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If
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THOUGH IT'S NOT MARKED ON THE BOTTLE
Change your thoughts, so your emotions don’t control you.
Shefa isn’t just about money. But it starts there, because money brings up everything. Then it goes deeper.
Join now. workshop Begins: Monday, November 3 Early Bird Special: Register by September 29 and save.
Yom Tov is around the corner. Have you shopped Princess?
(Re: Tragic Destination, Inbox, Issue 018)
Someone wrote that she saw a non-Jewish nurse or babysitter taking a Yiddishe child to pray with her, which is very heartbreaking. I recently saw a child licking an ice cream from the non-kosher ice cream truck that stopped by the park. I assume the child was a Yid because I saw a shopping bag from a frum store in the basket under the stroller. I’m just spreading awareness that it’s important to know where your child’s nurse is going and what they’re doing every minute, so that we can raise ehrliche generations, b’ezras Hashem. Name Withheld
(Re: Lab vs. Mined, Inbox, Issue 018)
In the conversation about lab grown diamonds versus mined diamonds, an Inbox writer recently informed readers that the local stores are charging $400 to $500 for lab grown diamonds while they can be purchased from wholesalers in the diamond district for about $150.
While every consumer has the right to pursue better prices elsewhere, I feel that the letter writer undermined our trusted, local proprietors and made it seem like they’re raking it in while the customer blindly overpays, while disregarding the real and important benefits these stores offer us.
I am the privileged shopper of local jewelry stores, which for years
have provided me and fellow shoppers with outstanding service.
On Erev Pesach, I realized my son’s engagement was imminent and might very well happen on Chol Hamoed. Where would I get a bracelet during Yom Tov? I timidly asked a local jewler what he thinks I should do. Before I finished my request, he instructed his sales help to wrap up three bracelets for me to take home “just in case.” When I asked how much to pay, he said, “Well, you don’t know which one you’ll take, so how can you pay? We’ll talk after Yom Tov.” All this transpired quietly, quickly and discreetly while the store was jam-packed with Erev Yom Tov shoppers, because all the employees understood the need for secrecy.
The very same people who buy their diamonds from wholesalers often instruct the kallah to check her ring size at a local jewelry store. While the proprietors know good and well that many of these rings will not be purchased in this store, they give each kallah their full attention, playing around with various ring sizes until they find the right one. This often takes place when the store is full of eager shoppers.
I’m sure there are many readers who can add their own anecdotes to this list of selfless giving and years of dedication and loyalty.
Thank you so much for allowing me to express my long overdue appreciation to these stores who so deserve it.
(Re: Lab vs. Mined, Inbox, Issue 018)
I really enjoyed the debate on lab versus mined diamonds. Recently, I gave in my jewelry to assess its value, as I got very expensive jewelry as a kallah (with lots of diamonds). I was very
disappointed that it was only assessed at the value of the gold. Unfortunately, the small diamonds, though real, are worth nothing. For anyone out there who buys jewelry with consideration of its future value, it’s a pity to spend money on real diamonds smaller than 1.20 carat. For now, I’d buy jewelry I like, not as an investment. The price of gold keeps going up, and I think this makes the most sense.
N.M.
(Re: Saved by the Comb, Issue 018)
I really enjoyed your feature on lice checking. Unfortunately, I have very personal experience with it myself, as well as with my children. I can still remember standing still for hours and hours as my mother removed louse after louse from my hair. I was obviously very prone to it. Eventually, she came up with a solution: I’d blow dry my hair close to my scalp on the highest number tolerable. That instantly killed all of them, and instead of a two-hour-long process, it became a fifteen-minute process.
My own young children take after me in this respect. My two daughters already had lice countless times. I don’t want to take anyone’s business away, but there is an alternative to picking out each one. There’s a product found in health food stores or pharmacies called Lice Freee (three E’s). It’s homeopathic, without chemicals, and works wonders. You simply wet the child’s entire head — all the hair all the way to the scalp — with this spray. Then you put on a bathing cap and let the child sleep with it overnight. In the morning, all you have to do is wash the child’s head really well until the smell goes away. It kills everything — all the lice and nits. I have used it at least ten times in the past seven years. Some
of the nits may stay in the hair, dead, but they will never hatch and will eventually fall out.
Before you spend a lot of money or time cleaning your child’s head, this product is definitely worth a try. Many a mother has thanked me for this advice.
Esty I.
(Re: Give or Take, Issue 017)
I would like to thank Chanie Spira for her fantastic serial Give or Take. The story was so well done, it was the first thing I read every week. I am looking forward to more amazing content by this gifted writer.
I would also like to add that I needed a big yeshuah, so I did the segulah of Reb Masya ben Charash and promised to publicize it when I received a yeshuah. I am writing this letter to keep my promise; baruch Hashem, I saw tremendous siyata d’Shmaya
Thank you!
Name Withheld
(Re: POV, Issue 017)
There is no “point of view” when it comes to wearing seatbelts.
Be the adult in the room, and make sure your kids know that seatbelts are nonnegotiable. Your kids’ safety is your responsibility. This means that just like you don’t give them knives or matches to play with, and you don’t let them ride their bikes down the middle of a main street, you should not let them ride in the car without wearing seatbelts.
Seatbelts aren’t about convenience; they are a matter of life and death.
Don’t believe me? Ask your nearest Hatzolah guy what he thinks.
A yearly eye exam can make all the di erence for your child’s success.
Sometimes it’s something simple, like an updated prescription, that can turn frustration into focus and confusion into con dence.
Our skilled providers are here to detect and correct even the smallest issues before they a ect learning.
Joel M. Arbisser, MD
Ilana B. Friedman, MD
Joel H. Warshowsky, OD
Keith Beylus, OD
Rebecca Charlop, OD
Zvi Berger, OD
Esther Cynamon, OD
Liana Rivkin, OD
Esther Gurell, OD
IF
I don’t always wake up for the early buses. However, I teach my kids to take responsibility for waking up early and being ready for their buses. As for the younger kids, I do wait for the bus with them. Some of my kids don’t want me to wait with them, so I stay at the window to give them that feeling of independence.
My husband wakes up early for my bochurim, and waits for their bus with them.
I would really love to wake up early for my big boys, but I usually don’t. They wake me up to tell me that they’re leaving so I can wish them
“a gitten tug” and “hatzlacha.”
My kids are still young, and I wait for their buses with them. The bus tracking system makes for a calmer morning and a shorter wait.
I wake up early with my twelve-year-old son. It wasn’t easy in the beginning, but I came to appreciate the few minutes I have alone with him — we drink coffee and talk. Once he leaves, I have a couple of minutes for myself before all the other kids wake up. I sometimes accomplish more in that half hour in the morning than all afternoon.
Baruch Hashem, my bochur wakes up on his own with an alarm clock. Every few days, I leave him a small note and hide it either in his bag or among his clothes while he sleeps.
I don’t get up early for my bochurim, although I think it’s an admirable thing to do.
The year my boys start going to Shacharis, we wait together at the corner for the bus. My bochurim (of whom some are already yungeleit) still remember the hot coffees we enjoyed on those frigid mornings when the wind would be whipping our faces. Those were the best times.
Most of my boys didn’t use bus transportation as they were growing up. However, from when they started attending Shacharis, I prepared some hot cocoa powder in a cup and taught them how much hot water and milk to add so they would have a warm drink before heading out.
I try to be up and around when my children leave the house, but sometimes it ends with good intentions only. As for waiting for the bus, I do this for as long as my kids want me to, but at a certain point, it’s no longer necessary (and sometimes even embarrassing!).
Unfortunately, I do not wake up for my bochurim; it’s too hard for me at this stage, when I wake a few times a night to care for the little ones. I hope to do it when my babies grow up.
I get up early to help my son get ready for his bus, but I don’t wait outside for his bus with him.
To receive the POV question in your inbox every week, send an email to pov@thewview.com with the word “subscribe” in the subject line.
Ad deadline for the Rosh Hashanah Issue is Friday, September 19 at 12:30pm
Y.
The parsha begins: “Atem nitzavim hayom kulchem” — You are all standing today before Hashem, the leaders of your shevatim, your elders, your officials and every Jewish man ( Devarim 29:9).
Rashi explains that Moshe Rabbeinu gathered Klal Yisroel just before his petirah in order to have them enter a bris with Hashem.
The next pasuk continues to delineate categories of people – your children, women and geirim — and concludes: “From your woodcutter to your water carrier.”
This, Rashi says, teaches us that there were Canaanim who came to be megayer in those days and that Moshe Rabbeinu accepted them, but he appointed them to manual labor, such as woodcutting and water-drawing.
If the pasuk says “every Jewish man,” why does it need to go on to list all sorts of people? Why does the Torah specifically mention the woodcutters and water carriers? If these geirim are considered Yidden, they are already included in the original list.
