December 2025 | Baltimore Beacon

IN FOCUS FOR PEOPLE OVER

Six-minute dates for 50+ singles

By Laura Sturza

If you’re single and keep telling yourself, “I’ve got to put myself out there if I’m going to meet someone,” speed dating may be for you.

This unique dating format offers the chance to meet multiple singles in your age range in a single evening.

You won’t be alone in trying it out.

“The 50 and up crowd is our fastest growing clientele,” said Paloma Campbell, a coordinating assistant with Maryland Singles Social Club, which runs events in Baltimore, Howard, Prince George’s and Montgomery counties.

Each event is held at a different bar, hotel or restaurant, typically in a private area. A host welcomes everyone and gives them a nametag — along with some encouragement.

Often the women stay seated at tables while the men rotate from one table to the next, allowing people to meet as many as 16 prospects in six- to eight-minute minidates. When the time is up, the host signals for half of the guests to change seats and meet someone new.

People who have tried speed dating tend to enjoy it even if they don’t meet the love of their life.

“It was kind of fun — it was definitely exciting. It gave me that school-dance-butterflies feeling,” said Linda R. (last name withheld for privacy), 56, whose husband passed away in 2007.

At the end of each mini-date, participants indicate whether they would like to share their contact information with the person they have just met. If it’s mutual, the organizers then connect them: Within 24 to 48 hours, participants receive an email with the contact information of the people they liked. They can take it from there.

“One of the nice things about speed dating is, people are polite, respectful, nice to each other, so even if there isn’t a match, it’s a chance to just meet new people — as opposed to online, where people ghost you,” said 61-year-old Mark Gianturco, who has been to two events.

Hope after divorce

For many older adults, a return to the dating world often comes after another relationship ends.

Gianturco divorced three years ago after 33 years of marriage. His three adult daughters are rooting for him to find a partner for the next chapter of his life, he said.

“I plan on finding a partner and hopefully having a lifelong relationship,” Gianturco said, but explained that it has so far been difficult to meet people.

“It’s not the paradigm anymore that you go shopping and meet the love of [your] life. I’m sure it happens, but the social dynamics are different…I hope I find my person.”

While he hasn’t yet found the woman of his dreams, Gianturco still considers his speed dating experiences a success. After all, he put himself out there, along with everyone else who attended. Doing so, he believes, has brought him one step closer to meeting his match.

Authentic interactions

While many might find the idea of speed dating daunting, others are ready to try it, especially those who have been disappointed in their attempts to meet someone through friends, shared interest groups, or dating apps such as SilverSingles and SeniorMatch.

Gianturco prefers speed dating to dating apps because he says meeting someone in person provides nuance that is lacking in online dating. During short, face-to-face encounters, he said, “You’ve exchanged much more information than you would with endless days of texting, and the information you exchange is richer.”

There is another advantage to this inperson dating approach: authenticity. Gianturco has encountered a few women who misrepresented themselves online,

LEISURE & TRAVEL

The Faroe Islands blend grandeur with serenity; plus, Madrid’s lively streets and museums awaken the senses page 15

ARTS & STYLE

It’s the Baltimore Choral Arts Society’s big season; plus, a haiku writer and our new advice column, Love After 50 page 18

At a speed dating event held by Pre-Dating Speed Dating, couples spend a few minutes getting to know each other and then move on. Many singles over 50 say they enjoy the experience even if they don’t make a love connection.

A time for thanks

I want to thank the thousands of readers and their guests who attended our 26th annual 50+Expo events in Maryland and Virginia recently.

Our entire staff spent months preparing our Expos, which offered attendees numerous health screenings, important vaccinations, and nearly 150 exhibitors, including government agencies, nonprofits and area businesses sharing information, resource materials, volunteer opportunities and gobs of chocolate and useful giveaways.

with you, catch up on your lives, and hear your views on the issues of the day. More than one of you told me you have attended each of our Expos for more than 20 years!

FROM THE PUBLISHER

By Stuart P. Rosenthal

I was especially happy to see so many familiar faces and to have a chance to speak

BEACON BITS

Dec. 22+

SONGWRITER MEETUP

Of course, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that one of the best parts was hearing all the glowing compliments people shared with me about the Beacon, our writers, our sales staff and the events themselves. On a personal note, several took me aside to tell me how one of my recent columns had affected them or members of their family. I was very touched by that.

This monthly songwriter night takes place at Manor Mill, 2029 Monkton Rd., on Mon., Dec. 22 from 7 to 9 p.m., and every fourth Monday of each month. Whether you’re a lyricist, a melody writer or both, you’re welcome to explore songwriting, find a collaborator, learn about making demos and more. It’s free. For more information and to sign up, visit manor-mill.com/songwriters or call (410) 842-5590.

The Beacon is a monthly newspaper dedicated to inform, serve, and entertain the citizens of the Greater Baltimore area, and is privately owned. Other editions serve Howard County, Md. and Greater Washington, D.C.

Subscriptions are available via third-class mail ($20), prepaid with order. Maryland residents add 6 percent for sales tax. Send subscription order to the office listed below. Publication of advertising contained herein does not necessarily constitute endorsement. Signed columns represent the opinions of the writers, and not necessarily the opinion of the publisher.

Publisher/Editor Emeritus – Stuart P. Rosenthal

President/Associate Publisher – Judith K. Rosenthal

Executive Vice President – Gordon Hasenei

Editor – Margaret Foster

Art Director – Kyle Gregory

Vice President of Operations – Roger King

Advertising Representatives

Jill Joseph, Steve Levin, M.K. Phillips, Alan Spiegel

Assistant Editor – Ana Preger Hart

Editorial Assistant – Tori Cleveland

Our exhibitors were equally happy to have the opportunity to meet so many active older adults who were sincerely interested in the housing communities, health providers, financial and legal advisors, recreation and travel opportunities, and community resources that participated.

I want to thank our hard-working staff for putting together these fantastic events. I also want to thank our gold sponsors: AARP Virginia and Giant Pharmacy who, together with our many other sponsors, made the free events possible.

In addition, Giant deserves special thanks for providing a variety of vaccines and health screenings. We also thank new exhibitor, Georgetown University Ophthalmology Department, for offering glaucoma screenings this year.

We are already making plans for next fall’s Expos and intend for them to be even bigger and better than this year’s.

As we enter the holiday season and the year draws to a close, I want to add here my thanks to, and admiration for, everyone on the Beacon staff. It takes diligent work from each of them to keep our printed publications and website brimming with useful content (and relevant advertis-

ing) month after month.

I’d like to thank each of them here by name: Executive Vice President Gordon Hasenei ; Vice President of Operations Roger King; Art Director Kyle Gregory; Editor Margaret Foster; Assistant Editor Ana Preger Hart; Editorial Assistant Tori Cleveland ; Advertising Representatives Jill Joseph, Steve Levin, M.K. Phillips and Alan Spiegel; and, of course, my wife, the Beacon’s President and Associate Publisher, Judy Rosenthal.

The Beacon would not exist without all of their efforts — nor without you who read our publications each month. I offer my sincere appreciation to each of you, too!

Please keep reading the Beacon and encourage your friends to do so as well. And when you call or visit any of our advertisers, please be sure to mention where you saw their ads! It’s their support that keeps the Beacon free.

I wish you and yours a happy and healthy holiday season and new year.

Letters to the editor

Readers are encouraged to share their opinions on any matter addressed in the Beacon as well as on political and social issues of the day. Mail your Letter to the Editor to The Beacon, P.O. Box 2227, Silver Spring, MD 20915, or email info@thebeaconnewspapers.com. Please include your name, address and telephone number for verification.

Dear Editor:

Concerning last month’s From the Publisher column (“How we learn to be afraid”), some advice would be to say, “Excuse me” when passing someone in a store.

In the retirement community where I live, residents say “Hello” when passing from behind. Once, when I walked past someone without saying anything, the person said, “Some people here are so rude!”

Since then, I join others in greeting everyone here with a hello and/or a wave, and a hello when walking past someone. I sometimes just avoid passing people who walk slowly because I would not gain that much time by walking past them.

Regarding a different column a few months ago regarding near-death experiences, I did have an experience that, at the time, I attributed to a dream. But the experience was unlike a dream. However, I had free will to break from the magnetic pull. Name withheld by request Catonsville, MD

Dear Editor:

That was a wonderful article about Vinnie Myers, the tattoo artist in Finksburg (“Tattooist helps cancer survivors,” November 2025).

at ease throughout the process. Although we had the option to use the hospital’s tattoo artist at no cost, we decided to go to Vinnie based on his reputation for excellence. It was absolutely the right choice.

We would wholeheartedly recommend him to anyone seeking post-mastectomy tattoo work. He truly is the best.

Thomas J. Iacoboni Sparks, MD

Dear Editor:

I just read your article on how to prevent falls and fall injuries, and it was super helpful!

I just volunteered at a senior center, and I took your advice on preventing slips and trips. Most of the seniors were at risk, so I made sure I was careful when leading them to their next activity.

For example, I adjusted any rugs I thought were in the way or were a slipping hazard during a morning exercise session. I brought out chairs for those who needed a little extra support.

Using your warnings and advice, I am now more observant and cautious of my surroundings. Thank you for writing your article of caution.

Teague Schneider

of publication. See page 23 for classified advertising details. Please mail or email all submissions. © Copyright 2025 The Beacon Newspapers, Inc.

My wife is a cancer survivor, and she chose to have her breast tattoos done by Vinnie. We couldn’t be happier with the results. Vinnie made both of us feel completely

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The Family & Nursing Care Difference

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based on six pillars: l inf 1. Strengthen socia frrastructure. Creaatte communities and institutions — including parks, libraries, playgrounds, and a programs — thattbring people together. communityy.

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can become close confi ants and provide older adults with an outlet and space to share f feeelings, thoughts, and stories. Loneliness can be curbed with something as simple as sharing a meal or having regular conversations. Caregivers and clients often develop a faf connection like that o frriend or family member.

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Health Fitness &

Health Fitness &

If you have knee or leg pain, here’s what it could be — and what helps

To stay healthy, get sleep, lower stress, avoid junk food and everyday toxins

T R A C K Y O U R M E M O R Y

Monitor your cognitive health over time with a “Webstudy” every few months

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Don’t take over-the-counter laxatives every day; they can harm your heart

Music could ease pain from surgery or illness

By Christina Larson

Nurse Rod Salaysay works with all kinds of instruments in the hospital: a thermometer, a stethoscope and sometimes a guitar or ukulele.

In the recovery unit of UC San Diego Health, Salaysay helps patients manage pain after surgery. Along with medications, he offers tunes on request and sometimes sings. His repertoire ranges from folk songs in English and Spanish to Minuet in G Major and movie favorites like “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

Patients often smile or nod along. Salaysay even sees changes in their vital signs like lower heart rate and blood pressure, and some request fewer painkillers.

“There’s often a cycle of worry, pain, anxiety in a hospital,” he said, “but you can help break that cycle with music.”

Over the past two decades, live performances and recorded music have flowed into hospitals and doctors’ offices as research grows on how songs can help ease pain.

How music affects pain perception

The healing power of song may sound intuitive given music’s deep roots in human culture. But the science of whether and how music dulls acute and chronic pain — technically called music-induced analgesia — is just catching up.

No one suggests that a catchy song can fully eliminate serious pain. But several re-

cent studies, including in the journals Pain and Scientific Reports, have suggested that listening to music can either reduce the perception of pain or enhance a person’s ability to tolerate it.

What seems to matter most is that patients — or their families — make the music selections themselves and listen intently, not just as background noise.

Levels of pain vary

Two people with the same condition or injury may feel vastly different levels of acute or chronic pain. Or the same person might experience pain differently from one day to the next.

