Editor’s Slice Hello Well as we see the month change I always feel that so do people’s moods. February always seems to bring a huge ray of hope for the year ahead. People start getting past the recent festivities, resolutions are either sticking or falling by the wayside and it feels like the year has really started. With this in mind, we are taking great strides at The Andalucían to make many changes this year too. This issue sees the end of our first decade in print and we are looking towards improvements to ensure we will still be publishing your favourite magazine for another ten years. Over the next few months, not only will the magazine see changes, but we are also expanding our distribution areas, printing more copies and have even more presence online. The world seems to be moving at great speed towards a more online generation – well, The Andalucían will be heading that way too and taking its advertisers with it. We will be offering lots of new services for them and there will be improvements for our readers too. Over the next few issues you will be able to read about these forward steps and we hope you are as excited about the year ahead as we are. Until then, I hope you enjoy what this action-packed issue has in store for you…
Mike www.facebook.com/theandalucian The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n, Campillos 29320, Malaga Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott 2
Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alice Marriott Ella Durham Heather Jones John Sharrock Taylor Sarah Jackson Shannon McCarthy Tricia Johnson
Deadline: 11th of each month We won’t be beaten on advertising prices
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How to find buyers for your property through marketing...
Trade Talk
by Creative Property Marketing
There is a formula that works when successfully advertising properties for sale in Spain. The property must be advertised on the leading global websites used by international buyers – if not, how can the buyers find the property? Then, the description/advert for the property has to be first class and preferably, feature the following… • The perfect main photograph – this is the property’s ‘kerb appeal’ on the internet!
home in Spain – knowing there are no surprises attracts the buyer to your property over others! • Dimensions of the property and land: giving the buyer the exact dimensions of the property, outbuildings, pools and the land is essential.
• A good and thorough selection of photographs available for the buyers to browse online.
• Access to the property: a buyer wants to know if the access to the property is via a tarmac road or off a dirt track, plus driving and walking distances to amenities.
• An expertly-written and appealing description of the property which needs to make the property stand out from the crowd.
• Airports, major towns and cities: buyers like to know how long it takes to reach major destinations.
• The description should tell a story, not be just a boring monologue.
• Amenities available in the location of the property: telling buyers what is on their doorstep and further away ensures the right buyers turn up to view your property.
• The geographical area of the property should also be described with flair – after all, the prospective buyers need to be sold on the location as much as the property! • Key features of the property should be listed. • The price ideally needs to be at current market value and if the property is for sale ‘direct from owner’ then the seller has the option of offering the house at a competitive price to attract buyers - a real advantage! • A Google map location of the property is also a selling bonus - buyers love it! • The inclusion of monthly and annual running costs for the property – often buyers are pleasantly surprised how cheap it is to run a
Putting together the perfect property description to include all of the above is a real art, and knowing where to place advertisements is a skill that can only be learned over time. Creative Property Marketing has the skills, techniques, experience and professionalism to create a unique property description for each home, farm, building plot or commercial enterprise, and know which websites attract the buyers. If you think your property deserves to feature on the most prestigious property sales websites with the best description possible, then contact Creative Property Marketing (you will find contact details on the back cover of the magazine).
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3
Just for Fun
Useless things you just
don’t need to
know about...
The longest time between two twins being born is 87 days. In 2007, an American man named Corey Taylor tried to fake his own death in order to get out of his cell phone contract without paying a fee. It didn’t work. The oldest condoms ever found date back to the 1640s (they were found in a cesspit at Dudley Castle), and were made from animal and fish intestines. In 1923, jockey Frank Hayes won a race at Belmont Park in New York despite being dead — he suffered a heart attack mid-race, but his body stayed in the saddle until his horse crossed the line for a 20–1 outsider victory. Everyone has a unique tongue print, just like fingerprints. Most Muppets are left-handed. (Because most Muppeteers are right-handed, they operate the head with their favoured hand.) Female kangaroos have three vaginas. It costs the U.S. Mint almost twice as much to mint each penny and nickel as the coins are actually worth. Taxpayers lost over $100 million in 2013 just through the coins being made. Light doesn’t necessarily travel at the speed of light. The slowest we’ve ever recorded light moving at is 38 mph. Casu marzu is a Sardinian cheese that contains live maggots. The maggots can jump up to five inches out of cheese while you’re eating it, so
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it’s a good idea to shield it with your hand to stop them jumping into your eyes. The loneliest creature on Earth is a whale who has been calling out for a mate for over two decades — but whose high-pitched voice is so different to other whales that they never respond. The spikes on the end of a stegosaurus’ tail are known among paleontologists as the “thagomizer” — a term coined by cartoonist Gary Larson in a 1982 Far Side drawing. During World War II, the crew of the British submarine HMS Trident kept a fully grown reindeer called Pollyanna aboard their vessel for six weeks. (It was a gift from the Russians). The northern leopard frog swallows its prey using its eyes — it uses them to help push food down its throat by retracting them into its head. The first man to urinate on the moon was Buzz Aldrin, shortly after stepping onto the lunar surface. Some fruit flies are genetically resistant to getting drunk — but only if they have an inactive version of a gene scientists have named “happyhour”.
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Talking Point
Health & Beauty
Don’t let your heart be broken Women are known to care about others' hearts and feelings, but they should take good care of their own heart health. Personal heart care is easy – just use a few smart steps and you can be assured that your heart is well taken care of. Some readers may still wonder about the need for heart care, but here is a fact you may not know...
Studies have shown that 90 per cent of heart attacks in women are preventable. Surprising, isn't it? So, will you consider making a few small changes in your life to take better care of your heart?
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Know your heart A medical check-up is the best way to start as you need to know where you stand in order to improve the health of your heart. A cardiac check-up is the most effective preventive heart care tool. It involves all the important tests to measure health of your heart, for example: triglycerides, good cholesterol (HDL) and bad cholesterol (LDL) etc. If you feel that you are answering yes to the majority of the following common risk factors, or if four or more apply to you, then consider getting an appointment to discuss your heart health immediately.
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Health & Beauty • Age above 45 years • Disorders such as depression, diabetes and irregular blood pressure • High-stress lifestyle • Sedentary lifestyle • Excessive drinking or smoking • Obesity or poor diet habits • Genetics (family members have suffered heart complaints) Protect your heart Every woman who meets the above criteria has a higher risk of having a heart problem. However, if your current heart check- up gives a clean bill of health, or you feel the majority of the above statements do not apply, then don’t just sit back and feel relieved. Try implementing the following steps to protect your heart in the years to come from any further risks: • Stop smoking and drinking. • Lower your salt intake to 6 mg or less. • Exercise for 30 minutes a day every day.
• Enjoy a heart-healthy diet – less fat. • Reduce stress and live a worry-free lifestyle. • Keep a close eye on any medical conditions such as diabetes or blood pressure — they should be under control at all times. Do not self medicate if you have these conditions. For sure, some of these protective measures can mean challenging changes for some women, but they will be healthy changes and will bring their own reward in time – they will only improve the status of your cardiovascular system. See these changes as a safety net for your most important asset – your health.
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7
Legal Advice
Renting your property in Andalucía by Decotta Law
A great deal has been written about the regulations and laws governing the use of tourist apartments and renting property to tourists and visitors. Many of you will have heard about a new registry for tourist accommodation. The founding law in Andalucía is the Ley 13/2011 which clearly defines the establishments, businesses and properties that come within the tourist law. These are: • Hotels • *Tourist apartments/three or more apartments • Camping and campsites • Rural tourist properties • Any other establishment regulated by law (such as water parks, sporting centres, etc.)
