jersey Devils, so the action on the ice will be hot. While you’re making your plans, grab some tickets for the Nuclear Cowboyz or Ozzy Osbourne, both of which will be performing at the Forum. Head over to www.SPTimesForum.com now to get your tickets.

Let’s start with an event that’s “Always in Tampa, Always in February!” The annual Florida State Fair is right around the corner, and the countdown is on – literally… take a look at their website, www. FloridaStateFair.com. From Feb. 10-21, the annual State Fair is a salute to the state’s best in the agriculture and equestrian industries, not to mention an amazing amount of shows, music, rides, food and shopping for 12 consecutive days. From some of the best “Fair Food” you’ll ever experience to great local entertainment and rides that will make you wish you hadn’t eaten in a week, the Florida State Fair provides an experience like none other! Now, the Fair has been going on a really long time, but if you really want to experience some of Tampa Bay’s historic roots, head over to Ybor City on Feb. 26 for Fiesta Day. Started to honor the oldest residents

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living in Ybor, the festival now honors the Cuban, German, Italian, African-Cuban, Jewish and Spanish immigrants who first settled the former “Cigar City” in 1886. A 56-year-old tradition, the free festival fills 14 blocks with fun and activities such as cultural exhibits, concerts and arts and crafts. The Columbia Restaurant, Tampa’s palace of Spanish cuisine and flamenco dance, serves free Spanish bean soup, paella, cafe con leche and Cuban bread. If you’re looking for a little arts and culture to infuse in to your evenings, the Straz

Center for the Performing Arts is offering a variety of performances that will have you applauding all night long, including Forbidden Broadway: Greatest Hits: Vol. 1, Defending the Caveman, and the best show you will ever see (New York Post) Billy Elliot the Musical.

I could go on and on forever, but as you can see, there are plenty of ways to enjoy the great events taking place in and around Tampa Bay throughout February, and throughout the year. Visit www.VisitTampaBay. com to get the full story about what’s happening around the area and start making your plans. Have a great month everyone!

You’ll also get the chance to see one of the great ventriloquists ever when Jeff Dunham brings his Identity Crisis Tour 2011 to Tampa Bay. And there’s plenty more, so take a look at www. StrazCenter. org to get the full schedule.

February 2011

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Photo Caption Contest Send us your ideas for a funny caption for this photo and we will print the winner along with the winners name in our next issue. E-mail us at publisher@swflparrot.com or mail entries to The Parrot, 3280-55 Tamiami Trail Suite 165 Port Charlott, Florida 33952

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February 2011

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Tuesday 1st DIVA AND THE “ITALIAN GUY” AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time at 7:30pm. For more information visit www. visani.net Tuesday 1st PATTI LABELLE performing at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 8pm. For more info visit www.vanwezel.org Wednesday 2nd-5th LIVE COMEDY WITH JULIE SCOGGINS/ CHRIS COPE AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For more information visit www.visani.net Thursday 3rd – 21st 2011 CIRCUS SARASOTA ENGAGEMENT“UNDER THE BIG TOP” We promise an incredible, exciting show featuring an international cast of artists and entertainers. ALL tickets for the first five opening performances are HALF-PRICE. For more info visit www.circussarasota.org Thursday 3rd-6th RINGLING IN BLOOM AT THE JOHN AND MABLE RINGLING MUSEUM OF ART in Sarasota. A fabulous four-day celebration of flowers, fashion, food, & fine art. Visit www. ringling.org for more information. Thursday 3rd MUSEUM OF ART & CIRCUS MUSEUM PRESENTS ART AFTER 5: COCKTAILS & OBSERVATIONS every Thursday from 5-8pm. Enjoy the Museum of Art permanent collection and special exhibition galleries, cocktails and great conversation on the loggia. After hours discounted admission are adults are $10, children ages 6-17 are $5, and under 5 are free. info go to www.ringling. org Friday 4th-6th CHARLOTTE HARBOR REGATTA! More than 100 boats and nearly 200 sailors from all over the country will descend on Charlotte Harbor . For more information about the Charlotte Harbor Regatta visit our web site at www.charlotteharborregatta. com. Friday 4th-13th CHARLOTTE COUNTY FAIR! At the Charlotte County Fairgrounds in Port Charlotte on El Jobean Rd. For more information visit www.thecharlottecountyfair.com Friday 4th CHARLOTTE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS PRESENTS

