April 4, 2024

•Generous

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Dear Readers, CONTENTS

After the death of Aharon’s two sons, Moshe tells Aharon and his two living sons not to conduct the traditional mourning rituals, because they are needed to continue serving in the Beit Hamikdash. This makes me think of the times where we need to put ourselves aside in order to do something for someone else or for the klal. For example, there were two instances recently where I heard of someone passing away immediately before or during Shabbos. Close family members and friends purposely refrained from telling others on Shabbos because we have a halacha not to mourn on Shabbos or be sad.

Other times, one needs to put their personal feelings aside in order to be there for someone else. First we take care of our obligation to another, and then afterwards we can deal with whatever is going on inside of us. Though some would disagree with me, and say we need to care for ourselves first, put on our own oxygen masks before helping another, I am speaking about the sometimes, not the always.

Also, in this week’s parsha, for the first time, we see the Birkat Kohanim that Aharon says after the first karbanos are accepted by Hashem. These famous three lines are known all over the world, not just by the Jewish people.

Yet it’s a standard in our world. We say it daily in shul, parents bless their children with this saying every Friday night before Kiddush, and people also use it as a send-off for safe travels when someone is moving away or going on a long trip.

I can imagine all the many times that Jews would have to leave their country of origin, leaving

family members behind, either to run from persecution (Eastern Europe and Middle Eastern countries), or moving for new opportunities (like those who went to America). Never knowing if they would ever see each other again in their lifetime, these were the words that one would say when parting.

May Hashem keep you, provide for you, watch over you.

May Hashem keep you safe and protected.

May Hashem bless you with success and good fortune.

May Hashem give you strength, peace, serenity, and stability.

May you always find the face of Hashem wherever you go.

May Hashem lead you favorably and redirect you when you go astray.

We also know there is something very powerful in the spreading of the hands that the Kohanim do when blessing a congregation during Birkat Kohanim, we feel the holiness emanating from the front of the shul to the back when it is sung, in a drawn out way, on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. Parents put both their hands on their children’s head when giving this prayer. Even adult children bend down in front of their parents to receive this special prayer. The open hands are the symbol through which Hashem’s blessings come.

Wishing you a Shabbos filled with peace and prayer,

INBOX

Dear Editor,

I would like to respectfully add another dimension to the question posed by “Exhausted Mom,” published in the #24 edition of The LAJH. When a child is having frequent meltdowns, crying non-stop, we need to understand that sometimes his or her needs surpass that which can be supported by any parent or well-meaning advice alone. Often a child like this needs extra interventions. I hope Zevi doesn’t have any greater needs beyond that which his parents can address, but I know that there are many, many parents out there with children who are wired differently and greatly benefit from interventions and assessments by qualified therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, developmental pediatricians, or behaviorists, for example. These specialists can help guide parents and identify key causes of behaviors that may otherwise remain misunderstood, or worse, leave both child and parents suffering from shame and feelings of failure. The more information you have, the more you can understand and ultimately, G-d willing, better help your child. A caveat: Know that when you reach out looking for a psychologist or mental-health counselor, etc, everyone has different degrees, experience and qualifications, so do your research.

There are many resources in Los Angeles and the best resources are not necessarily the most pricey ones. For example, did you know that Maor provides FREE advocacy services to the ENTIRE Jewish community? Maor’s staff social worker is available to all families as a resource for those who have a child with above-average needs. You can contact sbenarroch@maorla.com. Other resources could be Relief or JFSLA. A parent should never feel that he or she is failing when regular parenting strategies don’t work.

–Bracha K.

a person is affected by his upbringing, yet is able to make a 360 degree turnabout if he so wishes.

Mrs. Cunin expressed the work of Lubavitch shluchos so beautifully. I take my hat off for all of them.

Last but not least, I love your foreword every time. It is real, deep, and sometimes raw too.

Keep up your good work!

Best wishes,

–Raizy Brief

Dear Elan Javanfard,

I happened to be up in LA last week (we live in south Orange County) and picked up the LA Jewish Home magazine. I want you to know I found your Journey To Resilience article interesting, informative, and beautiful. It was very touching to hear about your interactions with the children who were missing their fathers.

Your suggestions about care for trauma survivors as well as caregivers is particularly important and valuable to all people. I find myself thinking about applying these lessons for many of us who are understandably emotionally stressed about the upcoming general election in November. So many of us are traumatized by the current political environment here. Nobody knows what the future holds for us.

It is often difficult to think positively and find meaning when life brings about unforeseen stress. I myself can’t imagine how the hostages’ families continue to cope and manage everyday life not knowing anything about their loved ones. Your words about self-soothing, finding meaning in daily activities, and staying connected to your social circle were very uplifting.

Thank you for this important message. May you and your family receive all of Hashem’s blessings, and enjoy a memorable and fulfilling upcoming Pesach.

Sincerely,

Dear Editor,

Thank you for writing this great article on Shai Graucher! Everyone should know about him and contribute to his unstoppable projects. He is a household word in Israel.

–M.F.

Dear Editor, I just wanted to drop you a few lines to let you know how much I enjoy your newspaper. It is very informative, diverse, and keeps me in the loop about what’s going on in our beautiful Jewish community. I love the articles on shidduchim, parenting, the many Chessed projects around town for our locals as well as Eretz Yisroel.

Rabbi Nir’s clips are very humorous as well as thought provoking.

This past week I was blown away by the piece on the Ger tzedek from Orange County. It is quite amazing to see how much

HAVE THE MISHNAH BERURAH ON HILCHOS PESACH AT YOUR FINGERTIPS

Authored by Rav Zev Hofstedter, head of Bais Horaah

Ziv Ha’Halachah, KITZUR HALACHOS: PESACH clarifies hundreds of common and practical halachos of Pesach and Chol Hamoed in a clear and concise format.

–Deborah Markowitz

Lou’s Views

Clarification:

In last week’s top 10, I made reference to the price of a slice of Nagila pizza being expensive. It was not meant to be taken as true. Their prices are reasonable and are in line with every other restaurant. I particularly enjoy their stuffed-crust pizza. So do yourself a favor and make tomorrow a Nagila day!

THE REVISED AND EXPANDED SEFER INCLUDES:

• Cleaning for Pesach • Proper chometz removal

• Mechiras Chometz • Hagalas Keilim

• The mitzvos of matzah, maror, arba kosos and the Seder With Pesach fast approaching, this sefer as well as KITZUR HALACHOS: YOM TOV AND CHOL HAMOED will help you properly prepare and experience the joyous Yom Tov of Pesach.

ATIME Hosts Two Events for LA Couples

ATIME is dedicated to supporting couples on their path to parenthood, not only through medical guidance but also by hosting enriching monthly gatherings in many communities throughout the United States. These events offer a welcoming space for couples to connect and unwind.

Recently, the Los Angeles group enjoyed a Tu B’Shvat-themed charcuterie board decorating class and a creative pottery painting night for couples, both of which were met with heartfelt appreciation from participants. They expressed how refreshing it was to step out and engage in these activities. Recognizing the challenges that couples face, these gatherings are a delightful respite, allowing them to indulge in laughter and creativity. For details on upcoming events, contact us at events@atime. org or call 718-686-8912 ext 215.

LA Girls Race With Runnergize

On Sunday, March 17th, the LA Marathon was not the only race in town. At Hazeltine Park in Sherman Oaks, 17 Runnergize LA Girls ages 8-14 from schools across the city completed an 8-week training program running their final race of the season, and reached their goal of either a 5k or 10k. Lots of family and friends were there to support and cheer on the girls. In addition, women from the community joined and ran or walked as well, including runners from the Runnergize Adult Women’s Virtual Program who continued their training from the winter session that had just recently ended. All of the girls crossed the finish line, even one girl who was slightly injured managed to complete her final lap safely with the help of her sisters. She was an inspiration to all of us, showing everyone present how never to give up! We are so proud of our Runnergize girls and look forward to the Spring session around the corner!

Runnergize training programs take place throughout the year during the winter, spring, summer & fall sessions for adults (virtually) & kids (in person in Passaic, Brooklyn, Monsey & Los Angeles). Our Spring programs begin soon! Contact runnergize@gmail.com or call/text Ariella Teichman at (323) 712-1551 for more information.

