December 7, 2023 by Joel Halpern

‫ ח׳ טבת תשפ״ד‬- ‫כ״ד כסלו‬

December 7 - December 20, 2023 • VOL 2, #8 B”H

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Chanukah Travelogue Showcasing diverse chanukah traditions from around the world page 38

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Dear Readers,

his past weekend I had the pleasure of watching a play put on by an all-women’s theatre group, the Jewish Women’s Repertory Company. The show was meaningful and entertaining. The following night, I had the pleasure of listening to a performance by the Los Angeles Jewish Ladies Chorale. These ladies, with the most beautiful voices, sang from the heart. Both of these groups not only perform to bring joy and uplift the spirits of their audience, but they are utilizing their creative talents to do so. The amount of talent is astonishing, and instead of keeping it hidden, they are sharing it with others and using the gifts Hashem gave them. Most importantly, both of these groups are comprised of a very diverse group of women from all corners of Jewish life. It is different parts of the community coming together with one mission, in respect of one another, and in service to all Jewish women. This made me immediately think of the heroic women that we celebrate on Chanukah. In the Chanukah travelogue feature on page 38 of this issue, I learned about the Sefardic minhag to celebrate Chag Habanot, a Jewish holiday celebrated on the 7th day of Chanukah, that commemorates Jewish heroines in the past and celebrates the women of today. Women are prohibited from doing any work, malacha, while the Chanukah candles burn, also signifying the important work of women that must now be put to rest.

In Israel, it is women from all walks of Jewish life who have stepped up in righteousness. Immediately after the massacre, many Israeli teenagers and young women began cutting up their immodest clothing and swearing to dress b’tzanua. Others began to keep Shabbat with their families. The wives of Israeli soldiers have single-handedly had to step up as two parents for their families while their husbands are serving indefinitely in Gaza and all around the country. Chareidi women went to bus stops to say Tehillim when reserve soldiers were boarding the buses. It is women all over Israel cooking endless amounts of meals, purchasing groceries, and providing for all the needs of displaced families and wives of soldiers. It is women who collected toys for children all over Israel who needed to stay home in October due to constant rocket attacks and schools being closed. It is women who have taken entire families into their homes who had to evacuate from southern Israel. It is the women who sheltered their children from horrific images and news immediately after the massacre. It is the women who say prakim and prakim of Tehillim every single day and night. It is the women who arrange challah bakes week after week. In this week’s Parsha of Vayeshev, we learn the infamous story of Yehudah and Tamar. Tamar knows that she must assist in carrying on the lineage of Yehudah’s family after both her husbands, Yehudah’s two sons, have died and left

her without any children. Tamar goes on to disguise herself in order to seduce Yehudah and become pregnant. Of the twin boys she gives birth to, Peretz’s lineage will yield David Hamelech and the future line of Jewish kings. Later on in history, Rut also sacrifices her future to remain with Naomi and also merits to have David Hamelech come from her. In the merit of all these women, we will see the Geulah. And so I want to say thank you to all the Jewish women, regardless of your role. And thank you to all the men who support them. Wishing you a light-filled Chanukah,

Ariela

Shabbos Zemanim Friday, December 8 Parshas Vayeshev Candlelighting: 4:25 pm Havdallah: 5:25 pm Rabbeinu Tam: 5:56 pm

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Building Emotionally Healthy Homes... In Anxiety Provoking Times

here is a lot of stuff going on now. The Gaza war, inflation, homeless crisis… the list goes on and on. We all can’t help but feel a little anxious. Last week, on December 29th, an insightful event unfolded at Adas Torah to better understand anxiety in the current times and for tips to channel it in a positive way. Distinguished speakers, Dr. David Rosmarin and Dr. Dovid Fox, graced the stage, accompanied by Dr. Baruch Amiri. Their talks provided practical strategies to transform adversity into personal growth, offering attendees a unique opportunity to learn from esteemed professionals. The event, moderated by Rabbi Avi Stewart of Westwood Kehilla and psychologist, delved into the essence of resilience and thriving amidst challenges. With approximately 120 attendees in person and 100 connected through the streaming link, the event reached a broad audience seeking valuable insights. Dr. Rosmarin emphasized the importance of embracing anxiety, viewing it as an alarm system rather than a source of shame. He highlighted the distinction between fear and anxiety, noting that anxiety often arises from perceived, rather than real, threats. Dr. Rosmarin encouraged the audience to lean into anxious feelings and use it to connect with others and Hashem, share their anxious feelings, and recognize the potential for spiritual growth. Dr. Fox drew inspiration from the biblical story of Yaakov meeting Eisav, illustrating the emotional turmoil it caused him. Linking this to the power of prayer, the act of giving, and preparing to confront personal pain, Dr. Fox reassured the audience that doubts during anxious times are normal. He emphasized the importance of seeking guidance from mentors, rabbis, or rebbetzins to navigate challenging emotional landscapes. Dr. Rabbi Amiri delivered a passionate and practical talk on managing negativity in the modern world. He urged attendees to actively filter news consumption, limit engagement in overwhelming WhatsApp groups, and reassess personal obligations. Stressing the importance of aligning personal expectations with available resources, Dr. Amiri cautioned against setting unrealistic standards that lead to unnecessary and unproductive feelings. The event provided a rich tapestry of insights, ranging from embracing anxiety as a natural response to adversity to seeking guidance and actively managing one’s environment. To revisit these invaluable discussions, a recording of the event is available at www.Bayit.LA/events.

Torat Shalhevet Programming Continues at Shalhevet

abbi David Stein, Shalhevet’s Director of Firehawks for Israel, ran two Torat Shalhevet programs for the community, entitled “Responding to the Rhetoric” - a two part Israel Education series for adults. Based on Shalhevet’s Israel Education curriculum, Rabbi Stein led participants – including Shalhevet current and former parents, alumni and other members of the LA Jewish community – in an important conversation about the challenging rhetoric that faces American Jews in the media, social media, and workplace. The series drew upon the history of Medinat Yisrael to offer history, context and perspective on the present moment. Shalhevet students, faculty and parents were treated to a four day immersive learning experience led by Scholar-in-Residence Rabbi Yakov Danishefsky, a speaker, teacher and social worker from Chicago. The theme was ‫כל ישראל ערבים זה בזה‬ - nurturing relationships with each other, Am Yisrael, Medinat Yisrael, and with Hashem. During his visit, Rav Danishefsky met with each grade, different faculty groups, parents and a smaller student leadership cohort to explore these themes. He also led separate boys and girls mishmar programs and taught at our night seder during his visit. Rabbi Danishefsky’s work with faculty explored how different students relate to the learning environment through a relational lens. The final event was an evening for Shalhevet parents where he shared how to foster open relationships with healthy attachments between parents and children. During his visit to LA, Rabbi Danishefsky served as Shabbat Scholar in Residence at Westside Shul.

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Bat Mitzvah Beyond Borders: Celebrating Shir and her family with Hillel Hebrew Acadamy

eet Shir. Shir is visiting from Kibbutz Nir Yitzhak, which is just 2 KM from the Gaza border. The LA federation has generously flown this brave family to Los Angeles for a respite trip. When Hillel learnt that Shir’s Bat Mitzvah was canceled due to the war, they swung into action to create the most amazing celebration in just 24 hours! Along with the help of many incredible local vendors, Hillel transformed an ordinary Tuesday afternoon into a grand and unforgettable celebration that infused Shir and her family’s lives with so much Simcha and a deep connection within Klal Yisrael. From delicious concession stands, to personalized “Shir” merch every detail was covered for this magical moment, Hillel not only Gave Shir the beautiful Bat Mitzvah she had always dreamed of but also spread a powerful message that no matter what situation Am Yisrael is in, we have eachothers backs and are always here

to lend a helping hand - Areivim Ze B’zeh. The Bat Mitzvah girl, Shir stood tall with a glow of pride in her eyes as she lovingly accepted her newfound responsibility of upholding the Jewish nation. Hillel’s 7th graders danced non stop, proving that even in the most challenging times, the light of the Jeiwsh family can shine through, bringing warmth and joy to the hearts of those who need it most. A very special thank you to Beth Jacob for hosting Shir’s Bat Mitzvah. A giant thank you to all of our generous vendors and donors who made this spectacular event possible. Perfect Party LA, Burger Bar LA, Holly Grill, Move it With Srula (Srula Chaiton), DJ Asi, Madeline Arenas Photography, Gems Party Rentals, E&R Unlimited - Eytan Shafigi, @daniellassophiejewlery, and YULA girls!! Photo credit: Madeline Arenas - Cubrix Photography

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Out of Darkness Comes Light

isit the Topiol family’s “Chanukkah House” on the 500 block of North Vista Street where a 9-foot LED menorah and 6-foot spinning dreidel take center stage at their Chanukkah-themed display. The homeowner’s inspiration is simple: “There is a lot of darkness in the world today, so we are spreading as much light as we can to show that the Jewish people are stronger and prouder than ever before. Am Yisrael Chai!”

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his year’s annual campaign, “Watch Emek Thrive”, underscores Emek’s commitment to meeting the individual academic, spiritual, and emotional needs of each student. Through curriculums like the Leap gifted program and Emek’s Learning Lab, as well as our state-of-theart sports facilities, Emek is able to offer our students the most comprehensive and well-rounded programming in Los Angeles. The 36-hour, $800,000, Annual Charidy Campaign, taking place on December 19th and 20th, is essential for sustaining affordable tuition rates and closing the $3 million gap between tuition income and operating expenses. Due to the generosity of our matchers, every dollar will be doubled! With

over 50% of our parent body receiving tuition assistance, the campaign relies on the generosity of our donors. Achieving 100% parent participation, as a measure of strong community support, is a core goal, with special rewards for those who excel. Last year, our 2nd grade boys’ class was treated to a special ice cream party as their class achieved the highest percentage of participation – 90%. The campaign’s ultimate aim is to ensure that no child in our community is deprived of the Emek experience due to financial limitations. If you are interested in obtaining your own personalized link to share during the campaign or to make a donation, please contact our campaign manager, Michelle Gurstein at mgurstein@emek.org.

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Local 5th Graders Host Tzedakah Carnival for Displaced Families in Israel

nergetic 5th-grade Pico Robertson girls from Toras Emes teamed up to create a vibrant, fun-filled afternoon last Sunday. The proceeds from the event went to help families displaced from their homes in Southern Israel. The carnival featured creative, diverse activities—from dreidel spinning to donut decorating and a jelly bean guessing game. The girls’ spirited efforts were enjoyed by all. The neighborhood children truly had a day to remember! The event’s success highlighted the power of achdus that the girls and the community at large feel toward our brothers and sisters in Israel. Kol hakavod!

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Israeli Hostages Released - A Hug is Worth A Thousand Words!

Abigail Mor Edan greeted by family members upon her release

Danielle Aloni and her daughter giving first hug upon release

Hila Rotem Shoshana, age 12, in the arms of her family

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Ohad Mundi surrounded by loving family

Emilia Aloni, age 5, happy to receive hug from family upon her release

Tal Goldstein-Almog held tightly by family

Emily Hand in the arms of her father Thomas Hand

Itay Maya Regev, siblings both held hostage, reunited in Israeli hospital after release

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Mia Schem embraced by mother and brother

14 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Eitan Yahalomi, age 12

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Moran Stela Yanai released and embraced by family

Yoni Asher hugging his daughters Raz & Aviv and wife Doron

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Parshas VaYeshev : A Tool

Parental Favoritism & Sibling Rivalry

Rabbi Yitzchok Summers

t a turning point in history, the brothers sell Yosef to Arabs who then bring Yosef to Mitzrayim. This, of course, was part of HaShem’s Divine plan which would lead Klal Yisroel itself into the exile of Egypt. It is impossible for us to imagine the pain and agony that Yosef, who was 17 years old at the time, must have felt. He was torn away from his father, who is also his Rebbe, his family, and his environment, to be cast into a totally foreign society that was diametrically opposed to that of his holy family. Every step led him deeper and deeper into a dark exile with no hope of return. With all of that, the Torah points out that the Arab caravan was transporting balsem and resin, both fragrant ingredients used for making perfume. Rashi asks why is it that the Torah goes out of its way to tell us the cargo of the Arabs? What lesson is to be learned from knowing this? Rashi answers that this teaches us an important lesson. Then, as now, Arabs dealt with petroleum products which have a bad smell. HaShem arranged that these Arabs would be transporting an unusual cargo, balsem and resin, whose smell is pleasant so that the Tzaddik, Yosef, should not be discomforted by the smell and, just the opposite,

have a pleasant smell for the duration. Again, we can not fathom the pain Yosef was experiencing at that moment. But at the same time, HaShem arranged an unusual thing to happen just for Yosef. I believe that there are two important ideas to be learned. One, that HaShem knows exactly how much we can handle in every situation. Whatever we experience, we need to experience exactly at that time and exactly in the measure that we are experiencing it. Second, sometimes in the middle of the “challenge,” HaShem might send a “note” to inform you that despite the difficulty, He is with you, “holding your hand.” We should only experience “good” things but whether what seems good or the opposite, we need to have at the forefront of our minds, that we need this experience exactly at this time. We also must see and appreciate the small messages that HaShem might send during these times to assist and help us as we go through them. Both of these ideas are tools for us to navigate the vicissitudes of life and, at the same time, also help us appreciate those good occasions of life.