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The registry has not been established in accordance with the Decreto 143/2014 and can be accessed at www.juntadeandalucia.es/turismoycomercio/ opencms/organigrama/consejero/ viceconsejeria/turismo/registro-de-turismo-deandalucia This registry is for those businesses and tourist establishments as outlined above. Although it is a voluntary registry the more detailed aspects of the regulations cover protection of the environment and health and safety, and are obligatory. The registry is also open to travel agencies who combine accommodation with travel,
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Legal Advice tourist guides, businesses dedicated to tourist activities, rural tourism properties and to those who regularly rent out three or more properties. However in order to avoid some of the current confusion, a consultation with the Junta de Andalucía specifically states the following: “Accommodation which is considered tourist accommodation is that which is regularly offered to users and advertised publicly, or which regularly provides accommodation on one or more occasions in the same year for more than one month. However, individuals or businesses who rent out one or two apartments in a building for occasional tourist use for holidays are not considered tourist apartments.” However those who do rent out one or two operations – even if it is only for short periods – do have a fiscal obligation to declare the rental
in Spain. The property is in Spain and therefore the tax declaration must be made here. Some set-off may be given in your home country if you are not tax resident in Spain. There are also deductions for certain specified costs. The new registry and tourism law may affect agents who manage and advertise rental properties for you, but if you have any doubts, it is best to consult a lawyer about your particular circumstances. *Tourist apartments must be inscribed at the Land Registry and have regulations such as only allowing one company to exploit or rent out the properties. For more information contact Sandra Wrightson on info@decottalaw.net See advert below for further contact details.
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Charity News
The Royal British Legion
Standard
One of the unique features of The Royal British Legion is the parading of the standards (flags) at all important functions. The standard is entrusted into the care of the branch standard bearer who stores it and ensures that it is available whenever necessary. serve the branch in this way and have enjoyed every minute, but when the task becomes painful it is time to give up.”
Lol Moon has been the Mollina branch standard bearer for the last five years but unfortunately, owing to ill health, has had to relinquish the position. Lol said, “I have been very proud to
At a ceremony during the branch meeting in February, branch chairman Marty Power thanked Lol for his dedication. He then transferred the responsibility to the new standard bearer, Colin Lamb, who has recently moved into the area and become a member of the Mollina branch. Coincidentally, in a year when the RBL commemorates the 75th anniversary of the Battle of Britain, both Lol and Colin served in the Royal Air Force. Lol served for 25 years, mainly in the Middle and Far East whilst Colin served for 20 years before completing a tour as a trainer in the Saudi Arabian Air Force. Colin stated, “It was always my intention to join the RBL when I returned to Europe and though a relatively new member in the branch, I will do my utmost to follow the extremely high standard set by Lol.” The RBL Mollina branch meets on the second and fourth Tuesday of each month at Parque La Vina, Mollina, at 11am. You do not need to have served in the Armed Forces to become a member. Contact punshon.dave@gmail.com for further details or visit the branch website www.theroyalbritishlegion.org.uk/branches/ mollina If you have served in the Armed Forces and feel that the RBL could be of assistance, contact our welfare chairman on 62824076.
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Spotlight
Things to Do
Get yourself some
lady lumps...
Last month, we discussed the pros for keeping chickens. This month, we discuss the shelter and diet your new chickens will require. Of course, some of you may want to raise chickens from small chicks, or even hatch your own eggs in an incubator at home. Others may want to skip all of that and buy adult hens already laying eggs. Shelter for baby chickens (chicks) is different from teenagers and adults. I’ll break shelter down into two main categories based upon chicken age. Shelter Spring is the best time to get started in raising small chicks. I keep all my baby chicks inside my home or garage for the first two months. Many farm supply stores carry live baby chicks around Easter. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to tell girls from boys at this age so you just have to take your chances. It takes four to five months for baby female chicks to start laying. The local bar is also a great place to find a farmer – or get told of one – who has chicks (and even laying hens) available. But, if you want to see something really amazing, order an incubator and fertilised eggs online and hatch them yourself. The newborn chicks will make an imprint on you and form a much stronger bond. Roosters are beautiful birds but unless you want to fertilise your eggs and hatch more chickens, roosters are pretty much worthless. They do not lay eggs but without one, your hens’ eggs cannot be hatched into more chickens if you wish to do so. Remember, your chickens will lay eggs without a rooster present! I will assume you are looking to buy older chicks (two months or older) to start with if you are a new owner.
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Once chickens reach two months old they are OK to live in an outdoor coop, assuming it’s not the dead of winter! There are literally thousands of different outdoor coop designs. Just do a quick Google search for “chicken coop” and you’ll see what I mean. I normally keep three to five chickens in a coop that has a footprint of 4×8 feet. You can buy coop kits online or download plans for free. I built my first chicken coop, however, from scrap supplies. I also prefer coops that are mobile – commonly referred to as chicken tractors. These normally have wheels on one side and allow you to move it around the yard so that your hens can free range a bit. When it comes to outdoor chicken coops, there are several important details. • Security: Chickens, even though merciless birds of prey for anything smaller than a deck of cards, are at the bottom of the food chain and are considered a delicacy by pretty much every predator. • Run Space: All coops should have a space for chickens to forage and get some fresh air. • Elevated Roost: Though I’ve seen open-air roosting coops, I prefer my chickens to have an elevated and enclosed roosting area. Like most birds, chickens have a natural roosting instinct and will roost in high areas (even trees if you let them). This space should be sheltered but also ventilated – especially during hot summer months. The roosting area typically includes a roosting perch bar where the chickens will sleep. • Roof: Coops should have a roof to protect from the weather.
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Things to Do • Nesting Boxes: All coops should have nesting boxes. These are just little spaces for hens to lay their eggs. I put straw or wood shavings in my nesting boxes. Typically, these are integrated into the roosting area. • Mobile Coops: I like mobile coops for many reasons. With stationary coops, chickens will strip the ground down to bare earth in a matter of days, so which you go for depends on your land. • Heat: I do not heat my coop as chickens are covered in thick downy feathers and if other birds can weather the temperatures, so can they. Diet Remember, you are ultimately eating what you feed your chickens. I like to let my hens free range as much as possible and they absolutely LOVE leftover dinner and kitchen scraps. And chickens love chicken, eggs and eggshells. I know, it sounds a little gross, but they do. Don’t hesitate to give them your scrap eggshells or cold chicken sandwich. They will make quick work of about any kitchen scrap you throw their way, including – but not limited to – watermelon rinds, apple cores, potato peels, grapes, eggshells, meat scraps, stale bread, crackers, bacon… and the list goes on and on.
Like all living things, chickens need fresh water. There are many different chicken watering buckets on the market. I use a five-gallon version because I have to fill it less often. I use a heated watering bowl in the winter – whether you choose to do this or not, do make certain that their water is not iced over during the colder months, even here in Spain! Like all animals, chickens can get sick. It’s often difficult to diagnose. Your best bet is to check the online forums for other owners who have had similar problems. In general, though, chickens are very healthy and easy to care for; I’ve only ever had one die from being sick. In summary, chickens have a lot to offer people from all walks of life. They are inexpensive to farm and won’t break the bank – even if you’re just scratching out a living or trying to save up a nest egg!
I also purchase chicken feed from a local farm supply store to supplement their diet, especially in winter. My mum grew up feeding chickens strictly whole corn kernels. Bottom line, chickens have a very versatile diet. Invest in a durable feeder and keep it clean. Check it at least every other day and make sure the feed isn’t mouldy or wet. They use what’s called grit (pieces of sand and gravel) to grind up the food in their gizzard. A bowl full of sand is perfect. Crushed oyster shells (also found at your local farm supply store) are great for extra calcium. This also makes their eggshells nice and strong.
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13
Just for Fun
Twenty teasers - mixed bag of mind-blowing questions 1. Which was the first James Bond film in which Pierce Brosnan starred in the title role? 2. Which actor plays Stephen Hawking in the 2014 film ‘The Theory of Everything’? 3. In which Thomas Hardy novel do the characters of Bathsheba Everdene and Gabriel Oak appear?
7. How many feet above the ground must the bottom edge of the crossbar on a football goal be? 8. Who was the first character ever to appear on Eastenders? 9. Who held the post of Leader of the House of Commons on January 1 this year?
4. Name three of the six naturally-occurring noble gases.
10. Which country was the first- ever winner of the FIFA World Cup?
5. Name all six weapons used in a traditional British version of the board game Cluedo.
11. How many dots are there in total on five dice?
6. In which English county will you find Bolsover Castle?
12. How warm is normal body temperature? 13. Which word represents the letter ‘M’ in the NATO phonetic alphabet? 14. What is 17 squared? 15. Who did American actress Barbara Bach marry in 1981? 16. Which US state borders Texas, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri and Arkansas? 17. In which year was the Battle of Britain? 18. According to the Chinese zodiac, as from February 15 2015 it will be the year of which animal? 19. To whom is the following quote attributed – “Science is not only a discipline of reason but also, one of romance and passion”? 20. Which of the three astronauts on the Apollo 11 mission did not set foot on the moon? Turn to page 25 for the answers.
