The Andalucian - October 2014

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Editor’s Slice Hello

Well from ghouls on the front cover to ear candles and Christmas recipes — I know, it’s early! You can’t say we haven’t got something for everyone in this month’s issue, though! There are the usual Just for Fun pages, including our quick-fire animal quiz on page 13; we’ve got the brilliant Ella Durham and her Hallowe’en story on page 10 and of course the amusing Men’s Matters on page 8. Then, as if men didn’t matter enough, we’ve got the next part of our Spanish household series on the role of genders on page 30. If you are thinking of getting out and doing something whilst this good weather is still here, try the Campillos Jamon feria on November 9. It’s held in the main park/pedestrian area where the usual weekly market is, and there are so many local ham producers with their wares on offer to sample and buy. Why not make use of the event to stock up on goodies for Christmas? Talking of Christmas, don’t forget to book your stall early at the Andalucían Auctions’ Christmas Fayre this year — it’s only €2 for a pitch, donated to the marvellous Cudeca Cancer Charity. Well until next month, enjoy the weather and enjoy the magazine…

Mike www.facebook.com/theandalucian The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n, Campillos 29320, Malaga Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott 2

Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alice Marriott Ella Durham Henry Scowcroft Heather Jones John Sharrock Taylor Sandra Wrightson Sarah Jackson Shannon McCarthy Tricia Johnson

Next deadline: 10 November We won’t be beaten on advertising prices

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Turn back time with the Mollina Artists Group

Things to Do

Dig out your trilby and Brylcreem, glam up with victory rolls or dress down with overalls and headscarves as the wonderful artistes’ group of Mollina invites you to join in celebrating the era of Ol’ Blue Eyes himself at the ‘Back to 1940s’ show.

This year, in a fun-filled tribute, the talented Mollina Artistes Group is inviting you to join its members at their all-singing, all-dancing salute to the era. With a plethora of sensational hits, you are in for a real toe-tapping treat — audience participation is fully encouraged, so indulge yourself in a wonderful nostalgic night full of memorable tunes and dance the night away in true 1940s style.

The 40s was a time for picking up the pieces while forging new ground in technology, science, government intelligence tracking and popular culture. It was the end of the golden age of swing, and jazz — as we know it today — was slowly coming to the forefront. Step back in time this November; sing along to the hits that ruled the airwaves and made the bobbysoxers swoon. From the movies come the fashion style and of course, the music – it was indeed one of the most memorable decades in history.

The acclaimed artistes have wowed many an audience with previous productions: ‘Knight of Merriment’ (Henry VIII and his royal court), ‘Old Tyme music hal’l, ‘Dickensian carols’ and the joke-filled pantomime ‘The old woman who lived in a shoe’. They now look forward to welcoming both old and new friends as they transport you ‘Back to 1940s’. The group is appearing on Friday 7 November at Restaurante Angel at Alameda and Saturday 15 November at the Salar Theatre in Avenida de Andalucía in Salar (Granada), so make sure you don’t miss out. For contact information and prices see advert below.

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Health & Beauty

Understanding our differences: A guide to the happy ever after

by Sarah Jackson

How happy are you in your relationships — especially in your relationship with your lover or spouse? If things for you aren’t exactly ‘happy ever after’ do not despair. For most couples, the fact is however much you love your partner, once you’ve ridden off into the sunset for a few years, months or even days, your relationship can become tricky. The problem lies in the way we think — or rather, how differently we think. Men and women are generally wired differently. This little-known secret is the cause of countless misunderstandings that occur between the sexes. Remember ‘Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus’? In his book, relationship counsellor John Gray explores the differences between men and women and offers a simple solution: couples must acknowledge and accept that men and women are different, and by understanding these differences they can develop happier relationships.

In general, so Mark Gungor tells us, men’s brains tend to be made up of lots and lots of boxes. When men talk, they open one box at a time, discuss only the contents of that box, finish the discussion and put the box away, taking great care to ensure that the box they have been dealing with does not touch any of the other boxes.

So, what are the differences? n his humorous and insightful seminars on how to have a happy marriage, Mark Gungor suggests that often, what are simply brain processing differences are perceived as enormous heart-centred, emotional problems, where each partner thinks that their other half does not care about them. By understanding the wiring we can better understand each other, and remember why we got together in the first place and what we love about each other.

Women’s brains, however, could not be more different from those of our beloved men, Pastor Gungor tells us. They are made up of great big balls of wire, where everything is connected to everything else, and everything is driven by the energy of ‘Emotion’. In a woman's brain, the shopping is connected to the job, which is connected to the money which is connected to the kids... it is all connected — a great big mass of interconnected supercharged wires. Before we discuss these fundamental differences further, there is something all you ladies out there need to know about your men. Men have a favourite box, and it is to this box they will go whenever they have the chance. It is a box we ladies do not understand — it is the ‘Nothing’ box. Women, as a rule, find doing nothing a pretty hard concept to understand. We virtually never do ‘nothing’ — we have the art of ‘doing’ positively finetuned! For men, however, doing nothing is a vital activity — or non-activity, depending what sex you are. Continued on page 6

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Talking Point


Health & Beauty Men need to do nothing in order to unwind. Women don’t. What’s more, most women find it extremely irritating to witness their man retreating to his ‘Nothing’ box. However when a man is stressed, that is exactly where he needs to go, and what do we do? Most of us unenlightened women go chasing off after him, shoving a foot in the door of his ‘Nothingness’ and filling it full of ‘Something’. When a nothing box is full of something, by default it is no longer ‘nothing’ and it therefore doesn’t work; the male’s need to vegetate in the ‘Nothing’ box is thwarted. When a woman is stressed, she needs to deal with it in a completely different way. She needs to gather all her resources and ‘talk about it’ a lot and in many different ways, often to many different people and especially to the most important person in her life, her beloved. If she does not, Gungor tells us, her brain will explode! Many a devoted husband or partner is totally terrified when his woman begins to ‘talk about it’. Instead of understanding what is going on they become preoccupied with the idea that they need to come up with a solution to the problem, or in some way ‘fix it’ for her. This is not the case. Gentlemen, when the light of your life begins to talk they do not need you to say, do or fix anything — all they want is for you to stay quiet and listen…. and then listen…and then listen a bit more! The occasional grunt, or encouraging nod of the head, is all that is required of you. Do not under any circumstances offer solutions. Do, however, pay attention. Women process how they feel by talking it out. All the individual connections that could be made within the brain are tried out, connected and disconnected, reconnected again…until they find the right one, or ones. The process produces the

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answer. By offering a way in which she could solve the problem you are throwing a spanner into the internal workings of her mind; she will undoubtedly short circuit and blast you into oblivion if you try. This baffles men. Why talk about it unless you want an answer? Here we are back to one of the fundamental differences between the male and the female brain. Ladies, the reason your man has been offering solutions and trying to fix it all these years is because when he discusses his troubles with another man, he does so because he expects his friend to come up with an answer. He mistakenly believes that when you discuss your problems with him, you are asking his advice. Similarly, ladies, when a man goes to his nothing box, or his ‘cave’ as John Gray prefers to call it, leave him there. Do not attempt to enter. No matter how much you want him to ‘talk about it’ — STOP! Be quiet, retreat quietly and leave him alone. He does not want to discuss it. It wouldn’t help him. He needs to vegetate. This single difference between the way the sexes process information and manage stress is responsible for countless misunderstandings and hurt feelings. By offering to help our partners by doing what works for us, we are probably making things a whole lot worse. By understanding that the sexes generally deal with these situations differently we can behave in a way which speeds the healing process, clearing the way for us to hop right back onto that white stallion and ride off into the distance… or something like that. If you are experiencing relationship challenges, or would just like to be free of the problem that you have been unable to rid yourself of, call Sarah for a confidential initial consultation. See page 35 for contact details.