____________________________________

Rabbi Yitzchok Summers is Rabbi of Anshe Emes in the Pico Robertson neighborhood of Los Angeles

Shalom Bayit

Through the Parsha

Rabbi Nir Yacoby

Look Who’s Talking?!?

our teenage boy is causing Royalty, all Jewish kings, come from him for etermayhem and you try to disci- nity. The message is clear: when you take responpline him. Your wife takes you to a sibility you say that you have broad shoulders, room and then accuses you, “What those of a king. So rather than summarily pushing back your you’re doing is counterproductive! wife, ask her “What do you mean by counterproYou’ll lose him!” “Look who’s talking?! We see ductive? What could I have done better?” You how much success you’ve had with will choose to be a king and have shalom bayit! him!” You push back responsibility. That’s the topic now - responsibility - and the story of Judah in ‫וישב‬ brings it out beautifully. Judah faces a decision. If he admits to his wrongdoing, he’s going to be the town’s laughing stock. He will be shamed, his name will be all over social media. If he remains quiet, however, nobody would know. Just like his Hebrew name infers (to admit), Judah admits “I was wrong.” People must have laughed and ridiculed him. After all that, he is restored to his position of leadership. ____________________________________________________________________ Rabbi Nir and his wife Atrian give regular classes on Shalom Bayit. His popular 3-minute podcast is funny and draws Shalom Bayit ideas from the Torah portion of the week. To register: ShalomInComics@gmail.com

16 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Elan Javanfard

arshat Vayeshev unfolds a gripping narrative centered around the complex dynamics of the family of Yaacov. A closer examination reveals an intriguing interplay of psychological concepts, particularly birth order and sibling rivalry, as we delve into the lives of Yosef and his brothers. Humorist Sam Levenson wrote, “Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.” While families prepare to spend more time together over Chanukah, the Torah introduces us to the family dynamics, highlighting the twelve sons of Yaacov. Yosef, the eleventh son, is portrayed as the favored child, receiving a special coat from his father. This preferential treatment stirs jealousy and resentment among his older siblings, setting the stage for a tumultuous journey of sibling rivalry. Modern psychology suggests that birth order can significantly influence personality development. Yosef, being the youngest until Binyamin’s birth, might have displayed characteristics associated with the “baby” of the family – often charismatic, charming, and accustomed to receiving attention. On the other hand, he was also the oldest, born the first child of his father’s favorite wife. The echoes of parental guidance resonate in the relationships between siblings, influencing how they communicate, understand, and support each other. The psychological tension between birth order and parental favoritism becomes a focal point in the story. Yaacov’s overt affection for Yosef exacerbates the existing sibling rivalry, leading to a rupture in the family unit. The brothers’ resentment manifests in Yosef’s dreams, where he envisions himself in a position of authority over them, further intensifying their animosity.

AIRPORTS TOURS

In our lives, we witness the echoes of these ancient sibling dynamics. Families today grapple with the challenges posed by birth order, where each child’s unique position may shape their personalities and interactions. We can clearly understand why Yaakov had special feelings towards Yosef. After all, he was the firstborn of his beloved wife Rachel, who passed away tragically young. Chazal tell us that Yosef spent a good deal of time with his father, caring for him and tending to his needs. Yaacov’s mistake was not in loving Yosef more than his other children, but rather in manifesting this favoritism in concrete ways. Yaacov Avinu grew up in a home where favoritism was the norm, in which his mother favored him and his father favored his brother, Esav. Yaacov, while probably cognizant of the negative results of such favoritism, subconsciously adopted such an approach when he had his own children. The way parents love and treat each child is the first and most lasting lesson in how they will love and treat each other. Parshat Vayeshev invites us to contemplate the intricate web of family relationships, recognizing the profound impact of parental influence on birth order, sibling dynamics, and the collective harmony of the family unit. As we navigate our own family landscapes over Chanukah, may we draw inspiration from the Torah’s wisdom regarding parenting. ____________________________________ Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, a weekly blog. He lives in the Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and two children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@gmail.com.

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SKI YESHIVA WEEK IN

Lou Shapiro

n Controversy these days knows no bounds. On November 15, 2023, Elon Musk endorsed a post on X, formerly known as Twitter, that promoted antisemitic conspiracy theories that Jewish people are promoting “hatred against whites” and support bringing “hordes of minorities” into western nations. Referencing the post, Musk wrote, “You have said the actual truth.” The White House condemned Musk’s social media post, calling it an “abhorrent promotion of Antisemitic and racist hate” that “runs against our core values as Americans.” “It is unacceptable to repeat the hideous lie behind the most fatal act of Antisemitism in American history at any time, let alone one month after the deadliest day for the Jewish people since the Holocaust,” said White House spokesperson Andrew Bates, adding: “We all have a responsibility to bring people together against hate, and an obligation to speak out against anyone who attacks the dignity of their fellow Americans and compromises the safety of our communities.” In the same spirit, big companies such as IBM, Apple, and NBC Universal immediately suspended their advertising on X. Things quickly got bad for Musk and X. Desperate times call for desperate measures so on November 26, 2023, Musk visited Israel and then declared his commitment to do whatever was necessary to stop the spread of hatred. He met with the families of some of the hostages and had a live online chat with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on X Spaces. He also watched footage assembled from Hamas bodycams, CCTV and other sources of the Oct. 7 Hamas killing spree. He then posted on X: “Actions speak louder than words.” “It was jarring to see the scene of the massacre,” said Musk later in an X Spaces conversation with Netanyahu, adding Israel has “no choice” but to eliminate Hamas. Musk agreed that Israel has no choice but to destroy Hamas. Musk also said he believed three things needed to happen in the Gaza situation, according to Israel’s president’s statement: to kill those who insist on murdering civilians, to teach the new generation not to murder, and to try to build prosperity. Journalists viewed Musk’s Israel visit in very different ways. Haaretz published an article entitled, “Israel’s Repulsive Embrace of Elon Musk Is a Cynical Betrayal of Jews, Dead and Alive”. The opening line was, “Welcoming such a toxic mogul with open arms and taking him around sites of a massacre that has been belittled, demeaned and denied on his watch should be a stain on Netanyahu’s legacy.” “It all seems contrived for the cameras and to try and salvage relationships with advertisers,” Imran Ahmad, founder and CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate,

told The Hill of Musk’s trip to Israel this week. “It feels like a cynical corporate whitewashing of the fact that he has been integral in spreading antisemitic conspiracy theories himself and has turned Twitter into a platform where antisemitism can run rampant,” Ahmad added. Harel Menashri, a former cyber official in Israel’s national security services, said that despite Musk’s recent comments regarding Jews, Israel still needs to ally itself with him. “He’s a very important person in the world who has a lot of influence. We need to work with him and not against him,” he said. It is understandable why individuals strongly believed that Netanyahu should not have welcomed Musk with open arms. Musk’s support of anti-Semitic conspiracy theories was shocking and offensive to the bone. But once Musk expressed a desire to visit Israel and potentially change his tune, it can be argued that more good than bad would come to Israel from his visit. It is important to keep in perspective that Musk is one of the most influential people of our time. He is a modern-day Thomas Edison. He has transformed the electric vehicle market and revolutionized space travel by figuring out how to safely land rocket components back on Earth. He is the wealthiest person in the world, with an estimated net worth of US $219 billion as of November 2023, according to the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, and $241 billion according to Forbes. When Musk speaks, the world listens. Netanyahu knew that once Musk would actually come face to face with the evidence of carnage and destruction that Hamas inflicted on Israel, Musk would likely have no choice but to express support for Israel. That would be a reasonable reaction and Netanyahu figured that the public boost of support to Israel that would result from welcoming Musk to Israel and having him change his opinion about Israel on the record was worth overlooking his disdain for Musk’s original comments. There is also the idea of repentance, which Judaism prides itself on. It would be unfair to say that certain people have the ability to repent while others do not. In the same way he sinned, Musk could have simply tweeted an apology. Instead, he went above and beyond to demonstrate to Israel, Jews, and the world that as bright as he was, he still had more to learn about the importance of supporting Israel in this war. Imagine if his millions of followers end up taking away that message from his trip… ___________________________________

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Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal analyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas Torah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail.com.

DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

Stories

Rebbe’s

Abba Umana

There was a great Rabbi named Abaye who was the head of a very large Yeshiva. Abaye was a big Tzadik and every Erev Shabbat (Friday morning) he was greeted by a voice from heaven that said “Shalom Aleichem Abaye.” One day Abaye was told that there was a man named Abba Umana who received a greeting from heaven every single morning. Abaye was shocked! ”Who is Abba Umana?” he asked, “I never heard of him before!” “He is a doctor,” the people responded. “A doctor?” asked Abaye surprisingly! “What makes him so special?” The people answered that they did not know. Abaye was curious so he sent two of his students to investigate. They came to the town where Abba Umana lived and asked some of the people if they knew Abba Umana. “Of course we know him,” the people responded proudly, “everyone in town knows Abba Umana.” The two men asked the people if it was true that Abba Umana received a greeting from heaven every day? “Of course it’s true!” the people responded confidently, “If you knew Abba Umana then you wouldn’t need to ask this question.” The two men were anxious to find out more about Abba Umana so they went to the clinic where he worked. When they entered the building, they noticed a sign that said, “Men to the left and women to the right.” They entered the room to the left and saw some men sitting and learning. Others were saying Tehillim. Some men were speaking quietly or just sitting alone. The room looked more like a Beis Medrash than a waiting room to see a doctor. They were also told that the women’s waiting room was also set up appropriately for the women’s needs. The two men noticed that no one was collecting money. They asked a man sitting in the waiting room. “Where do you pay the doctor for his services?” The man responded, “There are boxes outside the examining rooms. When a man or woman is finished being checked by the doctor, they can put the money in the box.” “What do you mean they could put the money in the box? Doesn’t

20 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

everyone need to pay?” they wondered! “No,” answered the man. “If someone does not have money, then he doesn’t need to pay anything and no one will ever know! This way no one ever needs to feel embarrassed.” “That’s incredible” thought the two men. “What else does Abba Umana do that is so special?” “If someone needs medicine and he does not have the money to buy it, then Abba Umana will give him the money,” answered the man. “Also, Abba Umana has tremendous Kavod HaTorah. He will never take money from a Talmid Chacham.” The two men also learned that Abba Umana designed a special garment that every patient wore while he or she was being examined. This garment covered the patient’s entire body and could be opened at the specific spot that Abba Umana needed to check. This way every patient could feel comfortable that he or she was appropriately covered and tzniut. The two men came back to Abaye to report to him what they had learned about Abba Umana. When Abaye heard their report he shook his head in agreement and said, “Now I know why Abba Umana deserves a greeting from Heaven every morning. Wow, what a Tzadik!” This story is found in Taanis 21/b

Questions for Discussion 1.

Why do you think that Abaye was shocked when he heard about Dr. Abba Umana receiving a blessing from Heaven every day? 2. Why did Abaye send his students to find out about Abba Umana? 3. What do you think were some of the things that were found in the women’s waiting room? 4. What do you think was the greatest thing that Abba Umana did that made him special? ___________________________________________

Rabbi Mordechai Dubin is a Rebbe at Gindi Maimonides Academy. He is the author of three illustrated children’s books, I’ll Never Forget Yerushalayim, I Believe, and I Know 6; and has produced four Musical CD’s for children, I Made This World For you, Let My People Go, Al Shelosha Devarim, and Hashem is Always With Me.