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Tumobilhome Spain S.L. is an English-owned and run company and is now Spain’s largest dealer of pre-owned residential spec mobile homes as well as being manufacturers of new mobile homes. We buy, sell, transport and store residential specification mobile homes throughout Spain and Portugal. We have a main sales base in Madrid and we work all over the Iberian peninsula, the Balearics and the Canary Islands. We specialise in helping vendors who have been unable to sell due to difficult market conditions, and circumstances now dictate they must bring the sale of their unit to a successful conclusion. We offer free legal advice to inform vendors of their rights here in Spain with our own in-house lawyer. Clients who are having difficulties with site owners and unreasonable rental contracts can then make a more informed choice. Regrettably, some of the site owners we have dealt with in the past have taken advantage of the vendors’ inability to speak the language (we are Spanish
speakers) and a lack of understanding of the law. We are here to redress that balance and help. We can arrange all aspects of mobile home purchase and sales such as the removal, disconnection, plot preparation and/or clearance and furniture removal both locally and internationally. Many of our vendors sell their mobile home and move to the local village, paying the same or less in rent than their ground fees were. They then put the proceeds of the sale into the bank. We have a fully legal and insured team of contractors. When we buy a mobile home we pay for it before it is removed. We can pay in cash or by bank transfer to a bank account in Spain or overseas. We can negotiate on your behalf with the campsite if you are overseas or feel intimidated by the site owner. So, don’t just hand in the keys at reception and walk away – call us!
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Things to Do
Why 5x50-ing? Health benefits • The past decades have seen most of the western population become more sedentary. Modernity, with all its perks, makes for comfortable homes but our level of activity seems to be ever-decreasing, what with sitting on the sofa, sitting at the desk, sitting in the car or public transport…. It’s sitting, sitting, sitting.
• up to a 30% lower risk of depression • up to a 30% lower risk of dementia So how to get more active? To enjoy all these health benefits, we need to work hard enough to raise our heart rate and break into a sweat. Think about an activity you practise at an intensity where you can still talk, but are no longer able to sing. This is known as a moderate intensity, aerobic activity. For instance, try to • walk fast or power walk • practise aerobics on the ground or in water
While the evidence seems obvious that we should all be physically more active, it has also become essential if we want to be healthy and live a fulfilling life into old age. As published on the NHS website, studies have proved that people taking on a regular physical activity have: • up to a 35% lower risk of coronary heart disease and stroke • up to a 50% lower risk of type 2 diabetes • up to a 50% lower risk of colon cancer • up to a 20% lower risk of breast cancer • a 30% lower risk of early death • up to an 83% lower risk of osteoarthritis • up to a 68% lower risk of hip fracture • a 30% lower risk of falls (among older adults)
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• ride a bike on the flat or on roads with a moderate slope The important point to remember is your heartrate needs to be raised and as such, daily activities such as shopping, cooking or housework cannot be taken into account because the intensity of the workout is not high enough. So to sum up, let’s see the main advantages of getting active: 1 Exercise for the weight Do you want to prevent excess weight gain? Are you looking to lose a few pounds? Then engage in a physical activity as you will burn calories. Simples! And the more active you get, the more calories you will burn. You do not have to join an expensive gym or dedicate hours a day to reap the benefits – just make it a habit to be more active and you will see a difference! The 5x50 challenge runs for 50 days and encourages you to commit to
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Things to Do exercise 50 days in a row. At the end of the challenge, you will have felt all the benefits of committing and sticking to the regime, and no doubt you will have formed a new habit. A ‘BE GOOD TO YOURSELF’ ONE. 2 Exercise for battling health conditions and diseases As mentioned earlier, the benefits of getting active are so wide and diverse that before popping a pill, you may just want to start moving. From depression to weight control, having a stronger body – bones and muscles – may just prevent a few too many trips to your GP. 3 Exercise for an improved mood Feeling stressed or down? JUST GET MOVING. Go to the gym and work out, power walk for 30 minutes, go for a swim or on your bike. Just do not remain seated overthinking negatively! Exercising will trigger brain
chemicals that will bring on happiness, make you think good thoughts and get rid of your stress. By deciding to take the lead, you will think more clearly, you may find solutions to your problems more easily, see yourself under a different light, boost your confidence and improve your self-esteem. 4 Exercise for energy Feeling out of energy, the winter blues, generally deflated? Improve your muscle strength and boost your endurance by practising a physical activity of your choice. Your cardiovascular system will work more efficiently and your body will benefit from a better oxygen flow and nutrient delivery. When your body feels stronger and works more efficiently is when you feel ENERGETIC, and ready to conquer the world!
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Continued on page 18
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Things to Do 5 Exercise for better sleep Problems sleeping because your mind cannot stop thinking? Waking up regularly in the middle of the night? To fall asleep quickly and feel like you have had a good night, don’t reach for the pills but for your trainers and get active!
6 Exercise for a renewed sex life Have you lost your mojo? Don’t you feel attractive anymore? Because exercising will get you back into shape, trigger the delivery of a plethora of hormones and chemicals, your intimate life will just keep getting better and better. 7 Exercise and have fun Exercise doesn’t have to be boring or daunting. Choose an activity you can practise with friends, family or your loved one. Indoors or outdoors, get rid of that stress, talk out your worries and above all, choose an activity you enjoy and will always look forward to. Dance, walk, hike, swim, ride – just do it regularly!. Vary the activities and when you feel you are fed up with one, choose another. It is THAT EASY!
JOIN THE 5X50 CHALLENGE TODAY WWW.5X50.ORG WWW.5X50.ORG/TEAM/5X50-ANDALUSIA-AND-BEYOND
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Short Story
Forever Valentine
by Ella Durham
“That will be two pounds fifty, please,” the postmistress said with a smile. “Do you want to write it here and post it? I can put it into the next collection, if you’d like.” “Thanks, but I’m going to deliver it by hand. He’s not here right now but hopefully he will be soon,” Amanda replied, handing over some cash. “You see, I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. Only ten weeks but it’s certain. I thought I’d write the news inside the card. I want to make this Valentine’s Day extra special.” She felt her cheeks flush slightly. The postmistress looked at the card. Two teddy bears clung fiercely to each other while one held the strings of red balloons. They appeared to drift upwards towards the star-filled heavens.
