April 18, 2024

May We Be Surrounded by Hope, Unity and Freedom.

Dear Readers, CONTENTS

There are many ideas as to what freedom means. Freedom can mean having choices, freedom can be having no restrictions or boundaries, and in one of our articles, freedom means having the ability to ask questions and to inquire.

In another article in this issue, Adina Gres discusses that freedom is a choice to be free, and we always have a choice to remain enslaved. In order to make that choice, we need to focus on the freedoms we do have (even if we are not free in all realms). Let’s focus on things we can control, as opposed to areas where we don’t have control. Let’s see the areas where we do possess the ability to choosesuch as mindset.

For example, victimhood is a choice. Hashem took us out of Egypt with an outstretched arm, that’s pure chesed, pure tzedakah. And even when we are given tzedakah, it can turn us into a victim. Are we a victim of our circumstances? Are we reliant constantly on others, or can we do something for ourselves? Will we wallow in the fact that we need to receive help? Or can we graciously accept the help from others, knowing that we can do it when the time or circumstance allows it?

I recently had a life changing event where I needed a lot of help. The old me would have never accepted any help from anyone. But I’ve built a village I’m proud of. So when I needed help, I called Chani to ask her to do this for me, I called Devorah to do this, I called Serena to do this. I needed help, and I tried not to put the burden on any one person, so I called up the reserves, and asked a little help from everyone. And you know who was most transformed? Me. because I had to ask for help many times. Each person was thrilled to help me in a small way; I know for a fact that each would’ve each done tremendously more for me. I was in a position where I was on the receiving end. But my mindset didn’t have to feel enslaved.

Bnei Yisrael that were in Mitzrayim had to be forced to be free; they would have chosen to remain slaves because it was comfortable, because it was what they had always known. They were scared for the next stage of life; they were scared to choose to break free from their current status; they were scared to accept the chesed of Hashem and become free.

As I write this, I spent last night in a maamad with my relatives outside of Jerusalem, watching the Iranian missiles be obliterated out of the sky by the Iron Dome. This morning, everything is back to normal in Israel. Life continues, we go on, regardless of the fear and threats ahead. It’s a choice. A choice of freedom. Even though there is an existential threat, we continue to live on as we can. The same we did in Egypt prior to being redeemed. The same we did when we were threatened on Purim, on Chaukah, and now today.

Our enemies cannot control our mindset. The only thing that is accomplished by our enemies is the achdut that brings us together, and the fortitude to go on. We choose freedom. Israel is a living miracle. The Jewish people are a living miracle. That is why we say that we would not be here if not for Yetzias Mitzrayim. We would not be here if not for Hashem’s miracles, Yom yom.

Last night, I witnessed a miracle. An open miracle. Just like Yetzias Mitzrayim and the following Krias Yam Suf were also an open miracle. Nissan is the month of geulah. Just like every year, I expect it to come on Seder night when we open the door for Eliyahu. And I’ll be waiting again this year because I choose hope. I choose to go on. I choose to look for the good. I choose to believe in Am Yisrael Chai.

Wishing you a good Shabbos and a month of freedom,

Ariela

GOING AWAY? BE HOME SAFE

Many families enjoy going away for Pesach It is a great time for families to get away and enjoy a little vacation

The issue is, that many thieves also know this.

Armed with this knowledge, they scout communities to identify homes that look vacant over the Jewish holidays

We suggest that you proactively take steps to prevent the chances of becoming a victim

VACATION SAFETY :

Lock all doors, windows, and sheds

Leave on some lights, or use timers to mimic random activity

Have a neighbor take in your mail, newspapers, packages & flyers

Leave some of the blinds/drapes open.

Lock any valuables in your safe

Set your home alarm system to instant

Do not post about your vacation online until you return.

IF YOU COME HOME, AND IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IN YOUR HOUSE DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING GO OUTSIDE, CALL 911 & SHMIRA

LASHMIRA.ORG | @ShmiraPSLA

s a general rule, one should always try to never walk alone, especially in dark areas or alleys It is always best to walk in groups of two or more people. Remind your family members to maintain situational awareness while walking about. This is done by paying attention to other people in the area, DO NOT walk with your head in a book or phone Walk with purpose, and nod to or greet others on the way

HMIRA PUBLIC SAFETY is enhancing our security presence over Pesach In addition to the vigilance of our trained volunteers, we increased the shifts for our licensed security patrol partner This team of guards will be on duty day and night at the beginning and end of the chag, in addition to Shabbat, as usual Patrol vehicles, easily identifiable by their markings, will be rotating through the residential and main streets of Pico, Picfair, and La Brea This heightened level of security is made possible through your generous donations Thank you for your support

PESACH TIMES:

FIRST DAYS

4/22 1st Seder 7:13 PM

4/23 1st day 8:11 PM

4/24 Havdalah 8:12 PM

SHABBAT

4/26 Erev Shabbat 7:16 PM

4/27 Havdalah 8:14 PM

SECOND DAYS

4/28 Eve 7 7:18 PM

4/29 Eve 8 8:16 PM

4/30 Havdalah 8:17 PM

ךמעכ ימ

ﬦארשי

Copy by @riexpressions

OneCandle and the 9th Annual Infertility Awareness Shabbat Kick Off Event in Woodland Hills

On April 10th, 2024, Yesh Tikva celebrated a special evening filled with community, unity, and the kick off to the ninth annual Infertility Awareness Shabbat, sponsored by HRC Fertility. Yesh Tikva is a national organization based in Los Angeles, providing awareness and support to end the silence surrounding fertility struggles within the Jewish community.

Over 20 women came together to create custom OneCandle votives. OneCandle is an initiative of prayer that began 3 years ago in support of those facing fertility struggles. Together we learned more about OneCandle, and ways to create space for everyone during their fertility journeys.

“OneCandle is an opportunity for each of us to leave an unlit candle out Fri-

day night when they light our candles for the Sabbath and take a few minutes to pray for those dreaming of growing their families. We offer everyone the opportunity to sign up and receive a list of 5 names to pray for or to pray for people you know. On the first Friday night after a miracle is born, we light the candle to celebrate and thank God,” Executive Director Gila Block shares. “Together, let us pray for more light to be brought into this world.”

In attendance was Executive Director Gila Block, Dr. Ali Peck from HRC Fertility, host Loren Putterman, as well as local artist Shaili Louk who led us in this creative activity of painting our own candle.

For more information about Yesh Tikva or the OneCandle initiative https://yeshtikva.org/onecandle/

TFriendship Circle Volunteers Smile as Big as the Moon

o supplement their dedicated volunteering, FCLA volunteers are invited to workshops to hone in on their skills and bond with one another. Last Sunday night’s workshop featured a thematic film screening, delicious dairy dinner, and concession snacks.

We opened the night with a D’var Torah, inspiring our volunteers to push their buddies to shoot for the stars. Afterwards, they introduced themselves and played “Would you rather?” Of the 45 volunteers, most attended different schools and ranged from middle schoolers to college graduates. Our diversity and inclusivity shined as they bonded - laughing through the ice breakers and cheering during the screening.

The film, “A Smile as Big as the Moon,” shared an inspirational story about a special-ed teacher who believed in his students and brought them to space camp. We all learned the importance of believing in our friends and pushing them to new heights, something they already do at Friendship Circle.

An inspirational night to remember

Bonding with old and new friends The concession stand was popping

L-R Amit and Moshit Severino, Gila Block, Jackie Louk

Participant and their OneCandle

Dr. Ali Peck HRC Infertility and Ruth Ginsberg

?תאזה+מ

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‘Our Own Peace of Mind’: A Night of Jewish Showtunes, Laughter, and Tears

Hundreds of women rom the Los Angeles area — and a few from as far as Northern California and New York — gathered on April 4 and 7 in the ballroom of Temple Beth Am for a night of 25 uplifting Broadway songs connected to Judaism.