Chai Lifeline’s i-Shine Program Brings Purim Joy

At Chai Lifeline, we believe in bringing light to those who need it most. For families facing illness or loss, holidays can be overshadowed by pain and stress and even go uncelebrated. That’s why we recently hosted Purim carnivals at our i-Shine programs across Los Angeles. i-Shine is our after-school program for children facing the illness or loss of a parent or sibling. Our goal? To celebrate the joy of Purim and give our i-Shine children a night they would not forget.

With the help of our dedicated i-Shine volunteers, who represent 10 Jewish high schools in our community, we transformed ordinary after-school hours into celebrations. From squeals of excitement over winning “Grogger Golf” to laughter over silly poses at the photo booth, joy permeated the air. For these children, the carnival wasn’t just about having fun – it was a chance to reclaim their childhood, even if just for a couple of hours.

As we wrapped up our third and final carnival, we couldn’t help but feel grateful for the opportunity to make a difference and for the wonderful members of our community who helped make it all possible. While Purim celebrations might be over, i-Shine will continue to be there for children in our community for as long as they need us.

By Sheva Katz, Manager of the i-Shine Program

Yeshivat Yavneh Gets Ready for Purim!

Purim festivities at Yeshivat Yavneh were a blast! Our middle school students organized and planned an incredible carnival for our students! From contests and games, to inflatable mini-golf and obstacle courses, our students enjoyed themselves immensely. They especially enjoyed the delicious hot popcorn and cotton candy that was available to all students throughout the duration of the carnival!

In addition to class costume contests, hamantaschen making, and the Mishloach Manos candy store, a highlight of the day was the TNT Slam Dunk Show, where the entire school gathered to watch high-flying dunks and tricks in the Yavneh gym. Students were mesmerized and enjoyed watching the dunk squad soar through the air!

Costume Day ended with a rocking Purim Chagiga, led by the one and only DJ Ezzy! Simchas Purim was felt throughout, and all students left school ready for Shabbos and excited for Purim!

Momo Nagel prepares to help one of the TNT Dunk Squad members perform a rousing dunk.

(L-R) Zelda Helfand, Molly Orenbuch, and Haddie Silver enjoy the Dunk Show.

The 8th grade girls prepare the Purim Carnival

Rabbi Klyne and Rabbi Lipstein dance with the First Grade Boys at the Purim Chagiga

Yonatan Baseri, Jacques Tabak, Austin Schames, and Yitzy Levine distribute treats at the Mishloach Manot Candy Store

Courageous Purim Costume for Courageous Soldiers

Nearly every year on Purim day since 2013, the Hancock Park community has been treated to a family who parades the neighborhood in full-blown costume, using a theme that often has a matching form of transportation, Shaloch Manos, and other props. They do it to put a smile on people’s faces and enhance the simcha of the chag.

The themes over the years have been so creative, detailed, and sometimes so absurd that passerbyers, including non-Jews, lucky enough to see them on Purim day break out in uncontrollable laughter, are heard murmuring “Who is that? OMG! That’s crazy!” or are simply left awe stricken – the type of reaction when you open your mouth and it stays open in amazement!

To give you a few examples, this family has done everything from dressing up as “five little monkeys jumping on a bed” (while literally towing a real queen-size bed for them to jump on) to converting a Hollywood-style tour van into Noach’s Teivah (while releasing white doves, Yonahs, into the sky), to even dressing up as the founding fathers and mothers of the United States while being escorted around town in horse and buggy. One year, the father of the family and one of his boys were found roaming town in 8-foot tall inflatable baby costumes, with jumbo-sized diapers. The family has won several national Purim contests for their wild handiwork.

It has become such a tradition that Hancock Parkers will wait in anticipation weeks before Purim to see what the family will come up with this year. We’re talking about the Samet family, of course, and, if you’re from the area, you probably already knew that.

But this year, the Samets set out to do something more meaningful and courageous, without foregoing on their usual shtick. In January, Shai, the father of the family and mastermind of each year’s Purim theme, along with his 11-year-old son Moshe Dov, spent a few days in Israel on a solidarity trip with the Orthodox Union. They spent most of their trip trying to give chizuk to displaced families from the North and our brave soldiers fight-

ing on the front lines in Gaza.

After the trip, Shai and family felt a calling to do something on Purim that would show support for our heroes in Israel, especially our chayalim and chayalot, and that would create awareness here in LA for the experiences and struggles they encounter there each day. With this, the 2024 Samet Purim theme was born.

The Samets ordered real IDF uniforms from suppliers in Israel, and for the men, real tactical army gear, including bullet proof helmets and vests, gloves, boots, knee pads, and more, all with the plan to donate every item they purchased to the Tzahal for use after Purim. But that’s not all. They found on Turo.com a driveable, ex-army Hummer vehicle they could rent from someone in the valley. The goal was to mimic nearly everything the Israeli soldiers travel around with during battle, and the Samets would spare no detail. Then came the dog, a bomb-sniffing German Shepherd no less, to round out the look. A few more decorations, including Israeli flag patches and Tzahal flags, were added to the Samet escort, and then they went on their way. While they zipped up and down Highland and La Brea avenues, they blasted songs of “Am Yisrael Chai” and handed out mini camouflage duffle bags as Shaloch Manos stuffed with Israeli-style foods (water canteen, pickles, hummus, pita chips, edible cigaryot, halva, etc).

At first, Mr. Samet was apprehensive about the idea of driving around town in this fashion for safety reasons. But he recounts after the day was over that the feedback was overwhelmingly positive, even from non-Jews. Thumbsups, cheering, honking was what they witnessed throughout the day. And, most touching of all, there were several former chayalim in town or those with family members still fighting in Gaza who came over in tears to embrace them and say, “Kol Hakovod!”

Not surprisingly, pictures of the Samet Tzahal went viral. And the next day, on Shushan Purim, they received countless more messages of gratitude, this time from doctors working in hospitals in Israel and treating injured soldiers. That’s when they knew their Purim theme was another winner. Mi Ke’amcha Yisroel!

Ariela Kauffman

THIS YEAR’S PURIM COSTUME

PREVIOUS YEARS PURIM COSTUMES

Israeli Musicians Heal from October 7 at

Moved by the courage of the Israelis grappling with trauma from October 7th, David Fishof, creator of Rock 'n Roll Fantasy Camp, Invited 10 Israeli musicians to heal through the shared language of music. In a conversation with The LA Jewish Home, David shares the story in his own words.

Where did the spark for this idea originate?

While walking on the streets in Israel during Sukkot, a young lady stopped me. "David, do you remember me? I'm Tair R." I responded, "Yes, I remember you.You're good friends with my son." She mentioned that her husband was a general in the army and his base is one mile from Gaza. She knew he would be thrilled to show me his army base. I was excited to visit, and she arranged for me and my family to go during Chol Hamoed Sukkot.

The general showed us around the base. We spent about four or five hours there, they even demonstrated firing powder. Afterwards, we rushed to catch our flight home, while he was off to a Bruno Mars concert.

What astonished me was how a general in the army could be so completely unaware of the war that would break out only two days later. It was shocking how Israel was caught off guard by the events that unfolded.

Later, in December, I returned to Israel to witness the destruction firsthand. As a son of a Holocaust survivor, this was significant to me. I visited Be’eri and Nir Oz and the site of the Nova festival to see the devastation.

During my visit that day, I attended a funeral, which is where this entire saga began. Someone got up and did a drum solo. I had never seen this at a funeral before. What was probably 10 -15 minutes seemed to me like an hour. This young man, Tuval Haim, was playing in memory of his dead brother, Yotam, who was a drummer of a metal band. He had been kidnapped on October 7th and held hostage by Hamas terrorists. He was tragically and accidentally killed by IDF soldiers. My body just started shaking. I thought “If only I could have only given this guy a chance to come to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp... At least let me bring his brother.”

Can you give us some background on the Rock ‘n Roll Fantasy Camp?

It all started after I pulled off this tour with Ringo Starr and his all Starr band which featured a bunch of famous musicians from different bands. The whole idea of the camp was simple: what if people could live out their rock star dreams, even if just for a short while?

