’ Favorite Source For Entertainment t• • May 2011 The Gulf Coast’s
FULL STORY PAGE 6
Inside: Local Guides • Lots of Great Jokes • Live Music • Events
www.cigflorida.com
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May 2011
The Parrot
“See You at The Ra y”
Happy Mo ndayWear/buy a Celtic Ray tshirt g et your 2nd pint fr ee
May 8th Har per Aust Blues Band ralian May 19th St
and Up Com edy May 26-29t h Memorial Day Weekend – The Peelers
1212
The Punta Gorda Pub Trail......
Moosehead's Cigar Lounge “The Cheers of the South”
Live Entertainment •Satur day Night
Charlotte County’s •Origin al Cigar Bar • Free Wi-fi /Free Darts
Happy Hour everyday until 7pm Open Mic night first Tuesday of the month First Sunday of the month – Comedy night
Whatever day you stop in is a good day
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318 Tamiami Trail • Unit 111 • Punta Gorda, Florida 3395 On Northbound 41 between Virginia and Olympia. 0
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ers 8pm to •the crash 12 lver shot •cuervo si promo ervo gold •especial cu omo 8pm pr a it r ga mar to 9pm adding a •we will be bar for courtyard o ay m de o cinc k specials food & drin all day
on ∙pre party may 4th ay sd ne ed w donkey & p am sw h wit quila te a or harad promo o nco de may ∙annual ci sday, r u th on party may 5th rez jerardo pe orld w , la il ev capd guitar renowned m player 4-7p
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The Parrot
May 2011
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Incoming Mail
Send all letters and comments to Publisher@swflparrot.com You Did it Again!!!, You got me!! We were all looking forward to the fire breathing midget strippers at the Celtic Ray tomorrow! I should have known it was too good to be true! T & A airlines was also a major crush! I just found out public beaches were not going clothing optional and I was prepared to flip the magazine over so I could open it this year. I look forward to the April issue every year and you never disappoint! Thanks for all the fun! Dave R. Punta Gorda
but no show. I am new to the area so this is my first April issue of The Parrot. I have heard of past pranks and I am already looking forward to next April’s issue! I plan on keeping this issue so I will always remember my first April in Florida. Signed, The April Fool’s Fool
Drive By Shooting
Hello Parrot, I had hoped we were getting an infusion of some Key West island fun with the Stark in the Park art show. You had me going good, I even went to Laishley park Sunday and next Sunday
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May 2011
The Parrot
Message Board Message to our readers.....
Greetings Parrot Peeps! The Parrot would like to acknowledge the significance of this month, and why it is very special to us... May is “Parrot Month”. May 4th is “Parrot Day”. May 8tth is “Beverage Day”. Then right in the middle is Cinco de’ Mayo! So, while you’re out there celebrating Mexico putting a whoopin’ on the French, make sure The Parrot is your guide on where to go to find your favorite beverage!
inside Incoming 4 Main Stage Development 6-7 Mayor Gonzo Mays 8 Hawaiian Bryan Happy Hour 9 Buffett News 10 Twisted Humor 10 Cooking With Chef Bob 12 CHPHC Report 13 Bartender of the Month 14 Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau 16 Out & About 18-19 Live Music Schedule 20-21 Featured Artist 22 Twisted Times 25 Punta Gorda Chamber 26 Parrot Puzzle Page 28 TBPH Report 32 Tampa Bay and Company 34 Events 36 -37 Parrot Scopes 38
Summer fun starts in May, so tell your friends you seen it in The Parrot!!!
Enjoy, The Parrot staff
Charlotte County
Sarasota County
Photos Also Courtesy of:
“Live where you play” 2011ocean@gmail.com
Freelance Submissions: We welcome freelance writers, illustrators and cartoonists to submit material, but please include sufficient return postage if you want your material returned to you. Distribution: Business owners who would like to be added to our distribution list may call (941)323-4110. Our distribution continues to expand in the Port Charlotte area and Southwest Florida. We replenish supplies several times throughout each month for total market saturation. Advertising: Classified ads must be mailed to us at the address shown below or dropped by our office by appointment. A form is located in the Classified section of this issue. Additional forms are available at our office. For a complete display advertising Media Kit, please call our office or write to us at the address below. Subscriptions: Although The SWFL Parrot is a free publication, many visitors and displaced Floridians want to keep abreast of current happenings in the area. To get each copy mailed to you, the cost is a mere $45 per year for 12 issues. Mail the above form along with your payment to The SWFL Parrot, 1001 Corporate Ave. Suite 111A North Port, Fl 34289. 'Copyright 2008 by The SWFL Parrot. All rights reserved. Reprint rights must be granted by the publisher. Write us or request reprint permission by email. The Parrot is published monthly and distributed free to our many thousands of loyal DEADLINE: 15th - 5:00PM DISPLAY ADVERTISING Publisher@SWFLparrot.com EDITORIAL: 941.323.4110 Robert@SWFLparrot.com
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1680 El Jobean Rd. Port Charlotte W W W.FlM33948 Y O C E A N PA RT N E R S . C O M
Your Ticket To Paradise www.myoceanpartners.com
Phone: 941-627-OCEAN
May 2011
Fax: 941-627-0423
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Florida May Get...
ida’s Flor
ent District ter tainm n E & e tr Thea
O
The Largest Music & Entertainment District in The World
k readers, cross your fingers on this one. With the help of our own favorite Parrot heads, Robert and Kristen Randolph, Charlotte County could be the home of Florida's and possibly the Nation's coolest Music and Entertainment development ever! The Parrot is delighted to help break some great news. Charlotte County’s Murdock Village Redevelopment Area continues to draw excitement and attention with discussions of a proposal from Main Stage Development LLC, a newly formed business group created by forty year entertainment business veteran Jay Goldberg and partners. This development company was created as your non-typical project development company specializing in music and entertainment projects.
Murdock Village area as a possible development opportunity. As, the idea grew into a larger conceptual plan, Mr. Goldberg quickly assembled a team of experts to perform some of its internal due diligence prior to discussing it with anyone at the County. It was quickly clear that the concept was worth discussing further. Shortly thereafter Main Stage explored some information regarding Murdock Village with help of various county staff members. “Charlotte County staff and Economic and Development team was so helpful in realizing the local opportunity to develop here”, say's Jay Goldberg and his Partners. “It was a pleasure to see how accommodating the local government was to help development investors explore the opportunities in the area.
Imagine a “Build From The Ground Up” complete entertainment district consisting of several unique live theaters placed in a setting reminiscent of an urban multi use district featuring shopping, offices, restaurants, nightclubs, park like green areas and residential living, too. “Our intent is to think “Out Of The Box” and reach out to the entertainment industry professionals and investors to bring star power entertainment to their own theater,” explains Jay Goldberg, managing partner of Main Stage Development, LLC. “In addition to our goal of 8-10 concert theaters, we will also present to the top retail real estate developers and REITs specializing in shopping center concepts with branded retail developments. Add to this the excitement of various attractions, memorabilia displays, restaurants and nightclubs, we will have created a world class tourist and shopping destination!”