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“Ah, yes, the ‘Forever Valentine’. Good choice,” she said, as if she knew every card in the shop by name. “I hope the recipient appreciates the effort you’re going to.” “I hope so too. I just thought Valentine’s Day was a good day to let him know about the baby and what his love means to me. I’ve got to tell my parents too. They always wanted grandchildren.” The postmistress nodded sagely. “In my experience, the first few weeks can be a little difficult.” Continued on page 22
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Short Story “Yes, I know. They have been very difficult for me lately but now I just want to tell the whole world!” Amanda stroked her tummy lovingly. “I’d say that young man is a lucky chap to have such a caring lady thinking of him while he’s away. Boyfriend? Husband?” “Fiancé. The Army. Royal Engineers. He proposed on his last home leave before Christmas. I suppose our baby is the result of me accepting his marriage proposal!” She felt her chest swell with pride. The postmistress patted the young woman’s hand affectionately. “Well, if your young man is as thrilled at this news as you obviously are, then I’m sure you will be a very happy little family.” Amanda smiled then looked at her watch. “Oh, Lord! Is that the time?” She turned and hurried out. “Wait! Your change!” the postmistress called after her but Amanda had already gone. She sighed and put the coins back into her cash till then straightened a stack of newspapers which headlined the loss of a group of soldiers in an explosion in an Asian desert. Amanda walked briskly, thinking of Robert and the new life growing steadily within her. She hoped it would be a boy and look like his father. Robert was devilishly handsome and had the most beaming smile. She felt as proud and excited now as when she’d watched him in his Army ‘passing out’ parade. She couldn’t wait to let him know about the baby. She just wished... but there was no point in wishing, was there? She hurried on, away from town. Soon she’d left the concrete and traffic noise behind and was comforted by the soft silence of the graveyard. She hesitated as she looked upon the rows laid out before her. Amanda felt the spongy surface of grass beneath her feet. There were few people about. Not everyone
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wanted to be here at this time of year. She sat down at a wooden bench. The cold weather did nothing but chill her bones but as she opened the Valentine’s card, she felt the warmth of her love tingle through her. It made her smile. Nimbly, she began to write her special message, knowing this Valentine’s Day greeting would be one never to be forgotten. “My wonderful Robert. My forever Valentine! I am so excited to tell you that we are going to have a child in the autumn. I sure he will be strong and handsome – just like his father. And I will love him as much if not more than I love you. Are you pleased, my darling?” She kissed the words she had written and quickly pushed it into the envelope. She gathered her coat more tightly around her and stepped forward to a row of freshly-covered graves. She stopped at one with a newlyerected headstone. She took a deep breath. The wind moaned in the trees. It was almost dark now and cold, so very cold. Amanda felt her throat constrict. This was going to be so very hard but she wanted to do it – even though the pain of her loss crushed her heart and made it difficult to breathe. The wind blew more strongly now, causing her eyes to water – or was it simply her own sad tears? She wiped them away quickly and sniffed loudly as she looked at the marble headstone. She could barely make out the inscription. Damn, she’d promised herself that she wouldn’t cry – not when she had such great news to impart. Only her sorrow had let her down.
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Short Story “Here, sweetheart! You’d better have this.” A handkerchief was waved over her shoulder. Amanda spun round. “Oh, Robert! I’m so pleased you agreed to meet me here. I couldn’t do this alone.” She grabbed the handkerchief and threw her arms around him. Robert gave her a squeeze and kissed the top of her head.
“Do you think they would be pleased, if they were here?” “I’m sure they are, darling,” he replied. If you have enjoyed Ella’s short story, why not read her latest novel, Ebony Blood? You can order either the e-book or paperback version though Ella’s website www.elladurham.co.uk
“Did you really think I’d let you visit your parents’ grave on your own so soon after the funeral? I know it’s hard to lose those you love; I learned that in Afghanistan, didn’t I? But darling, why did you want us both to come here today?” He looked at her earnestly. Amanda looked up into his face with her heart bursting with love. “When my parents died in the coach crash a few weeks ago, I thought my world was shattered. Being an only child, I had always shared everything with them. So I wanted to share this with them too.” Robert’s brows knotted.
Get more info on Ella Durham at: www.facebook.com/elladurhamauthor @LornaElla www.elladurham.co.uk
“Share what?” Amanda smiled. “Valentine’s Day is all about showing just how much you love someone – whether they are with you in person or far away. I wanted to show how much I love you all. I wanted you all to know. So... happy Valentine’s Day, darling.” She thrust the greetings card into his hand, stepped aside and laid her hands gently around the top of her parents’ gravestone, stroking it softly. She watched with mounting joy as Robert opened it and read her message. He looked up and beamed with delight. He leaped forward and held her close, his kisses smothering her neck and cheeks. She leaned into him but looked at the grave.
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Charity News
Helping the world to see Specsavers Opticas has announced a campaign to collect unwanted glasses to present to the Lions Clubs at the beginning of May and start off their “Recycle for Sight Month” in the best possible way. There are two Specsavers Opticas stores on the Costa del Sol – in Marbella and Fuengirola – and they are calling on their local communities to get involved so they can collect as many glasses as possible and beat their 2013 campaign which collected 4,436 pairs. Specsavers Opticas and Lions Clubs International are committed to helping the world to see, and this collection will change lives in areas where people desperately need access to glasses. Specsavers is asking community groups, schools and clubs to help by having a collection and bringing them into their nearest store so glasses don’t go to waste. The campaign will run until April 29. Yo find your nearest store visit www.specsavers. es.
into single vision, bifocals, varifocals and sunglasses. They are then graded according to prescription strength, cleaned and boxed for distribution. Lions Club representatives are located across many developing countries including Africa and India. They test the eyes of locals and send requests for the required prescription glasses onto the fulfilment plant. Lions Clubs International collects around 70,000 pairs of glasses in their Alicante Centre to be redispensed every year, with each one being donated and hand selected for specific people in need. For more information on Lions Clubs International and to find your local branch visit www.lionsclubs.org
After the glasses are donated in store they are sent to the Lions Club’s recycling plant in Alicante, where they are first separated
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Just for Fun
Twenty teasers answers from page 14 1. GoldenEye 2. Eddie Redmayne 3. Far from the Madding Crowd 4. Any three of: Helium, Neon, Argon, Krypton, Xenon and Radon 5.Candlestick, dagger, lead pipe/piping, revolver, rope and spanner 6. Derbyshire 7. 8 feet (2.44 metres) 8. Den Watts 9. William Hague 10. Uruguay 11. 105 12. 37˚C/ 98.6˚F 13. Mike 14. 289 15. Ringo Starr
16. Oklahoma 17. 1940 18. Sheep or ram 19. Stephen Hawking 20. Michael Collins 21. Of which European country is Podgorica the capital? Montenegro 22. Which is the world’s largest ocean? Pacific Ocean 23. 12 Years a Slave 24. 1957 25. 45
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Spotlight
I don’t like
potatoes, me
by John Sharrock Taylor
“You Lancastrians aggressive.”
always
sound
so
Lindsay was a Londoner married to a girl from Bury, so I supposed he must know what he was talking about, but I was puzzled all the same. “Aggressive? Us?” “There you go! It's that extra pronoun you tack onto the end of every sentence.” Lindsay had a point. Over the years the statement, 'I don't like potatoes, me' has become something of a joke in our house, although Val actually does like the wretched things and has (she thinks) become adept at making them palatable by disguising them as something else. Vice President Dan Quayle learned quite late in life to be wary of what he once notoriously spelled as the 'potatoe', but I can say with absolute candour that it's a vegetable that excited zero enthusiasm in my infant breast, and the intervening 60-odd years have given me no reason to revise that opinion. In fact my idea of Hell would be an eternity of baked potatoes, accompanied by a continuous loop of Rod Stewart's greatest hits. “But baked potatoes are delicious! You can do all kinds of things with them. You can scoop the inside out, mash it and mix it with cheese, yoghurt, butter, sour cream...” “Doubly revolting, as I'm lactose intolerant and for me all those 'delicious' ingredients simply add up to even more snot. But you make my point for me. To render a potato barely palatable you have to 'do' things to it. If it naturally tasted of anything more than cotton
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wool soaked in water, you'd be able to eat it without all the alchemy.” “But roast potatoes, crisps, chips...” “Taste of burnt cotton wool coated in fat.” “You're a lost cause, you.” “Ah! who's clobbering the aggressive pronoun now?” “The trouble with you is that you don't know what's good for you.” “Wrong. I know perfectly well what's good for me – I just don't like some of it.” “So what do you like? Burgers and bacon, I suppose.” “Perfectly acceptable as a very occasional treat, as are chorizo, black pudding and prawn curries, but in fact I normally eat a fairly healthy diet: hardly any fried food, red meat or animal fat, plenty of oily fish, lots of vegetables, pulses, cereals, nuts, dried fruits such as apricots, sultanas, cranberries...” “What about fresh fruit?” “I don't like it.” “What?! You don't...” “Know what's good for me? Don't start that again.” My point is quite simple: however much the health gurus may pontificate – and, as I'm sure you've noticed, they seem to change their minds at least once a week – the human race in general eats what it fancies, drinks what it fancies and does what it fancies…. which takes me back almost 30 years to the mid 1980s. Continued on page 28
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Short Story
Spotlight Our six-year-old son Richard was struggling with chronic nasal congestion and 'glue-ear' and our excellent GP had set up a meeting with the top Ear Nose and Throat specialist from the Big City. Friends had warned us that although the Great Man undoubtedly knew his stuff, he was something of a misogynist who liked to show off to his attendant coterie of students by aiming snide remarks at the mothers of his patients, so I had decided that I, rather than Val, would beard him in his den. Seated amidst his attentive little entourage of young medics, the ENT consultant was, youngish, handsome, black, immaculatelytailored and looked and sounded a lot like the actor Don Warrington. He did not respond to my 'Good Morning' but sat with eyes lowered, studying Richard's case notes. At length, regarding me sombrely and with apparent distaste, he asked:
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“When are you going to stop smoking?” “Never,” I replied succinctly. The consultant's eyes opened wide in theatrical disbelief and his lip curled: “But smoking is a filthy, poisonous habit in itself, and passive smoking is just as deleterious! Have you absolutely no concern for the health of your child?” “I have every concern for it.” “Then for God's sake, why do you continue to smoke?” “May I ask you a question?” “If you must.” “Why don't you ask me if I do in fact smoke?” “Well, DO you smoke?” “No. In fact I've never even tried it and neither has my wife. We regard it as a filthy poisonous habit which is entirely deleterious to health.”
