The Andalucian : January 2015

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Editor’s Slice Hello The New Year is finally upon us. With it comes change for most of us, well, the chance to change, make resolutions and have hope for the future. All of this is true for The Andalucían too. We are changing, some will be subtle behind the scenes changes and some will be to the magazine itself. We are not changing the overall appearance but over the next year many areas will be looked at, updated and hopefully, as with all changes — for the better. This applies to readers and advertisers alike. From new writers and fresh ideas for readers to new prices and opportunities for advertisers. As we amble through January towards the spring we hope you will enjoy the changes we are making and join us every month throughout the New Year ahead.

Mike

www.facebook.com/theandalucian The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n, Campillos 29320, Malaga Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott 2

Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alice Marriott Ella Durham Heather Jones John Sharrock Taylor Sarah Jackson Shannon McCarthy Tricia Johnson

Next deadline: 12 February We won’t be beaten on advertising prices

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Tumobilhome Spain S.L. is an English-owned and run company and is now Spain’s largest dealer of pre-owned residential spec mobile homes as well as being manufacturers of new mobile homes. We buy, sell, transport and store residential specification mobile homes throughout Spain and Portugal. We have a main sales base in Madrid and we work all over the Iberian peninsula, the Balearics and the Canary Islands. We specialise in helping vendors who have been unable to sell due to difficult market conditions, and circumstances now dictate they must bring the sale of their unit to a successful conclusion. We offer free legal advice to inform vendors of their rights here in Spain with our own in-house lawyer. Clients who are having difficulties with site owners and unreasonable rental contracts can then make a more informed choice. Regrettably, some of the site owners we have dealt with in the past have taken advantage of the vendors’ inability to speak the language (we are Spanish speakers) and a lack of understanding of the law. We are here to redress that balance and help.

We can arrange all aspects of mobile home purchase and sales such as the removal, disconnection, plot preparation and/or clearance and furniture removal both locally and internationally. Many of our vendors sell their mobile home and move to the local village, paying the same or less in rent than their ground fees were. They then put the proceeds of the sale into the bank. We have a fully legal and insured team of contractors. When we buy a mobile home we pay for it before it is removed. We can pay in cash or by bank transfer to a bank account in Spain or overseas. We can negotiate on your behalf with the campsite if you are overseas or feel intimidated by the site owner. So, don’t just hand in the keys at reception and walk away – call us! Call Suzi on 616250727 or our UK number 01482 429718 for a free and no-obligation discussion about your mobile home, or e mail Suzicaley@gmail.com


Things to Do

Get yourself some lady lumps this year I’m a smart man. Last year, I surrounded myself with a very beautiful group of girls who tirelessly landscape my land, provide rich compost for my garden, dispose of my kitchen scraps, handle insect control around the house, keep me company – and even make me a fresh breakfast each morning. These highly productive females in my life are not actually human. They are chickens, though I affectionately refer to them – despite my wife’s raised eyebrows – as my lovely lady lumps! I consider my small flock of ‘backyard’ chickens to be one of the best investments I’ve ever made – even though they cost very little time, energy or money. If you are interested in having a harem of hens in your life like mine, here is some insight about how to get started. Some of you might be wondering – why chickens? Let’s get this question out of the way first. Several years ago, raising chickens was something that only people in the country did. Chickens were associated with farms and wide open spaces. Not anymore! I would actually consider backyard chickens to be a modern cultural phenomenon rather than their farmyard cousins; sad but true – most chickens are raised in their thousands in commerciallybuilt barns, especially here in Spain. It is not often you see a free-range chicken farm here! However, thousands of families are adding a small flock (two to five) to their backyard, right next to the dog kennel! When I bought my first house it only had a 20’x20’ garden. The first thing I did was put in a small chicken coop with three hens, which is the perfect number for starting out. The biggest misconception with raising chickens is that you need to live in the country. This is simply not true. Yes, local regulations or neighbourhood ordinances may impact your decision, but many communities