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February EVENTS

METAL MADNESS!! Carnival of Crue-Rebirth-Through the SidePushmower-Snicklefritz-Headway5 of The “BEST” Metal Bands in SW Florida performing at this “Awesome” outdoor event from 7pm-Mid. Friday 4th 2011 LANDSCAPE GARDENING SERIES at the Charlotte Harbor Event Center in Punta Gorda from 9:30am-11:30am. For more information visit www. charlotte.ifas.ufl.edu Saturday 5th JOHN DENVER TRIBUTE SHOW! At the Cape Coral High School. Show time is 7pm. Tickets are $15 and are available by calling 239-542-5099. Tom and his wife Michelle are known locally as the award-winning Trop Rock duo, Latitude. For more info visit www.johndenvertribute.net Saturday 5th CHARLOTTE HEART WALK AT LAISHLEY PARK in Punta Gorda. Begins at 9am. For more information on participating in the Start Heart Walk, call the American Heart Association at 941-544-3783 or visit AmericanHeart.org/Start! Saturday 5th MONSTER JAM AT RAYMOND JAMES STADIUM in Tampa at 7pm. Tickets can be purchased from www.ticketmaster.com or by calling 1-800-745-3000. Children 2 years of age and younger do not require a ticket. Saturday 5th HOMEWARD BOUND GREYHOUNDS PET ADOPTION AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 1-3pm in front of Salty Paws. Saturday 5th FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh produce, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstrations & performers. Saturday 5th & 6th 17TH ANNUAL SIESTA KEY CRAFT FESTIVAL from 10-5pm. Free Admission. Located off Ocean Blvd and Beach Rd. Come join us in Sarasota for a day of fun. Saturday 5th VENICE FARMERS MARKET in Centennial Park

Downtown from 9am-Noon. Every Saturday. Local produce, plants, flowers, imported oils, pastries and so much more. Saturday 5th CRUIZIN’ ON DEARBORN from 5-8pm in Englewood. Oldtime Cars-and oldtime tunes. Hundreds of old car enthusiasts and scores of old car brighten Dearborn Street. Music will flood the street and most restaurants and shops are open late! For more info visit our website at www.oldeenglewood.com Saturday 5th GREY MATTERS- 2ND ANNUAL BENEFIT TOWARDS THE CURE FOR BRAIN CANCER held at the Historical Punta Gorda Women’s Club on Sullivan St. in Punta Gorda from 7-9pm. In memory of all those who have lost their battle with brain cancer. Pre-sales of donation tickets can be purchased by cash or check at the Punta Gorda Chamber of Commerce Office. $20 donation at the door. Saturday 5th THE NAV-A-GATOR PRESENTS THEIR “PRE SUPER BOWL 45 PARTY” from 2-5pm. Plenty of food and drink specials and gaming activities along with great live music. Saturday 5th SARASOTA’S FARMERS MARKET EVERY SATURDAY from 7am to Noon. On Lemon Ave. & Main Street. Rain or Shine. Visit www.sarasotadowntown.com for more details. Monday 7th ELVIS TRIBUTE SHOW WITH DWIGHT ICENHOWER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time is 7:30pm. Tickets are $12. For more info visit www. visani.net Tuesday 8th ELTON JOHN TRIBUTE SHOW WITH DWIGHT ICENHOWER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time is 7:30pm. For more ticket information visit www. visani.net Wednesday 9th-12th LIVE COMEDY WITH KID DYNAMITE!! JIMMY “JJ” WALKER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times visit www.visani.net Thursday 10th-21st FLORIDA

February 2011

STATE FAIR! In Tampa at 4800 Hwy 301 North. For more information visit www. floridastatefair.net Thursday 10th SHIRLEY MACLAINE appearing at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 8pm. For more information visit www. vanwezel.org Friday 11th CHARLOTTE COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS PRESENTS – Team Cybergeist-Nine Mile DriveCarnival of Soul-Gibson Cage! Don’t miss this awesome outdoor event from 7pm-Mid. Times are subject to change so get there early. Friday 11th CORN DOGS AND COUNTRY AT THE AMPHITHEATRE AT THE FLORIDA STATE FAIRGROUNDS in Tampa at 6pm. For more info visit www. fordamp.com or for tickets call 1-800-ASK-GARY. Friday 11th-13th SPRING CLEANOUT RV SHOW AT THE GERMAIN ARENA from 10am-5pm. Admission and parking are FREE! For more info visit www.germainarena.com Saturday 12th-14th NAV-A-GATOR PRESENTS THEIR “VALENTINE’S WEEKEND SPECIAL” Visit www.nav-a-gator.com for more information. Saturday 12th FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm produce, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, and creative demonstrations & performers. Saturday 12th SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ON DEARBORN in Englewood. From 6-9pm. Shops will open late. Shop, dine, and play on Dearborn Street! Visit www. oldeenglewood.com Saturday 12th HISTORIC CRACKER FAIR ON DEARBORN ST. in Englewood from 10am-4pm. For more info visit www.oldeenglewood.com Saturday 12th & 13th HOME AND GARDEN SHOW AT THE GERMAIN ARENA from 10am-