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Spotlight The students were grinning broadly in the background and seemed to enjoy this little exchange even more than I did. To be fair to the Great Man, he subsequently performed the required surgical miracle of fully restoring our son's hearing. Richard's own son and daughter have recently needed similar operations and as neither he nor their mother smokes, I conclude that heredity rather than environment has been the key factor in the problem. I'd find it difficult, if not impossible, to fully express my utter loathing of the tobacco habit and everything associated with it. The sight of an overflowing ashtray or even a single discarded cigarette butt makes my gorge rise.
“Drinking alcohol is as bad as smoking. The Proverbs sage wrote: 'Look not thou upon the wine when it is red' and we all know how you like a glass or three of the red.” “Everybody knows you can prove almost anything from the Bible. The Apostle Paul wrote 'take a little wine for thy stomach's sake.' Anyway, all the medical authorities are agreed that any amount of smoking is dangerous but quite a lot of them would also agree with St Paul that a tincture in moderation can actually benefit our health. I like the story of the Methodist minister whose friend tried to put him on the spot by sending him a bottle of cherry brandy on his birthday. The crafty cleric put a notice in his church magazine thanking the donor for his 'present of fruit and the spirit in which it was given'.” “So you never drink more than you should?” “We both know that I occasionally do and we also know that my last health check discovered that my blood pressure was higher than it ought to be.” “So are you going to climb permanently onto the water wagon?”
I grew up in a house filled with smoke because both my parents were addicts who indulged heavily and unremittingly. They both came from long-lived families and both were dead years before their time, my father from a massive haemorrhage and my mother agonisingly over ten years from a series of mini-strokes that aped the symptoms of Alzheimer's and triggered storms of rage as she intermittently realised what was happening to her. I first realised that something was seriously amiss when she called me and hallucinated over the telephone. Ironically, I was listening at the time to the radio version of the play One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I would never need to listen to arguments against smoking. The aversion is visceral and total.
“No, that would be as unlikely as my suddenly developing a craving for potatoes, but you may have noticed that I've recently started to take 'holidays' off the sauce. Virgin Marys as opposed to Bloody ones, and so on. Anyway, Lent begins on February 18th and I'll be swearing off the bottle until Easter.” “You mean you won't be taking a drink for 40 days and 40 nights?” “No, except for Sundays and saints' days. They count as feasts.” “But in Spain every day is some saint's day or other.” “Really? I hadn't noticed that.”
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Health & Beauty
How healthy are
you?
by Sarah Jackson
When asked to consider how healthy you are, your first thoughts probably centre around how much fat and sugar you eat, how much exercise you take, how much alcohol you consume, how many tablets you take or how many times a month you have to visit your doctor. You are much more unlikely to consider how socially connected you feel, and how the quality of the relationships in your life affect your overall health. How many of you are aware that loneliness makes you sick?
In 2006, a study of 2800 women who had breast cancer showed that those who saw few friends or family were as much as five times more likely to die of their disease than women with many social contacts.
Loneliness, as defined by Frieda FrommReichmann, the famous German psychiatrist and contemporary of Sigmund Freud, is ‘the want of intimacy’ and is not determined by the number of relationships you have, but by their subjective quality. You might live in a house full of people or spend every day in close proximity to your spouse, and yet feel extremely disconnected, empty and unwanted.
One of the most fascinating studies into the effect loneliness has on health took place in 1961, and involved the study of a group of Italian immigrants in Roseto, Pennsylvania.
Doctors have known for some time that loneliness is bad for the mind. It leads to mental health problems such as depression, stress, anxiety and a lack of confidence. But there's growing evidence that social isolation is connected with an increased risk of physical ill health as well. There are suggestions it can make some diseases both more likely to occur – and more likely to be fatal.
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Roseto was a very remote village. As newcomers to Pennsylvania, the Italian immigrant community was shunned by their surrounding neighbours, so they looked out for each other. They were a tightly-bound community; extended families lived together, everyone went to church together and holidays were celebrated together. They took care of each other; no-one was left to struggle alone. There were few boundaries between homes as people wandered in and out of each other’s houses. The women would cook together in communal kitchens and prepare the tables for the communal meal of traditional pasta, Italian sausage, meatballs fried in lard and plenty of local wine. The people worked hard, doing long hours in either the stone quarry or the blouse factory. The whole community was united in their shared work ethic and the desire to make a better life for their children.
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Health & Beauty The inhabitants of Roseto were brought to the attention of Dr Stewart Wolf, a professor at the University of Oklahoma School of Medicine, when he bought a summer home in the Poconos, not far away. One evening, one of the local doctors mentioned to him that it appeared strange that heart disease in the little town of Roseto was far less than in the adjoining town of Bangor. At the time, heart attack was the number one cause of death in men under 65. Dr Wolf set about researching the possible reason for this. He discovered that the heart attack rate in Roseto was half the national average – in fact it was nearly zero for men under 65. He also discovered that the death rate from all causes was 35 per cent lower than average in Roseto and furthermore, there was no suicide, no alcoholism, no drug addiction, no-one was on welfare and there was very little
crime. The people of Roseto died of old age – that was it. (Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success (New York: Little, Brown & Company, 2018), 7) Further studies into this apparent ‘immunity to disease’ led researchers to look into the diet of the inhabitants, and their customs and practices. To their surprise they discovered food was cooked in lard, and pizza loaded with sausage, pepperoni, salami and eggs was routinely eaten; 41 per cent of their calories came from fat. In addition, his studies revealed that the inhabitants of Roseto were not physically fit. Most smoked, most were sedentary and many were obese. This led him to study the genetics of the population.
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Continued on page 32
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Health & Beauty As the inhabitants of Roseto all originated from the same small village in Italy, Dr Wolf believed that they may have inherited some diseaseprotective gene. He found other immigrants originating from the same village who had settled in other parts of the United States, only to find that they were no more healthy than average.
He studied the geography of Roseto, the water supply and the medical care the inhabitants received, comparing them to neighbouring towns where the rates of heart disease were in line with the national average. However none of these explained the health of the people living in Roseto. Dr Wolf concluded that if it was not the diet, geography, genes or quality of healthcare there must be something ‘disease-protective’ about Roseta itself. He concluded that a supportive, tight-knit community was a better predictor of heart health than cholesterol levels or tobacco use. Having a close-knit, supportive community surrounding you helps prevent you from becoming sick, even if you smoke, do little exercise, are overweight and eat a diet high in animal fats. Human beings nourish each other and a loving community relaxes you (J.S. House, K. R. Landis, and D. Umberson, ‘Social Relationships and Health,’ Science 241, no. 4865 (July 29, 1988): 540-45). More recent studies have reinforced Dr Wolf’s findings, demonstrating that chronic loneliness increases the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke, obesity, a more rapid progression of Alzheimer’s disease and a suppression of the immune system. In one study, otherwise healthy college students who confessed to being lonely had a much poorer response to a flu shot than nonlonely college students. Neurodegenerative diseases – and even cancer tumours – can metastasize faster in lonely people. Scientists believe that chronic loneliness poses as large a risk factor for long-term physical health and longevity as cigarette smoking (PLoS Med. 2010 Jul 27;7(7):e1000316. doi: 10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316). Whilst the psychological effects of loneliness can be fairly easy to understand, these physical detrimental effects seem more difficult
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Health & Beauty to explain. The culprit, scientists believe, is the result of too much of the stress hormone cortisol being produced by the body. When too much cortisol is present, the immune system begins to change, and the condition called chronic inflammation can result.
