The Apiary: A TBF Zine

APIARY ISSUE 1: BEGINNINGS

EDITORS NOTE

On Starting the Apiary

By

Claudia Mallea

“I need a new project,” I told a friend, who was telling me about their new music and art ventures.” “Well, I have the zine,” I explained about The Bee Foundation For Brain Aneurysm Prevention, How I pitched the zine to Erin, first explaining what a zine was.

“I can do it, and it matters. And those are the two most important considerations when starting a new project.” “Unless it's fun,” they said.

I readily agreed that something being fun is often reason enough to start something, even if that thing is either impossible or unimportant.

I stand by my glib quip to my friend. Something is worth doing if it is within my abilities and matters. No point starting something I cannot finish, and I should only do what needs doing, what makes an impact. It is my hope The Apiary fits that description and is fun to boot.

Starting something, on the whole, is easier and more fun than continuing or finishing it, but that’s why we have help. So I am proud to have the support of The Bee Foundation, particularly my fellow TBF Ambassadors.

On the day as the call for submissions to this zine was posted, I started a new job, after not working for almost 2 years since my aneurysm rupture. The weekend before my first day I was profoundly nauseous and almost shaking with fear, but my first day went great with no real problems. and I thought I was all set for the working life again. and then in my second week, I worked alone in the office the day before Thanksgiving. The day went okay but I left after a nearly 10 hour day thanks to paratransit. I got in an Access-aride and immediately began panicking that I didn't lock the door right or left a light on. I burst into exhausted tears and cried all the way back to my home. That's how beginnings are sometimes. They can be deceptively easy or hard. It’s hard to tell when you really start something. The real beginning comes after a honeymoon period. So this is our honeymoon issue, short and sweet.

Apiary(noun): a place where bees are kept especially: a collection of hives or colonies of bees kept for their honey Merriam Webster

Our Mission

The Bee Foundation for Brain Aneurysm Prevention is dedicated to saving lives and providing hope by funding preventative research, raising awareness, advocating for better policy, and supporting aneurysm families and survivors

TBF AMBASSSDORS

The TBF Ambassadors are a community of individuals impacted by brain aneurysms and dedicated making meaningful connections to provide support and raise awareness.

TBF ZINE

The TBF Zine (short, self-published magazine) titled The Apiary; will feature visual art and writing, published quarterly. The work in this Zine need not be about aneurysms. Each issue will have a theme, and community members can submit work about or in response to that theme.

TBF Bee of Hope

Every day, bees achieve the seemingly impossible. Working tirelessly as a tightly knit community, they fertilize and renew in relentless pursuit of their mission. Like the bee, we are committed to achieving what many have called impossible. Together we build on shared expertise and the experiences of our integrated family to deliver lifesaving hope, healing

Saving Lives, Providing Hope

WALKING INTO MY NEW LIFE P

Katie Morelli

I had this photo taken for my 35th birthday. A birthday that my AVM could have prevented me from reaching. This photoshoot was a gift to myself for survival. A walk with my best friend.

Walking into my new life with my best friend.

Diana L. Creaturo

“Is it sad for you?”

“Yes. Heartbreaking. Is it sad for you?”

“I don’t know.”

“You never do.”

“Is it time to say goodbye?”

“I don’t want to. I’m not ready. You?”

“I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

“You never have.”

DREAM OF VICTORY

Catherine Navarro Lee

In my dreams I see it shine

The victory I walk towards to make mine

The terrain is rough

This is harder than I planned

As I climb, my feet are sinking in the sand

I am losing breath

I am faltering behind

Is this real or only in mind

My eyes then open from my sleep

The emotions so raw and deep

How could that have been just a dream

I look around to see a rising sunbeam

A new day to refresh

I still don’t want the victory any less

Alas the reset has given me fuel to start anew

Strategizing the path for what I must do

Each new dawn brings a sense of rebirth

DREAM OF VICTORY

Reminding me of my values and worth

When the task ahead seems too hard

And waves of doubt start to creep in

A voice resounds from where I have been

Something within tells me not to give in

A relentless spirit arises from the dim

It wasn’t all just a dream

It is where my soul has been

In my sleep and in my wake

The thirst for victory is too intense to shake

My hunger to continue on and grow

This victory is within me

In my gut I know

As I awaken from my rest

I continue to rise forward with my best

A phoenix getting ready to spread its wings

Ready for all life brings

P A G E 0 8 BEFORE & AFTER

Erin Kreszl, Reflection from September 11th, 2021

This weekend marks incredible loss for so many people. I often feel as though I’m not worthy to grieve on this day. Despite coming from a family of New Yorkers…I wasn’t there, I didn’t lose a loved one, I didn’t witness the horror. I was in Hamilton, New York, in the sheltered classroom of Colgate University. At 20 years old I obviously had no idea the impact that day had the thousands of other Americans who were in New York on that day, including my sister and two uncles, and whose lives changed forever. What I do grieve though, is the loss of believing that we are undeniably safe. We were reminded that our freedom has a price…one that we gladly pay.