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are very chicken-friendly or can easily be convinced! I was once sitting in my car in the local Spanish village and looked up to see a chicken on a flat’s balcony! In my experience, there are many benefits to raising a small flock: • Fresh eggs: Fresh eggs are the most obvious reason, or as my children like to call them, “Hen Berries.” Hens will start laying eggs at about six months old. They will consistently lay an egg every one or two days for several years (generally speaking they go off laying when weather changes occur). These eggs – especially when the chickens are given kitchen scraps and/or allowed to free range – are more flavourful than anything you’ll ever find in the store. • Composting: Chickens are amazing compost factories. They will turn almost any kitchen scrap into a nutrient-rich garden additive – poop. They love vegetable scraps, bread, grains and even meat scraps. We’ll get more into food later. • Landscaping and insect control: If you allow your chickens to free range (roam out of the coop), they will meticulously landscape around your trees and shrubs. They will also hunt down insects like trained ninja assassins. I often call them my little T-Rexes. I’ve seen them eat every kind of insect you can imagine, as well as snakes, mice, minnows from the shallow edge of our pond and even a fallen

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Things to Do baby bird. They are vicious killers and their distant connected ancestry to majestic birds of prey can be seen when you look into their eye. However, they love fresh grass and plant shoots as well, and will happily weed your garden (or planters) once it is established.

• Self-reliance: As you know, chickens produce eggs, but they also produce chicken. There is something magical about knowing exactly where your food comes from. I know what my chickens eat and therefore know what I’m eating – it’s a simple formula that I quite like.

• Pets: Yes, that’s right, chickens make great pets. When you raise and handle chickens from small chicks they will gladly eat from your hand, sit in your lap and follow you around the yard. They will also happily poop in your lap as well. They’ll come to you when you call and wait for you at the door. They have great personalities. They are incredibly curious and forage for food tirelessly. They rise early and like to go to bed just before dusk. They are absolutely the most low-maintenance pet (except for maybe a goldfish) that you can own. As long as they have fresh food, water and a clean coop, they will be happy as can be. They aren’t needy like many animals and are just as happy when you’re not home. I leave my hens for days at a time with no problems.

• Beauty: It’s easy to take a simple backyard chicken for granted, but many of them have plumage that will rival even the most radiant tropical bird. I’ve owned chickens that were absolutely stunning to look at. The number of chicken breeds to choose from is astounding; from metallic blues and greens to lace-tipped gold feathers, many are truly a natural marvel to behold. I’m often amazed that a bird this beautiful is just walking around my land. Some people raise chickens just for this reason. In fact, there are avid fishermen who raise certain breeds of chickens just to use the feathers for tying high-priced fishing flies. Join me next month to read about suitable shelter and care for your new chickens.

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Talking Point


Spotlight

Can you carry a tune in a bouquet?

by John Sharrock Taylor

Of course, I mean 'bucket' but I couldn't resist. The wonderful Patricia Routledge really could sing when she wasn't fooling around as Hyacinth in Keeping up Appearances. In fact she had been a pupil of the great operatic Diva, Dame Eva Turner, though, as Mike Yarwood's Michael Caine repeatedly assured us, not many people know that. Let's break with tradition and start with the altos: Paddy tells me she used to 'do' for the Bishop of Birmingham (but we won't go into that in a family magazine, especially as it recalls a very rude limerick somebody once told me). She is one of the founder members of our vocal ensemble La Vid y La Vida (The Vine and the Life). I hesitate to call us a choir

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because over our six years of existence, we have only averaged about a dozen members. Even so, we sing a wide repertoire. Everything from Abba, the Beatles and Pink Floyd to Rutter, Tchaikovsky, Victoria and a Medieval requiem for King Richard III. Pam used to be a dentist, so it's hardly surprising that she has the most radiant smile in the line-up. Rein is the baby of the altos (our average age plunged steeply when she joined us). She had never sung before but the speed at which she learned the notes astonished even this veteran choir-basher.