Hosted by the Jewish Women’s Repertory Company, the annual fundraiser raised money for JFS Hope through raffles, VIP tickets, and general donations. The women’s-only theater company is heading into its 18th season performing fully-staged musicals, with Hello Dolly! coming up in December.

42 Jewish women, ranging from ages 8 to 70, started rehearsing for the show in January in an effort to craft an excellent program while also fostering community. “I now embody the notion of doing what you love,” Lisa Gruenbaum told audiences about the impact joining JWRC has had on her life. She re-

called introducing JWRC founder Margy Horowitz to her father-in-law by saying, “This is the woman responsible for making me me again.”

The program traced the Jewish legacy on Broadway, moving from such choral classics as “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof and “Over the Rainbow” from The Wizard of Oz to comedic numbers like “Everyone Hates His Parents” from Falsettos and “You Won’t Succeed on Broadway” from Spamalot. The evening struck a balance between laughter and an acknowledgment of pain after six difficult months.

When the cast joined together to sing “Close Every Door to Me” from Joseph, audience members cried, particularly during the phrase: “For we know we shall find our own peace of mind, for we have been promised a land of our own.” The performances ended with standing ovations.

Jessica Kligman, Jessica Kurzban, Joy Resmovits, Kayla Bastomski, and Dahlia Carr getting ready to perform “Four Jews in a Room” from the musical Falsettos

Dr. Estie Hess Samson and Amy Ritz will always be “Bosom Buddies!

Michaly Lahat and Jenessa Irvine are a son and daughter in “Tradition” from Fiddler on the Roof

Cast members Nikki Bascon Zeitune, Lisa Gruenbaum (crouching), Joy Resmovits, Shirley Basch, and Erin Krinsky love performing with the Jewish Women’s Repertory Company!

Women on Fertility Journey Have An Afternoon Pampering in LA

Yesh Tikva (“There is Hope”) is a Los Angeles-based national organization that works to provide those thrown into the world of infertility with free navi gational tools to cope emotionally and practically along this journey.

On March 31, a group of Jewish women came together for an afternoon of “Pam pering: Skin care, make-up and other tips and tricks to feel your best inside and out” in the La Brea area with Rivka Einseberg make-up, brow, and lash specialist. In her studio we came together as a compassionate community, creating a safe space to share expe riences, find solidarity, and build lasting connections between those currently on their fertility journey and some of Yesh Tikva’s peer mentors.

“This event was an empowering self-care and connection afternoon, especially for those on a fertility journey. At our Participant events we help build an atmosphere of community and support,” said Jackie Louk, Yesh Tikva’s Development Director. “We had the opportunity to discover the transformative power of skincare as we delve into tech niques to enhance natural beauty and nurture self-confidence.”

Studio pictures

Rivka Einseberg makeup and brow specialist

Highly Attended Pesach Product Shiur by Rabbi Eidlitz

Rabbi Eliezer Eidlitz of Yeshiva Ahron Yaakov/Ohr Eliyahu and director of Kosher Information Bureau presented his annual Pesach Product shiur at Anshe Emes Synagogue, Los Angeles on Wednesday April 3rd.

Rabbi Eidlitz covered a gamut of topics from A to V (avocado oil to Via) and more. Besides the “in person” attendees who asked insightful questions, there was also a very large international “attendance.” Ohev Shalom of Dallas, Texas, under the leadership of Rav Aryeh Rodin and Rav Ariel Darrison, were partners in the shiur, with many members of the Kehilla being introduced to Rabbi Eidletz’s vast knowledge in kashrus.

Kollel Yungerleit Celebrate Smicha Milestone

Agroup of determined men have embarked on the remarkable journey of receiving Smicha. Over the past year and a half, they have devoted countless hours to the rigorous learning of Hilchas Tahara, immersing themselves in the complexities of Halacha with unwavering commitment and enthusiasm.

“Their Hasmoda, Koach, Hashkoah, and Chazarah have led them to this momentous occasion,” said a representative of Hanhulas H’Kollel. “We are all inspired by their diligence and Hasmadah.”

Upon traveling from Los Angeles to New York to be tested by Gedolei Dayanim and Mechon L’Hara’a, the Hanhulas H’Kollel extends their sincerest Bracha for their Hatzlachah on this Bechinah and continued on until the completion of YOREH YOREH! Ashreichem Talmidei Chachamim Shedivrei Torah Chavivin Aleichem!

YACHAD LA Hosts Evening of Unity

Yachad Los Angeles, an organization under the Orthodox Union that provides services for adults with disabilities, hosted their Annual Evening of Unity last week at the Cameo Beverly Hills Rooftop. They had their biggest turn out yet! There was a Chinese Auction with incredible packages ALL 100% donated by local businesses. There were extraordinary food stations around the room all night to enjoy created by Premiere Catering. Everyone came together to learn about the vital work Yachad Los Angeles creates in the LA community. Special guests of the night included Yachad’s International Director Avromie Adler, Yachad’s Associate Director Chani Herrmann, and the Official Meira Cowland-Kolatch, Israel Advocate, made an appearance while visiting LA. Yachad Participants led a Chapter of Tehillim for the safety of Israel. We heard moving words from Yachad’s Drum Circle Teacher, Elizabeth Cohn. We watched how Yachad impacts the community today and ended the night with a meaningful Kumzitz to unite us all led by Happy Minyan’s Tuli Skaist. Of course, the Yachad participants danced the night away. It was a night to remember! If you’d like to show your support or get involved, please email losangelesyachad@ou.org for more information.

MEET THE DOCTORS

Dr. Richard Katz

Graduate of Georgetown dental School and has treated patients at the Pico office for over 40 years. Specializes in general and cosmetic dentistry.

Dr. Gabe Rosenthal

Graduate of USC, Dr. Gabe specializes in cosmetic dentistry with emphasis on veneers, Invisalign and full mouth reconstruction.

Dr. Farhad Shafa

Graduate of USC dental School, Dr. Shafa is a general and cosmetic specialist and specializes with patients who suffer from dental anxiety.

Dr. Hillel Katz

Dr. Hillel Katz is a graduate of NYU Dental School and served as chief resident at Bellevue Hospital in New York. He specializes in general, cosmetic, and implant dentistry.

Dr. Victor Israel

Graduate of Tufts University dental School, Dr. Vic is a periodontist specializing in implant and “all on 4” fixed dentistry.

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Dancing the night away to Kumzitz singerTuli Skaist of the Happy Minyan

L-R: Eitan W., Yachad participant Caleb Aranoff, Yachad LA Program Director Pesach M., Yachad participant Salar A., Yachad participant

Each table had a custom Yachad picture with quotes from various people on the back, why they love Yachad

Yachad LA Grandparents enjoying the night

Chinese Auction Donors

Avromie Adler, Yachad International Director

The ‘Bipolar DiSeder’ Embracing The Bipolarity: The Paradox of the Passover Seder

Why can’t we make up our minds on Seder night? Are we Broken Slaves or Freed people? Is Matzah the “Bread of Affliction”or the “Bread of Freedom’’? Are we to feel like royalty reclining while sipping on our grand wine goblets, or like the afflicted as we dip our food in bitter tear-tasting saltwater?

These questions echo through the ages, perplexing many who gather around the Seder table year after year. The Passover Seder, with its intricate blend of solemn remembrance and joyous celebration, often appears to present conflicting messages that are polar opposites of each other. However, perhaps therein lies its profound beauty.

