▶How will New York’s estate tax cliff affect your family?
▶Will your family be subject to a 40% tax on their inheritance?
▶Are you protected from lawsuits, creditors, and financial predators?
▶How you may be able to qualify for Medicaid to pay for long term care expenses which can be over $18,000 per month locally
▶What are the 7 Costly Mistakes families make in their estate plans and how can you avoid them?
▶PROBATE: What is it? Why does everyone want to avoid it?
▶How can you ensure that your children don’t waste or lose their inheritance?
▶If you die first and your spouse remarries, will your children inherit?
▶How can you leave money to financially irresponsible children?
▶How can you protect a special needs beneficiary without jeopardizing their benefits
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INBOX
IN THE PICTURE
(Re: Worth a Thousand Words, Issue 306)
Your article on drawing analysis was fascinating! My daughter and I read it together and had a good time with it. I wish this could be a weekly column. I asked my daughter to draw the three pictures (a house, a tree and a person), and I noticed that she drew each picture close to the top of the page. What does that mean? Also, while her tree and house were simple drawings, for the person she drew only the person’s head. It was an extremely detailed drawing and very well done. Does that mean anything?
Perri T.
FAIGY FLIEGMAN RESPONDS:
Thank you for your feedback! Of course, I’d need to see the full picture and know the artist’s age to answer properly, but I’ll try my best.
Any drawing placed on the upper part of the page could show a few things. It could point to someone’s great imagination, and describe someone who isn’t too grounded. It could also point to an artist who is very smart, or someone who’s more secluded and introverted.
Regarding the picture of the person, this depends on the age of the child, but from age four and up, a child generally includes the body when drawing a person. When a child above age five only draws the head, it may sometimes indicate a physical problem or a low self-image. A well-drawn, distinct and clear face, however, shows that the person is doing well socially and knows how to develop relationships with others. Usually this is seen by girls at or above age six (and boys at or above age seven or eight).
Faigy Fliegman can be reached at 845-499-9334.
THIS ONE IS MINE
(Re: Mine, Issue 306)
The diary serial titled Mine is brand-new and already my favorite serial. Thank you so much for printing it, and thank you to the writer who is sharing herself in such a deep and frank way. I know you have a lot of fiction lovers, but I feel that diary serials like this one are so much more meaningful, as there’s a real person and real feelings behind it.
The writer’s experiences are so touching, and even though I’m aware that everyone in this situation feels differently and reacts differently, it’s eye-opening to see the experience through her eyes. Everyone has that one column that they turn to as soon as they open the magazine. Well, this one is Mine.
THE VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE
(Re: In Session, Issue 305)
Dear Therapist,
Thank you for publishing the question about the Sukkos family get-together, as well as your insightful answer.
I’m writing to share the perspective from the other side of the equation — the parent of a large family at varying ages and stages, who would like to enjoy having the family get together occasionally.
While most of my children are aware of the Torah’s expectations for hilchos kibbud av v’eim, some of them are not. Every family gathering leaves me in tears of helplessness and frustration as I observe all the dysfunctional attitudes you described: “If something is uncomfortable for me, I’m out.” “My mental health comes first” (and literally everything seems to threaten their mental health). Also, the idea that it’s acceptable to simply cut family members out of your life.
How I wish my children would take your advice to see the “shades of gray” and “have a gentle conversation” with their parents!
The contemporary prevailing attitude ascribes to the “freedom” of disrespecting your parents, and it’s all backed by therapists. My children state with confidence that their therapist told them that their parents were wrong and that however they decide to behave is okay.
These (adult) children need mussar. Who will give it to them? Who will warn them that causing pain to their parents means they are playing with fire?
Name Withheld
YOUR SAY
WORDS MATTER
For all business owners, graphic designers, marketers, influencers and shoppers, I want to bring to your attention common advertising terminology that you may not realize is disturbing to many in our community. A few years ago, the frum community picked up the term “AW” to refer to the autumn-winter season (in terms of clothing shopping). The corresponding spring and summer season is referred to as “SS.”
I realize these terms are in wider use in the worldwide clothing industry, but in our community, established mainly by Holocaust survivors, the term “SS” has a very different meaning. It’s disturbing to turn the pages of a frum magazine designed for our community and encounter this term again and again.
I realize that advertisers perceive this term as a chic and up-to-date way of referring to their spring and summer line. But we need to be sensitive to our history and
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realize that for us, this term represents the monstrous Nazi SS. My contemporaries, children of Holocaust survivors, share my view. Although the younger generation may not have the same associations to this term, it’s important to exhibit respect and sensitivity to the devastation experienced by our nation.
A Second-Generation Survivor
SUGAR HIGH
It’s now after Yom Tov, and I have finally confiscated the candy. You know which candy I mean — the candy my kids got in shul on Simchas Torah. Mind you, a lot of it has already been consumed, but even just the amount that remained is outrageous.
SPEECH & VOICE THERAPY
• Voice disorders
Chronic Hoarseness • Pre/Post Vocal Cord Surgery
Articulation • Hypernasality
Stuttering • Unclear speech
Etc...
We have an entire year to figure out a solution to this junk craze. As for some ideas, I have heard of shuls that give out pekelach instead of all this candy, or distribute small prizes instead. Let’s change things up.
Thank you!
WHO RUNS THE ELECTIONS
A Yiddishe Mama
As we get closer to the elections, I want to remind everyone Who really runs the show. Of course, everyone should absolutely go out to vote, but don’t forget to say Tehillim and daven to Hashem for the best possible outcome.
WHAT’S YOUR TAKE ON SURPRISE GUESTS? HAVE YOU EVER HAD
ONE?
Yes. I love surprise guests!
I prefer a little heads-up, but strangely, it’s often easier when things are slightly more last-minute than when they’re planned way ahead. Once, when I was living in Eretz Yisroel, my visiting niece and her grandmother got locked out of their rental apartment and ended up in my spare bedroom at the last minute for Shabbos. My two sisters, who were visiting and supposed to sleep in that room, slept on the floor in the (thankfully big!) dining room. We had a beautiful Shabbos!
I never have surprise guests, and honestly, I don’t think I would handle it. I don’t cook more than my family needs, so scraping together food for my guest would be stressful.
I don’t appreciate surprise guests. I like to make sure my house is in top order when guests come, and no, my house is not always in perfect shape.
If my house is presentable and clean, then great — bring the guests on. If not, I let my surprise guest feel good that they’re so much more organized than I am!
I go with the flow when surprise guests show up at Shabbos meals. I usually have enough food; otherwise, I work it out. For instance, I’ll cut up the fish into smaller pieces and put them on a bed of lettuce so we can have enough to go around. I even once served apple juice instead of chicken soup to my own children, because I simply didn’t have enough soup to go around that week. We laugh about it to this day. I would prefer to know in advance, but life happens.
We love having surprise guests over. I always have a ton of frozen dough in my freezer, and whenever guests appear at the door, I have fresh cookies or even rugelach ready within minutes. I also have a stock of cooked meats in the freezer so that I can offer my surprise guests a good dinner in no time. Additionally, we try to have a spare room or two ready for guests at all times.
Surprise guests? Not something I do to others. But if someone else does it to me, then, as a child of Avraham Avinu, I try to remember that hosting is a tremendous mitzvah, and I grin and bear it. When I was young and my house was always in perfect shape, I loved it when friends and family surprised me with a visit. Hopefully, when my little ones are all married and out of the house, I’ll be thrilled with every einikel who pops in. Now, at this stage in life, PLEASE DON’T walk in without prior notice.
I don’t like surprises in general, especially not surprise visitors.
I don’t like surprise guests, unless it’s unavoidable. Otherwise, I want clean linen on the beds and enough fish in the pot.
Here and there, I’m thrilled to get notice on Friday afternoon that we’ll be having guests on Shabbos. And if the guest room is in decent shape, Shabbos guests are more than welcome to stay with us. Eating-only guests are always welcome to drop in — we’re more than thrilled.
I’m easy with last-minute guests, but don’t appreciate surprises. That’s not only with guests; I prefer to know what’s coming my way.
We love guests. I usually make sure to cook generously, so if a surprise guest arrives, we manage. It doesn’t happen super often, but we’re always ready! Guests: Just be advised that if you’re surprising me at home, you’re welcome to pitch in. This is a household of healthy children, baruch Hashem
My surprise guests are usually several men knocking on my door to collect tzedakah for their yeshiva or kollel. They often want to come in and sit down with my husband in the dining room. I wish they would call my husband to schedule a time to meet, instead of just showing up, especially after 9:30 p.m.
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PARSHAS LECH LECHA
Spilling Over
Y. Levenstein
The Midrash describes that Avraham Avinu — known at the time as Avram Ha’Ivri — stood alone on one side of the world while all of civilization stood on the other side. (The term “ivri” is from the root “ever” — side.)
Avraham was unique in his strong belief in Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and he was alone in his goal to spread His name throughout the world. The rest of the world was united in their service of idolatry, but that did not deter Avraham from preaching in the large cities, bringing proofs from creation that Hashem created the world and continues to run it. He debated skeptics and even broke idols. One might think that these conditions would not make him all that popular, but Avraham was tremendously successful ( Bereishis Rabbah 42:8).
Why did Avraham Avinu merit having such a great impact on his generation? What was the secret to his success?
RAV MOSHE STERNBUCH, SHLIT”A, once traveled by boat from Eretz Yisroel to Italy. Rav Dovid Moshe of Kretchnev, zt”l, was on the ship too, and the Rebbe told Rav Moshe that he heard that a world-famous professor was due to speak that evening in the lobby. His topic would be the dangers of smoking. The Rebbe said it was worth attending the lecture for the sake of v’nishmartem me’od l’nafshoseichem
The professor began to speak. He described the negative side-effects of smoking and the impact it has on overall health. He shared statistics and an-
nounced, “Smoking is proven to shorten one’s lifespan!”
Several hours later, Rav Moshe was walking along the deck and saw the professor from afar. Then he came closer and looked again. He couldn’t believe his eyes! The professor was holding a cigarette to his mouth!
Rav Moshe could not contain himself and walked over. “How can you smoke?” he demanded. “You explained in such a clear and certain way that smoking is dangerous!”
“I don’t understand your argument,” the professor replied. “Did I say that one is not allowed to smoke? No. I just enlightened the public to the dangers. Does that obligate me to quit smoking?” He lowered his voice and admitted, “Personally, I’d rather give up ten years of my life and continue to smoke. Without it, I have no life…”
* * * * *
Rav Eliyahu Dessler, zt”l, had an interesting practice. Before giving a shmuess, he always reviewed it with his wife. His wife, a descendant of Rav Yisroel Salanter and the Vilna Gaon and a rebbetzin in her own right, always offered her critique. She had a sharp mind and vast knowledge, and often had wise ways of
“Did I say that one is not allowed to smoke? No. I just enlightened the public to the dangers”
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“Who am I to say mussar to bochurim who learn all day? I must improve myself and work on living the things I say
honing and refining Rav Dessler’s message.
Once, Rav Dessler told an entire shmuess to his wife. When he was done, she turned to him and asked, “Are you sure you’re already on this level?”
Rav Dessler stopped to think for a moment, and had to agree. He immediately scratched the shmuess and began to prepare a new one.
Rav Dessler said of himself that he typically spent about twelve hours preparing a single shmuess for his talmidim But this time he abandoned the shmuess he had invested so much in. “Who am I to say mussar to bochurim who learn all day? I must improve myself and work on living the things I say, so I should be connected to my message and passionate about giving it over.”
* * * * *
The Dubno Maggid once asked the Vilna Gaon for the best way to be mashpia the public. The Gaon replied with a mashal. Picture a bottle of wine with many empty glasses around it. When you fill the bottle to the brim and continue to pour, the overflow will spill over on all sides, and the glasses surrounding the bottle will automatically become filled. Likewise, when one wants to influence yiras Shamayim and middos tovos on those around him, he must first fill himself with these values. Once he himself is all filled up, the overflow will automatically occur. At the same time, the Gaon cautioned, if one doesn’t fill himself first, it’s certain that his words will fall on deaf ears.
The first person to use this method was Avraham Avinu. Before presenting his emunah and proofs in the Creator to others, he filled himself to the brim. He spent entire days and nights contemplating Who created the world and continues to coordinate everything that happens. Only after spending years of instilling emunah deep within his own heart did he begin to share it with others. (Those were the years between ages three and 40 — two different versions in Chazal and Rishonim regarding when Avraham recognized Hashem.)
It’s no wonder, then, that Avraham Avinu was able to influence the masses to the point where he became known as av hamon goyim — the father of many nations. He worked on himself and purified his heart until he reached the pinnacle of emunah. Then his inner convictions automatically spilled over — directly into the hearts of his generation.
If we would like to share our values with others in a manner that allows it to actually have an effect, no long speech or mussar is necessary. We must simply work on ourselves, and through perfecting our own middos and values, will be able to have an influence on our children, students and those around us.
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SIMCHA WE CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE FELDER
For more than two decades, Councilmember Simcha Felder has been one of the most steadfast defenders of New York’s Jewish community, preferring results over headlines.
For those who didn’t witness Felder’s earliest fights in the City Council and State Senate, his presence might be easy to take for granted. But for anyone who has watched his work up close, Felder’s career represents a rare blend of principle and pragmatism — a kind of leadership that is fast disappearing from city politics in an era of slogans and soundbites.
Now, as the political climate grows increasingly polarized and far-left extremists armed with a radical agenda gain influence, Felder faces one of the toughest battles of his career.
The forces of chaos and dysfunction are uniting against him because they know Felder stands as a roadblock to their agenda. To them, he is too formidable an opponent. That’s why they’ve tried to keep him off the ballot. Nothing would please the Jew-haters more than to see Felder pushed out of the New York City Council.
For the Jewish community across the city — from Staten Island to Forest Hills, Boro Park to Williamsburg — Felder has become something larger than a district representative. He’s a symbol of political strength, moral clarity and the ability to stand firm when others waver.
SILENCING HIM MEANS SILENCING US.
This time, it’s no exaggeration to say that Felder’s record — and everything it represents for our community — is on the line.
A RECORD OF
RESULTS
Felder built his career on solving problems that matter to families in our community. He views government as a tool to serve the people who built this city from the ground up — not as a platform for political gain.