Per Mr Goldberg and Partners, It is the objective of Main Stage Development LLC to obtain the legal develop-
Area residents, Robert & Kristen Randolph of “you guessed it Parrot Magazine” was influential in helping bring Mr. Goldberg to the area to look further into the opportunity to develop the entertainment district. Mr. Goldberg had met Kristen and Robert of the Parrot Magazine while in the area promoting other music events. Mr. Goldberg was inquiring about various areas to hold music events when Robert mentioned the
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May 2011
The Parrot
ment rights to approximately 110 acres to allow us the right to begin the due diligence process with a plan to develop an entertainment and theater district. “The amount of jobs and the amount of tourism dollars this development will create is tremendous. Easily over 6,800 new jobs will be created upon completion of the entire district” explains Goldberg. “All of the businesses in this part of SW Florida will see a huge increase if we can bring this
development to fruition”. Of special note, a significant commitment will be to establish a, “Community Contribution Fund” from the entertainment district to support the Charlotte County arts and local theatre groups. Special arrangements will also be made to provide opportunity for community special events. With the announcement of the water Park and the added sports complex activities, a complete entertainment and theater district will be another added component to Charlotte County’s successful future. ONE OF AMERICA’S TOP DESTINATIONS!
For More Information Contact: Jay Goldberg Telephone: 941-404-8595 info@mainstavedevelopment.com Email: info@mainstagedevelopment.com www.mainstagedevelopment.com
The Parrot
May 2011
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“Human Pancake Found in Dessert”
Part
By Key West Honorary Mayor Gonzo Mays
(I have walked a mile high in the sky on the wings of a biplane for the National Enquirer). “Tabloid Reporter Wears Beard of 100,000 Frenzying Bees” (that’s me too!). And, just when I thought my glory days as a stunt person were behind me, here come the latest headlines: “Key West Honorary Mayor Gonzo Fights Evil Queen of the Conch Republic in Giant Key Lime Pie!”
Perhaps in the years to come “Trauma in the Tropics: The Great Key Lime Pie Smack Down” will produce the same legendary results as WOODSTOCK when millions of folks proclaim “I was there!”
Once a young man called Paul Bryant wrestled a bear in Arkansas earning himself the name “The Bear.” In the name of the Conch Republic Foster Children’s Charity I wrestled and defeated an evil queen in a giant pie and boldly defended my name “Gonzo.” The fight raised thousands of dollars for the foster children of the Florida Keys and I ended up with pie in my face, up my nose, in my ears, down my pants, up my crack… [PHOTOS: Elbows T. Mumbler / Video Dave Kay]
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May 2011
The Parrot
Before my wife and I retired to SWFL, we worked hectic hours. We usually worked 6 days a week, so Sunday morning was a good time to relax and enjoy Mimosas, music and have some fun. These drinks are very easy, but very tasty.
Chesapeake Style Bloody Mary I start off by using Zing Zang Bloody Mary mix, but whatever your favorite mix is, use that. Now add a few shakes of Old Bay Seasoning and Hot Pepper flakes. Add some horseradish to taste. Shake with ice, serve with your glass rimmed with Old Bay Seasoning.
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Mango Mimosa Pour Asti Spumante into Fluted Champagne glass. Using a melon baller, scoop 2-3 scoops of Mango Sorbet and gently add it to your glass of Asti.
www.jdsbistroandgrille.com
Cheers...
May 2011
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Twisted Humor
foot fall he took when finishing up a Jan. 26 concert in Australia. He was hospitalized for a brief Seven weeks after he fell off a period before being released stage in Sydney, Australia, Jan. 27, but had to cancel a singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett scheduled concert in New surprised guests at a Florida Zealand to recover from injuries. Keys wedding reception late Saturday evening with three He mentioned the tumble to the songs during an impromptu audience of about 300 wedding concert. guests, saying it was the first time he had performed before any group since the incident.
Buffett peforms at wedding in Keys
Margaritaville Casino to open in Las Vegas
Buffett walked barefooted onto the small stage at the private Sugarloaf Key home of dentist Fred Troxel, who a few hours earlier had exchanged nuptials with Key Wester Rita Brown. He then belted out Van Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” and the Rolling Stones classic “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.” For his finale, Buffett sang his own “Margaritaville,” with some changes in lyrics to cater to the occasion.
The Las Vegas Margaritaville at the Flamingo will be expanding to include its very own branded casino, which will be located near the restaurant in the former Steakhouse 46 location. The casino is scheduled to open in August 2011 (thanks to KruzinParrots and ph4ever for passing that along to us)
Buffett showed no signs of effects from the sudden five-
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A fifty year old woman was at home happily jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, “Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?, What’s the matter with you?” The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, “I don’t care, I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year-old”. The husband said, “What did he say about your 56 year old ass?” “Your name never came up,” she replied. The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. “We’re sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife,” said one trooper. “Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, “We have some bad news, some good news, & some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?” Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay.” “Oh no!” exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?” The trooper continued, “When we pulled her up, she had a dozen 25-pound king crabs & 6 good-size Dungeness crabs clinging to her, & we feel you are entitled to a share in the
May 2011
catch.” Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news?” The trooper said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow.” Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’ Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have service for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’ Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’ Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was Catholic? Donation Father O’Malley answers the phone. ‘Hello, is this Father O’Malley?’‘It is!’ ‘This is the IRS. Can you help us?’ ‘I can!’ ‘Do you know a Ted Houlihan?’ ‘I do!’ ‘Is he a member of your congregation?’ ‘He is!’ ‘Did he donate $10,000 to the church?’ He will.!!!’ An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues: Man: ‘I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday,
The Parrot
Twisted Humor I picked up two college girls, hitch-hiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.’ Priest: ‘Are you sorry for your sins?’ Man: ‘What sins?’ Priest: ‘What kind of a Catholic are you?’ Man: ‘I’m Jewish.’ Priest: ‘Why are you telling me all this?’ Man: ‘I’m 92 years old ..... I’m telling everybody!’
A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’ ‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’
2705 Tamiami Trail • Towles Plaza, Suite 311• Punta Gorda, Fl 33950
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward An elderly man goes a foursome of men playing into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately girl for the night. Surprised, clasped his hands together she looks at the ancient man at his groin, fell to the and asks how old he is. ‘I’m ground and proceeded to roll 90 years old,’ he says. ‘90!’ replies the woman. ‘Don’t you around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, realize you’ve had it?’ ‘Oh, sorry,’ says the old man. ‘How and immediately began to apologize. Please allow me to much do I owe you?’ help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve A woman was having your pain if you’d allow me, a passionate affair with she told him. ‘Oh, no, I’ll be an Irish inspector from a all right. I’ll be fine in a few pest-control company.. One minutes,’ the man replied. He afternoon they were carrying was in obvious agony, lying in on in the bedroom together the fetal position, still clasping when her husband arrived his hands there at his groin. home unexpectedly. At her persistence, however, ‘Quick,’ said the woman he finally allowed her to help. to the lover, ‘into the closet!’ She gently took his hands and she pushed him in the away and laid them to the closet, stark naked. The side, loosened his pants and husband, however, became suspicious and after a search put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful of the bedroom discovered massage for several long the man in the closet.. ‘Who moments and asked, ‘How are you?’ he asked him.. ‘I’m does that feel’? ‘Feels great’ an inspector from Bugs-BGone,’ said the exterminator. he replied ‘but I still think my ‘What are you doing in there?’ thumb’s broken!’ the husband asked.. ‘I’m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,’ the man replied. ‘And where are your clothes?’ asked the husband. The man looked down at himself and said, ‘Those little bastards!’..