In his monumental work, Netzach Yisrael, the famed Maharal sets down a fundamental truth that directly addresses this seeming paradox: העידי וכפהמ עדונ בוטה רבדה רשאכ יכ ,ךפהה ןמ םהב העידיה הנקנ םירבדה לכ ןכו ,תיתימא ,וכפה אוהש ןבלה הארמ תעדל לוכי רוחשה הארמ ןמ .ולש ךפהב העידיה הנקנ דחאה ןמ ,םיכפהה לכ ןכו הז ליבשבו .’דחא אוה םיכפהה תעידי‘ יכ אוה םכסומו ליחתמ’ הדגהב ).זטק םיחספ( םיחספ יברעב ורמא ינפמש קר ,תונגב ליחתמ המלו .‘חבשב םייסמו תונגב

“When a good thing is known from its opposite, that is true knowledge. The knowledge of all things is acquired from their opposite. It is from the appearance of black that one can gain knowledge of the appearance of white. And similarly with all opposites. From one is acquired the knowledge of its opposite. It is widely accepted that ’the knowledge of opposites is all one thing’. Because of this, the [Sages] say in Arvei Pesachim that in the Haggadah ’one begins with disgrace and concludes with praise’. Why do they begin with disgrace? Only because true praise can only be recognized from its opposite.”

Simply put, without contrast, we can’t appreciate the true essence of something. A radiant diamond can be better appreciated against a dull black backdrop. Health is cherished more profoundly after recovering from illness. The list goes on.

This fundamental principle is echoed in the tradition of the Seder itself. We begin by recounting the bitter experiences of slavery and oppression, tasting the tears of our ancestors through the saltwater and bitter herbs. Yet, as the evening progresses, we transition into celebration, reclining like royalty and rejoicing in our liberation. Even the matzah transforms from

Passover: The Goal

I t’s almost midnight. Your kids are away from the table, either dozing off or chasing their cousins. Your wife is translating the Haggadah to an old Persian lady. Your cousin suddenly looks at his watch and calls out “Time to recite the “shema” prayer!” The food has yet to come.

Confusion and frustration reign when a goal is unclear. Someone screaming “lousy Q-tip” holding a sharpened pencil to his ear is confused about the pencil’s goal.

What’s the goal of the Passover seder? To have a family gathering? To help the needy? To finish the Haggadah?

God made it clear: “Your son will one day ask you about Exodus, and this is what you shall answer him.” Haggadah literally means to tell. Everything else is noise.

I don’t invite guests for the first night. On the second night, I make it amply clear that the goal is my conversation with the kids.

When the goal is clear, everyone, especially you and your wife, is on the same page. There’s little noise on the channel and you have Shalom Bayit!

being bread of affliction to bread of freedom! It’s almost as if, without the affliction, it would not have become the bread of freedom. This is precisely the process that many great kabbalists and chasidim focus on when discussing the process of הילע ךרוצל הדירי, ’descent for the sake of ascent.’

To add to the drama of my own family Seder, my children know I will be bringing out an old chipped plate from the 1990s. Don’t be misled; this is not the Seder plate. It is an empty plate with a colorful daisy on it. Decades ago, my mother told me on a hot summer day that our family was going through financially difficult times. To make matters more unbearable, the AC was broken, and when it came time to pay the repairman, she didn’t have enough money in the bank account. In desperation, she offered the plate set to him as collateral until she had enough funds to pay for the repair. My mother gave this plate to me as a momento to remind me never to forget where we came from, and to further appreciate every dollar in our bank account.

Yes, the Seder reminds us of where we came from and where we are destined to go. More importantly, it’s not just knowledge of the past that we recall, rather, we lean in and expe-

rience our freedom through that past.

Don’t get me wrong, we do not seek hard times and we shouldn’t constantly sulk in those negative memories and experiences. However, when they are thrust upon us, we can seek it as an opportunity. An opportunity for a meditative experience. Through understanding the difficulty, the inevitable bright days ahead will be even brighter. At times it may be painful to dig up the past, but by leaning into the darkness, we can understand how, not in spite of, but because of it, we are stronger, more resilient and have a better perspective.

Let us not squander the opportunity presented by the seeming bi-polar nature of the Seder. Instead, let us embrace them, knowing that they enrich our understanding and appreciation of our journey from slavery to freedom, from darkness to a higher perceived light.

Eman Esmailzadeh is a graduate of UC Irvine where he studied Mechanical Engineering and Business Management. After college, he advanced his Torah studies at various Yeshivas in New York and Jerusalem. With over 20 years of community service, he is a social entrepreneur, co-founding several community organizations including Bayit.LA. He can be reached e@joojcapital.com.

ךפהה ןמ קר תיתימא הרכה חבשל ןיאש

Rabbi Nir and his wife Atrian give regular classes on Shalom Bayit. His popular 3-minute podcast is funny and draws Shalom Bayit ideas from the Torah portion of the week. To register: ShalomInComics@gmail.com

At Cedars-Sinai, we hold fast to the strong Jewish foundation we were built on over a century ago. Whether partnering with institutions to conduct groundbreaking research, supporting Jewish and community organizations through grants that feed and house our neighbors, or providing spiritual care for Jewish families, we’re here to ensure this holiday of freedom is celebrated in good health.

We wish you a happy Pesach.

Pesach marks our origin as the Jewish nation. Now, let’s be there for every Jew.

Life is expensive. Around Yom Tov season, the costs are even greater. And Pesach most of all.

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Because when there’s room in the heart There’s room at the table

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By: Rabbi Yehuda Spitz

Kashering Teeth?!

Seventy-five years ago, a relatively unknown young avreich (Kollel Youngerman) living in Eretz Yisrael wrote a very detailed and extensive halachic query to the Gadol HaDor of the time, the renowned Chazon Ish, Rav Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz zt”l, regarding a personal pressing issue. Apparently, this young Talmudic scholar had gold crowns on his teeth, and wanted to clarify their halachic status in relation to Pesach. It is well-known that metal utensils used for Chametz (leavened dough products such as bread) year round need to be kashered (the act of kosherizing) to be fit for Pesach use, generally by dipping them into a vat of boiling water. The problem here is that crowns fitted over bad teeth, although made of metal, are actually embedded in the mouth, so that would seem to rule out the boiling water. Would he have to forgo hot food the entire Pesach?

This question is not only relevant to crowns, but even to fillings, implants, braces, and bridges. What is one to do? Now, by your God-given set of choppers,all agree that these natural teeth do not need to be kashered in order to render them suitable for use on Pesach, as they are considered part and parcel of the body. Furthermore, the material of which they are fashioned (enamel) is not considered halachically absorbent. That is why nothing more than a thorough cleaning (brushing and flossing) on Erev Pesach after eating our last bite of Chametz is necessary to have a kosher l’Pesach mouth. However, to resolve the issue of crowns and implants, we must first digress to a more common concern: dentures and false teeth, which were already addressed by halachic authorities a generation or two earlier.

Many halachic deciders of the previous generations felt that there was no need to kasher dentures between eating hot meat and hot milk due to a variety of reasons including:

1. Dentures’ makeup is similar to natural teeth and are also considered halachically nonabsorbent.

2. Most people do not generally eat food while it's piping hot, which inhibits any actual absorption into the false teeth.

3. By the time the food is eaten it is already considered a kli shlishi (or at the very least a kli sheni – meaning at least twice removed from being cooked on the fire, and not considered halachic cooking), which according to most authorities hinders the food’s ability to be absorbed in the false teeth.

In other words, relating to the issue of Bassar B’Chalav, dentures are deemed not to be considered an actual utensil that requires kashering, but rather similar

to genuine teeth themselves, sharing the same relevant halachos.

Several authorities maintain that the very same ruling would apply for Pesach, and rule that a thorough cleaning of the false teeth prior to Pesach would be sufficient.

Yet, other authorities, including the famed Maharsham, feel that one must be more stringent regarding Pesach, and rule that one must at least do an Iruy Roschin, or pour boiling hot water over them, to be suitable for Pesach use. It must be noted, though, that Iruy is a lesser form of kashering and is usually not considered an acceptable process for utensils.

This is all relevant to our discussion, as the issue is how do we define these crowns, fillings, implants, and braces, et al? If we were to follow the Maharsham’s ruling and necessitate Iruy before Pesach, how can we accomplish this, if they have since become a part of us?