The campers show up, get matched with a band, and are mentored by real celebrity rockers. Toward the end, each band gets up on stage and performs for a live audience. It's a place where music fans can briefly become the rock stars they've always admired, in the company of legendary rock stars. The film “Rock Camp” is featured on Amazon Prime (free) and tells the entire story.

What did it take to get this off the ground?

Sam Grundwerg, the former Consul General in Los Angeles, is a good friend of mine. He is currently the world chairman of Keren Hayasod. That night, he and I had dinner after my visit down south and I shared the idea that’s been brewing in my head all day. "We need to find ten Israeli musicians to bring to my Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp." He was immediately on board. The biggest question was: How quickly can we act?

There are a lot of musicians, but we needed specifically those musicians who are into rock and roll. It was a lot of work on the Keren Hayesod side, finding the right people for us. We met with people over Zoom. We heard their stories. We had to put together a whole band. You can't be stuck with ten guitar players. You can only take one or two drummers, one bass player, one guitar player, and singers…

Were there any big hindrances?

It was a terrifying thing to do. I was just on the phone with the head of the McKinsey consulting and a camper of mine, and he was complimenting me about it. He said, 'David, you took a big risk with your business.' And I said, “You know, I know I took a big risk, but I didn't care, because I'm a Jew first. That to me is the most important thing in the world.” I'm getting trolled, people on Yelp are saying Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp is the worst. None of them are campers, I am simply the new target for anti Israel propaganda. But I don't care. I am who I am.

My biggest fear was that if this thing got out in public in advance, the ramifications would be terrible. I would have had protesters. And If they came, it would upset the regular attendees and the Israelis, who've got enough PTSD as it is.

Another issue was if I told the rock stars in advance they'd be playing with bands from Israel, their managers might advise them to cancel. They would say, 'You know what, tell David you'll come to another camp, but don't go to this camp. You don't need to get into the controversy.” The rock stars need to protect their careers.

My other biggest concern was the campers. Many of them come from the Midwest, maybe 5%-10% of them are Jewish. What were they going to say? All I needed was one musician to proclaim, “I didn't pay all this money to jam with these people! Keep your politics home, Mr. Fishof.”

My son-in-law, Rabbi Shlomo Einhorn, said to me, “If you had to close your Rock ‘n Roll business as a result of this, this wouldn't be a bad grand finale.” Meaning that’s

I wasn't going to let my fear stop me.

What actually played out when it was time to face the music?

I didn’t tell the campers until they arrived. Then, before I got into the whole welcome to Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp spiel – you know, the roles, the schedule, all that – I shared something personal. I'd been to Israel to visit the devastation in the south and attended a funeral of a drummer who was one of the hostages, and met these ten musicians who survived the October 7th attacks. Heroes, really, and I wanted our guests to meet them.

As I introduced each hero, Sam Grundwerg joined me, sharing their stories. Their reaction? A standing ovation. Everyone got up. I was deeply moved and relieved.

What really blew me away was a band, the first to perform. They come up to me and say, "David, in honor of the Israelis here, we're calling ourselves Selah- a Hebrew word meaning 'rock'." A Jewish camper comes over and tells me, "If I don't play another note, I've already got my money's worth."

I made my rounds amongst the campers, to thank everyone, but also to share a bit about Israel. "Do you know Israel?" I asked. Most didn't. I'd start with familiar tech –Waze, WhatsApp. "That's Israel," I'd say, and their minds were blown. They'd never met an Israeli, let alone a musician from there. By the end of camp, I was flooded with emails about how this was the greatest experience of their lives.It’s insane how many people don't know any of the truths about Israel.

I was receiving private videos from some of the biggest rock stars. "We're here to

support you," they said. Messages poured in, "I’d come play, but I'm not in town.” ” And “I'm eager to meet you when I visit Israel." The encouragement was overwhelming and deeply appreciated.

Tommy Aldrich was the first to jam with them. Tommy's a drummer from the band Whitesnake. I introduced him to Bar from Israel. Bar's dad was a huge fan of his but was currently a hostage. He showed him a photo of his dad, then handed Tommy a necklace as a token of connection. Visibly moved, Tommy wore the necklace.

On Sunday, when Sebastian Bach, the lead singer of Skid Row, came by, he was so impacted by the experience that he involved his 500,000 fans, posting, 'I stand with Israel.'

To me, if we could get people to talk about that, especially among those not familiar with the Israeli situation, my mission was accomplished.

The transformation was profound. At first, the attendees were anxious and wary, but their warmth grew quickly. We went from cautious hugs on the first day to more open and frequent embraces. Their gratitude was palpable. It was incredible to witness the healing and bonds that formed.

One of the highlights for me was hosting a Shabbat meal. My wife prepared a Friday night meal for them and some of our special guests. They needed some spirituality in their life too, and Dov Engle, a member of the IDF, came to speak at Yavneh the next day after Shul.

Can we have a sneak peek into your plans for the future?

Sam and I are excited about making a documentary to highlight the healing power of music. We also plan to organize a big concert in Israel with everyone involved and extend an invitation to campers. But what I'm truly aiming for is to host the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp in Israel itself when the war is over.

More about David Fishof

David Fishof started his career booking acts in the Catskills before moving on to manage famous musicians and athletes. The highlight of his long career is creating Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy Camp. David currently resides in Los Angeles and takes immense pride in his family: he is a father of five, grandfather of eight, and a devoted husband to Karen Finkel.

Check out David’s podcast on Apple and Spotify and more on the rock camp go to Rockcamp.com. “The Rock Camp” movie is available for free on Amazon Prime and You tube.

The Ten Israeli Musicians The Ten Israeli Musicians

YANIV AVITAN

Age: 48

Location: Kibbutz Zikim, Gaza border

October 7th Experience:

I was at home with my family. We were part of the rapid response team, and I went out with my soldier son to protect the entrance to the kibbutz.

Fortunately, there were no terrorist infiltrations on that side. Tragically, several of my son’s friends in 12th grade were murdered on Zikim Beach.

Family: Married with 3 children; oldest son serving in the Armored Corps since the war began.

Profession: Retired police detective, now owns a private printing business on the kibbutz.

Music Passion: I’ve played drums since a young age.

BEN KING

Age: 52

Location: Kibbutz Be’eri, Gaza border (evacuated to the Dead Sea)

October 7th Experience:

At home in kibbutz Be’eri with my wife, we hid in the safe room, and I guarded the door handle. Terrorists entered our apartment and set it on fire. Our children, living on the other side of the kibbutz, communicated with us via WhatsApp, so we knew to stay put. We endured the smoke and heat inside the safe room until our rescue at 7 pm.

Profession: Graphic artist, working at Be’eri Printing for 26 years.

Music Passion: Our house had a small studio with musical instruments, sadly lost in the fire.

RAZ SHIFER

Age: 27

Location: Ramat Gan, Nova Music

Festival Survivor

October 7th Experience:

I was at the Nova music festival with a friend when the attack happened. We managed to escape to a nearby kibbutz. Unfortunately, two of my good friends were kidnapped and taken hostage; one of them, Inbar Hayman, was tragically murdered in captivity.

Profession: Actress, formerly worked in high-tech; currently dedicated to music.

Music Passion: I play the guitar and sing. Music remains my source of strength during difficult times.

DAVID KLEIN

Age: 46

Location: Kibbutz Yad Mordechai, Gaza border (evacuated to Hedera)

October 7th Experience:

My family and I were at home, and we stayed in the safe room until being evacuated to a hotel in Hedera the next day. Our kibbutz was spared damage due to a timely warning from the security officer, allowing us to prepare. Despite the noise of rockets and shootings, we only grasped the full magnitude of the event in the evening.

Family: Wife and two small children.

Profession: I previously worked at Intel; currently dedicated to music.

Music Passion: Degree in musicology, and I perform and lecture on the subject.

DOV ENGEL

Age: 38

Location: Neve Daniel

Military Service: Mobility Unit. Volunteers in reserves for 20 years. Was wounded in the war.

October 7th Experience:

Arrived in the south on October 8th and engaged in several hours of fighting in Moshav Patish’s area. Unfortunately, I was injured during the operation, tearing a tendon in my leg. After surgery, I am currently undergoing rehabilitation and using crutches.

Family: Married with 5 children.

Profession: Owner of an independent construction business.

Music Passion: I play the guitar and sing.