He’s not a bomb-thrower or an ideologue. He works across party lines when it benefits his constituents and stands firm when their rights are threatened. His influence isn’t measured by press releases or speeches but by policy changes that shape people’s daily lives. His efforts don’t always make front-page news, but they’ve changed lives in quiet, lasting ways.
If parents in Boro Park, Midwood and Flatbush can still send their children to the yeshiva of their choice — receiving the chinuch that reflects their values — it’s largely thanks to Felder’s work in Albany. The Felder Amendment, fought for against powerful lobbying interests, protected the independence of yeshivas and their curriculum. The measure became a lifeline for hundreds of schools and tens of thou-
sands of students across the state.
Parents in his district know another benefit they owe to his persistence: free door-to-door school bus transportation for yeshiva students. The program has become a model of equitable access and safety, sparing families the daily struggle of navigating city transit with small children.
He also led one of the most consequential expansions in family healthcare in decades, ensuring that fertility treatments are covered under both Medicaid and commercial insurance. This policy has helped thousands of couples who once faced enormous financial burdens in trying to build a family.
Public safety has always been central to Felder’s work. He secured tens of millions of dollars for security upgrades at Jewish schools and shuls at a time when antisemitic incidents across the city have reached record highs.
His “Felder Lighting” initiative brightened a once-dim stretch of McDonald Avenue between Ditmas Avenue and Kings Highway, improving visibility and reducing crime. He’s worked with the NYPD to strengthen neighborhood patrols, fund community safety groups, and ensure that streets are as safe at midnight as they are at noon. He brought significant grants to Chevra Hatzolah of Boro Park to keep emergency services strong and well-equipped.
Felder’s attention to practical, everyday problems has saved New Yorkers money as well. He fought until the city adopted the five-minute grace period for drivers. Now, drivers can’t be ticketed until five minutes after a meter expires or a rule takes effect.
He also fought back against unfair tax increases and helped end the practice of issuing city violations on Shabbos and Yom Tov, protecting observant families from being penalized for practicing their faith.
Felder used his background as a CPA and MBA — along with his years in the comptroller’s office — to secure expanded child-tax credits for working families. When local families struggle to pay bills or put food on the table, Felder has directed funds to chesed organizations that step in to help. He’s revitalized neighborhood parks and playgrounds, creating clean, secure spaces for children and seniors alike.
The long list of accomplishments isn’t a coincidence. It’s the product of a philosophy that politics should be personal. When a family calls his office, they get a response. When a school faces a crisis, he shows up.
FELDER THE FIGHTER
What sets Felder apart is not just his record but his approach to solving problems. Guided by the advice of our gedolim, Felder never stops pushing until he finds a path forward.
That persistence has earned him admiration. For his constituents, those very qualities make him indispensable. But they have met powerful enemies.
The YAFFED coalition, which has long sought to impose stricter state oversight on yeshivas, was infuriated when Felder’s amendment blocked its agenda. The teachers’ unions, frustrated by his school-bus program for private-school students, fought his funding efforts at every turn. And the insurance industry, once resistant to covering fertility treatments, bristled at his success in forcing their hand.
A CAMPAIGN WITH HIGH STAKES
Even his critics admit that Felder is a master negotiator. He knows how to get results — not by shouting from the sidelines but by working the system to deliver concrete outcomes.
Felder’s opponents see him as too effective, too deeply rooted in his community, and too willing to defy political orthodoxy.
This year’s city election is about far more than one council seat in one neighborhood — it’s about the direction of New York City itself and the future of our community. Farleft politicians have grown louder, more organized and increasingly hostile to the values and institutions that have kept our neighborhoods strong.
They have targeted yeshivas, pushed to cut police funding, and introduced social-policy mandates that clash with religious freedom. Many of these same activists and ad-
vocacy groups have made Simcha Felder a symbol of what they want to dismantle.
The forces of chaos and dysfunction will not stop until they see Felder out. Their attempt to keep him off the ballot
failed — but they haven’t given up. They are spending heavily, organizing aggressively and hoping that complacency in our neighborhoods will do what their petitions could not.
That’s why turnout matters more than ever.
Our schools and organizations have registered thousands of new voters, but it only counts if we actually show up to vote. In an ordinary election year, incumbency might be enough. But 2025 is not ordinary. On Tuesday, November 4, voter turnout will decide the future of our community’s voice in City Hall. Every ballot will matter like never before.
Whether by absentee ballot, early voting or in person on Election Day — we must vote. THE
MESSAGE COULD NOT BE CLEARER: WE CAN’T AFFORD TO LOSE SIMCHA FELDER. NOT NOW.
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Relatable photos of everyday items
• Explain why that one item doesn’t belong with the other three items on the card.
• Cards 1-20 show three items that belong to the same category and one item that belongs to a different category. For example, on card 1, the socks, shirt, and pants are all articles of clothing, and the pop-it is a toy.
Cards 21-48
Supports learners at all levels
or function. For example, on card 22, eyes, nose, hand, and mouth are all body parts, but ‘hand’ has a different subcategory because it isn’t on the face.
Cards 49-70
High-quality and durable cards 28
• Cards 21-48 feature items that belong to the same category, but one has a different subcategory
• Cards 49-70 feature three items with the same feature, (color, texture, shape), function, (makes items hot) and one item that has a different feature or function. For example, on card 59, the cracker, nickel and clock are all round, and the book doesn’t belong because it is rectangular.
Just weeks after slamming Andrew Cuomo as a liar and a snake, New York City Mayor Eric Adams threw his weight behind his former opponent, while former Assemblyman Dov Hikind also came out with a surprise endorsement for the former governor.
Adams joined Cuomo on the campaign trail, telling reporters, “This is the future of New York City at stake.” The mayor had sharp words for frontrunner Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani, categorizing him as a “snake oil salesman” whose policies will spell disaster for the five boroughs.
“You’re going to see more people leave New York,” said Adams. “You’re going to see less revenue for New York.”
The Adams endorsement came less than a day after Cuomo rushed out of the second mayoral debate to sit next to the mayor courtside at the New York Knicks’ opening game at Madison Square Garden. Cuomo performed well at the debate, throwing solid jabs at Mamdani and poking holes at his campaign promise to freeze rents in New York City.
“The mayor doesn’t have the power to do it,” said Cuomo. “The Rent Control Guidelines Board does, and he doesn’t control the Rent Control Guidelines Board, so nothing is going to happen. It’s just the old political blather, Mr. Mamdani.”
When Mamdani appealed to Jewish voters, saying that he would do his part to represent them fairly, Cuomo stuck in his two cents, derisively observing, “You are the savior of the Jewish people?” The former governor also said that Mamdani lacks the skills to run New York City, even if he excels at connecting with voters, suggesting that a career on the stage might have been a better choice for the Queens assemblyman.
“He’s a good actor,” noted Cuomo. “He missed his calling.”
Having supported Republican Curtis Sliwa’s campaign, Hikind flipping his endorsement on October 26 came as a surprise to most. The former assemblyman said that he believed that Cuomo stood a better chance of besting Mamdani.
“I have nothing but good things to say about Cur-
tis,” said Hikind. “But at the end of the day, it’s very clear that Curtis can’t win.”
Hikind called on New York City voters to wake up, with polls showing Mamdani with a commanding lead.
“Mamdani is a threat to the well-being of every New Yorker,” said Hikind. “He will destroy New York.”
Cuomo also picked up endorsements from the Flatbush Jewish Community Coalition and VIN News last week, which described him as the only viable challenger to Mamdani.
City Institutes New E-Bike Speed Limit
Things are going to be a lot slower for e-bike riders, with Mayor Eric Adams setting a 15 mph speed limit on the popular conveyances.
The new speed limit went into effect on October 24 in all five boroughs, and includes e-bike riders on city streets and on city parks’ many pathways.
Seventeen people were killed in e-bike crashes last year, while at least 638 more were injured. Adams initially proposed the lower speed limit in June, saying that it was in keeping with similar laws that are in effect in European countries.
“Lowering the speed limit will protect e-bike riders, pedes-
trians, and everyone who shares our streets,” said Adams. “As New Yorkers adjust to this new law, our focus will be on education first and enforcement second — this includes installing new signage in key cycling corridors and issuing warnings to first-time offenders. To be clear, this isn’t about criminalization; it’s about creating safer, fairer conditions for all New Yorkers.”
According to the New York Post, which used a radar gun to clock e-bike riders, many are traveling at speeds that top the 15 mph limit. Some were zooming along at speeds that topped 20 mph, in addition to weaving dangerously between pedestrians and riders.
It is unclear how violations would be measured and even how they would affect riders, which aren’t required to register their e-bikes with the city.
“These riders have been ignoring traffic laws for years,” noted City Councilman Bob Holden. “Without license plates and real enforcement, the danger will only grow.”
At least one e-bike rider agreed with Holden’s assessment saying, “I don’t know how you’re going to enforce that. We’re in New York — people do what they want.”
That fact was made painfully clear on the Hudson River Greenway, a state pathway where e-bikes are officially banned, but are present anyway. The Post clocked one e-biker at 23 mph.
While some have noted that delivery people on e-bikes utilize higher speeds to boost their earnings, at least one rider felt that the blame was misplaced, and that pedestrians are at fault.
“They’re always head down on their phones, distracted,” said one biker. “They step out onto the street without even looking.”
But another praised the new speed limit, saying he felt it was justified.
“Any faster, and it’s really hard to react to potholes, pedestrians [and] cars,” said the rider.
New Red Light Cameras Spotted in BP
Drivers who fail to heed the posted speed limits on certain streets may find themselves facing tickets, with several new red light cameras spotted in Boro Park in recent days.
Workers were observed installing the cameras on New Utrecht Avenue and 45th Street, 14th Avenue and 60th Street, 17th Avenue and 59th Street, and 21st Avenue at 65th Street.
Early Introduction Has Peanut Allergies Plummeting, Says
Study
Peanut allergies have dropped a whopping 43% in households that introduced peanuts into their babies’ diets at surprisingly young ages.
Doctors had long advised not giving children peanuts until they were at least three years old, but those guidelines were revised many years ago, reported ABC News. In 2015, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended introducing common allergens to infants between four and six months of age to prevent possible allergies. Two years later, the recommendation was revised to include all infants, although those with a family history of allergic reactions or eczema are urged to consult with their doctors before giving their baby peanut products.
A study published by the journal Pediatrics surveyed health data for 40,000 children and reported the significant drop in peanut allergies since the 2017 recommendations were made.
The best way to introduce babies to peanuts? While some doctors recommend thinning a small amount of peanut butter with water, a 1010 News report recommended using small bits of Bamba, which melt easily in an infant’s mouth and require no chewing. The low prevalence of peanut allergies in Israel, where babies consume Bamba at a young age, is well known, and it prompted a pediatric allergist to launch a study to understand that phenomenon in 2000, which ultimately sparked the current recommendations.
Allergist and pediatrician Dr. Inderpal Randhawa told Parents magazine that the evidence has shown what has long been suspected — that training the immune system to accept certain proteins can sidestep an allergic response, although the allergen in question should be offered several times a week to preserve immunity.
“The immune system is teachable,” said Dr. Randhawa. “If you present food antigens early, consistently and safely, the immune system learns tolerance instead of launching a defensive allergic response.”
Parents whose children experience hives, vomiting, facial swelling, or difficulty breathing after consuming peanut products are advised to call Hatzolah or 911, or to take their child to the emergency room immediately.
While early introduction may ward off peanut allergies, introducing babies to eggs at an early age did not produce the same results. With peanut allergies on the decline, egg allergies are now the most common childhood allergy.
Maimonides’ Expanded Pediatric Emergency Department Opens
While city officials have said that they planned to put up more cameras to deter speeders, these particular devices caught some area residents by surprise. It is unclear if additional cameras are slated to be installed at Boro Park intersections in the future.
The mood was festive at Maimonides Health Center on October 21, as the long-awaited expansion of the children’s emergency department was finally completed, elevating the standard of care for the hospital’s youngest patients.
The largest freestanding stand-alone emergency department for children, and the only dedicated pediatric trauma center in Brooklyn, the child-friendly unit is quadruple the size of the previous kids care facility and boasts nearly three dozen patient rooms. All feature the latest technology, and the de-
Shabbos
Candle Lighting Starts Here
7:045:38
partment, which is open 24/7, 365 days a year, has a special Shabbos exit door that utilizes no electronics. On-site X-ray and ultrasound machines will provide patients with rapid access to crucial services, and the new children’s emergency department also connects directly to an expanded neonatal intensive care unit.
“The expanded children’s emergency department enables us to deliver world-class, compassionate care close to home, ensuring that every child receives the specialized attention they deserve in their moment of need. Brooklyn families should never have to leave their home borough to access the care they need,” said Maimonides president and CEO Ken Gibbs.
There was also more good news last week for Maimonides, which was chosen by Governor Kathy Hochul as one of six partner health facilities that will share in $2.6 billion in capital and oper-
ating dollars.
According to Hochul, the infusion of resources will improve the quality of care at safety net hospitals, giving even more New Yorkers access to affordable, high-quality health care.
“The strength of our hospitals is a reflection of the strength of our communities, and safety net hospitals play a critical role in providing quality health care to vulnerable populations,” said the governor.
Under its partnership with NYC Health + Hospitals, Maimonides Medical Center will be able to better serve Brooklynites with a sophisticated new electronic health record system that will improve patient experience as well as care coordination.
Hochul had previously announced similar partnerships at eight other hospitals throughout the state. Senate Majority Leader Andrea Stewart-Cousins
praised the recent proliferation of partnerships for improving healthcare outcomes for millions of New Yorkers.
Responding to Numerous Blowouts, Repaving Underway at Harlem River–GWB Ramp
Repaving and milling are currently ongoing on the elevated roadway that links Harlem River Drive with the George Washington Bridge.
The Trans-Manhattan Expressway, as the angled stretch of highway is commonly known, has multiple potholes which have blown out many a tire, leaving unsuspecting drivers frustrated and inconvenienced. Chaverim of Brooklyn members who have been called to the area on many occasions, particularly on rainy days when the potholes can be difficult to see, have been pushing for the area to be repaved.
Paving on the southbound lanes began on October 27 and is scheduled to run through October 31, with the northbound lanes addressed from November 3 to November 7. During those times, both lanes will be closed to all traffic from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m.