RECENTLY, Reb Nachum Rappaport of Bnei Brak was invited to serve as kohen at a pidyon haben in Tel Aviv. He was told the event would begin at 9 o’clock in the evening at a century-old shul in a corner of town. Knowing that such occasions usually start late, he planned to leave Bnei Brak in time to get there by 9:30 p.m.
The plan was a good one, but Reb Nachum hit traffic on the way. There were major protests taking place on the streets, and traffic was at a standstill. Ten minutes turned into twenty, and he felt bad causing everyone at the simcha to wait for him. He called the father of the baby periodically to update him and apologize.
It was 10:30 p.m. by the time he finally arrived at the shul.
He expected to follow the sounds of a crowd leading him into the hall, but when he walked in, he was surprised to find just four people: the baby’s father and mother, his grandfather, and the baby himself.
The baal simcha welcomed Reb Nachum and asked, “Is it necessary according to halacha to have a minyan at the pidyon?”
Reb Nachum explained that while it is not required, there is certainly a matter of “b’rov am,” of celebrating publicly, especially since this is a rare, special mitzvah.
The father’s face fell. He explained that he had grown up in Tel Aviv, in a barely affiliated home, but lives today in Kiryat Sefer. “If I would have made the pidyon haben in Kiryat Sefer, I would have had a few minyanim, but my father asked me to bring the simcha to his shul, where he davens here in Tel Aviv.” He sighed. “What a shame I’m not doing it in Kiryat Sefer! Who knows if I’ll be able to find a minyan here!”
“Don’t think this way,” Reb Nachum replied. “Performing the pidyon haben with a minyan is hiddur mitzvah, but kibbud av is a d’Oraisa! There’s no doubt that it is preferable for you to combine the mitzvah of kibbud av with this simcha.”
The man still didn’t look happy. He wanted to do the mitzvah with the most hiddur possible. “Would you mind waiting while I try to get a minyan?” he asked.
Reb Nachum agreed.
The baal simcha took out his phone and went through his contacts. He called anyone he knew who lived in the area, including some old childhood friends he hadn’t been in touch with for a while. For close to a half-hour, he stood there making calls. After fifteen minutes, one Yid arrived, and fifteen minutes later, another.
Reb Nachum went outside to scan the streets. Perhaps he’d be able to schlep some men inside.
“You don’t have much to look out for,” the father warned. “This is a very secular neighborhood, and the people here don’t like chareidim much, to put it mildly.”
It was already 11:15 p.m., and there were eight men in the shul.
The baal simcha turned to his father and asked if he had any friends to call. He reluctantly picked up the phone and called the elderly gabbai of the shul, knowing that he had probably retired for the night at this point. But the gabbai agreed to come, and so they were nine.
The men were growing impatient. If the event didn’t begin soon, they would leave.
Reb Nachum advised the father to start. “Nine is better than four,” he rationalized. “If we wait, we won’t even have these nine.”
The baby was brought over, and in a tearful voice, the father began to say the pesukim that are recited before a pidyon haben. Just as he was about to begin the bracha — his eyes brimming with tears of pain at not being zoche to a minyan at this special moment — the door opened.
In walked a guy with a shock of hair that fell until his shoulders and brawny arms full of tattoos. He held his phone up, taking a clip of the people inside the shul. Someone ran over and asked, “Are you Jewish?”
The fellow reacted as if he were highly offended. “What? Do you think only you are Jews?! I’m a Jew too. My grandfather was a rabbi!”
The baby’s father immediately recited the two brachos and handed the coins to the kohen. Immediately, the newcomer left.
Reb Nachum was very curious. I must check this out, he thought as he rushed out the door to catch the fellow.
When he finally caught up with him, he said, “You walked into shul at just the right moment, in time for this pidyon haben. Why don’t you join us for the seudas mitzvah?”
“Me?!” the fellow replied. “I’ve lived in this neighborhood for thirty years, and I pass this shul every single day, but I never stepped foot inside before today!”
As Reb Nachum wondered why this night was different, the man explained, “The truth is, I have no idea why I came in before. There was some inner voice inside me that told me to enter. I pushed the voice away and continued down the street, but that voice kept coming back. I don’t know why I listened, but I turned around and came inside. I don’t even know what was taking place in that shul. I just took a clip so I could show my friends where I was!”
What hashgachah pratis! A man who hasn’t seen the interior of a shul for at least three decades, at a time when protests and demonstrations against the chareidim were a daily occurrence, heard an inner voice telling him to go to shul where it turned out he was needed.
* * * * *
Moshe Rabbeinu gathered Klal Yisroel to bring everyone into a bond, promising to keep the Torah and mitzvos. Every single Yid was included — even the simplest ones, such as the water carriers and woodchoppers — so we can clearly see that even those who are in a difficult place spiritually remain a part of Klal Yisroel and a child of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Regardless where one is at, it isn’t possible to disconnect.
As the Torah says, “Banim atem l’Hashem Elokeichem” (Devarim 14:1). Just as a child can never stop being a child of his parents, even if he doesn’t behave as he should, it’s impossible for a Yid to be cut off from Hashem and from Klal Yisroel. Inside, the neshamah remains connected.
In that shul in Tel Aviv, one more Yid was needed in order to create a minyan. Despite the fact that he was in a terrible spiritual state, he was able to complete the minyan. Even nine great tzaddikim sitting together cannot recite devarim she’b’kedusha that require a minyan, such as Barchu and Kaddish, while a group of ten simple Yidden can.
This was Moshe Rabbeinu’s message to us: Every Yiddishe neshamah retains its kedusha regardless of the grime that may cover its shine.
ןטנאקיטילאפ
עדניימעג עלאקאל יד טימ םענייאניא ןטעברא ייז .סעיצאזינאגרא רעגרובסמאיליוו ןבאה טייצ רעבלעז רעד ןיא ןשטנואוו סירג ערעייז טקורדעגסיוא םינקסע ייצילאפ קראי וינ יד ןיא וויטקעטעד א וצ רעכלעוו ,טקניסירפ עטס’90
dreamy + smooth
ןא ייב טגאזעג
גנוניימ ןייז טיול זא הפיח
רענעזעוועג רעד טגאמראפ
סנאש א אמואק רענרעוואג יד ןעניוועג וצ 50% יוו רעמ ןופ ראיעמ לאז ביוא ,ןלאוו ראיעמ ךיז אווילס
ןיא” וצ טייקנסאלשטנא ןיימ טימ טלייט סאוו רעריפ א טרעהעג
ענייז ןענעז ,תווצמו הרות תרימש .ןראוועג טמורקראפ סואימ רעטרעוו שיטירק ךיוא זיא עיצאקינוימאק .סעיציזאפ ןוא סעלאר טלייט’מ ןעוו
רעייז ןענעז ןסעומש טראס יד”
לאמוצ .ןעשעג זומ’ס
זיא סענזיב םעניילק א ראפ .סענזיב
Shabbos
Candle Lighting Starts Here
8:086:42
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BY BROCHY GANELES
Rebecca receives an unwanted visit from her sister-in-law, Judith. Jacob considers joining the Continental Army.
The women arrive at four o’clock. The prayer gathering was called for half past three, and they are late. They do not think of her meat pies that must be put into the oven. They are late, and they talk and chatter as if they have done nothing wrong.
“Come, Judith.” Sara Gomez smiles at her. “Lucille received a letter from her cousin in Savannah. You must hear her read it; the news is dreadful!”
Judith burns. She does not wish to hear Lucille read her letter, does not wish for Sara Gomez and her straight white teeth to purr and laugh in her parlor as if this were any other social gathering. Judith has called the women together to pray, but the women laugh like mockingbirds, and Judith cannot understand it.
Lucille holds the letter aloft proudly. “It’s been five months since the British took Savannah, and my poor cousin is wearing thin. I daresay she may be joining us in Charlestown soon, if the Patriots don’t rescue her first!” She opens the letter and prepares to read.
“I—” Judith clears her throat, licks her lips. “I think we should begin our Tehillim now. It is not the time for chatter.”
There is a stillness to the room, a beating of fans and a stifle of laughter, and the women stare at Judith. She has said something wrong.
“But of course!” Sara smiles at her again. “How right you are, Judith! Come, ladies, we must do our duty and send our soldiers off for battle with a prayer. Judith —” she puts a daintily gloved hand on her shoulder “— will you please lead us in prayer?”
Judith nods and opens her Tehillim. But her shoulder burns, and the letters blur together before her. She forces the words out, a flat and rushed sound that scrapes the back of her throat, and the women repeat after her in solemn whispers.
The women stare at Judith. She has said something wrong
At last, she is done. She closes the Tehillim and dares to look up at the women. They do not look back at her. They look at each other, at the paintings on her walls, examine the embroidery of her sofa, and so the awful stillness returns to the room.
“Well.” Lucille stands first. “I must be off.” She meets Judith’s eyes for a moment, an angry flash of black night, then smiles at the rest of the women. “It has been so enjoyable seeing you all. May we meet again for simchos.”