YAKIR UZAN

Age: 37

Location: Moshav Yevul, originally from Kibbutz Re’im (Gaza border)

October 7th Experience:

I grew up in Kibbutz Re’im and lived in Moshav Yevul. On that Shabbat, we were staying with my family. We were hiding in the safe room. The house is in the first line of houses, so we were forced to listen to the tragic noise of family and friends being murdered. My brother-in-law was among the victims. It’s emotionally challenging for me to talk about this event.

Family: Father of three children.

Music Passion: I am a drummer and have been involved with music from a young age.

BAR RUDAEFF

Age: 27

Location: Tel Aviv, Originally from Nir Yitzhak (Gaza border)

Military Service: Fighter and officer in the Jordanian Lions Battalion.

October 7th Experience: I was at my Tel Aviv apartment, anxiously trying to reach my father, a volunteer for Magen David Adom, who went to help and got injured. His fate is uncertain and assumed kidnapped and taken hostage. Simultaneously, updates from my mother informed me that my brother is at the Nova music festival. Luckily, he managed to escape.

Family: Father, Lior Rudaif, kidnapped and held hostage by Hamas terrorists; Brother, survivor of Nova.

Music Passion: I play the guitar and sing. Before the war, I decided to focus solely on music.

TUVAL HAIM

Age: 31

Location: Kibbutz Gvulot, Gaza border

October 7th Experience:

On the day, I was confronted with the news of my brother being kidnapped to Gaza. Yotam was later killed in a tragic event in Gaza along with two more hostages. I’m deeply attached to the idea of sharing my brother’s life story with the world.

Family: Brother of the late Yotam Haim, who was kidnapped and held hostage by Hamas terrorists and tragically and accidentally killed by IDF soldiers.

Music Passion: Yotam and I grew up on rock music and have been playing since we were young. I play the guitar and drums. I’ve been performing worldwide.

VALERIA DVORKIN

Age: 25

Location: Nir Am, Gaza border

Military Service: Served as an HR officer for five years and today serves in the reserves - in an aiding fund that provides assistance to reservists.

October 7th Experience:

I was at home in Nir Am (I live alone) and heard the fighting around me, just 50 meters from my house. I stayed in the safe room, where there was no reception, so I didn’t fully grasp the magnitude of the event. It was only the next day that I realized I had to leave and drove alone to my parents’ house. Many of my friends and colleagues were either killed or taken hostage to Gaza.

Profession: I studied acting and managed the pub in Nir Am.

Music Passion: I have a band, and I’m the lead singer.

SAGI ARAD

Age: 40

Location: Kibbutz Magen, Gaza border

(Currently living in a hotel)

October 7th Experience: I fought alongside the rapid response team on that day to block terrorists' entry into the kibbutz. Despite the challenges, we successfully defended our community.

Profession: I earn a living from a law office.

Music Passion: Beyond my work, my lifelong passion lies in music and youth education. I play the guitar and sing, actively setting up music rooms for teenagers in the Gaza border communities. Currently, I continue similar activities for evacuees and youth, even in the hotel environment.

FILLING THE MOST BASIC NEEDS OF LA FOR PESACH

Pesach marks our origin as the Jewish nation. Now, let’s be there for every Jew.

Life is expensive. Around Yom Tov season, the costs are even greater. And Pesach most of all.

WE’RE READY TO PROVIDE:

4,500 INDIVIDUALS

5,000 ARTICLES OF BRAND-NEW

2,500

15,000

$600,000 pesach budget

Because when there’s room in the heart There’s room at the table

ךי

Tomchei LA ensures there is a seat at the table for everyone.

DONATE TODAY

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Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parsha and Psychology Navigating Bereavement

Parshat Shemini begins with the sanctification of the Mikdash by Aharon HaCohen, a day that could have been the spiritual pinnacle of his life. We know that the day suddenly takes a turn with the tragic deaths of his sons, Nadav & Avihu. The sudden loss of Nadav and Avihu profoundly impacts Aharon and Bnei Yisrael. Their deaths evoke deep sorrow and mourning, reflecting the human experience of bereavement.

Bereavement is a multifaceted psychological process that individuals undergo in response to the death of a loved one. It encompasses a range of emotions, including grief, sadness, anger, confusion, and even guilt. The bereaved often navigate through stages of mourning as they come to terms with their loss and adjust to life without their loved one.

In the case of Aaron and his family, their grief is palpable. Aaron’s reaction to the deaths of Nadav and Avihu is one of silence, as he struggles to comprehend the sudden loss of his sons. The parsha tells us that after the passing of Aharon’s sons, Moshe Rabeynu approached to explain what occurred and “VaYidom Aharon” – “and Aaron was si-

lent” (Vayikra 10:3). The Ramban writes he had cried aloud, but then he became silent. The Sforno writes that his silence was due to feeling consoled after having been told that the death of his sons represented a sanctification of Hashem. Rashi writes, quoting several Gemarahs, that Hashem rewarded Aharon for his silence by subsequently speaking directly to him later in the Parsha. However, the Rashbam indicates that this silence is not something we should all learn a lesson from pertaining to our own grief but an exception related to the elevated level of Aharon.

We find that Chazal differ on their interpretation of how grief should be manifested, which directly falls in line with the research on the grieving process. While we know, there are often five stages of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, we also are aware that there is no specific order to them or time frame per stage. In grief work an often used quote is: “Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” There is no one right way to cope.

Shalom Bayit

The Greatest Threat

At a little less than interesting lecture I was looking around me: one person was answering his emails, another texting, and yet another was playing cards. The only reason I was not on my phone was because my battery was dead.

What happened to us? Our cellphone tickles us in every way imaginable. It’s always with us. It’s free. And there’s no shame involved. We’re acting like addicts! Consequences? Less time with our wives, less interest, less desire.

In ינימש God gives us the signs of kosher animals from which we can deduce that a pig is not kosher. Yet God goes out of his way to warn us against the pig. Why? If you know something is dangerous

Rabbi

The Gemarah in Berachot 18b tells us the good die but live on. Aharon found comfort in finding meaning around his grief, a feeling often elusive to many experiencing tragic losses. However, others can find their way towards healing in other ways.

Grief Researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross said, “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” We are reminded that the process of bereavement is not linear.

Ultimately, Parshat Shemini teaches us that the experience of bereavement is a deeply human phenomenon, experienced at some point by all. It invites us to reflect on the complexities of grief and the ways in which we can support one another through life’s darkest moments. Through support, presence, and connection, we can navigate the journey of bereavement with faith, resilience, and hope.

Three small tips for bereavement:

Allow Yourself to Feel: It’s essential to give yourself permission to experience the full range of emotions that accompany bereavement, including sadness, anger, guilt, and even relief. Suppressing emotions can prolong the healing process. Instead, embrace your feelings and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and at your own pace.

Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or support groups during this challenging time. Surrounding yourself with understanding and compassionate individuals can provide comfort and validation for your emotions. Sharing memories and stories about your loved one can also help keep their memory alive and foster healing.

Practice Self-Care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally during the grieving process. Additionally, ensure you’re getting enough rest, eating nourishing foods, and seeking professional help if needed, such as therapy or counseling. Remember, self-care is not selfish—it’s essential for your well-being as you navigate through grief.

Elan Javanfard, M.A., L.M.F.T. is a Consulting Psychotherapist focused on behavioral health redesign, a Professor of Psychology at Pepperdine University, & a lecturer related to Mindfulness, Evidence Based Practices, and Suicide Prevention. Elan is the author of Psycho-Spiritual Insights: Exploring Parasha & Psychology, a weekly blog. He lives in the Los Angeles Pico Robertson community with his wife and two children and can be reached at Elan.Javanfard@ gmail.com.

you keep your guard up. But a pig holds up its hooves and says he’s kosher so you let your guards down. The smartphone is a pig. I suggest you put a filter on it and give the password to your wife. It’s not going to be convenient, but that’s a small price to pay to regain control of our lives and have Shalom Bayit.

FYI:

By: Esther Retek

Vacuum Cleaners

Think Pesach cleaning, and your senses are immediately activated — the distinct Mr. Clean smell, bathtubs overflowing with Lego, and of course, the busy hum of the good ol’ vacuum cleaner. The vacuum cleaner, the homemaker’s trustworthy companion, has a messy history, with many people claiming credit for the apparatus. Read on to learn more about it.