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Spotlight Val, the Love of my Life, leads the sopranos and her meticulous record- keeping does something to compensate for the rapidlydiminishing number of grey cells I still have at my faltering command. When I first heard her pure, light, steady voice in a Lancashire carol service back in nineteen-hundred-and-frozendeath, I was captivated and I still am. Matty storms the top Gs with all the passion of the graphic artist. Veronica, our official Spanish translator and currently our only second soprano, would be delighted to share that lonely role with a new friend. Jean, a former nurse who doughtily travels from Competa to sing with us, is ready with CPR when the breath runs out. What can I say about the men (without provoking writs for slander)? Shout 'Jim!' in one of our rehearsals and two voices will immediately answer. In fact there are three Jims in the choir but Professor Jim Alty won't ever reply because he'll certainly be mulling

over some obscure problem in astrophysics rather than counting the crotchets or looking in the direction of the conductor. In addition to being named after a popular blend of scotch, Jim Haig sings bass and plays the keyboard – sometimes simultaneously, which deeply impresses those of us who can't manage to scratch our heads and our navels at the same time. In spite of occasionally frittering away his time on golf, Jim Busby takes his singing seriously and has even given up smoking in order to improve his voice. Several times, in fact. A famous Italian operatic maestro once remarked that 'a tenor is not a man but a disease'. Nobody at the time was quite sure what he was getting at but there were some scurrilous persons who suggested that he meant tenors were difficult, touchy, cantankerous, egotistical beings who always insisted on being the centre of attention. Continued on page 10

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Spotlight Brian Melbourne and I are not at all like that. At least, I'm not. I don't audition prospective members unless they actually ask for a private try-out. I simply tell them 'If you can carry a tune in a bucket, you're in.' Some of us read music, some don't, so I teach them the notes and supply a computer programme for 'homework' purposes. This is a dedicated and enthusiastic group, and though I say it as shouldn't, the quality of the music we produce is often remarkably good. I've been teaching people to sing ever since I cajoled an unlikely group of rugby-playing friends into starting a Sixth Form glee club back in the Dark Ages. To put it another way, I was Gareth Malone before Gareth Malone was invented – the main difference being that he's much younger, rather better looking in a nerdy kind of way, and actually gets paid. We (and I mean all of us; there really aren't any prima donnas in the group) appreciate that some really experienced singers may not want to sit through our early note-learning sessions, so we have maintained an 'open house' policy for competent musicians who are only able to join us for the final rehearsal and performance. Over the past few years we have been joined by visiting singers and instrumentalists from half a dozen places in Spain, plus Essex, Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire, Scotland, Somerset, Surrey, Sussex, Yorkshire, Germany, the Falkland Islands, Nepal and Lima in Peru. Our Festival of Carols last month was greatly enhanced by the splendid violin playing of Kate Perkes from Mollina. Deposito Legal MA-1110-2004

If all this sounds a bit serious, I should perhaps add that La Vid y La Vida is also fun, and in addition to the note-bashing we also share birthday bashes and barbecues. We rehearse – with the aid of a couple of bottles of good wine – on Thursdays from 6.15 to 8.00 pm at my house at La Parrilla, between Iznajar and Villanueva de Algaidas, where my dogs Boris and Biggles occasionally join in if they think the sopranos need additional support. Whether you are a closet Caballe or Carreras, or just like a good sing, this is a good time to join us. (What else is there to do in February?) We are about to begin rehearsing for our Spring concert and the programme includes everything from John Denver through Elgar, Flanders & Swann, the Wizard of Oz, barbershop, South American folksongs to 1950s doo-wop and a wonderful contemporary American composer called Morten Lauridsen. If, like me, you are a Youtube addict, look up his Sure on this Shining Night. I bought the sheet music online minutes after listening to it for the first time. Give me a ring; drop me an email; have a look at my website for further details of La Vid y La Vida. Come along any Thursday and give us a try. I may even recite that naughty limerick for you. John Sharrock Taylor Tel: 952 743117 heddlenash@gmail.com website: http://johnsharrocktaylor.webs.com/

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All advertisements are published in good faith and are for information purposes. We do not under any circumstances accept responsibility for the accuracy of such advertisements, nor is any kind of warranty or endorsement expressed or implied by such publication. The editorials are not a substitute for legal advice, and not intended or offered as such. The Andalucían does not therefore accept any duty of care to anyone who makes use of, or seeks to rely on, material in this publication. No part of this or any previous Local Connections or The Andalucían publications may be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the owner.