In his writing, our young scholar offered and rejected various rationales, until finally hitting upon what he felt was the proper halachic solution, echoing the words of the great Chasam Sofer and his son the Ksav Sofer. They maintained that when meat would be left inside the mouth, the combination of the salivary juices, natural heat, and chemical reactions taking place in the oral cavity, greatly accelerate the digestive process, and render that “meat” Pagum, repulsive and utterly inedible, and resulting in its losing its status of meat. This

avreich extrapolated that the same underlying principle would apply to implants (and even dentures) as well, and thereby negating the need for kashering, as any possible absorbed taste or flavor of Chametz would long ago have been considered Pagum and thus negligible.

Although he did qualify his resolution, stating that it is proper not to eat any Chametz within 24 hours before Pesach, and to drink a hot cup of water (hotter than usual) prior to the onset of Pesach, still, he felt that even so, a proper oral cleaning would still be halachically sufficient.

So, what was the name of our erudite scholar?

None other than Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l, later to become the Gadol HaDor in his own right! His letter actually turned out to be one of his most famous published halachic rulings in his three volume collection of responsa, Shu”t Minchas Shlomo. Several other contemporary authorities echo Rav Shlomo Zalman’s sound reasoning in their own applicable rulings. And although the Chazon Ish never actually replied in writing to his letter, it is known that he accepted Rav Shlomo Zalman’s ruling as halacha, and did not mandate any sort of kashering for dentures or crowns and implants! In fact, when later asked why he never sent an official response, the Chazon Ish replied that “the author asked for my opinion, but after such a complete and articulate take on the situation, what can I possibly add?

© Reprinted with Permission from Ohr Somayach

Personal Perspective

Redemption and the Birth of a Nation Finding Lasting Change with the Forging of a New Identity

As we celebrate the holiday of redemption this week, there is much we can learn from the generation that left Mitzrayim after two centuries of oppression and slavery about the true meaning of redemption. You may recall that the generation that left Mitzrayim, those who directly witnessed the miracles of the plagues and sea, was not the same generation that entered the Land of Israel. After the cheit of the Meraglim, the Medrash tells us that each year over the 40 years spent wandering in the desert, the generation that left Egypt dug their own graves each year on Tisha B’av, and did not enter the Promised Land. The commentaries Ibn Ezra and Nechama Liebowitz elucidate that although the Exodus brought forth the birth of the new nation of Am Yisrael, the “generation of the Wilderness,” even after leaving Egypt, was unable to fully let go of their identity as slaves. Without a new, expanded identity, lasting change was not possible, and they never experienced what it means to truly be free.

Many of us strive to make lasting change in our daily lives, whether it be in our relationships, our physical bodies, our finances, or our happiness and mental states. What we may not realize is that in order to create lasting change in any of these areas, there needs to be an identity shift or a new expanded identity.

Unfortunately, behaviors and goals alone are not enough to make change permanent, because the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves. For example, if we have a goal to lose weight but we see ourselves as someone who is overweight, our identity will triumph every time, even if it is an identity that does not serve us. If we believe we are something, that belief of who we are will color our behavior for the rest of our lives.

The month of Nissan, during which Pesach falls, is commonly referred to as the month of redemption. In the Gemara, it states “In Nissan they were redeemed, in Nissan they will be redeemed” (Rosh Hashanah 11a). And yet, despite the wondrous miracles the redeemed Jews witnessed in Mitzrayim and during the Exodus itself, their intense faith is proven to be transient. Twentieth-century Biblical scholar Nechama Liebowitz explains that their skepticism, the residuals of their two-hundred-year identity as slaves, imprison them even as they are on the brink of freedom. The “generation of the Wilderness’’ suffered from a slave-complex

cultivated during centuries of Egyptian bondage: having lived their entire lives as slaves to their Egyptian masters, the Jewish people could not see beyond this and were imprisoned by their subconscious subservience, despite no longer being physically enslaved in Egypt.

The pesukim relate that upon seeing Pharoah and his chariots in pursuit, the Jewish people froze in fear and cried out to Moshe, “Was it for want of graves in Egypt that you brought us to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us, taking us out of Egypt? Is this not the very thing we told you in Egypt, saying, ’Let us be, and we will serve the Egyptians, for it is better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness’?” (Shemos 14:11-12). In his commentary on these verses, Ibn Ezra explains that the reason why a group of 600,000 young and strong men shrank back in fear of their pursuers was because they were psychologically incapable of defending themselves against the very people who had been their owners and masters for centuries. The Jews were stuck in their “slave mentality,” just as we may be stuck with our identities.

Ibn Ezra’s psychological insight extends beyond this one interaction with the Egyptians. The Wilderness generations’ slave-mentality influences their wanderings in the desert, preventing them from fighting against the Egyptians and Amalek, as well as causing them to complain constantly for food and water and, commit the sin of the meraglim (spies), barring them from entering Eretz Yisrael. This was not a generation with the willpower needed to fight against the Canaanim and conquer the land of Israel. For this reason, Ibn Ezra states, the current generation would die during their 40-year wanderings in the desert, during which time a new generation, one that was not born into slavery and therefore free from the psychological bondage of slavery, would be raised and ready to conquer the land of Canaan.

In order for the generation of the Wilderness to have been able to enter the land of Israel, a paradigm shift of identity from slavery to freedom was needed. Unfortunately, despite their strong emunah in G-d, which enabled them to follow Moshe into the desert, and their desire to enter the promised Land, the Wilderness generation was ultimately unable to escape their slave identity. They were forever imprisoned by it, despite being physically freed from their Egyptian slave owners.

The lesson of the generation of the Wilderness still applies today. We each hold identities and beliefs that inhibit us from making lasting change. By investigating them this Pesach, we can forge new identities that will set us free and bring us the quality of life we desire. Personally, I have shaped, formed and expanded many new identities for myself, including my identity as a single mother. My identity has shifted from believing that a good mother must be a martyr (which does not serve us!) to believing and identifying that a good mother means being a (role)model.

There is a price we pay for living to satisfy who we believe we “should be.” For the Wilderness generation, the cost of being locked into their slave identity was dying in the desert. It is easy to blame external cir-

cumstances, such as COVID-19, change or uncertainty, challenging relationships, work and more for our struggles. But ultimately, it is up to us to create a new identity and belief for ourselves, set increased standards and create rituals to protect our new identities so that we can become who we believe we really are.

Alanna Apfel is the founder and patient advocate at AA Insurance Advocacy, which helps therapy patients, individuals, couples, and children, save thousands of dollars annually on their out-of-network mental health therapy bills. In the months that AA Insurance Advocacy has been advocating on behalf of patients, clients have collected anywhere from $5,000 to $45,000 a year in reimbursements, depending on the cost and frequency of therapy. If your preferred therapist doesn’t take your health insurance, we can help negotiate with your plan to cover your out-of-pocket therapy costs. For further information, please contact aainsuranceadvocate@gmail.com.

• Examine the picture to left carefully!

• Keep track of the number of logos you find.

• Submit your guess to editor@thelajewishhome.com. Include your name, school, and age.

• The deadline is Friday, May 3.

Guess correctly and you’ll be entered into a raffle to win a $15 gift cardat Munchies!

FYI: LOCUSTS

Though some types of grasshoppers and locusts appear to be nearly identical, their behaviors differ. Grasshoppers are considered solitary creatures, whereas locusts are typically solitary but can also exhibit swarm behavior when the conditions are ripe.

During periods of famine, locusts begin to forage for food, often bumping into other locusts doing the same thing. When they come into contact with other locusts for at least five seconds out of every hour, for four consecutive hours, the hormone serotonin is released, which triggers a change in locusts’ behavior, causing them to give up the solitary life and swarm together with a group.