“Pain is a really complex experience,” said Adam Hanley, a psychologist at Florida State University. “It’s created by a physical sensation, and by our thoughts about that sensation and emotional reaction to it.”

Acute pain is felt when pain receptors in a specific part of the body — like a hand on a hot stove — send signals to the brain, which processes the short-term pain.

Chronic pain usually involves long-term structural or other changes to the brain, which heighten overall sensitivity to pain signals. Researchers are still investigating how this occurs.

“Pain is interpreted and translated by the brain,” which may ratchet the signal up or down, said Dr. Gilbert Chandler, a special-

ist in chronic spinal pain at the Tallahassee Orthopedic Clinic.

Researchers know music can draw attention away from pain, lessening the sensation. But studies also suggest that listening to preferred music helps dull pain more than listening to podcasts.

“Music is a distractor. It draws your focus away from the pain. But it’s doing more than that,” said Caroline Palmer, a psychologist at McGill University who studies music and pain.

Scientists are still tracing the various neural pathways at work, said Palmer.

“We know that almost all of the brain becomes active when we engage in music,” said Kate Richards Geller, a registered music therapist in Los Angeles. “That changes the perception and experience of pain — and the isolation and anxiety of pain.”

Music genres and active listening

The idea of using recorded music to lessen pain associated with dental surgery began in the late 19th century, before local anesthetics were available. Today researchers are studying what conditions make music most effective.

Researchers at Erasmus University Rotterdam in the Netherlands conducted a study on 548 participants to see how listening to five genres of music — classical, rock, pop, urban and electronic — extended their ability to withstand acute pain, as measured by

exposure to very cold temperatures.

All music helped, but there was no single winning genre.

“The more people listened to a favorite genre, the more they could endure pain,” said co-author Dr. Emy van der Valk Bouman. “A lot of people thought that classical music would help them more. Actually, we are finding more evidence that what’s best is just the music you like.”

The exact reasons are still unclear, but it may be because familiar songs activate more memories and emotions, she said.

Active, focused listening also seems to matter.

Hanley, the Florida State psychologist, co-authored a preliminary study suggesting daily attentive listening might reduce chronic pain.

“Music has a way of lighting up different parts of the brain,” he said, “so you’re giving people this positive emotional bump that takes their mind away from the pain.”

It’s a simple prescription with no side effects, some doctors now say.

Cecily Gardner, a jazz singer in Culver City, California, said she used music to help get through a serious illness and has sung to friends battling pain.

“Music reduces stress, fosters community,” she said, “and just transports you to a better place.”

© 2025 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.

Less butter, more plant oils, longer life?

By Francesca Coltrera

Not such good news for butter lovers like me: Seesawing research on the health risks of butter received a firm push from a recent Harvard study published in JAMA Internal Medicine. Drawing on decades of data gathered through long-term observational studies, the researchers investigated whether butter and plant oils affect mortality.

One basic takeaway? “A higher intake of butter increases mortality risk, while a higher intake of plant-based oil will lower it,” said Yu Zhang, lead author of the study.

As it turns out, choosing to substitute certain plant oils for butter might help people live longer.

What did the study find?

The researchers divided participants into four groups based on how much butter and plant oils they reported using on dietary questionnaires. They compared deaths among those consuming the highest amounts of butter or plant oils with those consuming the least, over a period of up to 33 years.

Plant oils won out handily. A 15% higher risk of death was seen among those who ate the most butter compared with those who ate the least. A 16% lower risk of death was seen among those who consumed the highest amount of plant oils compared with those who consumed the least.

Higher butter intake also raised risk for cancer deaths. And higher plant oil intake

cut the risk for dying from cancer or cardiovascular disease like stroke or heart attack.

While the study looked at five plant oils, only soybean, canola and olive oil were linked with survival benefits. Swapping out a small amount of butter in the daily diet — about 10 grams, which is slightly less than a tablespoon — for an equivalent amount of those plant-based oils was linked with fewer total deaths and fewer cancer deaths, according to a modeling analysis.

How could less butter improve health?

“Butter has almost no essential fatty acids and a modest amount of trans fat — the worst type of fat for cardiovascular dis-

ease,” Dr. Walter C. Willett, professor of epidemiology and nutrition at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, noted by email.

By contrast, the plant oils highlighted in this study are rich in antioxidants, essential fatty acids and unsaturated fats, which research has linked to healthier levels of cholesterol and triglycerides and lower insulin resistance.

Especially when substituted for a saturated fat like butter, plant oils also may help lower chronic inflammation within the body. Making such substitutions aligns

Tai chi may be best exercise for healthy aging

By Christy Bieber

If you’re getting older, martial arts may not be on your radar as an activity you should take up. In fact, when most people think about how they want to spend their days in retirement, activities like golf or gardening are more likely to come to mind.

Maybe that’s a mistake, though.

In fact, research from Harvard suggests that opting for a tai chi class over more traditional exercises, such as walking or swimming, could be the best way to stay fit after 60. Here’s why.

How tai chi helps aging

According to the Tai Chi Foundation, this ancient Chinese martial art is practiced at a slow pace and focuses on harmonizing the body and mind.

Its purpose is to help your “inner life energy” flow powerfully throughout the body, and it includes a heavy focus on fluid, graceful movement, deep breathing and mental concentration.

However, don’t underestimate this martial art just because it’s not a fast-paced exercise like cardio workouts.

“The slowness that you see from the outside can be deceptive,” said Dr. Peter Wayne,

Butter

From page 4

with American Heart Association recommendations and current Dietary Guidelines for Americans for healthful eating that lower risk for chronic disease.

And for the butter lovers? “A little butter occasionally for its flavor would not be a problem,” Dr. Willett said. “But for better health, use liquid plant oils whenever possible instead of butter for cooking and at the table.”

Try sampling a variety of plant oils, like different olive oils, mustard oil or sesame oil, to learn which ones you enjoy for different purposes, he suggests. Additionally, a blend or mix of butter with oils — or sometimes a bit of butter on its own — can satisfy taste buds.

Study limitations and strengths

The study crunched data collected through

research director of the Osher Center for Integrative Medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School.

Tai chi is equivalent to a brisk walk in terms of its aerobic potential, and may be more vigorous than training with weights, according to Wayne, who cited studies showing its benefits. It’s also been proven to offer these benefits:

• Help promote bone strength and joint stability.

• Improve cardiovascular health.

• Boost your immune system.

• Develop your emotional well-being.

• Boost your overall fitness levels.

• Improve cognitive function and focus.

It can also reduce falls by as much as 45%, which is an enormous benefit, as more than one in four older Americans falls each year. Parkinson’s patients, in particular, may benefit from improvements in balance by practicing tai chi.

Give tai chi a try

While this long list of benefits may sound like an infomercial for a too-good-to-be-true weight-loss system, the reality is that tai chi’s benefits are backed by real science. Experts believe tai chi offers more health

a questionnaire answered every four years by more than 221,000 adults participating in the Nurses’ Health Study, Nurses’ Health Study II and Health Professionals Follow-Up Study.

As is true of all observational studies, this type of research can’t prove cause and effect, although it adds to the body of evidence. Because most participants were white healthcare professionals, the findings may not apply to a wider population.

The researchers adjusted for many variables that can affect health, including age, physical activity, smoking status and family history of illnesses like cancer and diabetes. What makes the study strong are the size of the study, the length of followup and multiple adjustments like these.

Francesca Coltrera is the editor of the Harvard Health Blog.

© 2025 Harvard University. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

benefits than many other forms of exercise, while still being well-suited for older adults.

“You don’t have to have a health issue to do tai chi. But if you do, you should find a way to incorporate tai chi into some part of your life,” Wayne said in his book, The Harvard Medical School Guide to Tai Chi.

The good news is, you can find online instructions for getting started with tai chi if you want to give the practice a try. You can sign up for an online class on the Tai Chi Foundation website or explore their free videos at taichifoundation.org/videos. YouTube also offers a number of free videos, some of which include “chair” tai chi if you need to exercise in a seated position.

You may also be able to find a class in your area that’s geared toward older adults,

and Silver Sneakers may cover the costs if you have a qualifying Medicare Advantage plan. In fact, Senior Planet from AARP and Silver Sneakers offer online tai chi classes that you can take from home.

Be sure to consult your doctor before starting any new type of exercise, including tai chi.

While you likely won’t be the next Michelle Yeoh, who at 59 performed her own martial arts fight scenes in the film Everything Everywhere All at Once, you can certainly take a tip from her and practice tai chi daily. You may just find that your physical and mental health improve, and that you feel more powerful as you age.

© 2025 The Kiplinger Washington Editors, Inc. All rights reserved. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

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INFORMATION

For free materials about area housing communities, just complete and clip this coupon and mail, or take a picture and email, to the Beacon

Housing Communities

o Brightview (see ad on page 7)

o Caritas House Assisted Living (see ad on page 10)

o Catholic Charities Senior Communities (see ad on page 10)

o Charlestown/Erickson (see ad on page 6)

o Christ Church Harbor Apts (see ad on page 5)

o Oak Crest/Erickson (see ad on page 6)

o Park View Laurel (see ad on page 21)

o Park View Towson (see ad on page 21)

o Park View Fullerton (see ad on page 21)

o Park View Rosedale (see ad on page 21)

o Pickersgill (see ad on page 8)

o St. Mary’s Roland View Towers (see ad on page 11)

o Virginia Towers (see ad on page 19)

o Warren Place Senior Apartments (see ad on page 13)

o Westminster House (see ad on page 19)

Clinical Health Studies

o Exercise & Sleep Study/mPATH (see ad on page 8)

Check the boxes you’re interested in and return this form to: The Beacon, P.O. Box 2227, Silver Spring, MD 20915 or take a picture and email to housing@thebeaconnewspapers.com.

What to do about knee pain or leg pain

By Howard LeWine, M.D.

Q: I have osteoarthritis in both knees. The left knee is especially painful and stiff. When should a person consider getting knee injections?

A: People can often manage the pain and improve mobility with lifestyle changes, such as weight loss, physical therapy, and exercises focusing on joint movement and strengthening leg muscles.

Taking occasional over-the-counter or prescription pain relievers or anti-inflammatory medicines also can help. These can be taken in pill form or topically (applied to the skin).

But if these strategies don’t offer sufficient relief, or if symptoms impede your ability to move freely, an injection can provide immediate pain relief, reduce inflammation and increase mobility.

But not everyone improves, and even if they are helpful, injections are a temporary treatment that won’t cure your knee osteoarthritis or change its course.

If you must rely on repeated injections for pain management and help with mobility, then it’s probably time to consider a knee replacement.

There are two main types of injections for knee osteoarthritis: corticosteroids and hyaluronic acid.

Corticosteroid injections (also known as

steroid shots) contain a manufactured drug that resembles cortisol, a hormone the adrenal glands produce. They reduce inflammation, pain and swelling in and around the knee joint. If the knee is swollen, your doctor may first remove excess fluid with a needle.

Joints are surrounded by synovial fluid, which helps cushion and lubricate the moving parts of the knee. However, when cartilage is damaged from osteoarthritis, the body responds by overproducing synovial fluid, which leads to swelling. Removing fluid relieves pressure and swelling around the knee joint and makes the steroid injection more effective.

Once any excess fluid is removed, the corticosteroid (usually mixed with a numbing agent) is injected into the knee joint. Relief from the numbing agent kicks in right away, while the corticosteroid takes about 24 hours to start working on your symptoms.

The corticosteroid injection’s effect can last from several weeks to months. Repeat injections can be given every three to four months. But over time, they may work less well and for shorter periods.