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Men’s Matters

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Men’s Matters

Landlord, make mine a pint of....

by A Man

Whether you’re a seasoned drinker or a young chap who has just enjoyed his first pint, beer is generally the most diverse, cheapest and best drink to enjoy year round. With so many types out there, it can sometimes be hard to choose. You know the situation; you are standing in the supermarket with a party to host or attend, not knowing what pack to choose — the most expensive, the most popular name or maybe the most eye-catching packaging? Well, if you find yourself in this position, you can use this reference list of beers to make a more calculated purchase of the pure nectar… Ales The beauty about an ale is that of all the types of beers, this has been around for the longest — tried and tested by generations of guys before us. People in 15th century England were sitting around enjoying good ales. So what is it about the dark stuff that makes it so good? Well one possible answer is that when the ale is brewed, it doesn’t convert as many sugars into alcohol and therefore results in a sweeter and fruitier taste. A nice pint of ale goes with pretty much everything. Most beer experts agree that ales are an excellent type of beer for any occasion, whether you’re tucking into a juicy steak or enjoying the odd canapé at a party!

If you can find it over here, try an IPA. When I was a young beer drinker, I thought that IPA was a different type of beer but really, IPA just stands for Indian Pale Ale; IPAs still retain the sweet fruity flavour of ales as well as an added hops flavour. Lagers Whether you know it or not, you’ve probably drunk a type of beer — lager — at some time. Lagers make up most of the mass-produced labels. Most have a significant amount of carbonation and a crisp taste. They generally range from a very light to a very dark colour, depending on the brewer and in what type of environment they’re brewed. A good microbrew lager (not a domestic lager) is an excellent way to introduce yourself into the world of gourmet beers. Lagers go excellently with spicy foods, Mexican food, Indian food and pizzas. With the typical Spanish male market, lager seems to be the main ‘beer’ choice of refreshment — Cruzcampo is a good example of a locally-produced lager. When you are in a new environment, a guide to a good lager is to see what the locals are drinking. Whilst this may be seen as a cop-out answer, in my opinion the regional microbrew is often the best lager. Stouts It’s hard to imagine a list of beer types without putting a stout on it. Stout’s origin is quite muddled, but it can be argued that it is essentially the beer of Ireland. Stouts are a very dark, full-bodied type of beer; they’re very thick and can have a flavour very similar to coffee, but they can also take on many other tastes including sweet, bitter, milky and even oatmeal. A huge bonus is that stouts are generally a meal in themselves! They are so thick and strong it’s hard to imagine eating anything for a while after enjoying your first stout. The brave should note, though, that a stout goes excellently with a gourmet hamburger, if you still have room in your stomach after consuming the velvet drink!

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Men’s Matters

Pilsner Pilsners originated from a town that is now part of the Czech Republic. The beers have an enticing golden hue; they are clear and sparkly. Pilsners have a very strong, ‘hoppy,’ full flavour, generally more overpowering than your standard lagers. Pilsners are soft and easy to drink because they don’t have a thick body. They are best enjoyed with most meats, but I don’t find them a great accompaniment to beef. Pilsners go well with mild cheese as well. Lamb burgers, anyone? Being a regular stout drinker I would recommend every brand of it, but bear in mind that stouts are much like snowflakes — each one is completely different. They vary not only from distributor to distributor, but even from production day to production day. Don’t believe me? Go to your local Irish bar and order a Guinness (make sure it’s from the tap). Then go back the next day and ask them if they’ve switched out the keg from last night, and order a Guinness again. Notice the subtle differences from yesterday’s and today’s pint? So if you’ve had a ‘bad experience’ with a stout in the past, go to your local bar or buy a bottle at the supermarket and try it again. I can almost guarantee that you’ll enjoy the stout today — but then again I may be biased!

While Pilsners are not my favourite type of beers, my friend swears by Pilsner Urquell – Bohemian Pilsner. If you can’t find this in a local bar or store — stop. Try out one of the other kinds of Pilsners out there instead. If you can’t find one, just grab another Guinness — OK, I’m definitely biased! Don’t forget there’s an entire world of beers out there. Depending on where you go or where you live, you can create a list of your personal favourite beers. So instead of just opting for the safe purchase of a case of ‘well-known’ booze for the next party gift, try picking up a couple of different types of beers off this list and casually drop in the odd fact you’ve learned here to wow your host!

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Short Story

The Hallowe’en party

by Ella Durham

They huddled together at the rear of the church; out of the sight. It was late and the air was bitingly cold. Emily pulled nervously at her long blonde hair and wrapped her clothes tightly around her while Jane stretched up to look out of the leaded window above the font. It was not the clichéd scene of silhouetted witches flying on broomsticks across the face of a moon which she saw, but a moonless sky and heavy drizzle. Its thick haze covered the sodium streetlights which lined the lane from the church to the village, making them resemble will-o-the wisps and golden spectres dangling in mid-air. Jane sighed and lowered herself back down. She had hoped for a clearer night for this All Hallows’ Eve. “Just remind me again why we are here doing this. It’s almost midnight and it seems we’ve been here forever, yet nothing is happening,” she said. Emily gave her a hard stare. “We are here, Jane dearest, because your chum Lucy from the place next door dared us to do it tonight. She said it would be a laugh and you agreed, so quit moaning now. This was not my idea.” Jane nodded, twisted her mouth into a grim smirk and resumed her lookout at the window. The gravestones stood in the grey mist like soldiers guarding the dead. All was silent. Emily looked around the church and chewed her lip. “All the same, I don’t like it in here,” she complained. “This place at night gives me the creeps. I wish they would get here soon so that we can prove we did it and then we can all go back to normality.” “They’ll come, “Jane reassured her. “They always do. Then we’ll show ’em what we’re made of! We’ll get this party started good and proper. I hope someone remembers to bring some music. Otherwise it will be deathly dull!” Emily rolled her eyes, sighed and sank down onto the flagstone floor. That was cold too, but she didn’t seem to notice. She looked up. “But what happens if we do see some...er... body or something? What do we do then?” Jane shrugged. “Dunno. Never done this before. Scream, I suppose, then get the hell out of here. It’s bound to be scary. That’s the whole point of this. Honestly, Emily, you’re

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not entering into the spirit of this, are you? Are you okay? You look very pale?” Emily turned away, scolded. “I’ll be fine,” she replied sulkily. “Just don’t leave this place without me if it all kicks off, all right?” Jane didn’t answer. An owl hooted. Emily jumped. “What was that!? Damned bird! I nearly shot out of my skin there.” Jane cocked an eyebrow. “Really, Emily, just try and get hold of yourself. It’s only a bit of Hallowe’en fun,” she chuckled. “Look, when they get here just follow me and do what I do and go for it. There’s no such thing as tomorrow, yeah?” Emily gave her a wan smile. She’d never been very brave in her entire life so she was unlikely to start now. She tried to swallow but it was no good. She’d be as flighty and jittery as she’d always been. She just hoped Jane didn’t see through her. Jane shook her head and pushed her face up against the window pane. Something had moved outside in the churchyard. She strained to see what it was through the swirling mist. She beckoned Emily to the window and pointed down the path. Beams of silvery torchlight shone through the churchyard gates, swinging this way and that, piercing the haze and lighting up the old headstones. “There, see that? What did I tell you? Lucy said those youths from the village would come here tonight. Apparently they’re all brash and bravado when it comes to their Hallowe’en midnight party in the churchyard. Some sort of rite of passage or something. So let’s just go out and say hello while we wait for Lucy and the others to turn up. Maybe we can join in their fun,” giggled Jane with a wicked glint in her eye. “We always wanted to go to a Hallowe’en party but had nobody to go with. Now, here we are!”