Loneliness tests and blood samples showed that in both groups, the lonelier people had higher levels of inflammation. Dr Jaremka said: "If you're lonely you can have raised inflammation regardless of having a chronic medical condition.
Lonely people release more cortisol. The latest work from Ohio State University looked at levels of inflammation in response to stress in lonely people. Dr Lisa Jaremka compared women who have survived breast cancer with healthy volunteers.
Loneliness can affect us all at some time in our lives and the effect of this can be devastating to our health. Steps to guard against its effects could include joining a local group, getting your friends round for a chat about the meaning of life, getting a pet, meditating and connecting with universal energy – in fact anything that provides you with that feeling of connectedness. Over time, your body will make fewer stress hormones, your body will heal and your health will exponentially improve.
She gave the participants a well-known stress test, called the Trier Social Stress Test, in which they had to give an impromptu speech explaining why they were the best candidate for a job, in front of a stony-faced panel. They then had to perform a mental arithmetic task before the same panel.
To discuss your health and wellbeing with Sarah in confidence, please see her advert on page 13.
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Just for Fun
Have you ever pondered... Can you cry under water? I used to eat a lot of natural foods — until I learned that most people die of natural causes. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. How is it one careless match can start a bushfire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Have you noticed since everyone has a camera on their phone these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of its bottom. '
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him? If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Things to Do
Get yourself hooked on a new hobby “The two best times to fish is when it's rainin' and when it ain't.” Patrick F. McManus Fishing throughout Andalucía is a very popular and varied pastime enjoyed by young and old alike. It can be an inexpensive hobby requiring only a few euros for a cheap rod and reel to get you going, up to hundreds for top of the line — no pun intended — equipment. In Spain, it has become necessary to take a course on the environment (Medio Ambiente) and pass a test before being granted a NIR (Número de Identificación en el Registry Andaluz). Once you have been issued with your number, you then purchase your fishing licence at a cost of between 5 and 12 euros. This is easily done at any local bank or alternatively from the offices of the Delegación Provincial de la Conserjeria de Agricultura y Pesca. If you’re unsure where these are, then a quick trip to your local town hall will point you in the right direction – either way your licence is a ‘must’. If you are caught fishing without one, you can expect hefty fines and even the confiscation of your equipment.
In addition to the rivers and lakes, fishermen and women in Andalucía also have a great selection of coastline from which to choose. The former, for the most part, are man-made reservoirs and are particularly popular. There are many spread throughout the area. Here you can hook yourself a pike, black bass, barbel and even carp, to name just a few. With around 60 such fishing preserves in the regional nature parks of Cazorla, Segura and Las Villas and in Sierra Nevada, you’re never far from a great day’s fishing. There are many forums on the internet dedicated to fishing in Spain, so why not contact a group nearest to you and start a new hobby or get your hooks – pun intended – back into an old hobby again this month?
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Talking Point
A fine place to park Spaniards are parking anarchists and are champions at the art of ‘creative’ parking. They will park on pedestrian crossings, corners, in front of entrances and exits — in fact, almost anywhere it’s illegal. Double parking is commonplace, although triple parking or completely blocking the road is frowned upon. Many streets in Spanish villages and towns are very narrow and cars are invariably parked opposite garages, making access even tighter. If someone blocks your car in a town, they will usually be shopping or working locally. You should ask around the local shops and businesses or ask a parking attendant for help before calling the police. Failing that, leaning on your horn (although illegal) may help. Some people in small villages have been known to leave their cars in neutral and the handbrake off when they double park, so that drivers of other parked cars can move it if necessary — possibly not one to try unless you are fluent in Spanish and you know the owner! Parking in most Spanish towns and cities is a nightmare — a few years ago a survey found that it takes an average of eight minutes to find a (legal) parking space in main towns, although it takes nearly twice as long in large cities. Parking is restricted in all cities and towns and prohibited altogether in certain areas, although it isn’t usually as expensive as in many other European countries. In major towns and cities, it’s wise to park on the outskirts and use public transport. In many small towns and villages, it’s advisable to park on the edge of town and walk to the centre, as many towns are difficult to navigate with narrow and dead-end streets commonplace. Parking regulations vary with the area of a city, the time of day, the day of the week and even whether the date is odd or even. In many
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towns, parking is permitted on one side of the street for the first half of the month, blue and red parking restriction sign marked ‘1-15’, and on the other side for the second half of the month marked ‘16-31’. In one-way streets, parking may be permitted on the side with even house numbers on even-numbered days and on the side with odd numbers on oddnumbered days. Parking should be in the same direction as the traffic flow in one-way streets or on the righthand side of roads with two-way traffic. Some towns have zones where parking is regulated during working hours (horas laborables), when you need a permit covering the period you intend to stay. When buying a property in Spain, it’s important to investigate the parking facilities, as few older Spanish apartment and townhouse developments have underground or lock-up garages, or even adequate off-road parking facilities — particularly in towns. Some cities have on-street resident parking areas, marked with black bands on telephone poles and lampposts. Residents must buy a parking card from the town hall (proof of residence is required) and display it in their windscreen.
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Talking Point On-street parking On-street parking is forbidden in many streets in the centre of main cities. A sign saying ‘estacionamiento prohibido’, sometimes accompanied by a sign with a blue background and a red line through it, means that parking is forbidden. Some no parking signs have a large ‘E’ (for estacionamiento) with a diagonal line through it (any sign with a diagonal line means something is prohibited). No parking may also be indicated by yellow, red or white kerb or road markings. A blue and white curb stone indicates that you can stop briefly, but cannot park. No parking signs also indicate the direction (shown by an arrow) — ie left or right of the sign — where it’s illegal to park. If parking is illegal in both directions, a sign will have two arrows. A tow-away zone is usually shown by a sign of a hoist on the back of a truck and the words ‘retirada grúa’.
indicated by blue street markings with blue ticket machines. Parking must usually be paid for from 9 or 9.30am until 2pm and from around 4pm until 9pm, Monday to Friday, and from 9.30am until 2pm on Saturdays. The maximum stay is usually two hours. Buy a ticket for the period required and place it behind your windscreen where it can be seen by the parking attendant. If you exceed your time and are fined, you can often cancel the fine by paying a penalty (anulación aviso de sanción) — purchased in ticket form from a ticket machine and either ‘posting’ it in a special slot in the ticket machine, displaying it in your car window or giving it to the parking attendant. This must, however, be done within a limited period. Continued on page 38
In many towns, private entrances and garage doors have a ‘no parking’ (prohibido estacionar or vado permanente) sign accompanied by a police permit number enforcing the parking restriction. Parking in front of this sign may mean a fine or that your car can be towed away or clamped. In most Spanish cities, individual parking meters (parquímetros) have been replaced by ticket machines (expendedor de tickets de estacionamiento) sited every few dozen metres where parking is restricted, eg in areas designated as ‘blue zones’ (zonas azules),
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Talking Point
In some towns, an ORA or OTA ZONA system is operated (look out for ‘ORA ZONA’ or ‘OTA’ signs), whereby parking tickets for 30, 60 and 90 minutes are sold by tobacconists (estancos) and other shops. You punch holes in the ticket indicating the date and time you parked and display it in your car window. Some towns operate a monthly card system (eg multi-parking in Málaga). Residents qualify for discounted on-street parking in ‘blue zones’ in some towns. You need to register as resident in the municipality and register your car with the local council. You’re given a residents’ parking card, which you must display in your windscreen. Cards are usually valid for a one or three-month period. In some cities, you may encounter unofficial parking ‘attendants’ who will demand a fee to ‘look after’ your car. This may simply be a protection racket and, if you refuse to pay, they may damage your car. However, they usually only want around €1 and although, there’s no guarantee that your car will be safe, it may reduce the risk of having it broken into. In some areas (e.g. outside Gibraltar), there are parking touts, who demand a parking fee and take your money and run. Official parking attendants (guardacoches) are usually uniformed. Car parks There are off-road car parks in cities and towns, although these are rarely adequate. Car parks were obliged to introduce parking rates charged by the minute (rather than the hour). Some car parks also charge an entrance fee. Spaces available in a multi-storey or underground car park (aparcamiento subterráneo) are indicated by a ‘free’ (libre) sign at the entrance, while ‘completo’ indicates that it’s full. If you park in a multi-storey car park, make a note of the level and space number where you leave your car (it can take a long time to find your car if you have no idea where to start looking!).
