Editor’s Slice Hello
I love this time of year when Spring starts to take hold of Andalucía… the fields come to life, the wild flowers start to bloom as the weather warms up… even if it is only for a few days at a time before the cold winds start again. You can feel the newness in the air. Well, here at The Andalucían we have many new things for you again this month. With the introduction of our QR code (see below) for easy scanning with your mobile phones we are starting to embrace new ways for our readers and advertisers to stay in touch with us. We are busy working behind the scenes on all sorts of new and exciting offers and social media marketing. Our new website is currently under way but more on that next month. On a number of occasions we have been asked to include more puzzles and to print in a larger font — well, I am happy to say that both of these are now going to be common practice from here on. Next month, I will be introducing you to even more changes we are making. Our amazing advertising offer is currently running — we have never offered such a saving — see page 18 for more details.
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www.facebook.com/theandalucian The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n, Campillos 29320, Malaga Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott 2
Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alice Marriott Ella Durham Heather Jones Sarah Jackson Tricia Johnson
Deadline: 11th of each month We won’t be beaten on advertising prices
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spotlight
A healthier way of reading It was almost this time last year when we introduced a new local author to you – Patrick Darnbrough – and his first title ‘Quit smoking: my way, the slow way.’ However, it was children’s fiction which originally enticed Patrick to pick up the pen and it is this genre to which he has returned – not with one book but with three additions since we last featured him. With two fiction titles out last year he has also found the time to write two non-fiction children’s books. The latest… Duky Spuds. Duky Spuds is a book to help teach children all about the popular vegetables and fruit of today. The book is a delight for parents too as the wonderful photographs assist little ones to not only recognise fruit and veg, but also learn the names and how to pronounce them correctly. It is an excellent companion for all parents and grandparents who are looking for a great educational read during a child’s formative years. Duky Spuds is ideal to help children prepare for pre-school or kindergarten and hopefully, get ahead of the rest of the class and start to look with interest at a healthier way of living from an early age.
In his own words… “Can you believe a player with the dribbling skills of Best, the heading and the overhead kick of Law, and the ferocious shooting ability of Charlton? Well that was me at the age of 16 before I was cut down in my young prime at 17 with a cruel tackle which dislocated my hip joint. Don't get me wrong, it was an accident but I want to share my thoughts and how I acquired my ability as a player for the future. Good luck and hope you enjoy the book.”
Patrick’s first non-fiction helping for children was also aimed at a healthier lifestyle… The Football-Soccer Bible.
Patrick was born in Dublin, Eire, one of 12 children ─ six of each sex. He has lived in five different countries including the UK, Australia and now Spain. A self-confessed humanologist, he also studied accountancy in Sydney and then went on to become a pub licensee with Grand Met. Patrick is also a singer and songwriter, and plays many instruments including piano, keyboard and guitar. With his wife Linda, Patrick moved to Spain in 2003 and has lived in Andalucía ever since.
Wanting to make a difference to the young footballers of today who have aspirations of becoming professionals, Patrick wrote this book to assist ordinary young players become brilliant ones. In his bid to inspire the next generation of young players to become better, Patrick has studied the golden trio of past Manchester United legends between the years 1963 to 1967… Denis Law, George Best and Bobby Charlton. He explored how they fast became a force to be reckoned with.
The Football-Soccer Bible and Duky Spuds are both available to purchase on Amazon.com
Next month read all about Patrick’s fiction titles.
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Things to Do
Toasting the olive oil harvest with Orodeal The friendly town of Algarinejo sits halfway between Rute and Montefrio. It’s here that the locals are getting ready for a huge party to celebrate the end of their olive harvest. The festivities are being held on Sunday May 10 and you are all invited! This ‘Day of the Olive’ is set to be a wonderful way to rejoice the reaping of the fruit whose healthy oil is often compared to wine — different groves offering distinctive tastes to the assortment of various oil products made. This comparison to a fine wine is even more apt in Algarinejo. With its wonderful weather
and lush groves packed with diverse tree varieties, these Granada-based growers produce one of the most special coldpressed extra virgin oils in Andalucía. The name of their liquid gold… Orodeal. Starting at noon in the plaza, there will be free sampling of Orodeal, and what party would be complete without a bar! But before you start on your tapas and copas crawl, make sure you have a wander around and see the artisan market with the handmade jewellery stall, ceramic handcrafts and the photo exhibition by Pedro Hidalgo, who shares his take on the rural world of Algarinejo with us via the power of his lens. All manner of Spanish food will be showcased, including honey from Palancer, local cheese, sausage and jamón products — you can try them all. All the participating bars will be offering free tapas — all dishes will be made using the distinctive sunshine yellow-bottled Orodeal olive oil. Some of last year’s favourites included the pork confit with honey and a popular crunchy gazpacho croquette. Are you craving some of your favourite British foods? Then don’t miss a visit to the stall of The British Grocer (Loja based) Paul Moxom, who will be bringing a variety of goodies ranging from English cheeses, Branston pickle and Marmite to the baked British treats of pies, pasties and sausage rolls – even Somerset cider too.