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Continued on page 12


Spotlight


Short Story Emily chuckled, pulled herself up, smoothed down her Tudor brocaded skirts and nipped bodice and fixed the veil and mantle onto her blonde trailing locks. Jane shook her shoulders and let the long silver gown fall downwards to the floor. Her black ringlets tumbled onto her alabaster white shoulders. She flitted up and down the aisle, all aglow.

If you have enjoyed Ella’s short story why not read her latest novel, Ebony Blood? You can order either the e-book or paperback version though Ella’s website www.elladurham.co.uk

“Ooh, that feels good. Bit of action at last. Ready?” Jane looked at Emily who was still adjusting her heavy dress. “Almost. Can’t believe my mother wanted me to wear this in the end but too late now, not after all this time,” she muttered. “Oh, just one more thing. There!” Emily removed her head and swung it into the crook of her right arm. Her slender neck had no end, just a mass of veins and bloodied muscles. Jane looked at her with dead, hollow eyes, gave a haunting laugh which pulled back her lips to show white fangs. “Let’s go party!” she cackled and the pair of them walked smoothly through the solid church wall into the graveyard.

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Get more info on Ella Durham at: www.facebook.com/elladurhamauthor @LornaElla www.elladurham.co.uk

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Just for Fun

Try our quick fire animal quiz You may know that a group of dogs is called a pack, but do you know the name for a group of the following? 1 Barracudas 2 Alligators 3 Bison 4 Caterpillars 5 Owls 6 Sea birds 7 Cobras 8 Leopards 9 Meerkats 10 Mice

3 Rabbits 4 Swans 5 Foxes General knowledge

Another animal group that you may consider is a nag of wives and a jerk of husbands! On with the quiz‌. What name is given to the female of these species? 1 Bears 2 Geese

1 What is the most popular purebred cat? 2 What does piebald hair/coat mean? 3 What food makes up nearly all (around 99 per cent) of a giant panda’s diet? 4 True or false? Mice live for up to 10 years. 5 Bees are found on every continent of earth except for one. Which is it? Turn to page 36 for the answers.

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Trade Talk

Be creative with your property marketing by Sarah and David Rick Creative Property Marketing Selling a property privately via the internet is the future… but is it for you? Selling a property is always a stressful experience and as the method of selling property moves away from traditional estate agency and towards using the internet, some may say this sounds even more daunting. But in reality, is it actually that scary?

Montejaque property using our services. Linda and Andrew had a rather jaundiced view of ‘property professionals in Spain’ to say the least! This set us a challenge from the start, to prove that not everyone involved with property in Spain was the same.

We have been monitoring this scenario carefully — observing how our private sellers handle selling via this contemporary method. Our findings are not necessarily surprising but are very interesting…

What they loved about selling privately through Creative Property Marketing was the control they gained. Yes, we produced their property details for them but they could use their own photographs and have input into what was written. After all, who knows a property better than its current owner! Any potential buying enquiries were handed straight over to Linda and Andrew, giving them complete control over the next stage of their selling experience.

What we have established is that those sellers who succeed in selling in record time and with ease are the ones who communicate well, are pro-active in their approach and show urgency to reach the buyers before others do! Linda and Andrew, a professional British couple who sold one of their village properties in Montejaque through us during August, are a good example of using this technique successfully. They have many holiday rental properties in the village and want to sell them all over the coming years — one or two at a time. They came to us in April via a recommendation —another British seller who had already sold their

This really suited our sellers, as our innovative approach to property selling is not dissimilar to Linda and Andrew’s normal business practices when dealing with their holiday bookings. Understanding the importance of communication, they reacted quickly to make contact with the buyers and encouraged viewings at every opportunity — even using their housekeeper to open up for viewings if they weren’t around. It worked perfectly. Linda is a lawyer in the UK and when it came to negotiating a deal with the buyer, this came easily to her. Despite her profession, a Spanish lawyer represented them here and the entire sales process, from instruction to completion — just four months — has been easy and enjoyable for the couple. Of course, we are thrilled for them. Now we have to find a buyer for the next property they sell in Montejaque — no pressure, then!

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Trade Talk So, if you are a seller who: • Enjoys communicating with others via email or phone • Would be pro-active in their approach to getting a buyer’s attention • Believes they are the best person to show their property to a buyer • Is happy to ask a neighbour or friend to do the viewings for them if away from the property • Would not mind meeting a buyer at a local landmark • Would relish the opportunity to seal a deal with a buyer • Is happy to communicate with us and ask for help if needed • Is comfortable with asking us how they can generate more enquiries and viewings for their property — there is always a solution! Why aren’t you selling your property privately already? You would be great at it and would save yourself a lot of money in the process!

You can contact us and ask for help at any stage and we will step in. However, a pro-active approach and willingness to chase up the buyers who enquire about your property are essential — it does not matter if this is by email or phone; communication is the key to selling privately! See our advert on the back cover for details of how to contact us.

When selling with the help of Creative Property Marketing, you are not alone.

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Spotlight

The tills of death go

ting-a-ling-a-ling

by John Sharrock Taylor

The bells of death go ting-a-ling-a-ling For you but not for me. (First World War Song) I used to like Mike Parkinson, until he became so doggedly persistent about burying me. It seems such a liberty when the man is all of seven years older than me. But whenever I switch on the telly that earnest, craggy Yorkshire face is there, regarding me with soulful sincerity, while that earnest, craggy Yorkshire voice reminds me that the grave is already gaping wide for fogies such as I. The other Thursday, Val and I went to the English market at Iznajar. Right at the entrance to the site there was a chap selling odds and ends from a stall, so we stopped to pass the time of day and buy a few books. ‘That'll be just two euros, please, and I have a little gift for you.' He smiled, with all the warmth of a crocodile on Colgate, and handed me my purchases, together with a square white envelope with a tastefully-etched black border: 'No, don't open it until you're back at home,' he intoned. Light dawned. Here was yet another corpse-napper. I dropped the 'little gift' into my shopping bag, where it remained until I eventually tipped it, unopened, into the recycling bin. Val and I wandered off, separately, into the main part of the market. Like Lonnie Donegan's old man, I hadn't gone but a few yards when a lady leapt out and grabbed me by the gorblimeys:

didn't ignore mortality — rather the opposite in fact. My parents weren't much into churchy stuff but my formidable grandmother took care of my religious upbringing, and that included the constant message that in the midst of life we were in death, and should live each day as if it were our last. I attended my first wake — Grandma's oldest sister, great Aunt Polly — at the age of three, and she lay quietly in her box on the kitchen table until it was time for the men in black toppers to cart her off to the holy bone yard. 'Well yes, as a matter of fact I do have a funeral plan. In the unlikely event that my tearful spouse can't manage to raise the cash for a casket, I comfort myself with the knowledge that we've brought up two strapping great lads, fed them, clothed them, financed them through school, university and graduate school and seen them safely into stable employment. The least they can do is bury me.' 'Ah, yes, but in Spain...' 'Usted va a informarme que los entierros en España deben tener lugar durante los dos días después de la muerte.' 'I beg your pardon?' 'You don't speak Spanish?

'Good morning! May I ask if you have a funeral plan?'

'Not very much.'

Now, call me old-fashioned (and, believe me, I'll take it as a great compliment if you do) but I grew up in working-class Lancashire in the 1950s. When somebody died, we stopped the clocks, drew the curtains and buttered the boiled-ham barm cakes for the send-off. We would have seen it as the zenith of impertinence and the nadir of bad manners and worse taste if some tout had tried to discuss the disposal of our mortal remains in the marketplace between the tripe and the black puddings. We

'I see. And you were just about to tell me how things are done in Spain.'