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Spotlight


Health & Beauty

Get your head

round resolutions

by Sarah Jackson

Celebrating the New Year with the tradition of creating resolutions can be dated back over 4000 years, but, actually sticking to them is an issue for many of us right now. How many of your sincerely-made New Year’s resolutions are you still keeping up? Any of them? Maybe this year, you decided that as you know yourself so well, you wouldn’t bother, because you knew by about now, you would only be beating yourself up about breaking them again. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Whilst the statistics vary, the University of Scranton in their Journal of Clinical Psychology reported that in 2014, 92 per cent of all resolutions made were broken or incomplete. This is a huge level of failure, so why does it keep happening? The reason is that your brain just cannot handle New Year’s resolutions! The moment you raise your glass to reducing alcohol, giving up chocolate, losing half your body weight or developing a six pack you’re on the slippery slope to failure. What’s more, this is exactly how your brain is programmed to respond to this type of decision. The almost inevitable failure is not your fault; it is just the result of brain chemistry. When we make our resolutions we are in effect attempting to break an old habit or behaviour pattern and replace it with a new one that we expect will make us happier. We usually decide that we want to make this change because the way we have been behaving worries us in some way. Perhaps we are concerned that our regular consumption of alcohol, food or nicotine will, at some point in the future, be detrimental to our health. It may be that we are aware that our bodies are less supple and toned than they

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used to be, and that unless we start to exercise them a little more now, we won’t be able to play football with our grandkids in the future. This type of chronic worry occurs at a subconscious level. It is a powerful fear that we are not consciously aware of. The problem is that whether a fear is consciously recognised or not, the brain reacts to it in exactly the same way. When we worry or perceive that we are in danger in some way, our body immediately and automatically flips into fight or flight mode by secreting chemicals which ready us for battle. Firstly the hypothalamus is activated and releases corticotrophin-releasing factor into the nervous system. This stimulates the pituitary gland to secrete prolactin and adrenocorticotropic hormone, which in turn stimulates the adrenal glands and they release epinephrine and norepinephrine, raising the blood pressure and pulse. The secretion of these hormones leads to a myriad of metabolic changes throughout your body. The blood vessels supplying the gastrointestinal tract, hands and feet constrict, while the blood vessels supplying the heart, large muscle groups and brain dilate, stimulating the amygdala – the anxiety centre of the brain – and inhibiting the pre-frontal cortex, the thinking centre of your brain. Stomach acid increases and digestive enzymes decrease, and cortisol suppresses your immune system to reduce the inflammation that would accompany any wounds you might sustain during the attack.

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Health & Beauty When we really are in danger and facing physical threat, these changes are vital to help us to fight off the attacker or flee the threat. However, if the threat exists only in your imagination or your subconscious mind, your body does not register the difference. Over time, as this stress response is repetitively triggered, our health suffers and our body is unable to relax; our ability to think clearly and make rational decisions is impaired and we experience difficulties when we attempt to manifest change. Even if we manage to make a resolution that is not ‘future-worry’ based, the fear of failing to achieve it is enough to trigger this primitive biological response. So, at the very moment that we set our New Year’s resolutions, we are activating a whole cocktail of chemicals hellbent on sabotaging our efforts…. no wonder we break them! So, let’s imagine that we have managed to overcome our ancient survival programming and actually set a goal for 2015. We are aware of the way our body is reacting and we remain steadfast in our resolution. Consciously, we know exactly what we want to achieve and how we are going to do it, however behind the scenes there may well be a completely different picture emerging, in the form of your less- than-helpful subconscious thoughts.

listen to our head chatter and choose between the truth and the fiction, we are in a much stronger position. When we actually remain still enough to hear what we are saying to ourselves we have the opportunity to decide what we want to accept as true and what we want to reject as untrue, or no longer relevant. Listening to our self-chatter can alert us to the possibility that a subconscious programme may be in the driving seat, not our conscious mind, where our resolutions were made. As neuroscientist Mark Waldman concludes, after over 20 years of studying the brain in a quest to discover the secrets to happiness and success: ‘Life is simple, and satisfaction is easy to attain, but the human mind is blind to this fundamental truth.’ So, if you really want to make a change in the way you live your life this year, why not practice just that. Stop regularly throughout your day and listen to what you are telling yourself. Notice and become mindful of this internal voice and make the decision to get back in the driving seat. For more information and contact details see advert on page 14.