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Things To Do This year, the party organisers are delighted to announce that the G.Par Refuge is attending the festivities. Not only will this hard-working Rute-based charity for stray and abandoned dogs be selling high quality nearly new goods, it is also hosting its ‘most beautiful dog’ photo competition. There are four categories in which you can enter your photos: Most beautiful large dog (1) and bitch (2) Most beautiful small dog (3) and bitch (4) The competition is now open — so please email your doggy photo directly to g.par. refuge@gmail.com — remember beauty is in the eye of the beholder! The top 12 will be chosen to be exhibited on the day of the olive and, of course, there are prizes to be had for the winning pooch pics. Olive oil is a fantastic supplement for a canine diet, just as it is for our own. Did you know that just a tablespoon of olive oil once a week on your dog’s food can do much more than just help give them a shinier coat? It can boost your pet’s immune system and assist with weight loss. The benefits of just adding such a small weekly dose are substantial for your dog’s health and wellbeing.
The examination of this year’s crop is already in full swing and a serious tasting (cata) of different types of olive oil is taking place. Local radio is participating with this event to record people’s opinions and organisers are looking for 10 expat volunteers to get involved. If you are interested, please email ian.melissa@btinternet.com for more details. There will be so many more things to do and see at the party, including a poster exhibition by local schoolchildren, and lots of goodies to buy including fruit trees, flowering shrubs and potted plants plus, of course, Orodeal olive oil! So pop along and join in the celebration in Algarinejo this May. For more details see page 13.
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Health & Beauty
Fit as
a Fiver It has become a great passion of mine over the last three years to be a Fiver. Looking back now, on the day the Scottish team asked me to join the ranks of motivational leaders, I laughed and laughed and laughed – so unfit I was! And yet, 1,000 days afterwards – still not slim but fitter than I have ever been – it is a true pleasure to be part of such a great international event and motivator of the 5x50 Andalusia and beyond team. Each and every member joins the challenge – trying to run, walk, swim and exercise 5 km a day, 50 days in a row – for different reasons. Some would like to shed a few pounds, such as amazing Fiver David Nicoll
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who just got featured in the Sunday Mail http://ow.ly/K4FtA, while others would just like to regain some of the vitality of their youth. Runners may want to improve their personal bests and power walkers, such as incredible fiver Mags, can’t have enough of it – check out her very inspirational page on https://www.facebook.com/walkoflife.md The challenge starts on March 29, and it is time to get prepared for the Start line.
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Continued on page 8
Talking Point
Health & Beauty First and foremost, ANYONE can take on the 5×50 Challenge, thanks to the five choices for 50 days of activity: A – Individual/Team/School complete 5k distance by walking, jogging, running, cycling, rowing, etc every day for 50 days B – Individual/Team/School complete a minimum 30 minutes of activity/exercise, including the above with addition of yoga, weight training, exercise class, etc every day for 50 days C – You and another split the challenge to cover 5k for 25 days, thus covering 50 days of activity between two individuals
This is a great motivational accessory, and has been trending among all registered participants, along with the new tee-shirt. Orange is the new black, so register on www.5x50.org, 5x50 Andalusia and beyond team (Join us on Facebook https://www. facebook.com/5x50LasSalinas?fref=ts) and it will be my pleasure to welcome you onboard and send you one! Still need another incentive to join? Don’t wait any longer and register to be in with a chance to win a one-to-one induction session (live or Skype) with Darryl Stone, personal trainer and co-founder of Club One Hundred http://www.clubonehundred.com
D – Groups of five cover 1k per day for 50 days by walking, jogging, running, cycling, rowing, swimming, etc E – Individual building from five to 50 minutes of activity by the end of the 50-day challenge Simples! For that little extra bit of motivation, the team is offering the 5x50 bracelet to all participants.