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The Psalmist prayed 'Lord, let me know mine end and the number of my days', but we ordinary folk are seldom vouchsafed that information. (Would we really want it?) Val and I know fine well that either of us could pop off before breakfast, but like the Duracell bunny we may tick along for a bit longer yet. We have a couple of centenarians and a stack

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Spotlight of nonagenarians in both our families, including my great uncle Richard who drank copiously, smoked like a chimney and lived, cantankerous and clearminded, to the age of 93, gleefully booby-trapping his Detroit home with shotguns and tripwires to shred the unwary burglar. So while we know very well that it will happen, we don't know when it will happen and more to the point, we don't really know where it will happen. A mathematician friend of ours, recovering very slowly at 60 from a quadruple heart bypass, told us sadly that he expected to die in Spain. At 75 he's still working full-time as a statistician, cheerfully crunching numbers for his native state of Maine. As the insurance ad puts it 'El uno nunca sabe' and one of the things I definitely don't savvy is whether I shall pop my clogs in Andalucia or Aspull (my family's home village in Lancashire, for those readers sadly unaware of the geography of God's Own County). It could even happen in a grandpa-grandma flat chez one of the aforesaid offspring in Amsterdam or Minneapolis. If I turn up my toes tomorrow, I'm fortunate in having a Spanish friend who happens to be an undertaker and, if in Lancs, Messrs Middleton & Woods of Wigan have despatched several generations of us, swiftly and with style, and without ever ripping us off with fake satin linings. Mind you, what with the burgeoning nuclear programmes of North Korea and Iran, and the fact that the loonies seem increasingly to be in charge of the Middle East, it's not beyond the realms of possibility that Armageddon is just around the corner and, in the words of dear old Tom Lehrer, we'll all go together when we go. And what price your brass handles then?

squeeze you in. Flowers or Good Cause? Classical, Rock or Pop? Dugout, Niche or Crem?' 'Excuse me, I think we're at cross purposes. I'm offering you our funeral services.' 'And I'm offering you ours.' 'But I'm not dead.' 'Neither am I, but clearly you find that fact irrelevant or we wouldn't be having this conversation. Of course you would have to depart more or less immediately to meet the proposed deadline, but we'd be happy to help with that. Do you have any preferences as to exit method? 'Are you crazy?' 'I don't think so. At least, I'm not the one who’s just rung up to pester a complete stranger in the hope of making a buck out of his inevitable demise. Hello... hello...Oh dear, we seem to have lost the connection.'

So thanks, but no thanks, Mike (and all you other hearse-chasers out there). Viva Emu! and you know exactly what you can do with your Parker pen!

We got back from the market and were in the process of unloading the shopping from our geriatric Ford when the telephone rang: 'Do you speak English?' 'It depends,' I replied warily. 'Excellent. I represent the Guiri-Gon Expat Disposal Service S.A. Have you and your partner given any thought to death?' 'We have indeed. Would Saturday at 10am suit you? I don't think we could manage the tramites any earlier than that and, assuming we survive of course, we have a lunch date at two, but I'm sure we could

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Alice’s Wonderland

Everthing changes at lightning speed Hi again, it's Alice Autumn is finally here and so is the rain. We have had some big storms recently and a tree even fell down because the wind was so strong! Luckily nobody got hurt, but unfortunately it fell down whilst I was out, so when I came home I couldn't get past the huge trunk across our lane — Dad had to come and help me climb underneath it — he wasn’t too pleased at 2am! I ended up with small twigs in my hair, so I wasn't very pleased with it either!

at home we can look up towards Teba Castle. His mum hates storms; she gets so jumpy and worried. She even made her husband take me home early a couple of weekends ago. Enough about the weather, though — I’m starting to sound like Dad!

On the other hand we have had some beautiful night skies recently, lit up with stunning lightning. The warning sound of thunder always makes me excited; I tend to grab my camera ready to take pictures of the light show that is bound to follow. The downside to it is that I'm usually up in Teba with my boyfriend and his family so I don’t get the full effect; when I’m

College is getting harder and harder. We're doing our first lot of exams for this term and it's a big change from high school. I am nervous for my results. I just hope I pass them all! My Spanish teacher is mean to us and making us worry by saying that we are all going to fail. I don't believe him — I’m sure, and hope, he is just a wind-up!

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Alice’s Wonderland Not only is college a big change, but it feels like there has been a big change socially at the moment too. Some friends seem to be getting more distant and others closer. I guess it is an age thing but I am worried how much we are all going to change as time goes by, but that's life I suppose. My friend Dany is in my class and has practically turned into our physics teacher as he always gets asked to go to the whiteboard and explain an activity or something. He loves getting the attention. He's new in my school but making many friends and won't stay quiet in class! My boss's baby is growing fast — little Francisco Junior. He is very cute and I have finally managed to see him awake! My boss wants to get his son on a horse as soon as he's six months old. Speaking of which, he has bought two beautiful horses — a black stallion and a pony. He also has a professional dressage rider teaching there for a couple of months. The plan is to get two or three kids into the Spanish junior dressage competitions if he can get them to a good enough standard. The new dressage teacher wants to meet me as I used to do

dressage and have won competitions in the past, but I'm a little nervous considering that it's been about three years since I've done any proper dressage and I’m certain of one change in my life — there is no way I am still going to fit into my dressage jacket anymore! Love, Alice x

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Legal Advice

The new rules governing

holiday rentals

by De Cotta Law The region of Andalucía will soon approve the new law governing holiday rentals of less than one month. If you are renting for more than a month at a time, the contract will continue to be governed by the Law of Urban Rentals. If you do rent property for more than one month you should check the contract with a Spanish lawyer to avoid any problems arising for landlord or tenant. The aim of the new law will be to improve the standard of accommodation available in Spain for holiday rental — Viviendas de Uso Turistico. This is to ensure that people coming to Spain for holidays will have safe and comfortable accommodation — whether staying for two weeks or overnight in a bed and breakfast when the owner rents out by the room. Of course, there is also an important tax or fiscal element as it is important to declare the rental

you receive for your property to the Spanish tax authorities. There has been an increase in the amount of expenditure that can be set off against the monies received — including IBI, community charges, marketing of the property etc — so professional advice is important. Landlords will be able to charge up to 30 per cent in advance and there will be conditions governing cancellation and details required for the contracts. Some of the requirements will be for safety such as fire extinguishers and First Aid kits. There will also be minimum ventilation and heating/air conditioning requirements but the details have not yet been finalised. Registration of the property will be obligatory and there will be administrative fines and sanctions for those who fail to comply. Although the aim will be to register with the tourist authority Viviendas de Uso Turistico to improve the level of accommodation, it is not yet clear if this will be free of charge or if some town halls will take the opportunity to charge for licences. Once the regulation comes into force we will be checking with individual town halls, so contact us for more information. The Guardia Civil has a form of internet registration for guests for the hotel trade but we are obtaining more information about their current and future requirements for holiday rentals. It is anticipated the Andalucían law will be approved in November. As soon as application forms are available for licences we will provide a link from our website (see below). If you want to ensure you have this in good time, please contact us to be placed on our newsletter list and receive free information about many aspects of the law and regulations in Spain. For more information contact us on info@decottalaw. net or if you would like a consultation about the tax requirements contact us on tax@decottalaw.net for branch information and telephone number please see our advert on page 23.

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Health & Beauty

Is aspirin the answer

to beating cancer?

by Henry Scowcroft

You’ll probably have seen the media coverage this summer about aspirin, and whether it can help prevent cancer. The news comes from a new scientific report by international experts — including some funded by Cancer Research UK — looking at all the available evidence about the over-the-counter drug’s pros and cons. So what are they saying? And should you or I start taking it today? Well, the drug has risks as well as benefits, so the advice is: don’t take it without talking to your GP. The recent headlines are the latest chapter in a story that’s been unfolding over the last few years. We’ve been following it since 2008, when we wrote an indepth explanation about the state of the evidence. In 2009, our researchers produced a new report and concluded that more research was still needed. Then, in 2010, a new analysis by researchers in Oxford suggested that the pros were beginning to outweigh the cons – although our experts still called for caution. The last big announcement on the subject came in 2012, when the Oxford team published new data refining what was known about the balance of pros and cons and how the risks and benefits have changed over time.