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Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, zt”l: The Story of a Giant Eliyahu Rosenberg

ne may be inclined to describe Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, zt”l, as an educator, an inspirational speaker, and the founder of several schools and programs, but in truth, he was so much more. His dedication to every Jew and his emunah in Hashem were simply unfathomable, and his extraordinary contributions to Klal Yisroel continue to shape the lives of countless individuals, even after his untimely passing. Indeed, he achieved far more in sixty years than most could in 120. No matter how much you learn about Rabbi Wallerstein, there’s still so much more left to discover. And while no amount of words can truly do him justice, it is my hope that the following story will offer a sort of glimpse into the life of a man who was a giant in every sense of the word. _______________________ Meet Howie Hershkovich, a frum man who grew up as a not-so-religious boy. He lost his father when he was a child, and his difficult life circumstances forced him to switch schools several times in his youth. When sixth grade came along, Howie began attending Crown Heights Yeshiva in Mill Basin, where he first heard of the school’s legendary eighth grade rebbi: Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein. “When you get there, the talk is that there is an eighth-grade rebbi – that once you get to his class, it’s like heaven,” Mr. Hershkovich said. “He’s the coolest guy, and his class goes on the best trips. He’s athletic and plays sports with the kids, he takes everyone out to Kosher Delight, and he’s just fun and cool.” As Howie and his classmates went from sixth grade to seventh, their excitement to reach Rabbi Wallerstein’s class only grew in intensity, as they continued to hear about the incredible eighth grade experience. After a demanding two-year-long wait, Howie was, at long last, you could say, able to live the Rabbi Wallerstein dream – or so he thought. As it turned out, something was off. For some reason, he and Rabbi Wallerstein just couldn’t connect. “He was a great rebbi and everything, but I grew up without a father,” Howie explained. “And he’s very fatherly, and I guess that just wasn’t something I was looking for at that point in my life.” One day, Howie did something in class that was very upsetting – so much so that Rabbi Wallerstein didn’t know how to react. The boy’s actions bothered Rabbi Wallerstein to the point where he felt like nothing could be done to fix the situation.

22 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, zt”l

Thus, the rabbi resorted to a method that he had never used with any student before Howie, nor with any student after: he simply decided to ignore the boy for a few days. Those few days of silence had a profound impact on Howie’s life, for they triggered within him the realization that he, in his words, “needed to shape up.” From that point onward, the relationship slowly but surely flourished into something beautiful. Fast forward several months, and as the year was coming to a close, Rabbi Wallerstein went on a mission to send all his talmidim off to a yeshiva high school, and he was successful in doing so for every single boy…except for Howie. “I wasn’t going to yeshiva high school. My mother wanted me to go to public school; my brother went to public school before me,” Mr. Hershkovich said. “You know, you finished your day school, your time in yeshiva, and now it’s time for the next step.” Rabbi Wallerstein tried endlessly to get Howie to go to a frum school. He even offered to pay for the tuition, but the boy’s mother’s mind was made up: Howie was going to public school and that’s that. Despite the rabbi’s pleas, Howie would not eighth grade graduation ceremony was underway, she exited the school building and found Rabbi Wallerstein standing outside. She went over to the rabbi and suddenly grabbed him by the arm. “And she said, ‘I’m not letting go of your arm until you tell me that you’re gonna watch over my son, because I don’t

know how much longer I have,’” Howie recalled. Rabbi Wallerstein stood there, absolutely taken aback, but he nonetheless promised the boy’s mother that he would keep an eye on him. And that he did. Through Howie’s years in high school, he frequently visited and spoke to Rabbi Wallerstein, and the two grew close. Rabbi Wallerstein would often encourage Howie to become more observant, and although the boy spent his days in public school, little by little, he became frum. And then eleventh grade came along, and at sixteen years old, Howie lost his mother. For some reason, through the whole funeral, Howie just couldn’t cry. But when he went outside to find Rabbi Wallerstein waiting for him, at that moment, the young orphan broke down in tears. There was no doubt about it: from that point onward, Rabbi Wallerstein became like Howie’s father, and Howie became like his son. And that’s when the boy’s life turned around. He began putting on tefil- lin every day and started going to shul to say kaddish for his mother. Once Howie finished high school, Rabbi Wallerstein encouraged him to go to Israel for a year. Rabbi Wallerstein set up an interview at Nvei Tzion, and he paid for Howie’s flight and tuition. Howie had an incredible year in the Holy Land, and he frequently spoke to and received advice from Rabbi Wallerstein advised him to continue going out with. That girl is now Howie’s wife. Howie was twenty when he returned from Israel, and at that point, he decided that he wanted to go into the real estate business. Upon finding a building that he wanted to buy, he approached Rabbi Wallerstein with a business offer. “I said, ‘Rebbi, listen: I found this building and I need sixty thousand dollars; I have thirty. Come be my partner,’” Howie recalled. Rabbi Wallerstein first decided to ask real estate professionals about the deal in order to assess whether the purchase would be a good investment, and to Mr. Hershkovich’s chagrin, everyone told Rabbi Wallerstein that it was a bad idea. “They all told me not to do it. They said it’s not a good deal,” Rabbi Wallerstein told Howie, “but I’m investing in you.” “He gave me thirty thousand dollars,” Howie said. “I bought my first building together with him, and I bought a second building together with him as well. Baruch Hashem, it turned out great.” One day, Rabbi Wallerstein and Howie were spending time together in Howie’s office, just having a casual conversation,

when out of the blue, Rabbi Wallerstein brought up the topic of death. “Nothing’s wrong, but I don’t have any sons and you don’t have any parents,” he told Howie. “If something happens to me, I want you to say kaddish for me.” After Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein, zt”l, passed away on May 2, 2022, Mr. Hershkovich went to shul, every morning, noon, and night, to say kaddish for his rebbi, a man who had transformed his life and became a father to him. _______________________ This story shows a side of Rabbi Wallerstein that few are aware of, for his greatness became known to all through his work with young women through his organization, Ohr Naava. Not many are aware of the fact that he originally exclusively taught boys. Eventually, Rabbi Wallerstein discovered that his greatest impact would be on women, and through his tremendous efforts, thousands of lost women have found their way to Judaism. As a rebbi, Rabbi Wallerstein would walk into the classroom and hand a rose to each girl in his class, every Friday morning, treating each one as if they were his own daughter. He cherished the special individuality of each and every one of his students, while also stressing that we’re all family and no one is alone. And through his patient and non-judgmental way of teaching, he transformed the lives of countless. “He had this way of making you feel like he was on your level, so no matter who you were and what you were, you knew you weren’t being judged, so you were able to open up,” Melissa Sherman, one of his students, said of him. Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein left behind an incredible legacy: one of a man who was a father to all, who dedicated his life towards helping others, and beyond all, prioritized his family and Hashem. May R’ Zecharia Shimon ben R’ Yitzchok HaKohen’s neshama have an aliyah in Shamayim, and may his contributions to the world continue to shape the lives of countless forevermore.

This article is based on a podcast, “Inspiration For the Nation,” hosted by Yaakov Langer. To catch more of this conversation, you can watch it on LivingLchaim.com or YouTube.com/LivingLchaim or listen wherever you listen to podcasts (just search for “Inspiration For The Nation”) or call our free hotline: 605-477-2100.

DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

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The Dreidel’s Message Rabbi Dovid Stimler

othing in Judaism is trivial, no matter how apparently

minor. A Torah Jew believes that every element of the Torah is laden with significance beyond our understanding. A letter in the sefer Torah, a mitzva, laws enacted by our Rabbis; a lifetime of study will not be enough to reveal all of their meanings. Our customs are also significant, with multiple explanations for many of the foods we eat, clothing we wear and other practices. But what about a game such as the Chanukah dreidel? Yes, even that has profound meaning. Playing with a dreidel on Chanukah is a well-known tradition. The dreidel has actually become a symbol for Chanukah and even Judaism. It reminds us of how Yidden had to hide their Torah learning from the Greek soldiers thousands of years ago, when Torah study was punishable by death. When soldiers approached their hiding places, sefarim were hidden, and the dreidels began to spin. Could such a toy have deep significance? Its association with Chanukah portends that it cannot be arbitrary. Let’s examine this spinning top and see what we can expound. The four letters on the dreidel are found in only one word in the entire Torah, in Bereshith 46:28, in the Torah reading that almost always follows Chanukah, Parshas Vayigash. There it states that Yehuda went “to Goshen,” using the term ‫גשנה‬, Goshna. This is a very significant match, since the purpose of going to Goshen was to establish a Bais Medrash. Rashi elsewhere explains that the last letter of the word, hei, performs the job of a lamed at the beginning of a word; therefore, ‫ גשנה‬means ‫לגשן‬, to Goshen. Combining the two versions, the written and implied, yields us ‫לגשנה‬. With this, we have the letter lamed in two forms: an actual one at the beginning of the word and a symbolic one at its end. Now, the very name of this letter means learning, so we seem to be looking at two kinds of learning, one more real than the other. Their placement reminds us of our sages’ reference to those who learn Torah. Those who do so with proper intentions are considered to be approaching Torah from the right. This is in contrast to those who learn for personal gain, who are said to be approaching from the left. ‫מיימינים בה‬ ‫משמאילים בה‬

26 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

As we refer to the order of the letters in ‫לגשנה‬, we can see that the dreidel game and its rules connote exquisite depth. The letter gimel, positioned next to the lamed, the true talmid chochom, is sure to benefit thereby. Perhaps it even indicates that the gimel, cognate to gomel (to give), is also supporting Torah learning. In any case, it is easy to see why he is a winner. The hei however, being involved in lower-class learning, takes only half. This clarifies the inadequacy of his efforts, while at the same time shows how amazing Torah learning truly is. Yes, even in this form, it yields rich rewards. The ‘nun’, neighbor to the hei, cannot expect very much. It is enough that he is protected from loss. The ‘shin’ is neither learning, nor close to one who is. His fate is therefore clear; he must lose. One may object. The hei symbolizes one who is actually learning Torah, albeit without the best of intentions. The gimel is merely next to one who learns. Shouldn’t the hei win more? The answer is revealed in a Mishna. In Pirkei Avos (4:1) we are taught: Better to be the tail of a lion than the head of a fox. Unequivocally, the primacy of learning Torah is displayed! But what about the winnings of the lamed? How did something that ought to be the biggest winner of all wind up with nothing? True, the gimel already gets everything, so it might be hard to reward the lamed adequately. Nevertheless he should somehow get more; perhaps this pot and the next. But the answer is obvious, revealing the undisputed truth. Nothing is assigned to the lamed, because there is no way to express, in earthly terms, the reward reserved for the true Torah student. No mortal can perceive it; only HaShem alone. Even the game’s omission speaks volumes! There is still one point to clarify. Where on the dreidel can the lamed be found? How was he left off, when all the other letters are prominently displayed? His reward may be beyond description, but why don’t we at least see him?! In actuality, it is not his absence, but rather our nearsightedness that should confound us. Upon inspection, a dreidel actually resembles two lameds opposing each other (‫)לל‬. So in reality, the entire dreidel is composed of many lameds, each facing the center. Wonder of won-

ders; the letter we couldn’t find is all over! Moreover, it occupies three dimensions, not like the puny flat surfaces that show each of the other four. The entire dreidel is composed of lameds! There’s more. As the game is played and the dreidel spins, the letters are obscured; except for the lameds. Still it goes unnoticed. All wait impatiently for the twirling to stop, so that they can see the letter that counts. Then a flurry of activity ensues – which letter? Who spun it? Take, pay! As for the lamed? He carries the letters, does all the work, runs the whole show… but literally no one knows he exists. Interesting, isn’t it? Dear reader, it is not just interesting. It’s a parable to nothing less than the world itself. Ask anyone, “Who is important? Who or what makes things go?” The answer will be, “Those who have made it big financially, politically, or socially, of

course!” Ask further, “What about those who study Torah?” the answer may range from, “What? Those parasites?” to “Well, we need them, too.” The world was created for Torah. Everything that goes on here is determined by how Torah has been learned and kept until now, and what the needs for its continuation dictate. The ultimate factor guiding world events is the learning that is for the sake of HaShem, performed by the true talmid chochom, unnoticed as he may be. May all readers merit to improve their Avodas HaShem, and thus raise the level of spirituality of their families and communities. And may we all merit to understand the lesson of the dreidel, and to see “The raising of the glory of Torah, speedily and in our days.”

A version of this appeared in Jewish Press

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DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

FYI Olykeoks to Donuts

The beloved treat we now know as donuts has a rich history dating back to the 1800s. Initially dubbed "oily cakes" from the Dutch term "olykeoks" due to their deep-fried nature, Manhattan welcomed these delights through Dutch immigrants. However, it was in the mid-19th century that Elizabeth Gregory, the mother of a New England ship captain, transformed them by adding nuts in the center where the dough struggled to cook through, resulting in their familiar ring shape and the name "doughnuts." The production of donuts advanced when the ﬁrst donut machine was crafted by Adolph Levitt, a Russian refugee, in 1920 in NYC. The donut landscape expanded from there with the emergence of Krispy Kreme in 1937, founded by Vernon Rudolph in North Carolina. These treats gained prominence during wartime, with Red Cross women, known as Doughnut Dollies, distributing them during World War II, reminiscent of their distribution by French women in WWI. The doughnut craze continued to soar, marked by Dunkin' Donuts opening in the 1950s. Fast forward to 2023, and Americans are devouring over 10 billion doughnuts annually, a testament to the enduring love for this delectable pastry.