Locusts with activated swarm behavior are said to be in the gregarious phase

When swarm behavior is activated, locusts undergo physical changes. Their bodies broaden, wings elongate, and their brains become about 30% larger. They also change colors, trading in their subdued greens for striking blacks, browns, and even bright yellows and oranges.

Locust swarms can be so large that they can cover more than 400 square miles at once. Or, in the case of Makkas Arbeh, the entire land of Egypt!

By: Ruchy Reese

Locusts can fly for 15 hours at a time and eat their body weight in food every day.

When in the gregarious state, locusts have been known to eat almost anything, even furniture, clothing, and other locusts. The Midrash Hagadol says that the locusts also consumed the corpses of the many people who died during Makkas Arbeh.

The sounds of a swarm of locusts chomping can be formidable; their powerful jaws can be heard even from a distance!

Once a swarm is activated, hardly anything can stop them.

For the last several months, a huge swarm of locusts has been attacking multiple countries in East Africa. It is a huge concern for those communities, as foodstuffs are being wiped out at a rapid pace, plunging many into extreme famine.

Locusts, like other insects, can cause respiratory difficulties for those who are sensitive. A swarm of locusts can be a trigger for asthma

The Rocky Mountain Locust, the main species of locust in North America, was considered extinct by 1902. Until that point, swarms of locusts ravaged the United States from time to time.

Locusts are edible and enjoyed by many around the world, though only four types are kosher. It is forbidden to eat locusts unless one has a clear mesorah describing which ones are permissible to eat… Not that many of us would want to!

Despite suffering the stupendous loss of their entire agriculture system, the Mitzriyim were thrilled that they’d be able to eat the locusts that were plaguing them. To that end, they pickled them by the hundreds, but when Hashem called away the swarm, even the locusts in the barrels disappeared

The Kli Yakar says that the locusts in Mitzrayim were blind, causing them to be insatiable, because as the Gemara teaches, one who is unable to see their food doesn’t find satisfaction. But why were they blind? One answer, provided by the Panim Yafos, states that they were blind because there were simply so many of them that they completely blocked out the sun, preventing them from seeing at all.

Mitzrayim had been in an ongoing dispute over borders with the Bnei Cham up until Makkas Arbeh. Once the locusts covered the land of Egypt, however, the dispute was laid to rest, as the locusts only plagued Mitzrayim, stopping at the borders.

The Midrash Tanchuma teaches that Makkos Arbeh was because the Mitzriyim forced the Bnei Yisroel to toil in their fields. Middah k’neged middah, the locusts destroyed all of their crops.

Fascinatingly, the Baal Haturim says that the arbeh did not swarm on Shabbos.

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FEEL FREE TO ASK

The advice column “Dear Abby” once jokingly answered a reader’s inquiry, “Why do Jews always answer a question with a question?” by saying, “How else should they answer?”

On Pesach, we replicate the experience of going from slavery to freedom by drinking wine, reclining like royalty, and eating a delicious meal. However, the Seder teaches us that the highest expression of freedom is the ability to question. Slaves, after all, are never permitted to ask questions. Both asking and allowing questions are essential traits of freedom.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks once said, “Against cultures that see unquestioning obedience as the ideal behavior of a child, Jewish tradition, in the Haggadah, regards the ‘child who has not learned to ask’ as the lowest, not the highest, stage of development.”

We are shackled by our comfortable and familiar thinking patterns. Nothing can be learned if not challenged. Truth can only be claimed if it can withstand the storm of questions.

Questions debunk assumptions and expose misinformation. They are a form of resistance against control and manipulation. They combat mental rigidity and promote adaptability. They are fundamental in problem-solving.

If we don’t challenge what’s around us, from societal norms to political decisions, chances are we’re just marching along with the crowd heading nowhere. If we don't question what’s within us, we are slaves to our instinctive thoughts and desires. When we dare to ask, we claim our freedom and direct our own destinies.

The willingness to allow questions — to create space for them — is also a sign of freedom.

The Wicked Son is welcomed at the table too. That teaches us that all questions are important, even those that appear to challenge the status quo or our belief structure.

Consider the character traits of someone who doesn’t create space for questions: Dictator. Tyrant. Autocrat. A Pharaoh.

This is a person who strives to control everything. Such a person fears not having the answers. This person is uncertain in his position and unconfident. He fears being proven wrong, or being exposed as something other than what he claims to represent. He fears the truth because he is bound by a lie.

THE BRAIN'S RESPONSE TO QUESTIONS

Our subconscious mind influences 95% of the life we live, but it is generally out of reach. For us to grow, evolve, expand and change we want to peek behind that curtain to see what is tucked away behind it. When you ask questions to which you don't have the answers for in your conscious mind, you open a little door for the subconscious to come through.

How does the magic happen?

We have a primal need to complete patterns. Questions trigger a mental reflex known as “instinctive elaboration.” When a question is posed, it hijacks your brain by generating a prompt that the brain can’t help but expand upon. Your brain will focus its resources, both conscious and unconscious, solely on answering your question. It is an autonomic response that we can’t consciously control, like breathing and blinking.

It’s important to know that your response is consciously up to you: you can ignore the question, explore the question, get annoyed by the question, be intrigued by the question… Your response will be based on how you feel about the question.

Instinctive Elaboration is your friend when you ask solid questions that you are emotionally ready to embrace. If you are not getting an answer, it has little to do with biology, and more to do with your specific question.

Questioning is more than an intellectual exercise. It is a gateway to our emotional and spiritual freedom. By fearlessly challenging norms, we free ourselves of unexamined limitations. What would you discover if you dared to ask more?

Chaya Vapaus

Rabbi Shmuel Reichman

Inspiring Insights fo� Your Seder Night

WHAT’S WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?

A notably prominent theme of the Seder is that of asking questions. While “Mah Nishtanah” is the most obvious example, the commentators explain many features of the Seder as purely serving as an impetus for the children to ask questions. It's not only children, though, who are enjoined to question. The Gemara in Pesachim (116a) says that if a man's child cannot ask the questions, then his wife should, and if he has no wife, he must ask himself questions. Even if two Torah scholars are sharing their Seder together, they should ask each other. Why is questioning such an integral part of the Pesach Seder?

Asking questions is the gateway to learning. A question creates a gap- it allows you to recognize your current limitations, to shed the illusion that you already know everything. You can only learn something once you realize that you don't already understand it. The Gemara in Gittin (43a) says that you can only understand a Torah concept if you originally struggled with it. Only by recognizing that you don't already know something can you break it down, analyze it, and see it in a new way, thereby building a new, deeper understanding. If you believe that you fully understand something, you simply will not allow your mind to develop a new way of seeing it. Only by realizing a lack in your understanding and perception can you develop deeper paradigms.

The Seder night serves as an opportunity to pass over our mesorah, our tradition and legacy, to the next generation. It's a night when we speak about emunah (faith), the meaning of being a Jew, and our purpose in this world. In order to teach these lessons to our children and ourselves in a deep and lasting way, we must encourage the Seder participants to ask questions, no matter the age or knowledge-level.

Our yetzer hara (evil inclination) convinces us that we are perfect, that we already know everything. As such, there's no need to question. This flawed belief is personified by Eisav, who was born fully hairy. Hair is the outermost expression of a grown human being - Eisav projected the belief that he was completely developed and therefore required no additional growth. The name "Eisav" itself is the word "asui" - meaning made or complete. Eisav represents the illusion of being complete, perfect, not requiring any further work or growth.

Our goal and mission as the Jewish People is to grow, develop ourselves, and fulfill our potential. On the Seder night, as we focus on whom each of us can become, we ask questions - creating holes that we then yearn to fill with additional knowledge, insight, and growth.

What do you need today?

-Daniela Gol

What are you afraid of?

-Pessie F.

If there is a piece of information I learn and someone else wants me to tell them about it and I feel it's a secret. I ask myself “Is my reason for not telling them because it truly is private or is it because I want to feel good about knowing something that someone else doesn’t know?”

If it is the latter, I tell them.

