That’s it folks, the end of life as we know it

Elijah Zeewe, official. The sun is dying.

staff

Despite previous scientific predictions that the sun would exist for another five billion years, researchers at the National Agency for Space Exploration (NASE) have now confirmed that the Earth’s sun is projected to run out of nuclear fuel in 2024.

The sun previously maintained a main-sequence stage where it fused hydrogen into helium in its core. However, due to changes which researchers at NASE described as “inexplicable,” the sun has exhausted the hydrogen fuel in its core and is fusing entirely with helium.

Consequently, the sun has begun expanding to a size larger than the Earth’s orbit. This is expected to vaporize the inner planets, including Earth.

In an interview with the Ivory Buffalo astronomer and researcher at NASE Michael Starr discussed the implications of the sun’s impending death for humanity.

Starr explained that within the next couple of months, we should expect strong relentless winds, evaporation of all bodies of water, intense sunlight and the overall collapse of our ecosystem.

graphic / B. A. Turtle / volunteer

Artist rendering of daytime in the space of the universe where what we currently know of as Earth is expected to have formerly existed. Swipe right to see more visualizations of this impending event.

“After COVID-19, I didn’t think I would experience any other significant world events in my lifetime, but here I am at the end of the world,” Starr said. “It’s terrifying, but pretty iconic.”

Starr advised that although there is no ideal “end of the world” guideline, he encourages the general public to text their favorite ex.

“I mean, if the world was ending, they’d come over, right?” Starr broke into chorus.

“They’d come over and they’d stay the night, they would love you for the hell of it, and all your fears would be irrelevant,” he sang.

“If the world was ending, they’d come over, right?”

“Sky’d be falling while they hold you tight, no there wouldn’t be a reason why, you would even have to say goodbye.”

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Michael Starr, Astronomer and researcher at the National Agency for Space Exploration

ivorybuffalo@themanitoban.com