REACHING NEW HEIGHTS

September 18, 2023, a new THE BIGGER, THE BETTER! On record in the world of doughnuts

In a delicious celebration of Chanukah, Jewish Life Centre in Johannesburg, South Africa, made history on December 5, 2018. Constructing a tower of 3198 doughnuts, they stacked their way to a towering achievement reaching 4.9 feet in height. This feat not only showcased culinary creativity but also added a sweet touch to the festivities, setting a world record for the tallest tower of doughnuts.

was achieved as chefs Nick DiGiovanni and Lynn Davis crafted the world's largest donut. Weighing an astounding 225.97 pounds and standing at least 1 foot tall, this colossal pastry took a total of 8 hours to prepare. The sheer quantity of dough used in its creation could have easily produced 1,500 regular-sized donuts.

TOM'S DONUTS' CLAIM TO FAME A great feat was achieved by Tom’s Donuts Original in Angola, Indiana on May 28, 2022. They set the world record for the most freshly made donuts sold in 8 hours. They sold a whopping 8,558 donuts during the time frame.

HE DID WHAT?! In May of 2022 Joey Chestnut, The #1 competitive eater in the world, set a world record by eating 55 glazed donuts in 8 minutes. This donut feast amounted to roughly 14,795 calories of sweet treats!

28 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Donut Pair-fection

Can you pair the donuts with their delicious descriptions? (See answer key at the bottom of the page)

A - Donuts that are denser than yeast donuts due to their cake-like batter. They have a more moist and tender texture and are fried until golden brown.

B - Bite-sized small balls of fried dough that are typically coated in sugar and cinnamon sugar. C - Round donuts that are made with a twisted, rope-like dough that is fried until it is golden brown and coated in sugar or cinnamon sugar.

D - Rectangular-shaped yeast donuts that are often coated in a chocolate or vanilla glaze. E- Donuts ﬁlled with a variety of sweet ﬁllings such as cream, jelly, or chocolate. These are much richer donuts and do not have the signature hole in the center.

F - The classic donut. Made with a yeasted dough that is allowed to rise before being shaped into rings and

deep-fried. They have a light, airy, and slightly chewy texture. Can be coated with glaze, chocolate, sprinkles, cinnamon sugar, and more.

G - A yeast-raised pastry that is sweeter than a traditional yeast donut. Often ﬁlled with almond paste. Shaped

in a semicircle with cuts made along angular size that resemble a bears claw when the dough rises during baking.

H - A type of fried dough made with pieces of apple deep fried in batter. Generally oval in shape and topped with powdered sugar, honey, or cinnamon.

I - Previously made with yeast, but modernly made with a cake-like batter. This donut is shaped in a circle with cracked and tapered edges.

YEAST DONUT

BEARCLAW

LONG JOHN

DONUT HOLES

APPLE FRITTER

CAKE DONUT

CRULLER

FILLE DONUT

OLD FASHIONED

Answer Key: A – Cake Donut. B – Donut Holes. D – Cruller. D – Long John Donut. E – Filled Donuts. F – Yeast Donuts. G – Bear Claw. H – Apple Fritter. I – Old Fashioned Donut

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Why did the donut go to the dentist? To get a filling. DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

Chanukah Dreams Rav Moshe Weinberger

Adapted for publication by Binyomin Wolf

he story of Yosef and his brothers stretches over four parshiyos and the central theme of these parshiyos relates to the interpretation and unfolding of dreams. In the words of the Abarbanel, “the primary aspect of this story is dreams and their interpretation.” The dreams in the story act as catalysts, setting each step of the story into motion. The four dreams, or sets of dreams, are, as explained by the Abarbanel: (1) Yosef’s dreams, which aroused his brothers’ hatred and jealousy, as they said (Bereishis 37:19), “behold, here comes the master of dreams;” (2) the dreams of the butler and the baker, which ultimately led to Yosef’s release from prison; (3) Phaorah’s dreams and Yosef’s interpretation, which led to Yosef’s appointment as viceroy over

Egypt and enabled him to eventually bring his whole family down to Egypt and support them; and (4) Yaakov’s prophetic dream (Bereishis 46:2- 4) “in a night vision,” which led him to these parshiyos cause the elevation of Yosef and his and his family’s descent into Egypt. In order to understand the role of dreams, we must first understand a little bit more about the nature of day and night. There are places in the world where it is day for the entire summer and night for the entire winter. In the Jewish calendar, we have a similar phenomenon. From the month of Nissan till the month of Tishrei, throughout the spring and summer months, we have all of the chagim d’Oraisah, the Torah-based holidays: Pesach, Shavuos, Rosh Hashana, Yom Kip-

pur, and Sukkos. The summer months are filled with light. In contrast, from Mar-Cheshvan till Adar, during the fall and winter months, we have no Torah-based holidays. The wintertime Purim are like the dreams of the Jewish people in the long night of the winter. There are, however, two aspects to dreams. On one hand, they are filled with nonsense (Zacharia 10:2, Brachos 55b), “dreams speak emptiness.” On the other hand, some dreams have the power to reveal the truth of one’s life, as the Gemara (Brachos 57b) says, “A dream is one sixtieth of prophecy.” And as the pasuk (Bamidbar 12:6) says, “If there shall be prophets among you, I, Hashem, make myself known to him. I will speak to him in a dream.” Sometimes, we cannot attain

higher levels when we are active, when life is filled with light. It is like when a rebbe begins speaking and the student’s hand shoots in the air, thinking he knows the answer, so he does not hear anything else the rebbe says. While it is good that his mind is active, he is so filled with his own thoughts that he cannot listen to his rebbe. Similarly, sometimes one has a conversation, and at the beginning of the conversation, he has already thought of his response. He therefore fails to listen to anything else the other person is saying because all he can hear is the product of his own active mind. Therefore, sometimes we can only attain a new level of understanding when we slow down, when the night, a time of inactivity, comes. When the race of life quiets down, during the

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“night” of the year, we can begin reflecting on the truth of life and dream of how things should be and where we are headed. When we have a dream about how life can or should be, and then we wake up, such a dream can act as the catalyst for a person to fulfill his dreams during his waking hours. Sometimes, if a person is wrestling with a particularly difficult problem, and he cannot come to a solution, he eventually goes to sleep without an interpretation, without a resolution. But after sleeping and dreaming, suddenly everything becomes clear. The same thing happens to the Jewish people. We sometimes experience a time of great confusion and descent. But then we begin to dream of how it could be, how it should be. Such a dream is not nonsense or idle imagination. Such a dream can lift a Jew or the entire nation to new heights and from these heights, everything becomes clear. Rav Avraham Yitzchak Hakohen Kook, in Oros Hakodesh (53), in a selection called “Great Dreams,” writes:

Great dreams are the foundation of the world. There are many different levels. The prophets were dreamers, “I will speak to him in a dream.” Poets are dreamers who dream while awake. Those who think great thoughts about how to improve the world are dreamers. We all dream about Hashem causing his children to return to Zion. The coarseness of life in society, where one is immersed only in physicality, takes away the light of our dreams from the world. It negates a person’s expansive radiance, his supernal ascent and prevents his dream from penetrating into reality. This causes the world to flounder in pain from the stinging poison of a reality without the radiance of these dreams. But this pain is the suffering of love, which cleanses the world, clarifying it. How mistaken are those who exult in this course, defective reality. But when one sets his dream free, then, unbound by reality and its limitations, it rebels against reality and becomes more real than the

current state of physical reality. The dream then becomes a clear vision. Then we speak directly with Hashem, in a clear vision and not indirectly. We must lift up our nation’s lofty dreams, to clarify our purpose and direction. Chanukah is our great dream during the long winter night, which illuminates the darkness of Greek secularism, who attempted “to darken the eyes of the Jewish people.” Chanukah awak- ens the great light and paves the way for “the establishment the candle of the son of Yishai Your anointed.” Rav Tzvi Hirsch Koidinover, the Rav of Frankfurt, wrote in the Kav Hayashar (section 96): In each and every thing that we do during the eight days of Chanukah relating to the lighting of the candles...in many places, we find that the Chanukah candles are precious before Hashem... It has a great and wondrous holiness without measure. If we had Divine inspiration, we would make the blessing over the candles and then understand and comprehend, through the mitzvah, the kindling of

the future candles [of Moshiach] because the Chanukah candles prophesy like a human prophet. We see from this that by spending a few quiet moments with the candles, we can see the future and access the dreams of what we could be. Dovid Hamelech tells us that when we reach the times of Moshiach (Tehilim 126:1), “ha’yinu k’cholmim, we will be like dreamers.” On the eighth day of Chanukah, which is called “Zos Chanukah,” we can access (Tehilim 118:23) “Mei’eis Hashem hay’sah zos, hei niflas b’eineinu, This [“Zos”] was from Hashem, it is wondrous in our eyes.” May Hashem open our eyes to stop and contemplate during this quieter time of the year in order to dream of what our lives can be like so that we may begin to work to actualize that dream.

Rav Moshe Weinberger, shlita, is the found- ing Morah d’Asrah of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY, and serves as leader of the new mechina Emek HaMelech.

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We light the Menorah together as a family, and afterward, we sing Haneiros Hallalu, with a slow Chabad tune. And when we come to the end, we break into a dance, hold hands, and dance around in a circle until we plotz. And it’s a special moment of Simcha with our kids, where we feel the moment of blessing of family, Chanukah, and Hashems’s brachos in our life. It makes me think of my childhood because my father used to dance with us and sing the same tune. - Rabbi Waghsul

The recollection I have which I continue with my kids is eating Moroccan donuts called Sfenj and dancing by the Chanukiya with the kids. - Rabbi Meir Sultan

During these nights of Chanukah, my mother always did, and still to this day, makes sfenj, which is a fried donut very similar to sufganiyot but they don't have any jam in them. Instead, we pour honey on them and they’re very delicious. This is a Moroccan recipe that my grandmother passed on to my mother in Israel. We invite our relatives like aunts, uncles, and cousins. My father makes tea for everyone. We then share stories of Chanukah and the Maccabees. We play the dreidel game with chocolate gelts. - Moshe Bittan

Every year my dad would sing the classic tune for Maoz Tzur and then switch to the more upbeat tune for the Yevanim Yevanim stanza. At that point, we would form a family train and work our way around the house. I continue this tradition with my children, and I think at this point my kids believe it's required by halacha. - Meir Nemetsky

Growing up, one of the highlights of Chanukah is making and eating my mom’s special sufganiyot, a special recipe she had from her hometown of Sanandaj (the north-western part of Iran). To this day, we either go to my parents or they come to our home, and we make the donuts together with our children. It’s something they look forward to, almost as much as I do. - Moshe Nafisi

Every member of our family lights their own menorah. First Abba lights, then Ema lights, and then the kids light in age order, one at a time, from older to youngest. - Hindy Posey

32 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

My mother used to play Chanukah songs the entire month leading up to the holiday. Every night, after lighting the candles, she would play these songs while we ate latkes or played dreidel. I have adopted this custom in my home with my family. I built on her tradition by playing songs, blacking out the playroom, and having a glow-in-the-dark dance party. The kids have a great time and in this way, they also relate to the Chanukah message of bringing light into the darkness. - Sarah Pachter

Growing up in Memphis, we used to have a big Chanukah party with our large extended family every year at my Grandparents' house where we would exchange gifts. The gifts were beside the point, as the gathering together is what we all looked forward to and the foundation for the memories we share. While we do not live near our extended family, we do work as a family to celebrate together even while living far apart. We do gift exchanges and have elaborate Facetime "parties" where we can all get together and share in this special family time. - Sarah Helfand

Are there any Chanukah traditions from your childhood that you carry on today with your own family?