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On entering most car parks, you take a ticket from an automatic dispenser, usually by pressing a button. You must usually pay before collecting your car, at a cash desk (cajero) or via a machine. You cannot usually pay at the exit. After paying, you usually have around 15 minutes to find the exit, where you insert your ticket in the slot of the exit machine in the direction shown by the arrow on the ticket. Many multi-storey car parks have video security. Fines Parking fines (multas) have skyrocketed in recent years and previously free parking zones are changed almost overnight without warning (or streets become temporary ‘no-parking’ zones after you’ve parked there!)
Many town halls have allegedly targeted motorists as a way of buying their way out of bankruptcy, particularly through extortionate
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Talking Point
parking fines. In Málaga alone, with unsuspecting tourists often the victims, a fine of €100 (less 20 per cent for prompt payment) is common for a minor parking infringement, which is astronomical considering the relatively low cost of living in Spain, and fines may be drastically increased if you don’t pay within the proscribed period (residents are allowed 15 days to pay or formally protest a fine). A large number of cars are towed away in Spain, particularly as most Spaniards don’t pay parking fines (in Madrid only a fraction of parking fines are paid). If your car has been towed away, there may be an adhesive sticker by the side of the road indicating this. Non-residents must first pay the fine (in cash) before paying the towing (grúa) charge, usually at two different places. You will need to ask a policeman or parking warden where the car pound is.
Despite what car you drive or what you may see in your own village, remember that it is always forbidden to park or remain stationary (parada) in the following circumstances: • On motorways or toll roads • In places where the vehicle blocks visibility or the passage of other vehicles • In lanes reserved for the use of bicycles or public transport • On pedestrian crossings • In zones designated for loading and unloading (carga y descarga) • In front of a correctly marked “vado permanente” sign • In spaces reserved for disabled drivers
Wheel clamps (cepos) have been introduced in recent years in some cities. When they were first used in Madrid they almost caused a riot and many motorists attacked them with sledgehammers! They aren’t, however, used to prevent illegal parking in private parking areas or on private land, as in some other countries.
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Alice’s Wonderland
Funerals and flowers Hello, it’s me Alice, again. January turned out to be quite an upsetting month, as I had to say goodbye to my boyfriend’s grandmother, Saturnina, who I was very close to. She died aged 81, in her home, surrounded by all her family and some friends, which is always nicer I think. The odd thing about Spain is that they often hold the funeral on the day after the death of a loved one, so there’s not much time to arrange things or get everyone to the village. In Satu’s case, many of her family were told to expect the bad news within a few days so I guess in those circumstances, arrangements could be made as much as possible before the inevitable happens. Satu’s funeral was on the strangest day of the month. It began with a beautiful morning and as the day went on, it started to get cloudy and rain. We even had some snow at one point! As people say, the funeral was very nicely done — it was just a shame that it was for such an upsetting thing. Mind you, I’m glad you never hear of a badly done funeral! It wasn’t my first attendance at such an event but it was very
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interesting to see how things work here, from the moment Chris’s mum had to phone the doctor to say she had passed to the month of grieving that starts from the day of the bereavement. As if the month couldn’t get any more depressing, we received the upsetting news that my dog Toffee’s breast cancer is getting worse. She’s a 10-year-old German Shepherd, and sadly she’s been diagnosed for a while, but now she’s getting very skinny and tiredlooking. Luckily, she’s not in pain but the vet has given us some pills if she looks like she is bothered. Toffee spends most of the time getting up and down to be let in and out of the house — which drives Dad mad when the fire’s going – plus she’ll run at great speed after a stone. She’s been addicted to stones since she was a pup – cheaper than keeping on losing balls in the field I guess!
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Alice’s Wonderland As for our other pets, Tommy, the fat white and ginger cat, has decided to move into my room for his bedtime although he wakes me up daily any time between 4am and 6am, just for me to open the door for him. Mum said to leave the door open but he then is so stupid he pushes it shut and meows (squeaks actually) for me to let him out! On the nights when I stay over at someone else’s house he gets really grumpy and head butts my door to try and open it, or he’ll just sit there and cry until Mum or Dad – normally Mum – have to let him in. We’ve had Tommy’s mother, Persy (Becky’s spelling!), visiting my house a lot recently since my sister has been in Cadiz for New Year and to visit her friend Maria Luisa – or Mona Lisa, as Mum calls her, because she has the most fantastic smile.
Soon it will be February 14 — the day of love. Each year my college has a small stall where you can buy a rose or lots of them, and get them sent to the girl/boy you want to receive them. This year Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday so luckily I get to spend the day with my boyfriend; not sure what he’ll do without the reminder of the college stall… we’ll see! Love, Alice
My cousin Shannon went to England for her birthday and for some time with her friends and family. It was very quiet without her and it is good to have her back now. A friend of hers also came for a holiday. His name is Reece and he must have liked it over here because he might be coming back for a weekend now and then.
As February arrived so did the sun. It has been windy but very sunny. And it always makes me feel happy when I can feel that spring is on its way. What I love at the moment is walking to the school bus stop and not having to use the flash on my phone to see where I am going!
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Things to Do
Let the party begin In Spain, the carnival season takes place in late February or early March, usually during the week leading up to Lent. Regions across Spain organise carnivals and fiestas, most involving music and dancing. Spaniards dress in colourful, traditional costumes and take to the streets to celebrate the season. The Spaniards have organised carnivals since medieval times, although during his dictatorship, General Franco outlawed these events for 40 years, starting in 1938. Each city and region of Spain has a different style of carnival with its own individual atmosphere and ambiance, and it worth checking the different websites of your town halls for exact dates and details.
particularly on the first Saturday of the festival! The choir carousels, which are held on the carnival holidays around the market square, are especially entertaining. The choirs sing on floats and display their dancing skills to the thousands of people who pack out the squares. Do not miss them, and take the opportunity to sample the delicious home-grown products in the bars nearby. www.cadizturismo.com/ eventos/carnaval-de-cadiz The parades are also spectacular, full of colour and joy. More than 100,000 people line the parade route as groups with different costumes pass through; ensuring that the spectator plays an active role in the fiesta!
Carnival is celebrated throughout Andalucia, filling many towns with celebrations, colour and flair. The establishment of this festivity in Andalucian towns is shown through the entertaining float parades, dancing, costume competitions and carnival groups which take to the streets. All of the celebrations are popular and very enjoyable but in view of the spectacular nature of other carnivals, the fun, entertaining image of the Cádiz Carnival (see our front cover) makes it a unique fiesta which is well worth experiencing. It is probably the carnival with the most character in the world. In Cádiz, costume is the real carnival king; it is almost obligatory to wear a costume,
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The competition which most captures the people of Cádiz – the groups competition for choirs, comparsas, chirigotas and quartets – takes place in the Gran Teatro Falla. All the groups must include a presentation and two cuplés (songs with a funny and catchy chorus) in their repertoire. With the exception of the quartets, which include a parody, all of the groups end their performance with a medley. For the chirigotas, the cuplés are most important while for the comparsas, it is the paso dobles. The choirs have tangos instead of paso dobles as these are their strong point. Every year, one or two choruses feature prominently and are sung by everyone during the festivities, as the competition takes place in the lead-up to the Carnivals. Along with the Pregón (announcement) the final is what
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Things to Do
sounds the starting pistol for the real CĂĄdiz carnival, the one that takes place in the street. It is then that the people of CĂĄdiz pour into the streets and mingle with the thousands of visitors who come to the city, full of enthusiasm for one of the most famous carnivals in the world.