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Things to Do
Bites & business dinners Following their foundation in October last year, the network dinners of Bites & Business Málaga are a great success. Around 20 ladies who live and work in – or close to – the city of Málaga have got to know new, inspiring women of different nationalities. The atmosphere so far has been wonderful, positive and relaxed, and all the ladies want to come back. The goal is to extend the number of different nationalities to become as diverse as the Costa del Sol itself. In Málaga city, co-ordinators Joyce van Ombergen-Jong (Joy-Ce.com) and Else Beekman (InSpanje.nl) organize the Bites & Business dinners.
What is the Bites & Business network formula? • A dinner every six to eight weeks on a different weekday for working women (employed or self-employed) • Every dinner will take place in a different restaurant in the city of Málaga • Price per dinner is 25€. This includes food, drinks and organisational costs • As the idea of B&B is to give participants time to connect, network and exchange ideas by using the Envelope Method©, there is no speaker or theme. • You will know beforehand who is coming and what their profession is through a list of all participants which you will receive a day in advance. • The common language is English! • There is no membership fee What is the Envelope Method©? The Envelope Method is a simple form of crowd sourcing. Every participant will find an envelope on her plate. On that envelope she writes down a question, asks for a tip or a solution to a problem she is facing.
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Things to Do The envelope passes along to every other participant at the table. All ladies write down – if possible – answers, tips, contacts or suggestions. At the end, everyone goes home with an envelope filled with useful information. Dutch entrepreneur Marijke Krabbenbos founded Bites & Business (B&B) seven years ago in Amsterdam. Her formula became so successful that Bites & Business nowadays is present in more than 20 Dutch cities. This inspired Krabbenbos to move her formula abroad, and the first city outside The Netherlands is Málaga. Want to join? The next dinner will be on Wednesday May 13 at a venue to be confirmed.
For more information and to register please visit www.bitesenbusiness.nl/ international-2/malaga, send an email to malaga@bitesenbusiness.nl or call Joyce on +34 663157784 or Else on +34 645470740. Connect to www.facebook.com/ elsejoycemalaga so we can add you to the Bites & Business Málaga Facebook group. The maximum amount of participants at each dinner is 30, so please register as soon as possible.
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Things to Do
Chocolate olive oil cake This is a great recipe for a very tasty chocolate cake with all the goodness of olive oil — a low fat chocolate cake that’s good for you! Don’t forget to pick up some Orodeal oil at The Day of the Olive (see opposite). Ingredients 150ml olive oil 50gms good quality cocoa powder (sifted) 125ml boiling water 125gms plain flour 2 tsps vanilla extract ½ tsp bicarbonate of soda 1 pinch salt 200gms caster sugar 3 large eggs
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Method 1 Preheat oven to 170C/gas 3/325F 2 Grease and line 22cms tin 3 Whisk sifted cocoa powder into the boiling water until smooth 4 Add vanilla extract 5 Combine the flour with the bicarb and salt 6 Place the sugar, olive oil and eggs in a bowl and whisk vigorously 7 Add the cocoa mixture and continue to whisk; once the mixture is a creamy texture, mix in the flour 8 Bake for 40/45 minutes This versatile cake can be enjoyed as either a delicious cold or warm treat.
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Just for Fun
Twenty teasers - mixed bag of mind-blowing questions 1. What did Christopher Cockerill invent in 1955? 2. What is the capital city of Australia? 3. Who is the only British Prime Minister to have been assassinated? 4. The first section of railway track in Britain ran between which two places? 5. What colour is the Northern Line on the London underground? 6. Who was the oldest man in the bible? 7. Which is the largest species of Tiger?