Our Chanukah tradition from my childhood was always having a family and friend Chanukah party. My grandmother would always make her special jello and in it, there would be a banana Menorah and grapes as flames. We would also have some exciting cookie decorating with all kinds of sprinkles and candy. Every year we have a Chanukah party with my family. In addition, in our home, we love decorating the house with lots of beautiful blue and silver sparkly decorations. No matter how old the children are, they love to help decorate the home. Then we put up a fire and play games, dance, and open presents. It’s very cozy and sweet. For Shabbos Chanukah, we make a Challah Menorah. The kids love to help braid the Challah and eat it too. - Liron Rosenberg

When I was in preschool I learned how to make potato latkes from scratch, using my own grated potatoes, salt, egg, and diced onions. I’ve taught my kids how to do it also. They are the tastiest things ever! A little messy with all the splattered oil, but I guess that's the game this time of year… - Jonah Light

My wife and I dance and sing with the kids every night after we light. As David Sacks says “it takes work to be happy.” The dancing used to be work but now the kids do it themselves! - Yitzy Katz:

I was the first American born in my family so Chanukah was a time when it was all about just being together. We were a very authentic Eastern European family. My Holocaust survivor grandparents and extended family came from an extremely simple background. Chanukah was one present for each child that was given on the first night and it usually was something practical and somewhat of a necessity! Beyond that, it was helping my grandfather hand-grate potatoes for the freshest latkes ever! We have carried on those same beautiful simple traditions. Chanukah is a "cozy time" in our family. We get together with family, food is simple but yummy. Latkes are hand-grated and everyone is in the kitchen waiting for them to come out of the oil. They literally go from pan to hand! When it comes to gift giving, everything we give is something the kids needed or something we knew would be really appreciated and put to good use. So although my grandparents have been gone for about 10 years, the feeling of the alte haym is still very much felt in our home. - Michelle Hirsch

When I was a kid, we would each light the Menorah and then sing and dance to Chanukah songs. Today with my family, we carry on with each one of us lighting the Menorah, and then we sing and dance every night of Chanukah. - Chana Shira Rosenbaum

We all go to my aunt’s house and get gifts from all of the kids I remember growing up waiting to go there every Chanukah myself to open gifts. Now my children get to continue this tradition. Chanukah is such an amazing time to be with family. We all open the gifts together so we can all see each others’ reactions. With 27 first cousins, we used to give to each other. Now we all have kids, and we give gifts to the kids. - Sabrina Zemel

The Power of the Menorah The seven branches represent the seven channels of spiritual self-expression, which can change you forever. Rebbetzin Tziporah Heller

he Temple in Jerusalem – where Jews once had a special connection to God – was destroyed 2,000 years ago. Any discussion of it today must seem arcane. What difference do the symbols of the Temple make to our collective life in the modern age? Can they still make changes in us? One of the special vessels in the Temple, which is still very much part of our identity, is the menorah. The menorah is part of Chanukah, and lighting it is often the only mitzvah that still speaks to people who are far from Judaism. Like the other vessels that were in the sanctuary, the menorah has symbolic value. It is a reflection of the way that the soul finds its expression in this world. The menorah reflects the fire of the soul and its unceasing desire to rise to the source. The seven branches represent the seven channels of spiritual self-expression. What exactly is that spiritual self-expression? Spirituality The term is hard to pin down. We can gain a sense of its meaning by looking within ourselves. Our identities are enormously complex. When you ask a child, “Who are you?” the answer given is usually associated with the physical, as in “I am a girl.” When the same question is put to a 30-year-old, the answer given is often associated with the intellectual, as in “I am a lawyer.” However, we all know that our sense of self is not tied down to our ever-changing bodies nor to our intellectual prowess – we had an identity before we had a profession. Our most basic longings for love, for meaning, for truth are aspects of our souls, not of our bodies nor of our careers. Our other spiritual facets include a sense of there being more to life than the moment – a sense of humility, of desire for relationships that are stable and meaningful, and of yearning to give of ourselves totally. Without these, we suffer the frustration of living in a spiritual vacuum. These are the spiritual branches of the menorah within us. What do we gain by giving them physical expression? And how does constructing and lighting the menorah change us? Holiness The Torah tells us that the effect of the sanctuary, and every article within it, was to make the Jewish people holy. This word holy is tricky. The root of the Hebrew word kadosh, usually translated

as “holy,” literally means “separate.” But separate from what? The Jewish answer is separate from everything that constrains us. Our vistas are cramped by time, space, and of course, our own desires and subjectivity. The Torah opens up our inner landscape. In it, G-d tells us, “Make me a sanctuary, and I will dwell in you.” It would seem more appropriate for the Torah to say, “Make me a holy place and I will dwell in it,” rather than “dwell in you.” But the phrasing communicates the fact that the physical act of building the sanctuary affected spiritual changes. And we also learn that the physical actions performed within the Temple – like lighting the menorah – did the same. How does a physical act accomplish a spiritual goal? Effects of a Mitzvah In the renowned philosophical work “Guide to the Perplexed,” Maimonides says that we can gain insight into the reason for G-d giving us any given mitzvah by observing the effect that that mitzvah has. He tells us that the mitzvot of the Torah undeniably have an effect. The focus of the effect of the mitzvot is not the outer world but the inner world – the world of the menorah. He tells us that the mitzvot affect profound changes in our identity. Each mitzvah presents specific means of self expression and self-change. Maimonides divides the possible influence of any given mitzvah into four groupings: Mitzvot channel the basic components of our personalities, such as visiting the sick. Not only is the patient taken beyond the confines of isolation and pain, but also the visitor is taken beyond the confines of self-absorption and ego. The visitor becomes a more compassionate person. The effect on the patient may be transient, but the effect on the visitor will last a lifetime. Mitzvot that keep us in reality – included in this group are the many prohibitions against various superstitious and idolatrous practices. Too many lives have been wasted on illusion for us not to appreciate the enormous significance of this category upon earnest seekers. Mitzvot commemorate events that happened in the past. By celebrating the holidays, Shabbat, etc. we bring the memory of the fact that G-d is here with us, in this world, into our present. Our ability to rise above despair, to see ourselves (and everyone else) as divine creations can be transformational. Mitzvot alter and refine

our relationship to the physical world, such as keeping kosher. We elevate ourselves and the world in which we live when we relate to it as neither confining nor base, but as being full of spiritual potential. While many mitzvot belong to more than one group, what they share in common is that they affect the individual by using the real world as a medium. Feelings and thoughts are grounded and concretized. Meaning of the Menorah What does this have to do with the menorah? Nothing is simultaneously more real and more ephemeral than our yearnings and strivings. The message is that we must do something about it. We must concretely give voice to our deepest identity. We must not be afraid of seeking, but that must never be the end of our journey. The Maccabees lit the menorah when they reentered the Temple after it had been defiled by the Greeks. The sec-

ond Temple, which had been built with enormous spiritual fire under the aegis of the prophets Ezra and Nechemia had become a home to Greek idols. The defeat of the Greeks was far more than a miraculous military victory. It was a victory of the spirit of Israel. When they re-lit the menorah, it reflected their full commitment to move beyond the limits that Grecian rationalism as well as Greek paganism placed on the human spirit. They didn’t express the spirit of the law alone, but insisted on precision in every concrete detail as well. They would use no oil that didn’t have the seal of the High Priest. Their minds, spirits, emotions, and bodies all had to travel the same road. One of the most enduring lessons of Chanukah is the light that they ignited endured. Thousands of years later, no matter how much darkness surrounds us, we still light the menorah. We still know who we are, and who we can be.

Reprinted with permission from aish.com.

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H AS S L E- F R E E PA R T Y GA M E S ! by Chana Gluck In 1964, Norman Cousins loaded up on vitamin C and jokes and laughed his collagen disease away. Told that he had a 1-in-500 chance of recovering from this crippling connective tissue disease, he “made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep.” There’s nothing like shared laughter with family and friends. Enjoy this game selection for your Chanukah party, with ideas chosen for their simplicity and the few steps required to bring on the fun. Here’s to tossing competitiveness to the wind, not taking yourself too seriously, and laughing the nights away.

False Conductor This game is a riot! The objective of twisting simple answers to nonsense has reduced many a grown-up to tears of mirth.

PREP LIST:

PLAY

A list of simple questions that do not require a yes or no answer. Make up your own, or enjoy this list I used at a party:

Game objective: Like the game many of us associate with practicing our times tables, blurt the answer first and travel the most seats. Unlike grade school, however, questions in False Conductor must be answered with a lie. The conductor questions two people at a time, both standing. The first person to answer with something that is absolutely not the truth can move to the next seat and be questioned with the person sitting there. Example: How old are you? Blurt 150, and move a seat if you were first! The defeated player sits down and waits for her turn in the next round. The game continues as pairs of players are questioned and the first ones to answer correctly (or in the case of this game, incorrectly!) move seats. There is no limit to the number of seats a quick-witted player can travel; she can continue from one seat to the next as long as she answers first. This game can go on for as long as you fancy! At the end, everyone counts the number of seats they moved to tally up a winner.

• What grows on trees? • Name a vegetable. • On Chanukah we light the _____________. • Name a U.S. president. • Where do you sleep at night? • What is a special Chanukah food? • Name one person at this party. • Name one low-fat food. • How many siblings do you have? • Where do ﬁsh swim? • What’s your name? • What was the Beis Yosef’s Chanukah question? • Men are from _____________. • What color is a NYC taxi? • What’s your address? • Where’s a good place to keep a sheitel? • When Antiochus himself went to war with the Jews, what animal did he ride? • What do you use to brush your teeth? • Name a creature that ﬂies. • What do we pour into the glasses of the menorah? • How many bedrooms does your home have? • Who is currently the richest person in the world? • Name one type of winter outerwear. • Because of the story with Yehudis, we eat _____________ on Chanukah. • Name one US president. • How do you eat a banana? • What is paper made of? • What do you do when you’re hungry?

34 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

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DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

Mad Libs I will always associate this game with cozy winter afternoons and my older sisters. I think it was Glad that used to include these folded up funnies in packs of plastic bags. After we’d open a box, we’d sit around the table squishing our penmanship into the tiny blanks and laughing at the loony outcomes. I enjoyed Mad Libs so much that I’ve recreated them for a host of parties already. They never disappointed!

PREP LIST: This may require the wakeup of your inner storyteller, but it’s so worth it! First write a short story. You might want to do a few to make the game last long enough. Then remove key words and identify their part of speech. Put a blank where the key words were, with their part of speech under the blank. If you don’t feel like writing one, you can use the sample provided.

SHAPE NAME OF HALL NUMBER The __________________________ is all prepared with __________________________ of __________________________ tables bedecked with COLOR __________________________ tablecloths. RECEPTACLE FAMILY MEMBER FOOD ITEM __________________________ is the ﬁrst to arrive. She is holding a _______________________ ﬁlled with _____________________ that smells ADJECTIVE _____________________ , which she places on the table. FAMILY MEMBER COLOR VERB ARTICLE OF CLOTHING Next, __________________________ __________________________ s in wearing a ___________________ ________________________________ ,a ARTICLE OF CLOTHING ADJECTIVE TYPE OF HEADGEAR FAMILY MEMBER SIZE _____________________ _______________________________ and a __________________________ __________________________. __________________________ NOUN arrives right afterward, with the __________________________ that she always takes with her in her hand. She tastes some VERB ADVERB FOOD __________________________ and then begins to __________________________ __________________________ . LAST NAME OF FAMILY MEMBER GENDER NUMBER The _______________________________________ s walk in next, and all __________________________ of their __________________________ s are ARTICLE OF CLOTHING COLOR dressed in matching __________________________ __________________________ . VERB VERB VERB They __________________________ and __________________________ and then__________________! WAY OF SPEAKING (VERB) FAMILY MEMBER Suddenly everyone starts to _________________________________ when they see __________________________ . She has made a surprise and TYPE OF RESIDENCE SOMETHING WITH WHEELS FARAWAY PLACE traveled in from her __________________________ in __________________________ with a _________________________________ . She NOUN ACTION __________________________ to everyone and then gives each person a __________________________ as a gift. TOPIC FAMILY MEMBER ADJECTIVE Everyone is quiet as __________________________ gives a __________________________ speech about __________________________ . FAMILY MEMBER QUESTION __________________________ interrupts her and asks, “__________________________ ?” AMOUNT OF TIME It takes __________________________ to answer her. FAMILY MEMBER TYPE OF OPENING IN A HOUSE Then the ______________________________________ bursts open and __________________________ rushes in, explaining that EXCUSE YOU GIVE FOR COMING LATE ______________________________________________ . FAMILY MEMBER FOOD VERB Someone offers her a plate of __________________________ that __________________________ made and she __________________________ s ADVERB __________________________. GAME FAMILY MEMBER Next, everyone gathers round for a game of __________________________ . __________________________ wins the game and gets a NOUN FAMILY MEMBER __________________________ as a reward. She gives it to __________________________ because she/he once FAVOR THAT YOU DO FOR A PERSON . _____________________________________________ FAMILY MEMBER VEHICLE Finally, it’s time to go home. Everyone piles into __________________________ ’s __________________________ for a ride home, except for FAMILY MEMBER __________________________ who stays behind to clean up.

PLAY Game objective: Going around the table, ﬁll the blanks in your story by asking each person for a word to ﬁll a blank. Of course, don’t share the context of the story until you’re done and have a wacky tale to read out loud!

36 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Pic ‘n Caption If the notion of drawing makes you run for the hills — don’t. Stick ﬁgures are modern art, and the worse you are at drawing a straight line, the more uproarious this game is.

PLAY PREP LIST: • Pen • Paper • Weird scene in mind

Game objective: Each player gets a pen and paper and writes a sentence at the top with as vivid imagery as they can muster. Seriously, go bananas with this one. Next, everyone passes their paper to the left, and each player should draw a picture depicting the sentence on the paper they just got. Before passing this paper to the left once again, everyone folds the sentence over, leaving only the picture, which the next person must describe with an appropriate caption. Everyone then folds over the picture so only the caption remains and passes it on. All players must now draw a picture representing the caption they got. These steps are repeated until the sheets are full and there are many tall tales to read aloud!