The Parrot
May 2011
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May 2011
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Days of May 1 May Day 2 Brothers and Sisters Day 3 Lumpy Rug Day 4 Bird Day (aka Parrot Day) 5 Cinco de Mayo 5 National Hoagie Day 6 Beverage Day 6 International Tuba Day 6 No Diet Day 7 National Tourism Day 8 No Socks Day 9 Lost Sock Memorial Day 10 Clean up Your Room Day 11 Eat What You Want Day 12 International Nurses Day 13 Blame Someone Else Day 13 Friday the 13th 14 Dance Like a Chicken Day 15 National Choc.Chip Day 16 Love a Tree Day 16 National Sea Monkey Day 17 Pack Rat Day 18 No Dirty Dishes Day 19 Boy’s Club Day 20 Be a Millionaire Day 20 National Bike to Work Day 21 Armed Forces Day 21 National Memo Day 21 Natl. Waiters & Waitresses Day 22 Buy a Musical Instrument 23 Lucky Penny Day 24 National Escargot Day 25 Tap Dance Day 26 Sally Ride Day 27 Sun Screen Day 28 Amnesty International Day 30 International Jazz Day 31 World No Tobacco Day
www.chphc.com Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose Hey Charlotte Harbor Parrotheads, what tiiiiiime is it? It’s time to help plan our most wonderful Birthday Party. Yep, we’ll be FOUR over Labor Day weekend and it takes a lot of volunteers to pull off one of the bestest shin-digs around. Whether you chair a committee or just volunteer an hour or two over the weekend to help with selling raffles ticket or registration, we need you!! Please get with our VP Jerry York and sign up to help. You promised when you joined our wonderful club!! At our meeting on April 12th we were serenaded
by John Reno, with a little assistance towards the end from Mr. John Patti. There was quite a crowd out, lots of new members. Willis held a “searching for Finland” contest and unfortunately the participation was dismal. Fortunate for Candie Huetteman, who was dressed supporting the Space Shuttle
Drive By Shooting
be the Membership Director who knows all the names and all the faces…just not necessarily at the same time.What do you call a Parrothead drowning in Helmans? Sinko de Mayo! Ok, that was terrible. Still never understood
why America celebrates a Mexican holiday…and I use that term loosely. Even Mexico isn’t all that impressed with themselves for kicking France’s ass. I mean, its France for goodness sake. I guess it’s just a good excuse for PHs to drink Corona. Our meeting in May will bring in the likes of James “Sunny Jim” White (and maybe a friend or two)…he does tend to draw a crowd. We will also be collecting items for the troops in May & June. Check the weekly e-mails for specifics. And keep those pop-tops, cans and pill bottles coming. I look at the boxes full of pill bottles each meeting and get very concerned for the health and well-being of our members. We pull in a LOT of pill bottles…hmmm.
has stepped down but did a fabulous job of it. And thanks to Squid for taking his place. I am sure we will see some fancy shit coming out of Squid’s computer. But Ken’s not going anywhere. Ken and Greg Vogel are taking over the Social Director position as Willis Adams is also stepping down to take a well deserved break. He, along with wife Carol, did a most spectacular job, especially with the holiday parties. Be sure to buy them a drink next time you see them.Ok, that’s it for now. Our website is www.chphc.com. If you want to join this crazy club you can print out an app
and mail it to our NEW PO Box 474, Englewood, 342950474 or join us at the next meeting, the second Tuesday of the month at the Coral Rock Tiki Bar (NE corner of Kings Hwy & US41). Some folks start getting there around 5:30, and the “official stuff” starts around 6:00. Hope to see you there. And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been”.
BTW, we have to have a teeeeeeeam drink for the following gentlemen who have taken time out of their (mostly) busy lives to work their asses off for this club. Ken Cook, who did our weekly e-mail newsletter. He Columbia, as she won the contest. Woo! And we did hold a 50/50 drawing and the winner ran off with $240… literally. I tried to follow her to get a name but couldn’t manage to find her. Sorry about that. Yours truly might
The Parrot
May 2011
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May 2011
The Parrot
Voted Best Trop-Rock Venue! 3 Years Running! #1
Twisted Humor Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast Hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, ‘Happy Birthday!’, And possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, He barely said good morning, Let alone ‘ Happy Birthday.’ I thought.... Well, that’s marriage for you, But the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfasts And didn’t say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, My handsome Boss Rick, said, ‘Good Morning, lady, And by the way Happy Birthday! ‘ It felt a little better That at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o’clock , When Rick knocked on my door And said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day outside, And it is your Birthday, What do you say we go out to lunch, Just you and me..’ I said, ‘Thanks, Rick, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!’ We went to lunch. But we didn’t go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro With a private table. We had two martinis each And I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Rick said, ‘You know, It’s such a beautiful day... We don’t need to go straight back to the office, Do We?’ I responded, ‘I guess not. What do you have in mind?’ He said, ‘Let’s drop by my place, it’s just around the corner.’ After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom For just a moment. I’ll be right back.’ ‘Ok.’ I nervously replied. He went into the bedroom and, After a couple of minutes, He came out Carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my husband My kids, and dozens of my friends
The Parrot
and co-workers, all singing ‘Happy Birthday’. And I just sat there....On the couch.........Naked. Two little old ladies, Dorace & Jackie were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress. The short one, Jackie leaned over and said, ‘Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10.00 I’d take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show!’ ‘You’re on!’ said Dorace, holding up a $10.00 note. So Jackie slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show. Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. Finally, the smiling Jackie came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd. ‘What happened?’ asked her waiting friend. ‘I won $1,000 as 1st prize for ‘Best Dried Arrangement!’
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Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau Tourism is Everyone’s Business in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands By Jennifer A. Huber, Charlotte Harbor Visitor & Convention Bureau
Baseball has the World Series, Discovery Channel has Shark Week and tourism has National Travel & Tourism Week. During the week of May 7 – 15, 2011, the positive benefits of tourism for our economy will be amplified with proclamations, celebrations, and events throughout the United States. Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands will be participating too, but rather than the traditional
luncheon, we’ll be demonstrating the good tourism does for Charlotte County in a different way. At publication time, details are being finalized and I can’t share but keep your eyes and ears open. I can tell you tourism is serious business for Charlotte County. We welcome nearly 300,000 visitors annually who leave behind, err, spend $313 million in direct and indirect expenditures each year. Plus, tourism supports more than 6,000 local jobs. There’s no need to go out and kiss a tourist this month (unless you know them really well) to show you support for tourism. The best thing you could do is dine out, visit a local attraction, shop, or even book a weekend getaway in one of our popular accommodations. When doing so, be sure to thank the staff for the work they do in welcoming and accommodating our visitors throughout the year. Front desk clerks, wait staff, cashiers, boat captains, housekeepers…I could go on and on in listing those who work in the tourism industry but won’t, this column isn’t long enough. These people are vital in making tourism successful in Charlotte County and their efforts are appreciated. Hotel of the Year is Right Here! There’s no need to travel far to stay in a top hotel because
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there’s an award-winning hotel in downtown Punta Gorda. Starwood Hotels has presented Four Points by Sheraton Punta Gorda Harborside with its most prestigious honor, the “Starwood North America 2010 Four Points Hotel of the Year” award. The hotel has also earned Starwood’s “Highest Ranking Guest Service Score for the Four Points by Sheraton Brand” and “2010 Overall TripAdvisor Ranking for all Four Points by Sheraton Brand.” Take a Bite Out of This… The Guy Harvey Ultimate Shark Challenge Tournament and Festival will debut at Laishley Park May 13 – 15. Laishley Crab House is hosting the shark-release tournament that combines cutting-edge science with competitive big-game sport fishing. Mote Marine Laboratory’s Center for Shark Research is USC’s chief science and research partner. The festival takes place Saturday and Sunday (May 14 and 15) at Laishley Park. Event sponsors will conduct product demonstrations and giveaways and a wide variety of merchant vendors and unique attractions,
May 2011
such as Mote’s Mobile Aquarium, will be on display, along with shark-centric exhibits, interactive demonstrations and delicious food and cold beverages. Admission into this familyfriendly festival is free Guy Harvey, world-renowned marine artist, conservationist and tournament partner, will make a personal appearance during the weekend to meet with fans and promote the tournament’s shared mission. Visit www. UltimateSharkChallenge.com for a schedule of events. See you around and check out www.CharlotteHarborTravel.com for a list of things to do in see
in Charlotte Harbor & the Gulf Islands. Don’t forget to like us on Facebook.com/charlotteharbor and tweet with us at Twitter.com/ chgiflorida.