A hyaluronic acid injection is usually recommended if corticosteroid injections don’t work, or the person needs to avoid injected corticosteroids.

Hyaluronic acid is a natural component of

the synovial fluid in the joints. As osteoarthritis advances, hyaluronic acid decreases, which makes synovial fluid thinner and less effective. This can increase pain and stiffness, as there’s less lubrication to help the knee joint move freely. The synthetic hyaluronic acid acts like oil on a rusty joint.

If the hyaluronic acid injection provides significant benefit, a follow-up injection may be given after six months.

Q: I develop left leg pain when I try to walk faster. If I stop, the pain quickly improves. I can start walking again, but at a very slow pace. What’s the usual cause?

A: The three most common reasons are peripheral artery disease, sciatica and lumbar spinal stenosis.

Peripheral artery disease (PAD) occurs when the arteries that carry blood to the leg muscles narrow, most often because of a buildup of fatty plaque.

The first PAD symptom typically is pain in one or both legs when walking that goes away when you slow down or stop.

When you walk, your leg muscles need more blood flow to deliver oxygen to the muscles. Narrowed leg arteries won’t allow the blood flow to increase, so the muscles hurt from a lack of oxygen.

Your doctor will feel the pulses in both legs and feet to identify any reduction in

blood flow. The next assessment is often a comparison of the blood pressures and blood flow in your legs versus your arms to calculate an ankle-brachial index.

Treatment starts with adopting a hearthealthy diet, not smoking, and continuing to walk. Over time, you should find that walking becomes easier and you have fewer rest periods. Eventually, you want to build up to walking for at least 30 minutes at a time, five times a week.

Sciatica is the term for pain that happens because of pinching or irritation anywhere along the route of the sciatic nerve, which runs from the spine through the buttock and down the leg. While increased pain with walking may be one person’s predominant symptom, usually there are other symptoms, such as low back pain and difficulty sitting.

Your doctor can often diagnose sciatica just based on your history and a physical exam. If the symptoms are severe or unusual, your doctor might order an imaging test, most often MRI.

Many people fear that activity will cause or worsen sciatica pain, but low-impact activity and exercise can help strengthen the areas along the nerve and prevent future attacks or at least lower their intensity and frequency.

Adopt these five wellness habits for life

By Francesca Coltrera

We often read conflicting advice on wellness. Quick fixes and fads may do little for our health, and some even prove harmful.

Dr. Wynne Armand, a primary care physician at Harvard-affiliated Mass General Brigham healthcare in Boston, recommends five simple habits to boost health and wellness in everyday life. We can all try to work these healthy habits into our daily routines.

Bring mindfulness into your day

Worrying too often about the past or future is rarely helpful. The too-frequent release of stress hormones affects our heart, brain and sleep, all of which have downstream consequences for our health.

Mindfulness and meditation are overlapping techniques proven to ease stress, improve sleep and enhance concentration.

Practicing mindfulness — whether simply by appreciating nature on a walk or using apps like Calm and Headspace — anchors you in the present moment. This can calm anxiety, improve focus and concentration and amp up positive feelings.

When applied to eating, mindfulness may help with weight loss by encouraging people to slow down to savor meals.

Meditation knits together body and mind by focusing on sensations, such as breathing, images or a repeated word or phrase.

One exercise that works equally well is “box breathing” (e.g., inhaling for four seconds, exhaling for four seconds). The rhythmic pattern of breathing helps regu-

Leg pain

From page 6

In lumbar spinal stenosis, the space inside the lowest part of the spinal canal narrows, usually from degeneration of discs, ligaments or any of the joints between the interlocking vertebrae that form the spine. This can put pressure on the nerve roots as they exit the spinal cord.

Pain that occurs only when walking may be the only symptom of lumbar spinal stenosis. Many people discover that immedi-

late the nervous system, reining in anxiety and stress, lowering heart rate and blood pressure and boosting mental focus.

Prioritize sleep

Sleeping poorly can take a toll on your health over time. Restful sleep supports the immune system, helps control weight and aids physical well-being, mental well-being, memory, judgment and other cognitive functions. It may even extend longevity.

To sleep well, get some exercise, set regular bedtime and wake-up times, avoid caffeine in the afternoon and evening and large meals and alcohol before bedtime, and turn off screens at least 30 minutes before going to bed.

Most adults need at least seven hours per night. However, sleep quality (a measure of refreshing, uninterrupted sleep versus tossing and turning) may be more important than nailing seven hours. And it’s worth noting that too much sleep — nine hours or more in one analysis of multiple studies — is linked to higher risk for early deaths.

If you have trouble falling asleep, wake repeatedly at night or often feel tired during the day, talk to your doctor.

Eat real, whole foods

A wealth of evidence shows that diets rich in vegetables, fruits, legumes and pulses like lentils, peas and beans — and minimally processed foods — support longevity and vitality. Plant-based and plant-forward diets are better for our health: Research links them

ately squatting or sitting helps lessen the pain. Other symptoms include pain in the lower back, groin, buttocks or upper thigh.

Again, it’s best to stay physically active with a walking program or riding a stationary bike.

Howard LeWine, M.D., is an internist at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School. For additional consumer health information, see health.harvard.edu. © 2025 Harvard University. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

to lower rates of heart disease, certain cancers and chronic illnesses like diabetes and obesity. They’re better for the planet too.

When foods are processed, their health and nutritional value decline, partly due to additives.

“Industries are adding ingredients like excess salt, sugar, artificial sweeteners, colorings and other chemicals that may be unhealthy or trigger reactions in the brain to keep us craving more,” Armand said.

Move more, sit less

The hurry of life often short-circuits opportunities to be active. Instead of thinking, “What saves me time?” we can ask, “What keeps me mobile, flexible and functioning well?”

Exercising for a 30-minute block once daily is great, but you may reap even greater health and well-being benefits if you seek out ways to stay active throughout the day.

“Stop thinking about efficiency and think instead about pleasurable or creative ways to keep your body active,” Armand suggested.

Of course, many people experience mobility challenges due to age, illness or accident. Look for opportunities that suit your needs or move beyond your comfort zone, possibly through adaptive sports such as chair yoga.

Protect body from everyday toxins

Air pollution, microplastics and forever chemicals known as PFAS (perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl substances) are difficult to dodge in modern life.

Breathing in tiny particles (called particulate matter) or ingesting microplastics and harmful chemicals affects your health in many ways.

These tips can help you reduce potentially harmful exposures:

• Use a water filter to reduce your exposure to PFAS, microplastics and other contaminants.

• Swap out kitchen plastics with glass (such as mason jars), stainless steel water bottles and lead-free dinnerware.

• Run an air purifier with a MERV 13 or higher filter when wildfire smoke or pollution is at an unhealthy range, particularly for people who are most vulnerable, such as children, older adults and those with lung disease.

• Vent gas stoves when cooking. Opening windows can also help. Better still, cook as much as you can using electric or induction appliances.

Francesca Coltrera is editor of Harvard Health Blog.

© 2025 Harvard University. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Health Studies INFORMATION ON AREA CLINICAL TRIALS

Track your memory via an online study

By Margaret Foster

Have you ever worried if your everyday forgetfulness could indicate something worse, like dementia?

A free 20-minute test, repeated every six months, may be a good way to track your cognitive health over time.

The Alzheimer Prevention Trials (APT)

WASHINGTON MONUMENT LIGHTING

The annual Washington Monument Lighting, a Baltimore tradition since 1971, takes place on Thu., Dec. 4 from 5 to 8 p.m. Enjoy live music, food from local vendors, and a spectacular fireworks display in and around Mount Vernon Place Park, 699 Washington Pl. Free. For more information, visit mountvernonplace.org/monument-lighting.

HOLIDAY MARKET

This nighttime holiday market takes place in The Patterson and the Creativity Center at the Creative Alliance. It features Made in Baltimore vendors and Highlandtown’s annual tree lighting and holiday celebration. Visit 3134 Eastern Ave. on Fri., Dec. 12 from 4 to 9 p.m. to shop for locally made goods and enjoy holiday cheer. Tickets are not required for this free event. For more information, call (410) 276-1651.

52ND MAYOR’S CHRISTMAS PARADE

Enjoy the annual holiday celebration along the 1.5-mile route through Hampden and Medfield. The parade features colorful floats, local celebrities, the Boumi Shriners, bands and Santa Claus. Bring the whole family on Sun., Dec. 14 from 1 to 4 p.m. For directions and more information, visit themayorschristmasparade.com.

Webstudy offers such a test to anyone ages 50 to 85 without dementia.

Sponsored by the University of Southern California (USC) with funding from the National Institute on Aging, Brigham and Women’s Hospital and the Cleveland Clinic, the study can be conducted entirely online.

“The purpose of this study is to engage with older individuals who may be concerned with brain health,” said Dr. Paul Aisen, principal investigator of the APT Webstudy and professor at USC.

Aisen, who has been conducting research on Alzheimer’s disease for 40 years, founded the USC Alzheimer’s Therapeutic Research Institute in 2015.

How the study works

The Webstudy is only an observational study, so no medications, scans or bloodwork are required.

“It’s not burdensome to participate. We hope it’s engaging and may even be enjoyable,” Aisen said.

“We think people will value what they learn from participating, and they will value the ability to monitor their own brain health.”

After you sign up, you complete a 15-minute cognitive test. This test, known as the

Letters to the editor

From page 2

A place of independence

Pickersgill assisted living residents are rarely in l their rooms! Instead, , theyy’re out and about— participating in a community activity or event or dining with friends.

A place of beauty

Living in n this community—ttucked d into a beautiful West Towson neighborhood —you or your loved one beau njoy a warm welcome and daily activities, and they’ll appreciate the will enj paths, beautifully landscaped grounds, lovely gardens and more. walking path

A place of caring

Boston Remote Assessment for Neurocognitive Health (BRANCH), is given for five consecutive days every six months.

Every three months, you will complete a five-minute test called the Cognitive Function Index (CFI).

Participants will receive the results of these tests. If the results are concerning, Aisen’s team may contact you to recommend clinical trials for you to consider joining.

In the meantime, his researchers send out up-to-date information about the latest research on Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Access to clinical trials

Launched seven years ago, the APT Webstudy has about 60,000 participants so far. Aisen’s team hopes to gather 200,000 people so they can identify participants for clinical trials related to Alzheimer’s.

“We provide information about multiple studies, and we pre-screen individuals that are in the Webstudy to see if they may be candidates for our clinical trials,” Aisen explained.

Of course, participants can take part in the program without volunteering for any clinical trials, and they can drop out at any time.

To join the APT Webstudy, see aptwebstudy.org.

Dear Editor:

My take on your November From the Publisher column (“How we learn to be afraid”) is that a psychoanalytic approach to understanding the frightened man’s reaction is unnecessary.

I am 80 and, though I use no aids to get around, I am watching every step I take. Chances are the man was using everything he had, mentally, emotionally and physically, to concentrate on getting himself safely where he wanted to go. Your suddenness destabilized him.

This happens to me all the time in this fast world we live in — rushing delivery boys and young children in my senior building’s hallways, in store aisles, on the sidewalk and in parking lots. Frankly, it’s a sock in the (psychic) stomach.

My policy when I am antsy and irritable at being held up, as you were, is to take deep breaths and remind myself that this slow person could be me in the future for any number of reasons.

It takes practice, but it is kinder — and I feel better, too.

Carol Buell Columbia, MD

Call 888-877-9883 today for more information or to schedule your personal tour.