We all have them, thousands of them; the subconscious mind remembers everything that you have ever heard, seen, smelt, tasted or touched. It is a minefield in there! Even more unhelpfully, many of the thoughts we think are untrue, unproven fears created to prevent us from putting ourselves at risk. How are we to make positive changes in our lives if most of what is driving us is being played out behind the scenes, leaving us totally unaware of the information that is influencing our behaviour? The key lies in becoming more aware of our automaticity, the term used to describe the reality we live in when we forget to take notice of our thoughts. When we mindfully decide to

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Spotlight

Superb European and global

marketing is the key to selling your property Yes, it’s true … the average estate agent in Spain will pay to advertise your property for sale on one property website/portal and that is likely to describe your home in a rather standard and often bland way, with very few photos and little to catch the buyer’s attention. We all know, however, that this is nowhere near dynamic enough to attract a buyer when there are so many properties currently on the market. Are you aware that it does not have to be this way? There is a company out there which is a ‘breath of fresh air’ and will give your property the attention it deserves. It will advertise and

market your home to a world audience in a professional and dynamic way, in a style unique to your property and in a manner suited to your exact property type. If you have not heard about it yet, then let us introduce it to you now… Creative Property Marketing, based North of Malaga city, is a forward-thinking company, run by a Sarah and David Rick. Between them, this very experienced British couple have been selling and marketing property internationally for more than 30 years. They help sellers of property to sell privately, avoiding huge fees for the seller, and they support sellers throughout the whole selling process. They are not expensive either – they charge just €296.45 for their service, which includes more than you probably expect: • 12 months advertising on 20 leading property sales websites around the globe to include world leaders such as Prime Location, Zoopla, The Move Channel, Kyero etc. • They produce high quality property sales details for your home, professionally written and eyecatching to buyers – fully collaborating with sellers to make sure the details are perfect! • A Google pin location map showing exactly where your property is located – not available via an estate agent – and buyers love it. It’s a good way to stop ‘waste of time’ viewings!

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Spotlight • As many photos of the property as are needed – even if that is 30 or 40! • Photos of where the property is located – towns, villages, scenery, beaches etc. • Information about the town, village and area in which your property is located. • Average monthly running costs of the property for sale – the buyers really like this! • If you require it, a free valuation report to include examples of comparable properties against which you are competing. • Should you want help with your paperwork, they will go through it with you and let you know if any attention is needed and what to do next. • You get to see how your property looks on all the websites where they are advertised. • They handle all the initial enquiries from buyers and then hand them over to you so you can talk and discuss your property directly with the buyer – buyers love it! • OK, you have to do a little bit of work yourself: the property viewings – but you know the

property better than anyone! If you want any hints and tips, Creative is there to guide you. • When you get an offer, if you want help with negotiations, they will even take them over for you if need be. • Do you want help with how best to appoint a lawyer to represent you in the sales process? They can do that too. • They have a very informative website with loads of information for both sellers and buyers – all you need to know www. creativepropertymarketing.com • They even have emails from happy sellers that they will happily share with you. So, if you have been wondering how to get the attention your property needs in order to get it sold during 2015, you have just found the solution – it will also save you thousands in commission! Give Creative Property Marketing a call and the owners, Sarah and David Rick, will happily explain everything and discuss how they can best help you. See their advert on our back cover for details.

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Short Story

The snow bunny

by Ella Durham

The Sierra Nevada slopes were filled with the usual horde of winter invaders. The five star Lodge Resort was the luxurious hub for them all. It attracted all sorts: young and old, expert and novice, the brave and the scared, the casual and the determined. There was just one who looked, well... a little odd. “Do you really think this is a good idea, Linda? You have never skied in your life.” Derek looked anxiously at his wife as she stumbled her way towards the nursery slopes. “That outfit does nothing for you, you know. Did you really need to make cotton wool ears and tail too?” Linda bristled. “Look, I may look like something left over from Alice in Wonderland but it’s tough competition to get a winter vacation job round here – especially in this resort. It’s a top notch place. I want to stand out from the crowd when it comes to my bistro job application. The recruitment blurb said this ski resort is world famous for its Ski Bunnies, that the tourists love them and the management wants an adaptable and flexible workforce. So regardless of where you work here, Ski Bunnies are its unique selling point. I suppose they are a bit like Disney World’s Mickey Mouse or Goofy. So I want show I am the type they want. If you film me on your phone entertaining those kids over there, I can use it at my interview later today. Now, can we get on, please?” Linda lifted up her chin, smoothed down her white ski suit and fluffed up the cotton wool balls which she’d stuck onto her bobble hat. She took a deep breath, wiped her nose – taking care not to smear her kohl pencil-painted whiskers – and slowly teetered towards a group of ski-clad youngsters. “Okay, honey. If that’s what you want, here we go!” Derek clicked ‘video record’ on his phone. Linda nodded and slid ever closer to the children, her legs going dangerously in opposite directions, her arms waving frantically like windmills for balance. It was not going well. She pushed off again but soon leaned too far