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We’re funding several studies looking at aspirin in more detail, including: • CAPP3, to look at the best dose of aspirin to prevent bowel cancer in people at high risk of the disease • AspECT, to look at whether it can prevent oesophageal cancer in patients with Barrett’s oesophagus, a condition that increases risk. • Add-Aspirin to look at whether aspirin can enhance the benefits of treatment in people already diagnosed with cancer. The latest analysis pulls together data from all available studies and clinical trials, and analyses more clearly than ever before where the balance lies. It confirms that aspirin protects most strongly against bowel, stomach and oesophageal cancers, and also — more weakly — against lung, prostate and breast cancers. It suggests that the benefits start building from age 50, so there’s little to gain from taking it below that age. And it finds that if 1000 people — 500 men and 500 women — aged 60 take aspirin for ten years, are compared with 1000 people who DON’T take aspirin over the next 20 years you’d see:

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Health & Beauty

Pros: Around 17 fewer deaths, including: • 16 fewer deaths from cancer overall • 1.4 fewer deaths from heart attacks

So to be able to recommend aspirin to people in the full knowledge that the risks are being minimised, and the benefits maximised, doctors need to have a better idea of the following:

Cons: Between two and three extra deaths from: • 1.4 more lethal strokes • 0.3 more serious peptic ulcers • 0.65 more lethal gastric bleeds

• What age should people start, and stop, taking aspirin?

Sounds positive overall, right? Well there are a few important omissions from the analysis that begin to muddy the waters. These risks and benefits aren’t evenly spread around the population. Some are at higher risk of side effects. Some people’s genetic make-up means they break down aspirin at different rates – some faster, some slower than average. Some will have a lower risk of cancer without even taking the drug, so they won’t benefit as much, though they may still experience side effects. It’s an extremely complex — and still slightly murky — picture.

• What dose should they take? • What are the factors that should rule someone out from taking aspirin, and how should we test for them? At the moment, frustratingly, there’s no clear, definitive answer to these questions. And until there are, we’re discouraging people from stocking up on their own supplies of aspirin without seeking medical advice first. So if you’re worried about your risk of cancer, and want to do something about it, your first port of call should always be your GP.

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Just for Fun

Twenty teasers - mixed bag of mind-blowing questions 1. What is the sum of the first five prime numbers? 2. In the 2001 film ‘Moulin Rouge’, which singer played the ‘Green Fairy’, a character who was purely a hallucination after others drank absinthe? 3. In which European city would you find the ‘Sagrada Familia’, the unfinished cathedral designed by Antoni Gaudí? 4. Who was leader of the Liberal Democrat Party between March 2006 and October 2007?

7. Which was the first studio album to be released by the Beatles? 8. Which UK university has the greatest number of enrolled students?

5. What is the capital city of Thailand?

9. If you were born on St. Andrew’s day, what star sign would you be?

6. Who was the second-ever president of the USA?

10. In which country is Absolut Vodka produced? 11. Who provides the voice of Sideshow Bob in ‘The Simpsons’? 12. Which musical note is most commonly used for an orchestra to tune to? 13. Which was the last song to be released by the band ‘Queen’ before Freddie Mercury’s death? 14. What is the name of the only London Underground station which begins with an I? 15. What is the highest mountain in England? 16. Who is attributed with saying “I don’t dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.” 17. In which county is the town of Skegness? 18. Which company released its first personal computer on 12th August 1981? 19. Which website was launched by Jimmy Wales and Larry Sanger in January 2001? 20. Which character did Susan Sarandon play in the 1991 film Thelma and Louise? Turn to page 46 for the answers.

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Things to Do

This little piggy

went to market

The Feria del Jamón de Campillos is now in its seventh year. This popular annual event is a fantastic showcase for agricultural businesses to demonstrate their products to the thousands of visitors the feria attracts. The event is going from strength to strength and this year, there are already in excess of 50 companies signed up to promote their wares. There are lots of ham and other pork products to choose from as well as many local bars who will also line the pedestrian centre of the town to refresh you during the day. Most of the budding entrepreneurs and crafters taking part are from Andalucia and its surrounding regions and by combining the talents of the farmers and artesans, this is a rare opportunity to acquire high-quality products, made entirely by hand.

Last year, more than 8,000 people attended the event on what proved to be Campillos’ busiest feria to date and this year is shaping up to beat that number already. Visitors will find complementary offerings to the market itself, with side events organised around the fair — including activities for children. This is a great family day out. Don’t miss out on this gastronomic treat which starts mid-morning on Sunday November 9.

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Health & Beauty

Can you hear the news about Hopi ear candles by Shannon McCarthy

With many of us trying to move away from using chemicals and harmful additives on and in our bodies, the trend towards a world of more natural and pure treatments — in both health and beauty products and treatments — is growing stronger all the time. One such treatment is the pleasant use of safe and non-invasive Hopi. Hopi ear candles are believed to have been used by their namesake — the ancient Native Indian Hopi tribe from Arizona — for hundreds of years for cleansing, purifying and healing on a spiritual level. The practice today is known for its more physical benefits in treating ear and sinus problems. As opposed to regular candles, an ear candle is a hollow cylinder coated in wax. The candle is made from natural ingredients — usually beeswax and natural herbs. Sometimes pure essential oils are added to achieve specific therapeutic results. Hopi therapy is ideal for all ages and is especially beneficial for children and elderly people. Children must be old enough to remain still during the procedure on each ear, though. If you suffer from the discomfort associated with ear wax build-up, sinus congestion, pressure in your ears and associated headaches then this is certainly one to try. The benefits of using this natural method are proven for a wide range of conditions and complaints associated with the ear, nose and throat.

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Now being widely used and endorsed by the medical communities in both Europe and America as an alternative to conventional treatments such as antibiotics, ear syringing and grommets, Hopi ear candle treatment is a deeply relaxing, calming and soothing experience. The process involves a specially designed hollow candle being inserted just inside the ear canal — there is no pain involved at all as they are not pushed into your ear. Once lit, a natural vacuum is created which helps to balance the pressure in the ear and it is this vacuum which then helps to loosen out any debris or ear wax that was built up inside the ear. This method is often referred to as the ‘chimney’ effect. The rising air gives the eardrum a gentle massage and also helps to regulate ear pressure — a completely natural and painless experience. This method soothes and calms whilst protecting any irritated areas within the ear and the canal. Whilst lit, the therapist will hold the candle firmly in place to prevent any of the ash from falling in or around your ear. You will experience a fire crackling sound as the candle burns and possibly some popping of the ear. You will also feel a gentle massaging sensation to the eardrum and some heat as the candle burns lower. When the candle has burned, it is carefully removed from the ear and extinguished. The entire process is then repeated for the other ear.

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Health & Beauty Any impurities or deposits which remain after the ‘chimney’ effect can be found in the condensed or lower section of candle wax after removal from the ear, or may even work their way out of your ear after 24 - 48 hours. Although there is no scientific evidence that Hopi ear candling can completely cure certain conditions, a growing number of people claim that the treatment has been a positive benefit to their problem. Why not try it if you are suffering from any of the following: Tinnitus Sinusitis Hay fever and rhinitis Excessive ear wax General hearing loss Colds Tension headaches Travel sickness Meunieres disease Although anyone can be treated with Hopi there are certain cases where it is not advised. If you suffer from any of the following, Hopi is not recommended: Infection or inflammation of the ear Surgery on the ear within the last 3 months

Perforation of the ear drum Auricular cysts Grommets, drains or ventilation tubes fitted Known allergy to bees wax/stings Epilepsy If you would like to know more about Hopi ear candles please email shannonmccarthy.x@hotmail.com or visit her at Saydo Market in Mollina on Wednesday mornings. Alternatively, Shannon can be found at Andalucían Auctions in Campillos where she offers a range of treatment on auction days, kindly donating any proceeds to Cudeca Cancer Charity. For more details see Shannon’s advert on page 33.