Each assisted liv g resident enjoys three chef-prepared meals per day, ing re y services, medication administration, help with daily housekeeping and laundry se quest, and all included in a reasonable monthly tasks and more—always by reques o all of the fee. Each h resi s dent also has access to all Pickersgill ameni l ties. private, full bath, and residents are Our assisted living g residences include a priv wish. This is a lifestyle dedicated to encouraged to decoraate their homes as they al staff. independence and assured by a caring, professionalfessionalstasttaff. 61 6 5 Chestnut Avenue • Towson, MD 21204 • www.PickersgillRetirement.org

We are looking for older adults (65+) to participate in a research study on personalized exercise. Learn how a tailored exercise program can help you feel stronger and improve your health and well-being. You will be compensated for your time and participation upon successful completion of the study.

For more information, please scan the QR code, call 443-692-7169 or email mpathstudy@jh.edu

Investigator: Dr. Junxin L

Vegetable couscous is an adaptable side dish

By Diane Rossen Worthington

When you need a side dish that works with simple or spicy entrees, try this one. This recipe is a keeper and so seriously simple to make, you’ll probably find it in your weekly rotation of trusted recipes.

Pearl couscous, sometimes called Israeli couscous or “ptitim” in Israel, is baked semolina or wheat pasta. It is larger than regular tiny couscous and tastes great sautéed and lightly browned.

Since couscous is mild with a delightfully nutty texture on its own, it’s best to add some vegetables, nuts or other flavorings to spice up the little pearls. They resemble barley but have a decidedly different flavor.

This simple side pasta is very adaptable. If you are in a hurry, go for frozen petit pois in-

stead of the carrots and zucchini, since the peas are a quick and tasty last-minute addition. You can also make this into a salad with the addition of diced tomatoes, tiny mozzarella balls and finely chopped basil. A mustard citrus vinaigrette dressing would bring all the flavors together.

Whether you serve this as a hot side dish to grilled or braised entrees or create your own chilled couscous salad, I know you and your guests will enjoy it.

Vegetable Pearl Couscous

Serves 6

Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 leek, white and light green part only, cleaned and finely chopped

1 small carrot, peeled and finely diced

1 small zucchini, finely diced

2 ½ cups Israeli couscous

Salt and freshly ground black pepper

2 cups hot water or chicken or vegetable broth

2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh parsley

2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese, optional

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan over medium heat, heat the oil. Add the leek and sauté for 5 to 7 minutes or until lightly browned and caramelized. Add the carrot and zucch-

ini and continue to stir for 2 minutes or until slightly softened. Turn up the heat to high and add the couscous. Brown the couscous for about 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Add the hot water or broth to the couscous, stir with a fork, and bring to a boil. Cover and reduce the heat to medium-low. Let the couscous simmer for about 10 minutes, cooking until all the liquid has been absorbed and the couscous is tender.

3. Add the parsley and optional Parme-

san; blend them in with a large fork. Recipe note: This dish can be prepared up to two hours ahead and kept at room temperature. Reheat carefully in the top part of a double boiler over medium heat for 10 minutes. Diane Rossen Worthington is the author of 18 cookbooks, including Seriously Simple Parties, and is a James Beard Awardwinning radio show host. Contact her at seriouslysimple.com.

© 2025 Diane Rossen Worthington. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Do you find it difficult to use a standard phone? Do people ask you to repeat yourself during telephone conversations? Do you miss important calls because you can’t hear the phone ring? The Maryland Accessible Telecommunications (MAT) program is here to help by giving Maryland residents the opportunity to apply for State-provided telecommunications equipment to independently make and receive calls. Once you qualify, a skilled evaluator meets with you to determine the best device to support your day-to-day communications. The MAT program has a variety of equipment solutions to support clearer communication, including:

• Amplified phones

• Tablets

• Ring signalers

• Phones with large and/or high contrast buttons

• Captioned Telephones

• And more

What do pharmacists do every day?

By Michael Schuh, Pharm.D.

Dear Mayo Clinic: I’m sure pharmacists are busy, but what do they do? No one likes to wait for a prescription, especially if you’re not feeling well. When you see a pharmacist on the news, you see them counting pills. When I get prescriptions filled, I see the pharmacist looking at a computer.

What training do pharmacists have? And what do they do?

A: I’m glad you asked. Being a pharmacist is more complicated than it might look.

Pharmacists are quite educated, and they must be. Diseases and the medications used to treat them are complex. As therapies have become more advanced, so

has pharmacist training.

Pharmacists have a minimum of five to six years of college, and some have eight years or more, plus one or two years of residency where they receive more training — just like physicians.

The final degree a pharmacist earns is called a doctor of pharmacy degree (Pharm.D.). After earning their advanced degree, graduates must earn a license by passing national and state board exams to become a registered pharmacist.

To apply for pharmacy school, students must take the same basic undergraduate college courses as medical doctors, veterinarians and dentists, including calculus, chemistry, biology, physics and other courses.

After these prerequisites are success-

CHRISTMAS VILLAGE

fully passed with good grades, pharmacists take the Pharmacy College Admission Test (PCAT), like the Medical College Admission Test (MCAT) physicians take.

Pharmacy school is typically a three- or four-year program. Classes include infectious diseases, endocrinology, gastroenterology, cardiovascular and pulmonary systems and more.

In most states, pharmacists also must take many hours of continuing education yearly to maintain their licenses and specialty certifications.

So, what is the pharmacist doing on the computer? The pharmacist must verify the prescription is formatted correctly and legally signed by the medical professional.

The pharmacist must verify the prescription is appropriate for the patient and has proper directions. Pharmacists run drug interaction reports, review allergies and duration of therapy and screen for side effects.

There to help

Pharmacists are available to counsel patients on how to take the medication, side effects and drug interactions.

Then pharmacists must dispense the amount the patient’s insurance allows. If the insurance does not pay for the prescribed medication, the pharmacist must contact the healthcare professional to change the drug or the amount.

If the medication must be changed, sometimes research must be done to find a preferred medication that will be paid for by the patient’s insurance.

Pharmacists do this while you wait because insurance will not guarantee payment to a pharmacy in the future, only on claims made in real time. This can extend the time it takes to fill a prescription.

Some pharmacists also administer immunizations, such as the flu shot and shingles shot.

In the case of patients receiving solid organ transplants, such as a kidney or heart transplant, pharmacist participation in direct patient care is required by the government. This is because the medical literature has shown when a pharmacist is directly involved in the care of patients, medical outcomes for patients are better and healthcare costs are less.

How to save time

Patients can help streamline the process of filling prescriptions in these ways:

• If you get a new insurance card, bring it to the pharmacy so your information can be updated.

• Provide your pharmacy with updated allergies, drug intolerances and medication changes so they can document it in your chart.

• If your healthcare professional sends a prescription to your pharmacy electronically, give the pharmacy some time to fill it. Consider checking your online patient portal or calling the pharmacy to ensure the prescription is ready before you go to get it.

Talk to your pharmacist if you have any questions about your medications. They are there to help.

Michael Schuh, Pharm.D., Pharmacy, Mayo Clinic, Jacksonville, Florida Mayo Clinic Q & A is an educational resource and doesn’t replace regular medical care. This Mayo Clinic Q&A represents inquiries this healthcare expert has received from patients. For more information, visit mayoclinic.org.

© 2025 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. All Rights Reserved. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Over-the-counter meds may harm heart

Most people think of laxatives and stool softeners as harmless aids for occasional constipation. They sit on drugstore shelves right beside vitamins and antacids, which makes them appear safe enough for everyday use.

Yet hidden behind their gentle image is a serious health risk. Overuse of laxatives and stool softeners can upset the body’s electrolyte balance, creating the perfect setup for dangerous heartrhythm problems.

lytes, including sodium, potassium, magnesium, calcium, chloride and phosphate. Stool softeners may also reduce absorption of fat-soluble vitamins such as A, D, E and K. Your heart depends on these minerals to keep its rhythm steady. When potassium or magnesium levels fall, the electrical system becomes unstable, and the heart can slip into arrhythmias.

By Suzy Cohen

Stool softeners like docusate sodium (Colace) work by pulling water and fats into the stool, while laxatives come in several forms, from osmotic types such as polyethylene glycol (MiraLAX); to stimulant products like senna (Senokot) and bisacodyl (Dulcolax); saline agents such as magnesium citrate; and bulk-forming fibers like psyllium (Metamucil).

Taken occasionally, these remedies are usually effective and harmless. Taken every day, however, they can rob your body of essential minerals — what I call the “drug mugging” effect — a well-documented form of nutrient depletion.

The nutrients most at risk are electro-

Electrolytes shift quietly, so you won’t notice unless you get a cramp, start to crave salt or get fatigued. Other symptoms of electrolyte imbalance include confusion, headaches, nausea and vomiting. If depletion becomes more severe, the heart begins to misfire. Now you may notice palpitations, dizziness or feeling faint. The most feared rhythm problem is called torsades de pointes, which can quickly spiral into ventricular fibrillation, a chaotic rhythm that can be fatal.

Check with your doctor

What can you do if you rely on these medications? First, do not ignore symptoms. If you develop sudden palpitations, dizziness, chest pain or fainting, go directly to the emergency room.

If you use these drugs more than occasionally, ask your physician to check your electrolytes with a blood test. Replenishing nutrients is essential. Electrolyte powders or oral rehydration salts may be useful for ongoing support.

Your body is not constipated because it is short on laxatives. Treating constipation with daily pills while ignoring nutrition and hydration is like patching a leak with tape instead of fixing the pipe.

I have more information on this subject

at drugmuggers.com, where you can personally search any medication you take. For more detailed health tips and the full version of this article, visit suzycohen.com and sign up for my free newsletter. This information is opinion only. It is not intended to treat, cure or diagnose your condition. Consult with your doctor before using any new drug or supplement.

Suzy Cohen is a registered pharmacist and author of The 24-Hour Pharmacist and Real Solutions from Head to Toe

MoneyMoney Law &

Plan ahead to save your family stress. See story on opposite page.

Stay safe when making cashless payments

By Lawrence Sprung, CFP®

We manage more of our financial lives through screens than ever before. We tap phones to pay for purchases and use apps instead of cash.

Digital payments are fast, convenient and arguably safer than carrying wads of cash, but with this speed and convenience comes an element of risk.

What happens when systems go down? Or, worse yet, what happens when someone breaks into the system?

Scams, hacks and system failures continue to rise, but implementing a few smart habits can easily help you enjoy the convenience of digital payments with greater safety.

Fraud is on the rise

Whether you use Apple Pay at the grocery store or send money through an app like Venmo, PayPal or Zelle to cover your share of dinner with friends, you’re part of a massive shift. In 2024, more than 4.3 billion people used “digital wallets” worldwide. That number is expected to hit 5.8 billion by 2029.

Most Americans now use some form of digital payment. According to McKinsey’s 2024 Consumer Payments Survey, 92% of U.S. adults used digital payments last year, including mobile wallets, apps and contact-

less cards. That number keeps growing.

Unfortunately, fraud is growing, too. In 2024, the Federal Trade Commission reported a record $12.5 billion in consumer losses to fraud, an increase of 25% over the previous year.

Investment scams alone accounted for $5.7 billion. Identity theft, phishing and scams involving money transfer apps are becoming more frequent and more sophisticated.

Unlike a credit card, where you can dispute charges, money sent through a digital payment app is often gone for good unless the recipient returns the funds or the platform intervenes.

If you accidentally send money to the wrong person or a scammer, there’s no easy way to get it back without initiating a time-consuming fraud investigation that may or may not be successful.

Eight ways to stay safe

These simple habits can help you enjoy the convenience of digital payments while lowering the threat of fraud:

Check before you send money. Whether you’re paying someone for work or sending money to a friend, take an extra moment to verify their name, email address or phone number.