8. In computing what is RAM short for? 9. Which organ secretes insulin? 10. Who was the first actor to refuse an Oscar? 11. How many episodes of Fawlty Towers were made? 12. What name is given to a cross fruit of tangerines and grapefruits? 13. What do the dots on a pair of dice add up to? 14. How high is a basketball hoop? 15. In photography what does SLR stand for? 16. What is the motto of the SAS? 17. In which year was the first FA Cup final held at Wembley? 18. How many years did Nelson Mandela spend in prison? 19. What is the largest bone in the human body? 20. Which country is reputed to have the world's oldest flag design? See page 47 for answers.
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Tumobilhome Spain S.L. is an English-owned and run company and is now Spain’s largest dealer of pre-owned residential spec mobile homes as well as being manufacturers of new mobile homes. We buy, sell, transport and store residential specification mobile homes throughout Spain and Portugal. We have a main sales base in Madrid and we work all over the Iberian peninsula, the Balearics and the Canary Islands. We specialise in helping vendors who have been unable to sell due to difficult market conditions, and circumstances now dictate they must bring the sale of their unit to a successful conclusion. We offer free legal advice to inform vendors of their rights here in Spain with our own in-house lawyer. Clients who are having difficulties with site owners and unreasonable rental contracts can then make a more informed choice. Regrettably, some of the site owners we have dealt with in the past have taken advantage of the vendors’ inability to speak the language (we are Spanish
speakers) and a lack of understanding of the law. We are here to redress that balance and help. We can arrange all aspects of mobile home purchase and sales such as the removal, disconnection, plot preparation and/or clearance and furniture removal both locally and internationally. Many of our vendors sell their mobile home and move to the local village, paying the same or less in rent than their ground fees were. They then put the proceeds of the sale into the bank. We have a fully legal and insured team of contractors. When we buy a mobile home we pay for it before it is removed. We can pay in cash or by bank transfer to a bank account in Spain or overseas. We can negotiate on your behalf with the campsite if you are overseas or feel intimidated by the site owner. So, don’t just hand in the keys at reception and walk away – call us!
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Talking Point
Habitation Licence is needed when selling a property
by Creative Property Marketing
Anyone currently involved in selling a property in Andalucía will realise that there are many ‘hoops to jump through’ before completing a sale. Creative Property Marketing brings you the truth behind today’s requirement to have a habitation licence in order to sell your country home or modern property on a new urbanisation. The information is in summary and without the ‘jargon’… New guidance was issued by the Colegio de Abogados (College of Lawyers) and a
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new law passed in 2012 by the Andalucian regional government. It was aimed at providing a solution for country properties that did not have a Licencia de Primera Occupación (First Occupation Licence). This legal guidance and change in the law was created in order to give owners of properties the ability to obtain formal approval from the local town hall, in the form of a document, that accepts the existence of their property and therefore allows it to be sold.
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Talking Point The new law simply pushed the responsibility for the existence of homes back to the town halls and required them to ‘sign on the dotted line’ to admit they allowed the construction within their municipality. Of course, it is not as straight forward as it sounds because this is AndalucĂa and nothing is ever simple. There are numerous situations that create complications. These include:
to explain what you require or in a more extreme case, the town hall architect may even insist on visiting your property before signing.
The issuing of habitation certificates. Each town hall calls the habitation documents by a different name or by no name at all! Some town halls will have a standard form for property owners to complete and a time frame within which the document can be collected. However, other town halls will be less organised and you may struggle
The worst case scenarios are that a town hall refuses to produce the document (often the town halls that have the most to hide) or it cannot issue a habitation certificate for your specific property because your home is outside the law and it will not state that it can be inhabited. Continued on page 18
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Talking Point What is clear, however, is that all lawyers purchasing a property for their clients nowadays (with a few exceptions), will insist on seeing some form of habitation licence before they will purchase. If the property has been built or reformed since 1975, or is a more modern property built since 2000 (on a new urbanisation for example), the buyer’s lawyer will want a ‘get out of gaol free’ card, should he/she accidently purchase a property for their client that subsequently turns out to have been illegally built. The habitation certificate effectively diverts the responsibility away from the lawyer and falls on the town hall which produced the document. Licences of First Occupation (LFOs) are a relatively new document and they complete the pack of documents issued by town halls when a property is newly constructed with all the required licences. They first appeared during the boom years of the 2000s, but thousands of homes were ‘irregularly’ constructed in Andalucía and therefore, built and sold/purchased without the issue of an LFO. So, conveyancing lawyers today will ask for an LFO or a replacement document as standard, in order to cover both themselves and their clients.