The Parrot
2011ocean@gmail.com
1680 El Jobean Rd. Port Charlotte Fl 33948
Neighbor’s Bar & Grill
Great
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“Where you will always find excellent food, good times & great people”!
Charlotte County
Check Out Our Tiki Bar!!!
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May 2011
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t u O & t u o Ab
The Bone Shakers!!!
Roger Buis Flying Otto, At The Fl International Air Show
www.swflparrot.com
The Boca Grande Prix
New 2011 Ponce Dick Wells And His Lady Sheila
Brad, Kelly, And Ed From Ocean Real Estate At Visani Comedy Club
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Who knew Buffett tailgating could get you wet??
May 2011
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Block Party After Party Tamiami Bar!! Its A Tradition!
The Blues Brothers At Giving Hunger The Blues
www.swflparrot.com
Tamiami Bar - Where The Party Never Ends!!
Team Parrot at the Boca Grande Prix - Nice Hand!
The Parrot
Swamp Donkie At The Boca Grande Prix After Party. Photo by: Photographic Images
At Mooseheads For A Great Smoke And Some Fun Reading!
May 2011
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Sunday 1st Danny Beach – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Galaxy – Nav-A-Gator ~ 1-4:30pm Trio De Janeiro – Lock N Key ~ 4-8pm Jack Mosley – Nav-AGator Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 2-6pm Swamp Donkie – Clancy’s/Bradenton ~ 5-9pm Monday 2nd Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Elton John & Rod Stewart Tribute Show – Visani’s ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 4th Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8pm Thursday 5th Gary & Kerri – Nav-AGator ~ 6-9pm The Yard Dogs – Cape Coral Yacht Club Pavilion ~ 6pm Jeff Hughes – Flounders ~ 5-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30pm Friday 6th Those Guys – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Charlie K. – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pm Reconnections Band – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Jack Mosley – Ali-Gators
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Live Music Schedule
May ~ 7-11pm Gary & Kerri – Moose Lodge/Pine Island ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 2-6pm Saturday 7th Paul Cottrell – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Those Guys – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Swamp Donkie – Nav-A-
Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8pm Thursday 12th Jim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pm Charlie K. – Scuttlebutts ~ 6:30pm Jeff Hughes – Flounders ~ 5-9pm Sunny Jim – Farlow’s on the Water ~ 6-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30pm Friday 13th Gator ~ 2-5pm Beau & Becca – Swamp Donkie – Dean’s Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm South of the Border ~ Slick Willy – Harpoon 7-11pm Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Charlie K. – Twisted John Frinzi – Nav-AConch ~ 6:30pm Gator ~ 6-9pm Beans & Seeds – Tropical Ave. – Sharky’s ~ Fishermen’s Village ~ 8-Mid 5-9pm Kraig Kenning – Sunday 8th Fishermen’s Village ~ Mike Hirst – Waterside 5-9pm Grill ~ 1-4pm Swamp Donkie – SKOB ~ Shawn Brown & Rick 8pm Rhenberg – Nav-A-Gator Saturday 14th ~ 2-5pm Kenny Rose – Waterside Jack Mosley – The Linger Grill ~ 1-4pm Lodge/Bradenton ~ Slick Willy – Harpoon 4-7pm Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Monday 9th Jack Mosley – Nav-ACharlie K. – Woody’s Gator ~ 2-5pm Waterside ~ 6pm The Yard Dogs – Wednesday 11th Fishermen’s Village ~
May 2011
5-9pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pm Gary & Kerri – Farlows on the Water ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – Flounders ~ 7-11pm Sunday 15th Paul Cottrell – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm J.P. Wild – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar ~ 2-6pm Swamp Donkie – Clancy’s/Bradenton ~ 5-9pm Monday 16th Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Tuesday 17th Elvis Tribute Show – Visani’s ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 18th Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm Swamp Donkie – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 8pm Thursday 19th Jeff Hughes – Flounders ~ 5-9pm Jack Mosley – Gatorz ~ 5-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30pm
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John Patti – Royal Palm Marina ~ 6pm Friday 20th Paul Cottrell – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm Tropical Ave. – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Destined – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Sunny Jim – Linger Lodge/Bradenton ~ 7-10pm Gary & Kerri – Farlow’s on the Water ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 8pm Saturday 21st John Fremont – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Tropical Ave. – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am The Yard Dogs – Miceli’s ~ 6:30pm Doo-Wop Crew – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Gary & Kerri – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7-11pm Sunday 22nd Beans & Seeds – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Jack Mosley – Nav-AGator ~ 2-5pm Trio De Janeiro – Lock N Key ~ 4-8pm Monday 23rd Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Tuesday 24th Roy Orbison Tribute Show – Visani’s ~ 7:30pm Wednesday 25th Beau & Becca – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 6:30pm Swamp Donkie – Dean’s South of the Border ~
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Live Music Schedule
May 8pm Thursday 26th Jim Morris – Nav-A-Gator ~ 6-9pm Charlie K. – Scuttlebutts ~ 6:30pm Jeff Hughes – Flounders ~ 5-9pm The Crashers Trio – Dean’s South of the Border ~ 7:30pm
6:30-9:30pm John Patti – Royal Palm Marina ~ 6pm Saturday 28th Mike Hirst – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Soul Machine – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Latitude – Nav-A-Gator ~ 2-5pm The Yard Dogs – Stump Pass Grille ~ 3pm Tropical Ave. – White Elephant Pub ~ 7-11pm Montage – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Gary & Kerri – Bert’s Bar
Friday 27th Kenny Rose – Waterside Grill ~ 6-9pm Soul Machine – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 9-12:30am Charlie K. – Bubba’s Roadhouse ~ 8:30pm Tropical Ave. – Joe Cracker ~ 8-Mid Southern Express – Fishermen’s Village ~ 5-9pm Swamp Donkie – SKOB ~ 2-6pm Swamp Donkie – McCabe’s/Bradenton ~
May 2011
~ 7:30-11pm Swamp Donkie – Ice House Pub ~ 7-10pm Sunday 29th John Fremont – Waterside Grill ~ 1-4pm Swamp Donkie – Nav-AGator ~ 2-5pm The Yard Dogs – Bert’s Bar ~ 2pm Trio De Janeiro – Lock N Key ~ 4-8pm Jack Mosley – Flounders ~ 1-5pm Monday 30th The Crashers – Harpoon Harry’s ~ 1-5pm Gary & Kerri – Nav-AGator ~ 2-5pm Charlie K. – Woody’s Waterside ~ 6pm Jeff Hughes – Englewood Elks ~ 1-4pm * Times and dates are subject to change.
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Featured Band
By Sharie Derrickson
Gibson Cage Local musician could have the X Factor Southwest Florida rocker Gibson Cage may soon be on his way to the big stage in front of one of the world’s most renowned and blistering judges of music.After waiting in line in Miami April 7 with more than 7500 other hopefuls, Cage, who competed under his given name Chris Richardson, was given the golden ticket to move on to the next round of auditions for the upcoming television show The X Factor, headed up by American Idol’s Simon Cowell.
ticket that signified he would move on to the next day’s audition, “I said, ‘Really?’” and then in rocker fashion, he through his fist in the air. “I just couldn’t believe it.” The next morning, Cage arrived at the BankUnited Center at 5 a.m. and waited in the hot Miami sun until he was ushered into the center to try to “wow” the judges once again. This time, the audition was more personal and there was not a crowd. “They told me to sing what I had the day before so I sang Cotton Field again,” he said laughing. “Apparently, I did well enough to make it to sing for the producers that same day. By this time, I was shocked because there was so much talent around me.” Later in the afternoon, he sang in front of producers the new show that will air in the fall.