One wrong letter or number can send your money to a stranger, and in most cases, you won’t be able to reverse the payment.

Turn on transaction alerts. Most banks and payment apps let you receive real-time notifications when money leaves your account. These alerts can help you spot fraud quickly, which is key to minimizing damage.

Use a strong lock on your phone. If your phone is lost or stolen, a fingerprint, Face ID or PIN can prevent someone from accessing your payment apps.

You can also enable “remote wipe” features on Apple and Android devices, which let you erase your phone if it’s stolen.

Keep a little cash on hand. Digital payments don’t always work, especially during power outages or service disruptions. A small amount of cash in your wallet can help in an emergency.

Don’t click on suspicious links. Scammers can send fake texts or emails pretending to be your bank or payment provider. If you get a message asking you to “verify” a transaction or reset your password, don’t click on anything, and don’t call the number they provide. Instead, call your bank directly or go directly to its app or official website.

Report fraud fast. If you notice a suspicious charge or lose your device (or if some-

thing simply feels “off”), contact your bank or provider right away. Most services have time limits for resolving fraud or recovering lost funds, and your own liability typically increases the longer you wait to report it.

Use two-factor authentication. This extra layer of security, usually a text message or authentication code, can prevent someone from logging into your accounts even if they have your password.

Update your devices. Software updates aren’t just about new features — they often fix security vulnerabilities. Keep your phone and apps up to date to stay protected against the latest threats.

Stay in control

Technology moves quickly, and digital payments are only going to become more common. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. By building a few good habits now, you can stay a step ahead of fraudsters and keep your money where it belongs. Digital convenience is here to stay. Just make sure your guardrails are, too.

This article was written by and presents the views of a contributing adviser, not the Kiplinger editorial staff. You can check adviser records with the SEC or with FINRA. © 2025 The Kiplinger Washington Editors, Inc. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Essential legal docs everyone should have

Dear Savvy Senior,

What kinds of legal documents do I need to help my family take care of me in my elder years? I would like to get my affairs in order but could use some help.

—Approaching 80

Dear Approaching,

All adults, especially an older adult like yourself, should have at least five legal documents to protect yourself and your family. These documents will make sure your wishes regarding your estate are legal and clear and will help minimize any conflicts and confusion with your family and your healthcare providers if you become seriously ill or when you die.

along with some tips to help you create them.

Durable power of attorney: This document allows you to designate someone you trust to handle your financial affairs if you become incapacitated.

Advance directive: This includes two documents that spell out your wishes regarding your end-of-life medical treatment. The first is a “living will,” which tells your doctor what kind of care you want to receive if you become incapacitated. The second is a “healthcare power of attorney” (or healthcare proxy), which names a person you authorize to make medical decisions on your behalf if you’re unable.

Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment (see POLST.org). This is a state specific form that your doctor would fill out that translates your end-of-life wishes into medical orders to ensure your wishes are carried out.

A will: This lets you spell out your wishes of how you’d like your property and assets distributed after you die, whether it’s to family, friends or a charity. It also allows you to designate an executor to ensure your wishes are carried out and allows you to name guardians if you have dependent children.

In addition to a will, if you own real estate or have considerable assets, another option you may want to consider is a “revocable living trust.” This functions like a will but allows your estate to avoid the time and expense of probate (the public legal process that examines your estate after you die).

your medical care and medical bills with those you designate. You may need specific HIPAA release forms for each medical professional you deal with.

Do-it-yourself tips

If you have a simple estate and an uncomplicated family situation, there are doit-yourself resources that can help you create all these documents for a few hundred dollars. Some include Quicken WillMaker & Trust software (see WillMaker.com), Trust & Will (TrustandWill.com) and Legal Zoom (LegalZoom.com).

Where to get help

If, however, you want or need assistance or if you have a complicated financial situation, blended family or have considerable

Here are the key documents you need,

To complement your advance directive, you should also consider getting a Physician

HIPAA release: This form gives your healthcare provider permission to discuss

SAVVY SENIOR By Jim Miller

Should you prepay for your own funeral?

By Maurie Backman

Q: A good friend recently died and it made me wonder, should I prepay for my own funeral? Is it worth it to set up now while I’m in my 50s?

A: Sometimes it takes a loss to make us face our own mortality — and the costs that come with it.

Chances are, you’ve put a lot of thought into planning for different milestones during your lifetime — buying your first house, sending your kids off to college, and retirement. But it’s just as important to plan for what happens once you’re no longer around.

In the course of your estate planning, you might write up a will or put a living trust in place for an easier transfer of assets.

Another important aspect of estate planning you may want to consider is arranging your funeral ahead of time. That could mean choosing a location and providing detailed instructions to your loved ones about the type of service you want.

It might also involve paying for your funeral ahead of time so your loved ones don’t have to. Here’s what to consider.

The benefits of prepaying

• Beat inflation: The National Funeral Directors Association said that in 2023, the

Savvy Senior

From page 12

rienced

writing

The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (NAELA.org) and the National Association of Estate Planners and Councils

median cost of a funeral with a viewing and burial was $8,300. That will rise over the years.

“Funeral costs have historically increased 3% to 5% annually, so a $10,000 funeral today might cost $16,000 in a decade,” according to Phillip Reed, estate and asset protection attorney at Reed Law PLC. “My friend who lost his wife unexpectedly had a $36,000 funeral expense, which he had to pay within weeks of his wife’s passing.”

• Avoid probate : Plus, Reed said, “Prepaid funeral plans bypass probate entirely, meaning your family isn’t scrambling for cash.”

Assets left to loved ones in a will have to go through probate, which means they could be tied up for months or even years, said Renee Fry, CEO at Gentreo, Inc.

But a funeral can’t wait months or years, which means your family may have to scramble to come up with the funds for a funeral.

“It’s a common misconception that monies left to your heirs in a will can be used right away to pay for one’s funeral,” Fry explained. “Given that so few of us have money on hand to pay for a burial and funeral, pre-need planning has become popular.”

• Remove your family’s stress :

(NAEPC.org) are two good resources that have directories on their websites to help you find someone in your area.

If money is tight, check with your state’s bar association (see FindLegalHelp.org) to find low-cost legal help in your area. Or call the Eldercare Locator at (800) 6771116 for a referral.

Send your questions or comments to questions@savvysenior.org, or to Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070.

Peace of Mind is Priceless

Another benefit to prepaying for your funeral? It removes the burden of decision-making from grieving loved ones, Reed said.

“I’ve watched families argue over burial versus cremation, casket choices, and service details, all while emotionally devastated,” he said. “When you make these decisions yourself, you spare them that anguish.”

Drawbacks and pitfalls to consider

While there are benefits to prepaying for your funeral, there are some pitfalls.

• Your circumstances may change: “One big issue with prepaying for your funeral,” said Reed, “is if you move or change your mind about where you want services held, transferring prepaid plans can be complicated and sometimes impossible. Some plans aren’t portable, meaning you could lose money.”

Allocating funds to your funeral in a different way, without prepaying for a specific location, is something you may want to consider.

• What if the funeral home goes out of business?

“This can be solved by making sure your money goes into a trust or insurance product, not just directly to the funeral home’s operating account,” Reed said. Reed cautions that insurance products can vary by state, so it’s important to consult with a professional to understand how

this option might work.

• Beware of Medicaid eligibility rules: Another issue that could arise if you prepay for your funeral, said Reed, is complications with Medicaid.

“Prepaid funeral plans, up to certain limits, are typically exempt assets that won’t affect Medicaid eligibility, but only if structured correctly,” he said. However, Reed said, “If set up correctly, this can be a smart estate planning move for those concerned about long-term care costs.”

Many

ways to prepay

Funeral costs are only likely to rise over time, and tools like wills or even trusts may not give your loved ones access to money to pay for a funeral quickly.

“Even ‘simple’ estates can take six to 12 months to settle,” Reed pointed out.

One possible alternative to prepaying for a funeral is using a life insurance policy with a named beneficiary. But even those payouts can take weeks, Reed cautioned.

All told, Reed calls prepaying for a funeral “a good option.” But you may want to consult a financial adviser or estate planning attorney to see if it’s a good one for you.

© 2025 The Kiplinger Washington Editors, Inc. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Warren Place Senior Apartments in Cockeysville, Maryland, is a 62+ senior community in a convenient location just minutes away from shopping centers, banks, pharmacies and restaurants on York Road.

Steps away from Cockeysville Senior Center to fit with your active lifestyle. We are a pet friendly community! • All

Travel Leisure &

The stark beauty of the Faroe Islands

By Don Mankin

The wind blasted me as I neared the edge of the cliff. Leaning into the gust, I struggled to stay on my feet. Deciding that my safety was more important than another spectacular view, I reluctantly turned back.

I was in the Faroe Islands, an archipelago of 18 islands in the North Atlantic about midway between Norway and Iceland. With more sheep (about 80,000) than people (about 50,000), the Faroe Islands, literally the “sheep islands,” are beautiful, bucolic and peaceful, except for the occasional raging wind.

The islands are an awe-inspiring land of jagged rock pillars overlooking pounding seas, waterfalls cascading from hills and cliffs, fjords serrating green hills dotted with sheep, and villages of grass-covered houses.

“If Ireland and Iceland had a baby, it would be the Faroes,” declared Michael Bennett, founder of the travel company Explorer X, who accompanied me on my trip last fall.

Return to the North Atlantic

I have been drawn to the rugged lands at the extremes of the earth — Antarctica, Iceland, northern Alaska, northern Scotland, the Canadian High Arctic, among others — since a trip in 1969 that sparked a passion for remote regions of the world.

On that trip, I drove my new Volvo, fresh from the factory in Sweden, from Copenhagen to the North Cape, the northernmost point in Europe, then down the northern fjords of Norway and back to the factory in Sweden to ship home to Pennsylvania.

I’m not sure what it is about these lands — dramatic, vast, even a bit scary — that appeals to me. Perhaps it’s the sense that there is something bigger than myself, which takes me out of my head and reminds me that I am just a mere speck in the universe. Whatever it is, the Faroes were the ideal place to once again experience this feeling of transcendence.

Copenhagen comeback

As a self-governing part of Denmark, the Faroes are easy to reach from Copenhagen, the starting point for my seminal trip in 1969. Before heading to the islands, I spent my one day in Copenhagen on a long, nostalgic walk revisiting hazily remembered sites.

I wandered through Christianshavn, a bohemian neighborhood, to Nyhavn, a historic 17th-century canal district with colorful buildings, classic wooden ships and many restaurants lining the canal.

I continued to the Rosenborg Castle, a Renaissance castle that houses the Danish crown jewels. Instead of taking a tour of the building, I opted for a leisurely stroll through the King’s Garden, a large park in front of the fortress, then on to Strøget, a long, car-free pedestrian shopping street, one of the first in Europe.

From there I headed to Tivoli Gardens, a historic amusement park that opened in 1843 and is one of the oldest in the world.

By the time I reached my destination, however, I was tired from jet lag and the more than four miles I had already walked. That, plus the $35 admission charge, dis-

suaded me from revisiting the fondest and most vivid memory of my earlier visit, so I headed back to my hotel instead. All in all, I had a full, nostalgic day.

Five days in the Faroes

The next day, it was on to the Faroes. Our five days there kicked off in dramatic fashion, with a high-octane RIB (rigid inflatable boat) tour around Hestur Island.

The boat roared across the sound, then slowed down as it circled the island to give us a view of its many sea caves, including the world’s biggest sea grotto, etched into 1,000-foot cliffs. As we twisted on the large, choppy swells, I marveled at the sheep nonchalantly nibbling grass on the steep slopes, just a slight misstep away from plunging into the crashing surf below.