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Just to make life a little more challenging, the replacement habitation documents have a ‘shelf life’ of three months. However, don’t let this put you off applying for the document before you find a buyer for your property. These documents can take months to obtain from some town halls and it will always be easier for the town hall architect to re-stamp an already-issued habitation licence rather than start from scratch. This is a very complex subject squeezed into a short article but we hope we have, at least, uncovered the mystery behind LFOs/ Habitation Certificates and answered more questions than we have raised. If you are uncomfortable in obtaining your habitation licence yourself and have a good conveyancing lawyer, they should be able to obtain it for you. From experience, however, we have found that most town halls want to help their constituents – especially as we approach elections! We provide our sellers with an overview every month containing articles like this and much more. See our advert on the back cover of the magazine.
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Short Story
Trendsetting
by Ella Durham
It’s raining today. Perhaps it’s just a shower. Standing here at the window, I stare into the distance, dreaming of warmer weather as the raindrops run down the glass on their way to nowhere. It doesn’t feel like Spring has sprung yet. My bare shoulders feel too cool. I’m a bit bored. I’ve lost track of how long I’ve been standing here wishing for something new, something interesting to happen in the street outside, but it rarely does. It’s just the same old faces doing the same old things; mums hurrying along with toddlers in pushchairs, friends chatting at the bus stop, drivers caught parked on yellow lines trying to convince the traffic warden they were only going to
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be a minute in that shop across the way, or youths dodging off school – eyes down, scanning their phone screens with no words spoken between them. ‘Why don’t they look up and enjoy the kaleidoscope of life which is all around them while they have the chance?’ I ask myself.
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Continued on page 22
Short Story I would love to feel the sun on my face instead of being holed up in here. My reflection in the glass shows how pale I am; how cracked and dry my lips have become from all that horrid air-conditioning. It never does a girl’s complexion much good. My scalp itches. Being a redhead doesn’t suit me and makes my alabaster-smooth complexion look quite deathly. Maybe I can go blonde next week. Still, it’s no good moping I suppose. There are worse things to be – I could have been bright ginger! I try to smile. Life could be worse. At least while I’m here I get to try on all the latest fashions – some cool, some ridiculous – but I always know what’s trending and I try to look my best. You never know who could be watching.
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The seasons come and go and the fashions change with them; so do I. Despite the rain today, I look pretty fetching in a sporty set of purple capri pants and matching off-theshoulder crepe swing top – lilac and lime stripes are really ‘in’ this Spring it seems. Looks really fresh after all those winter weeks being stuffed inside woollen knee-length jumpers and thick leggings underneath my Inuit fur lined hoody. I suppose I didn’t really need the gold sun shades perched on top of my head today but you never know, the sun may come out again later and then I’ll be ready. And don’t you just love these ankle shoe boots in silver? I’m sure I heard someone say that Keira Knightley wore the very same pair to the Paris Fashion Week. She must have seen me wearing mine! Oh, what’s this? I hear someone coming through the door. Better put on my best face.
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Short Story “Ah there you are, my favourite dolly bird!” I recognise that voice… Derek! And who’s he calling a dolly bird? He knows I hate being called that; it sounds so… sexist. But I stay quiet and continue to look out of the window. I can give a cold shoulder when I need to, you know. Derek doesn’t seem to notice I’m not speaking to him. After all, he was the one who made me wear that awful camouflage dungaree outfit with Doc Martens and the khaki baseball cap last November. I ask you, me? On parade? No, just not my scene, dear. I haven’t forgiven him yet and I think he knows it. He sidles up to me and brushes my bare neck with his fingers. I remain cool. “Just thought you looked a bit too chilly out here on your own today. Let’s get you wrapped up warm. Here, try this fabulous cream gabardine coat for size. It’ll look great on you. Just right for grey days and downpours. Like it?”
If you have enjoyed Ella’s short story, why not read her latest novel, Ebony Blood? You can order either the e-book or paperback version though Ella’s website: www.elladurham.co.uk
Get more info on Ella Durham at: www.facebook.com/elladurhamauthor @LornaElla www.elladurham.co.uk
Derek slips the coat round my shoulders and ties the belt. I don’t object. Feels nice actually. He removes my sunglasses. Well, they don’t really go with a raincoat, do they? “There! All set for the new season. Soft spring lines but with April showers. You look great. Just hope the boss thinks so when he sees my window display.” Derek smiles and gives my bum a cheeky slap. He arranges the yellow plastic chicks, green plastic turf and daffodils in pots around my feet before leaving me alone in the window once more. It’s not a bad life being a mannequin. As I said, at least I get to wear the best fashions for free.