NOT SUCH HU MBLE BEGINNINGS

Had you lived in 1901, you might have witnessed a startling scene on the wealthier streets of London. Engineer Hubert Cecil Booth was rolling a new apparatus, now known as the vacuum cleaner, from house to house. After the demonstration of a new machine at London’s Empire Music Hall, he realized the machine they displayed had a fatal flaw. It was designed to blow out air in the hope of raising dust from the carpet and into the collecting bag. The inventor told him that the method Booth suggested instead — sucking up the dirt — was impossible. Booth, not discouraged, set out to produce a machine that would suck, and not blow. After some near-fatal tries, Booth hit upon something, though it was very different from today’s cleaner. The machine was a huge beast at the time, and someone would take it around, cleaning the wealthy Londoners’ homes

A MUSEU M OF ITS OW N

In 2009, Missouri’s Vacuum Cleaner Museum opened. The collection was started by Tom Gasko, a vacuum specialist who has been obsessed with vacuum cleaners since he was a child. Throughout his vacuum career, Gasko had been collecting cleaners, and by the late 2000s, he had accumulated over 600 machines, ranging from vintage to modern. In 2009, he was finally able to open the Vacuum Cleaner Museum and Factory Outlet, where he put his collection on display and welcomed visitors who wanted to come and see the history of their favorite cleaning contraption. After ten years of being a unique tourist attraction, the museum closed.

LOWER THE VOLUME

As much as we love the cleaner, we all admit the noise is irksome and annoying. An average vacuum cleaner reaches 80 decibels of sound — which is loud! Why the noise? As the vacuum cleaner’s fan rotates at a very high speed, air comes out and is then sucked back in through the vacuum suction. The air flows from the fan and the vacuum suction both create noise. Interestingly, the better the suction power of your vacuum cleaner, the noisier it will be. The motor can also be why vacuum cleaner sounds are so noisy. The motor whirling around inside the vacuum helps move the belt and utilize electricity, but it also produces loud sounds. Finally, as air moves around and hits di erent things, noise is also created. And since many vacuum cleaners are made using a plastic body, the noise vibrations are even louder.

PUT TO USE

Romney Marsh, a woman from Kent, England, bought a vacuum cleaner as a present for her mother in the 1930s. In 2008, after more than 70 years’ use, the vacuum cleaner (surprisingly?) blew up in the middle of cleaning. Most of us would consider the purchase one that was well-spent, but not this 95-year-old woman. She contacted Electrolux, the cleaner’s makers, filed a complaint, and ultimately received a new model.

WHAT’S IN STORE?

Are you still lugging around the cleaner as opposed to having it do the job on its own? Although you’re not the only one, the world is slowly shifting to robotic cleaners. One truly impressive robotic cleaner is the Hefter Robot Cleaner, currently employed in the janitorial department of both Manchester Airport and The Queen Elizabeth II Hospital. The Hefter model can clean more than 200,000 square feet daily. It uses laser scanners and ultrasonic detectors to identify obstacles and maneuver around them. If it encounters a human, the robot quips: “Excuse me, I am cleaning,” and steers around them. After one guided tour by a human operator it learns its routes and the robot can clean unsupervised, moving at a rate of three miles an hour and keeping a log of places it has already cleaned. After it completes its route, it guides itself back to its home station, where it recharges and refills on cleaning fluids.

COOL CLEA NERS

S m a l l a n d c o m p a ct , t h e US B v a c u u m

p l u g s i n t o y o u r

c o m p u t e r ’ s US B p o r t a n d h e l p s y o u k e e p y o u r w o r k a r e a c l e a n .

E l e c t r ol u x h a s d e s ig n e d a p a i r o f v a c u u m s h o e s . A l l y o u h a v e t o d o i s w a l k a r o u n d , a n d t h e d u s t g e t s s u c k e d u p .

T h e Er g o n o mi c B a c k p a c k Va c u u m m o v e s w i t h y o u, s p a ri ng y o u t h e h a s s l e o f d r a g-

g i ng a v a c u u m

c l e a n e r a r o u n d y o u r ho u se — b e c a u s e t h e r e m a y b e s o m e p e o p l e o u t t h e r e w h o p r e f e r t o c a r r y h e a v y l o a d s o v e r d r a g g i ng t h e m a l o ng!

O n e o f S a m s u ng ’ s v a c u um s f e a t u r e s t hi r t e e n s e n s o r s , a b u i l t -i n c a m e r a , a n d a n ew c r a s h-a v o i d i ng s ys t e m. T h a n k s t o t h e s e f e a t u r e s , i t c a n v a c u u m e v e n y o u r b e d w i t ho u t f a l l i ng!

© Reprinted with permission from The Monsey View

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NO BERACHA ON A SOLAR ECLIPSE?!?

BY: DR. RON NAGEL

As one gets older, many people create a bucket list—a compilation of experiences or goals they aspire to accomplish before they “kick the bucket” םירשעו האמ דע. One of the items on my own bucket list was to witness a total solar eclipse, a phenomenon that occurs somewhere on planet Earth approximately every 18 months. However, the true stroke of luck came when I had the extraordinary opportunity to witness this awe-inspiring event on August 21, 2017, in Eugene, Oregon.

WHAT IS A SOLAR ECLIPSE?

It is a phenomenon which occurs when the moon passes between the Earth and sun, completely obscuring the view of the Sun and creating a shadow on a specific area on Earth. The Sun's corona, which is its outer atmosphere, is normally not visible during the day due to the Sun's brightness. However, during a total solar eclipse, the Moon covers the entire Sun, revealing the corona and creating a captivating pearly glow. This extraordinary event is known as "Totality."

In 2017, I was fortunate enough to witness Totality, which lasted an astounding two minutes and forty seconds. As the Moon completely blocked the Sun, the world around me fell into darkness, akin to the biblical "ךשח תכמ" (the Plague of Darkness). Despite being daytime, the temperature dropped by a few degrees, and I heard all the birds nearby chirping at the same time and animals howling. It was an unforgettable experience that left me in awe of the cosmic wonders that unfold above us.

Now, seven years later, I am eagerly anticipating the chance to re-experience this remarkable event on Erev Rosh Chodesh Sivan, April 8, 2024, in Dallas, Texas. This will be the second total solar eclipse in the continental USA within a span of just seven years. Knowing that I will once again be able to witness the magic of Totality and feel that profound connection to the universe, I want to explore the Torah approach to understanding this celestial phenomenon.

SOURCED IN CREATION

On the 4th day of creation תישארב השעמ, Hashem created the תורואמ: םינשו םימילו םידעומלו תתאל ויהיו הלילה ןיבו םויה ןיב לידבהל םימשה עיקרב תורואמ יהי

ישר states the תתאל ויהי refers to the occurrence of a solar or lunar eclipse as being a bad omen for the world and especially the Jewish people. תורואמהשכ םלועל אוה ער ןמיס ןקול. Rashi then follows with a quote from Yirmiyahu: תותואמ ותחת לא םימשה. To appease the Jewish people that there is a way to avoid this bad sign from Heaven, he states that one should not to be frightened because אוה ךורב שודקה ןוצר םכתושעב when you perform the will of G-d, ןכירצ םתא ןיא תינערופה ןמ גואדל , One need not worry about the punishment heralded from the eclipse.

We see from ישר that this predictable event can be a ער ןמיס but if society “behaves,” then there will be no concern for Divine retribution.

NO BRACHA FOR BAD OMENS

For my first eclipse in 2017, I mentioned to a rabbi how excited I was to recite the הכרב of תישארב השעמ השע when I see the solar eclipse. To my surprise, the rabbi told me that one should not say ANY הכרב over a solar eclipse. I was taken aback - How could I not say a הכרב on witnessing one of the greatest cosmic events in the world (and especially fulfilling a major item on my bucket list!)?!?

It was time to go to the sources:

The תוכרב ארמג when discussing היאר תכרב lists no הכרב for witnessing a solar eclipse. Under the category of תואלפנ תוכרב , the תישארב השעמ השע הכרב includes comets, earthquakes, lofty mountains (Mt. Everest) and lightning. Why would a solar eclipse be any different than these other awe-inspiring natural events?

