2 minute read
How Badly Do You Need Therapy?
how badly do you need therapy based on your how badly do you need therapy based on your go-to cry music? go-to cry music?
These are some tough times. Exams are fast approaching, you’re having a bit of an existential breakdown. But what does your go-to depression music say about how bad you need to get help? Well, as a self-proclaimed ‘person who listens to a lot of music’, I drew up a guideline for you. *Warning: Mad Satire Ahead*
Lana Del Rey
You either actually have daddy issues or 2014 Tumblr has groomed you into romanticizing sleeping with old married men, smoking skinny cigarettes and unironically taking cry-selfies. Either way, get some help bestie! You’re a victim!
Radiohead
If your go-to is Radiohead, this is your sign to get a mental health care plan. You’re probably either a ‘thick rimmed glasses poli-sci neckbeard’ or have a superiority complex because you think your music taste is unique. It’s not, and you need therapy.
frank ocean
Painting your nails black and skating alone in the dark is your self-care. Your parents did everything to ensure you grow up comfortably, but you refuse to converse with them during dinner. You don’t need therapy, just grow up, king.
joy division
Get help please. We both know that you haven’t felt physical touch since the cashier at the record store accidentally touched your hand when they gave you your receipt. And that was 5 months ago because you never leave your room.
how badly do you need therapy based on your how badly do you need therapy based on your go-to cry music? go-to cry music? words by: jenny jung
sun kil moon
If you listen/cry to Sun Kil Moon, DM me <3 Also, you should probably go to rehab.
phoebe bridgers
You’re probably crying because your parents won’t let you go to Splendor this year, or you’re recovering from a bad breakup. Either way, nothing a Shein haul can’t fix right?
American football
You’re really cool and I want to be your friend. But you’re also really sad and you need to put that beanie and flannel shirt on and walk your way to a therapist.
Elliott smith
You are not okay! I have not met a single Elliott Smith listener who isn’t spending their nights getting body warmth from a plushie while they sadly eat yoghurt alone in bed, watching comfort movies. I am also an Elliott Smith listener. Help me.
coldplay
You don’t need therapy, you need to be psycho-analysed.
In all seriousness, I know how rough it is to feel like you have no one to talk to, or to feel hopeless. Your feelings are valid, and there are professionals even just here on campus who want to help you! Try these services:
Uni Counselling: counselling.centre@adelaide.edu.au Mental Health Triage: 131465