Object Mania

Candy Facts

Of course, objects. Because that’s how we leave to Chanukah parties, with our ears ringing with reminders to not forget “your blintzes and grab bags for the kids and an object for the game!” In this particular instance you get to bring two objects, give your short-term memory a whopping workout, and take home some extremely random items.

This game is light, fun and versatile. Use your creativity to come up with really interesting questions!

PREP LIST:

Each participant should bring two random objects from their home. Look around your house to ﬁnd them; they’re tucked into forgotten corners like your laundry shelves and junk drawer. You’ll be giving them away, so be nice. Here are some objects I remember playing with at a party at work: an air freshener (mine, I didn’t enjoy the smell and was surprised to see my workmates hankering for it), a can of tuna, a comb, a scented thingamajig to hang in the car, a mini sewing kit (I won it and still use it), etc.

A pack of sweets. You’ll need a few different colors, but not too many. See why: A question key that the players will follow, corresponding to the candy colors. For example: Red candy = embarrassing moment. Green candy = an item on your wishlist. Yellow = someone you admire and why. And so on.

PLAY

Game objective: Remember what other players are holding as the items change hands at a dizzying pace. To begin, one player at a time holds up her items and names them aloud. Once all objects have been seen and named, they are to be held under the table throughout the game except for when they are in transit to another player. Absolutely no peeking. Let the fun begin! Going around the table, each person can request and receive any one item from another player as long as: 1) they remember which player has the item in question, and 2) this item was not requested in the previous turn. Once an item is requested, a turn must pass before it is requested again. If the player requests an item from the wrong person, she is out of the game and gets to keep whatever’s in her hands at the moment. Example: Shaindy asks Ruchie for the comb. If Ruchie doesn’t have it, Shaindy is out. If she does have it, she gives it to Shaindy, who holds it under the table. If Leah’s turn is next, she cannot ask Shaindy for the comb she just got from Ruchie. But Chany, whose turn comes after Leah’s, can. Enjoy this frenzy of focus to get your mini gifts!

Game objective: Pass around the sweets and urge everyone to take as many as they’d like. Then have a good laugh when you tack up the question key and everyone sees how their indulgence pays off! Start going around the table. Everyone must answer the questions corresponding to the colors and amount of candy they chose. So yes, if a player helped herself to ﬁve yellow candies, she’d better have admired that many people!

PREP LIST:

Enjoy your party prep and remember that the less seriously you take yourself, the grander a time you will have. Ah freilichen Chanukah! Reprinted with permission from The Monsey View

DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

chanukah T R AV E L O G U E AFGHANISTAN

The Afghan Jews have a long and complicated history with the Muslim government, resulting in Jews feeling the need to hide their religious identity. For Chanukah, they could not light a menorah, as the glow would attract attention from neighbors and authorities. Instead, they filled small plates with oil and set them beside each other.

ENGLAND

London's Trafalgar Square lights up every year with a giant menorah. The lighting has become an annual event drawing thousands. London alone is home to over 250,000 Jews, and England is home to even more Jewish citizens celebrating all over the country.

I TALY

On Tishah B’Av, the Book of Eicha is often read in complete darkness. There is an Italian custom of saving the candle that was used to help us read on Tishah B’Av to help us light the menorah during Chanukah. On Tishah B’Av, we mourn the destruction of the Holy Temple; on Chanukah, we celebrate its rededication. Using the same candle for both occasions connects the two events: On Tishah B’Av we are sad, but on Hanukkah we rejoice as we rekindle this same light as the shamash for our festival of freedom. Since 160 BC Jews have lived in Rome. The capital celebrates with a 20-foot-high menorah lit at Piazza Barberini. The Italians also dine on precipizi, small fried balls of dough sweetened with warm honey and enjoyed with wine.

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ALGERIA

In Algeria, it is customary to hang the menorah on a hook in the doorway, beside the mezuzah. Putting the menorah near the mezuzah was thought to enhance the protection already offered by the mezuzah. If you look at menorahs made in North Africa, you will notice that many have a ring at the top, as well as a flat metal backing, so that the menorah could be safely hung. Rav Shmuel from Difti said: … The halakhah is to place [the menorah] on the left so that the Hanukkah lamp will be on the left and the mezuzah on the right. Then, one who enters the house will be surrounded by mitzvot.

CHINA

The first Jews arrived in Kaifeng, one of the capitals of imperial China, during the eighth or ninth century. However, the population completely dwindled by the mid-nineteenth century. The establishment of diplomatic relations between China and Israel in 1992 rekindled an interest in Judaism, prompting a revival. Kaifeng Jews who had left the country now return, celebrating Chanukah by lighting menorahs and hosting gatherings for prayer.

Have you ever wondered how Chanukah is celebrated around the world? While you may think that everyone is eating latkas or spinning dreidels, take a tour of how the rest of the world does it!

CUBA

Cubans use plantains in the same way Americans and Canadians use potatoes: mashing them, baking them, and frying them. Cuban Jews make fried plantains, otherwise known as tostones or patacones, for their Chanukah celebrations.

SYRIA

The Jews of Aleppo were descendants of Sephardic Jews expelled from Spain in 1492. When they finally found a safe haven in Syria, they vowed to light an additional shamash (helper candle) on Chanukah as a sign of thanks.

FRANCE

In the wine-making region of Avignon in southern France, it is customary to end the Shabbat that falls during Chanukah by opening a new bottle or cask of wine. After Havdalah, Jews would travel around the neighborhood to various homes, tasting the wines and toasting to the miracle of Chanukah. In the Alsace region, Jews use a double menorah with space for 16 lights rather than the traditional eight, so a father and son can both light a candle together.

GERMANY

In honor of the Jewish community in Germany, a large menorah is lit in front of Berlin's Brandenburg Gate to replace the memories of anti-Semitic rallies that occurred in the same spot before and during the Second World War.

KURDISTAN

Although there is no longer a distinguishable population of Jews in Kurdistan, many Kurdish Jews still observe two unusual Chanukah customs. The first is similar to the giving of gelt, but with a twist: a week before the holiday, children lock the doors to their rooms. Their parents must give them coins in order to gain entry. The second custom was developed by Jews too poor to afford a hanukkiyah. They used eggshells as cups for wicks and oil, lighting the required number of cracked shells every night.

MOROCCO

Jews in Morocco extended the joy of Chanukah into a 9th day, which became known as “the day of the shamash.” On that day, children would go from house to house, collecting leftover cotton wicks that Moroccan Jews use in place of Chanukah candles. At sundown, the wicks are ignited to create a large bonfire, and each community gathers to sing, dance and even leap over the fire, which was believed to bring good luck to the jumper, especially to women seeking a partner or struggling to conceive. Jews in Morocco don’t make latkes. Instead they create citrus-flavored doughnuts called sfenj, made with orange juice and zest, which are in season at that time of year.

MEXICO

In Spanish, Chanukah is known as Januca or Lucenarias – the feast of lights. Mexican children play a game called toma todo (winner takes all), which is similar to the version of dreidel that we play except the top has six sides instead of four. The toma toda dreidel is known as a pirinola.

AUSTRALIA ISRAEL

Before the establishment of the State of Israel in the 20th century, Jews lived in Jerusalem for centuries and followed the ruling that the menorah’s lights needed to be placed outside the home for all to see. This decree originates in the Talmud (Shabbat 21b), where the sages taught in a beraita: It is a mitzvah to place the Hanukkah lamp at the entrance to one’s house on the outside, so that all can see it. However, Jerusalem winters are often wet and windy, so the community began crafting aquarium-like glass boxes to protect their flames. Inside, Jerusalem Jews put small cups of olive oil and lit a wick to correspond with each night. Some of Jerusalem’s oldest homes even have a shelf carved out of the home’s exterior walls to place the glass boxes in.

RUSSIA

In the center of Moscow a large menorah is lit in Revolution Square. Each year thousands gather to watch the flames light and enjoy the ceremony, which includes a concert with choir singers and traditional songs.

INDIA

Rather than lighting wax candles, Indian Jews dip wicks in coconut oil. Instead of the latkes common in Ashkenazi culture, Chanukah in India often features barfi, a milk-based treat enhanced with sweet fruits.

Since it’s summer in the Southern Hemisphere, families spend the night at home lighting candles together before enjoying a block party the next day to celebrate with the community and commemorate the “festival of lights”. It’s estimated that there are between 100,000 and 150,000 Jews of different streams and movements based in Australia.

TUNISIA

The 7th day of Chanukah coincides with Rosh Chodesh Tevet, which has become a holiday within a holiday for Tunisian Jews. Known as Chag haBanot (Festival of the Daughters), girls and women celebrate the courageous act of Yehudit, the Jewish woman who saved the Jewish nation by killing the general sent by Antiochus. In celebration of the day, women do no work and instead visit each other, eating doughnuts and honey cookies. The holiday is particularly special for young women engaged to be married in the coming year.

COLOMBIA

The Jewish population started arriving in northern Colombia fleeing persecution in the Iberian peninsula during the 16th and 17th centuries. Now there are approximately 8,000 practicing Jews, with the majority in Bogotá. While the Chanukah traditions are fairly typical, one community in Santa Marta eats fried plantains, called patacones, instead of potato latkes.

YEMEN

On the 7th night of Chanukah, Yemenite Jews celebrate women on Chag Habanot, inspired by the heroines of the Torah. It is said that Channah sacrificed seven sons to protect Judaism against Greek pressure to convert, and Yehudit, a woman who seduced and assassinated an Assyrian general to lead the Jewish army to a fantastic win. This is also celebrated in other North African countries. Chag HaBanot festivities vary from community to community, but often include eating sweets and fried treats, dancing, visiting the synagogue to kiss the Torah scrolls and singing well into the night. Girls approaching bat mitzvah age, as well as women who were engaged, were also publicly celebrated during Chag HaBanot.

HUNGARY

Hungary is home to the third largest Jewish community in Europe. In the capital Budapest, now you can expect to see streets strung with lights and huge menorahs through the historic Jewish quarters and events or special Hanukkah menus or dishes on show at local restaurants.

IRAN

Chanukah traditions in Iran are more religious in nature. Here Jewish residents, who have resided in Iran for more than 3,000 years, attend synagogues and temples to attend religious services, read from prayer books, and celebrate the holiday.

TURKEY

Turkey, especially Istanbul, is home to many Sephardic Jews who fled the inquisition in Spain for safety in Turkey. A tradition is to sing a unique song in Ladino dialect called “Ocho Candelas” and eat burmelos, little fried fritters.

ROMANIA

In Romania, as well as other central European communities, Jews would scrape out potatoes, filling each potato space with oil and a wick to serve as the menorah. Rather than putting all eight out at once, each day they would add another potato. While the origin of this custom is unclear, it likely came about due to economic struggles. It is a longstanding practice among North African and Middle Eastern Jewish communities, as well as Haredi Ashkenazi Jews, that as long as the menorah is lit, women refrain from doing melachot, the types of work that are forbidden on Shabbat and holidays. While Hanukkah is not a holiday that requires Jews to refrain from labor, this custom can be traced back to laws codified by both Ashkenazi and Sephardic leaders who ruled, pre-electricity, that the light of the menorah was not to be used for anything besides enjoying the holiday.

DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

While dreidel is the most popular, it should be said that the spinning top is only one of several Jewish games played on Chanukah. Game playing during this chag became popular in part because of the tradition of refraining from working while the Chanukah candles burned. Spin-offs from the dreidel's gambling roots include the card game kvitlech, an intense game of wits and winnings. Some have suggested that both dreidel and card playing became popular Chanukah games for the same reason: Because during the era of persecution that led to the Chanukah miracles, Jewish students would pretend to play with these items to hide the fact that they were illegally studying Torah. However, that is not the case. In fact, it seems that card playing came to be associated with Chanukah mostly because rabbis wanted to limit card playing to a set season rather than allow people to play cards all year long. The thing that makes kvitlach “Jewish” (Besides its Yiddish name which translates loosely to “notes”), is that the deck of cards has no pictures. This goes back to Eastern Europe, where Galician Jews did not want to use cards with idolatry and indecent imagery. They developed their very own kosher deck of cards which is still around today.

T H E GA M E OBJECTIVE

Kvitlech is a banking card game for 5 or more players. It is a betting game where players take turns becoming the bank. Players attempt to win bids by getting to 21 or as close to 21 as possible without going over 21.