The Gemara ט"כ הכס explains why specifically solar eclipses may be different with an analogy: “At the time that the Sun is stricken, it is a bad omen for the entire world. An analogy to what can this be compared? It is comparable to a King who made a banquet for his subjects and placed a lantern before them. Suddenly the King becomes angry and says to his servant: "Remove the lantern before them and let them sit in darkness.”

Because solar eclipses are correlated to bad omens, we do not make a Bracha on it. Indeed, a significant example of a ער ןמס (bad omen) seemingly linked to a solar eclipse occurred over a century ago. On August 21, 1914, a total solar eclipse passed over Eastern Europe, shortly after the outbreak of World War I. This devastating war exposed humanity to the horrifying reality of modern warfare, with its unprecedented use of aerial bombings, machine guns, and chemical weapons such as mustard gas. That eclipse definitely felt like a fortuitous omen of bad things to come.

THE TORAH’S REASONS FOR SOLAR ECLIPSES

The Gemorah gives 4 “sins” for why a solar eclipse might occur:

הקול המח םירבד העברא ליבשב ר''ת

1. הכלהכ דפסנ וניאו תמש ןיד תיב בא לע

2. הל עישומ ןיאו ריעב הקעצש הסרואמה הרענ לעו

3. רוכז בכשמ לעו

4. דחאכ ןמד ךפשנש ןיחא ינש לעו

Let’s discuss these four reasons in more detail:

1. The ןיד תב בא, Head of the Rabbinical court, died and was not properly eulogized. This leader of the community is a “loss of sunshine” to the public, since having a proper eulogy be delivered would have sparked הבושת on the part of the kehilah.

2. The sad story of a ,הסרואמה הרענ betrothed maiden who was raped and screamed out in the middle of the day for help, yet no one from the community came to her rescue. This is like הקול המחה ןמזב. We cannot let her unnoticed scream be unheard.

3. Refers to unsanctioned sexual relationships: It is similar to what happened in the time of the Mabul Noah’s Deluge, when the absence of the sun for 40 days was a reflection on the bad deeds committed by society.

4. The spilling of brotherly blood at the same time results in ending their potential for procreation in bringing future beings into this world.

We don’t know exactly why these are the four reasons, however, I’d like to offer a possible theme: Perhaps these four actions are examples of the lost potential in a human being. Each of these actions has a destructive consequence to society.

When the ןיד תיב בא dies and is not properly eulogized, it shows that the community failed to appreciate this leader’s contributions to society. That is a lost potential. The הסרואמה הרענ who screamed for help and didn’t receive it, may suffer from mental health consequences in the future. The last two examples of דחאכ ןמד ךפשנש ןיחא ינש & רוכז בכשמ - both are actions that result in the absence of producing a family. For all of these, there is a potential that is squandered or ruined.

Perhaps Hashem responds to the loss of these potentials by briefly removing a key feature for sustenance: the Sun. A solar eclipse can remind us how the future is not necessarily guaranteed, as Hashem can “turn off the lights” especially at the time of a solar eclipse. This in turn is meant to ensure that our communities will not engage in actions or inactions that squanders people’s potential.

THE BAD OMEN CONUNDRUM

If we understand solar eclipses to be a “bad omen” as a response to an individual or a community’s inaction resulting in a loss of potential, a very obvious question arises: I started this article by telling you about my plans to see the next solar eclipse on April 8, 2024, in Dallas, Texas. Astrophysics determines the exact date of the next solar eclipse and therefore when the next “bad omen” will happen! How can an entirely preordained natural event be in response to sin and portend punishment? Isn't humanity in control of its destiny? Here are some answers to this question.

The Rama has an obvious answer that Hashem can choose whether the solar eclipse is visible to humanity or not. For example, by making it cloudy over the area of the eclipse, so it could not be seen on earth. This way if the preordained solar eclipse is not witnessed, the bad omen would not be considered.

The Shelah Hakodesh offers another solution by stating that Hashem foresaw all of our sins that would come in the future, and accordingly scheduled the eclipses in advance.

A third explanation given by a number of Gedolim, including the Aruch La’nor, suggest the following explanation. Chazal say that there are certain times in the world that are designated as being “bad mazel times” during which sins are punished more harshly. The occurrence of a solar eclipse represents a preordained time of bad mazel for the world in response to ongoing sins. It is our specific actions at that time that will dictate whether there will be a negative consequence by Hashem or not. This is what the prophet והימרי meant when he said “When you perform the will of G-D, you need not worry about the punishment heralded from the eclipse.” Humanity has the ability at certain times to overcome teva and thereby have nothing to fear.

Thus, while an eclipse may be perceived as a potential bad omen, it is not a definitive verdict or final judgment. Rather, it is a "ןידה תעש" (moment of judgment), serving as a reminder of Hashem's awe-inspiring powers and benevolence towards humanity. The Sun, vital for sustaining life on Earth, enables photosynthesis and allows nature to flourish. Its light, warmth, and energy are essential for our survival, even for a single moment. Thus, with infinite wisdom and predetermined times on the calendar, Hashem briefly shields us from the Sun’s rays, prompting us to reflect on the miracle of its constant presence, which we often take for granted.

This is why the Torah uses the word "תתוא" (sign), emphasizing that we must "take note" "תעש ןידה" urges us to be cautious and mindful of our actions. The solar eclipse conveys the message that failing to appreciate Hashem's gifts may lead to consequences. It is plausible that the Creator of the universe established these "signposts'' (eclipses) based on natural laws as enduring reminders for mankind to better understand the Talmud's expression, "ולוכ םלוע לכל ער ןמיס הקול המחש ןמז" (when the sun is eclipsed, it is a bad omen for the entire world).

WHAT DOES A FRUM JEW HOPE FOR DURING TOTALITY?

As David Hamelech says in Tehillim: עיקרל דיגמ וידי השעמו ,ל-ק דובכ םירפסמ םימשה

The Heavens declare the glory of Hashem and the sky above produces His Handiwork.

What do I hope to experience when I see this solar eclipse on April 8, 2024 at 1:43pm? The excitement begins thirty minutes before the eclipse, I will see first contact, a tiny “nick” in the circumference of the western side of the Sun. About 20 minutes before totality, half of the Sun will be covered by the Moon. As the minutes pass, the pace quickens. With 15 minutes to go, I will appreciate the western sky getting darker than the east. Five minutes to totality, the crescent Sun narrows and the darkening sky around the Sun closes in. Minutes become seconds and at the moment of Totality, I hope to see what is called Baily Beads –points of intense white light which are the last rays of sunlight passing through the Moons’ valleys. Eventually there is only one Bead left and that bright light is called the Diamond Ring. Finally, Totality, with the air being cooler, birds stop chirping and complete tranquility.

I will see 3 planets often not seen during the day Jupiter, Saturn and then Venus. Unfortunately, no bracha can be said, but I will bring a new fruit and say ונייחהש on it, followed by saying some Tehillim.

As we eagerly await the solar eclipse experience, which I wholeheartedly encourage many of you to join me in witnessing, let us view it as a potential sign that the long-awaited תומי חישמה (days of the Messiah) are drawing near.

During this momentous event, may we come to appreciate the symbolic significance of the Moon being once again the same size as the Sun. Let it serve as a reminder that bad omens can be dispelled, replaced by the many blessings resulting from the multitude of mitzvahs that Klal Yisrael will perform.

Remember during an eclipse, we cannot look at the Sun as this might result in eye trauma and no bracha is said because it is a bad omen. However, during

If this is true, why is there not a solar eclipse every month? This is because the Moon has an elliptical orbit around Earth resulting in much variation in the distance between the moon to earth. Also the Moon’s orbit around earth is a 5 degree tilt in the Sun-Earth plane. An eclipse will occur only if the Sun, Moon, and Earth line up in the same plane. Therefore a total solar eclipse is an infrequent celestial event and can only be seen around שדוח שאר , a new moon. It occurs about every 1 1/2 years somewhere on planet earth.

Dr. Ron Nagel is a Los Angeles pediatrician for over 40 years of experience. He is an amateur astronomy, which gives him daily appreciation for Hashem and the wonderful world He created.