Over the next few days, we gawked at waterfalls, heard legends worthy of a Netflix series, and visited the home of a local family for dinner. Over heaping platters of local salmon, lamb, roasted potatoes and rhubarb crisp, Anna and Oli described their everyday lives, especially the challenges of raising and herding sheep in this rugged land.

We even took a helicopter from the main island of Streymoy to the tiny, westernmost island of Mykines. This wasn’t a tourist experience but a regularly scheduled route run by Atlantic Airways, the national carrier of the Faroe Islands. Since the purpose of our trip was to get

an aerial view of the precipitous cliffs, we didn’t get off in Mykines. If I ever have a chance to go back to the Faroes, I’ll spend a night or two in the tiny village on the island and visit the puffin colonies that populate the cliffs during the summer months.

Hiking to the best views

The hikes we took were the ultimate highlight for me — an opportunity to be immersed in the majestic environment, rather than just gawk at it from a distance.

Our first hike, the most popular one in the Faroes, was to the iconic Kallur lighthouse on Kalsoy Island, the site of the finale of the James Bond movie No Time to Die

It’s not an easy hike — about an hour or more uphill on a muddy trail — but the breathtaking views from the lighthouse are worth the effort. A huge massif of sheer basalt looms over the scene on one side, while on the other, a narrow blade of land with steep drop-offs juts into the ocean.

A potentially treacherous trail runs along the narrow ridge. If I were younger and nimbler, I might have braved the trail, but at 83, good sense and age-tempered wisdom prevailed.

Our other hike, to the Lake Above the Ocean on the island of Vágar, was so enjoyable that we did it twice. The lake is sometimes referred to as the “floating lake”

In the Faroe Islands of the North Atlantic, the island of Kalsoy is home to the remote, 98-year-old Kallur Lighthouse. Puffins and other seabirds populate the jagged cliffs of the Faroe Islands.

Explore Madrid’s grand boulevards, world-class museums and cozy cafés. See story on page 16.

By bike or on foot, Copenhagen’s trendy Nyhavn neighborhood is easy to navigate. The Danish writer Hans Christian Andersen lived in Nyhavn.

PHOTO BY FALCO/PIXABAY

Lively Madrid awakens all of the senses

By Sandi Barrett

Madrid’s many traffic roundabouts, anchored with towering statues softened by colorful gardens, resemble pinwheels for throngs of vehicles circling its many spokes. I love a destination with high energy — it gives me hope for a visit filled with lots of possibilities.

Madrid, with its hip, youthful vibe, is just that type of city. Its restaurants, plazas and meandering streets are filled with a continuous, lively hustle. Delicious tapas, fascinating architecture and beautiful art come together in Spain’s capital.

I visited the city in the fall, after the summer crowds ebbed. I started my tour at the Royal Palace, the official residence of the King of Spain. The 3,418-room palace is open to the public and welcomes nearly two million visitors a year.

Even more popular, the beautiful Prado Museum is home to important works by Spanish and global artists, displayed with an eye for artistic flow as you move from exhibit to exhibit. Classic masterpieces by Goya, Velázquez and El Greco anchor the collection. The museum is free two hours before closing and can be very crowded at that time. The entry fee is worth the price to view the art earlier, without the crowds.

Bullfighting and flamenco

Among the many other museums in the city, the Las Ventas Bullring and Museum offers visitors an iconic Spanish experience. If watching an actual bullfight is not in the cards (too violent for some), guests can try virtual bullfighting. Face off against a massive, virtual bull as you wheel around the Las Ventas area. Of course, a more sedate, classic tour is available for less adventurous guests.

A flamenco show is a must-see in Spain. At the Tablao de la Villa, authentic flamenco is served up with a traditional dinner. The music and dance swept me away; it was an emotional experience.

Madrid is a very walkable city with lots of sprawling plazas, winding streets and grand boulevards. Plaza Mayor is the heart of Madrid’s social life. Originally built outside the medieval city walls, it was home to bustling markets. Today the plaza is filled with performing artists, vendors, cafés, college students and tourists.

The vibrant Puerta del Sol is at the center of the city. The “kilometer zero” point is marked with a plaque in front of the Royal House of the Post Office. A central meeting point for locals and tourists, the square is a lively spot with exuberant energy.

Spanish fare

A fun gathering spot for tapas or beer is the Mercado de San Miguel. Enjoy yummy culinary delights from wine and cheese to pastries and coffee and everything in between.

Mesón del Champiñón is worth seeking out for its sangria, which is among the most amazing in the city. The house specialty, and my favorite, is champiñones rellenos con

jamón (mushrooms stuffed with ham).

To make sure we found the city’s best restaurants, we booked a four-hour food tour with World Experiences (worldexperience.com/madrid). The Madrid Tapas & Wine Tour with rooftop views is a wonderful way to enjoy traditional Spanish cuisine while learning a little history. The tour visits

Surrounded by parkland, Madrid’s Prado Museum displays famous works by Velázquez, Goya and El Greco. Also on the grand boulevard are historic churches, plazas and restaurants.

PHOTO BY DON FALCONE/PIXABAY

See MADRID , page 17

Faroe Islands

From page 15

because it’s on the edge of a cliff, about 100 feet above the ocean. Yet another spectacular waterfall spills from the lake into the ocean.

The first time, we hiked through a land reminiscent of northern Scotland on a relatively flat trail that runs to the cliff at the end of the lake. It was drizzly and foggy, though, so we couldn’t see much.

We gave it another try on our last day in the Faroes. Michael and Kevin, Michael’s friend from his college days, both in their mid-40s, surged ahead while I followed doggedly behind. After a few minutes, I had the trail pretty much to myself.

This time I almost made it to the end, but the wind stopped me dead in my tracks. Nonetheless, I felt a sense of accomplishment and was exhilarated by the effort and the lonely beauty of this harsh land.

It was the perfect manifestation of the

From page 16

delicious tapas bars, food markets and Iberian ham purveyors and culminates at a rooftop bar with a panoramic city view.

The iconic bocadillo de calamares , Madrid’s calamari sandwich, is a must-try. Find the breaded and deep-fried squid rings sandwiched in a crispy baguette at small neighborhood cafés.

Day trips to Toledo, Salamanca

Centrally located, Madrid is an ideal base to explore more of Spain. Day trips are a wonderful way to round out your visit.

Just over an hour away, the former capital and historic city of Toledo is worth a trip. The capital was moved to Madrid in 1561, allowing Toledo to retain its medieval charm. A UNESCO World Heritage Site, Toledo displays its stunning architectural beauty as it rises above the Tagus River.

Wander through Toledo’s Jewish Quarter, an enclave for the country’s Sephardic heritage. Explore the Primate Cathedral of Saint Mary of Toledo, home to an interesting array of artistic treasures. Stroll the back streets

passion that has driven me for much of the past 20 years — a true adventure, accessible to an aging traveler who continues to thirst for challenging, transcendent journeys off the beaten track. I’m still not too old for adventure.

If you go

Round-trip, one-stop economy fares to Copenhagen start at $800 on American Airlines, British Airways and Scandinavian Airlines. Round-trip airfare between Copenhagen and the Faroe Islands on Atlantic Airways is about $350.

In Copenhagen, I stayed at the hip Bryggen Guldsmeden for about $250 per night. In Tórshavn in the Faroes, we stayed at the Hotel Hafnia and the Hotel Føroyar. Both hotels are about $250 a night.

In Tórshavn, we ate at Áarstova, The Tarv Grill House and HAPS. For a dinner with locals, see heimablidni.fo/en.

Don’s trip was organized and partially hosted by Explorer X (explorer-x.com).

and alleys surrounding Zocodover Square to find charming little shops and quaint cafés.

Two hours away, Salamanca is a Renaissance city that dates to 220 B.C. Its ancient sandstone buildings have a distinctive golden glow, giving credence to its nickname, “La Ciudad Dorada,” the Golden City.

For a full day of exploring, visit the 800year-old University of Salamanca, the Cathedral (two buildings dating from 1513 and 1733), the House of Shells and Plaza Mayor, the largest plaza in Spain.

If you go

Round-trip flights to Madrid start at $473 on United Airlines.

Whether you make a quick stop or an extended visit, you will love Spain’s hospitality.

The Hotel NH Collection Madrid Paseo del Prado is an excellent home base. Outside the front door is the grand avenue Paseo del Prado, and it’s across the street from the Prado and Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum.

The five-star Four Seasons Hotel Madrid is situated above the iconic Galería Canalejas, home to the most influential global retailers, including Hermès, Chanel and more.

BEACON BITS Dec. 11

MEDICARE BASICS PRESENTATION (VIRTUAL)

This free online presentation covers the basics of Medicare, including when and how to enroll, what is covered, how it functions, retiree health benefits and Medigaps and Medicare HMOs. Join the discussion on Thu., Dec. 11 from 2 to 3:30 p.m. online through Baltimore County’s OPAL Center. Register at MyActiveCenter.com with your BC-Pass card number, or visit bit.ly/BaltimoreCountyOPAL to submit your registration for the BC-Pass. For more information, email theopalcenter@baltimorecountymd.gov or call (410) 887-1929.

Ongoing

ROAD SCHOLAR’S ONLINE LECTURE SERIES

Road Scholar’s new online lecture series, Age Well, explores every aspect of aging: maintaining strength in body and mind, staying connected and purposeful, and remaining confident and graceful into life’s Fourth Age. The one-hour sessions are free and include access to a Facebook Group, blog posts and book recommendations. For more information, visit roadscholar.org/agewell.

BALTIMORE MANDOLIN ORCHESTRA CONCERT

Dec.

14

Visit the Roland Park Community Center to hear the Baltimore Mandolin Orchestra perform holiday and seasonal music. This event takes place on Sun., Dec. 14 from 3 to 4 p.m. at 5802 Roland Ave. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased at the door. For more information, call Carla van Berkum at (443) 934-3896 or email info@baltimoremandolinorchestra.org.

WINTER ART SHOW AT KESWICK WISE & WELL

Dec.

16

This free winter art show celebrates the holiday season with artwork created by the Keswick Wise & Well members. It takes place on Tue., Dec. 16 from 4 to 5:30 p.m. at 700 W. 40th St. For more information and to register, visit bit.ly/Keswickartshow or call (410) 662-4363.

Arts & Style

Choir performs beloved holiday concerts

By Tony Glaros

During the darkest period of the year, the incandescence of the holidays glows. This holiday season, audiences can unwrap a lineup chockablock with performances from the Baltimore Choral Arts Society, a 99-voice strong chorus of sopranos, altos, tenors and basses.

The lineup kicks off this year on December 2 with a performance at the Baltimore Basilica. That’s followed on Dec. 5 with caroling through the streets of Little Italy, a free church concert on Dec. 7, and the Dec. 20 Holiday Spectacular at the Joseph Meyerhoff Symphony Hall.

Televised on WMAR, Baltimore’s ABC affiliate, the annual holiday concert reaches about 100,000 viewers a year and even won an Emmy Award in 2006.

Planning for the holiday season begins in July, said music director and conductor Anthony Blake Clark.

“I like to focus on the tenderness of Christmas,” particularly in a world, he added, where “everything feels mean, feels rough.”

Roots of an ensemble

Created in 1967, the society began as the choir at the Cathedral of the Incarnation, an Anglican parish in the Guilford neighborhood of Baltimore. Since then, it has performed with the National Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center under the baton of notable conductors like Roger Norrington and Claudio Scimone. The chorale also appeared at the Festival of the Costa del Sol in Spain.

Although its name suggests otherwise, the Baltimore Choral Arts Society includes not only a chorus but also a chamber choir, a professional 35-member orchestra and an educational outreach ensemble.