Chaverim credited Assemblyman Simcha Eichenstein, Department of Transportation Director of Public Engagement Pinny Ringel, and New York City Emergency Management Department Assistant Commissioner for External Affairs and Strategic Partnerships Ira Tenenbaum for their efforts, which brought this project to fruition.
James Pleads Not Guilty on Mortgage Fraud Indictment
Two weeks after being indicted on bank fraud and making false statements to a financial institution, New York Attorney General Letitia James appeared in a Virginia courtroom and pled her innocence in federal court.
James was released on her own recognizance, reported NBC News. She is due back in court for her trial on January 26, which is estimated to take approximately five days.
Lawyers for James have said that the case should be thrown out, categorizing it as selective and vindictive prosecution. President Donald Trump, who had been previously sued by James, had urged United States Attorney General Pam Bondi to investigate James.
“This is not about me,” James told supporters as she left the courthouse. “This is about all of us, and a justice system which has been weaponized… [and] used as a tool of revenge.”
James is one of three presidential adversaries who have been brought up on federal criminal charges in recent weeks. Both James Comey, the former director of the FBI, and John Bolton, the former national security advisor, were indicted by Lindsay Halligan, who was sworn in as acting U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Virginia last month. Halligan, who had no former prosecutorial experience, also signed James’ indictment.
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Dear Therapist,
Three years ago, my son married a wonderful girl from a wonderful family. Before the shidduch, we heard only praise — that she’s a leader, confident, warm and respectful. Baruch Hashem, we see all those qualities. She sends pictures and messages and is always polite.
What bothers me is that my son and daughter-in-law rarely spend time with us. Even when they’re nearby for Shabbos, they end up spending most of their time at her parents’ home (they live in the same area as we do). I’m happy she’s close to her family, but I feel like we haven’t built our own connection.
I’m grateful that my son is happily married, but I wish I had more of a relationship with his new wife. What can I do?
— A Mother Who Wants Connection
Dear Mother,
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt letter. It’s clear from your words that you are a loving, thoughtful parent who is deeply grateful for your blessings, even as you’re longing for a closer connection with your son and daughter-in-law. These two emotions — gratitude and longing — can sit side by side, and many mothers-in-law quietly struggle with the same tension you describe. Your letter gives voice to something many feel but hesitate to say.
Let’s explore your situation step by step and consider some perspectives that may help guide you toward building a stronger bond with your daughter-in-law.
1. Communication and assumptions
One of the most common challenges in family dynamics is that each side assumes they are doing the other a favor, without realizing that their assumption may be creating distance instead of closeness.
For example, your daughter-in-law might think that your home is busy with other children or grandchildren, and that she would be “bothering” you by spending more time there. She may believe she is respecting your space. Or she might think that your daughters — her sistersin-law — are naturally closer to you, and that you would prefer spending your extra time with them. In her mind, she may be stepping aside
out of consideration, or thinking that it isn’t her place to be more a part of things.
Another possibility comes from family upbringing. In some families, daughters naturally spend much of their time in their mother’s home, while the husband’s family is visited less. Your daughter-in-law may simply be following the pattern she grew up with. It may not be a rejection of you, but rather what feels normal and familiar to her.
What helps most in such cases is clarity. A simple, warm statement such as, “I love when you come for Shabbos — it means so much to me,” can clear up unspoken assumptions. In some families, the mother-inlaw will say, “We’re always happy to have you for Shabbos, just call me by Wednesday.” But some daughters-inlaw may need a full, explicit invitation each time to feel welcome. They may not assume that “always open” applies to them. This gentle clarification can make a big difference.
2. Speak to your son first
When navigating in-law relationships, it’s usually most effective to begin the conversation with your own child. Sit down with your son in a calm and positive moment and share openly: “I really enjoy when you and your wife come over, and I would love it if we could have more time together. I would love it if you’d spend time at our house when you come to us for Shabbos. Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?”
By framing it in this way, you show that you’re not demanding or criticizing; you’re inviting. You’re expressing your desire while also giving him the chance to share any obstacles that may be making visiting difficult. This keeps the conversation constructive rather than defensive.
3. Reflect on your nature and style
Another factor to consider is personality style. Some mothers-in-law naturally have a strong presence. They speak directly, say what is on their minds, and don’t hesitate to express their opinions. This can be a
tremendous strength in life; it creates clarity, honesty and leadership. But like any strength, this can also be a disadvantage.
A daughter-in-law, especially a new one, may feel intimidated by strong comments — even small ones — about clothing, housekeeping, parenting styles, career choices or even the way she speaks to her husband. What feels to you like a passing comment or lighthearted advice may land for her as criticism or judgment. And because of the natural difference in age and the mitzvah of kibbud av v’eim, she will likely not feel comfortable speaking up or answering back. Instead, she may simply retreat, quietly pulling back her presence from your home.
This doesn’t mean you have done something “wrong.” It means that sometimes the way our words land is different from how we intend. If your son ever does share with you that his wife has felt hurt, the most effective response is not to defend yourself, but to ask, “Can you tell me how she felt? What did I do that came across hurtful?” If there is truth to it, acknowledge it gently: “I didn’t realize that could hurt her. I’ll try to be more careful.” This humility and openness will go a long way in building connections.
4. Including daughtersin-law in conversations
Another important piece is to consciously include your daughter-in-law in family conversations. Daughters and mothers often have a lifetime of shared language, private jokes and natural closeness, but a new daughter-in-law is still learning her place in the family circle. Even two or three years into marriage, she may benefit from warm, deliberate gestures: inviting her into the conversation, asking for her opinion, seating her near you at the Shabbos table, or asking her to help with something meaningful rather than just routine chores. These small signals tell her, you belong here too
When a daughter-in-law feels genuinely welcomed, rather than just tolerated, her desire to come more often usually grows naturally.
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5. Relationships take time to develop
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Sometimes we think of connection as an all-or-nothing proposition: Either we have the same level of closeness as the other side of the family, or we feel rejected. In reality, closeness often grows in layers and at its own pace. Your daughter-in-law may always feel a stronger pull toward her parents; that’s natural. But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a deep, meaningful connection of your own, one that will look different but still be precious.
Every family has its unique rhythm. Some young couples split Shabbosos evenly, and others gravitate more toward one side. Some change the pattern as children are born and life circumstances shift. Recognizing this ebb and flow allows you to see progress in shades of gray, not only black and white.
6. A practical path forward
Express appreciation for your daughter-in-law’s positive qualities (which you already do so beautifully).
Invite her and your son more directly and warmly, even explicitly each time.
Have a private, calm conversation with your son about your desire for more connection and how you can make it easier for them.
If concerns about her feeling uncomfortable ever come up, listen first and avoid self-
For daughters-in-law reading this, it is also important to note: If your mother-in-law has a strong nature, the best approach is not avoidance. Show up. Be present. Learn how to navigate her style while maintaining your own voice. Develop resilience, and if you need to create some space for your own well-being, do so thoughtfully and with guidance from a trusted rav. Learning to function around people with strong natures is a vital skill in life.
Those who pull back and don’t develop “antibodies” to strong people get hurt and run away from life’s challenges. Healthy families thrive when both sides take responsibility for their part in the relationship.
defense. Show a willingness to grow.
Include her in conversations and family dynamics in ways that show her she truly belongs.
Stay consistent, warm and patient — relationships take time to deepen.
The fact that you’re reflecting, asking questions and seeking guidance shows that you really want to build this relationship with care. That itself is a tremendous merit. With gentle clarity, open communication and a willingness to adjust, you can create the connection you long for — one that honors both your role as a mother and your daughterin-law’s place as a new wife and partner.
With patience and understanding, such a relationship can grow into something deeply rewarding.
Mordechai Weinberger, LCSW is the Executive Director of Serenity Center Clinic in Monsey, where he leads a team of 40+ therapists treating children, teenagers and adults. The clinic provides care for depression, anxiety, OCD, marriage challenges, addiction and more. For more information, call 845286-2210 or visit serenityctr.com.
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Do you ever feel like you’re in a race against time, scrambling to get everyone out the door? I remember those frantic mornings when I’d rush down to the bus, huffing and puffing at the last minute, wondering how some mothers always seemed to have it together, calmly waiting(!) for the bus. The good news? You can do this too. There’s nothing complicated or magical about it; it’s super simple.
Our kids absorb the Down syndrome diagnosis. We name our daughter Malky.
CHAPTER 3 IN THIS STROLLER LIES A BABY
“Afew days in Aishes Chayil or a Doona stroller?”
“What?”
Hersh covered the mouthpiece of his cellphone and grinned at me. “Someone wants to gift you a few days in Aishes Chayil or a Doona stroller. Which one do you want?”
I grinned. “Both.”
I was usually pretty reserved, satisfied with what I had and happy to pay my own way through life, but the drama of the last few days was getting to me, creating a sudden ravenous appetite to be wined and dined and showered with gifts.
“Who’s offering?” I asked Hersh. Malky was our fourth child, a stage where we would typically be lucky to receive a stretchy or a toy. This offer was a substantial gift worthy of a first baby.
Hersh hesitated. “It’s supposed to be a surprise.”
GITTI BEILIS
“Oh, come on, I won’t tell. Who is it?”
“Your siblings.”
A powerful wave of love flowed over me. My siblings were all young couples struggling to stabilize financially, some still in learning and some just starting off in business. This gift was a sacrifice, every dollar earned with sweat and toil. It warmed me like nothing else could.
As a rule, my twelve siblings and I didn’t talk much about feelings. We could make a lot of noise, and conversations would meander from politics to nutrition to school placement with verve and passion. But when it came to showing support and being there for each other, action took the place of words. By nature or nurture, it worked for me. The Doona arrived the next day, and I lovingly placed a swaddled Queen Malka in it and kvelled at how perfect she looked, tiny nose peeking out of layers of blanket.
Completely absorbed in my nachas, I was oblivious to the reaction of Tillie, who was standing at my side.
Tillie grabbed the Doona and gave it a solid push. In sickening slow motion, the stroller toppled over and Malky fell to the floor, the Doona on top of her.
There was no sound from Malky.
I shrieked and lunged for my baby. I yanked the stroller off her and turned Malky over to face me. Malky locked her eyes with mine and let out an annoyed and angry shriek. COMPLETELY ABSORBED
One shriek.
It was the first sound I had heard from her since she’d cried at birth, and it melted my heart. Her eye contact and clear annoyance spoke of a dynamic and determined personality. Malky had a mind of her own and would not be pushed around by anyone, least of all her siblings.
BUT ONE QUESTION SUCCEEDED IN PENETRATING. IT WAS THE ONE ASKED OVER AND OVER AGAIN. “IS SHE HOME?”
Moments like these reassured me that everything would be just fine. I distracted Tillie with her new doll stroller and took my own little doll and the Doona for a test run. As I gripped the handlebar, I felt the love and support of my siblings. I had my troops backing me, supporting me; a quiet engine that would propel me forward.
Extended family was a whole different story. The phone calls didn’t stop, as various aunts and cousins felt a burning need to offer their two cents and opinions.
“Shefele! How aaaare you? How did the kinderlach take it?”
“The whole family is so tzubruchen. I’ve been crying non-stop.”
“Mama’la! I’m so, so sorry… Oy, the tzaaros we see nowadays. Moshiach has to come already.”
I tried hard not to burst out laughing in the face of such pain, but stroking Malky’s soft cheeks and observing her peaceful countenance as she lay sleeping created an incredulous detachment from the hysteria and distress.
But one question succeeded in penetrating. It was the one asked over and over again.
“Is she home?”
Bobby Rosenthal was the first to ask the question. The first time, I was confused. Home? Why not? Was Bobby worried about an extended hospital stay?
“Yes, baruch Hashem! At first, they thought Malky would have to be in the NICU for a couple of weeks, but her heart is better than expected, and they allowed us to come home right away.”
A moment of silence.
“Gittele, zeeskeit, I meant to ask if she’s homehome.”
“Home-home?” I asked. “You mean, like a rehab?” Malky had a heart defect that would likely need serious surgery in a few months, but for now she was a healthy, rosy-cheeked baby. Despite the common feeding struggles in many babies with Down syndrome, Malky had a strong suck and a hearty appetite. Why wouldn’t she be home?
Bobby cleared her throat and lowered her voice. “You know, home with you. Is she home with you? Or is she with someone else? You will consider giving her up, won’t you?”
What?!
I was shocked into silence.
My silence must have delivered the message. Im-
mediately, Bobby changed gears.
“Listen, Gittele, you’re the mother here. You know best. Forget I said anything. Zeidy and I support you in whatever you do. You’ll see, you’ll have so much nachas from her.”
This was a reaction I would witness over and over again. People took their cue from us. When we projected strength and conviction in our ability to rise to the challenge, the world responded in kind, backing off and giving us space to raise our precious daughter.
I was scanning the room for Hersh, wondering how much of the conversation he had overheard, when it hit me. How much of this had he gone through in the last couple of days? While I had the luxury of staying in the privacy of my home and getting to know my princess, he spent his entire day in shul and kollel, surrounded by curious crowds. Was he facing pressure? Getting unwanted and unasked for advice?
I finally found him leaning against the seforim shank with closed eyes, clutching a thin sefer. I came closer and peered at the spine. Pele Yoetz
“Hersh? What are you reading?”
Hersh startled out of his reverie, straightened his back and started reading out loud.
“Pele Yoetz, os beis, perek of ‘bas, a daughter.’” He began to read.
There are some among the masses who, when a daughter is born, avoid going to the beis medrash or among their friends, out of fear of mockery or ridicule... Woe to them on the Day of Judgment — how great is their sin! Was it in their hands to choose a son or a daughter? And what wrong or sin has the daughter committed (that her parents should be ashamed of her existence)?
They do not understand that everything is from Hashem, and all is for the good. It is not within a person’s power to choose what will be born… What occurs is only what Hashem, in His wisdom, has decreed.
“What?” I demanded. I’d heard of this mentality in ancient Greek culture, but Yidden? “Yidden were embarrassed to have daughters?”
“Unfortunately, in the times of the Peleh Yoetz, this was a reality.”
“Okay,” I said, “but why are you reading this now? This isn’t relevant in this day and age.”