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Just for Fun

Useless things you just don’t

need to know about...

Your body is creating and killing 15 million red blood cells per second!

The king of hearts is the only king without a moustache on a standard playing card A car uses 1.6 ounces of petrol idling for one minute. Half an ounce is used to start the average vehicle

There is one slot machine in Las Vegas for every eight inhabitants

A lightning bolt generates temperatures five times hotter than those found on the surface of the sun

The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows. It was the fashion in Renaissance Florence to shave them off

A violin contains approximately 70 separate pieces of wood

Mail delivery in Canada on a Saturday was eliminated by the Canada Post service on February 1, 1969 In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most journeys of less than 50 minutes

It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill! Almost half the newspapers in the world are published in the United States and Canada The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen Every day an average of 20 banks are robbed with the average amount stolen being the equivalent of €3000 Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult One car out of every 230 made was stolen last year When glass breaks, the cracks move faster than 3,000 miles per hour. To photograph the event, a camera must shoot at a millionth of a second

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It's illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while you're sitting on a curb in St Louis Over 2500 left-handed people a year are killed from using products made for right-handed people There are more than 10 million bricks in the Empire State Building If you counted non-stop 24 hours a day, it would take 31,688 years to reach one trillion The sun is 330,330 times larger than the earth Porcupines float in water — please don’t try!

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Talking Point

Inside the Spanish household... genders Last month we looked inside the Spanish household and the tradition which surrounds the mealtimes of the family. This month we show an insight into the different roles the genders of a Spanish family play in the household. Over the years, Spanish families have tended to consist of ‘nuclear’ family only, with older couples or unmarried adults living on their own rather than with kin. This is changing as the decades pass by. We have to learn about the society before the family to understand the make-up of the family and gender roles… At the margins of Spanish society are individuals and groups whose trades involve travelling, proximity to animals and the lack of a fixed base in a village or town (pueblo) community. Chief in this category are Spain's Roma or gypsies (gitano) — though over the past 50 years, many have now chosen to settle permanently.

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Other groups, who are not necessarily of foreign origin but shun the values Spaniards cherish, follow more of the model that contemporary Spaniards associate with gypsies. The outward signs of social differences are embodied in the degrees to which people can display their material worth through their homes — especially fashionable addresses — and furnishings, dress, jewellery and other possessions, fashionable forms of leisure and the degrees to which their behaviour reflects education, urban sophistication and travel. A Spanish family's ability to take a month’s vacation is famously important as a sign of economic well-being and social status. Comfortable — even luxurious — modes of travel, not necessarily by one's own car, also enhance people's social image. The more traditional gypsy families still mainly live by the nuclear family rules. With many members sharing dwelling space they tend to enjoy less privacy than their other European counterparts. Many urbanbased families, in particular, still live in fairly cramped spaces in which the sharing of bedrooms and the multifunctional uses of common rooms is the norm – gitano or not. With the required status symbols and more spacious living accommodation come the need for greater pay packages, but the sexual division of labour varies by region and also social class. In rural areas with a plough-culture, men do most of the agricultural tasks and women garden and keep house. In areas such as the humid north coast, where one finds a greater emphasis on animal husbandry and horticulture, both sexes garden and tend cattle, sheep and goats. Professional herding-for-hire, however, normally falls to men, and in regions such as our own in Andalucia, this means sheep rather than cattle, and men still do most of the herding.

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Talking Point Women perform this traditionally male task when necessary but are least likely — or be allowed! — to drive a plough or tractor. Men do women's tasks when necessary — and many men like to cook — but are least likely to do mending and, above all, laundry — this is deemed a female task. Married men and women run their domestic economies and raise their children in partnership.

It is traditional throughout Spain, however, that men and women pursue leisure separately — particularly in public places, where they gather with friends and neighbours of the same sex and the same general age. Many of these social groups are formed during childhood years and remain intact for life. The separation of the sexes in leisure establishes the pattern on which the division of labour is enacted among the elite.

Where economic circumstances permit, men and women lead more separate lives than those which occur among the farming communities. The more traditional divisions of male from female tasks are less often breached in such families. In public life, men more often pursue politics, and women maintain the family's religious observance and spend more time in child-rearing and household management than men do. The ultimate status symbol is to have hired household help; the cleaners and other workers are most likely to be women, though, and basic DIY and decorating will be undertaken by them too. These jobs are an old part of the nation's female workforce, which is now expanding in new directions. The traditional ideal of a sexual division of labour is best achieved by the leisured classes, whom country workers (often seen as peasants in some Spanish social circles) emulate when they can. Domestic servants have always played a vital role in communicating élite models to the peasantry and working classes. So, with history telling us that women used to be the traditional homemakers, it does not come as any surprise that with the changes in the developed world, Spanish women are now found throughout the business, professional and political worlds. This equality has slowly started to filter through to the rural and working-class families too. Since the Franco era, it is not uncommon to find married women often working outside the home and so allowing females to experience both the independence and the frustrations of working women throughout the world as they juggle work and family duties.

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Continued on page 32

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Talking Point Spaniards today marry for mutual attraction and shun the idea of arranged marriages. Traditionally, access to property was an important concern for farmers, with lifestyle prospects often counting for more than love. But as divorce was not permitted, it was not unusual to engage in long courtships to aid couples in realising the compatibility — or lack of it — before they took their marriage vows. Choosing to control the size of a family has become the right of modern Spanish women and their partners and with Spain now permitting contraception, more women are finding new kinds of freedom before embarking — if ever they do — in once-expected traditional roles as wives and mothers of large families. With the recent news that the Spanish government has abandoned its plans to tighten the country’s liberal abortion laws, there seem to be relatively few barriers for women to choose their advancement in most kinds of work and lifestyle.

Remarriage for widowed individuals beyond childbearing age was traditionally greeted with community ribaldry, since a sexual relationship was being entered into without the goal of familybuilding. These views and customs are becoming

archaic. Divorce is now permitted; liaisons outside of marriage are increasingly common and often accepted, as this is still deemed more acceptable than divorce in some communities. The economics of marriage for most people are freed from the ties to landed property that were commonplace when Spain was more heavily rural and agrarian. Genders play a role in the law too. However, Spanish women under Castilian law inherit property equally with their brothers and they may also manage and dispose of it freely. This independence of control was traditionally relinquished to the husband upon marriage, but unmarried women or widows could wield the power of their properties independently. Today, spouses are absolutely equal under the law. In some areas of Spain, a woman may be an heir to her family estate, but if she is not and instead marries an heir, she is expected to live under the roof and rule of her husband and his parents. Nonetheless, women do not change their birth surnames at marriage in any part of Spain and can have public identities quite separate from those of their husbands. With the country’s current economic situation, young Spanish families are finding that they have little choice but to return to the lifestyle of their forefathers and live in a nuclear-family household of parents and their unmarried children, however this is not widely held as ideal. There is an old Spanish saying: "casado casa quiere" or "a married person wants a house" — unless the married person can work and pay a mortgage, this generally goes on hold! Despite the wealth, or lack or it, the family unit still plays a huge part in Spain’s culture as do the everchanging gender roles of the family, the community and the workplace. Next month… The changing role of a Spanish woman

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Things to Do

Awaken the taste of childhood We’re in a bit of a autumn mood over here at The Andalucían so that can only mean one thing… the leaves on the trees are browning, which reminds of one thing more than anything else: apple picking. There’s nothing like spending an afternoon filling up a bag with beautiful apples — especially in this warm autumnal weather. And what better way to end the day than with a nice toffee apple. Here’s our rather brief history on the love treat… The year is 1908. The place? New Jersey. Apparently William W Kolb, a confectioner, had been experimenting with an interesting cinnamon hard candy for the upcoming holiday season. In a moment which we can only describe as pure genius, Kolb dipped some apples into the mixture and put them on display in his shop window. We’re sure you can guess what happened next.