-Dubi Heyman

A COLLECTION OF POWERFUL QUESTIONS

SUBMITTED BY OUR READERS

What do my actions say about my goals?

-B. W.

8th days songThe Rabbi’s son: “How can I know where I am going if I don’t know where I am coming from?”

“How can I know what I’m living if I don’t know what I am dying for?”

-Chani Heyman

Where and how can you make the best contribution to the world?

-Rabbi Jason Weiner

How do you treat yourself? You’re going to be with yourself forever.

-Daniela Gol

At what percentage of capacity am I living my life? The answer, if being completely honest, is usually very scary and makes one wonder why they are at such a low capacity level if they believe they can do so much more.

-Moshe Storch

What am I grateful for today?

-Yoni Shraga

When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and did something you don’t usually do?

-Chani Katz

Is it worth it? Getting mad, annoyed, insulted?

-Shera Josephs

If today was my last day, how would I spend it?

-Moe Abramson

What does Hashem want me to do now?

-Chaim Younger

What is your life tagline?

-Tanya Heyman

Am I doing this out of love or fear?

-Debby Bogen

Perspective

Shift: Why do I do destructive things that I know are not good for me?

-Frank Menlo

What if one more act of goodness and kindness is all that is needed to bring Moshiach?

-David Kaye

What is holding you back from speaking up?

-Chaya Fasten

Did I make gains today?

-Elie Anderson

If I believe that Hashem is the most powerful, that everyone/everything is fully reliant on Him and only Him, that everything He does is for my best, that He is in complete control, and that He loves and cares about me so much, and is always right there with me, just waiting for me to get close to Him, then why don't I? What is holding me back? Why am I not overly excited with happiness knowing this is a constant reality? Why am I blocking this out and not integrating it into my life when I know it is the most powerful tool I can possibly use to achieve the ultimate and truest success in all areas?

-Moshe Storch

Rabbi Elephant’s: זאו המ- and then what?

-Yosef Percal

Untamed: “If my daughter was in this marriage, would I be happy for her?”

As parents we have instinctive intuition about what our kids need. What if we tuned in on the same level when it came to our own needs?

-Alanna Apfel

Why do I believe in what I was taught?

-Mendy Ginsburg

Would I make this comment if today was my last day?

-Yosef Hedvat

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Notable Quotes

Israel was the target of a brutal attack, and this type of thing requires a response that sets the example. Israel is not committing any excess.

- Argentinian President Javier Milei in a wide-ranging interview with CNN

I’m currently out of the country, but if what I’ve written here qualifies as an offense under the terms of the new act, I look forward to being arrested when I return to the birthplace of the Scottish Enlightenment.

- Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling after posting a “politically incorrect” tweet that violates Scotland’s new woke hate crime act which makes it a crime to “mis-identify” people

If the Veterans Administration wants to use AI in VA hospitals to help doctors diagnose patients, they would first have to demonstrate that AI does not produce racially biased diagnoses.

- Vice Pres. Kamala Harris stating that AI needs to prove that it is not racist before it can become a tool used by the federal government

To prevent the possibility of being attacked in your home, leave your fobs at the front door because they are breaking into your home to steal your car; they don’t want anything else.

- A Toronto police spokesman advising people to make it easier for car thieves to locate their car keys within their homes so that thieves will only steal people’s cars and not attack them

I don’t think that any of our aid that goes to Israel to support our greatest ally, arguably in the world to defeat Hamas, Iran, and Russia…we shouldn’t be spending a dime on humanitarian aid. It should be like Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Get it over quick.

- Republican Rep. Tim Walberg (R-MI) at a recent townhall, drawing outrage from the people who advocate for the genocide of Israelis with chants of “From the river to the sea…”

Any other nation that was adjacent to a neighboring nation that was bombing it with rockets, sending commandos over to murder its citizens, pledging itself to murder every person in that nation and annihilate it, would go and level it with aerial bombardment. But Israel is a moral nation. So it didn’t do that. Instead, it built an Iron Dome to protect itself so it would not have to go into Gaza.

- Robert F. Kennedy Jr., in an interview with The Jerusalem Post

You know what’s worse than getting rejected from a PhD program at your dream school? Having your entire higher ed system bombed to oblivion.

- Tweet by Gazan Omar D. Foda

That’s why I made sure that none of the PhD programs I applied to had tunnels beneath them or rocket launchers in the classrooms.

- Response Tweet by S. Rozenblatt, Ph.D.

There’s a silent majority that remains committed to the U.S.-Israel relationship… I think we have to be careful not to mistake a visible vocal minority, amplified on Twitter, for a majority. My overarching message to the Israeli people is that Israel is not alone. Despite the background and the ways of American politics, the majority of America stands with Israel, the majority of Congress stands with Israel. You might never know that if you live on Twitter, but Twitter is not the real world. It’s a distortion of reality.

- Congressman Ritchie Torres (D-Bronx), who is a staunch supporter of Israel, in an interview with the Times of Israel during his recent trip to Israel

There are no innocent citizens there… They negotiated with Hamas to sell me. When they were paid, I was taken straight into a tunnel.

- Released hostage Nili Margalit, 42, in an interview with a French newspaper, disclosing that she was actually taken hostage by Gazan civilians, not Hamas 1963, 1972, ‘79, ‘84, ‘88, ‘91, ‘94, ‘98, ‘99, 2012, 2017, 2023… I probably won’t be around for the next one

- 105-year-old Texas resident LaVerne Biser in an interview with a local TV station listing off the solar eclipses that he has seen, predicting that he won’t make it to the next solar eclipse which will take place in 2045

There are some things that are just fundamental human decency, and when I ask you if what happened on October 7 is something you condemn, and you say, “Well, you have to look at that by looking at hundreds of years of conflict.” No, you don’t. That’s either right or it’s wrong, and it was wrong, and I don’t need a hundred years of conflict to know it was wrong.

- Dr. Phil to two Palestinian activists on his show

In fact, since October 7, I personally don’t differentiate between Hamas and the so-called Palestinians because, actually, there are no Palestinians, there are tribes. There is a tribe of Hamas, and there is the tribe of the Islamic Jihad … and each one has different interests, and all of them are conflicted. If they did not have Israel as the common enemy, they would kill each other. This is the reality.

- Mosab Hassan Yousef, the son of Hamas co-founder Sheikh Hassan Yousef, who fled to Israel, on the Dr. Phil Show

Israel Needs to Own It, As Do We

Last week, Israel suffered a major diplomatic backlash over the airstrike that killed an American-Canadian citizen and five other international aid workers delivering food to the Gaza Strip.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu apologized for what he described as an “unintentional” hit — as security sources blamed the attack on rogue army units hunting a Hamas terrorist.

The White House was “outraged” by news National Security Council spokesman John Kirby said, noting that the Biden administration was glad to see that Netanyahu had committed to investigating the incident.

“As we understand it, a preliminary investigation has been completed today and presented to the Army Chief of Staff and we’ll obviously look to see what they discover in this preliminary one, but we expect the broader investigation to be conducted and to be done so in a swift and comprehensive manner,” Kirby said.

“We hope that those findings will be made public and that there is appropriate accountability held,” he added.

To make matters worse, two of the vehicles used by WCK were clearly marked with the charity’s logo.

Prior to this tragedy, Israel was already being accused by the public and media as being too aggressive and indiscriminate in their approach to defeating Hamas in Gaza. President Biden repeatedly criticized Israel as not doing enough to ensure the safety of civilians in Gaza, including humanitarian workers who are providing lifesaving aid to the local population. This incident only serves to validate those accusations. Fortunately, President Biden is not expected to impose restrictions on providing Israel weapons or place limitations on how Israel uses them.

Matthew Hennessey of the Wall Street Journal picked up on a silver lining in his piece, “Israel Takes Responsibility. Who Else Does?” He astutely

credits Israel for quickly apologizing for the tragedy and accepting responsibility for it.