Sara Gomez stands next. “Thank you, Judith.” Her smile is so white. “Please make our appreciation known to Mr. Levy. He has put aside his personal sentiments of war for the sake of our Jewish brethren, and we are all heartened by his devotion.” She looks at Judith, expecting a response, but Judith does not know what to say, so she merely nods.
The rest of the women leave quickly, only a few whispers among them. And Judith is left alone, watching from the window, and knowing that once again, she has done wrong.
Precisely at the moment when Jacob Solomon realizes what his purpose in this life is, the baby wails. Rebecca hurries to the cradle, shushing and patting the bundle in her arms, but her eyes remain locked with Jacob’s.
“Where am I to go?” There is wobble in Rebecca’s voice, and Jacob looks away.
He runs his fingers over the wooden grain of the table. It is a soft wood, the veneer faded in spots, and he can still feel the ridges, the veins of life that once upheld a forest. He really ought to sand and polish it before he sets out.
“Jacob.” Rebecca looks at him still. “Where am I to go?” Now her voice is firm, thrust out of her throat with a bravado of courage.
“I’m sure Raphael will look after you.” He does not mean for his words to sound abrupt, and he sighs. “War is not easy, Rebecca.” He does not want to tell her the truth of his reasoning, tell her that they are standing on the precipice of ruin and that he must do something, anything, to save them. But he must. “The Army offers a salary, more than
She does not know that Gideon has left for Philadelphia, does not know that her husband has been without employment
Gideon could ever offer.”
“Gideon will not mind your leaving the shop? Surely he needs his most skilled apprentice.” Rebecca’s face is blank, innocent. It dawns on him, then, that she has not heard. She does not know that Gideon has left for Philadelphia, does not know that her husband has been without employment. And Jacob has not told her.
“There has been much talk of Independence and liberties, of how our nation ought to be governed, but if we do not fight for these freedoms, they will never come to be. The Continental soldiers from our kehillah have returned from the war, and they are better for it. And… there is also the matter of Gideon.” Jacob coughs, looks away. “Gideon has closed the shop and left for Philadelphia. He bade me fare-
Think late nights mean closed doors? Not here. Not ever.
We extended the hours for you. Come early, come late. No matter your schedule, we’re ready when you are.
well this Sunday evening. I have not had success in finding another occupation.” The smallness of his admission, of a man who cannot provide for his wife, crawls at his skin and so he raises his chin with a tight smile.
Rebecca swallows, looks away from Jacob to the baby in her arms. “Then you must go. I don’t know how I shall be able to bear it. But Gabriel and I will be brave.” Her smile is watery, her eyes are watery, and Jacob is suddenly very unsure of his convictions.
It had been so clear to him, after speaking with David and Moses at the beit knesses. He needed to find employment. And their uniforms had called to him, taunted him, telling him of glory and honor that he had never known.
It is as if his whole life he has done the right thing, lived a small life in a small house, and then these men showed him that he could be more. That if he chose it, there was a world of courage and bravery for the taking. But now his wife and child are before him, and he does not know how he thought that Jacob Solomon could ever be more than a man struggling to put bread on the table.
“Rebecca, if you wish me to stay, I shall.” He looks at the baby in her arms. “Perhaps I can ask the chazan or the parnas for employment, just for the time being.” They will not offer employment, but they will give him charity. And he burns at the thought of it.
“No,” she says. “We will be alright, Jacob. I’m sure Raphael will agree to host us.” She sets Gabriel down in the cradle softly, drapes a cloth over him. “You should go.”
Jacob exhales. She has agreed. He will have to act quickly. Captain Lushington’s company sets out again in a fortnight, and there is so much he must do. He must speak with David and Moses, inquire as to what sort of supplies and provisions he ought to prepare. The vision of a soldier in navy cloth smiles at him, tips his hat. Jacob Solomon, indeed.
With her back still turned to him, Rebecca says softly, “What of your parents? They are not young.”
Jacob scoffs. “I daresay they will not worry much for me. In their eyes, my leaving may be the first good thing I have ever done in my life.”
Rebecca clucks her tongue, but doesn’t respond, and he knows he is right. The Solomon sons have each carved a role for themselves. Gideon the leader, Ezra the rich one and Benjamin the wise one. Jacob is the small one. It has never been spoken, but it is a truth that Jacob has known since the cradle. His brothers took their first steps before their first birthday, had memorized the Krias Shema before their second, and could recite their letters before their third. Jacob did not walk until he had completed his second year of life, his first grievous sin in the Solomon home. He has never been able to earn his parents’ good grace since then.
“I will invite my parents for a Shabbos meal this week. It has been a while since we had them last.” Jacob pulls his lips into a thin line, swallows hard on the quiver in his throat. Perhaps this will be his moment. He will look his parents in the eye and tell them with pride that their son will be a soldier in the Continental Army.
He can see it now. They will be Gideon the leader, Ezra the rich, Benjamin the wise, and Jacob the brave.
• • o rganic , pure unprocess e d BETTER FORYOU
Raw, unfiltered, and naturally golden— no fuss, no additives, just the real thing. Drizzle it over warm challah, stir it into tea, or sweeten your Yom Tov dishes with care. However you enjoy it, may every drop bring a year of goodness, health, and blessing.
STORE HOURS: SUNDAY - THURSDAY 11:30 AM - 7 PM
FRIDAY (WINTER) 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM | (SUMMER) 11:30 AM - 2 PM
•
There’s a charged and refreshing energy in the air. This Yom Tov season, all the shopping and cooking prep is accompanied by whispered tefillos for a sweet new year.
Enjoy our rich and varied Yom Tov dishes as we unveil our Tishrei menu. As always, we strive to combine elegance with ease, tradition with fresh twists. Happy cooking, and may all of our tefillos be answered L’tovah.
ISSUE 020
SESAME DIP THIS WEEK!
DECONSTRUCTED APPLE CRANBERRY CRUMBLE
APPLE PIE
APPLE CUSTARD MUFFINS
ISSUE 021
COFFEE CLUB ROAST
RASPBERRY GLAZED BEEF
CARAMEL BALSAMIC FLANKEN ROAST
ISSUE 022
CRANBERRY MOUSSE CUPS
COFFEE CHOCOLATE FUDGE PIE
SWISS MERINGUE WREATHS WITH PLUM COMPOTE
ISSUE 023
OLIVE TAPENADE
ONION ‘N HERB DIP
ASIAN BROCCOLI SLAW
LIBBY GOLDBERGER
Tishrei is fast approaching, and with it the cooling vibes of fall. This comes along with the desire to warm our kitchens with the cozy aromas of baking apples.
A slice of warm apple pie is the perfect finish to any meal.
2 cups Wondermills flour
1½ sticks margarine
¼ cup sugar
⅓ cup ice-cold water
7–8 golden delicious apples, sliced thinly
½ cup sugar
6 T. apricot jam
½ tsp. cinnamon
1 T. Wondermills flour
1 T. cornstarch
2 T. water
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Mix dough ingredients together using the dough hook. Add another 1 or 2 tablespoons of flour if needed. Place the dough in the fridge for a few hours or overnight.
3. To prepare the filling, combine the sugar, apricot jam, cinnamon and flour in a bowl until combined.
4. In a small cup, combine the cornstarch and water until there are no lumps, and add to the apricot mixture.
5. Add the apples, and toss until all the apples are coated.
6. Reserve a bit of dough for the lattice on top. Roll out the remaining dough into a 9” circle between 2 parchment papers. Place the dough into a 9” pie dish. Spoon the apple mixture on top of the dough.
7. Roll out the remaining dough into a square. Cut out long strips of dough, measuring approximately ¾-inch in the width, and create a criss-cross lattice on top.
8. Brush the top with egg wash, and sprinkle with sugar.
9. Bake at 350° for an hour, until the dough turns golden.
A luscious and comforting dessert that’s just perfect for Yom Tov. Yields approximately 16 muffins.
INGREDIENTS
2 sticks margarine
1 egg
1 tsp. baking powder
1 vanilla sugar
1 cup sugar
3 cups Wondermills flour
3 Cortland apples, peeled and cubed
Dash of cinnamon
12 oz. custard
Confectioners’ sugar, optional
STREUSEL CRUMB TOPPING
⅔ cup flour
⅓ cup brown sugar
½ stick margarine, melted
1. Knead the first six ingredients into a fine dough, using the dough hook.
2. Oil-spray three 6-cup muffin pans.
3. Press the dough onto the bottoms and sides of the muffin pans.
4. Mix the cubed apples with cinnamon. Spoon the apple filling evenly into each muffin cavity.
5. Top each muffin with 1 tablespoon of custard. Add 1 spoonful of dough, and spread it over the muffin.
6. Combine the streusel crumbs ingredients. Sprinkle on top of the muffin.
7. Bake at 350° for 25 to 30 minutes, until light brown.
8. Dust with confectioners’ sugar, if desired.
All the warm and cozy fall vibes are in this simple yet flavorful dessert.