Candy Apples, as they are known in the USA, became the next sugary craze. Kolb increased production to accommodate thousands of customers. The rest? Well we suppose that’s what you call history. But Candy Apples are hardly limited to American sweet teeth. This forbidden fruit is popular worldwide and associated with a number of different festivities and seasons. Germany and many South American countries, for example, eat the deliciously-drizzled apples during Christmas time, while in the UK we huddle together round the bonfire on Guy Fawkes night, munching on the eponymous sticky lollipop looking lovely whilst watching the fireworks. In Japan they eat candy apples — as well as many other candy covered fruits — at a number of unique, traditional Japanese festivals. Sounds like they know what they’re doing. Sign us up! So, who didn’t love toffee apples as a kid? Let’s be honest, most kids never even reached the apple part. Didn’t we all just end up getting our faces smeared in wonderful sticky toffee? Bring make those childhood memories with our easy -to-make toffee apple recipe. Ingredients 225 g Demerara sugar 110 ml water ½ tsp vinegar 2 tbsp golden syrup 25 g butter 6 apples 6 wooden skewers, for holding the apples — lolly sticks will do Continued on page 36

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Things to Do Method 1. Dissolve the sugar in the water over a moderate heat. When it has dissolved, stir in the vinegar, syrup and butter. Bring to a boil and cook without stirring until it reaches hard-crack stage (138C) or hardens into a ball when dropped in a jug of cold water. This should take around 10 minutes boiling time. 2. While the syrup is cooking, pierce each apple with a wooden stick. Once the toffee is ready, dip each apple into the hot toffee, turning it around in the syrup so that each one is fully coated. 3. Leave to harden on a lightly-oiled tray before serving. If you're planning to keep them for a day or two, wrap the apples in cellophane. Sit the bowl of chocolate over the pan of gently boiling water and immediately remove the pan from the heat. Leave until the chocolate has melted, stirring occasionally. 3. Holding each apple by its stick, and over a baking sheet lined with baking parchment to catch any drips, drizzle the melted white chocolate all around

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each the apple using a teaspoon. Sit the apples on the baking parchment, scatter with the stars if using and set aside for the chocolate to set. White chocolate can seize up easily, so chopping it finely and letting it melt over the hot water off the heat allows it to to melt gradually without it overheating.

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Just for Fun

Animal quick-fire quiz answers from page 13 Groups 1 Battery 2 Congregation 3 Herd 4 Army 5 Parliament or stare 6 Wreck 7 Quiver 8 Leap 9 Mob or gang 10 Mischief Female 1 Sow 2 Goose 3 Doe 4 Pen 5 Vixen

General knowledge 1 Persian 2 Black and white markings/patches 3 Bamboo 4 False - Captive mice live for up to two and a half years while wild mice only live for an average of around four months. 5 Antarctica

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Around Andaluc铆a

Estepa - a delight for the senses Estepa is located in the south-west of the province of Seville. It is an architecturally magnificent town of intoxicating aromas and natural beauty, awaiting discovery. The palaces, convents, churches, noble houses, walls and castles provide a monumental richness to this town, known around the world for its traditional Christmas sweets. Visitors will not fail to notice the delightful aroma of cinnamon that greets them upon their arrival, if they are fortunate enough to visit during the latter part of the year.

Estepa is a jewel within the province of Seville, and cradles astounding examples of stunning religious architecture within the town, many of which will be passed during the ascent to the 'Balc贸n de Andalucia'.

Visible by day and floodlit by night is the 'Cerro de San Cristobal', the fortified town which sits in splendour at Estepa's highest point. Visitors can climb the steep, meandering, narrow streets to appreciate the panoramic splendour which unfolds at the highest point, and reward themselves with delightful cakes which can be purchased directly from the Sisters of the 'Convento de Santa Clara', a beautiful building founded in 1599

One example of the fine religious buildings to be found within this charming town is 'Iglesia de Ntrs Sra del Carmen,' an illustration of Andalucian Baroque and one of the most important churches in Estepa. If you are looking for a tranquil location in which to spend time, look no further than de Roya. Nestling within the majestic mountains on the outskirts of the town, de Roya is an area of astounding natural beauty in which to walk and lose oneself in the stunning scenery. The hotel El Manantial de Roya is a place to enjoy refreshments and food, though the area is popular for BBQ gatherings, both within the woodland and at provided BBQ sites. El Manantial de Roya was built at the source of the 1000-year-old spring 'Manantial de Roya,' still visible within the bar area of the hotel. Estepa is both vibrant and tranquil, as well as steeped in history and beauty. Spend time here and you will not fail to be impressed; maybe the waters of Manantial de Roya hold a 1000-year-old magic yet to be discovered.

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Around Andalucía

Loja - a flower among thorns Loja was once poetically described as a city with a smiling face, the aspect of a charmer and a place of beautiful women able to cure ills of the heart. It is situated on the western side of the province of Granada and sits across the Genil river. Known historically by the Moors as Medina Lauxa until 1486, when it was taken by the Christians, Loja was named ‘flower among thorns’. The area features mid-mountain terrain which rises to dominate the lowlands occupied by meadow and countryside. The Sierra de Loja offers routes and hiking trails through rural and surprising locations, such as Charco del Negro.

between the 16th and 18th centuries and declared a culturally significant property. Blessed with abundant natural springs, Loja is proud of its fountains. The strategically located Fuente de los 25 Caños, also known as Fuente de la Mora or the fountain of the 25 spouts, offers a fitting location for refreshment and to admire a panoramic view of the province. Visit Loja and you will understand why this was once considered the gate and key to the kingdom of Granada, but whether Loja indeed has women capable of curing ills of the heart is up to you to decide.

The magnificent waterfalls of Los Infiernos are located just outside Loja on the Genil river. This stretch of river is noteworthy for its diverse plant, bird and animal species, and also its geological features where the river has dramatically eroded the rock to create unique scenery. There are prehistoric archaeological sites at La Esperanza and Manzanil, and Sierra Martilla is home to a site containing important excavated megalithic remains – a series of double-chambered dolmens with corridors which are unique in Spain. Loja is adorned with buildings of both Islamic and Christian heritage, and is considered by many to have an important monumental legacy. The Islamic influence can be seen whilst wandering through the streets of the Alcazaba, whilst the grandiose temples, civil buildings, palaces and gardens are symbolic of later Christian embellishment. The church of Mayor de la Encarnación stands out, having been built

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Charity News

Get clicking

for charity

‘Knitting is very conducive to thought. It is nice to knit a while, put down the needles, write a while, then take up the sock again.’ ~ Dorothy Day Every day we find ourselves bombarded with charity requests via a variety of media forms. Rarely can we switch on our televisions without being urged to make yet another contribution to charity – all very deserving, good causes. We are faced with a montage of harrowing pictures in between a comedy sketch or two, persuasive writing aimed at ‘encouraging’ donations or sponsorship and often we, are sadly, personally affected by the cause for which the charities are seeking help, making the requests all the more difficult to ignore.

KasCare and knit-a-square The knit-a-square project was started as a family project in 2008 and is now a registered non-profit -making charity. While other charities do wonderful work to provide shelter and food, KasCare is working to provide warmth.

Ultimately, donation to any charity is a considerably personal choice. However, in recent times of financial difficulty there has been much talk of donation fatigue. People worldwide have found themselves in a position where it has been more necessary for charity literally to begin at home, and they have been unable to donate or continue to sponsor charities with which they have previously been connected.