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back and landed with a thump on her rear. Tears welled in her goggled eyes – her pride hurt as well as her bottom. The sparkling snow and breathtaking views did nothing to soften the blow. ‘Now I know why they call these things nursery slopes. You bloody well need nursing after you’ve been on them,” she muttered under her breath. Linda tried again to take a steady line but she overbalanced and suddenly felt a crunch as her fist connected with flesh and bone. Looking round, she saw a woman behind her clutching her nose – the snow was pricked with red droplets. Blood! The woman’s lovely ski suit was now heavily spattered with sticky red stripes. She glared at Linda. “You sthupith idioth,” the woman mumbled as the blood continued to flow. “I thing you’th broken my noth!” “Oh, my Lord! I’m so terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hit you. It was just my fist...” Linda stopped as a man skied up to the woman and put his arm round her shoulder, his face thunderous. “What have you done to my wife?” he barked “I don’t know what caused you to assault her like that but if she said something to provoke you then maybe you shouldn’t come on these slopes dressed like some giant rodent unless you can take a joke. You’ll be hearing from our solicitor.” He pulled the woman away. Linda sighed but was horrified to see Derek filming it all and laughing like a hyena. Infuriated, she pushed off on her skis too quickly and began careering towards the children who were staring at her alarmingly. Moments later, she crashed into the smallest. “Oops! Sorry. Are you okay? Ski Bunnies are here to make your day, not hurt you in any way!”

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Continued on page 24


Health & Beauty


Short Story Linda tried to laugh it off. The child nodded, giggled and shrugged. It was clear he was unhurt but suddenly he began to cry out loudly and hold his elbow when his mother rushed up to them both. Her skis’ snow arc shot all over Linda’s goggles and drenched her cotton wool ball ears. She glared at Linda, looking her up and down as if she’d never seen a large white rabbit on a ski slope before. “Just look where you’re going,” the woman shouted. “You could have killed him. Darling, are you all right? Oh, no, your elbow – that nasty bunny rabbit could have broken it. Come on, let’s get you to the medical centre. Good job Daddy’s a lawyer. He’ll know what we should do about this!” As they moved away smoothly the child turned round and stuck out his tongue at Linda. She felt her anger flare. “Horrible spoilt brat! I barely touched him,” she mumbled, wiping the slush from her goggles. “It was only an accident. I said I was sorry!” Linda called after them but they didn’t seem to hear her. She sighed. The other children laughed at her and skied away.

fact this bistro is famous for it.” Linda frowned. “What is it?” The bartender grinned broadly. “Our famous après ski hot cocktail. It’s called a Snow Bunny – a blend of Triple Sec, rich hot chocolate and whipped cream topped with marshmallows! It’s delicious and everyone who works in this bistro must know how to make the perfect one. House rules. Would you like to try?” Linda looked at the barman and slowly began to laugh. “No thanks. I think I’ve had enough Snow Bunnies for one day!”

If you have enjoyed Ella’s short story, why not read her latest novel, Ebony Blood? You can order either the e-book or paperback version though Ella’s website www.elladurham.co.uk

It was no good, she wasn’t cut out to be a Lodge Resort Snow Bunny. She was freezing cold and sore and she felt an idiot in this rabbit costume. She stepped gingerly back up the hill. Derek was nowhere to be seen. “Just as well I suppose,” she groaned. “No point in himfilming his wife being such a failure. I’ll never get the bistro job now. If they want people to dress up like fools, then I’ll withdraw my application. God, I need a stiff drink. Where’s the bar?” She needed something comforting and soothing. Walking into the lounge bar, she was surprised to see Derek already seated on a bar stool. “Hi, honey,” he said, his eyes twinkling. “I got the shots you wanted...well, maybe! Thought I’d leave you to it while I treated myself to something special. Join me?” Pulling off her bunny bobble hat, Linda sat down beside him. The bartender smiled. “What would you like to drink, senora? Oh, you look very cold. We have a speciality here – in