He writes as follows: “Israel has taken responsibility. What a concept. And what a contrast with its adversary. The only thing Hamas takes responsibility for is doing what it loves: spreading terror and delivering death. When a bomb goes off in a marketplace, it claims responsibility. When a crazed maniac knifes random people on a bus, it claims responsibility. But when the subject is its failure to give Gazans a better life, Hamas throws up its arms. It didn’t take responsibility for the lies it told about the misfired terrorist rocket that hit Gaza City’s Al-Shifa hospital in October, or for that matter for using the hospital as a command center. It doesn’t take responsibility for the human calamity it has unleashed on its people with the unspeakable atrocities of Oct. 7.

No. Hamas, in its rhetoric and propaganda, pushes all responsibility for the suffering of Gazans onto Israel— and not just Israel, onto Jews and Americans. Hamas is always innocent, always at the mercy of perfidious forces…. Yet here we are: “Israel takes responsibility.” You’ll never hear the same of Hamas.”

It is imperative that we follow in those footsteps. When we are speaking to colleagues and friends about the war in Israel, we need to own this as well and express our disappointment with the tragedy. We must extend our condolences to the families that lost their loved ones. Saying nothing may be easier but it only plays into the false narrative that Israel and Jews lack sensitivity when innocent civilians are killed in the midst of this war.

Author and life coach Sanhita Baruah wisely wrote, “Apologize! That’s the least you can do to try to make right something you have wronged.”

Lou Shapiro is a criminal defense attorney-certified specialist and legal analyst, but most importantly, makes the end-of-shul announcements at Adas Torah. He can be reached at LouisJShapiro@gmail. com.

Are We Still There?

As Yom Tov approaches, I received various “Dear Dinis” that encompassed very similar themes, and therefore I asked special permission to address the topic as one article. The questions at this point seem to have a common thread through them: How to avoid PTSD of trying to enjoy and celebrate Yom Tov without worrying about what is looming over Israel.

As we prepared to dance and regal with the Torah on Succos, all around the world no matter what country you were in, news poured in of the terrible massacre by Hamas, and slowly unfolded with numbers too shocking to bare. Now as we have had (at the time of this writing) 180 days to try to make sense and digest the ongoing war, we face a coming Yom Tov with a twisted sense of trepidation.

Held Hostage by Fear

Some people are excited to pack their bags and travel to fun and exotic places to share a Seder. Other families are scrubbing down the house in preparation for a new “spring cleaned” home in which to have their families - children, grandchildren, perhaps even great grandchildren - gather

around for a prestige Seder. In both and all cases, there isn’t anyone who isn’t feeling the looming worry of what happens when we open up our cell phones on Motzei Yom Tov. What news will we hear as we walk into Shul from a security guard standing there to protect us? And of course, there is a question of how it can be that the hostages won’t be home to share in a Seder with their family. And how are parents and wives

discussing the point of freedom, while at the same time mourning their sons and husbands, who selflessly gave their lives to defend Israel against its raging enemies? The dichotomy is overwhelming!

Some of the other letters I received

such as a bad marriage, toxic relationships, and worse of all, stuck in their lives and finding it almost impossible to climb out of it. These letters, emails and phone calls have come my way, way before there was ever a Dear Dini column, and it’s specific to Pesach. For these individuals, it’s hard enough that they find their daily life in shambles. Now they have to sit at a table and talk about previous generations’ slav-

ery and trauma, when they consider themselves still enslaved, in one way or another.

So how do we work with this? Those of us who are anxious about what is happening in Israel and those who are trying to swim above water when drowning seems the only option? I believe there is a big correlation that ties these two together, and at the same time, I believe it takes a lot of work to get to the other side.

Turning Anxiety Into Purpose

There are many people who are questioning how the events of October 7th could have occurred. Then and now it helps no one to ask how this could have happened.

What has helped is the copious amount of love and unity that has shown its beautiful self since then. What has helped the parents sitting shiva for their sons is the knowledge that their son died saving his country, our country. When women, such as Hadas Lowenstern, tell us to keep loving one another, and she will continue to

raise her children as her beloved husband wanted her to do, we understand what courage means in real time. When the mother of Hirsh gets on an Instagram video every single day and shares how hope is her guiding light, we understand what strength is, not yesterday, not last year, not thousands of years ago, but now every day, each day.

Will we close our phones and wonder what will be? Yes we will. As long as the Jewish nation has a beating heart, we will always wonder. We need to take this anxiety and turn it into purpose. What can we do? We love and hug our children. We can sit at a Seder no matter where, and breathe a sigh of gratitude, and speak the language of gratitude. There will be a lot missing from each Seder this year. Some more than others, some with sharper pain than others, there isn’t a seder that won’t feel it. But I challenge you to take that feeling, and make it into a purpose. A purpose with prayer, a purpose with freedom, a purpose to acknowledge what we do have and to lead with that in mind. Our world is different now, maybe our Seder should be as well.

Being a Slave to Slavery

At the sedar in the Hagada we say “Had Hashem not taken our fathers out of Egypt, we and our children and our children’s children would still be there today.” Why do we say this statement when we know that Hashem promised Avraham Aveinu that he would take us out? Not only that, but we were told we would leave with great wealth, so why would we say that we would still be there today? Either it was a 400 year Galus or it was a Galus that lasted until today, counting the “Us.” So which one is it? Hashem promised us that we were going to leave, not stay forever.

At the end of that paragraph it says “Even those who are wise, and knowledgeable, and know the whole Torah, they would still be obligated to tell the story of the Exodus, and those who do tell the story will be greatly rewarded.” Why also does the Hagada mention the different types of people that have to learn about Yitzias Mitzryim? A mitzvah is a mitzvah. Since when does it rely on what level we are or who we are or what we know? If every one of us must do this, why bother detailing the

distinct types of people? “We were slaves in Mitzrayim, and then Hashem took us out.” Who were the slaves, our ancestors or us? These three questions have correlation to those who feel enslaved and trapped.

In Parshas Mishpatim, the Torah speaks about a Din, a law, called an Eved Ivri. For six years, a slave serves his master, and in the seventh year he goes free. The Torah teaches us that if the slave wants to stay with his master, perhaps during his time in slavery he was given a woman and had children, and he does not want to go free. What happens to this person? The owner takes him to court, he gets his ear pierced and the Torah says he stays forever (some commentaries say it’s until Yoval). He now begins a new era of slavery. What is the difference between the two cycles of slavery? The first 6 years he was in slavery because of circumstances that got him there. Perhaps he committed a crime, or something of that nature that got him sold into slavery. The second time, he is choosing to continue to be a slave, which is self-inflicted. The question is asked, why would a slave choose to stay a slave? Here

we are giving you freedom, shalom, run, goodbye, do as you wish, be a free man, and yet you choose to stay? The Torah states, now that you’re continuing to be a slave, that is your choice. The terrible twisted irony is that one cannot force someone to choose freedom. We can yell and shout and scream from the rooftops, and yet we cannot force someone to see the choice of freedom that is in front of them. If one chooses slavery over freedom, then slavery is your destiny forever. So, the Torah will say, the slave was given a choice to be free and instead he decided to continue to be enslaved.

The Meforshim states a parallel of this law to the story of us in Mitzrayim. The Jewish people were forced to go to Mitzrayim. The circumstances of how we got there was not in our control. The decree was that we would be enslaved in Mitzrayim, for four hundred years, and after which time Hashem would take us out. Every time we were meant to leave, every time Hashem tried to take us out, we complained, we couldn’t trust the process, and could not believe and trust we would be free. The Jewish people would mention with fond nostalgia how great Egypt was for them, because for some reason it seemed splendor to them, rather than taking the leap of faith.

So when we read that if it had not been for Hashem we would still be there, it literally means that we would still be in that slavery today. Hashem had to grab us and move us out forcefully so that generations through today would not be there. Which Mitzrayim would we be in today? Not the one that we were forced into, rather the one that our nation wanted to put themselves in. We were afraid of what freedom would look like.