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February EVENTS 4pm. Tickets are $5; free for 18 and under. For more info visit www. germainarena.com Saturday 12th VALENTINE MASQUERADE hosted by The Port Charlotte Beach Recreation Center from 6-9pm. Join us for an evening of great music, dancing, food, refreshments and raffle prizes. Music provided by Heart and Soul. Monday 14th SAY “I DO” AGAIN IN SIESTA KEY on the white sands on Valentine’s Day. More than 300 couples took part in last year’s vow-renewal ceremony. For more information visit www. siestakeychamber.com Monday 14th VALENTINE’S DAY COMEDY EVENT WITH AL ERNST/CHRIS GAY AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times visit www.visani.net Tuesday 15th LIVE MUSIC WITH KEN MCBRIDE “HIMSELF” AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Special Event. For show times or tickets visit www. visani.net Wednesday 16th-19th LIVE COMEDY WITH AL ERNST/CHRIS GAY AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For tickets visit www.visani.net Thursday 17th WILLIE NELSON AND FAMILY LIVE IN CONCERT at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 8pm. For more info visit www.vanwezel.org Thursday 17th GALLERY WALK IN PUNTA GORDA from 5-8pm. The Punta Gorda Downtown Merchants Association brings you art, music, live demonstrations, shopping and food, and a free trolley. Thursday 17th ART AFTER 5: JAZZ ON THE BAY AT THE JOHN AND MABLE RINGLING MUSEUM OF ART in Sarasota from 5-8pm. Join us for sunsets, cocktails and jazz on the bay featuring live entertainment from The Jazz Club of Sarasota. Visit www. ringling.org Friday 18th OZZY OSBOURNE APPEARING AT THE ST. PETE TIMES FORUM at 8pm. Tickets are on sale now. For more information visit www.sptimesforum.com

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Friday 18th DANIEL O’DONNELL appearing at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 7pm. For more information visit www. vanwezel.org Saturday 19th ANNUAL WINE AND JAZZ FESTIVAL AT LAISHLEY PARK in Punta Gorda from 1-6pm. Regular tickets are $75 per person to include park entry, wine, food and entertainment-open seating. For more info visit www. puntagordachamber.com or call 941-639-3720. Saturday 19th BRA DAZZLE BRUNCH 2011!! PRESENTED BY DOLLARS FOR MAMMOGRAMS, INC To support a NoCost Mammogram Program from 10-1:30pm at the Rotonda Golf & Country Club at 100 Rotonda Circle, Rotonda West. Tickets are $25 per person. For tickets contact Rita Bertler @ 941-474-9154 or online at www.DollarsForMammograms. org. Limited Seating. Must have a ticket to attend. Saturday 19th FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh produce, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstrations & performers. Saturday 19th DEARBORN ST. BOOK FESTIVAL in Englewood. For more info visit www.oldeenglewood.com Saturday 19th & 20th ANNUAL DOWNTOWN SARASOTA FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS is one of the area’s biggest and best art events. Held on Main St., spanning from 5 points-Selby Park to Orange Ave. Meet some of the best artists in the nation. Sunday 20th TROP ROCK FOR THE KIDS at the Nav-A-Gator from 1-5pm. To support the Sunrise Kiwanis Shoes for Kids Project and other charities. Featuring The Jack Mosley Band and The Galaxy Band. Sunday 20th KEELS & WHEELS CAR SHOW at the Charlotte