This, reader, is where you can help. Dust off those knitting needles; dig out the odd ball of wool, unpick a not-so-favourite jumper – we all have one — prepare to cast on and off and get clicking. Don’t worry if you’ve never made a knitted garment before, all the instructions are on the website. Not only is knitting a good therapeutic activity to undertake, it is a fantastic pastime to keep the mind in gear!

Almost five years ago, JK Rowling donated £10 million to set up a research clinic in a bid to ‘unravel the mysteries’ of multiple sclerosis, a subject very close to her heart. Madonna has described her charity work as having ‘pretty much taken over her life’. As generous as these celebrity donors are, unfortunately gifts of such financial magnitude are inconceivable for most people, but thankfully we can change the lives of some with very little effort or cost. Did you know you can change the life of child for as little as the cost of a ball of wool?

There is proof substantiating the claim that knitting and crochet help lower stress levels, too, so why not become a charitable clicker. After all it’s good for your health and beneficial to others too.

The plight of the children made vulnerable or orphaned by the twin perils of HIV/AIDS and poverty in South Africa today makes difficult reading. 1.4 million children are currently parentless, helpless, hungry and cold, and this distressing figure in increasing by approximately 500 per day. These children are innocent victims of circumstances over which they have no control and they need your help.

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During their first year, just over 54,000 squares and more than 4,000 knitted and crochet garments were provided by those taking part in the knit-a-square project.

It counts whether you produce just one or hundreds of squares – every single square made helps towards keeping an unfortunate, desperate child warm. The informative www.knit-a-square.com website provides patterns for all levels and offers a variety of garments including a square vest, a square pullover, toys and a hat in addition to the uniquely-designed KAS GO-OVER™. Details of where to send your items can also be found on the site. There is also an opportunity to join the aptly named ‘squarecircle’ group which forms an important and informative part of the KasCare community.

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Spotlight

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Things to Do

The start of the

Christmas countdown

by Heather Jones

Oh yes, really — it is that time! I know it’s only October and we haven’t even had the Trick and Treaters yet but it IS time to start some Christmas prep if you are planning ahead. I wanted to start last month but it was deemed much too early, so we are running a few weeks late. I appreciate we are fortunate in having such fantastic weather for this time of year and it is hard to get your head round Christmas with the sun terrace and a G&T calling more than an egg nog, but now is the time to prep your dried fruit and set it soaking for your cake. In six weeks’ time it will be perfect. This year I’ve come up with three versions for you to choose from: a traditional boozy mix — one which uses different fruits for a slightly tangier taste — fruity booze or my favourite, ultimate boozy fruit. This is exactly the same taste as the first version but packed with a third more fruit — I know, you were thinking more booze!

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Boozy Fruit 200g raisins 200g sultanas 175g dried figs, chopped 100g dates, chopped 55g mixed peel Fruit Booze 270g dried cranberries 300g sultanas 130g glace cherries, halved 100g apricots 100g dried cherries 30g mixed peel

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Continued on page 44


Around AndalucĂ­a


Things to Do Ultimate boozy fruit 300g raisins 290g sultanas 100g dried figs 100g dates 100g currants 60g mixed peel

Stir to combine and then pour the whole lot over the fruit. Give it a good mix up and then transfer to an airtight container (a 1.5litre one is just right) For a week you will need to stir it every day, then for a further five weeks give it a mix up just once a week. Believe me, it’s worth it just for the smell of Christmas you get every time you open the lid!

Plus: 1 cinnamon stick Zest and juice from 1 orange 55g caster sugar 170ml brandy

Six weeks’ soaking and you will have the most fab fruit to put in your Christmas cake.

Whichever you go for, the method is exactly the same. Each set will make 1 x 8″ round cake or 1 x 7″ square. Here’s how: Place the fruit into a large bowl, chop any figs/dates/ apricots into smaller pieces before adding them to the bowl. Add the grated zest of your orange plus a cinnamon stick. Measure the orange juice — you need 55ml. If you have more, drain it off to the correct amount; if it’s short, then top it up with water. Place the juice and the caster sugar into a small pan and heat gently, stirring until the sugar dissolves — don’t let it boil. Once the sugar has dissolved, take it off the heat.

Tips: • Store ideally in a kitchen cupboard or on the worktop as long as it’s not in direct sunlight. It doesn’t need to be in the fridge — just somewhere at room temperature. • If you’re not keen on brandy, try it with your preferred alternative such as rum • If you’re running late – a week’s fruit soaking is better than none and you will still come out with a lovely cake; the longer the soak, the better the flavour. • If you prefer to make a cake that’s alcohol-free, make a syrup by heating 200g caster sugar with 200ml water. Once dissolved pour over the fruit and then soak and stir as above. Next month I’ll be sharing the cake recipe with you — now get mixing!

Measure the brandy into a jug and pour in the juice/ sugar mixture.

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Classified Adverts Services Offered Wanted — sensibly priced country properties, villas and village houses for sale. Contact us in confidence, no obligation. Email info@aa-propertyforsalespain. com Tel no: 649520396. We are asking for people out there who took out a mortgage in 2004 with Cajasur in Antequera to get in contact with us. We believe we have a case relating to the amount you could be paying on your mortgage. This may be too much because of a fixed rate policy, meaning that the percentage rate would not go lower than 4.59 per cent. We would be interested in forming a group to consolidate on this issue. Your personal details will be treated as strictly confidential, please email your contact details only to info@theandalucian.com we will forward them on to private advertiser who wishes to remain anonymous. Responsible Spanish married couple with children available immediately for live-in work — cleaning and maintenance jobs including general labouring, painting, gardening, pruning olive and fruit trees etc. Holders of a Phytosanitary certificate and current driving licences with own car. Will consider all areas. Please contact 649 169937 or 627 433683 for details (Spanish/French speaking). The British Consulate Malaga is hosting an Information Day for British Nationals in Iznájar on Thursday 6 November in the Hotel Iznájar. In collaboration with Iznájar Town Hall the event will be presented by Vice Consul Rosslyn Crotty MBE and feature guest speakers from the National Police, Guardia Civil, a local funeral director and an English lawyer. The aim of the day is to inform British Nationals what help is available to them when things go wrong. Including useful advice on how to avoid being a victim of crime and if you were, what to do, how to prepare for and deal with the inevitability of death, legal issues that affect us all, as well as the role of the Consulate. The event is free and open to all British Nationals but we would be grateful if you were able to register your interest by email on BCMalagaEvents@fco.gov.uk in order to guarantee a place.

Deposito Legal MA-1110-2004 Copyright © 2004 - 2014. All rights reserved All advertisements are published in good faith and are for information purposes. We do not under any circumstances accept responsibility for the accuracy of such advertisements, nor is any kind of warranty or endorsement expressed or implied by such publication. The editorials are not a substitute for legal advice, and not intended or offered as such. The Andalucían does not therefore accept any duty of care to anyone who makes use of, or seeks to rely on, material in this publication. No part of this or any previous Local Connections or The Andalucían publications may be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the owner.

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When: Thursday 6 November 2014 at 10:30h until 13:30h. Where: Hotel Caserío de Iznájar, Urb. Valdearenas, c/El Remolinos s/n. To register your interest: BCMalagaEvents@fco.gov.uk For further info on the British Consulate Malaga visit…. gov.uk We hope to see you on the day

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Twenty teasers answers from page 36 1. 28 (2 + 3 + 5 + 7 + 11) 2. Kylie Minogue 3. Barcelona 4. Sir Menzies Campbell 5. Bangkok 6. John Adams 7. Please Please Me 8. Open University 9. Sagittarius 10. Sweden 11. Kelsey Grammer 12. A 13. The Show Must Go On 14. Ickenham

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15. Scafell Pike 16. Queen Victoria 17. Lincolnshire 18. IBM 19. Wikipedia 20. Louise

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