Six for Pesach Sanity Tips

By: Goldie Grossbaum Folsom, California

The countdown is on, Pesach is coming. When you read that sentence, did it make your heart start palpitating and you started breaking out in a cold sweat?

Or did you feel a thrill of excitement and burst of adrenaline for this incredible, all encompassing Jewish holiday that wraps you up in a world of its own; where regular life ceases to exist and family and meals become front and center of your life.

Yeah, that really is possible – or you can at least get closer to the latter reaction.

Pesach is a lot. It really is. There’s so much to do and so much to buy and so much to prepare.

Now, as I’m preparing to make Pesach in my own home for the 14th year, I’d like to share my top Six Sanity Tips for Pesach, in the hope that they offer some help in some way to some Pesach-makers.

It starts at the roots, it’s the foundation. It’s the most important and fundamental rule that will make all the difference in everything I do: I must love pesach.

Yes, love it.

If the feeling isn’t natural, I repeat “I love Pesach” over and over again until it becomes a part of me. I repeat it again and again. And then again. Starting the day after Purim, I think it while I work, while I walk, while I drive and just about any other time of day or night.

And it really happens. Try it and see for yourself; you will convince yourself. You will love Pesach.

Especially considering the fact that it comes back every year, rain or shine, it’s integral to have a healthy relationship with it.

You must love it.

And to make sure you really love it, buy something new for yourself every year or do something special for yourself; it doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to be something that gives you a positive association with the workload. (Think a new book, chocolate stash, manicure, purse, shoes, costume jewelry or whatever makes you happy and fits your budget.)

1 2

As much as it’s important for me to love Pesach, my kids need to love it too; and really, that’s all dependent on what they hear me saying – which goes back to #1. If I become a ranting and raving chometz guard, we will all hate Pesach together.

Do things that give the kids positive associations with the preparation; be creative with suppers and meals for the days before Pesach – as in, forget the rules and do what works. Can you imagine, nothing says best mother better than allowing cereal and

milk for supper!! For three days straight! Double points if it’s Shabbos cereal! It’s just a few nights; everyone will be ok. Their emotional and mental health is top priority over here. Buy some new games or books that are special just for Pesach.

Whatever it is that works, it has to be in line with making the kids love Pesach and not leaving them wishing it went away and so they can get their normal mother back.

3

I believe that my cleaning help is just as certified and qualified to do the Pesach cleaning as I am.

If you don’t have regular help, hire a company, group, someone, anyone. Your sanity costs a lot more money than the cleaning help; and it is alot harder to fix or replace your sanity if you lose or damage any of it. .

Remember that the mitzvah is to get rid of edible chometz you can see. Food doesn’t fly and crumbs don’t jump. Just clean. And save spring cleaning for a calm day in July.

Pesach is not the time for me to patchke and fuss with new recipes; I save that for during the year when there’s actual ingredients to use, instead of attempting to use (lousy) makeshift replacements and substitutes. The first year I made Pesach I made 5 different types of sweet potato/potato combos. Rolled, layered, scooped – you name it. They all had fancy names and they all tasted the same. All the work for nothing.

4 5 6

Look for shortcuts. My best shortcut is that I don’t empty a single cabinet or drawer or pantry in my kitchen. I have two self-standing plastic storage cabinets from Costco that are in the garage all year long storing all the pesach stuff and then the cabinets get moved into the house and it continues to house all the pesach stuff. My chometz cabinets get spring cleaned on random days in the year when it’s not Yom Tov season and it’s not spring. True, it’s additional clutter to have two cabinets brought into the kitchen; but pick your poison. Go for the one that will give you less work.

Lists. Paper, Google docs, excel or whatever works. But make those lists and plan ahead. You can shop around for people’s ideas – but most importantly; make them your own.

There are so many different ways to do it; cooking everything before Pesach, kashering after Purim, kashering the day before or kashering on Erev Yom tov. There’s no wrong way. Find the right way that’s right for YOU. Do things because they work for you, not because they work for your friend or sister or mother or grandmother.

Make Pesach yours. Make it your own.

And I can guarantee you, you will love Pesach.

You may come to the Seder tired, but there’s a difference between tired and resembling something that the cat dragged in or tired but full of pride and joy and a sense of accomplishment; that you made it without destroying anyone or anything in the process.

Unless fussing with elegant and delicate foods is something that gives you joy and it’s really your thing, just make the food you like and the food your family will eat. No one needs to know what your menu is.

And then you can actually be present at the Seder; you will enjoy the time with your family and your food, and actually feel the depth of this holiday celebrating our freedom. You deserve it.

Parent to Parent

Dear Chani,

Lately, my 5-year-old son has been giving me a tough time at the doctor’s office. He’s developed a sudden fear of shots and during our last visit, he hid under the chair in the waiting room. Once we got him into the examination room, he was screaming and flailing. The nurse and I had to hold him down for the shot. I’m baffled by this sudden behavior change. Do you have any advice? He has another shot coming up soon, and I’m hoping for a better experience.

- Baffled Mom

Dear Baffled Mom,

Thank you for reaching out. Let’s start by ruling out any trauma associated with shots. If there’s no recollection of a traumatic event during his previous shots, or if he has not witnessed some other traumatic episode concerning shots, that’s a positive sign. Once we’ve ruled out trauma, we can address his behavior.

When dealing with anxiety, providing ample information is crucial. Anxiety often stems from fear of the unknown, so try to educate him as much as possible about shots. You can use videos (after screening them to ensure they’re not frightening) or look up information together. Role-playing can also help—let him play the doctor and administer a pretend shot to you, then switch roles.

The next point is not to lie to him or downplay the experience. Shots do hurt, and acknowledging that builds trust. You can explain that while it may

sting for a minute or two, it’s necessary for his health. Don’t mitigate the fact that he is right, it does hurt!

Lastly, consider offering a small incentive. While we typically don’t advocate for bribery, since this is only happening once or twice a year, I would suggest bribing to ease the process. Keep it modest, like a slurpee or ice cream.

Getting shots is undoubtedly one of the less enjoyable aspects of parenting, and having a child tantrum through it makes it even more difficult. I hope these few tips can help your son be calmer when getting shots and ease the experience for both of you.

- Chani

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Chani Heyman is a parenting coach who has been giving parenting classes, based on the teaching of Rebbetzin Spetner, for over 9 years to hundreds of mothers across the US. You can reach her at chaniheyman@gmail.com. Follow Chani on Instagram for daily parentings tip @parentingwithchani.

Constructive Feedback

Istarted piano when I was about ten years old in fifth grade, in a Sunday afternoon group class held in our elementary school auditorium. I remember the teacher holding up the theory cards, the notes, the treble and bass clefs, the staff, and all the elements of music. I recall taking turns at the piano on the stage we used, and eventually asking my mother if I could take classes privately with that teacher who lived nearby our house in Brooklyn. That started my passion for music, especially piano.

But as in any teacher/student relationship, it’s not so much the content of the lessons that matters, but the relationship built between the teacher and student. That relationship and trust is what motivates the student to do the work. One particular teacher I had while in college was such a teacher. I haven’t been in touch with her for several decades, but I still remember going to her house for private coaching to audition for the piano program at the university I was attending to become a music therapist.

Sometimes we’d do more chatting than piano playing, but I learned more under that teacher than many others. I recall her pulling a Haydn Sonata book off the piano and saying to me, “No, that’s not how to play it –you’re using staccato and it sounds too dis jointed. Use legato, play it like a pretty song.” I practiced it both ways and saw how the smooth way was more musical. But, it was only because we already had that relationship where I knew she respected me as a person and student, that I was able to take that feed back and use it to play the music better, and to grow.

we did about twenty minutes or more of chatting – about music, life, everything --- and the rest of the time we played music. And most of the work was done between lessons, where I’d practice daily to learn the music. I believe that that is the recipe for any learning and growing in life. We develop relationships and trust with other people, and through that we pick up ideas from them, and then practice them in our own lives.

Let’s take the opposite scenario, where a teacher uses more criticism than praise during the lessons. The pieces she chooses are lovely but the student prefers songs that she knows and doesn’t voice that to the teacher. When she does, the teacher insists she play from the classical music she chooses. The student loses interest and barely practices. She cancels lessons and comes late. She doesn’t particularly like the company of the teacher and feels she’s too pushy or rigid. This student is not going to do the work and won’t learn.