I FINALLY FOUND HIM LEANING AGAINST THE SEFORIM SHANK WITH CLOSED EYES, CLUTCHING A THIN SEFER
Hersh gave me the sefer. “Read it again, but do this. Every time the sefer says ‘son,’ replace it with ‘typical child’ and every time he says ‘daughter,’ replace it with the term ‘child with Down syndrome.’” I took the sefer gingerly, afraid but curious. I started reading, doing the mental replacement my husband had suggested.
“There are some among the masses who, when a child with Down syndrome is born, avoid going to the beis medrash or among their friends, out of fear of mockery or ridicule... Woe to them on the Day of Judgment — how great is their sin! Was it in their hands to choose a typical child or a child with Down syndrome? And what wrong or sin has the child with Down syndrome committed (that her parents should be ashamed of her existence?)
“They do not understand that everything is from Hashem, blessed be He, and all is for the good. It is not within a person’s power to choose what will be born… What occurs is only what Hashem, in His wisdom, has decreed.”
I took a deep breath and continued reading.
“And one must know that sometimes a child with Down syndrome can bring greater merit than a typical child. Therefore, a person should accept Hashem’s decree with joy, and invest in the righteous upbringing of his child with Down syndrome. She will merit the World to Come, and he, the father, will share in that... and merit everlasting reward.”
The words were piercing, simple and resonated deeply. I understood. Hersh had faced the world, faced the scoffers and the naysayers, but he had the words of the Pele Yoetz to strengthen him. (A while later I had the zechus to share Hersh’s insight with an adam gadol. Tears flowed down his weathered face and he whispered, “Gerecht, gerecht. This is truth, this is truth.”)
Buoyed by the strength of these words, I was able to take the next round of calls with equanimity and confidence, establishing our attitude and respectful requests.
From a classmate: “You had a Downy! Wow, I love Downies.”
Me: “She’s not a Downy. Her name is Malky, and she has Down syndrome. Please call her by her name.”
From a neighbor down the street: “Kids with Down syndrome are so cute. They make their families sooo happy.”
Me: “Baruch Hashem, I had a beautiful baby girl. She is very cute. She will make us very happy. Please treat her as a person.”
From kids and adults: “Will she go to Hamaspik or HASC?”
Events memorablemade
TEARS FLOWED DOWN HIS WEATHERED FACE AND HE WHISPERED, “GERECHT, GERECHT. THIS IS TRUTH, THIS IS TRUTH”
Me: “She’s still a tiny baby. Im yirtzeh Hashem, she’ll grow and show us what she can do, and then we’ll find an appropriate school for her. Maybe she’ll be in the same class as your baby!”
And so it went, and so it still goes. Advocating for her to exist as an individual human being, and standing up to judgement and eye rolling. Answering once again why I am so adamant about proper and respectful language, why I insist on seeing her as a human being first, and only after that, dealing with her challenges.
To those who are sincerely interested, I explain more, leading to some wonderful and deep friendships. For those who aren’t receptive to my perspective, I respect their position but remain firm in mine, hoping they can respect that too.
And when I’m too tired to repeat my speeches, when I want to throw in the towel and just acquiesce to the “They, them, Downy, Hamaspik, HASC” crowd, I reach for the Pele Yoetz and do the mental adjustments. “Therefore, a person should accept Hashem’s decree with joy, and invest in the righteous upbringing of his child with Down syndrome. In doing so, he will merit everlasting reward.”
Time and again, I’ve shared these powerful words with new mothers. The timeless words have become my personal source of comfort.
COMING NEXT WEEK: THE MEETING OF THE ELEPHANTS AND THE SKELETONS.
Names and identifying details have been changed. This serial reflects the author’s personal experiences. Every child with Down syndrome is unique, and so are their families. Halacha, hashkafah, developmental and medical decisions should be referred to the appropriate rabbanim and professionals.
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We the People
BY BROCHY GANELES
Jacob meets the other men in his mess. Rebecca offers Judith help in the kitchen, but Judith turns her away.
Jacob
The evening air carries a most welcome breeze. They sit around the small fire that Uriah has started, and Israel stands over the kettle.
“You are lucky to have your first dinner in the army tonight, when it is Simon’s turn at the kettle. Last night was Israel’s turn, and my stomach still has not forgiven it.” Uriah laughs roundly, as do the others.
Jacob stands and walks over to Israel. “What is it you are making?”
“Peas.” The lad’s voice comes out as a squeak, and he clears his voice and starts again. “It will be soup when I am through with it.”
“Soup?” Uriah scoffs. “He humbles himself. It will be a most agreeable stew of beef and peas.”
“Beef?” Jacob looks between them, trying to understand their meaning. Surely they would not —
“It is kosher meat.” Judah says. “The parnas of the beis knesses sees to it that the Jewish soldiers are supplied with beef or fish while at camp, if possible. And there is salted beef, too.”
Jacob is glad to hear it. Rebecca had sent him off with
some provisions of his own; he did not know what to expect living among gentiles. He has salted fish in his haversack, but he is glad he will not need to eat of his own supplies.
“When we head out on campaign, that is when it will be more difficult.” Judah says. “The beans and peas grow tiresome rather quickly.”
“I’d rather tire my jawbone by eating beans and peas than having it do without any exercise at all!” Simon says.
“But it doesn’t matter. We would be hungry regardless of our kosher diet’s limitations. Though the soldiers are promised daily rations of beef or pork, it is rare indeed that they receive it. We are their fellow sufferers of hunger.”
Judah nods his agreement, and Israel too. Uriah is silent, however, his gaze fixed on the kettle.
Soon Israel announces the soup’s — nay, stew’s — completion, and they all gather around the kettle. Jacob had not realized how hungry he was, and the scent of a good meal so close to him is enough to make his hands tremble. His fingers still burn from the dreadful training of the morning, and his whole body aches, but it is enough to know that soon his stomach will no longer rumble.
He washes his hands and recites the blessing. Warm,
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salty, but delicious nonetheless.
“It is very tasty!” Jacob calls to Israel, who nods with a smile but says nothing. Jacob cannot tell if the lad is quiet because that is his nature, or if he fears a repeat episode of throat-squeaks. He smiles in return, and a comfortable silence settles over the mess.
So the men speak of hunger. He was prepared enough for hardship when he decided on this journey; surely he will be able to withstand some hunger, if it comes to be. It is his current feelings of inadequacy that worry him more. He must learn well, and quickly, how to handle a musket.
He saw it on the other soldiers’ faces earlier that day, the smirks and eyes of laughter. He is one of ten new recruits in the company, but he is the slowest of them all. His mouth twists into a grimace, and he swallows the bitterness that rises in his throat at the memory of the day’s training. Again and again, the lieutenant had called the orders, and the soldiers had responded with smooth maneuvers. All but Jacob. There was a heaviness to his movements, a hesitancy. He looked at the others before positioning his musket, before marching in form, while the others looked ahead at the lieutenant with clear and steady eyes.
He does not know why it has always been like this. It is as if he worries that he shall not succeed, and so he doesn’t. His heart starts to make its beating known in his chest, a warmth spreading over his face.
It is maddening, truly it is. Why can he not set his mind to success and reach it? He is no less of a man than the other soldiers, than his brothers. There is a tightness to him, a tightness of mind. He has always thought he was destined for simplicity, but perhaps it is he who made it so.
He looks at the fire, watches it jump and leap toward the night sky. Again and again the flames rise, trying to catch the stars, but then they fall back. The fire is held down, confined to the small circle
of stones they have set around it. Perhaps he is the same. Perhaps he has been the fire all his life, and he only has to break through the ring of stones that surround him. Mother, with her eyes that have always looked down on him, no matter how tall he grew. And Father, with ears only for the accomplishments of his elder brothers.
Stones, indeed.
There is nothing like the darkness of night to make a soldier suddenly miss those he left behind
“Jacob, what troubles you? You seem lost in thoughts of gloom.” Uriah speaks to him from across the fire.
His gaze stirs from the fire before him, and he looks up at the rest of his mess. “It is nothing really. I am only thinking of my family.”
“Ah, indeed. There is nothing like the darkness of night to make a soldier suddenly miss those he left behind.”
Jacob smiles, but does not respond. He was not thinking warmly of his family.
“My youngest will have his second birthday next week.” Uriah says. “Phillip. He looks like me, they say, though I don’t think there is any resemblance between us but the redness of our hair.” He is silent for a moment as he looks at the fire, then smiles. “He is like me in character, though. He has long tired out his nursemaid, and his poor mother, too! Every letter from my wife tells me of the boy’s latest scrapes, and though I know she writes for my sympathy, I cannot help but laugh at the boy’s antics.”
“Is he your only son?”
“Yes. The first after four daughters.”
Jacob looks at Uriah. Funny, he had thought him to be much young-
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er; not so young as the other lads in their mess, but younger, still.
“My eldest is not two months old. I daresay there is not too much to him yet, but when I return he will be a completely different creature.” He turns to the rest of the men. “I don’t suppose any of you lads are married?”
Simon and Judah laugh, and Israel reddens. “Our friend Israel is but fifteen!”
“Fifteen?” Jacob looks at Israel for confirmation. The lad nods, reddening even more. “How did your parents ever agree to your joining the army?”
“As I am one child out of eleven, I daresay they were relieved.” His voice warbles in the middle of his words, and he clears his throat. “One less mouth to feed. And they greatly appreciate the extra income from my salary.”
Jacob startles, but keeps his face composed. What must it feel like, to be so young, and know so solemnly of his burden on the family? The boy must be afraid. Judah and Simon have been laughing and speaking merrily with Uriah this whole evening, but Israel has been quiet. He does not view the Continental Army as an adventure as the others do. He must think it an obligation — no, a sacrifice.
When at last their meal finishes and they have put out the fire, when they have prayed a hushed Maariv together under the stars, they retire to the thin cots of the tent. The others talk among themselves, quiet banter and plans for the morrow, but Jacob is silent.
Fifteen is too young to think his only worth is the paltry salary sent homeward as payment for his sacrificing life and limb
Of two things he is resolute: The first is that he will look after young Israel during their time together. There is something in the boy’s eyes that reminds him of himself — a worry, perhaps, of all his fears of irrelevance being shown to be true. Fifteen is too young to think his only worth is the paltry salary sent homeward as payment for his sacrificing life and limb.
The second resolution he knows not how he will accomplish, but he is determined nonetheless: He will succeed as a soldier. The other soldiers do not know him as Jacob Solomon, the tailor’s apprentice and fourth son. They will form an opinion of him solely on his merits as a soldier. He will not give them the opportunity to laugh at him again. This time, he will succeed.
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Tasty Herbals FOR HEALTHY CHILDREN
Certified Kosher Parve
There’s nothing quite like the comfort of a steaming bowl of soup on a cold winter night. These recipes are packed with flavor, soul and just the right amount of cozy. Whether you’re craving creamy, chunky or easy, we’ve got you covered.
Leah Wertzberger
VEGETABLE SOUP Hearty
I know, I know, a vegetable requires so much peeling and chopping. (Feel free to use the food processor if you’re not picky about the texture.) However, the bowl you’ll sit and enjoy will be pure winter bliss and so worth the effort.
INGREDIENTS
1 large onion
2 large zucchinis, unpeeled
1 small sweet potato
1 medium parsnip
1 stalk celery or medium knob celery
6 carrots
2 T. oil
1 T. dried dill weed or a bunch of fresh dill or 3 frozen dill cubes
2 T. parsley flakes or a bunch of fresh parsley
5 tsp. salt, to taste Black pepper, to taste Dash of cayenne pepper
1 cup pearl barley
DIRECTIONS
1. Finely chop or dice all vegetables.
2. Saute vegetables in oil until soft, approximately 10 to 15 minutes.
3. Add the herbs, spices and barley, then fill the pot with water until it is three-quarters full. It will appear very watery, but the barley will absorb a significant amount of water.
4. Let the soup come to a boil, then reduce the heat to a simmer for a few hours; the longer, the better. Stir the soup intermittently to prevent the barley from sticking.
CAULIFLOWER SOUP Easy
The perfect soup for when you don’t have the time or patience to chop vegetables — but don’t want to give up on flavor.
INGREDIENTS
2 T. oil
1 large onion, diced
2 frozen garlic cubes
1 (24 oz.) bag frozen cauliflower
1 stalk celery, diced
1 small squash, diced
Small daikon radish (or a piece of a big one), whole
4 tsp. salt, to taste
Black pepper, to taste
2 tsp. garlic powder
DIRECTIONS
1. Saute the onion until translucent.
2. Add garlic cubes and vegetables. Saute for a few minutes.
3. Add 7 cups of water as well as spices.
4. Let the soup come to a boil. Cook until the water has thickened (about 45 to 60 minutes).
5. When the soup is ready, discard the daikon radish, and blend the soup to your desired consistency.
HOMEMADE BAGEL CROUTONS
INGREDIENTS
3 mini mezonos bagels, chopped
Salt, to taste
Garlic powder, to taste
Parsley flakes, to taste
Olive oil or oil spray
DIRECTIONS
1. Toss the bagel pieces with oil. Sprinkle spices to taste.
2. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Lay the bagel pieces in an even layer on the cookie sheet.
3. Bake at 400° for 7 minutes, and allow to cool.
ZUCCHINI SOUP The Creamiest
This is by far the creamiest, most flavorful zucchini soup you have ever tasted.
INGREDIENTS
2 T. margarine or oil
1 large onion
4 medium zucchinis, unpeeled and diced
1 stalk celery, diced
1 small potato, peeled and diced
3 cups chicken broth or ¼ cup consommé in 3 cups of water
5 tsp. salt, to taste Black pepper, to taste
2 frozen dill cubes or a few sprigs of fresh dill
8 cups water
DIRECTIONS
1. Saute all vegetables in margarine for at least 10 minutes.
2. Add chicken broth, salt, pepper and dill to the pot. Add approximately 8 cups of water.
3. Bring to a boil, then simmer for 30 minutes.
4. Blend with an immersion blender until smooth.
Jewish mothers’ guilt is a famous reality. We never hear about Jewish fathers’ guilt, or Chinese mothers’ guilt. But as a group, mothers seem universally vulnerable to guilt. A little healthy guilt is nothing to be ashamed of.
“As opposed to some theories in secular psychology, which would have us believe that guilt is a negative emotion best eradicated, the Torah attitude is that guilt comes from a good place,” says Rivka Levitansky of Positive Parenting.
