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UNL adds varsity four square and tetherball
ADAM MORTENSEN STAFF WRITER
Sports at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln are about to get even more exciting. For all students tired of boring and unpopular sports like football and basketball, there is excellent news. UNL will be adding varsity sports teams for both tetherball and four square. Disappointment after recent seasons of football and basketball has finally convinced the administration it is time for a change. Students like senior marketing major Sawyer Dettlaff have been calling for this change for ages. “Nobody even likes football,” said Sawyer. “people want real action sports. Sports like tetherball.” The DailyER decided to investigate these claims of more exciting sports, and it would appear that football and basketball fans have been missing out. The thrill of a solid swing at the tetherball or a cold-hearted cherry bomb in four-square is just unparalleled in the current array of varsity sports at this university. When he was asked about the changes, Athletic Director Bill Moos had this to say: “The University of Nebraska-Lincoln is this great state’s flagship university, and therefore deserves flagship sports. Games like tetherball and four-square are the competitions of the future. There is already a huge fan base.” This belief seems to have some solid support as youth all around the country play these games each day at school. This plan also has an added benefit. Memorial Stadium will be converted to house four-square courts and tetherball poles, and UNL will now have the prestigious honor of housing the world’s largest recess sports stadium.
best mixed drinks to make on campus 1. Kool-Aid
1/2 cups Kool-Aid powder 1-1/2 cups cold water 1. Mix Kool-Aid powder in with cold water 2. Stir until powder dissolves 3. Garnish with grapefruit wedge
2. Hot chocolate
3 tbsp Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate Mix 8 oz hot water Milk (optional) Marshmallows (not optional, unless you’re a loser) 1. Pour Swiss Miss mix into cup 2. Slowly pour in hot water and stir 3. Add milk for taste 4. Add marshmallows because who doesn’t love marshmallows?
3. strawberry smootHie 1 cup frozen strawberries 1 cup milk 1/4 cup sugar 1 banana 8-10 ice cubes
1. Put all these ingredients in a blender 2. Oh, you don’t have a blender? Well, that’s too bad 3. Just ingest all the ingredients at one time and hope it tastes good?
4. Pepsi (on the rocks)
1 can/bottle of Pepsi Ice cubes (optional) Ice Cube (rapper, also optional)
1. Pour can/ bottle of Pepsi into glass 2. Add ice cubes, if that’s your thing 3. Turn on some Ice Cube, if that is also your thing
5. Lemonade 1-1/2 cups lemon juice
8 cups water 1-3/4 cups white sugar 1. Pour lemon juice into pitcher with water 2. Snort entire 1-3/4 cups sugar 3. Chug lemon juice/water pitcher 4. Immediately regret the decisions you just made
6. Salt water 1/2 oz salt 1 cup water
1. Mix salt with water 2. Chug entire drink 3. Why did you just drink an entire cup of salt water, what is wrong with you?
7. grande, iced, sugarfree, vanilla latte with soy milk 1 cup vanilla 1 cup soy milk? ???? Uh?
CHRIS GOERING A/V COORDINATOR
1. Just go to the Union Starbucks 2. You don’t have a blender anyways, just shell out $5 for this drink
8. 11th HOur
1 oz Everclear 1 oz Absinthe 1 oz Bacardi 151 1 oz Jagermeister 1 oz Tequila 1 oz Vodka 1 oz Gin 1 oz Rum 1 oz Whiskey 1 oz Goldschlager 1 oz Hennessy
1. Somehow get enough money to buy all this alcohol 2. Somehow sneak 11 bottles of alcohol into your dorm room 3. Mix these all together and drink 4. Proceed to throw up all over floor or bathroom shower