M AT E R I A L S

• 2 decks of Kvitlech cards. (Each deck consists of 24 cards. Most packs come with 2 decks - 48 cards.) • Chips or cash for bidding • A ﬂat surface • Number of players: 5+ (If playing with 3-5 players, use only 1 deck)

C A R D VA L U E S

Each deck includes two cards of each number 1 through 12 (24 total). There are four framed cards, the two 2s and the two 11s. Each card’s value is associated with its number. There are two exceptions: 1. The 12: It can be played as a 9, 10, or 12. Therefore, if a player draws two 12s it would equal 21 (12+9) and an automatic win. 2. Framed cards: the 2s and 11s. If the ﬁrst two cards you receive as a player are both framed, regardless of value, it counts as 21 exactly.

SETUP

1. Banker is selected. All players are dealt a card and the player with the highest card value is the banker. 2. Players vote on an antes (the amount of money deposited in the bank). Either the banker deposits the entire antes or the banker deposits half and the other half is split by the amount of players in the game. (For example: Antes: $20. Player amount: 6. Banker deposits $10. The remaining $10 is divided by 5 other players - each player deposits $2) 3. Players vote on a minimum and maximum betting amount. 4.The banker shuffles the cards. Starting on his/her left, the banker deals each player one card face-down. (Face down means that only the player can see it, not the rest of the players).

Rounds are always played clockwise then counterclockwise, then clockwise again, back and forth until a new banker is appointed. The deck is not reshuffled until there is only one card remaining in the deck. This card is then shuffled with the thrown-in cards by players winning or going bust.

G A M E P L AY Player’s Turn The banker starts with the player to their left, then continues clockwise around the table. A player has three options on their turn: 1. Bet: They place a bet and receive a card face down. A player can ask for more cards face down without increasing their bet. 2.Blot: They do not bet and receive a single card face-up. (Face up means that all players can see the card) 3. Stay: They receive no additional cards. A player can ask for as many cards as they’d like, provided that their total does not go over 21. When you bet, you place the money on the table and the banker detaches an equal amount from the bank to match your bet. The total money staked by the players must not be more than what is currently in the bank. If they only ask for blots, they can neither lose nor win anything. A player’s turn can end in a couple of ways: 1. They can bust by exceeding 21. This means they lose and discard their cards. Any bets they have placed are provided to the bank. 2. They can get 21 exactly. When this happens, they show it to the banker, and they win their bet plus the match amount from the bank immediately. If neither of those happens, their ﬁnal outcome is they choose to stay, they keep their cards and the amount they bet on the table, and the next player’s turn starts. There is a special rule reserved for players on their turn. If their total ever reaches 11 exactly, they may call “Eleveroon” before asking for another card. This protects them from busting. If they bust, that card is discarded and they are dealt a new one. If they don’t

KNOW THE LINGO! To "loaf" is to forgive part of a player's bet. This is an informal practice - a player who regrets having bet so much can ask the banker to reduce the bet (saying for example: "Loaf for half?" meaning "forgive half the bet?") The banker may agree to this but is under no obligation to do so. "Ink" refers to a large numbered card, as in "I need a lot of ink."

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call “Eleveroon,” they are not protected from busting even if they had exactly 11. If a player bets “Bank” (the whole of the remaining money in the bank), they can continue to ask for cards, but cannot bet any more during that turn. If they do not go bust, then at the end of their turn there will be antes left in the bank for the next player to bet against. At this point, the banker must play to resolve all of the outstanding bets before the game can continue. Banker’s Turn The banker’s turn starts either when all players have busted or stayed, or if at the end of a player’s turn, there is no more ante in the bank for the rest of the players to complete that round. When it is the bank’s turn, they can draw cards as many times as they would like from the top of the deck. A banker has no requirements to follow when taking cards except they may not exceed 21. Once the banker is satisﬁed with their hand, they will reveal it. All players with outstanding bets also reveal their hands. If the bank beats anyone in value they win their bets, and if anyone beats the bank, they get paid both their bet and the matched amount. If the banker busts, they must pay all bets to all players.

THE BANK CHANGES

The bank can change either if it runs out of money or if a player retires. If the bank runs out of money, the round immediately ends and the next player to the right becomes the new banker. Banker retirement requirements: When retiring, the banker must have played three or more rounds. Starting from the fourth round, anytime the banker is dealt a card they may check to see if it is a 4 or a 7. If it is, they may immediately ﬂip it over and retire. They take all the money in the bank and the next player to the right becomes the banker.

END OF THE GAME

The game can be played as long as players wish it to, and players may join or drop out as they wish.

O B TA I N I N G K V I T L E C H

You can either snag an authentic Kvitlech deck on good old Amazon for $17.95, or try a DIY approach. DIY option 1: Use a Skip-Bo set (Which already comes with numbers 1-12) and frame the 2s and 11s with a permanent marker. Tada! You’ve got yourself a deck of Kvitlech. DIY option 2: Use any set of cards and block the original content by painting over it, sticking a white label on, or gluing on a piece of paper that's cut to size. Get those markers and paints out and let your creative juices ﬂow!

Re-Examining Our Chanukah Mission

here was once a public debate between a rabbi and an astrophysicist regarding the nature of our universe. The astrophysicist, representing the atheist perspective, confidently approached the podium and began addressing the audience: “I don’t know much about Judaism, but I believe I can sum it up in a few words: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” With that, he went on to detail how physicists could now adequately explain the nature of our universe, without the need for religion. When he finished his speech, it was the rabbi’s turn to address the audience and represent the religious approach. With a sparkle in his eye, he turned to the crowd, and said: “I don’t know much about astrophysics, but I believe I can sum it up in a few words: twinkle twinkle little star how I wonder what you are.” With that, he went on to deliver the rest of his speech. The Age-Old Debate Spiritual debate has been a recurring phenomenon since the beginning of time. Chanukah is when we tap into the spiritual debate between the Jews and the Greeks, as the Greeks specifically attempted to destroy our spiritual way of life. They aimed to cut off our connection with Hashem and replace it with the worship of the natural, physical world. Yavan, the Hebrew name for the Greeks, means quicksand (Tehillim 69:3)the Greeks sought to “drown” us in their secular culture, replacing spirituality with atheism and hedonism. The Midrash says that the Greeks attempted to darken our eyes“hichshichah eineihem” (Bereishis Rabbah 2:4). Darkness represents a lack of clarity, the inability to perceive true form. Physical darkness prevents physical clarity, spiritual darkness prevents spiritual clarity. This was the Greek attack on the Jewish People: a distortion of truth, a darkening of knowledge and perception. For this reason, the Jewish People went to war against the mighty Greek army, and to this day we carry on that fight against Greek culture, a culture that we view as damaging and antithetical to Judaism. Greek Culture However, if we take a deeper look into Jewish literature, we find a strikingly different picture of the Greek nation and their culture. In Parshas Noach, Noach blesses his two sons, Shem and Yefes, with a seemingly peculiar bracha: “Yaft Elokim l’Yefes, v’yishkon b’ohalei Shem,” Hashem will grant beauty to Yefes, and he (Yefes) will dwell within the tents of Shem. Yefes is the precursor to the Greeks, and Shem to the Jews. This seemingly paints the Greeks in a positive light, as a beautiful nation fitting to dwell within the framework and boundaries

of Judaism. In a similar vein, the Gemara (Megillah 9b) states that despite the general prohibition of translating the Torah into different languages, it is permissible to translate the Torah into Greek due to the beauty of the language. According to both of these sources, it seems as though Greek culture does not contradict Judaism, but is meant in some way to complement it, harmonizing with Jewish ideology. How can we understand this contradiction? In order to explain it, we must first develop a deep spiritual principle. The Spiritual-Physical Relationship How do we understand and perceive Hashem? Is Hashem within time and space, limited to this world alone, as Pantheists believe? Or is Hashem completely transcendent, beyond time, space, and this physical world, as many of the ancient philosophers believed? The Jewish approach, as explained by the Rambam, Maharal, Ramchal, and others, is a beautifully nuanced blend of these two approaches. Hashem is transcendent, completely beyond our physical world of time and space, and yet, He is also immanent, within our physical world. This principle applies to all spirituality; we believe that the spiritual and transcendent is deeply connected to the limited and physical world. In other words, our physical world is a projection and emanation of a deeper, spiritual reality. This is the meaning behind the famous Midrash, “Istakel bi’oraisa, u’bara alma”, Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world (Bereishis Rabbah 1:1). This means that the physical world is an emanation and expression of the Torah, the spiritual root of existence. To give an analogy, imagine a projector: the image you see on the screen is emanating from the projector. The projector and film are the source, the image on the screen is the expression. Similarly, each and every one of us was once a zygote, half and male and half a female genetic code. From that single cell a fully developed and expressed human being ultimately manifested. The same is true regarding the physical world, it stems from a spiritual root, a transcendent dimension. Thus, we are able to understand and experience the spiritual through the physical, as the two are intrinsically connected. If you’re wondering how to understand this concept, consider the way other human beings experience, relate to, and understand you. All they have ever seen is your physical body. They’ve never seen your thoughts, your consciousness, or your emotions. The only way they can understand you is by relating to how you express yourself and your internal world through your physical body. Through your words, actions, facial expressions, and body language, other people experience what’s

going on inside of your body, inside of your head, inside of you. The same is true regarding our experience of Hashem and the spiritual. We can’t see spirituality, only physicality. We must therefore use the physical to connect back to the spiritual root. The Battle of Chanukah The Greeks sought to uproot this Jewish perspective, to detach the physical world from its higher root. They claimed that human beings have no connection to anything higher than the physical world itself, and that it’s therefore impossible to connect to Hashem. As the Ramban explains (Ramban Al Ha’Torah, Vayikra 16:8), the Greeks believed only that which the human intellect could grasp. Anything that requires spiritual sensitivity, that transcends rational proof alone, was dismissed as false. Even the Greeks gods were glorified humans- as anything that transcended the physical, human world was dismissed. In essence, the Greeks served themselves. The Jewish Perspective The Jewish approach is much more nuanced. We embrace human intellect and reason but are aware of a realm that transcends it. We recognize the wisdom of science, medicine, psychology, mathematics, and other forms of worldly wisdom, but also recognize a higher form of wisdom, the Torah. As the Vilna Gaon explains, where logic and human intellect ends, Jewish wisdom begins. The reasoning behind this principle is based on the aforementioned idea: the physical world is an expression of the spiritual world. Just as the physical world stems from a higher, spiritual realm, physical wisdom is an expression of a higher form of wisdom, the Torah. While the wisdom of the physical world is true, it stems from a higher truth, the Torah. Torah is the absolute foundation and root; all physical wisdom is its expression. The Ideal Relationship The ideal is for the physical wisdom of the Greeks and Yefes to reside within the tent of Shem, for science and the wisdom of the world to be in harmony with Torah. The problem occurred only once the Greeks denied the existence of anything beyond their independent intellectual wisdom. This was the battle of Chanukah. The Greeks tried to destroy the Torah, which contradicted their ideology, and the Jews were forced to fight for their beliefs, to defend their spiritual connection with Hashem and the transcendent wisdom of Torah. Rav Hutner explains that Chanukah is the chag of Torah Sheba’al Peh, the Oral Torah. Chanukah is the one holiday with no source in Torah Shebiksav. Unlike Purim,

it does not even have a Megillah; it is completely of Rabbinic origin. Furthermore, it doesn’t even have a Mishna; the only canonized source for Chanukah is a few Gemaras which mention Chanukah in an almost coincidental manner. Why is this so? Chanukah represents the battle against the Greeks. The Greeks claimed that the only source of truth is the human intellect; nothing transcends human logic. The Jews not only showed that there is a transcendent source of truth, but took it one step further. When done appropriately, with humility and proper recognition of the Torah’s transcendent root, the limited human being can actually use his human intellect to participate in the creation of Torah. This is the unbelievable nature of Torah Sheba’al Peh: human beings are given the ability to participate and even create novel Torah ideas and insights. The greatest victory over the Greeks wasn’t to simply prove that transcendent Torah exists; it was to reveal that even the human intellect can connect to Torah, even limited human beings can connect to the infinite. Our Place of Connection The Greeks tried to spiritually destroy our Beis Ha’Mikdash, the point of connection to the transcendent, where Hashem most intimately connects to this physical world. After our victory on Chanukah, we reignited the flame of that spiritual building, and every year since, we must reignite that same flame within our own homes; we must inaugurate our own personal Beis Ha’mikdash. Every day, we get to choose whether we’ll become further entrenched in secular and Greek culture, or if we’ll build our connection to the infinite, the transcendent, and carry the message of Chanukah deep within our hearts. Our life is like building a personal Beis Ha’Mikdash, building an ever-deeper and ever-closer relationship with Hashem. It’s the result of every brick we lay down; every day is like another brick, another opportunity to add to our eternal home, our eternal self, our eternal existence. __________________________________ Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is a bestselling author, international speaker, and the CEO of Self-Mastery Academy. He is also a business, executive, and leadership coach, with a unique approach based on Torah values and principles. His bestselling book, The Journey to Your Ultimate Self, serves as an inspiring gateway into deeper Jewish thought. After obtaining his BA from Yeshiva University, he received Semicha from Yeshiva University’s RIETS, a master’s degree in education from Azrieli Graduate School, and a master’s degree in Jewish Thought from Bernard Revel Graduate School, and then spent a year studying at Harvard as an Ivy Plus Scholar. He currently lives in Chicago with his wife and son where he is pursuing a PhD at the University of Chicago. To enjoy more of Rabbi Reichman’s content, to contact him, or to learn more about his services, visit his website: ShmuelReichman.com

DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

Chef Nir Weinblut

Chef Nir’s Special Latka recipe Ingredients • 1 1/2 pounds baking potatoes (3 to 4 potatoes) • 1/2 medium yellow onion, peeled and quartered • 1 large egg • 2 tablespoons matzo meal or unseasoned dry breadcrumbs • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 1 cup canola oil or chicken schmaltz, or a combination of both • Applesauce and sour cream, for serving

Directions 1.