Choosing Freedom

Freedom has a responsibility that comes with it. Now we need to start a new life, figure things out, and oversee our own destiny, as opposed to someone else running our lives. Slavery is the easy choice, it is what we know, rather than making the journey into the unknown. The real slavery that Hashem saved us from, was the second one, the one we wanted to inflict on ourselves when we wanted to go back to Mitzrayim. Hashem said “ I won’t allow you to be slaves, I will save you from that slavery.”

I understand the difficulty of choosing freedom. The choices that we make daily to choose freedom weigh heavily on us for various reasons. When stories are brought

to my attention of the excruciating circumstances that people are in, I ask them the most difficult question, “What about your life can you choose freedom for?” Not every part of the story can change, but what part can? What part of the enslaved, the crushed, the bitter taste, can be turned on its head and spun into a new direction?

Freedom comes in many forms. When interviewed of her time in captivity, one of the hostages that were released stated “I just kept thinking, ok today I am still alive.” That is choosing freedom, under what I would believe has to be the worst circumstance. What pieces of your life can you pick and say “Ok at least I have this.” Once freedom is the choice, layers of slavery start to peel off. It takes a lot of guts to reach out to someone and share the most vulnerable pieces of your life, that alone tells me you have it in you. You just need to want to choose the freedom from the pain you are experiencing.

Why does the Hagada state the several types who are obligated to read the story of Mitzrayim? Because no matter who we are or what we know or what we learned, the story needs to be told, every year to everyone. The survivors of the Nova festival, residents of the destroyed Kibbutzim, and the families of the hostages no doubt do not want to sit and talk

about slavery, no more than survivors of Auschwitz. Yet they do and they will, because it’s our story of yesterday and a reminder of how tomorrow should be. The story of Mitzryaim and how Hashem took us out reminds us of two things: One, no matter what Hashem will always be there to save us from an Egypt of any form. Two, He will always be there to stretch His arm out to save us from ourselves, and point us to the glory of what the decision of freedom truly is.

Chag Kasher Vesamach

Adina Gres

Adina (Dini) Gres is a wife, mother of 4 adult daughters, business owner, writer, speaker, and certified life coach. Through her role as owner of Financial Concierge LLC and coach for personal and financial clients, Adina recognizes that trying to get ahead without managing a healthy mentality is the primary reason blocking individuals from success. When working with her clients, Dini helps them understand how they themselves can change the narrative of their lives. You can hear more from Adina by listening to her podcast titled “Things I think you should know.” Adina also shares on her Instagram page @ financialconcierge.

Planning for a Miracle Miracle in the Minutiae

There’s a saying, when someone is trying to do more than they can realistically handle, that they are burning the candle at both ends. I was in that situation several years ago. I was commuting to school 50 miles each way. I was working in my Dad’s office every day. Then there were errands, and workouts, and socializing. Plus I was trying to be a writer. School required hours of reading — which I could have easily done had I not been in the car for an average of 10 hours per week. And I had just started keeping Shabbat, so that was another 25 hours unavailable.

At some point I became totally overwhelmed and broke down in tears. My Dad, ever the problem solver, sat down with me to figure out how to manage everything. He suggested that I do my reading on Shabbos. Reading is allowed, after all. I didn’t want to do that. Technically reading is allowed —- but it’s not supposed to be school or work related. The true spirit of Shabbat is menuchas hanefesh, a rest for the spirit. This is one reason people don’t discuss business deals or plan work related projects. There’s a very deep element of mindfulness in being able to say to oneself “Ok, I’m going to focus on that later.” It takes tremendous discipline. It absolutely cultivates a capacity for calm and equanimity. But from a logistical standpoint, it’s a potential disaster.

As my Dad pointed out, there are a limited number of hours in the

day. And a limited number of days in the week. Eliminating 1/7 by observing Shabbat gave me about 15% less time to start with. Add to that my driving schedule and I was basically cramming seven days of living into maybe five days. When it became clear that Shabbos was non-negotiable for me, he looked at me in stunned disbelief and said “What you’re doing is planning for a

miracle.” I hadn’t thought about it quite that way. I was sure though that Hashem wouldn’t leave me in the lurch.

That year, I qualified for two academic achievement societies, I won honorable mention in a major poetry contest, and my name was published in the National Dean’s List. I also solidified a friendship with someone who is to this day

one of my closest dearest confidantes. From then on, my Dad would tell anyone who would listen, “You know, she’s Shomer Shabbos.”

Denise Berger is a freelance writer who grew up in the LA community. Her work has appeared in Table For Five, Shalom Delaware, Detroit Jewish News, and The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles, in addition to literary publications. Denise can be reached at deniseberger2@gmail.com.

By Chef Nir

Deep Fried Breaded Chicken Cutlets with Matzah Meal

Take this beloved classic to new heights of deliciousness. The crunchy, golden exterior gives way to succulently moist chicken that's sure to have everyone asking for seconds.

Enjoy the familiar avors with a twist of southern charm.

INGREDIENTS:

• 8 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

• 3 eggs beaten

• 1 cup potato starch

• 2 cups matzo meal

• 1 tsp onion powder

• 1 tsp garlic powder

• 1 tsp kosher salt

• ½ tsp black pepper

• ½ tsp dry thyme

• oil to fry

Serves 8

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Make sure chicken cutlets are not too thick.

• Fill a large skillet to 1/3 with oil and preheat to 375 degrees F.

• Season the matzo meal with onion powder, garlic powder, kosher salt, black pepper and thyme.

• Dredge the cutlets in the potato starch, shake o the extra starch, dip in the egg, and then dip in the seasoned matzo meal.

• Place in oil and fry for 8-10 minutes, turning cutlets half way through.

• When done, drain on the tray with a paper towel.

Flourless Chocolate Cake

This ourless chocolate cake is guaranteed to become your new family favorite. Have it with co ee in the morning, serve it at the end of your meals, and delight your visitors with a slice of deliciousness. No judgment if you nd yourself nibbling on it in between too…

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted bu er, plus more for greasing

• 1 cup of high-quality semisweet or bi ersweet chocolate chips (or chopped chocolate)

• 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

• 1 1/4 cups granulated sugar

• 1/2 teaspoon salt

• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

• 6 large eggs

INSTRUCTIONS:

• Preheat Oven and Prepare Pan: Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease an 8-inch round cake pan with bu er, then line the bo om with parchment paper and grease the paper.

• Melt Chocolate and Bu er: Combine the chocolate chips and bu er in a medium saucepan over low heat, stirring constantly until melted and smooth. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly.

• Combine Dry Ingredients: In a small bowl, whisk together the cocoa powder, sugar, and salt.

• Add Dry Ingredients to Chocolate Mixture: Gradually whisk the dry ingredients into the melted chocolate mixture until well combined. Stir in the vanilla extract.

• Add Eggs: Beat in the eggs, one at a time, making sure each is fully incorporated before adding the next. The mixture should be smooth and glossy.

• Bake: Pour the ba er into the prepared pan and smooth the top with a spatula. Bake for 35-40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out with moist crumbs a ached. The center should be set but still slightly jiggly.

• Cool and Serve: Allow the cake to cool in the pan on a wire rack for about 10 minutes. Then, run a knife around the edge of the pan to loosen the cake, invert it onto the rack, and remove the parchment paper. Flip it back onto a serving plate to serve it right side up.

• Dust with powdered sugar or top with fresh berries and whipped cream for an extra special touch

The FOR YOU

UNIVERSITY

Jewish students are under attack. At Touro, you’re home—a place where your values are celebrated.

We are proud of our Jewish heritage—it is the foundation upon which our university was created. It is where you’ll always be safe and a cherished member of the academic community. Where your professional goals will be nurtured in a supportive environment dedicated to your success.