“It was a trip. We were put in booths in the BankUnited Center in Miami with about 7500 people around us. I knew it was going to be hard for the judges to hear since there were 19 other people singing in booths near me. But I have a strong voice and gave them my all.” Cage sang the song Cotton Field acapella off his album Diamond Company. “I sang one of my own songs because that is where my heart is invested and I wanted them to see my heart as well as hear my music.” When he was given the golden
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“I was nervous, but sang Cotton Field with no music and no mic. They asked me if I had written it and I told them I did and they seemed impressed. I joked with them that I told my friends to keep the car running -- there is no way I am going to make it through this so I will be right out -- and one of the judges joked back that the car must have been running a long time,” Cage said.
what happens next. But, if I make it in front of Simon Cowell, I will also be singing in front of a packed crowd of thousands. That is my understanding. It is done differently than how it is done on American Idol where you sing in front of Simon Cowell and the other judges in a small room. This will be in front of a large audience with cameras and all of America watching.” Cage said he tried out for the show as a solo artist to try and bring more attention to the music scene of Southwest Florida and to represent original artists. “There are many of us out there that are doing our own music and our area is full of great musicians. I guess while this is good for my career and my band, it also sheds some light on all of us out there that are trying to make music and the value our original music has. For me, it is all about the Rock and Roll,” he laughed. After the audition, Cage went to the Pepsi tent to have a 360 degree photo shoot that people can go to and vote for. “That was fun and people are going to the site and clicking on five stars because I jumped like I didn’t know I could. Today, the photo is at number one -that could change -- but it has been fun rallying everyone to vote.”
“I am now a contender for the show,” he said. “Very few made it out of there with the red ticket. It was brutal. I felt so bad as the cuts was huge and many many great singers got sent home.”
When asked why he thought he had made it this far, the Port Charlotte singer spoke with humility. “I am still amazed. I am not sure other than I sang from the heart, I sang loud, and I look like a rocker with all this hair,” he laughed.
“I was told I would be contacted. They are very closed lipped about
“Whatever happens from here, I know I didn’t get here alone. I
have a great advisor and mentor, Helene McRoberts, who has been in my corner through thick and thin, a wonderful band -- a shout out to Chris Corridino, Lanny Shirmer, Sean Bryan, and Donny Haight, friends that have encouraged me, and God who blessed me with this talent that I have to use wisely. I am not sure if all that adds up to the X Factor, but I am sure going to give it my best shot.
May 2011
Fans can keep up with Gibson Cage or book him by visiting www.reverbnation.com/ gibsoncage, by Facebook at http://www.facebook. com/#!/profile. php?id=100000988165008, or search Facebook for Gibson Cage, and http://social-gen.com/pepsicoxf/index-v.php?u=f2D5 to vote for his Pepsi photo.
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Jodi White
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Mike Merryfield Lisa Corrao The Comedy Zone starts at 8PM
May 2011
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Twisted Times
WORLD EXCLUSIVE: FL SNOWBIRDS TO NEED ENTRY/EXIT VISAS
Policy analysts at a leading Florida think tank close to the Governor are furiously working on draft legislation to limit when, where, and in what numbers “snowbirds” may enter the Sunshine state every fall and later leave every spring, The Parrot can reveal in a worldwide exclusive. “Recent Pacific earthquake activity and tsunamis plus the building of enormous dams in China are putting the very tilt of the axis of the earth at a critically steep tipping point” explained Tampa Bay State University astrophysics professor Hiaasen Starr. “It is imperative that the massive influx and exodus of snowbirds be spread out, or we could be very rapidly spinning out of control” he cautioned. His tilt research laboratory grant renewal is due to be considered next week in Tallahassee. Analysts, according to some sources close to the Governor and The Parrot, are looking to even out this potentially world-threatening mega-migration pattern through an integrated web and market-based system of entry and exit visas all monitored by miniature cameras on freeway signs and computer chips. “It’s a lot like running an airport” explained one insider who asked to remain anonymous. “Only a limited number of planes may land or take off in a given period and there’s a charge for each activity – so it will be for out of state drivers to pay in order to enter and later depart. Just think of Florida as a long giant runway and you’ll understand”. Commercial firms, undertakers, and residents of Florida border communities will be exempt. Autos brought in by container ship will also enter free of charge as their slow movement is no threat. However payment “avoidance” (borderline legal) and “evasion” (definitely illegal) schemes are clearly anticipated as the draft legislation will include a special AVOISION helicopter task force. Retired Afghanistan war veterans are to be recruited. “This will be a piece of cake” commented a Veterans official spokesman. “Compared to the towel-heads, the
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Q-tips will be a walkover”.
For global-weight optimal-distribution issues a limited number of visas will be issued for each hour of every day throughout the migratory season. Snowbirds will need to identify their exact time of entry to the hour and six months ahead of time, go to the new website, and pay $125 plus FL sales tax for each visa, both entry and exit. Once payment has been processed and a lengthy form completed (including sexual orientation), entry/exit chips will be sent to the points of departure for each journey. A State Highway Patrol officer told The Parrot “this will be so easy to police and the fines will be a welcome source of new revenue”. He anticipated many vehicles missing their hour-long slot and thus incurring fines of hundreds of dollars. However the proposal does have its doubters even opponents. The Civil Liberties Association of America (CLAA) was reportedly divided at its recent board meeting between a faction of “environmental absolutists” and “civil rights supremacists”. The Canadian Embassy refused to comment as its Cabinet was in emergency session with head of state Queen Elizabeth II attending by conference call. Meanwhile Professor Ron Bordeaux of southern VA’s James Mason University has emerged as the leader of a growing group of earth-tilt-tipping-point skeptics. In an e-mail letter to the Editor of The Parrot he wrote: “This is subsidy-seeking, data-mining, scare-mongering, at its worst. It is no coincidence that this story hits the press just as Professor Starr’s tax-payerfunded lab-grant is up for multi-year renewal”, he concluded. As The Parrot went to press late (as staff dug for more leads) the outcome was evenly balanced. Have your say at TwistedTimes@
swflparrot.com
www.facebook.com/pages/Bonnies-Birds/104976619546186
“John Blundell’s latest book is Margaret Thatcher - A Portrait of the Iron Lady (Algora, NYC)”.