Heat the oven and fit one baking sheet with paper towels and another with a cooling rack. Arrange a rack in the middle of the oven and heat to 200°F. Line 1 rimmed baking sheet with a double layer of paper towels. Fit a wire cooling rack into another baking sheet. Set both aside. 2. Prepare the potatoes. Scrub the potatoes well, but do not peel. Cut each potato in half crosswise. 3. Grate potatoes and onion with a food processor. Grate the potatoes and onion using the shredding disk of a food processor. 4. Make a cheesecloth tourniquet and squeeze liquid from potato and onion. Transfer the grated potato and onion onto a large triple layer of cheesecloth. Gather the corners and tie around the handle of a wooden spoon. Dangle the bundle over a large bowl, then twist and

squeeze the potatoes and onion as hard as you can until no more liquid comes out of the potatoes and onion shreds. 5. Pour off the liquid but keep the potato starch. Give the liquid a few minutes to allow the potato starch to settle and then pour off and discard the liquid but leave the potato starch. 6. Toss the latke ingredients together with your fingers. Add the potatoes, onion, eggs, matzo meal or breadcrumbs, salt, and pepper to the bowl of starch. Mix with your fingers, making sure that the potato starch breaks up and is evenly distributed with the rest of the ingredients. Set batter aside for 10 minutes. 7. Heat the oil. Place the oil or schmaltz (or a combination of the two) in a large skillet so that when melted there is a depth of 1/4 inch (for a 10-inch skillet you’ll need 1 cup of melted oil/ schmaltz). Heat over medium-high heat until a

piece of the latke mixture sizzles immediately. 8. Form latkes one at a time. Scoop 1/4 cup of the mixture onto a fish or flat spatula. Flatten with your fingers to a 4-inch patty. 9. Fry the latkes until golden on both sides. Slide the latke into the hot oil, using a fork to nudge the latke into the pan. Repeat until the pan is full but the latkes aren’t crowded. Cook until deeply golden-brown, 4 to 5 minutes per side, adjusting the heat if necessary. 10. Drain the latkes. Transfer the latkes to a paper towel-lined baking sheet to drain for 2 minutes. 11. Serve with applesauce and sour cream or keep warm in the oven. Serve immediately with applesauce and sour cream, or transfer the latkes to the wire cooling rack set in the baking sheet and keep warm in the oven for up to 30 minutes while you continue cooking the rest of the latkes.

RECIPE NOTES • Make ahead: Latkes are best made and served right away. They can be fried and kept warm in a 200°F oven for up to 30 minutes. • Storage: Refrigerate leftovers in an airtight container and recrisp in a 300°F for 5 to 10 minutes. Keep a close eye on the latkes when reheating so they do not burn. • Doubling: The recipe can be doubled, although you will need an extra sheet of cheesecloth to squeeze the extra potato and onion shreds. The oil (and schmaltz, if using) will need to be replaced halfway through frying. Pour the used oil into a heatproof bowl, wipe out the skillet, then heat fresh oil and continue frying.

42 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Mole Dipping Sauce Ingredients:

• 2 tablespoons olive oil • 1 medium onion, chopped • 2 tablespoons chopped garlic, minced • 1-2 chipotle peppers in adobo depending on how spicy you like it • 2 teaspoons adobo sauce • 16 ounces diced tomatoes or whole tomatoes • 3 teaspoons onion powder • 2 cups chicken broth • 2 teaspoons chili powder • 1/2 teaspoon coriander • 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon • 1 teaspoon smoked paprika • 1/2 cup water or chicken stock (Keep Parve) • 1 teaspoon coarse sea salt • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 2 ounces unsweetened chocolate

Directions: 1.

4. 5.

7. 8.

Place a pot over medium heat and add the oil. Add the onion and garlic, stirring often for 5 minutes until softened and fragrant. Add the chipotle pepper, adobo sauce, and tomatoes. Stir to combine. Reduce to a simmer and allow to cook for 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Carefully pour the mixture into a high-powered blender. Add chicken broth or water, chili powder, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Blend until well combined. Return the mixture to the pot over medium heat. Cook to reduce for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the chocolate and stir until melted. Once it is melted it is ready to serve

Jalapeno Dipping Sauce Ingredients:

• 4 jalapenos, halved • 2 cups loosely packed cilantro, stems removed • 1/2 cup sour cream • 2 cloves garlic • Juice of 1 lime • Pinch of salt • 1/2 cup olive oil • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar

Directions: Combine jalapenos, cilantro, sour cream, garlic, lime juice, and salt in the bowl of a food processor. With the motor running, add olive oil and vinegar in a slow stream until emulsified.

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DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

11 Things to Consider before you Start Dating for Marriage: Mrs. Sheindy Gross

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We do not walk down the wedding aisle and magically become the spouse and parent we had always hoped to be. Midos development begins well in advance of marriage itself. Have you already begun this journey? Are you ready to give of yourself to another? Do you understand what giving is about? Are you able to accept that even the greatest and best of all marriages come with some measure of disappointment? The relationship you have when you are dating is not the same relationship you will have once you are married. The expectations change and hopefully you will each grow and mature. Are you aware of that? Do you recognize that marriage requires flexibility? Have you given yourself the time to develop who you are as an individual person? What are your personal interests and hobbies? Have you thought about what your life goals are? Are you able to be close to another person and also give them personal space when they need it? Are you able to take personal space but stay connected and not abandon the relationship? In marriage, compatibility is just as important as attraction. When you are attracted to another person it is more about the connection of your neshamos and your chemistry, than it is about their physical features. Do you have a mentor or coach who knows you well and with whom you are comfortable discussing your dating journey? An independent voice outside family and close friends is invaluable.

44 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

__________________________________________ With over 30 years in education, Mrs. Sheindy Gross started her career teaching Judaic Studies in Yavneh Hebrew Academy, and then went on to high school leadership in Bnos Devorah and Valley Torah Girls High schools where she served as principal. Her passion for education has now led her to create a new platform called TEHILA, Torah Education with Heart in LA, for women and girls to receive adult education and advisement. In addition to TEHILA, Mrs. Gross provides dating and relationship mentoring for teenagers, singles and women, as well as leadership consulting for educators. Mrs. Gross can be reached at sheindyg@gmail.com or (323) 6846448.

Hacks for Life and Learning Miriam Hendeles

he other day I rummaged through some old sheet music organized by composer and genre on a shelf. My reason for the sudden ambition in exploring old music books when everything can be found online these days was pure nostalgia. I was looking for a particular Beethoven sonata, the Moonlight Sonata, which I had learned to play as a teenager. I was hoping to learn the piece even though I knew it would be challenging to study and master (again) this first movement in one of Beethoven’s famous sonatas. The good news is that this movement is a slow (easier than fast) movement, typical for first movements of classical sonatas that have three or four movements. And yet, I knew I’d have to take the time to learn it over a period of several days to a week or even more, because it’s a difficult piece with large stretches of the hand, many accidentals (black keys), and tricky fingerings. Also, the music has the feature of left hand and right hand alternating carrying the melody, which can be a challenge. While in college, I developed various study skill techniques. The key is to learn

how to learn, as is the case in all subjects. Once, when my piano professor was showing me a hack for playing octaves quickly without tiring my wrist out, I asked him in wonder, “Wow, do you use these techniques also?” (He laughed!) Yes, professionals need hacks, just like amateurs do. I think back to that question I asked of the professor. It’s easy to dismiss the hard stuff by thinking that only we have it hard. Everyone struggles and everyone has things to resolve, whether they are learning piano music or whatever skill. The key is to find the hacks that work by asking for advice and practicing the skills, and it’s worth it. And the best part of these hacks is that once you’ve used them for one piece of music, you can usually use them for another piece of music. All it takes is practicing the skill and then the courage to apply it in different situations. One step at a time. ___________________________________ Miriam Hendeles, MT-BC is a music therapist who works with elderly and hospice clients in private homes and senior facilities. She’s written articles on the midlife experience and other topics for various Jewish magazines and is the author of two books. “Mazel Tov! It’s a Bubby,” and “Best Foot Forward.”

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818-823-4006 DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home |

Is Chanukah Gift Giving a Jewish Custom?

here are no halachos or Talmudic roots behind giving gifts on Chanukah. The concept of giving gifts on Chanukah seems like a modern tradition, occurring mostly in the U.S., Canada, and a few other Western countries. Middle Eastern, North African, South American, European, and other older cultures do not have a practice of giving gifts to family members on Chanukah. Many claim that the Jewish custom of giving Chanukah gifts in America is to compete with and combat against the popular and extravagant Christmas gift-giving. During this season, gift-giving is highly commercialized in the U.S. and Canada, and American Jews wanted to create celebration and joy for their own children during the winter holiday season. The popularization of gift-giving on Chanukah only began in the 19th century. There is, however, a history of gift-giving and it started with the gelt. And Jewish gelt may have originated during Chanukah. When the Maccabees defeated the Greeks and were able to gain their independence, they began to mint their own coins as a symbol of national independence and autonomy. Chanukah commemorates this independence, as do the coins (the gelt) developed at that time. The idea of giving gelt on Chanukah originated in Eastern Europe in the 18th century. At that time, teachers were not paid to teach Torah, but students wanted a way to “pay” their teachers and show appreciation. So they began the custom of giving gelt to their Torah teachers at Chanukah time. The gelt was given by parents to their children, for their children to give to their teachers. In time, money was also given to children to keep the gelt for themselves. According to the Magen Avraham, it was the custom for poor yeshiva students to visit the homes of Jewish benefactors who dispensed Chanukah money (Orach Chaim 670). Due to this origin, many families today give money for Chanukah instead of gifts because it is more of the authentic Jewish tradition. Parents often give children chocolate gelt to play the dreidel games. In the 1920s, Loft’s, an American candy company, produced the first chocolate gelt, wrapped in gold or silver foil in mesh pouches resembling money bags. Regarding actual gelt (money), parents and grandparents may give sums of money as an official Chanukah gift.

46 | DECEMBER 7, 2023 | The LA Jewish Home

Another reason for the custom of giving gelt is to teach children to give tzedakah. Some families had the tradition of giving gelt every night of Chanukah. Even today, in Hasidic communities, the Rebbes distribute coins to those who visit them during Chanukah. Hasidic Jews consider this to be an auspicious blessing from the Rebbe and a segulah for success. The amount is usually in small coins. Some would argue that giving gifts is ironic because, at a time when we are celebrating our independence as a nation, we want to remove ourselves from the materialism of the Greeks. We should not be giving gifts, which is similar to the Christmas holiday, where gifts are given. We are not in competition with those holidays, which have become commercialized. The idea behind gifts on Chanukah is mostly to bring joy and excitement to our children’s lives. There are many other times we incentivize Torah learning for young children, or even older teens and young adults when we make a Siyum upon completion of a Mesechte. We want to teach them and encourage them with the idea that Judaism is sweet, fun, and lively. It is not to compete with the goyish holidays or make comparisons. Rather, it’s a time to celebrate the spiritual victory of Judaism that the Greeks attempted to destroy. In order to keep spirituality at the forefront of their lives, the Jews at the time of the Maccabees needed to rededicate themselves to Hashem and His mitzvot. The word “Chanukah” shares a root with the word “Chinuch,” which means education. The way we educate the future generations, the children, is how we keep the spiritual bedrock of Judaism alive. Sometimes this involves incentives, gifts, money, and other material objects to make Torah learning exciting and to allow it to continue. It’s important to find other ways during Chanukah to create joy and have celebrations that are not related to receiving gifts. Chanukah parties with family and friends, giving to others less fortunate, gathering to light the Menorah with others, singing, playing dreidels, and eating fried yummy foods are all ways to bring joy to the holiday. While giving gifts has now become routine and acceptable, we must also use the opportunity to find other ways to imbue tradition and meaning into Chanukah.

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