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Legal Advice
Joint property ownership in Spain
by De Cotta Law
Declaring joint ownership or bringing it to an end This may sound confusing but if you are a joint owner with your spouse, civil partner or a friend it is important to consider the obligations and tax implications if you sell or inherit half of the property. Equally, some married couples or partners were advised to put the property in one name but now find that their spouse or partner can have a higher-than-expected inheritance tax bill. Also, a person may own Spanish property in their own name and wish to transfer half to a new spouse or partner.
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Ending co-ownership or joint ownership In Spain it is possible to bring co-ownership to an end in a Deed of Extinction of CoOwnership – Extinción de condomino. The ownership must be transferred to only one joint owner so this does not work if there are four owners who want to transmit to two. However, it is practical in many situations such as divorce or the end of a business relationship where one party wants to retain ownership. A notarial deed is signed by both parties – either in person or by the use of a power of attorney in the Spanish form. The transaction
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Legal Advice costs are for the notary, Land Registry and legal fees. The tax authorities in Andalucia currently charge 1.5% tax on the fiscal value. Fiscal value is generally less than market value. The tax situation needs to be ascertained because there are also other matters such as the local improvement tax – plus valia – and the question of tax retentions.
their private assets in community of property, instead of in their individual names. This is called a Declaración de comunidad de bienes and is also tax exempt if you can show a couple have decided to declare they will own all their assets jointly in future. This can be suitable where someone has purchased property in Spain in their own name and after marriage, they decide they want to own the asset jointly – particularly if it is the family home. There are also other obligations as before, such as the local improvement tax – plus valia – and the question of tax retentions. It also affects the inheritance tax implications.
Declaration of community of property In Spain this is tax exempt where you can show that a couple have decided to own
For more information contact info@ decottalaw.net or telephone 952 527014 or see the advert on page 11 for a branch near to you.
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Just for Fun
Common misconceptions This round is a selection of questions which logic says should be obvious, but are not the obvious answer… 1. How long was the hundred years war? 2. From what animal is catgut usually made? 3. The lead in a pencil is made of what?
7. What is a titmouse? 8. In which country are Panama hats made?
9. In which country was the game of Chinese 4. A horned toad is not a toad at all – what Checkers invented? type of creature is it? 10. A koala bear is not a bear – what type of 5. What type of tree is a Douglas Fir? animal is it? 6. In which country was India Ink invented?
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Answers can be found on page 28.
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Short Story
Just for Fun
Misconception answers from page 26 1. 116 years 2. Sheep (or goat) 3. Graphite
5. Pine
4. A lizard
6. China 7. A type of bird 8. Ecuador 9. Germany 10. A marsupial
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Spotlight
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Health & Beauty
How to recognise low self-esteem by Sarah Jackson
The term ‘self-esteem’ is one we hear bandied about all the time, often prefixed with the word ‘low’ and usually found within the context of self-help articles. The writers usually warn us that if we don’t have enough of it, we need to do everything in our power to get more of it so that we can fulfil our true potential and thrive. This month we will look at what ‘self-esteem’ actually means and how can we recognise when we – or someone we care about – is struggling because of a lack of it. Next month we will examine some practical ways in which we can help those we love to overcome low self esteem by exploring different ways to approach them and their behaviour. Self-esteem, in sociology and psychology, is defined as a judgement – as well as an attitude – towards oneself, reflecting how you evaluate your own worth. Nathanial Branden, a prominent psychotherapist and writer known for his work in the psychology of self-esteem, defined it as "the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness." Self-esteem, therefore, is how we value ourselves; it is how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others. Self-esteem affects our trust in others, our relationships, our work – nearly every part of our lives. Positive self-esteem gives us the strength and flexibility to take charge of our lives and grow from our mistakes without the fear of rejection.