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Get more info on Ella Durham at: www.facebook.com/elladurhamauthor @LornaElla www.elladurham.co.uk

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Talking Point

Via negativa... your way

to a better life

It’s a new year and people all over the world are making resolutions to improve themselves. These goals usually consist of doing something new or adding a habit to their lives: get back into exercising, start being more sociable, adopt a new diet, earn more money etc. But after a few weeks of motivated effort, most folks start to lose steam. They stop going to the gym, never sign up for that woodworking class, and go back to eating biscuits and chocolate. Then they feel depressed because they haven’t made any progress on improving themselves. There’s nothing wrong with making these types of positive ‘adding’ goals, but it can be just as effective to subtract the things that might be holding us back. The path to becoming a better person is often found in following the via negativa – the negative way. Via negativa is a Latin phrase used in Christian theology to explain a way of describing God by focusing on what he is not, rather than what he is.

It can also be used to describe a “negative” way of improving one’s life: instead of concentrating on what you do, focus on what you don’t do. This path has two main thrusts: stripping bad habits and situations out of your life, and avoiding them in the first place. Getting Rid of Bad Habits/Downside In his book Antifragile, Nassim Taleb argues that the best way for a person or organisation to become antifragile (something that gains from setbacks and chaos rather than just survives) is to first decrease their downside. Downside consists of those things, people, actions, habits or systems that make you vulnerable to volatility and risk. For example, debt isn’t much of a problem when you have enough money coming in to make your payments, but as soon as you lose your job, that debt becomes a really big problem, really fast. By focusing your efforts on eliminating that debt, you eliminate the risk of falling behind on payments and you free up money to be spent on increasing your upside in life. As it goes with money, so it is with everything else. Smoking is a huge downside to your health; removing the smoking habit from your life provides more benefit than adding more exercise to your daily routine and protein to your diet. Continued on page 24

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Short Story


Talking Point Toxic relationships are a downside to your emotional and psychological well-being. Just ask someone who has been in an abusive relationship how much every area of their life improved once they got rid of that interpersonal albatross. Not only can eliminating bad habits be a highly effective way to improve your life, it’s also often a lot easier than creating a new, positive habit. Positive habits take a lot of motivation and willpower to cultivate. But not doing something is much simpler. For example, if you’re significantly overweight, switching to a low carb diet is going to shed those lbs for sure, but it’s not easy to stick with. Eliminating fizzy drinks, on the other hand, is a comparative cinch. Dropping the sugar water habit isn’t going to turn you into a trim athlete, but it’ll get you on your way; once you’re closer to your goal, and feeling some momentum, you can start making more significant, positive changes to your diet. Avoid Doing Stupid Stuff Taleb also argues that removing downside is just one part of via negativa. The other is to simply avoid it in the first place. Because we have a bias towards positive action, it’s hard for us to focus on how avoiding downside is a plus; we recognise when things go right, but fail to notice when something bad didn’t happen. This bias manifests itself in the way businesses reward success. Corporations will handsomely reward CEOs who substantially increase shareholder value during a boom time, but won’t provide the same sort of bonuses to the CEO who takes prudent measures that prevent the company from losing its metaphorical shirt during a bust. However, in the long run, not going bust is the best path towards success – you can’t make any money if you’re bankrupt! As Taleb notes:

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“In practice it is the negative that’s used by the pros, those selected by evolution: chess grandmasters usually win by not losing; people become rich by not going bust (particularly when others do); religions are mostly about interdicts; the learning of life is about what to avoid. You reduce most of your personal risks of accident thanks to a small number of measures.” I know a few very smart and talented individuals whose lives are in utter shambles despite their gifts. And it’s because they keep making stupid and avoidable mistakes; they consistently add a wholly unnecessary downside to their lives. If they had done nothing really positive, but had simply avoided the speeding fines, the drug arrests, the out-of-wedlock births, the affairs and the consumer debt, their lives would have been vastly superior to the ones they have now. Let that sink in: doing nothing would have given these people a better life than they have now. I sometimes hear people carp that the Ten Commandments or other religious edicts focus too much on restricting behaviour, but if you can go through life not murdering people, not lying, not sleeping with your neighbour’s wife and not filled with envy, you’re going to have a pretty good life.