All this sounds obvious and almost ridiculous to spell out, but in reality we sometimes forget how much the relationship between people is what helps them grow. The relationship doesn’t even have to be daily or weekly. It could be periodically, but the trust is there and there’s the knowledge that one can pick up the phone to ask a question or discuss something. These are ideas worth thinking about when we show up friend to friend, teacher to student, or parent

Miriam

Notable Quotes

Apple has locked its consumers into the iPhone while locking its competitors out of the market.

- Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco announcing an antitrust lawsuit against Apple, accusing the tech giant of engineering an illegal monopoly in smartphones that stifles competition and keeps prices artificially high

I’m not delusional. This will be very hard to do, but it’s not impossible. My hope is to have Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and then Literally Anybody Else right underneath.

- Dustin Ebey, of Texas, who legally changed his name to “Literally Anybody Else” and launched a campaign for president, in an interview with a Texas news station

I’ve been voting Democrats since 1960. This is the first time that I am thinking of not voting for them. I can’t vote for them, because that is a vote against Israel.

- Alan Dershowitz, in an interview with Channel 12 News

*** I am ruling out nothing.

- Vice Pres. Kamala Harris, when asked if Israel can “face consequences” from the U.S. by going into Rafah, in order to defeat Hamas

It will happen even if Israel is forced to fight alone. Even if the entire world turns on Israel, including the United States, we’re going to fight until the battle’s won.

- Strategic Affairs Minister Ron Dermer in a recent interview promising that Israel will go into Rafah

Hard disagree. Israel has the right to prosecute Hamas to surrender or to be eliminated. Hamas owns every innocent death for their cowardice hiding behind Palestinian lives.

- Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) responding to Harris’s comments

[Hamas] know they can’t defeat Israel militarily, so what they’re saying is, “OK, we just committed this incredible act of barbarity. We’re the darlings of the terrorist world. Now can we survive? We’re not going to survive if Israel completes this war. The only way we can survive is if America stops Israel from completing the war. So right now, they’ve got a few battalions left in Rafah and they’ve got their leadership still intact. So now they’re watching Biden and they’re saying to themselves, “This guy’s going to stop Israel, and if this guy stops Israel, we’re going to survive. We don’t have to pay that high a price to survive.” The price of the hostages goes up and the risk of a bad outcome goes up. No one’s paying attention to Biden more than Hamas, and he’s sending them exactly the wrong signals.

- Former U.S. Ambassador to Israel David Friedman in an interview with Arutz Sheva

To this Council, Israeli blood is cheap. This is a travesty and I’m disgusted.

- Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations Gilad Erdan after the U.N. passed a resolution demanding a ceasefire even though it has yet to pass a resolution condemning Hamas’s holding of hostages, which is a war crime

I think the president is worried about losing Minnesota and Michigan. He’s getting a lot of pressure from the pro-Hamas wing of the Democratic Party.

- Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) on ABC News’ “This Week”

Once there was a typewriter. An ingenious invention, it had a set of keys which when pressed would stamp a ribbon containing ink and this or that letter, number, or symbol would be typed on the paper rolled behind that keyboard. People used to take a class to learn how to use the typewriter and eventually would learn to type at varying speeds. This was used for formal documents and for writing long reports. However, for shorter items or for more personal notes, or letters, most people took pen in hand and wrote out their thoughts, wishes and greetings.

With technological advances, the typewriter has gone the way of the abacus and the tape recorder. Computers come with flat key-

NOTEWORTHY

A conscientious parent or teacher whose children and students utilize keyboards for classroom work might make use of the thoughts in this article. There is much more to writing than the fingertips. Fingers, hands, and arms are not only limbs. They are delicate instruments which are the marionettes of the brain itself. The brain determines the fine motor and the gross motor movements involved in writing, in drawing and in typing. The brain controls those activities. However, the nerves which “pull the strings” so that those muscles can move are, essentially, a two-way street. Each time that those hand-motions operate, the corresponding brain regions are stimulated and “exercised” so that the skill or task is mastered cerebrally as well as manually. Moreover, each brain region which is stimulated will also activate thoughts, ideas, and images, and at times emotions, which are associated with the words being written. The more active those hands are, the more active the brain is. The written word which emerges will eventually reflect

brain involvement. Whether you type the letter “g”, the number “3”, or an apostrophe, your fingers are doing the same movement. In contrast, when you write out a “g”, the hands move differently than when you scribe a “3”, or jot that apostrophe. When you write out words and sentences, your brain is thinking actively. When you type them out, there is less circuitry involved which is one reason why we tend to swiftly type out and instantaneously press ‘send’ on our smartphones and keyboards only to later regret that our words were unfiltered and possibly raw. Typing is an almost “stream-of-consciousness” operation where the fingers release a barrage of words which can sidestep social propriety and discretion (which are higher brain functions) and seem to draw on more primitive parts of our mind’s repertoire.

There is no doubt that keyboards allow our students and children to get more done quantitatively. The time and precision and brain stimulation which go into teaching them to

sustained focus and greater fine-motor control and neuromotor control.

Consider this next time someone is kind to you, buys you a present or does you a favor: get out a piece of stationery or a greeting card and painstakingly write them a thank you note or letter. Consider the next time you are thinking of making that long-distance call to a friend or relative: write them a good old-fashioned letter. Think of the impact it will have on the recipient, who knows that you put in the time and effort to communicate with them. Then, teach your children to write thank-you notes and send letters to their loved ones. In addition to the psychological value that organizing thoughts and feelings will have in their self-expression, and in addition to the interpersonal virtue they will cultivate in articulating gratitude, the neuromotor exercise promotes healthy brain development. In short, let your fingers do the talking.

Easy Does It!

By: Chef Nir

As you navigate the hustle bustle of Erev Pesach, remember to treat yourself to hassle-free, delicious meals. This easy-to-prepare recipe will give you and your family a nutritious dinner without the lengthy cleanup.

Sheet Pan Chicken Shawarma

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 lbs chicken thighs, boneless and skinless

• 1/4 cup olive oil

• 3 garlic cloves, minced

• 1 tbsp ground cumin

• 1 tbsp ground coriander

• 1 tbsp paprika

• 1 tsp turmeric

• 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

• Salt and black pepper, to taste

• 2 tbsp lemon juice

• 1 large red onion, peeled and cut into wedges

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Preheat the oven to 425°F (220°C). Line a large sheet pan with parchment paper for easy cleanup.

• Marinate the Chicken: In a large bowl, whisk together olive oil, garlic, cumin, coriander, paprika, turmeric, cayenne pepper, salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Add the chicken thighs and toss to coat evenly. Let marinate for at least 15 minutes, or up to overnight in the refrigerator for more avor.

• Prepare the Sheet Pan: Arrange the chicken thighs and red onion wedges on the prepared sheet pan in a single layer.

• Bake: Roast in the preheated oven for about 25-30 minutes, or until the chicken is golden and cooked through. For a charred nish, broil for the last 2-3 minutes.

• Rest: Let the chicken rest for a few minutes, then slice and serve.

Chopped Sumac Salad

INGREDIENTS:

• 2 cups chopped cucumbers

• 2 cups chopped tomatoes

• 1 cup chopped red onion

• 1 cup chopped parsley

• 2 tbsp olive oil

• Juice from 1 whole lemon

• 1 tsp sumac

• Salt and pepper, to taste

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Combine Ingredients: In a large bowl, combine the chopped cucumbers, tomatoes, red onion, and parsley.

• Dress the Salad: Add olive oil, lemon juice, sumac, salt, and pepper to the salad. Toss well to combine.

This cartoon is in need of a caption. Please submit your caption to editor@thelajewishhome.com before April 14, 10:00 PM. Final

TOP FIVE! FIVE!

Doc, I've had this burning sensation in my mouth for several weeks...

-Kleinman Family

Please Mr. Igneous, this session has been dragon' on too long. -- And your flame-boyant temperature tantrums are ruining all my instruments!

-Elliot Pines

Not to be jalapeño business but you had it cumin

-Sarah Borman

Go ahead, I'd love to see you try.

-Keturah Attia

Worst case of heartburn I've ever seen.

-Elias Family

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