APPLE LAYER
6 Cortland apples
1 cup fresh or frozen cranberries
1 T. Wondermills flour
¼ cup sugar
1 tsp. lemon juice
CRUMBLE
1 stick margarine, cut into chunks
¾ cup flour
½ cup brown sugar
¼ cup granola or oats Caramel syrup, for garnish
DIRECTIONS
1. Preheat the oven to 350°.
2. Peel the apples, and cut them into small cubes. Place in a 9x13” baking pan along with the cranberries.
3. Mix in the rest of the apple layer ingredients.
4. Cover and bake for 1½ hours, tossing every ½ hour, until the apples are soft.
5. Combine all crumble ingredients, and place on a lined cookie sheet.
6. Bake uncovered for 10 minutes, then stir the mixture and continue baking for 15 to 20 minutes, checking intermittently for burning. Mix while hot to break the mixture into a crumble.
7. To assemble, place 2 tablespoons of warm apple mixture onto a plate, sprinkle with crumble, and drizzle with caramel syrup. Alternatively, place a little of the crumble into a glass cup, add the apple mixture, drizzle with caramel syrup, and add more crumbs on top.
Note: If you plan to prepare this dish in advance, freeze the components separately, and rewarm the apples before assembling.
DIRECTIONS:
1. Grease or line an 8" round springform pan with Lieber’s parchment paper. Set aside.
2. Preheat oven to 375º F.
CAKE INGREDIENTS:
¾ cup flour
¼ cup sugar
1 tsp baking powder
¾ tsp Lieber’s cinnamon
⅛ tsp baking soda
⅛ tsp salt
¼ cup + 2 Tbs of non-dairy milk
¾ tsp Lieber’s vanilla extract
¼ cup + 2 tsp oil
1 large egg
1 can Lieber’s apple pie filling
CRUMB INGREDIENTS:
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1/3 cup sugar
1 tsp Lieber’s cinnamon
½ tsp salt
½ cup coconut oil melted & cooled
1 ½ cups flour
Caramel sauce for serving (Optional)
3. For the topping: In a medium bowl, whisk together both sugars, cinnamon, salt and flour. Add melted coconut oil and mix with a fork until it forms crumbs. Set aside.
4. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda and salt. In a large measuring cup, mix together milk, vanilla, oil and egg. Whisk until smooth.
5. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir with a wooden spoon. Do not over mix.
6. Pour the cake batter into the prepared pan.
7. Pour the apple pie filling over the cake batter. Sprinkle crumb topping over the apples covering completely.
8. Bake the cake for 30 - 35 minutes or until the topping is golden brown.
9. Let cool completely in the pan.
I remember when setting up for a vort involved the strategic placement of shoe boxes under tablecloths so you could display your neighbor’s peanut chew platter with “height.” Alongside the peanut chews were an assortment of homemade cookies — usually “doggie bones,” crinkle cookies and almond crescents — sent with love from friends and family. Mazel tov!
Those homegrown affairs have gone the way of corded phones and station wagons. Today’s simchos are on a completely different scale. Homemade cookies have morphed into handmade miniatures, venues have moved from home to hall, and the bevy of kallah’s friends who used to set up the event has been replaced by a party planner, whose job it is to pull together all those elegant details.
Mirel Weber, simcha planner extraordinaire, graciously gave me some of her time in a rare, quiet moment between events, along with a backstage glimpse into the work that goes on behind the scenes of a perfectly planned simcha
“I never planned to go into the party planning business at all,” says Mirel. “I actually ran a business selling sheitel hats for about 20 years, but it became complicated to run a business out of my home while raising my children. I thought party planning would be perfect for me instead, and at first I accepted mostly Shabbos simchos.”
She didn’t dream that her little side hustle would turn her into a go-to planner for beautifully orchestrated simchos, from simple sheva brachos parties to lavish hachnasas Sefer Torah celebrations.
came at the request of a friend. Since she didn’t yet have any systems in place, Mirel did all the work herself.
“I just did something I was always good at, without really knowing why I was good at it,” Mirel says. “I always had a flair for making things look beautiful.”
From there, the business grew organically, one step at a time.
“I actually set up my own vort when I was a kallah,” Mirel recalls. “We thought it was the most stunning thing ever! We used a black tablecloth, a white runner and red roses, and for special effect, drums to showcase the miniatures.”
Her first “professional” job
“There was no such thing then as getting fruit platters from this place, cake platters from that place. I did everything myself. I cut up all the fruit and arranged it all on my own. I thought the hostess would be disappointed, but they thought it was gorgeous! After that, things just picked up on their own.”
“I just did something I was always good at, without really knowing why I was good at it,” Mirel says. “I always had a flair for making things look beautiful”
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I ask Mirel what’s changed over the years.
“Everything,” she replies candidly. Today’s standards have risen exponentially, and what only a wealthy family would have had for their simcha in years past is now standard even for a family on a tight budget. Simchos have become bigger, louder and way more extravagant, and even some outlandish additions have started creeping in.
Mirel recalls some of her more unusual events. “A few years ago, a doctor from the Five Towns called me to plan her son’s bar mitzvah. She davka wanted to make it in Ohr Samayach in Monsey rather than in a fancy hotel, so that her son’s bar mitzvah would be in a ‘makom kadosh.’ Since her son loved soccer, the bar mitzvah’s theme was everything soccer! Guests each got a little duffle bag containing a blanket with the bar mitzvah boy’s name on it, as well as a Shabbos lamp shaped like a soccer ball and yarmulkas with soccer balls on them. There were soccer ball–shaped cookies and a hammock filled with soccer balls to round out the decor.”
Another more interesting simcha she planned was centered around the bar mitzvah boy’s love of fish.
“Throughout the hall there were enormous fish tanks placed in strategic spots, and the centerpieces on the tables featured huge vases filled with goldfish swimming around. Each guest was served a whole mini trout, and for dessert, guests were
served a plate that had a tiny fish tank with a live fish on it, alongside a tasty ice pop.”
At this point in Mirel’s career, her operation is a smooth and well oiled machine, with multiple simchos seamlessly coordinated at the same time. She makes sure to enlist plenty of help so she never finds herself shorthanded. Her services are in constant demand, as her reputation as the go-to planner for every budget precedes her. So what does she think are the most important elements of a beautiful Yiddishe simcha?
“It isn’t necessary to shell out tons of money,” she says. “With a little thought and effort, you can pull off a beautiful simcha on any budget. I would say to start with your flowers, and take key elements and colors from there. If it’s a vort, it’s important to make sure the kallah’s dress coordinates well with the flowers. I prefer working with soft colors rather than strong, garish colors, as it makes the venue look more refined.
“It’s also important to formulate a budget where you focus on what’s most important to you. For example, many of my chasiddish clients will spend a lot of money on extra food, but will skimp on the flowers. Decide what’s most important to you to make your simcha extra special.”
Trends move fast, especially in today’s media-driven
Guests were served a plate that had a tiny fish tank with a live fish on it, alongside a tasty ice pop
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world. What seems to be de rigueur one month is completely passé by the next, and keeping up can sometimes seem like a full-time job. How does Mirel stay on top of current trends?
“I don’t,” is her blunt reply. “I don’t have WhatsApp, I don’t use social media and I don’t use technology to drive my business. I generally have a good feel for what’s looking good at the moment, and I don’t let myself be dictated to by whatever is trending right now.”
People often come to Mirel with pictures of gorgeous tablescapes and ask her to recreate them — within budget, of course.
“But photos are very often inaccurate,” she says. “What you’re seeing could be a multimillion-dollar affair, or it could be a Photoshopped image that looks way more glamorous than it really was. This creates false standards, and it fools people into believing that every-
one can pull off a simcha just like the Cohens did. It creates unnecessary jealousy and artificially drives up standards.”
Is there any area where presentation does matter?
“There’s a certain hall that has a reputation for having the best food,” Mirel says in way of an answer. “I asked the caterer what his secret was, and he told me it was the plating. When food looks good, it also tastes good. It’s important to present food nicely. Even a plate of gefilte fish can be made to look attractive with a few simple garnishes. On the other hand, people can sometimes spend a fortune on expensive meats, but when it isn’t presented elegantly, then you could have done just as well serving a cheaper alternative.”
Catch Mirel on any day of the week, and she’ll likely be running from site to site as she plans a few simchos at once. This past Shabbos alone she coordinated simchos in four different locations. Doing so many things at the
“But photos are very often inaccurate,” Mirel says. “What you’re seeing could be a multimillion-dollar affair, or it could be a Photoshopped image that looks way more glamorous than it really was”
same time requires an extra level of organization, as well as the ability to handle situations when things go off script, which they inevitably do.
“One particular Shabbos simcha had so many disasters that, looking back, you just have to laugh,” Mirel says. “I had hired a waitress I thought I could trust, and after setting up the site before Shabbos, I left it in waitress Lisa’s hands. On Shabbos morning, I was greeted by the baal simcha, who was very irate. ‘What’s wrong?’ I asked. ‘What’s wrong?’ she said. ‘More like what went right! Do you know we had the police here Friday night?’