Its longtime music director Tom Hall, who retired in 2017, helped expand the group and established the annual concert during his 35 years at the organization.

“Tom Hall made the chorus into a tight, lyrical ensemble, and Blake has brought his own stamp of insight and excellence to it,” according to Judith Krummeck, the popular afternoon voice at classical WBJCFM, who has narrated the Christmas show at the Basilica for several years.

Its success is due to “consistently high standards and varied programming,” she said.

Overseas concerts

The society spent much of its summer performing internationally.

They started with a four-concert tour of the Netherlands and Germany. In Amsterdam, they performed “a concert of mostly American music in Westerkerk, the famous church with the bell tower, visible to much of western Amsterdam,” Clark recalled, “perhaps most famously seen and heard by Anne Frank from the secret family compound just next door.”

The whirlwind tour then moved on to Berlin and a performance in the St. Matthäus-Kirche next to the Philharmonie.

“Over four days we joined with almost 1,000 singers under my mentor, Simon Halsey, to present a gargantuan concert of Mendelssohn’s ‘Lobgesang’ at the Berlin Philharmonie,” Clark said in an email.

The Baltimore Choral Arts Society also performed in Bach’s church in Leipzig, as well as in Prague’s Smetana Hall at the Prague Summer Nights Festival Orchestra.

The nearly three-week European adven-

MODERN NUTCRACKER PERFORMANCE

Aru Dell’Arte Dance Company’s reinterpretation of the Nutcracker ballet features greater character variety, reimagined dance partnerships, and a modern 21st-century perspective. The performance takes place on Tue., Dec. 23 from 7:30 to 9 p.m. at the Baltimore Theatre Project, 45 W. Preston St. Tickets are $36. For more information and to reserve seats, visit bit.ly/NutcrackerinBaltimore.

ture, Clark said, “was filled with amazing music in incredible halls, almost all of which were completely full!”

During off hours, Clark added, performers and staff carved out time for touring and socializing. “It really strengthens the bonds of a choir to go on tours,” he said.

Eyeing the next generation

For Choral Arts’ sixth international trip last summer, chorus manager Kelly Buchanan helped everything run smoothly.

With more than 140 voices and a schedule of about 20 concerts per year, she said, “There are a lot of moving parts…I help make sure everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be there, whether it’s on time and in the right place for a rehearsal or in a lineup for the correct place on the risers for a concert.”

Buchanan and the rest of the staff of the Baltimore Choral Arts Society are committed to teaching the next generation. In general, the U.S. lags behind other countries when it comes to teaching students the basics of music.

“It’s not unusual for someone in Austria to be able to tell you about Mahler,” said Clark, who has a doctorate from the Peabody Conservatory. “Our music educa-

tion system has been reduced to rubble.”

Clark emphasized the need for expanded musical education in American classrooms.

“The state government regulatory bodies chip away at music education almost every year — less time in music classrooms, less funding, fewer teachers, etc.,” he said.

In an effort to change that, Choral Arts sends its certified music teachers to the Enoch Pratt Free Library to teach preschoolers. These free, 30-minute classes are known as Sing and Play with Baltimore Choral Arts.

Generally there is audience support for the ensemble, Clark remarked, but the group needs more regular subscribers. “They want to come, but they don’t subscribe,” he said. “They buy single tickets.”

Economic pressures aside, Clark loves his job, which, he said, “requires a highlevel, bird’s-eye view, an understanding of musical form, and the large brushstrokes that give you goosebumps.”

A free concert takes place on Sunday, Dec. 7 at 3 p.m. at Immanuel Lutheran Church, 5701 Loch Raven Boulevard, Baltimore. For more information, visit baltimorechoralarts.org or call (410) 523-7070.

A book of haikus healed its author. See story on page 20.

Anthony Blake Clark, the music director of the Baltimore Choral Arts Society, says his job “requires a high-level, bird’s-eye view, an understanding of musical form, and the large brushstrokes that give you goosebumps.” Choral Arts will give a free concert on Dec. 7.

Ask Laura anything: What price love?

Q: I’m 69 and have been divorced for 30 years — a few boyfriends here and there, but my last relationship was over a decade ago. I recently moved to support my family. While I’m loving the grands and being close to my daughter, I’m lonely.

I’ve tried dating apps, but I’m not interested in the people who reach out to me, and I feel bad telling them that. And the ones I reach out to don’t respond.

who’ve shelled out various sums for a variety of ways to find potential partners, and with mixed results, one thing seems certain: We don’t necessarily get what we pay for.

By Laura Stassi

I recently made an inquiry with a dating service that would select matches for me and make all the arrangements. It’s very expensive: $6,000-plus. The well-experienced dating coach said it’s worth it to land a secure, top-rate man. She also told me since I’m almost out of my 60s, I’d better hurry up because I’m not getting any younger, and she doesn’t have many men in their 70s and older who are dating.

The sum is doable for me financially but such a gamble. Do you think it’s worth it?

A: Finding love … sigh. It might seem logical that the amount of money we spend will correlate with success. But in talking with older daters all over the country

Like you, a lot of us have turned to the apps. While some are completely free — here’s looking at you, Facebook Dating — others require users to pay for additional features. On Match, for example, you pay more for unlimited messaging and boosts to increase your profile’s visibility.

The main difference between a dating app and a service like the one you’ve described is that basically, you’re hiring someone to do all the scrolling, reaching out and vetting you’d otherwise do on your own.

But there’s another key difference: The services usually turn to their existing pool of clients to make love connections. Dating apps typically offer a more robust pool of potential partners. Dating services claim to offer quality over quantity.

I can relate to “app fatigue” on the one hand and the desire for romantic companionship on the other. But I’m turned off by your prospective dating coach’s doom-andgloom attitude about finding love after a

certain age. Even if I had $6,000 to gamble — because that’s what it is, a gamble — I’d probably look to invest in a service with a more positive outlook.

Before committing to spending a significant sum on any dating service, I’d want answers to the following questions, preferably in writing:

• How large is the service’s existing pool of daters in my specified parameters, including geographic location, age and education level?

• How many dates is the service promising to deliver, and in what time frame?

• What information is shared by the service before the actual date? (Will we each know what the other looks like, for example, or how we fit each other’s desired qualities?)

• Do no-shows count toward the total number of dates promised?

• Am I able to cancel within a certain time period and get money refunded if I’m dissatisfied?

For a wider perspective on the invest-tofind-love topic, I asked my podcast listeners to take an informal survey on how much they’d spent, and whether they felt the cost was justified. Here are excerpts

from some of the responses:

• “I spent a total of $1,730 on seven different apps. Now that I see the numbers, I am embarrassed and disheartened by the money I spent. My current relationship status is domestic bliss with a man found on an app.”

• “I spent $6,000 for three months on a dating service — absolutely worthless. My partner is someone I’ve known since college. Longtime friends, and we started dating a few years ago. I couldn’t be happier!”

• “Two apps, total of $30? I spent hardly any money, but I spent time, and that has value.”

• “I spent nothing for a free week with one app, met someone, and we were together until he died. Four years later, I got on a different app for a month and met a man I eventually married. I don’t remember what I paid, maybe $75 to $150? But it was well worth the cost. I was always on a budget so was cautious about spending too much on dating sites.”

Laura Stassi is the host of the podcast “Dating While Gray: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships” and author of Romance Redux: Finding Love in Your Later Years. Send your questions to Laura at newloveafter50@gmail.com

Tell them you saw it in the Beacon!

LOVE AFTER 50

How haiku healed a Baltimore widow

By Sophia Lim

When you lose someone, the holidays can bring back the pain of that loss no matter how many years have passed. After all, grief isn’t linear; it comes in waves — it ebbs and flows.

For Jane Flattery, healing took the form of three lines, 17 syllables, and a 5-7-5 syllable pattern: a haiku.

Flattery, an 88-year-old Baltimore native, published a book of her poetry five years ago. She began writing haikus as part of a hospice writing course after her husband Paul’s death in 2018.

“When Paul died, everybody said, ‘How’d you do it?’ and I said, ‘Well, I hit the road running,’” Flattery said in an interview with the Beacon. “I found outlets.”

Initially she started writing letters to her late husband, as her counselor from Gilchrist Hospice Care Center had suggested.

“It was only a month after Paul had died, and I was just a mess,” she remembered. “I ended up writing about 25 letters.”

During that time Flattery learned about haikus in a writing class and became entranced with their structure.

“Once I found out about them, everything I thought about was in a haiku,” she said.

Flattery’s outlet became the letters, the letters became haikus, and from the

haikus came healing.

While writing poetry aided her in the grieving process, she said, her haikus are not maudlin.

“Those three lines, to me, are very powerful. There’s nothing sad about it. They provide strength to people,” she said.

The makings of a book

Flattery began to send out her poems to friends and family, including her daughter’s sister-in-law, Karen Truant. A photographer, Truant told Flattery she had photos that would go well with her haikus.

Truant asked, “Would you want to think about doing a book?” Flattery agreed and they collaborated, and in June 2020, they self-published Healing with Haikus

“The thing that’s amazing about this book is that I wrote my haikus not knowing about her photographs,” Flattery said. Truant “took her photographs not knowing about my haikus. And they just kind of…worked.”

The book has been well received, with copies distributed to the authors’ friends, family members and even the Cockeysville library.

Accessible to all

The simplicity of haikus makes them accessible to a wide audience, including

those with medical conditions.

For instance, Flattery shared her book with a woman whose mother had had a recent stroke. Although she loved reading, she couldn’t read for long periods of time anymore. Three lines with a profound message were the perfect solution.

“When I told them about my book, the response was, ‘I think my mother can read three lines,’” Flattery said.

Flattery’s haikus have provided healing not only to herself but to others as well. The Baltimore County resident hears from readers all over the country.

“The latest call was from one of my friends in South Carolina,” Flattery said. “She said, ‘I just loved your book so much. But my husband just died, and your book just means so much more to me now.’ … I never dreamed that this book would carry that much to so many people.”

With poetry, Flannery found a creative outlet to process her own grief, but in the end it helped her connect with others.

“Haikus are very comforting,” she said, “and they bring peace.”

Healing with Haikus is available on Amazon.

Jane E. Flattery, who was born and raised in Baltimore, attended a book signing for her book, Healing with Haikus

Speed dating

including those who used photos that were not their own. Of course, that can’t happen in person.

Good way to make friends

Like Gianturco, Linda R. tried dating apps, but she too was disenchanted with texting someone for a month before they ever met in person, if at all.

She heard about speed dating from a friend, who invited her to go to an event. Although her friend got cold feet and cancelled as Linda was on her way, Linda forged ahead and liked it so much that she has since attended another event.

“I met a lot of nice guys that I would definitely be friends with and would consider dating,” Linda said.

“I ended up going out on further dates with two of them… one of them for four months. We remained friends, and I see him every once in a while.”

Though neither was a lasting match, the experience left her optimistic about speed dating. In fact, one of her friends is still dating someone she met at speed dating last winter, and another met her husband speed dating in the early 2000s.

Local matchmakers

Speed dating originated in Los Angeles in 1998 at a matchmaking event organized by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, according to The New York Times. He and several friends developed the idea while brainstorming ways to serve the Jewish community and help singles find marriage partners. It caught on.

The Maryland Singles Social Club hosts a range of activities, often themed to bring people together with shared interests, such as travel or pickleball, or those who want to participate in a lighthearted activity, like bowling. However, one activity is the most popular.

“Speed dating is the number-one offering,” Campbell said. “Singles over 50 want a certain atmosphere. We provide an experience…with elevated venues like the Wine Collective in Hampden.”