County Fairgrounds in Port Charlotte at 233 El Jobean Rd. For more information visit www.charlottecountyfair.com Sunday 20th COMEDY HYPNOTIST RICH GUZZI AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. One Night Only! For show times and tickets visit www. visani.net Tuesday 22nd ITALIAN MUSIC EVENT WITH MAURICE LOMONOCO AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show starts at 7:30pm. For ticket information visit www.visani.net Wednesday 23rd-26th LIVE COMEDY WITH BIG ED CAYLOR/AVERALL CARTER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times and tickets visit our website at www.visani.net Thursday 24th JEFF DUNHAM: IDENTITY CRISIS TOUR 2011 appearing at the St. Pete Times Forum at 7:30pm. Tickets are on sale now. For more info visit www. sptimesforum.com Thursday 24th BOB NEWHART appearing at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 8pm. For more information visit www.vanwezel. org Thursday 24th BILLY PERDOMO FROM PERDOMO CIGARS will be at the Tobacco Locker in North Port at 5334 White Ibis Drive from 6-8pm. We also will have a Craft Beer Tasting and Cuban Food samples! Friday 25th PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Dwarf Cars. For more information visit www.puntagordaspeedway. com Friday 25th RUSSIAN NATIONAL BALLET ROMEO AND JULIET performing at the Van Wezel Performing Arts Hall at 8pm. For more information visit www. vanwezel.org Saturday 26th FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demostra-

February 2011

tions & performers. Saturday 26th PALETTE TO PALATE at the Visual Arts Center in Punta Gorda at 210 Maud St. This is a unique art and dining experience; a fabulous four course dining experience with 13 talented artists who will create centerpieces for each table and display their work in the Goff Gallery. Call Constance Robison at 941-639-3654 or Stacy Calvino at 941-916-2726 or charge your tickets at the Visual Center to reserve your spot for this exciting evening. Saturday 26th PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Sportsman, Pro trucks, Rookie trucks, dwarf cars, Pro 4, Fab 4, Road Warriors, Outlaw Modified. For more information visit our website at www.puntagordaspeedway.com Saturday 26th NUCLEAR COWBOYZ FREESTYLE CHAOS at the St. Pete Times Forum at 7:30pm. The only high octane-fueled theatrical freestyle motocross touring production in the United States. For more information visit www. sptimesforum.com Saturday 26th FIFTH ANNUAL WINE WALK on Dearborn St. in Englewood at 3pm. For more information visit www.oldeenglewood. com Saturday 26th TAMPA BAY RAYS SPRING TRAINING!! At the Charlotte County Sports Park. Saturday 26th LOCAL PUB CRAWL IN PUNTA GORDA BENEFITS THE HARRY CHAPIN FOOD BANK starting at Benedettos Tiki Bar at 300 Retta Esplande. From 3-4pm you will sign in and donate your food item. Pub Crawlers will receive a t-shirt, coolie cup, noise maker and a coupon book. Anyone bringing a food item will receive a raffle ticket. more info www.puntagordachamber.com Monday 28th MUSIC EVENT! “LET’S HANG ON” A TRIBUTE TO “THE JERSEY BOYS” FEATURING BOBBY VALLI AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show starts at 7:30pm. For tickets visit www. visani.net

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Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) - Midmonth is a powerful period for feeling a sense of inner renewal and for hopefulness. Love Meter # 4 Pisces: (Feb. 19-March 20) - You’ll experience lots of activity and attention. You receive good news and vibes on the 13-14, and a partner gives you a boost on the 28th. Love Meter # 6 Aries: (March 21-April 19) – You have been analyzing many aspects of your life, including love, but by mid-March, you will be feeling more directed and re-energized. Love Meter # 3 Taurus: (April. 20-May 20) - Friends are especially helpful and enjoyable to be around, especially if there is wine. The 27-28 brings illumination to a romance. Love Meter # 7 Gemini: (May 21-June 21) – You cannot say your love life is carefree these days. The 13-14 is excellent for beginning any positive thinking or life management program -- your heart and mind are entirely ready for it. Love Meter # 2 Cancer: (June 22-July 22) - Love has been tricky recently, and continues to baffle you in February. You will have opportunities for higher learning, travel, or other mindexpanding experiences. Love Meter #1

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Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22) - Your popularity runs high this month, dear Leo, even though you continue to keep some emotional distance. Good luck, particularly with finances, is likely on the 13-15 and 27-28. Love Meter # 8 Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – . February is an excellent month for your relationships. The 13-17 and 27-28 are especially strong days this month. Love Meter # 3 Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) - The first three weeks of February bring great opportunities for recreation and enjoyment. The 7-8 and 13-15 are potentially magical days for you. Love Meter # 9 Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov.21) - While some of you are encountering difficult circumstances on the job, most of you are experiencing loss of enthusiasm within. February ends on a high note, with more time for recreation from the 18th. Love Meter #7 Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec.21) – The focus is on your feelings, intuition, and comfort rather than what the rest of the world expects of you. The 27-28 brings surprises. Love Meter # 10 Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) - You have so many ideas for the future that it’s hard to settle on just one. The 28th brings new opportunities for learning, teaching, sharing, or promotion for you. Love Meter # 9

February 2011

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February 2011

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