“I soon found out that Lisa, who was the only one of the waitstaff who knew how a Shabbos meal was supposed to be served, left right after I did on Friday afternoon. The waiters had zero experience serving a Shabbos meal, and the meal was an unceasing string of errors. On Friday night, for the dips course, they neatly arranged a sectional dish containing chopped liver, tuna salad, and tomato dip. When the baalei simcha came into the kitchen to see what was going on, Lisa showed up. Afraid of what might happen when the hosts would realize she had neglected her job, she called the police and claimed that the baalei simcha were harassing and abusing her. Thankfully, after much explanation, the police didn’t take her seriously, but it was quite an unpleasant turn of events. On Shabbos morning, I quickly ran to another hall close by and begged the caterer to lend me some of his waiters, which he kindly did.”
To cap matters off, Lisa showed up at Mirel’s door after Shabbos, crying that she’d
been abused and harassed over Shabbos, and demanded payment. Mirel calmly showed her footage of the event, where it clearly showed that she had not been present for most of the seudah, and that was that. Obviously, that was the last time Mirel hired Lisa to run an event.
Another near disaster was a date mixup of a bar mitzvah that took place at the beginning of Mirel’s party planning career. She was enjoying a lazy family Sunday, thinking that all she had to do that day was fire up the grill, when she got a phone call.
“It was a client asking when the tablecloths were coming. I had no idea what they were talking about! Then I realized that there had somehow been a misunderstanding about the date, and that I was supposed to set up for a bar mitzvah that very night. And it was July Fourth weekend as well, which meant that many of my vendors were away.”
With the aplomb that she has become famous for, Mirel slipped into high gear.
“I tried every gemach I knew of until I found tablecloths, because the tablecloth vendor I use was in Vermont. My husband ran to get fruit at the supermarket, and I enlisted all of my friends to help me cut them up. I couldn’t get hold of my regular florist and found a local yokel who sent the most awful flowers you have ever seen.
On Shabbos morning, I quickly ran to another hall close by and begged the caterer to lend me some of his waiters
Then, when I reached out to my regular baker, she told me she was in New Hampshire. However, in an incredible act of chesed, she gave me the combination to her door and told me to take whatever I needed from her freezer, and that we would make the cheshbon later. With some syrup and store-bought juices we created three different colored drinks, and voila! We had a beautiful bar mitzvah!”
After so many years of experiencing Yiddishe simchos, what is the most important thing a baal simcha should know?
Mirel answers unhesitatingly. “To relax and enjoy every moment of their simcha. A simcha passes so quickly; it’s just one night. You won’t remember if every tiny detail matched your vision. You’ll only remember the joy of the simcha and the nachas you had. Don’t get agitated over the small stuff.
“At one very upscale simcha, the hostess was very spe-
cific about the mechitzos, which she wanted black and trimmed in silver. However, when they arrived, they were silver and trimmed in black. I had to do something about it, because people, especially women, don’t like standing near a mechitzah that is in effect a mirror. Because of time constraints, I was only able to exchange it for an all-black mechitzah, a far cry from the hostess’s original vision, but I told her that this was the best I could do, and that it wasn’t worth getting agitated over. At the end of the simcha she thanked me and told me that not getting worked up over small details was just what she needed to hear in order to enjoy her simcha.”
Mirel sometimes wishes for a return to the older, simpler ways of making simchos. “Many simchos today have become very impersonal. In the past, friends and family would send something to every simcha so that they could personally share in your joy. Today, everything gets done with a phone call to the caterer or party planner, and very often, the effort of the person who sent something is not really apparent — nor appreciated enough.”
One positive change Mirel has noticed is that people have become more realistic about their budgets. “People today have a clearer idea of what they want, and how much they can realistically do with the budget that they have. I used to get more calls asking, ‘Can you do a vachnacht for xyz dollars,’ quoting a ridiculously low amount that wouldn’t even cover the food they wanted. Today, people know that if they want to have an upscale simcha, then they need to have realistic expectations about how much it’s going to cost.”
A simcha passes so quickly; it’s just one night. You won’t remember if every tiny detail matched your vision. You’ll only remember the joy of the simcha and the nachas you had
Ultimately, a Yiddishe simcha is not only about the flowers, the tablecloths or even the food. A simcha celebrates another family forging another link in the chain of Klal Yisroel. For that, the budget is irrelevant; the centerpiece is the joy and nachas for the family and Hashem.
שבדב םיחופת Apples in Honey
םירמת Dates
Leek
ארק Gourd
אקליס Beets
From
Years ago, I was shopping around for a nice set of Shabbos cutlery.
On a visit to Brooklyn, I popped into a houseware store and asked the owner if they carried a set with fish knives and fish forks. She looked up at me and said, “You’re British, aren’t you? Here in America, we don’t use these things.”
Eventually, I bought a full set from an English brand, and now each setting at my Shabbos table includes two knives, two forks and two spoons. Guests rarely know what to make of the fish knife — but thankfully, my children do.
It’s not just the fish knife that earns puzzled looks. The soup spoon, too, often needs a little explanation as it’s more rounded than the American spoon. You’re supposed to sip delicately from its side instead of shoving the front into your mouth.
Refined table etiquette is often thought of as a European practice, rooted in centuries of aristocracy. Yet the wealthy families of America’s Gilded Age held themselves to equally high standards. And even in today’s casual world, where fast food dominates, the traditions of proper dining still whisper reminders of a more elegant past.
Imagine stepping into the dining hall of a royal palace or a great estate. Before a word is spoken, the table itself sets the tone. Silver polished until it gleams, crystal goblets catching the light, porcelain plates trimmed in gold — more than a meal, every detail announces that this is a house of order and refinement.
In Britain, monarchs commissioned entire sets of china for state occasions, each adorned with national emblems. In America, the White House maintains its own official state china service, with each president inaugurating a new design. To sit at such a table is to dine on history itself.
When forks and spoons first arrived in British noble households, they were more than tools; they were statements. Where once people ate with knives and hands, now came utensils designed for grace. By the 18th and 19th centuries, the table was crowded with specialized cutlery: fish forks, cake forks, fruit knives, dessert spoons. Setting the cutlery properly had a simple but elegant rule: Work your way from the outside in, as each course arrives. For example, fish forks are placed outside the dinner forks, as the fish course is served first.
Dining in such a setting was never just about filling one’s stomach. It was about participating in a world of ritual and grace, where even the smallest gesture mattered.
Across the Atlantic, America’s Gilded Age elite — the
Vanderbilts, Astors and Carnegies — cultivated similar standards of grandeur. Their mansions, modeled after European palaces, boasted dining rooms that seated dozens and grand ballrooms that hosted magnificent banquets. For these families, table etiquette was as much about social position as it was about food.
As much as modern-day society dinners may look like those of the past, the lives of the aristocrats of previous centuries revolved around meal time.
Attire was a key part of the ritual. In grand households,
family members and guests were expected to change their clothing multiple times a day. Morning attire was suitable for casual business, afternoon dress was required for visits, and dinner demanded full evening wear. For men, this meant a formal dress coat, while the women wore gowns and their finest jewelry. At state occasions or society banquets, the tiaras would be on full display. The formality of dress reinforced the idea that meals were not only about food but about honoring the occasion.
Breakfast was usually served buffet-style in the breakfast room, with family members coming in for the morning meal whenever they were ready for the day (though they were expected to be up at a decent hour).
Luncheon was served after midday. This meal was a
light affair that included cold meats, salads and pastries. There’s a reason the term “luncheon” is associated with ladies rather than with gentlemen. At this time of day, the men were generally out on business and ate the afternoon meal at the local pub or gentlemen’s club. Luncheon became a time for the women to socialize with their friends at home.
Then came tea time. The iconic British tea time ritual was introduced in the 17th century, when tea was still an expensive luxury, available only to the wealthy. It was served in fine porcelain cups, often imported from China, and became associated with sophistication.
By the early 19th century, the Duchess of Bedford (a lady-in-waiting to Queen Victoria) popularized afternoon tea, which was served at around four o’clock. She found the gap between luncheon and late dinner too long and began taking tea with small cakes and sandwiches in her private rooms. This habit spread rapidly among the aristocracy.
Afternoon tea is still served today, but mostly in luxury hotels like The Ritz in London where curious commoners can pay to experience this small slice of aristocratic life. Afternoon tea consists of light finger foods, like perfectly-cut cucumber sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam, and array of tiny cakes and pastries, all presented on a three-tiered platter alongside a tea tray.
Afternoon tea should not be confused with high tea, which is completely different. Despite the name, high tea was traditionally a working-class evening meal with
heartier dishes (meats, bread and potatoes), eaten at a high table. Aristocrats never used the term “high tea”; they considered it common.