May 2011
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“Your”Chamber By John Wright
“Your” Chamber of Commerce in Punta Gorda May is here, the temperature is rising and the Punta Gorda Chamber will start of month with its first-ever Cinco de Mayo Margarita Tour on (surprisingly) Cinco de Mayo aka May 5th! The tour will include twelve of Punta Gorda’s bar and restaurants, at each of which you will receive a sample of their special margarita drink and a Mexican appetizer. Then you hop on the trolley and go to the next one, selecting your spot to enjoy dinner and a full beverage when your schedule allows. Once you have visited all 12 participants, you get to vote on your favorite margarita and your favorite appetizer and the winning restaurant will receive a trophy and bragging rights for a full year! Tickers are limited and can be purchased ahead of the event in the online payment center of www. puntagordachamber.com Buen viaje a todo! Feliz fiesta! Also of note in May is the annual Punta Gorda Hibiscus Festival, which will again appear in Gilchrist park, Punta Gorda on the evening of Friday May 20th and all day Saturday May 21st. There will be live music, food vendors, plants, merchandise and a market – the proceeds of which all go to benefit the Good Samaritans of Charlotte County. Yours truly has been asked to by the Hibiscus King and to launch the proceedings, which includes the little Miss Hibiscus Pageant and much more. Mark your calendars to swing
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by and enjoy the festivities. The Chamber also is operating its last combo trolley and boat tours of the season on May 3rd and 17th. For $20, you get a guided tour of the city about the trolley, followed by a one hour leisurely cruise up river to visit the ecodelights of charlotte Harbor. Call 941 639 3720 to reserve your seat. The Guy Harvey Ultimate Shark Challenge Tournament and Festival returns to Southwest Florida by making its Punta Gorda, Fla., debut May 13 - 15, 2011, at Laishley Park. The
tournament, hosted by Laishley Crab House (www.laishleycrabhouse. com), combines the allure of competitive big-game sport fishing with cuttingedge science, practical conservation principles and informative entertainment. It is quickly becoming an industry leader and model for the next generation of shark-release tournaments. Teams will be competing for $15,000 in cash and prizes as they fish Charlotte Harbor and the Gulf of Mexico. The Ultimate Shark Challenge festival at Laishley Park on Saturday and Sunday will complement the competition by broadcasting highlights on digital displays. Event
sponsors will conduct product demonstrations and giveaways and a wide variety of merchant vendors and unique attractions, such as Mote’s Mobile Aquarium, will be on display, along with shark-centric exhibits, interactive demonstrations and delicious food and cold beverages. Admission into this family-friendly festival is free. Additional information about the 2011 Guy Harvey Ultimate Shark Challenge Tournament and Festival including team registration, sponsorship opportunities and festival vendor inquiries, can be found on the event’s website www.
UltimateSharkChallenge.com. For a full listing of events as well as to search for our approved Chamber members’ details, please visit www. puntagordachamber.com The events and calendar link is a great page, but also visit the Friday Facts link – this is a weekly e-news publication which you can sign up for FREE, so that the latest and most up-to-date information on everything that is going on in both the City and the Chamber can be emailed to you every week. You’ll never be out of the loop again!
Florida and making our city one of their favorite stops. We noticed so much traffic that we are now working with a Broward County-based publication to distribute French “journaux” that are Florida travel guides directed at the Quebec market. These newspapers have a lot of information about Southwest Florida that include great opportunities for us to promote Punta Gorda to a new market. With the success of this initiative, we have also added Spanish and German translations to our homepage so that international travelers can explore our site and gather information in their own tongues. As we continue to expand our direct airline service from Punta Gorda airport, we have some great opportunities to extend “season” and make Punta Gorda a year-long destination. If you are a visitor, thanks for being here. If you are a resident, congratulations – you chose very well!
Drive By Shooting
Punta Gorda has really enjoyed a great winter season this year. We are thrilled to have seen so many Canadian visitors both returning to
May 2011
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May 2011
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Jeff Hughes & (15) Band “The Yard ___” (4) Cindy Walsh sings “Headin out to _______” (8) May birthstone. (7) John Reno song “Sheila ______” (7) Where the fun starts! (10) Jack Mosley song “____ on the water” (4) Kiss my......”_______ ______” (12)
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Hair Salon “Tropical ________” (6) Kelly McGuire CD “_________ ________” (2 words) (14) Voted #1 Trop Rock Venue for 3 years! (9) “Sunny _____” (3) Local Steel Drum player. (10) Toes in the _______ (5) Song “What you gonna do for _______” (5) Singer of “It’s a Nav-a-gator Afternoon” (10) Sings “If I had a hommock” (12) The best hour of the day. (5) Local Artist Rick ________ (8) Cheap beer. (5)
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May 2011
The Parrot
First Drink On The Parrot
Twisted Humor Class Assignment The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?” The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: “Well, I guess you’ll have to learn to write with your other hand.” Barack Obama met with the Queen of England. He asked her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?” “Well,” said the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” Obama frowned, and then asked, “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?” The Queen took a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?” Tony Blair walked into the room and said, “Yes, my Queen?” The Queen smiled and said, “Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?” Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, “That would be
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me.” “Yes! Very good,” said the Queen. Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president the same question. “Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?” “I’m not sure,” said Biden. “Let me get back to you on that one...” He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the men’s room and recognized Colin Powell’s shoes in the next stall. Biden asked Powell, “Colin, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Colin Powell yelled back, “That’s easy, it’s me!” Biden smiled, and said, “Thanks!” Then, he went back to speak with Obama. “Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell!” Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, “No! you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”
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May 2011
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Hey Tampa Bay Parrotheads, what tiiiiiiiime is it? It’s time for summer and a busy ass next five months. When will we find time to go to the job we get paid for?? But first, let’s recap.
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April was busy, busy, busy. Had a great time at Quaker Steak & Lube for the SMC pre-concert fundraiser with Jimmy Parrish and the Ocean Waves. Unfortunately I didn’t receive confirmation on the amount raised, but yours truly was one number off one of the many excellent
www.swflparrot.com Page 32
May 2011
raffle prizes…damn it!! Great job Loni and gang! Pre-concert party at Skipper’s with many of the Coral Reefers on 4/15, Buffett concert was on 4/16 with all the tailgating festivities, beach clean up on 4/23 along with our regular Wednesday meetings on 4/6 and 4/20. Whew! Many clubs celebrate Cinco de Mayo…we celebrate “Sinko de Mikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”. His birthday is 5/5 and seeing how our first meeting in May in 5/4 I am sure there will be festivities. As far as the “sinko” part goes, let’s just say Mike always enjoys his birthday!
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mon-Sat 10am-7pm Sun. noon-4pm
Tampa Bay Parrot Heads in Paradise Club Written by Charlotte Lanier aka Charlie Rose We are holding the annual Pig Roast on Saturday May 21st at Kahuna’s. Music by Tropical Brain Freeze. Always a good time and a great way to support Tampa Bay Watch. And mark your calendars for a concert at The Yard on 5/14 with Jimmy Parrish and
the Ocean Waves. The Yard is the world’s best venue for house parties, literally. Just ask the Margarita MAFIA! TBPH is also planning a day at the Rays on 5/28. Stayed tuned because they way they are playing the tickets just might be free. Ok, that was mean. Don’t forget to get signed up for Sarasota’s 15th Birthday Bash on June 10-12. Go to www. sbphc.com for more info and the registration form. They have a fabulous musical line up again this year including Jim Asbell and the Tropiholics and it’s always a blast. Yours truly already has her room and confirmation number J In June there is also the Palm Harbor Parrothead Street Fest on 6/4 and the first raft up of the year on 6/25 at Beer Can Island along with our two regular Wednesday meetings. July brings
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up the Shark Tooth Hunt in Venice on 7/22-23. August is a little light on activities for now, but I am sure there will probably be an off-site get together or another raft up.
Be sure to note that our 17th Birthday Party weekend in on September 16th-18th (a little later than usual). And if you have the time and the money you don’t want to miss the Charlotte Harbor 4th BDP over Labor Day weekend. Details on most of this coming soon to magazine near you.
meantime you need to join us at our next Parrothead meeting. You can find us at Whiskey Joe’s (on the Tampa causeway next to the public parking for Ben T. Davis beach) on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of the month. Check out the e-mails or our website at www.finsup.com for more details about the club or any of our upcoming events (click on the “Calendar” banner and go to the month in which you need info). And remember, “Wrinkles only go where the smiles have been.” Roving Photographer Jersey Jim Tizzano
Ok, I think that’s it for now. In the
May 2011
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Tampa Bay is Celebration Central I’ve said it before, but Tampa Bay knows how to celebrate. Those who visit the Tampa Bay area (and especially those who live here) know that there’s always a party or celebration to take part in, no matter what time of year it is. May in Tampa Bay is no exception, and we are going to bring you some of the best events, parties and reasons to get out and enjoy Tampa Bay. You’ll be glad you didn’t miss these, trust me. Major League Baseball is
back in full swing, and fans are flocking to Tropicana Field to see the Tampa Bay Rays in action. In addition to the on-field excitement, the Rays Summer Concert Series keeps the action going well past the game. On May 14, the Ray are going headto-head with the Baltimore Orioles at 4:10pm. But, stick around after the last out to see Darius Rucker rock the house. Rucker is known to many for his time as the lead singer for Hootie and the Blowfish – I’ll let everyone say “ah hah” now!