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Talking Point Following via negativa may seem like a defensive and risk-averse way to live. But by focusing on what you don’t do, you actually put yourself in a position to be more aggressive with life. What Kind of person do I NOT Want to Be? The best way to gain clarity about a problem often is to address it backwards. This year, don’t ask yourself “What am I going to do to be a better person?” Invert this question and ask “What kind of person do I NOT want to be?” I think you’ll be surprised at the insights you’ll get from the answers.

Eliminating obvious downsides like bad habits and debt will provide a good life; eliminating good things so you can focus on the very best will lead to a truly flourishing one. If you’ve already made a lot of stupid mistakes in your life, don’t despair. Yes, you’ve dug yourself into a hole, but the first step to getting out of that hole is to stop digging. Resolve today that you’re going to avoid stupid lifealtering mistakes whenever possible. After that, start working your way out of that hole by doing what you have to do to make things right. It won’t be easy and it will take time, but improvement and turnarounds are possible. Plenty of people have done it before – and so can you.

So stop smoking, get rid of debt, get rid of toxic people in your life, stop wasting time on the internet and stop eating rubbish.

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Things to Do


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Classified Adverts Services Offered

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We are asking for people out there who took out a mortgage in 2004 with Cajasur in Antequera to get in contact with us. We believe we have a case relating to the amount you could be paying on your mortgage. This may be too much because of a fixed rate policy, meaning that the percentage rate would not go lower than 4.59 per cent. We would be interested in forming a group to consolidate on this issue. Your personal details will be treated as strictly confidential, please email your contact details only to info@theandalucian.com we will forward them on to private advertiser who wishes to remain anonymous.

Can you help? If you would like to volunteer to work in the CHAIN in Spain shop (La Trocha Centre, Coin) we have 3 shifts every day, 10-2pm, 2-6pm and 6-10pm. We are particularly desperate for evening staff. All volunteers get drinks, 50% off items and a warm fuzzy feeling from helping a good cause. Also a great way to practise your Spanish. Contact Denise on 672 399 320 or email info@chaininspain.net

Responsible Spanish married couple with children available immediately for live-in work — cleaning and maintenance jobs including general labouring, painting, gardening, pruning olive and fruit trees etc. Holders of a Phytosanitary certificate and current driving licences with own car. Will consider all areas. Please contact 649 169937 or 627 433683 for details (Spanish/French speaking).

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A loving home is wanted for Rufus, a young Podenco-type dog abandoned by hunters near Iznajar, Andalucia. He is sweet natured, wellbehaved and loves the company of other dogs. Rufus is approximately a year old, 18” high and will finally weigh around 11 kilos. He is currently being cared for at Rev Doreen’s Refuge and has had the Leishmaniasis blood test which proved negative. Rufus will be snipped, chipped and vaccinated — ready to give love and pleasure to his new family. Please contact Marylynne or Gillian on 637 896357 or email info@ruralaccommodationandalucia.com for more information.

Local artist Margaret Riordan has two art exhibitions running until March 2015 at Bar Choto Playa on the N340 at Peñoncillo beach, Torrox Costa, (not Tuesdays). Next to Ruta 34 motorcycles shop and in Restaurante Sevillano – El Rincón, Calle Gloria, Nerja

Are you holding a charity event and wish to advertise the details? Then call 952 723075 or email us with details info@theandalucian.com All charity events are listed for FREE.

Classified Advertising for only €5 (25 words) a month or €20 for six months (prices exclude IVA at 21%). Call 952 723075 or email us with details info@theandalucian.com

Property for Sale TEBA 3 bed, 2 bath 19th century townhouse. Original features, 360m2. Fantastic pool & terrace. Certified Energy Rating C. PRICE REDUCED €299,950 Call 627 683380 for details

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Situated at foot of Teba Gorge, 4 bed main house plus selfcontained 2 bed apartment ideal for letting/business. Large gardens and pool. Price reduced 249,000€ Phone 952749130 or email barbarasumner@hotmail. co.uk


Alice’s Wonderland

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