A Jewish mother views her family as her life’s calling, wants to do what’s right, and will constantly review what she’s done, thinking, planning and improving. We’re works in progress, and that’s a good thing.
Too Much Guilt?
In proper proportion, guilt can be the impetus to improve our behavior. Instead of demanding that our children “shape up already,” and reacting angrily when they misbehave or make poor choices, taking responsibility for our mistakes helps us recognize that we’re also imperfect.
But unlimited guilt is unhealthy. When people get stuck, wallowing in guilt, ruminating and beating themselves up, that’s unproductive.
“Charatah is only beneficial when it leads to action,” explains Mrs. Levitansky. If guilt is a catalyst to improve, to have that tough conversation, to make amends — then it has a place, albeit a limited one.
“The yetzer hara wants us to wallow in guilt,” she says. The greatest mission we have is raising the next generation of Klal Yisroel, and one of the most effective tools of the yetzer hara is to mire us in guilt, goading us to beat ourselves up and feel bad about ourselves, instead of tackling our next steps with joy and confidence.
In one extreme manifestation, the yetzer hara persuades us to feel guilty even about things out of our control — the toll illness is taking on a family, a child’s difficulties in school, or the family’s financial straits — even though we know we did nothing to cause the problem.
The antidote to this illogical guilt, says Mrs. Levitansky, is a strong connection to Hashem. Speaking to Hashem through tefillah or informally, focusing on the meaning of a bracha, or learning about bitachon all help to create and strengthen that bond. She recommends doing something specific to strengthen bitachon constantly, even if you already consider yourself a baalas bitachon. The more we feel Him in our lives on a daily basis, the more we will be able to focus on the ever-present chesed in our lives, and the more confidence we’ll have that our children’s lives are playing out exactly according to the plan Hashem has for them. That’s not to say we won’t ever hurt. Life can be painful, even devastating, but we can take comfort in the awareness that challenging circumstances are designed to help us complete our missions.
Fitting It All In
Mother’s guilt is universal, but we also seem to be feeling guilty about the same things. In researching this article, it became clear that many, if not most, mothers feel guilty for not giving their kids the individual time and attention they believe they need. However, everyone’s resources are limited. What’s the proper perspective on this conflict? And how can mothers maximize the amount of focused attention they give each child?
“Everyone knows intellectually that Hashem is the third partner in the creation of a child,” says Mrs. Levitansky, “but we tend to forget about Him. When the demands of life seem overwhelming, and we feel that we simply don’t
have the resources to give our kids what they need, bring Hashem in. ‘I can’t deal with this tantrum any longer, Hashem,’ a mother can say, or, ‘Help this teen finally feel satisfied.’
We don’t even have to wait until we feel overwhelmed to bring Hashem into the picture. Being connected daily brings great menuchas hanefesh into our lives.
“The more we concretize the idea that Hashem is here with us, and that He has provided us with exactly the tools we need, the calmer we can feel about what we are able to provide, and even about our limitations.”
Working within your limitations, recognize that even small things are great. You may not have time for as many ice cream dates as your kids would want, but how you parent in general will help them get past their temporary disappointment. A loving mother who gives lots of smiles, quick hugs, private winks, encouragement and acceptance, sending positive vibes that she thinks her kids are great (yes, even and especially the challenging ones!), is giving
Why I Feel Guilty
The things we feel guilty about are surprisingly universal — and contradictory. Seems we can feel guilty about anything, and we do! Here’s a list of common mother’s guilt-inducers. Do they look familiar?
I don’t read enough to my kids.
I don’t arrange enough playdates for my kids.
I should put more effort into cultivating proper eating habits instead of relying on the dual excuses of “I can’t fight community culture” and “There’s just too much going on.”
I make eating habits and nosh consumption too much of an issue.
Tznius seems rule-based to my daughter, not like a special privilege.
I didn’t stand up for my son when a rebbi mishandled a situation.
I’m not the one my preteen daughter confides in. She always turns to her friends first.
I don’t give the “good, easy” kids enough attention when I’m busy with therapies and prizes and incentives with the harder kids.
I can’t keep my phone in the drawer where it belongs for more than a few minutes.
Whatever I do, I can’t get supper on the table before the kids are home.
My kids fight too much and never want to eat what I make for supper.
Bedtime is always a struggle and leaves me feeling like I wasn’t my best self.
her children something more precious than a single, occasional block of uninterrupted time.
As kids get older, they do have a greater need for focused one-on-one attention. Still, aim for realistic and sustainable. You may not get to give each kid fifteen minutes every night, but can you give everyone ten minutes a couple of times a week?
And when you can’t, you can’t. Remind yourself that Hashem apportions our circumstances, so you can work on accepting our limitations with equanimity. It’s crucial to be aware of what you’re doing with your time (are you getting lost on the phone or computer?) but in cases of genuine inability, you can feel confident that you’re not required to do the impossible. A mother can only use the tools she has. At different stages of life, the resources at her disposal will be different. Optimal functioning for a just-back-towork kimpeturin will be very
YOU MAY NOT HAVE TIME FOR AS MANY ICE CREAM DATES AS YOUR KIDS WOULD WANT, BUT YOU CAN GIVE A WARM SMILE WHEN YOUR EYES
MEET ACROSS THE ROOM
different from a stay-at-home mother whose youngest is nine, and that’s fine.
All we are expected to do is the best we can, and then we don’t need to feel responsible for things that don’t work out as we’d hoped.
Sometimes, a mother’s toolkit will expand with age and experience, as she learns more about developmentally appropriate expectations, or that certain things are just a passing stage. She can also proactively expand her toolkit by taking a parenting class, or speaking to a rebbetzin, coach, or older, more experienced mother. When you know what to do, you’re less likely to engage in guilt or second guessing.
“But All the Good Mothers Let!”
Many mothers feel guilt related to the logistics and routines of parenting: not scheduling enough playdates, not allowing paint and glitter in the house, not getting their kids swimming/music/art lessons, not having supper on the table when the kids walk in, being too harried at bedtime. Some mothers feel guilty for not teaching healthy eating, and others feel guilty for stressing it too much; some feel guilty for being too strict, and others feel guilty for
SOME MOTHERS FEEL GUILTY FOR NOT TEACHING HEALTHY EATING, AND OTHERS FEEL GUILTY FOR STRESSING IT TOO MUCH; SOME FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING TOO STRICT, AND OTHERS FEEL GUILTY FOR BEING UNINVOLVED IN THEIR KIDS’ LIVES
being uninvolved in their kids’ lives.
What does that say about the way we think about parenting or about our expectations of ourselves?
According to Mrs. Levitansky, we give ourselves, and our choices, too much power. The Chofetz Chaim said that raising children is 100% siyata d’Shmaya The prohibition of glitter or the
allowance of junk food does not actually affect the outcome.
So does that mean that what I do doesn’t matter? No. It matters in the sense that a Yid always needs to make the best choices in the moment. We need to try our best, invest in hishtadlus, and push ourselves where we can, but ultimately, the success of our efforts depends on Hashem. Keeping this thought
top of mind can help us feel less frantic; we don’t have to be perfect. Our judgment doesn’t need to be right 100% of the time, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Mrs. Levitansky also reminds mothers that Hashem made kids resilient. Kids don’t fall apart from mistakes (unless they are overwhelmingly harsh, humiliating or frightening).
Let’s get this out there right now: You won’t do everything the way your kids want. Yes, they’ll complain. But it’s still okay to say no within reason. It’s important to recognize that limits and boundaries are among the greatest gifts we can give our children, though they may be unhappy temporarily. How will children learn to deal with
You’ve tried. It’s not your fault. There’s more to understand.
Some kids simply feel more. Noise, texture, tone - everything “lands” louder.
You’ve planned, explained and prayed, but the meltdowns and sensitivities still appear.
It’s not disobedience. It’s not your parenting. It’s the way their brains are wired.
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life’s disappointments if they never have practice?
Constructive guilt can only come from an internal realization that we can do better. Your kids’ attempts to guilt trip you are not a reliable barometer of when you’ve made a mistake.
But I Really Messed Up
Sometimes guilt is about things that are real, significant and have caused irreversible damage. There’s the mother who was afraid to stand up to a bullying rebbi, with the result being that her child abandoned Yiddishkeit, or the mother who missed the signs of a learning disability, which meant her child suffered for many years. How can a mother who made serious mistakes with grave repercussions keep herself from falling into the trap of unproductive guilt?
“We all make mistakes; it’s
“THE MOURNING INVOLVED IN RECOGNIZING OUR FAILINGS BECOMES TRULY MEANINGFUL WHEN WE USE THOSE EMOTIONS AS A SPRINGBOARD FOR REAL INTROSPECTION AND GROWTH”
called being human,” says Mrs. Levitansky.
When we’ve made mistakes, even serious ones, it’s important to remember that there’s still hashgacha at work. People have bechirah, Hashem has a Master plan, and we are responsible for our efforts, but not the outcome. Even when the outcomes seem like the worst imaginable, hope is never lost. If a child has strayed, the mother can always work on repairing the relationship. She can reach out, express love and apologize, if warranted. Just as Hashem loves us despite the aveiros we do every day, we can show love and acceptance even when we are pained by a child’s choices.
In the throes of guilt and regret, remember to return that pain to its source. Don’t
just daven for things to improve with your child, your parnassah and your health; include someone else’s child, parnassah and health. And most important of all, daven for the geulah sheleimah, the end to all pain. We don’t just want a better, more comfortable galus; we want an end to all our suffering. Daven for a time when we’ll understand why all the pain was necessary.
Daven for a time when the entire world will recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu, our lives will be filled with unimaginable joy, and there will be no more tzaar in raising children.
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GITTY NEUMAN
Sunday rhymes with Funday, yet for some girl-families, Sundays can feel like anything but fun. Lacking structure and routine, the hours drag by slowly while the house goes topsy-turvy. With meals and snacks overlapping to combat the hunger-slash-boredom, crumbs of aggravation and annoyance sprinkle the day that never seems to end.
Yet in some households, even the adults look forward to Sunday, enjoying the reprieve from having to make early buses and from running tight schedules. Let’s hear from a sampling of mothers.
LEAH TESSLER
YES, I love Sundays
Tell us more about why you like Sundays.
After I got married, I lived in Eretz Yisroel, where Sunday is a school day like every other day. I would hear my friends and siblings back home talk about how much they dreaded their Sundays, and I was idealistic. “I would never let that become my attitude,” I promised myself. Teachers spend so much time with our children; why all this attitude about Sunday? When I moved back to America, I remembered my commitment and decided to make my Sundays a day of bonding with my children, not a countdown to Monday morning.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
I plan an activity in advance and include all the supplies we’ll need in the previous week’s grocery order, such as Elmer’s glue, colorful Cheerios and modeling clay. Davening is not a rushed affair. I make a nice “Sunday Specials” breakfast, taking custom orders from my kids (sunny-side-up or scrambled, waffles or pancakes). Then we do an activity or craft. At approximately 2 p.m., Tatty comes home for lunch, and they show off their crafts. An hour later, the day feels like it’s starting to wind down, and that’s when we do homework and any school projects.
Any
cleanup tips you can share?
Honestly, there’s no point in doing much cleaning on Sunday. I try to do a basic cleanup on Motzei Shabbos and encourage my children to clean their bedrooms on Sunday morning so the mess stays contained. My cleaning help is scheduled for Monday at 8 a.m. That way, I’m calmer about the mess all Sunday.
What happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
Hashem is really good to me. My kids are great at entertaining each other.
TZIVI MANDEL
NO, I do not like Sundays
Tell us more about why you don’t like Sundays.
Sunday is not a real day of the week. I try not to think about it during the rest of the week. In short, it’s a day that drags by very slowly, but then it’s suddenly 5 p.m., and I have no supper plans, no ingredients and a houseful of hungry children.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
No, but I’m more than happy to hear any ideas. Whatever I’ve done in the past has backfired. At a certain point, we were big on inviting friends over, but my children weren’t keen on sharing their toys. Sharing the playroom was another issue, so we stopped that. For a while, we had a little day camp at our house, but we outgrew it eventually. I’ve sent some children to clubs and dance classes, but it was never very successful, and the kids who stayed home were resentful that they weren’t going. I never found the perfect formula.
Any cleanup tips you can share?
I prefer to have cleaning help on Sunday morning so that I can start the day with a clear mind. But then she comes back on Monday morning, because… well, Sunday happened in between.
What happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
I try not to yell. I count to ten. I hide in my bedroom. I practice my breathing. I do all the things that parenting class taught me to do (and other things I’m not proud of, but that’s that).
SURY HASS
YES, I love Sundays
Tell us more about why you like Sundays.
I work during the week, and I’m too tired to spend quality time with my children after school. Plus, weeknights are for homework, and my children go to sleep pretty early, so the bedtime routine starts at 6 p.m. Sunday feels more like a fun day to me. We can do interesting activities, I can choose when to wake up, and there are no urgent phone calls that I have to make.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
For my oldest daughter, I subscribed to the Bake Box, so once a month, she does a structured baking activity, most of which she can do independently. The rest of the time, we just make the day work for us. We don’t invite friends over; it’s just me and my children. As I make beds and do some laundry, the children hang out around me, squabbling or helping, as children usually do. We schmooze, we laugh and I try not to mussar them too much. So, to answer your question, the special thing I do is that I let things go, rather than being my more structured, workday self.
Any cleanup tips you can share?
No. Can you give me some? Cleanup is just one of the sad realities of life, similar to dirty diapers and ear infections. Mothers deal with cleanup on Sunday just like they do on other days. But I do try to leave the bulk of the cleanup for Sunday evening, rather than nagging the children to clean up all day long.
What happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
Interestingly, they don’t say it as much on Sunday as they do on other days. I think it’s because I’m tuned in to them and spending time with them, one-on-one, so they don’t need to beg me to stop and look at them. My eight-year-old son comes home from cheder at 2:50 p.m., and when he comes home, there’s less fighting than usual. The kids who’ve been home with me all day are more emotionally satiated and don’t need me as much as they usually do, and that’s when I can focus on him.
RAIZY WEG
NO, I do not like Sundays
Tell us more about why you don’t like Sundays.