Another company, Pre-Dating Speed Dating, hosts speed dating events for those 50 and older in the Baltimore area.

Stephanie Robinson, 59, is a Pre-Dating event host who helps set the tone for speed dating events.

Robinson discovered the phenomenon because she herself hadn’t had luck with online dating. Several years ago, she attended a speed dating event, noticed what the host did and thought it would be a great job for her. Although she didn’t meet her match, she landed on a new career and has been hosting since 2023.

Robinson said participants often confide in her that they are nervous. She tells them, “I have been where you are, but once the event starts, the nervousness will go away.” At the end of the event, those previously anxious daters tell Robinson she was right; their nervousness went away. “I do my best to make them feel comfortable,” she said. “My motto is, if I can contribute to

someone’s happiness, I’m happy.”

It seems she is good at it. When Linda attended her first event, Robinson’s warm greeting helped set her at ease — and made her want to return, she said.

“People spend too much time socializing online,” Linda said. “I love that we got dressed up, we met in person, we put our phones away.”

How to dive in

Several speed dating companies are active in the area, in addition to Pre-Dating Speed Dating, but they don’t tailor events specifically for the over-50 crowd. An evening typically costs between $20 and $45.

For those who are apprehensive, consider inviting another single friend to join you. Even if they cancel on you at the last minute, you can go on your own, like Linda, reminding yourself that you’re not the only one to feel a bit of nerves before putting yourself out there.

Maryland Singles Social Club hosts

events in Baltimore, Howard, Montgomery and Prince George’s counties. For upcoming events, visit mdssclub.com.

Pre-Dating Speed Dating hosts monthly events in and around Baltimore; see predating.com.

ANSWERS TO CROSSWORD FROM PAGE 22

ANSWERS TO SCRABBLE

TO JUMBLE

Jumbles: ANNOY PLUNK TOPPLE COMMON Answer: The construction of a 555-foot-tall obelisk in Washington, D.C., was — MONUMENTAL

MOST COMMUNITIES ARE 62 AND BETTER

ANNE ARUNDEL COUNTY

The Greens at Hammonds Lane: 410-636-1141

Park View at Furnace Branch: 410-761-4150

Park View at Severna Park: 410-544-3411

BALTIMORE

CITY

Ednor Apartments I: 410-243-0180

Ednor Apartments II: 410-243-4301

The Greens at Irvington Mews: 227-240-8179

The Greens at Irvington Mews II: 240-209-4809

Park Heights Place: 410-578-3445

Park View at Ashland Terrace: 410-276-6440

Park View at Coldspring: 410-542-4400

BALTIMORE COUNTY

Cove Point Apartments I: 410-288-2344

Cove Point Apartments II: 410-288-1660

Evergreen Senior Apartments: 410-780-4888

The Greens at English Consul: 410-789-3000

The Greens at Liberty Road: 410-655-1100

The Greens at Logan Field: 410-288-2000

The Greens at Rolling Road: 410-744-9988

Park View at Catonsville: 410-719-9464

Park View at Dundalk: 410-288-5483 • 55 & Better

Park View at Fullerton: 410-663-0665

Park View at Miramar Landing: 410-391-8375

BALTIMORE COUNTY (CONT.)

Park View at Randallstown: 410-655-5673

Park View at Rosedale: 410-866-1886

Park View at Taylor: 410-663-0363

Park View at Towson: 410-828-7185

Park View at Woodlawn: 410-281-1120

EASTERN SHORE

Park View at Easton: 410-770-3070

HARFORD COUNTY

Park View at Bel Air: 410-893-0064

Park View at Box Hill: 410-515-6115

HOWARD COUNTY

Park View at Colonial Landing: 410-796-4399

Park View at Columbia: 410-381-1118

Park View at Ellicott City: 410-203-9501

Park View at Ellicott City II: 410-203-2096

Park View at Emerson: 301-483-3322

Park View at Snowden River: 410-290-0384

PRINCE

GEORGE’S COUNTY

Park View at Bladensburg: 301-699-9785 • 55 & Better

Park View at Laurel: 301-490-1526

Park View at Laurel II: 301-490-9730

Scrabble answers on p. 21

Crossword Puzzle

Across

1. Dog tag data

5. Sheet of stamps

9. Donned

13. Billiards bounce

14. North Carolina university whose mascot is “The Phoenix”

15. Command to military marchers

16. The Western part of Hispaniola

17. “Now you know the ___ of the story”

18. “It’s ___” (excitement at Broadway or the ballpark)

19. Response to adored dancewear

22. Debt vowels, scrambled

23. Web portal with HQ in Redmond, WA

24. Only referenced Yogi Bear

33. Infuriates

34. Emmy-winning actress, Ward

35. Like some trail surfaces

36. Plumber’s vehicle

37. ___ pal (lady friend)

38. Dir. from Annapolis to West Point

39. Where you can gamble on most cruise ships

42. Product of the liver

44. Role in Young Frankenstein

45. Tours the fashion dairy

48. It is covertly in both focaccia and ciabatta breads

49. Part Steven and Stephen both agree on

50. Rail car full of Marlboros

59. Restaurant chain that used a kangaroo in its commercials in the ‘70’s

60. About 2.2 lbs. (on Earth)

61. Features of all Great Wolf Lodges

62. It’s just a river in Egypt

63. Vigorous spirit

64. Further under the weather

65. Bag with a shoulder strap

66. Unit of force

67. Applies a tip to the bill

Indian bread

2. Like Death Valley

3. Proposals to the board

4. Actor Estevez

5. Peeping Tom, perhaps

6. Downwind, nautically

7. All up in someone’s business

8. Put a mummy in long-term storage

9. Additional unnamed items

10. Most visited Hawaiian island

11. Letters in both UNDERLIT and OVERLIT

12. “___, Brute?”

13. When doubled (or tripled), a dance

20. Most innings have six

21. GI entertainment

24. Mariah Carey and Beyonce

25. About to blow your top

26. Unable to float

27. Artistic transition

28. Unit of fire severity

29. Ivy foe of UPenn

30. Drums Ringo played in You’re Going to Lose That Girl

31. Live (as a TV show)

32. Those expressing Yiddish angst

40. One who checked out of the Big House early

41. Ending for fan- and lun-

43. Response to “are not”

44. Like a beer from the cooler

46. What you may get if your password is PASSWORD

47. Dream world

50. Darken car windows

51. Endpoint of the B&O

52. “Like a ___ out of the blue”

53. Greasy

54. Extended family

55. Fine-tune

56. You may do it to your own nose or someone else’s hand

57. Cheers for the matador

58. Open-Source Robotics (briefly)

CLASSIFIEDS

The Beacon prints classified advertising under the following headings: Business & Employment Opportunities; Caregivers; Computer Services; Entertainment, Financial, For Sale; For Sale/Rent: Real Estate; Free; Health; Home/ Handyman Services; Legal Services; Miscellaneous; Personals; Personal Services; Vacation Opportunities; and Wanted. For submission guidelines and deadlines, see the box on the right.

CAVEAT EMPTOR!

The Beacon does not knowingly accept obscene, offensive, harmful, or fraudulent advertising. However, we do not investigate any advertisers or their products and cannot accept responsibility for the integrity of either. Respondents to classified advertising should always use caution and their best judgment.

EMPLOYMENT & REAL ESTATE ADS:

We will not knowingly or intentionally accept advertising in violation of federal, state, and local laws prohibiting discrimination based on race, color, national origin, sex, familial status or handicap in connection with employment or the sale or rental of real estate.

DRIVERS WANTED / GREAT FOR RETIREES / Locally 35-year-old family-owned company is looking for dependable people to make delivers to businesses. / Make your own schedule / Call (410) 234-3100 for more information and schedule an appointment to apply.

SAVVY SENIOR TECH HUB - Friendly 1:1 tech support designed for seniors! Learn smartphones, tablets & computers at your own pace. Patient instruction, affordable rates. Don’t let technology intimidate you - master it! Call Stefan at 443-281-3638.

PATIENT, PRACTICAL, PERSONAL. I can help you get comfortable and confident using your smartphone, tablet, laptop, printer, TV, Alexa, etc. 20+ years experience with all skill levels, PC, Mac. Julia: 443-436-2612, computercoachbaltimore.weebly.com

PRIME TIMERS OF BALTIMORE is a welcoming community for mature gay and bisexual men. The Prime Timers offer social activities that cater to the mind and body. We meet for dinners, a book club, potlucks, hiking, tours, bowling, and more! Join us! Visit baltimoreprimetimers.org or email info@ptbalto.org for info.

UP TO $15,000.00 OF GUARANTEED LIFE INSURANCE! No medical exam or health questions. Cash to help pay funeral and other final expenses. Call Physicians Life Insurance Company866-212-1092 or visit www.Life55plus.info/beacon

OAK WOOD ENTERTAINMENT SET - $65 (47”L x 25”H x 21”D). 2pc Storage Oak Wood$100. Smoke Glass Door 4 Shelves (53”H x 24”W x 19”D) New White Storm Door - $100 (79”H x 32”W). New Toaster oven - $50 (23”L x 13”D x 30”H). Steel Storage shelves No rust$40 (3ft W x 3ft H) And $20 (2ft W x 30”H). 443739-7734.

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PORTABLE OXYGEN CONCENTRATOR

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HOLIDAY CLEANING MADE EASY! Get your home or office sparkling for the season with Good News Cleaning Service LLC. Serving the community for over 15+ years—Local, woman-owned, professional, reliable, affordable, bonded & insured. We offer on-time, weekly, bi-weekly and monthly cleaning services— perfect for holiday gatherings and end of the year refreshes. Let us take care of the mess so you can enjoy the holidays stress-free! Call Emilia today. 410-218-8086.

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HOW TO PLACE A CLASSIFIED AD

All classified ads must be submitted and paid for online, via our website, www.thebeaconnewspapers.com/classifieds Deadlines and Payments: To appear in the next issue, your ad text and payment must be entered by the 5th of the preceding month (for Baltimore and Howard County editions); by the 20th (for Washington edition).

Cost will be based on the number of characters and spaces in your ad: • $25 for 1-250 • $35 for 251-500. • $50 for 501-750 (maximum length). The website will calculate this for you.

Note: Maryland contractors must provide a valid MHIC number. Each real estate listing qualifies as one ad. All ads are subject to publisher’s discretion. Payment will be refunded if unacceptable for any reason.

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AMERICAN RESIDENTIAL HEATING & COOLING. As temps outside start to climb, the season for savings is now. $49 cooling or heating system tune up. Save up to $2000 on a new heating and cooling system (restrictions apply.) FREE estimates. Many payment options available. Licensed and insured professionals. Call today 1-877-691-0273.

JACUZZI BATH REMODEL can install a new, custom bath or shower in as little as one day. For a limited time, waiving ALL installation costs! (Additional terms apply. Subject to change and vary by dealer. (Offer ends 9/30/25.) Call 1-833-994-0538.

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WE ARE IN SEARCH OF DARREN TAYLOR who has previously lived at an address in Baltimore City and whose last known address was Montgomery Drive, Forest Hill, Maryland. Please contact Kathryn at kathimullins@gmail.com.

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DIRECTV - All your entertainment. Nothing on your roof! Sign up for Directv and get your first three months of Max, Paramount+, Showtime, Starz, MGM+ and Cinemax included. Choice package $84.99/mo. Some restrictions apply. Call DIRECTV 1-888-572-4953. PAYING TOP CASH FOR ANTIQUES AND

COLLECTIBLES. House calls made with prompt, courteous service seven days a week and 25 years of experience! Buying toys, trains, militaria, glassware, advertising merchandise, paper items and much more! Contact Mason or Megan at: 443-306-8816.