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Well, in 2008, Rucker burst onto the country music scene with his chart topping album Learn to Live, which led him to the podium with a CMA for Best New Artist in 2009. The Charleston, SC native recently released an album that paid homage to his hometown and southern roots. Charleston, SC 1966 is currently climbing the charts with the lead single “Come Back Song.” But if the crack of the bat and country music isn’t for you, don’t worry, we’ve got more! Families with children unite and get ready to enjoy. Have you heard the Buzz? Toy Story 3, the smash-hit boxoffice sensation, is so hot it’s cool as everyone’s favorite toys take to the ice in Disney On Ice presents Disney•Pixar’s Toy Story 3! I can say this since I’m completely comfortable being the type of man that I am, but I have been to several Disney On Ice performances in my time and they are AWESOME. This performance promises to be even better. It’ll be at the St. Pete Times Forum in downtown Tampa from May 19-22, so start making your plans. Now, of course, there’s one question that I know everyone is asking – where do we
spend Cinco de Mayo? Well, let me give you a list of places around town to make sure you consider when making your plans: Estella’s – whether you’re in Brandon, St. Petersburg or on Davis Islands, you’ll be glad you stopped by this traditional Mexican restaurant for a margarita and some delicious fare. Miguel’s Mexican Seafood & Grill – this Tampa staple has been around for quite some time. I have been to Miguel’s quite a few times, and I’ve never left disappointed. Algusto Mexican Restaurant – this gem on Kennedy Boulevard near downtown Tampa is something every resident and visitor should experience. Mema’s Alaskan Tacos – even if it’s only a stop on your way to explore the rest of historic Ybor City, make sure you stop
May 2011
in and see what the fuss is all about. The Columbia Restaurant – everyone knows The Columbia, and everyone love The Columbia. So, why not stop in and see the professionals at work! I wish I could go on and on and tell you about all of the amazing options for you in Tampa Bay. Alas, we have come to the end. But, we’ve worked hard to provide a central location to find that information. You’ll want to head over to www. VisitTampaBay.com to take a look at those events and start planning your weekend out!
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Sunday 1st, SUNRISE KIWANIS FUNDRAISER at the Nav-A-Gator. Please bring shoes for donations. Sunday 1st, NUCLEAR BOMBSHELLS VS. OCALA CANNIBALS the Bradentucky Bombers’ will take on the Ocala Cannibals at 7pm. at Astro Skate in Bradenton. Proceeds from the bout will go to a local charity (TBA). For more info visit www. bradentuckybombers.org Sunday 1st, WWE EXTREME RULES at the St. Pete Times Forum at 7:45pm. For ticket info visit www.stpetetimesforum.com Sunday 1st, 33RD ANNUAL SIESTA FIESTA at Siesta Key. Stroll along the beach as you take in art from 250 of the nation’s most talented artists & crafters. Sunday 1st, PUNTA GORDA REDFISH FESTIVAL at the Laishley Park. Tuesday 3rd, LIVE MUSIC WITH ELTON JOHN AND ROD STEWART TRIBUTE SHOW AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte at 7:30pm. For more information visit www. visani.net Wednesday 4th-8th, LIVE COMEDY WITH ROGER KEISS THE MIDNIGHT SWINGER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For more info visit www.visani.net Thursday 5th, CINCO DE MAYO MARGARITA TROLLEY TOUR IN PUNTA GORDA Join the Punta Gorda Chamber on a 12 stop tour of local bars & restaurants around our city in celebration of this day. Check in at the Chamber at 4:30pm. At each stop, you’ll enjoy a unique sample margarita & appetizer include in the price of your tour & vote for your favorite! Fee is $20/
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MAY EVENTS person and must be 21 yrs old. For more information visit www.puntagordachamber. com, and to purchase tickets in advance. Limit to 250 people. Thursday 5th, HANDS UP CHARITY PRESENTS 7TH ANNUAL CINCO DE BAYOU at the Cape Coral Yacht Club Pavilion at 5819 Driftwood Pky at 6pm. Starring The Yard Dogs, Strange Arrangement and Tequila Tom. A benefit concert to assist people suffering from paralysis. No coolers or beer. Food will be served. A special set dedicated to “Baker Buddies” from Ida Baker High School. Price is $5 or $10 at door. Visit www.handsupcharity.org Thursday 5th, MUSEUM OF ART & CIRCUS MUSEUM PRESENTS ART AFTER 5: COCKTAILS & OBSERVATIONS every Thursday from 5-8pm. Enjoy the Museum of Art permanent collection and special exhibition galleries, cocktails and great conversation on the loggia. Bring the family and explore the Circus Museum’s miniature circus and Wisconsin railroad car. After hours discounted admission are adults are $10, children ages 6-17 are $5, and under 5 are free. For more info go to www.ringling.org Saturday 7th, FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-togo, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flow-
ers & potted plants and creative demonstrations & performers. Come One Come All! Saturday 7th & 8th, FINE ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 10-6pm on Sat.& 12-5pm on Sun. Presented by TNT Events. All handmade juried work including pottery, jewelry, ceramics and fine art. For more info call 352-344-0657. Saturday 7th, PUNTA GORDA SPEEDAY – Goodyear Late model 100 6 pack series #3, TQ Midgets, road warriors, pro 4, fab 4, super stocks, and mini stocks. For more information visit us at www.puntagordaspeedway.com Saturday 7th, SARASOTA’S FARMERS MARKET EVERY SATURDAY from 7am to Noon. On Lemon Ave. & Main Street. Rain or Shine. Visit www.sarasotadowntown.com for more details. Saturday 7th, CRUIZIN’ ON DEARBORN from 5-8pm in Englewood. Oldtime Cars-and oldtime tunes. Hundreds of old car enthusiasts and scores of old car brighten Dearborn Street. Music will flood the street and most restaurants and shops are open late! For more info visit our website at www.oldeenglewood.com Saturday 7th, VENICE FARMERS MARKET in Centennial Park Downtown from 8am-Noon. Every Saturday. Local produce, plants, flowers, imported oils, pastries and so much more. Saturday 7th, SIESTA KEY AMATEUR SAND SCULPTURE CONTEST On the beach, children and adults can compete in this free event for cash prizes. Registration begins at 8:30am.