A week of partying, entertainment and laughter makes any carnival an event that you do not want to miss!
Humour, emotion and reputation are factors that make the fiesta so attractive to the most diverse range of people, who crowd together in the streets, particularly in the La ViĂąa district which undergoes the most stunning transformations during the festivities.
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Spotlight
Stay warm this winter Despite enjoying the unseasonal warm daytime weather we are having at the moment, we cannot anticipate the same enjoyment for the colder evenings which follow. Many people — myself included — are thinking about ways to not only keep the house warm, but also how to save a few euros while doing so. The projected tab for heating a four-bedroomed Spanish home this winter is approximately €1860 (over four months). That’s not small change! It’s not always easy to keep a home warm if it’s older and doesn’t have very good insulation, though. In our house, keeping the downstairs warm is a tall task but by utilising some of the tips below, we find that that we not only save money, but stay warm and comfortable all winter long. Instal a programmable thermostat. If you have the type of heating that allows a thermostat, this will keep your bill low and your efficiency high. Instead of having to manually fiddle with your thermostat every time you leave the house or come back home, you should programme it for the following temps/times during the week if your house is empty during the day. It is also recommended to set the thermostat to 55 degrees when you go on holiday for a few days or more. • 6am to 9am = 68 degrees • 9am to 5.30pm = 60 degrees • 5.30pm to 11pm = 68 degrees • 11pm to 6am = 60 degrees If the night-time recommendation seems a little chilly, adjust accordingly to a temperature you find comfortable. Keep in mind, though, that research has recently shown that cooler temps — say in the mid-60s vs upper-60s/low-70s — promote better sleep, and may even increase your metabolism.
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Let sunlight in during the day. Once the sun is up, you want to capture as much of that free heat as possible. Even on cold days, the sun is still warm. So before you leave the house for the day, open up curtains and let the sunlight shine in. If there are certain parts of the house that don’t get sunlight, leave the curtains closed. Keep curtains closed at night. Once the sun goes down, keep all that heat from leaving by closing the blinds and curtains. If you’re in a particularly cold home or geographic area, consider getting insulated curtains for winter use. They’ll prevent some of the warmth in your home from escaping. You can also put up temporary curtains – or even sheets, rugs, etc – over doors to the outside, even if just at night while you’re sleeping. Mind your woodburning fireplaces. While they’re romantic on a chilly evening, a ‘real’ fire is terribly inefficient for the rest of your home. It’s warm and toasty right by the roaring flames, but for all that heat being given out from the fireplace, cold air is being pulled into the house elsewhere; this is due to a physics principle called the stack effect – more on that below. You don’t want to put the damper on idyllic evenings spent in front of crackling logs altogether, so when you do have a fire, just be sure to buy/use a glass front for your fireplace, which prevents the heated air in your home from escaping up the chimney once the flames have gone out.
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Spotlight Beyond that, remember to keep the flue closed when the fireplace isn’t in use. Failing to do so is like having an open window in your room, letting warm air out and cold air in. Take a look at your ceiling fans. If you have ceiling fans in your home, they may be sitting needlessly dormant during the winter months. Many fans have a “winter” setting, which reverses the fan so that it moves clockwise vs. counterclockwise. Since heat rises, the clockwise-spinning fan will push the heat back down into your rooms, instead of trapping it at ceiling height. This is especially recommended if you have high or sloping ceilings. Some experts are not convinced of the efficacy of doing this, as the fan may just cool the air too much, but try it out on a low speed and see if it warms the room. In my experience from harsh Andalucian winters of old, it definitely works. Mitigate the “stack effect.” The stack effect is the movement of air in and out of homes and other buildings, essentially creating large-scale chimneys. The rising warm air in a home will pull in cool air from the outside through any gap it can find. This creates negative pressure in lower levels, acting like a suction cup because that warm escaping air needs to be replaced. This pulls cool air in and obviously chills the home. The effect is magnified in taller homes – more air rising to greater heights, so more cool air is being pulled in – so be extra aware of the stack effect if you live in a multiple-storey home or even a draughty one-floor dwelling! To combat this, you obviously want to seal those gaps. The most common offenders are doors and windows. To test this out, you can light a candle and carry it with you throughout the house, holding it close to the doors and windows. When you hold it still and it flickers, you have a possible gap. Hold your hand out to test it and you’ll often feel cold air. It may seem like a small and unimportant leak, but it can definitely make a big difference – especially when these leaks are multiplied around the house.
For doors, you can try making a “door snake.” My grandma used to make hers from chopping off a leg from my grandad’s well-worn trousers and stuffing the limbless tube with her leftover tights; obviously the whole creation was beautified with some old colourful rag bows at the end! They can be inconvenient, though, if the door is frequently used. You can also buy those furry-looking door sweeps that seal the gaps at the bottom; get them from most local DIY or local Todo shops. For gaps on the sides and top of the door, as well as window gaps, use weather stripping to negate the stack effect. Seal other leaks, too. There can be air leaks in your home beyond windows and doors. Think attics if you have one, or even kitchen hood or bathroom vents. Take a look at the handy guide from www.energystar.gov to find those leaks and seal them. Hint: caulking can be your best friend. Keep certain rooms toasty warm by closing doors. If you spend a lot of time in certain rooms, you can close doors and create a little sauna. I do this with my office, and it works like a charm. I simply leave the door closed at night and let the heating run as normal; since there aren’t as many gaps for heat to escape, it’s nice and warm in the morning. At times, it even gets too warm.
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Spotlight If you have big, open spaces you can use room dividers; it may not seem like much, but any blockage that slows down the escape of air will help keep things warmer.
They’re far better at trapping heat than your cold floors. Add a rug or roll of carpet to your floor in the winter, and you’ll notice a difference in cosiness.
You can also close doors to rooms that aren’t frequently used in your home — just make sure you also close the vents in those rooms too. This reduces the square footage to be heated, and the warm air will spread more easily and quickly through the house. As a bonus, this will save a little bit on your heating bill, too. Just make sure you don’t make the mistake I did and stick your in-laws in the guest bedroom without first letting it heat back up for a day or two!
If you have radiators… The first thing you can do is put tinfoil on the back of the radiator. This will reflect heat back into the room(s), instead of it just floating up to the ceiling. There is special reflective radiator foil, but the kitchen variety will work just as well. The second thing you can do is put up a shelf or table over the radiator (never on it) as this will act to trap the heat and let it spread more evenly through the room.
Utilise space heaters, but with caution. Space heaters are excellent tools for keeping individual rooms warm. The danger is that they are a high-risk fire hazard – especially compared to other tips listed here. In fact, they account for one-third of all heating-related house fires. To ensure the safety of your household, keep any flammable material at least three feet away, and make sure the heater is on an even and stable surface. Never leave space heaters on overnight or when you leave the home; there are timed space heaters that turn off after 1-4 hours which are a better option than entirely manually-operated ones. Additionally, it’s a good idea to only use space heaters that shut off automatically when tipped over. Use the oven. Baking, convecting and grilling things will keep your house warmer, especially in rooms nearest the kitchen. Don’t be afraid to roast a chicken or bake a ton of casseroles when the temperatures dip! Add layers to your floors. According to the National Energy Foundation, uninsulated wood or tiled floors can account for up to 10 per cent of a home’s heat loss. Carpets and rugs were created for a reason — to keep rooms warmer.
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Ultimately, keep the person warm instead of the house. In doing research for this article, I came across one mantra over and over again: it’s more about keeping the person warm versus the entirety of the house. The house doesn’t really care if it’s a little chilly, but you care if you’re cold. So throw on hoodies and sweaters, get a warm robe, sip on hot coffee or tea all day and break out the thick blankets and bed sheets; do whatever you need to do to stay warm and comfortable. Being comfortable is key — you don’t want the thermostat so low that you have to wear a coat in your own home. In all likelihood, you can probably handle the thermostat being a couple degrees lower if you take some of these measures. Roll on the warm weather once more! From September 2015, UK expats in Spain will no longer receive their winter fuel allowances. If you are an expat, remember to show your support against the plans to stop the allowance by electronically signing the petition at http://epetitions.direct. gov.uk/petitions/73368 — you need to do this by the end of March this year. .
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