Tea time, of course, came with its own set of etiquette and rules. The hostess poured tea for her guests, reinforcing the ritual of hospitality. Warm milk was poured first, then the tea from the tea pot, and then sugar. (The British way of making tea with just the right amount of milk being poured first, is championed as highly superior to any other way, and displays one’s tea-making skills.) Cups were held delicately by the handle — never with fingers looped through it — and spoons rested neatly on the saucer after stirring; they were never left in the cup. Food was eaten in small bites: sandwiches first, then scones, then cakes.
Dinner was the main meal of the day. While the working class ate supper in the earlier hours of the evening, the noble households ate later, at around 8 p.m.
Children, no matter how noble their birth, were rarely allowed to join the adults at formal meals. The dining room was reserved for those who had mastered proper conduct. Until then, children ate separately with their governesses or in nursery rooms. Only when they could handle themselves with poise — sitting upright, using utensils correctly, and participating in conversation with grace and respect — were they welcomed at the family table.
Dinner was announced by the dinner gong. Family members, all dressed in their
fine evening wear, would gather in a parlor for some pre-dinner drinks and casual conversation. Then the butler would announce, “Dinner is served,” and they would make their way to the formal dining room.
The procession into the dining room (or ballroom, if it was a more celebratory affair) was arranged according to rank or age. When the family dined alone, everyone entered according to their age. When guests were present, everyone entered in pairs according to their rank, or title. In Britain, dukes and marquesses are superior to earls and barons, and so they would lead the procession. Over in America, where aristocratic titles didn’t exist, rank meant social precedence, which was calculated according to one’s net worth.
Conversation itself was carefully regulated. Guests were seated according to rank and arranged so that conversation would flow evenly around the table. Speaking across the table was discouraged, as was dominating the conversation. The head of the household would begin conversing with the person seated to his right, and the rest of the guests would follow suit by conversing with one of their neighbors at the table. At a certain point, everyone would switch and talk to the person on their other side. The art of table talk was about balance: listening as well as speaking, and wit tempered with restraint.
Posture mattered. Elbows were kept off the table, chewing was discreet, and slowness was preferred to haste. Eating was not to be rushed; it was to be conducted with calm dignity, reflecting self-control and consideration for others.
For centuries, the royal courts of Europe set the standard for dining etiquette. In earlier times, meals were served in the style known as service à la Française, in which dozens of dishes were placed on the table at once, and diners helped themselves. While grand in appearance, this
When Jacqueline Kennedy arrived at the White House in 1961, she quickly realized that the state dining tradition had grown tired and lacked historical depth. Determined to restore both beauty and dignity, she placed great emphasis on the State Dining Room and on the role of the table itself in conveying status.
One of her first steps was to restore the room’s furnishings to their original character. She oversaw the re-gilding of fixtures, the return of historic centerpieces, and the careful arrangement of chairs and tables that reflected the home’s early style. She paid particular attention to the china and place settings. Each piece was chosen to harmonize with the season and the formality of the event.
Mrs. Kennedy also modernized the way state dinners were experienced. Instead of the stiff U-shaped tables of the past, she introduced round tables, which encouraged personal conversation and gave guests a more welcoming experience. The settings were sophisticated but never ostentatious, with no detail left unattended — from the arrangement of cutlery to the precise folding of napkins.
During previous administrations, White House dinners were very long and overly formal, with six or more courses served. Mrs. Kennedy had the menus simplified into a graceful four-course structure, striking a balance between elegance and restraint. Each dish was chosen with thought for the season and the guests, ensuring that hospitality was expressed not through extravagance, but through elegance.
To safeguard this tradition, Mrs. Kennedy established the White House Historical Association, ensuring that the home’s treasures, including its china collections, would be preserved and studied. Thanks to her vision, the White House regained its reputation as a place where state dining was not only about serving food, but about expressing the dignity of the nation through order, beauty and hospitality.
system was chaotic and wasteful. By the 19th century, a more elegant method, service à la Russe, took its place. Here, each course was brought in separately in a carefully timed procession, allowing for a calmer, more dignified meal.
This change required the expansion of cutlery and glassware, since each course demanded its own tools. It also allowed for greater artistry in presentation. The royal table became a display of precision and order, with every plate, goblet and utensil placed in exact alignment.
The waitstaff were trained to move with precision and discretion, and were not permitted to speak unless spoken to. Plates were served from the left, wine poured from the
right. No servant would dare interrupt a guest’s conversation. A plate that was finished was removed as though by invisible hands, so that the rhythm of the meal could continue seamlessly. The skill of the household staff was a point of pride for aristocratic families and reflected their ability to maintain a home where order and dignity reigned.
Even communication at the table was refined into a code. The way a diner placed his cutlery signaled whether he had finished his course or merely paused. A napkin left on the chair indicated that one intended to return; a napkin folded neatly on the plate signaled that the meal was concluded. Words were unnecessary; manners spoke more eloquently than voices.
In every era, from royal courts to Gilded Age mansions to the White House, the table has been more than a place for eating. It has served as a stage for culture and tradition where silver and china, cutlery and conversation, all come together to reflect the values of the household. While fashions in dining may evolve, the act of dining itself reflects our character just as much as the menu.
As she was nearing the age of 90, my beloved grandmother didn’t remember much. She didn’t recognize me and would politely ask whom she had the honor of meeting when I would visit, even though I secretly believed I was her favorite (probably just like every one of her other granddaughters believed). But she didn’t forget what was important to her, not even in her last months, when she vehemently corrected anyone who would say that Sighet, from where she hailed, had been under Romanian proper. “It was in Hungary,” she would say with conviction, and you dared not challenge her.*
That’s the kind of Hungarian blood that flows through me. Loyal, blue and inclined to proper etiquette.
I’ll never forget an important lesson I learned from my grandmother. I was eleven years old when we had the delight of hosting her for Shabbos. I was proudly setting the table, waiting for the approval I was sure to get for my perfectly aligned cutlery, prettily folded napkins and willingness to help.
But instead, I got a barely concealed exclamation of dismay. “No!” she gasped as she looked at the table. “The forks need to be on the left. Never on the right.”
It was a lesson I never forgot, and it’s one I’m here to share.
A formal meal should have a drop of at least ten inches, while a casual table should have a drop of six to eight inches. If you choose to go floor length, you would need to measure your table height.
Tempted to skip the tablecloth? Don’t. A table upon which you eat should be “nicely covered” and clean, according to the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch
The recommended space one should allow for each person at the table is 24 inches, though in tighter spaces, 21 inches can work. Ideally, allow six inches between chairs, or a minimum of two inches if space is tight.
Using either a placemat or charger to define each place setting is always a good idea.
Table-setting formality ranges from an informal setting for a one-course meal to a multi-course formal dinner with a variety of specialized cutlery: soup spoon, entree spoon, tea spoon, dessert spoon; salad fork, fish fork, entree fork; butter knife, fish knife and entree knife (and then some!).
Here we’ll stick with the table setting that we generally see at family Shabbos meals and formal Jewish events and simchos
Place the napkin on your lap for the duration of the meal. If you need to step away from the table, you can place it loosely on your chair. After the meal, place the napkin to the left of your plate.
During mealtime, keep elbows off the table and your hands visible. Your phone should not be placed on the table or held in your hand. It should be silenced and tucked away.
When eating an entrée or appetizer that requires a fork and knife, hold the fork in your non-dominant hand and the knife in your dominant hand. The American way is to cut food with the knife, then switch the fork to your dominant hand to eat, but many prefer the continental method, where you keep the fork in your non-dominant hand to eat after cutting. You can use either method, as long as you stay consistent (because surely, someone is tracking you!).
Utensils are placed in order of use from outside in for formal table settings, although the knife does get used before the dessert spoon.
Centrally placed.
FORKS
To the left of the plate. Dinner fork near the plate, salad/appetizer fork to the far left.
KNIVES
To the right of the plate, blade facing the plate.
SPOONS
To the right of the knife.
Use either a water glass, or a water glass plus a wine glass for a meal that includes wine, placed above the knife and spoon.
NAPKIN
Placed either on the plate, to the left of the forks, or under the forks.
Unsure of how to set your table? Just use the word FORKS to guide you.
Start at the left, as if spelling the word. Place the Forks, followed by the O — which looks just like a plate. At the Right, place the Knife and then the Spoons.
Tired of having your plate confiscated before you could finish? Utensils can be used to communicate your status with those clearing the table.
I’M JUST PAUSING; DON’T TAKE IT.
I’M READY FOR THE NEXT DISH.
I’M DONE!
HMM, THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT.
Proper dining etiquette and hilchos derech eretz intersect in so many areas. The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (42) details halachos pertinent to mealtime.
DON’T OVERFILL YOUR PLATE OR EAT IN A RAVENOUS WAY.
Don’t eat or drink while standing.
DON’T HOLD THE FOOD IN YOUR HAND AND BREAK OFF PIECES WITH YOUR OTHER HAND.
When drinking, don’t consume an entire cupful in one gulp; it is proper to finish in two swallows unless it’s a bigger cup, in which case more sips are okay. (It is permitted to finish an entire cup in the case of a mitzvah, such as at Kiddush (Pischei Teshuvah on Shulchan Aruch).