May 2011
Tuesday 10th, DIVA AND THE “ITALIAN GUY” AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time at 7:30pm. For more information visit www. visani.net Wednesday 11th-14th, LIVE COMEDY WITH TIM STATUM/PAUL STRICKLAND AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times visit www. visani.net Friday 13th, 2011 GUY HARVEY ULTIMATE SHARK CHALLENGE TOURNAMENT AND FESTIVAL at Laishley Park. The tournament combines the allure of competitive big game sport fishing with cuttingedge science, practical conservation principles and informative entertainment. Saturday 14th, POKER RUN FOR CHARITY benefiting Veterans Helping Hands, SWFL Outreach Ministry, and Charlotte Co. Sheriff’s Office Explorer Post. Registration starts at 11am at the Loony Bin. All Vehicles welcome. Saturday 14th, FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local
farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstrations
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& performers. Come One Come All! Saturday 14th, PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Sportsman, Dwarf cars, road warriors, strictly stock V6, pro4, fab4, and cowboy Cadillac. For more info visit www.puntagordaspeedway. com Saturday 14th, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ON DEARBORN in Englewood. From 6-9pm. Shops will open late. Shop, dine, and play on Dearborn Street! Visit www.oldeenglewood.com Saturday 14th, HOOK KIDS ON FISHING! AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE in the center court from 10-1pm. First 100 kids to register ages 6-16 will receive a free rod, reel and tackle box. Clinics on casting, conservation, fishing safety, knot tying and more! Pre-registration required. Contact King Fisher Fleet at 941639-0969 to register. Tuesday 17th, ELVIS TRIBUTE SHOW WITH DWIGHT ICENHOWER AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time is 7:30pm. Tickets are $12. For more info visit www.visani.net Wednesday 18th-21st, LIVE COMEDY WITH SHAUN JONES/JODI WHITE AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times visit www. visani.net Thursday 19th, GALLERY WALK IN PUNTA GORDA from 5-8pm. The Punta Gorda Downtown Merchants Association brings you art, music, live demonstrations, shopping and food, and a free trolley. What a better way to spend an evening strolling through downtown Punta Gorda. Thursday 19th, ART AF-
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MAY EVENTS TER 5: JAZZ ON THE BAY AT THE JOHN AND MABLE RINGLING MUSEUM OF ART in Sarasota from 5:308:30pm. Join us for sunsets, cocktails and jazz on the bay featuring live entertainment from The Jazz Club of Sarasota featuring Jazzology. Visit www.ringling.org Friday 20th & 21st, HIBISCUS FESTIVAL at the Gilchrist Park in Punta Gorda. Come and kick off the event with local musicians with a cash bar and food vendors. Saturday the park will come alive with a large selection of plants. Friday 20th, THIRD DAY appearing at the Germain Arena at 7:30pm. For tickets and more information visit www. germainarena.com Saturday 21st, 2ND ANNUAL DRIVING OUT HUNGER GOLF TOURNAMENT at the Kings Way Country Club from 7-1pm to benefit the Charlotte County Homeless Coalition. Charlotte Honda will have a new CR-Z at the 13th hole for the first hole in one. Shotgun at 8:30am and a BBQ style lunch. All proceeds stay in Charlotte County. Fee is $75/ person & $300/team. For more info visit www.puntagordachamber.com Saturday 21st, FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-togo, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstrations & per-
formers. Come One Come All! Saturday 21st, PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – Open wheel modified 50, super stocks, SE champ karts, Pro/ Fab 4 40 laps, road warriors, mini stocks 40 laps, TQ Midgets. For more info visit www. puntagordaspeedway.com Saturday 21st, HOME, HEALTH & WEALTH SHOWCASE AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE from 10-6pm. Free Admission. Meet with leaders in the industry for personal estate planning, wellness and home repair/beautification. For more information visit www.fishville.com Saturday 21st, THIRD ANNUAL FREEDOM ISN’T FREE POKER RUN held by The Military Heritage Museum at the American Legion, Post 103 at 2101 Taylor St. PG. Everything on wheels is welcome! Registration starts at 9am. For more information call 941-575-9002. Saturday 21st, HOME GROWN 2011 MUSIC FEST AT THE GERMAIN ARENA Check out some of Southwest Florida’s top unsigned music acts as they compete for prize money in SWFL’s biggest and best local music festival. The fun begins at 12:30pm and music starts at 1:30pm. For more info visit www.germainarena.com Tuesday 24th, LIVE MUSIC “ROY ORBISON” TRIBUTE BY MIKE T. AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. Show time is 7:30pm. For more info visit www.visani.net Wednesday 25th, MAX & RUBY BUNNY PARTY! At the Charlotte Harbor Event Center in Punta Gorda at
May 2011
6:30pm. Join in on an exciting musical adventure that celebrates the universal nature of siblings relationships. Tickets are available via ticketmaster.com or calling ticket master at 1-800-7453000. Wednesday 25th-28th, LIVE COMEDY WITH MIKE MERRYFIELD/LISA CORRAO AT VISANI’S COMEDY THEATER in Port Charlotte. For show times visit www.visani.net Saturday 28th, FARMER’S MARKET DOWNTOWN IN PUNTA GORDA on Taylor St. and Herald Court by the Historic court House. From 8-1pm. There’s local farm fresh fruits and vegetables, live entertainment, fresh baked goods & fresh seafood, locally homemade soups-to-go, fresh cheeses & fresh ground coffee, fresh cut flowers & potted plants and creative demonstrations & performers. Come One Come All! Saturday 28th, PUNTA GORDA SPEEDWAY – PGS late models, pro trucks, rookie trucks, legends, bandolero, road warrior 50 laps, strictly stock V6. Visit www. puntagordaspeedway.com Monday 30th, MEMORIAL DAY CEREMONY AT FISHERMEN’S VILLAGE presented by Military Heritage Museum from 11-1:30pm. Open to the public. Bring your own chair for guaranteed seat. For more information visit www.fishville.com or call 941-575-9002. Tuesday 31st, AL PACINO appearing at the Ruth Eckerd Hall at 8pm. For more info visit www.rutheckerdhall.com * Times and dates are subject to change.
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Gemini (May 21-June 21) Everyone loves a Gemini because everyone loves a schizophrenic. You like to think that you are a half-and half mixture of Socrates and Michelangelo, but in reality it’s more like Cher and Bea Arthur. Cancer (June 22-July 22) Cancerians only get dressed because they have to, and their fashion sense can only be described as “erratic.” You are more likely than any other sign in the zodiac to iron your clothes by sleeping with them sandwiched between the mattress and boxspring. Leo (July 23-August 22) You will grab attention in any way you possibly can. You like to kiss mirrors a lot. Genghis Khan was a Leo, and so is Barney the Dinosaur. Virgo (August 23-September 22) You are a pain in the ass. You color-coordinate the clothes in your closet. No Virgo in history has ever belched. You clean every square inch of everything they own twice daily with a toothbrush. Libra (September 23-October 23) You are oh-so-elegant and tasteful to the point of incurring nausea from loved ones. You are also bipolar as hell and can’t make a decision on your own. You usually consult your therapist or TV Guide Scorpio (October 24-November 21) You got into computers early so you could use madeup, bulls**t terminology and get away with it. Most hackers are Scorpios.
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Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) Sagittarians are born adventurers. They like trying to walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night with the lights out. They would sooner sustain crippling injury than do anything the easy way. Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Capricorns are hardworking, reliable, and dull as hell. They are always on the move, headed to their next delusion of grandeur.
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Aquarius (January 20-Fedruary 18) The Aquarius loves a party. Anytime, anywhere is their motto. It’s not unlikely that an Aquarius will consider a wake a good place to meet chicks. Aquarians tend to be nostalgic about the 1960s because that was the last time they could be naked in public. Pisces (February 19-March 20) Everywhere you go, laughter and comedy ensue. This would be great if you were trying to be funny. You are deeply confused by the idea of sex. Aries (March 21-April 19) The Aries makes life decisions as a toddler. Aries marry several times for fun but never divorce. Their spouses have many freak accidents resulting in death or injury. Taurus (April 20-May 20) you
love happy movies where everyone is jolly and having fun, but they fight with waiters and get upset with billboards. They like to psychoanalyze their friends but have no real experience with life in general.
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