Sunday is a day when the clock feels like it’s moving backward. My children are early risers, and if I try to put them to sleep later on Motzei Shabbos, it backfires and results in an even earlier wake-up. So I’m stressed on Motzei Shabbos getting my children to bed on time, and then they wake me up with some sort of crisis or another early Sunday
FRIMMY KLEIN
YES, I love Sundays
Tell us more about why you like Sundays.
I’m not sure I love Sundays, but I definitely try to enjoy them.
I’ve accepted the fact that I won’t be moving mountains on Sunday. Sometimes, I won’t even manage to clear the breakfast table before suppertime. And that’s fine. Instead, I’ll just be on Sundays. I try to entertain my children; when I do, the day goes by faster. Also, I know that on Sunday nights I tend to be exhausted, so I do what I could
morning anyway. And it’s downhill from there. They’re bored, cranky and out of routine. It’s a loooong day.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
I try to be a good mother, and I sometimes bake with them, but it usually ends with a huge mess, a million fights and all-around resentment. Sometimes we invite a friend over, but that doesn’t always work out either. It’s a risk. I’ve had kids’ friends asking to go home fifteen minutes after they’ve arrived. If I take my children out to the supermarket without any tantrums, that’s an accomplishment. All week long, my children are pretty decently behaved; they’re just not themselves on Sunday. Every Sunday.
Any cleanup tips you can share?
I wish! I can give you cleanup horror stories, not tips. My two-year-old is the best cleanup helper; he loves to
to make it work. Sunday suppers usually consist of sandwiches.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
Initially, we tried doing courses like baking or dance classes, but these things only filled an hour of the day, so it wasn’t worth it.
My sister, who lives down the block, has four girls home on Sundays. For a while, the two “big girls” (mine and hers) ran a day camp every Sunday for their six younger siblings/cousins. They named it Camp Rainbow, and they composed a camp song with full-on choreography. The girls planned the program throughout the week and asked us to buy their supplies in advance.
The camp alternated between the two houses. While it officially was a two-hour activity, it typically lasted for three to four hours. That took away a big chunk of the day. Besides, the big kids felt like a million bucks, and the younger children had a blast. Once every few months, if they needed something extra, we would go on an outing, such as to the ice cream store or a local petting zoo. But
spritz water on every available surface. I should probably say: Don’t ask your kids for help with cleanup; you’re just begging for more fighting. Just do it yourself.
What happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
On occasion, I whine with them. Except that I say, “I have so much to do.” Sometimes I tell them, “You can put away your toys,” but that doesn’t go over very well. I’ve learned to say, “What do you think you can do?” because if I offer suggestions, my kids will shoot them down, one by one.
“You can color.”
“No.”
“You can play with Legos.”
“N-o-o.”
“What about reading books?”
“I don’t want to.”
Then, when bedtime finally arrives, they say, “I want to color, play Legos and read books. You said I could!”
like all good ventures, this day camp eventually wound down.
Any cleanup tips you can share?
Usually, at least one camp activity involved food. They often used the Betty Crocker or decorated cookies. The big girls were officially in charge of cleanup, but we didn’t make a big deal if they didn’t do a thorough job. It was worth it, even if they left the mess.
Regarding house cleaning, I feel that cleaning help on Sunday is like shoveling snow while it’s still snowing. I have cleaning help on Monday morning.
What happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
I smile and say, “It’s okay to be bored.” But deep down, I sometimes think that Sundays should be deleted from the calendar. Every Sunday feels like Isru Chag! Since I’m the mother, I do try to entertain them, even if it exhausts me. If I’m going to sit on the couch or do some laundry, they’re going to kvetch, and that doesn’t make things any easier.
ZELDY SCHWIMMER
YES, I love Sundays
Tell us more about why you like Sundays.
We’re a girl family, and we love our girls dearly. But it’s hard for me to pull off the morning scramble every single day. On Sunday, there are no buses to catch, no rushing to arrive at the school building before the bell rings. There’s a slower, easier mood in the house, and I love it. On school mornings, if my children sing while they brush their hair, I’ll tell them, ‘Remember to hurry!’ but on Sunday, I’ll sing along.
Also, school nights are a jumble of homework, assignments and projects. Sunday is long enough to feel like a day, even if my kids do some schoolwork at some point.
Do you do anything special on Sundays to keep time moving?
No, but I do a lot of shopping then. With a houseful of girls, there’s always something that we need, whether it’s accessories (lost hair bows), shoes (torn slippers), stockings (they disappear!), another black skirt, a robe, a brush, or whatever. Anyone can join me, and we get things done while passing the time.
Any cleanup tips you can share?
We don’t do any special cleanup on Sunday besides when it’s pre-Pesach season, which, coincidentally, starts at the beginning of Shevat. So that takes away a quarter of the year’s Sundays.
What
happens when the children whine, “I don’t know what to do”?
I offer suggestions. Sometimes we call a neighbor, and sometimes we send the bored child to play with a cousin the same age. For the most part, my children are content just to be. They lounge around the house, relax, talk on the phone and putter around the snack cabinet.
There you have it — many different opinions and attitudes. Rest assured, there’s someone who regards Sundays the same way you do. Nevertheless, we can all learn something from those who do things differently.
Happy Sunday! And maybe one day soon you’ll be able to call it Funday, too.
SUNDAY NOVEMBER 2 MONDAY NOVEMBER 3
TUESDAY NOVEMBER 4
WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 5
Nurture
Build A Positive Relationship. Respect/Chutzpah. Motivate Ruchniyus. Chores. Sibling Rivalry.
Do you ever have reactions that seem to come from nowhere? Someone makes a casual remark, and you blow up. Or maybe an innocuous gesture triggers a sense of defensiveness. Your reaction doesn’t seem to match the situation, and the people around you — or even yourself — are left thinking, “Where did that come from?”
Or maybe you can relate to the feeling of having not one inner voice, but many — and they all seem to contradict each other. A part of you says, “My diet starts now,” but then another part says, “Let me just have this cake.” Your conscience reminds you to be patient with your kids, but another part of you bypasses that thought, opens your mouth and hollers, “Would everyone stop yelling already?”
You’re not imagining it. You’ve got parts. A whole family of them.
Welcome to your IFS — your Internal Family System.
Your Internal Family
Having all these parts makes life feel complicated. Part of you wants one thing, but other parts want other things! But there’s good news: When you understand your parts, you can work with them. Instead of being full of conflicting feelings, you’ll feel a sense of inner calm that will allow you to navigate your life with serenity and act in ways that align with your highest values. It might sound intimidating, but don’t worry. Even when it feels like you’ve got whole armies of parts buzzing inside of you, they all fit into one of three categories: Exiles, Managers and Firefighters.
Exiles
As a little girl, Sara was bright, easygoing and good-natured. Despite her charm, Sara perceived that her younger sister Gittel attracted much more attention from her parents than she did. They exclaimed over her accomplishments and took a lot of interest in her life. In general, they gave her a lot of time and attention. Sara longed for that same
interest and esteem, but she never felt like she got it. She grew up feeling overlooked and unvalued.
As an adult, Sara has created a meaningful life for herself, but there’s a part inside of her that is still that unseen child. Since Sara, subconsciously, is determined to never again experience the pain of being unseen and unvalued,
her system exiled that feeling.
These parts called EXILES carry old pain that you couldn’t handle at the time, including feelings like shame, helplessness, hopelessness and the sense of being not good enough. How will her system make sure not to feel this pain every again? With the help of other parts, called MANAGERS
Managers
Managers are the boots on the ground. Their job is to protect you from feeling pain that was Exiled, and they take that job very seriously. They’ll triple-check every word you say so you don’t “sound stupid.” They’ll work overtime pleasing the people around you so you don’t get rejected. They’ll deter you from taking risks because it’s “safer that way.” They might even saddle you with chronic headaches so you’ll be too preoccupied to focus on your loneliness or fear.
Sara’s Managers are determined to make sure she won’t ever feel like she isn’t worthy. Her inner Managers implement the following strategies:
Avoiding rejection. Sara’s Managers accomplish this with an “I’m not capable” attitude. If anyone asks Sara’s opinion, she says, “I don’t know, ask someone else.” If she never shares of herself, she’ll never be rejected.
Self-criticism. Sara’s Managers constantly remind her that she wasn’t enough. If she remembers that, she’ll never be let down when others don’t value her.
Self-denial. Sara’s Managers maintain that she doesn’t have any needs. That way she can’t be hurt by others who don’t see or fulfill her needs.
These Managers mean well. And in the moment, they’re effective. They protect Sara. Yet by managing her this way, they create more of what they fear — leaving her feeling unseen.
Except that they also don’t allow her to grow, accomplish, flourish and live her best life.
Firefighters
Those Managers would faithfully do their job forever, but it doesn’t work. Inevitably, the painful feelings they’re trying so hard to prevent are triggered.
After a long day at work and managing the family, Sara is desperate for some adult company. When her husband finally walks through the door, she turns to greet him — only to see him talking on the phone.
“Hi!” he mouths, pointing apologetically at the phone. “I’ll be off in a second.”
Her warm greeting evaporates, and Sara explodes. “You’re always on the phone!” she snaps. “You never talk to me!”
When the Exiles are triggered, and Managers are not successful at preventing the pain, the Firefighters come charging in, sirens blaring and hoses spraying. Their one mission is to put out the fire of pain. Right now. At all costs.
Firefighters may show up as outbursts of anger or snappishness. Other times they take the form of numbing or distraction: overeating, endless scrolling, excessive shopping or even addictions. And sometimes they turn inward as a harsh inner critic, with shameful thoughts or by shutting down completely.
Sara didn’t explode in reaction to her husband being on the phone. She exploded in reaction to all those feelings held by the Exiles. The old pain of being disregarded rose to the surface. Deep
Their job is to protect you from pain, and they take that job very seriously. They’ll triple-check every word you say so you don’t “sound stupid.” They’ll work overtime pleasing the people around you so you don’t get rejected
No Stopping the Firefighters
One year on Erev Pesach, when my house was spotless and ready for the Seder, something started to burn, and the smoke alarm went off. A family member panicked and dialed 911. We tried canceling the call, but it was too late. No less than six firefighters showed up — their coats and gear dripping wet from the pouring rain, big boots caked in mud. We begged, “Please, maybe just one of you come in and check it out, you’ll see it’s nothing.” But there was no negotiating. They swarmed in, moving things out of the way, stomping through every room, and overturning all the perfect Pesach prep just to make sure everything was “safe.” They left behind a wreck with their rescue. Firefighters are on a mission, and there’s no stopping them.
inside, that little girl is still longing for someone to truly see her.
Firefighters mean well, and they are effective — in the moment. Sara was distracted by her anger, and she didn’t have to face her pain. But the problem hasn’t been solved; on the contrary, Sara ended up with even more of the old pain by creating more damage in her life.
In moments of reflection, Sara realizes that her husband meant nothing personal, and was in fact also looking forward to spending time with her at the end of the day.
Sara doesn’t understand her own reactions. Sometimes she wonders if there is any hope for her.
The answer is yes. There is definitely hope.
Bringing IFS into Practice
In IFS, the goal is for the Self — our calm, compassionate core — to lead our internal system. We want Self to be in the driver’s seat of our life, rather than our protectors who are running the show.
When we notice a behavior taking over — something reactive, avoidant or controlling — it’s a sign that a protector part has moved into the driver’s seat and is not letting
us see the situation clearly from Self. When this happens, the first step is to unblend from this protector so we can see it for what it truly is, with Self once again behind the wheel.
Through a gentle process referred to as F1–F6, we begin by unblending and turning toward these protectors with curiosity and compassion instead of judgment. Rather than fighting them for the effect they have on our lives, we learn to befriend them — recognizing that each one has a positive intention. Every protector is simply trying to keep us safe from the pain of old wounds — the Exiles — that were once too much to bear.
As we get to know these protectors, a few questions can help us understand their role:
“What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t make me do this?”
“How are you trying to help me?”
When these questions are asked with genuine curiosity — without frustration or blame — we know that Self is leading the process.
Once we see what a protector is guarding, we can gently turn toward the deeper pain, shame or fear beneath it with love and compassion. In time, this leads to a profound unburdening, where the old emotional weight is released on a somatic level, and the space it occupied is refilled with what was lost — confidence, connection, courage and playfulness.
As protectors relax and trust the Self’s leadership, we gain the freedom to live with clarity, calm and alignment with our true values.
When we notice a behavior taking over —
something reactive, avoidant or controlling
—
it’s a sign that a protector part has moved into the driver’s seat and is not letting us see the situation clearly
You and Him
Self doesn’t just open space for your own healing; it opens space for a connection to Hashem.
When your Firefighters are running wild — yelling, numbing, distracting — it’s almost impossible to feel Hashem’s presence. But when Self leads, the noise quiets. The heart softens. You can sense that you’re not alone.
Take a simple example: You’re about to snap at your child for leaving their stuff all over the floor again. Or maybe you’re about to bash yourself for saying or doing something you wish you hadn’t. Or the anxiety starts to spiral, dragging you into every worst-case scenario your mind can find.
But you pause. You notice the part rising. You breathe and work your way through it. And in that moment, you feel empowered — connected, steady. You feel the quiet, magical power of IFS bringing you back home to yourself.
It’s in those Self-led moments that davening feels more real and gratitude flows more naturally. Even everyday conversations become infused with a little more love and patience.
Because the moment you turn inward with calm, compassion and openness, you’re no longer just reacting. You’re present. You’re aware. You’re connected. And in that stillness, you can feel Hashem’s presence more deeply.
Self at the Wheel
With IFS, you can learn to create a new reality. Instead of the inner chaos of conflicting parts and hiding feelings, you can live with organized self-direction.
After a long day at work and managing the family, Sara is desperate for some adult company. When her husband finally walks through the door, she turns to greet him — only to see him talking on the phone.
“Hi!” he mouths, pointing apologetically at the phone. “I’ll be off in a second.”
This time, there’s a quiet center inside of her that allows Sara to turn toward her Exile and Firefighter with compassion. Now she can show up for her husband with patience and understanding.
That calm presence is you. The real you we call Self.
Self isn’t just another part; it’s your core. When Self leads, the inner chaos dies down. The Managers put down their clipboards, and the Firefighters put down their hoses. Even the Exiles — those tender parts that have been hidden for so long — begin to peek out, ready to be held by you, because you are now finally ready to face them, hold them and heal them.