Once you have taken a bite of bread, don’t place the remainder on the table, a serving dish or offer it to someone else. The same goes for other foods, as well as used drinking glasses. Don’t drink from someone else’s cup or offer someone a cup from which you drank.
Bread can be used as a substitute spoon, but you must be careful to eat some of the bread with each mouthful, and also eat what is left from the bread and not leave it on the table.
DON’T STARE AT SOMEONE WHO IS EATING OR DRINKING, OR AT THEIR PORTION.
Don’t drink water in front of others; instead, turn your face away. (This does not have to be done for other beverages.)
The Ben Ish Chai writes that one should be careful to eat slowly. One should be mindful to chew thoroughly and swallow before putting more food into one’s mouth.
IT’S IMPROPER
TO
LICK ONE’S FINGERS DURING A MEAL (KETZOS HASHULCHAN
).
Here are some tips for handling buffet traffic with finesse.
Make sure to use the designated utensils and avoid cross-contamination between dishes.
Leave the last serving for another person when the food item is running low. Hopefully, there will be a refill so you can have your taste too.
Be mindful of spills or dropped food. Clean them up, or summon someone to help you with it.
The food may look tempting, but don’t be a line muncher. Wait until you’re seated to enjoy your selections.
Your child is surely super capable, mature and clean, but don’t let them serve themselves at a buffet.
Carry drinks separately from the food, especially if they are placed in different areas.
Hold the utensils and napkins under your plate so one hand is free for serving.
No returns! Once something is on your plate, it’s there to stay.
Want seconds? Thirds? Wonderful, but bring a clean plate to the buffet each time.
Stacking or scraping dirty plates is a no-no. They should be taken away from the table and dealt with in the serving area.
Stacking or scraping dirty plates is a no-no. They should be taken away from the table and dealt with in the serving area.
I brought JOY to When? Where? 1.
I brought JOY to When? Where? 2.
I brought JOY to When? Where? 3.
Here’s how it works:
Contest is open to participants over 12 years of age.
Bring JOY to your Bubby, Zeidy, elderly relative or neighbor by visiting, helping them at home, or running an errand for them.
$150 at
Three acts of JOY in Tishrei make you eligible for a chance to win
Wrapped beautifully, sized to stand out & never get lost.
Buying with a group, friends, or family?
Total amount can be divided and charged on separate credit/debit cards.
Load your gift card onto your account for easy access anytime!
time with 90 minutes of professional, and inspiring audio they’ll listen to again and again. Watch your Kinderlach master the בּ-א through תווצמ and mentchees with clarity and fun.
1. Gather round the table to play a family game of Boggle, using this Boggle board.
2. Once you have a winner, fill out the form below in its entirety
3. Email the form to comments@ thewview.com or fax to 718-2478881 by Sunday at midnight.
4. Two winners will be drawn each week, each of whom will receive by mail a $10 gift card at Sprinkles!
Find words on the board containing four letters or more. Letters of a word must be connected in a chain (each letter should be adjacent to the next either vertically, horizontally or diagonally), and each letter can only be used once in a given word. The following are not allowed in Boggle: Adding “s” to a word • Proper nouns • Abbreviations • Contractions • Acronyms
4-letter words: 2 points | 5-letter words: 3 points | 6-letter words: 5 points | 7-letter words: 7 points | 8-letter words: 9 points | 9+ letters: 12 points
Each Boggle board hides a word of nine letters or more!
A S S E N F O C A E E G B D V P L O I T
R H U E A
Family name: ___________________________________________________________________ Phone: ___________________________________________________________________________
Full mailing address: _________________________________________________________
Full name of winner: _________________________________________________________
Amount of points: ____________________________________________________________
Full names of competing players:
List some words only the winner found: The longest word found on the board: __________________________________ A
Thank you to the hundreds of readers who sent in beautifully colored pages! Keep coloring!
DOONA CAR SEAT BASE
Brand new, never used. Price $125. Please call: 929.214.7721
FOR SALE MONSEY
Large 5 bedroom, 3 bath bi-level on 1/2 acre. Updates: roof, skylights, attic fan (2021). Driveway repaved (2023), New furnace, HVAC and deck. Sauna (lower level). Priced to sell at $1,280,000!! Deera Homes, Sarah Schwab, Broker 914-261-6432. Won’t Last!!
BP FURNISHED APT
Brand new 1 bedroom furnished apt in the heart of Boro Park available for rent for Sukkos, month or year. Call 404-6006
BY OWNER
Two-family house is now for sale by owner at 312 Foster Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11230 For more details, call 347-5705484.
WEST PALM BEACH FLORIDA
APT. FOR SALE Century
Village-Golf Edge. 1 ½ bedroom apt. 2 baths, Brand new appliances, Ready to move in now. Price $200K or best offer. Call: 845.325.0500
WEST PALM BEACH FLORIDA
Century Village, Willington M, 2 Bedroom apt. Ground floor FOR SALE. Call: 347.760.0639
WEST PALM BEACH FLORIDA
For the best Real Estate deals, contact Mrs. Debby Schwartz 203.667.2785
MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA
Carriage Club North, Beautiful 2 bedroom, 2 bath, Ground floor. Call: 347.499.0031
NORTH MIAMI
A beautiful 3 bedrooms, 3 bath villa in North Miami, with private inground heated pool & spa. Price/night $289. Pictures available. 845.327.7153
SUKKOS RENTAL
Gorgeous 3/5 bdrm, 2/3 bath villa with heated outdoor hot tub avail. in Mountaindale, near Shuls. Price/night $350. (Pics avail.) 845.327.7153
NORTH MIAMI FL RENTAL
2-bedroom, 2-baths with private heated pool and spa. Summer Price $300 per night. Call/Text: 917-3824810, email: 1752nmb@gmail. com www.themangotreat. com
HOTEL 15
Big villa in serene area outside Monroe. 8 couple bedrooms, Teen bedroom 8 beds plus 20 kids beds. For Pictures hotelfifteen.com Call to book 845-837-5662
NORTH MIAMI
VACATION RENTAL
Beautiful, modern 4 Bdrm 3 Bthrm house for rent. Private Heated pool with spa. Pergola and covered dining area in backyard. Quiet, private neighborhood. For more info, please call or text 646-926-1260
YOMIM TOVIM RENTAL LINDEN
Brand new 3 bedroom basement. Living area and kitchen. Private backyard with inground heated pool. Sukkah provided. Call/text 929-592-0368 Also available for weekends
SUKKOS IN SWAN LAKE
2 houses next to each other available for rent for Sukkos. Each house fits 12 guests minimum. Can be rented together or separately. Big private heated pool on premises. Near minyan. Call today 347-766-5167
VACATION PROPERTIES
Luxurious vacation properties for short-term rentals in the Monsey area. Some with POOLS. can accommodate 18 to 150 guests, ideal for large families, Shabbatons, and more. AVAILABLE FOR YOM TOV. Great Minds 845-5203250.
SUCCOS RENTAL
YK/SUCCOS RENTAL
SPRING VALLEY 5000+ SF NEW CONSTRUCTION!* 7 Bedrooms(sleeps many) 6 Bathrooms, Many indoor/ outdoor play areas, 2 min walk to shul, Large Sukkah *Text/WhatsApp for pictures/ price 845-507-2752*
SUKKOS RENTAL HAVERSTRAW
Beautiful 4 Bedroom apt in Haverstraw with spacious living room/ Dining room, 3 bathrooms. Big deck, front & back lawn. 5 min walk to Heimishe shul. Call 718-4046006
WORK FROM HOME
Great opportunity to manage your own business from home. No experience needed, no computer necessary. Huge potential to grow big. Call: 438.529.1216
MIAMI BEACH FLORIDA
Collins Ave. Beautiful ocean view. 1 bedroom apt. Call: 347.760.0570
WORK FROM HOME
Let your extra time bring you some extra cash. You’ll absolutely enjoy it and feel fulfilled! For more about this wonderful business and how it works Call 845-920-ALOE (2563) Hatzlucha!
For Electrical & lighting supplies co. No car necessary, commission only. Top $$ paid, male or female, work from home, partnership opportunities available. Call: 212.662.1300
Excellent SEIT P3 opening in Williamsburg full time, excellent pay potential. Email: scaplan@yeled.org Or call: 917.968.2292
PLAYGROUP TEACHER
Are you a warm and caring mommy/Bobby looking for a job from 9-3? This opportunity is just for you! Looking for a reliable playgroup teacher for a home daycare. Call for more details. 347-766-5167
There’s a big demand for someone in Williamsburg to sell Forever Living products. Join my team and I will iyh forward you potential customers. Great support. 347-278-2968
Hiring experienced recruiters! With a clear path to earn $100k+ while working part-time. in-office only. Email resume to TopCareerNY@gmail.com
GREAT OPPORTUNITY
Have HR/recruiting experience? Earn $65K+ part-time! Email ProRecruiterNY@gmail.com to apply.
us Excellent telephone, interpersonal and verbal communication skills.