For so many that day marked a Before and After. The day where everything changed, where you categorize your life into two buckets, life before x and life after x. I have two of those events in my life, but today I’ll tell you about one. Today is Jenny’s birthday. She would be 35, which sounds so much different than the young age of 27 when she left us. The Before and After for me is Jenny. Life before Jenny died and life after Jenny died. She wasn’t my sister, daughter, best friend…she was my cousin and I thought she’d always be there. I am still awestruck at the magnitude her loss had on my life, not only personally but professionally. Jenny gave me and my sister, Christine, the gift of The Bee Foundation. A gift I wish I didn’t receive every day, but one I would not know what to do without. We channeled our grief into building an organization that strives to one day prevent the very disease that we lost Jenny to. With the help of so many along the way, The Bee Foundation is spreading awareness, funding research enacting policy and fostering a strong support community dedicated to preventing brain aneurysm ruptures.

BEFORE & AFTER

The growth of The Bee Foundation in just 8 years is a testament to the lack of resources dedicated to this devastating disease that affects 1 in 50 people. What has touched me the most though has been the opportunity to meet so many of you through our Share Your Story campaign and our Virtual Support Groups. The importance of shared experience is often overlooked but can be lifesaving during recovery. I am so thankful that The Bee Foundation is providing a service to those affected by this disease, either as family who has experienced a loss, as a survivor or as a caretaker.

I’ll leave you with a message of Thanks on this somber weekend. Thank you to our Donors, Team Members, Board of Directors, Scientific Advisory Board, Policy Advisors, Ambassadors, Researchers. Thank you to our friends and family – mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins – for always supporting us in many more ways than one. But a special thanks to all those of you who reached out and placed your trust in us to Share Your Story. I know many of you are battling grief, depression, anxiety, and much more as a result of this devastating disease. It is so hard, but remember we can do hard things…we are here for you. September is Brain Aneurysm Awareness month and The Bee Foundation has one ask. If you have been touched by a brain aneurysm….talk about it, share your experience.

Happy Birthday

Jenny…I hope you are proud, we love you

CLAUDIA MALLEA (she/her) |

Editor

A writer/archivist/librarian from Brooklyn, NY. She is a survivor of AVM and brain aneurysm rupture. Her work has been featured in a NYC theater production, Raw Lit Issue 3 and Bullshit Lit Online Features. She writes a monthly Digest of Cool Articles, Cool Article Club. She is a member of the NY Caring Majority, a coalition of care workers, seniors and people with disabilities advocating for fair pay for care workers, Co-chair of the JFREJ Disability Justice Caucus, and an ambassador to The Bee Foundation.

DIANA L. CREATURO

Diana holds an MFA in Creative Writing. She is a brain aneurysm survivor and adenomyosis warrior. A lover of books, poetry, letters, music, animals, astrology, tarot and all things vegan. She lives in Westchester County NY and can be found writing at home while listening to music. Her work has appeared in Mookychick (October 2020) and she is a blog writer for The Bee Foundation.

KATIE MORELLI

A wife, dog mom and survivor of AVM.

CATHERINE NAVARO LEE

A storyteller that loves sharing narratives in various forms. She is an actress and host as well as a writer and digital content creator. Her favorite stories are those that question the status quo and encourage empathy while also delivering a good hearty laugh. In addition, Catherine is a brain aneurysm survivor and has written about her experience with The Bee Foundation blog. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two daughters.

ERIN

KRESZL | TBF Executive Director

A mom, wife, sister and daughter, but most importantly a friend. She is co-founder and Executive Director to The Bee Foundation For Brain Aneurysm Prevention (TBF). Inspired by the life of her cousin Jennifer Sedney, she is dedicated to preventing brain aneurysm ruptures and is rejuvenated every day by the strength of the TBF community. Erin has never seen herself as a writer or creative, however has found her voice by advocating for this beloved community. She lives in Wayne, PA with her husband and two daughters, and is thankful to have many family and friends nearby.