Self feels different. It’s calm. Clear. Compassionate. Courageous. Connected. And it gives you something magical: choice.
Instead of being hijacked, you can pause, breathe and make smart choices.
When Self leads, you’re no longer running from pain. Managers and Firefighters work overtime to avoid pain, but Self has the courage to turn toward it. That’s what makes healing possible. Challenges that felt impossible still feel challenging, but can be faced with courage and clarity and a sense of “I can do this.”
This calm, secure Self is not a fantasy. It’s who you already are and who you’ve always been, before the shame, before the chaos, before the parts had to take over.
Let your Self lead the way into a life of calm, connection and quiet strength.
Rivky Teitelbaum is a licensed IFS practitioner and Mental Health Counselor who also leads supervision groups and runs a referral program. Her 2025–2026 IFS course begins on November 4, 2025, available in person and via Zoom or phone. To listen to a free class or to register, please call 845-470-5535.
Taught by master teacher
Chava Schneider
With 25+ years of experience, Chava has guided countless girls and women to feel confident and discover their creativity through music.
Go from zero to kumzitz!
Guitar Course
• 10 self-paced video lessons (15 Hours)
• Learn 11 chords + 5 strumming patterns
Long, unstructured Sundays can be so hard to fill — but not anymore! Take your Sundays from “endless” to “amazing” with these great activities.
“There’s nothing to do!” something
T. GREEN
These easy, fun and original activities will turn Sundays into your favorite day of the week.
Paint and Seal
Get ready for an amazing art adventure. This fun project combines painting and collage into something greater than the sum of its parts.
Supplies
Canvas Painbrush
Paint in a variety of colors
Napkins of your choice
Scissors
Mod-Podge (or runny Elmer’s glue thinned with a bit of water)
Instructions
Step 1: Paint the canvas with multiple colors.
Step 2: Let the surface dry completely.
Step 3: Cut out designs from the napkins of your choice.
Step 4: Position your cutouts on the canvas.
Step 5: Use a paintbrush or your finger to apply Mod-Podge or glue to the back of your napkin cutouts. Place them onto your canvas, then gently brush over the top of the cutouts with more Mod-Podge or glue to seal it and create a beautiful, glossy finish.
Step 7: (Optional) Add some rhinestones for a finishing touch.
Step 8: Let your masterpiece dry, and hang it with pride!
Same fun techniques, more ideas!
Choose your favorite character, and create your own masterpiece.
Add your name to the canvas to make the design more personal.
Paint and design canvas magnets, and hang them on the fridge to make your day brighter!
COMING NEXT WEEK: CLAY ACTIVITIES
TheBoroPark
back-to-schoolcontest success set4
View’s
Hey Kids!
Yom Tov’s over, the weather’s cool
For real this time, we’re back to school
So settle in and try your best
To make this school year a success
The greatest help, we know for sure
Is to start each day the night before
If you need a boost, we’ll help you start
All students welcome to take part
And while only two will win the prize
You will find to your great surprise
That this small change will spawn much more And help you to succeed and soar!
“ Chana needs help with her homework.”
“Rivky’s bathwater is running. I better get to her.”
“Oh my - I forgot to buy the Rosh Chodesh treat I promised them.”
“We need milk and bread before the morning.”
“I must call back Moshe’s Rebbe before it gets too late again. It’s important.”
You’re juggling it all — the kids, the house, the schedules, the moods, the appointments. You keep it together, constantly giving, constantly managing But you’re exhausted. You’re tired of carrying it all.
This is for you: FIRST TIME EVER LIVE FREE WORKSHOP
Get the tools to transform the resentment into satisfying, relieving partnership, where the burden is evenly shared.
וטסייוו טצעי
יד ןזייוו סאוו
OH WELL, WE ALREADY FOUND THE TREASURE THAT WAS THERE, SO THIS DOESN’T HELP ME MUCH.
THE LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK… YES, HERE IT IS. YOU CAN SEE THE LAND SKETCH AGAIN.
THE WHOLE AREA THAT —
WHY DOES THIS JOAQUÍN EVEN NEED MY MONEY? HE PRACTICALLY OWNS HALF OF BUENOS AIRES, INCLUDING THE PRISON GROUNDS AND LAND HE LEASES TO THE ARGENTINE GOVERNMENT.
WAIT A SECOND! WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?
WHAT DID MY GREATGRANDFATHER WRITE THERE?
“ONLY MY JEWISH DESCENDANTS MAY DWELL ON MY LAND… THE SECRET LIES IN SURINAME.”
RECAP: PEDRO MORENO IS ON THE RUN, ESCAPING FROM PRISON WARDEN JOAQUÍN. HE STUMBLES ACROSS HIDDEN PAGES IN HIS GRANDFATHER’S JOURNAL… AND A MYSTERIOUS MAP OF HIS AND THE RUBINOVS’ HOUSES.
BUT… HOW CAN THAT BE? IS IT POSSIBLE THAT —
OH, WOW! SURINAME! I FOUND THE ANSWER!
JOAQUÍN WILL BE SO PLEASED.
AND WE FOUND YOU, PEDRO.
HA, YOU MISSED!
THWAC K!
BOGGLE TOURNAMENT
HOW TO PLAY:
1. Gather round the table to play a family game of Boggle, using this Boggle board.
2. Once you have a winner, fill out the form below in its entirety
3. Email the form to comments@ thebpview.com or fax to 718-4088771 by Sunday at midnight.
4. Two winners will be drawn each week, each of whom will receive a $15 gift card at Judaica Corner!
PLAYING RULES:
Find words on the board containing four letters or more. Letters of a word must be connected in a chain (each letter should be adjacent to the next either vertically, horizontally or diagonally), and each letter can only be used once in a given word. The following are not allowed in Boggle: Adding “s” to a word • Proper nouns • Abbreviations • Contractions • Acronyms
Each Boggle board hides a word of nine letters or more!
S G H F E B V I O D O E C H U P R A O M R N L T A
Family name:
Full mailing address:
Full name of winner: _________________________________________________________
Amount of points:
Full names of competing players:
List some words only the winner found:
WINNER 1
FAMILY NAME: Horowitz, 718-xxx-9323
NAME OF WINNER: Yocheved
AMOUNT OF POINTS: 24
NAMES OF COMPETING PLAYERS: Mommy
SOME WORDS ONLY THE WINNER FOUND: crab, made, large
THE LONGEST WORD FOUND ON THE BOARD: abuse
A NEW WORD LEARNED FROM THE BOARD: pried
WINNER 2
FAMILY NAME: Mermelstein, 718-xxx-7530
NAME OF WINNER: Mommy
AMOUNT OF POINTS: 33
NAMES OF COMPETING PLAYERS: Gitty
SOME WORDS ONLY THE WINNER FOUND: pried, pier, slot, rage
THE LONGEST WORD FOUND ON THE BOARD: pierce A NEW WORD LEARNED FROM THE BOARD: garb
Thank you to the hundreds of readers who sent in beautifully colored pages! Keep coloring!
Chana
Toby Einhorn, 10
Roizy Neufeld, Bobov 45
Blimi
Russ, 11, Belz
Rivky Horowitz, 8, Bnos
Bobov
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Newly renovated house for sale by owner, 3 bedrooms, 3 bath, 8,000 square ft lot, walking distance to all shuls, asking 759K. 954-394-9778
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Luxurious vacation properties for short-term rentals in the Monsey area. Some with POOLS. can accommodate 18 to 150 guests, ideal for large families, Shabbatons, and more.. ASK US ABOUT OUR WINTER SPECIAL Great Minds 845-520-3250.
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MIAMI VILLA
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Completely renovated private villa w/private heated pool, STRICTLY KOSHER, 2-Bedrooms, 2-full Bathrooms, walking distance to shul and beach. For reservations Email Bocapalmsvilla@gmail.com or call 929-784-8472
MIAMI BEACH
2 bedroom 2 bath kosher apt on Indian Creek & 34 st 5th floor. Fully equipped 2 wks min 917-848-6851
APT FOR RENT
19/ 52 brand new spacious 1 BR bsmt, light, high ceilings G/E included. Chosson / Kallah. call/text 3479485701
HELP WANTED
KESHER/YELED
V`YALDA BORO PARK
Hiring girls to work with children with additional needs in a busy, warm environment. Mon–Thurs. 3:00 pm-4:30 pm (option to continue till later) Paid via ABA Insurance. High School Diploma required. Please Call or Message: 347-9464506
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Work with a child from your community with additional needs, after school/on weekends $25- $30 an hour based on experience. Paid via ABA Insurance. Please call or message 347.946.4506 Email: smarkovic@yeled.org
SUNDAY TEACHERS
Exceptional Opportunity. Seeking Certified Teachers with New York State Certification Sundays 10 AM-1 PM. Boro Park location, call: 718.686.2415
ASSOCIATE TEACHER
Chasidish special ed girls school in B.P. seeking an associate teacher for 1st grade. Great Pay! Email resume to info@bpeninim. org
JOBS AVAILABLE
Part-time & Full-time jobs available. Email TopPartTimeJobs@ gmail.com
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Seeking F/T secretary until 6:00 PM including Sundays. Candidate should be detail oriented, able to multi-task & have organizational skills. Email jobinbp679@gmail. com.
EXPERIENCED SALESPERSON
For Electrical & lighting supplies co. No car necessary, commission only. Top $$ paid, male or female, work from home, partnership opportunities available. Call: 212.662.1300
WORK FROM HOME
Great opportunity to manage your own business from home. No experience needed, no computer necessary. Huge potential to grow big. Call: 438.529.1216
THE JOB YOU’RE LOOKING FOR!
Want to have money flow into your pocket? Call/text 845324-5182
ABA OPENING
Excellent ABA opening in heart of Boro Park. From 12:30 PM-4:30 PM or at some point till 7:00 PM. Excellent pay, great environment. Please call for more info. : 917.968.2292
RN POSITION IN STATEN ISLAND!
Looking for a part-time RN for a Childcare Facility. Must be a Registered Nurse, and Must have good computer skills. Ability to work with young children and parents. Excellent communication and interpersonal skills. Please email resume to: mrosin@yeled.org
ABA
Incredible 2:30 PM - 4:30 PM ABA opening for woman Boro Park 38th &13th Ave. Excellent training, competitive pay. Call: 917.968.2292
ABA OPENING FOR WOMEN
Women’s ABA Jobs in Boro Park Full-Time & Afternoon Shifts 2:30–5:30 PM. Quick hiring process. Call 917.968.2292 or email: HRrecruitmentNY@gmail. com
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DRIVERS
HCS is looking to hire drivers with driving experience for mini busses. No CDL license required. Please email your resume to transportation@ hcsny.org or call 718-854-2747 ext. 1110
SEEKING THERAPISTS - PT
Chayeinu Academy is seeking full/part time PT to join our growing therapy team! Please submit resume to info@ chayeinuacademy.org or call 718-303-9170.
CLINICAL SUPERVISOR – CHILDREN’S WAIVER PROGRAM
Join our dynamic team as a Clinical Supervisor in the Children’s Waiver Program! In this role, you’ll provide clinical oversight and develop individualized, goal-driven service plans that are both effective and easy for Direct Support Professionals (DSPs) to implement. Ideal candidates will have a strong understanding of the Children’s Waiver, excellent communication skills, and a passion for supporting children with behavioral challenges. Candidates must have an LSCW or an LMSW. Great work Environment! Full benefits include health insurance, paid time off and retirement plans. For more information or to apply please send in your resume to Jobs@hcsny.org or call 718854-2747 ext. 1175
CAN YOU PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?
Use your talent to help a child from your community and gain teaching experience. Hiring a Yungerman to spend a few hours a week with a boy teaching music. $45 an hour. Requires BA degree (Most Talmudic BA’s accepted) Paid via CFTSS insurance-Yeled V’Yalda. To apply please call: 347.946.4506
PART TIME OPPORTUNITY IN SEAGATE
Seeking a post–high school provider to work with a sweet 8-year-old boy with special needs in Seagate. Hours: Monday–Thursday, 5:30–8 PM, with flexible Friday and Sunday hours. Pay: $25–$30/ hr, paid via ABA insurance, Yeled V’Yalda. To apply, please call: 347.946.4506
AFTER-HOURS
OPPORTUNITY BORO PARK
Hiring a responsible post–high school girl to work with a sweet child with special needs. Hours: Monday–Thursday, 5–7 PM. Pay: $25–$30/hour. Paid via ABA insurance, Yeled V’Yalda. To apply, please call: 347.946.4506
LONG TERM SUB
A Heimishe playgroup looking for long term sub for a baby class starting Nov. Please call 718-437-7261 ext 306
Camera repair service
repair Canon, Sony and Nikon Cameras and Lenses.