After 28 years of powering possibilities for businesses and institutions worldwide, Fidelity under a new name: Sola. As one of the largest electronic payment providers in North America, Sola offers advanced processing tools for business owners across all channels — in-person, online, and mobile. We deliver customizable end-to-end technology solutions across various business verticals, bridging connections in the global marketplace.
LOCATIONS
Brooklyn Navy Yard, Brooklyn, NY 141 Flushing Ave, Suite 501, 11205 Howell, NJ 465 Oak Glen Rd, 07731 Boro Park, Brooklyn, NY 4013 13th Ave, 11218
Chani Saks
P (718) 782-2823 x426
E csaks@solapayments.com
For more information or to apply, send your resume to: Visit us at solapayments.com
•
•
Banking Services Representative Williamsburg/Boro Park Office Location
• Handle all account transactions such as rate updates, information changes and closing accounts.
• Pricing Analysis Representative Williamsburg Office Location
• Strong problem-solving and negotiation skills; handle difficult calls, identify & resolve/escalate complex problems.
• Analyze financial income, profit & loss statements from financial funding institutions
• Provide a detailed profit & loss analysis from the statements
• Meticulous attention to detail needed to provide an accurate data analysis and excellent mathematical analysis and application skills required to crunch the numbers
Deployments Representative Williamsburg Office Location
• Work with our inventory management system to deploy and fulfill accounts/equipment and orders
Set up & Troubleshoot and rectify issues to ensure complete customer satisfaction
• Must be able to communicate clearly and efficiently both over the phone and in writing
Must be able to work independently with minimal supervision using pre-set company policies, procedures, and standards as well as contractual agreements as guidelines for interaction and activity
JOB OPPORTUNITY
Do you have your BA? Would you like a job that is fulfilling and flexible? Please email jobforba@gmail.com or call 347-452-4816
Warm and fun home daycare opening now in the heart of Williamsburg on Rutledge St corner Lee Ave. Call today to reserve a slot for your child. You both deserve it. 3475253632
LIGHT ALTERATIONS
Please Call: 718.450.4700
TAILORING AND ALTERATIONS SERVICES
Sewing designer gowns for young married sis of bride, post high school girls. Your Tailor will come to you, for Bridal, Hems, Suits, highest quality personalized tailoring experience from start to finish. Fitting & delivery free. Rush Alterations, garment repair services . Great, reasonable prices. Call for appointment 347-754-1413.
JOURNALING CLASS
Dini Ettinger is continuing her Journaling group sessions - covered by insurance! Join creative, supportive phone/ Zoom sessions that foster growth and healing. Call/ Text Miriam: 845-290-9586 Email: info@dejournaling. com
FURNITURE REPAIRS
Cabinet & General Repairs, specializing in ChosonKallah Apt. Call: 718.633.6231
VAN FOR RENT
Refrigerated van for rent daily or weekly with or without a driver. Call or Text: Eli 516.270.6755
REMOVE EYIN HORA
A baby, a simcha, a new lease in town? Call Ayin BeAyin so things dont chalila go down! Call Today 718-400-AYIN (2946) www.ayinbeayin. com
KITCHEN
Kitchen cabinet hinges, tracks, drawer boxes, garbage pull outs replaced at reasonable prices. Call Mr. Likht 917-817-6981
NEW WEBSITE?
Get your new beautiful website done hassle free! Affordable pricing! Satisfaction guaranteed! Email: sales@ stratadigitalgroup.com
PROFESSIONAL COACH
Heal your life. Heal your body. Heal your past. Experienced. Successful. Personable. Expertise in anxiety, panic and trauma. Mrs. Esty Frank 7188518636
WOOD REPAIR
Professional transformation to ur kitchen cabinets thru design & color chg. Also revamp, repair estate furn, drm chairs, bdrms, libraries, & ext wood doors. Best price, svc & decorators consult txt or call 212-991-8548.
AYIN BEAYIN
Save Ayin BeAyin in your phonebook. You don’t know… who’s giving that look! Call 718-400-AYIN (2946) Today www. ayinbeayin.com
MAKEUP ARTIST
Certified makeup artist for all your special occasions. Call: Yides Neuwirth 917.309.6000 718.858.0815
AYIN HORAH
The renowned Rebetzin Aidel Miller from Yerushalayim Is always available to remove Ayin Horah over the phone. Call: 718.689.1902 or 516.300.1490
GARTLECH
We fix knitted & crochet Gartlech & make beautiful professional fringes. We also teach how to knit & crochet. Please call: 917-414-3281
GARTLECH
Beautiful HANDMADE
GARTLECH, Hand crochet, Hand knit, Silks & more with beautiful Gartel bag. Text or call: 718.283.4589 Wholesale orders available.
CONSTRUCTION
Bathrooms, kitchens, closets, decks, extensions, additions, Basements, all electrical, plumbing, Carpentry. Lowest prices, fastest service. Call:718.951.0090
ELECTRICIAN
All Electrical work, outlets, switches, fixtures, new lines for washer/dryer or air conditions, shabbos clocks, circut breakers. Call:718.951.0090
WHOLESALE FISH
Buy by the case & save. Baby & Regular Salmon. Hashgucha Volove Rav. Free delivery to your home. Call Eli: 516.270.6755
SELL YOUR BUSINESS
Sell your business for top dollar - $0 upfront fees. Call/Text/WA 732-800-7633 Office@ SwiftScquisitionsGroup.com
HANDYMAN & PAINTING
Experienced & Reliable handyman. Small jobs our specialty! Plumbing, Electric, construction, Locksmith, painting, plastering. Shabbos clocks, outlets/switches, call: 347.275.5408
Professional photo editing, many years of experience. Special rates for photographers. Also specializing in Custom photo albums Chosson, wedding, etc. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153
CUSTOM PHOTO ALBUMS
Specializing in Custom Photo Albums, Chosson, Wedding, etc. Also professional Photo Editing, many years of experience. Special rate for photographers. Photo Dreams 347.563.5153
WHOLESALE SPOTLIGHTS
We sell Spotlights, twice as bright for half the price. We also sell Smoke & Carbon Monoxide detectors with 10 year battery suitable for Section 8. Free Delivery. Call: 718.951.0061
PROFESSIONAL RESUMES
That Get You Hired. Job Placement Assistance
Included. Email: Info@ SwiftStaffingGroup.com
VAN SERVICE
Yossi`s Van Service, 15 Passenger van, Local & long distance, Airports & delivery. Call: 718.962.4664
Breastpump Gemach 718599-0721
Lights for your simchas. Minimal fee 718-854-2404
Twin carriage 718-522-3891 “the organizer” 917-232-8614
Introducing for the first time in Williamsburg! New designer gowns & brand name Simcha wear at great prices. We are also offering designer fashion & timeless pieces that redefine elegance, in our beautiful luxurios salon located conveniently on Kent Ave. Ready sis of bride & groom & Mechitaniste gown for fabulous prices. Please join us & elevate your style. For an appointment 347-7018061
lady hanging earring July 13, most probably on Bedford ave 925-548-3020
small black quilted carriage bag with camera inside 646961-6358
Gold kate spade charm in front of Ginas Esther 347529-6773
envelope with cash before the summer in Ishop Walton location. Call 718-486-0401 or 718-674-4449
two wheeler 929-585-2905
Ebel watch 646-441-7363
gold and black necklace in mozzarella before the summer Call or text 3476162509
Benefit card with name Rachel Kaufman 718-3875692
evening bag with $ in keser raizel June 2025 call/text 3473971169
Little Luxury bag with new items Aug 8 Bedford corner Penn 347-243-1889
grey Bugaboo Butterfly carriage plastic Lee/Flushing 2nd night Pesach 917-6765815
Brochos cards for Moshiach’s arrival at moshiachbrochoscards@ gmail.com. Endorsed by Gedolei Yisroel
Microwave and 30” SS range hood in great condition 347451-7410
4 boxes chucks 347-563-0351
Master bedroom set, glass top kitchen table, DR 2 curios, buffet, and table 347-743-6771
beautiful bedroom set, in great condition, 48” beds with mattresses, stunning chest and night table 929441-4468
APARTMENT EXCHANGE FOR SIMCHAS TORAH
Looking to exchange Monsey 4 BR House, Twin Ave Area for 3 Bedroom Apt in Williamsburg. Please call 845-371-9362.
• Blooming Grove area
• 4 min drive from Supermarket
• Close to Shul and Mikvah
• Beautiful Grounds
• 5 Bedrooms, 17 Beds
• Fresh Linen and towels included
• Full Kosher Kitchen (hot plate, hot water, candles, havdala) Email: Serenestays7@gmail.com Whatsapp/call/text 845.923.3032
AWD Leather Seating, Power Trunk, Wireless Charging Pad, Blind Spot Intervention, 12.3 Inch Display, ProPilot Assist, Wireless Apple CarPlay, Wireless Android Auto, Heated Seats, Remote Start and Much More!
Wercberger