718-633-3331 | Shocked Electronics 209 Ditmas Ave, Brooklyn NY 11218 shockedelectronics.com | shockedelectronics@gmail.com Open Monday to Friday
JOB OPPORTUNITY
Seeking paraprofessionals in BP, Flatbush and Staten Island during and after school hours. No Degree needed. For more info please call 718-408-8939 or email resume: info@ flyingcolorsaba.com
RENT COLLECTION
Real Estate Office Seeking responsible person for collections only — in-office (not remote). No other work required. Flexible hours jobs@eppmgmt.com
AFTER HOURS
OPPORTUNITY IN STATEN ISLAND
Hiring a responsible post–high school girl to work with a sweet child with special needs in a heimishe Staten Island neighborhood. Hours: Monday–Thursday, 5–7 PM. (some weekend hours possible) Pay: $25–$30/hr. Paid via ABA insurance, Yeled V’Yalda. To apply, please call: 347.946.4506
SECRETARY POSITION IN BORO PARK
Yeled V’Yalda Early Head Start is looking for a highly-motivated secretary to perform numerous general office, computer related, administrative and receptionist duties. Great work environment and generous PTO. Email resume: ehsjob@yeled.org
SECRETARY
BP Real Estate Office secretary. Capable, Computer savvy. Pleasant Environment, Great Potential! Fridafrankel@gmail.com 3475783955
JOB OFFER
Looking for a part-time employee for a credit card processing company, remote position with flexible hours, great pay with potential for growth. Experience working for a credit card processing company is a must. Email resume: info@ savesolutionsnj.com
CARE MANAGER
Champion is looking to hire a part-time heimish care manager to handle bucherim’s caseloads. BA degree required. Experience in Care Management preferred. Email resumes to Jobs@hcsny.org or call 718854-2747 ext. 1167
RESPITE PROGRAM
Fit with Friends respite program seeks responsible, energetic counselors to join the Sunday program, filled with fun trips, engaging workshops, and delicious lunches. Boro Park, great pay! Receive a bonus when you sign up with a friend! Contact 347-786-2666 (leave a message if no answer) or email Ebdresdner@ hamaspikkings.org
Classifieds
EZER MIZION
is looking to hire girls to assist with our upcoming Chinese Auction. Boro Park office. Basic computer knowledge. Morning, or afternoon shifts. Perfect for teachers! Call 718-853-8400 between 9am - 12pm or email office@ezermizionusa.org
EVENING OPPORTUNITY
Great evening opportunity for graduates or seminary student! Seeking efficient secretary for an extracurricular program for young women with special needs. Must be able to manage the office and pay attention to detail. Proficient in Canva a plus! If you have a creative side we’d love to hear from you! Mondays & Wednesdays, 4:30-7:30 OR Tuesday & Thursday 6:308:30. Pick the shift that works for you. Enjoy great pay and a positive atmosphere. Call 718.302.3333 ext. 5218 (leave a message) or email hlang@ hamaspikkings.org
AFTER SCHOOL RESPITE PROGRAM
Fit with Friends after-school respite program seeks capable, responsible group leader. Perfect for high school graduates. Experience with special needs a must! 7:008:30. Enjoy great pay and a positive atmosphere. Call 718.302.3333 ext. 5218 (leave a message) or email hlang@ hamaspikkings.org
ZUMBA INSTRUCTOR
Join our Fit with Friends Program as a Zumba instructor! We are on the lookout for an enthusiastic girl to help us choreograph our dance and exercise classes! This opportunity is ideal for recent high school graduates or seminary students. Call 718.302.3333 ext. 5218 (leave message) or email hlang@ hamaspikkings.org
HOBBY HOUSE
Hobbyhouse paint studio in BP has position available. F/T P/T. If you’re creative and have a great personality call 845-608-0161
JOB OPPORTUNITY
Have HR/recruiting experience? Earn $65K+ parttime & $100k+ for full-time! Email ProRecruiterNY@ gmail.com to apply.
EARLY PROGRAM COUNSELOR
Fit with Friends is looking for a dedicated and responsible early program counselor to work with a small group of high-functioning special needs girls. Your role will involve assisting with homework, engaging in enjoyable activities, and fostering a positive atmosphere! Tuesdays or Thursdays 3:30-5:00. Call 718.302.3333 ext. 5218 (leave message) or email hlang@ hamaspikkings.org
QUALITY ASSURANCE MANAGER
HCS is looking to hire a Quality Assurance (QA) Manager to join our team. The QA Manager will be responsible for ensuring departmental compliance with Department of Health (DOH) regulations and internal policies by implementing structured quality assurance systems and maintaining documentation standards. The candidate will be responsible for addressing and resolving any questions, document submissions and accuracy clearly and promptly. Great work Environment! Full benefits include health insurance, paid time off and retirement plans. For more information or to apply please send in your resume to Jobs@hcsny.org.
SPECIAL NEEDS COUNSELORS
Haktanim is seeking fun-loving, responsible candidates to be counselors for a group of adorable young children with special needs. Mon to Thurs 3:30-5 or Sun 11:30-3:30. Great pay and heimishe environment. Email Lzaidman@ hamaspikkings.org or call 718-302-3333 ext. 5450 (leave a message)
AFTERNOON TEACHER
Seeking an afternoon teacher for a young toddler group. 917-960-0126
UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY!
Looking for fulfillment on Sundays? Chasiddish daycare seeking highly qualified and devoted teachers to join our Sunday program. Call 9175335679.
SECRETARIAL POSITION
Busy Catering company seeking a secretary. Sunday -Thursday, 40 hours a week, flexible. Remote position. Call/text 917-202-1413
SUNDAY TEACHER
Heimishe playgroup looking for Sunday teacher starting immediately. Small Class. 10:30-1:45. Please call 646.413.2039.
SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS
Bais Yaakov of Boro Park is seeking substitute teachers for pre-school and grades 1-8 A.M. & P.M. Please call Mrs. Weinman (917)331-3714.
FIELD SALES REP
Seeking a driven Field Sales Representative to expand our managed care presence in Downstate NY. Build community relationships, connect seniors to essential coverage, and support enrollment. Ideal for a people-focused, persuasive professional with a passion for outreach and growth. Apply at jobs@ hamaspikchoice.org.
FRIDAY TEACHER
Seeking teacher for Fridays in playgroup 718-854-1092
TEACHER FOR BABYSITTING ROOM
Chassidishe School seeking a teacher for babysitting room and an assistant for pre nursery Please call 718871-7878 Ext 114 and leave a message.
Treat your guests to an elegant milchig Sheva Brochos. Package includes appetizer, choice of soup, choice of main dish, sides and dessert.
For more information call 718-436-0808 ext. 3
Now offering full-service events in our venue or catered in your home Brissim, Sheva Brachos, Vach Nacht, Melaveh Malkah and more.
Classifieds
BABYSITTER IN KENSINGTON
Warm loving babysitter with over 20 years experience. Kensington. No vouchers 917-753-5159
VOUCHERS BABYSITTING
Full time care. 12th and 45. References available, We help redeem lost voucher cases 929-5852257.
BABYSITTER
Experienced heimishe babysitter. 47th street btwn 16 &15. Friday & late hours available (Accepting only Fridays as well). Many references available. Call 929-214-3384
TODDLER GROUP
One slot available in a cozy private toddler group, for 18 m old. Located by 19/59, call 3475870474
BABYSITTER
Warm heimish loving babysitter. Many years experience! Many happy parents! Newborns are welcome! 16&47. Call 347405-2072
BABYSITTER
Looking for warm loving babysitter in my house from 3:15-4:30 15&16 and 55 call 917-680-6364
VOUCHERS
BABYSITTING GROUP
On 18th & 50th has one slot available. Small group with experienced heimishe Morah 347-988-2169
BABYSITTER
Heimishe babysitter available area of 15th/59th, Full time & drop ins. Please call 917847-5495
SERVICES
LIGHT ALTERATIONS
Please Call: 718.450.4700
PRENATAL YOGA
Ease aches, calm anxiety, prepare for labor, learn more! Text PRENATAL YOGA to 5039615609 to inquire
MAKEUP ARTIST
Certified makeup artist for all your special occasions. Call: Yides Neuwirth 917.309.6000 or 718.858.0815
MR. WERTZBERGER’S RENTALS
We rent out wireless wi-fi, tablets, laptops, clarinets, violins. Prices are between $13-$25 per week. Clarinet and violin comes with free MP3 lessons in Yiddish or English. We also offer private keyboard lessons on the phone. Call hotline 718-4351923
GARTLECH
We fix knitted & crochet Gartlech & make beautiful professional fringes. We also teach how to knit & crochet. call: 917-414-3281
HANDYMAN & ELECTRICIAN
Electrician, plumber, sewer service, Carpentry, sheetrock, locks, etc. 718.9510090
All Electrical work, outlets, switches, fixtures, new lines for washer/dryer or a/c, shabbos clocks, circut breakers. 718.951-0090
HANDYMAN & PAINTING
Experienced & Reliable handyman. Small jobs our specialty! Plumbing, Electric, construction, Locksmith, painting, plastering. Shabbos clocks, outlets/switches, call: 347.275.5408
PHOTO EDITING
Professional photo editing, many years of experience. Special rate for photographers. Also specializing in Custom photo albums, Chosson, wedding, etc. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153
AYIN HORAH
The renowned Rebetzin Aidel Miller from Yerushalayim Is now available to remove “Ayin Horah” over the phone. Call: 718.689.1902 or 516.300.1490
BEAUTIFUL HANDMADE GARTLECH
Hand crochet, Hand knit, Silks & more with beautiful Gartel bag. Text or call: 718.283.4589 Wholesale orders available.
FURNITURE REPAIRS
Furniture, Cabinet & General Repairs, specializing in Chosson-Kallah Apartments. Call: 718.633.6231
NEW WEBSITE?
Get your new beautiful website done hassle free! Affordable pricing! Satisfaction guaranteed! Email: sales@ stratadigitalgroup.com
WHOLESALE FISH
Buy by the case & save. Baby & Regular Salmon. Hashgucha Volove Rav. Free delivery to your home. Call Eli: 516-270-6755
PHOTO ALBUMS
Specializing in Custom Photo Albums, Chosson, Wedding, etc. Also professional Photo Editing, many years of experience. Special rate for photographers. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153
VAN FOR RENT
Refrigerated van for rent daily or weekly with or without a driver. Call or Text: Eli 516.270.6755
CUSTOM PHOTO ALBUMS
We specialize in custom Photo Albums, Chosson, Wedding, etc. Also professional Photo Editing, many years of experience. Special rate for photographers. Call: 347.563.5153
FREE WEEKLY DRAWING
Win free music lessons for one year! Call hotline 718435-1923
HANDYMAN/PROF CARPENTER
Repair all cabinets, Table & chairs, doors, locks, hinges, tracks, drawers, blinds, shelves, bookcases & furniture assembling and cutting, hang pic frames & more, free est, warranty on service, 917-704-3514
YEHUDA
PROFESSIONAL COACH
Heal your life. Heal your body. Heal your past. Experienced. Successful. Personable. Expertise in anxiety, panic and trauma. Mrs. Esty Frank 7188518636
PERSONAL LIFE COACH
Enhance relationships, eliminate barriers in your interactions with others, achieve clarity and confidence when making decisions, and so much more. 16+ years of experience in guiding clients to emotional success. Bruchy Greenfeld 845-659-1848.
ROWENTA REPAIRS
Expert repairs on Rowenta steam stations. Reasonable prices. Fast service. Located in boro park. Call 646-2613809
PHOTOGRAPHY
For all your photography needs! (Portrait, Family, Upsherin, Baby, etc.) Many props avail! Great rates! Photos by Devorah 929-3274621
Classifieds
ROOM DIVIDER
We make WALL to split existing room and make second bedroom. It includes regular or sliding door. We also install plastic ACCORDION partitions that fully fold to one or both sides. LIGHT-fixture+switch+outlet in new room. Call/Text:929430-7551 /646-288-0185. E-mail:roomdividers11219@ gmail.com
WOOD REPAIR
Professional transformation to ur kitchen cabinets thru design & color chg. Also revamp, repair estate furn, drm chairs, bdrms, libraries, & ext wood doors. Best price, svc & decorators consult txt or call 212-991-8548.
RESUME WRITER
Need a great work resume? Resumes are what we do! All levels including new-grad and experienced. Call/text 845-554-5778 or email info@ resumakerpro.com
GARTEL FRINGES
We make professional gartel fringes and mend gartelach. Same day service. In the heart of BP. (347) 693-4920 or (718)435-7644
DRIVER AVAILABLE
Driver with many years exp. available to do long distance trips with brand new minivan. Reasonable rates. 917.405.8469
PHOTOGRAPHY
Capture fall colors as long as they last! Outdoor photography sessions, call 9295610744.
ATTENTION BAL SIMCHA
Making a Simcha? Need Peklach for your Oifrif/ Vach Nach / Upsherin etc. Order from us and Support the Special Needs at Wholesale Price. Please text 7185411538
SPRINTER & MINI VAN SERVICE
Heimishe driver available to do deliveries. Local & long distance, we shlep with a smile! Call: 718.951.0090
OPWDD JOB TRAINING
Let your Son Gain knowledge, understanding and experience at our Full Day Job Training Center in a real work / office environment, conveniently located in BP, ages 17+. Please call 718-5411538 To see if your son in eligible.
VAN SERVICE
Yossi`s Van Service 15 Passenger van Local & long distance Airports & delivery. Call: 718.962.4664
PHOTO ALBUMS
Let’s create a stunning album customized for you! Order your album today for special rates! Baby, Tnoyim, Wedding Call 347-452-6228
ODDS & ENDS
FREE GIVEAWAY!
Master Bedroom Dresser & Night Table in good condition to give away. Call/text (718) 306-9906
SAW A YESHUAH
I did the segula of ןב
and saw a yeshua.
GOWNS
EVENING GOWN
Mother/ sister of Bride off white gown. Designers sleeveless A-line dress with partial beaded swing jacket. Approx size 8. pls Call or text. 917.841.2623 picture available.
WHITE GOWN
Looking to sell a size 2-4 white gown for sister of the bride, Please call 347 628 9586
OFF WHITE GOWNS FOR SALE
Sister of the bride, 3 custom elegant offwhite gowns, fit is tall and slim. Email pics available. Text 646-436-2321.
CHILDRENS GOWNS
Pretty childrens gowns, black with a bit of Gold, sizes 5,6, and 7 for sale for great price! Call 347-587-0474
LOST
Yellow Gold diamond bracelet few years ago 347-668-2219
black dress in bag on Y”T. call 718-5413665
Diamond earring in BP on Simchas Torah 718-757-1351
gold/diamond bracelet on simchas Torah in Lakewood or on 48 st in boropark. 718 438 1844
white small teddy bear call /text 718-9284964
bag of lulu clothes before Rosh Hashana 347-524-9746
Diamond ring in area of 44th b/w 14 & 16, 908-907-0280
oct 20 yellow gold bracelet in evening in front of essen ny deli on 1108 east 8’th street 718-331-4990
FOUND
Bracelet end of second half 39th b/w 14/15, 929-498-1991
key ring with 5 keys and a keychain on 49th Street and New Utrecht several weeks ago 917-524-9735
Puffer jacket - Blue size 4-6 exchanged at Iplay America Chol Hamoed 10/12/2025, 347-432-5389
Grey baby jacket in Prospect park Pesach Chol Hamoed 917-588-7955
Black velvet girls Shabbos Shoes in Luna Park Chol Hamoed placed at the Luna Park lost & Found 347-816-5590
Imitation Doona stroller in the 14th & 52nd area (looks like it was stolen from a storage room) 347-798-3657.
diamond bracelet on Simchas Torah. Bedfored-Penn Area call/text 347-8344152
Mistakenly took a GB coat size 20x coat last February. 61st and 17th area. 347-6301307
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BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO PUSH THROUGH LIFE.
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