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This issue of self-esteem is a well-loved topic for writers in the self-development field. Google ‘self-esteem books’ and your search will bring up approximately 2,430,000 hits! The vast majority of these books will tell you why your self-esteem is low and how to get your hands on some more of it. Nowadays, in Western culture, self-esteem is considered the foundation of individual success. Without it, we are told, we cannot possibly get ahead in life; to ‘make it’, we need to believe we are totally awesome. However self-esteem is not like filling your car up with fuel. It is not something that you just suddenly run out of then go to the petrol station and top up. You certainly can’t just replenish the resources of someone with low self-esteem by simply telling them how fantastic they are, or suggesting that they ‘learn to love themselves’. Achieving a healthy level of self-esteem and feeling good about oneself comes as a result of adopting certain approaches to life. How we go about things and the attitude we hold towards what has happened in our life have much more impact upon our emotional state than the things that have actually happened to us. Just because we have had a hard life or encountered difficulties does not mean we cannot be positive, and vice versa. Many of us know people who appear to have had a blessed life and yet remain negative and miserable. Continued on page 32
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Health & Beauty
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Health & Beauty Nevertheless, having very little self regard can have serious consequences for our potential to enjoy life if left unchecked for long periods of time. Signs of low self-esteem may manifest as any of the following: Lack of confidence Lack of self-direction Self blame Self doubt Lack of awareness of personal strengths Perfectionism and being over-critical of oneself when mistakes are made; being unable to learn from your mistakes Over-critical of others’ mistakes; blaming those that make them; judging others harshly An excessive eagerness to please Always wanting to be in control Pessimism/depression An inability to solve problems A co-dependent and unco-operative attitude
An inability to trust others An inability to say no Poor self-care A poor sense of personal limitations Inability to reach your potential; underperforming A tolerance of abusive situations and relationships A feeling of unworthiness Being overly self-conscious A feeling of incompetence and not feeling capable Focusing on ones weaknesses; inability to see positives Avoidance of challenges and opportunities Being continually apologetic Lack of assertiveness A feeling of sadness Feelings of guilt, shame, frustration or anger Constant fatigue Constantly feeling tense and unable to relax; inability to enjoy yourself Refusing to rest when you are ill Drinking excessively or drug dependency A person with low self esteem will often hold negative beliefs about themselves. These beliefs are often spoken and thought of as statements of fact, however these ‘truths’ are in fact only opinions, based upon the experiences that you have had in life.
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Health & Beauty These experiences, often occurring early in life, give you messages about the kind of person that you are; if the experiences were negative the beliefs you hold about yourself are likely to be negative too. At the heart of low self-esteem lies something which www.overcoming.co.uk calls ‘The Bottom Line’. Our Bottom Line is the negative conclusion we make about ourselves, based upon our experiences. As we grew up we took on the voices of people who were significant to us; we criticise ourselves in the sharp tones of our parents; we make the same comparisons with other people that they did. Our experiences create the foundation for us to make general conclusions about ourselves as people.
the understandings of maturity, as it is seen only from the perspective of the child. Once formed, it is stored in the subconscious mind where it stays, influencing our thoughts and behaviours and becoming increasingly difficult to question with each passing year. As you move through life you will find many things to reinforce your way of thinking – even if it is not true – and discounting anything that is not. However, this bottom line is usually based upon misunderstandings about the experience, because you had no access to the adult perspective and were unable to understand fully what was going on at the time the belief was formed.
As this bottom line is formed in childhood, it is often biased and inaccurate, lacking
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Continued on page 34
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Health & Beauty
Then, it made perfect sense, given what you were experiencing at the time, but these beliefs are now often unhelpful and outdated, no longer serving a useful purpose in your life. You are swift to notice anything that fits with your negative ideas about yourself, and equally quick to screen anything out that contradicts your beliefs. You ignore what you do well and focus on what you find difficult. You also distort the meanings attached to what you experience – for example, if someone compliments you on how you look today you might think they meant you didn’t look good yesterday, or they were just trying to be nice and didn’t mean what they said anyway.
As life goes on you develop strategies for living; rules by which you live your life based on the assumption that the bottom line is true. Your belief is that if you stick to these rules, you will be able to function in the world. They are made in an attempt to keep the low self-esteem at bay; to help you feel better – however they have the opposite effect by making demands that are impossible to meet, often leaving you feeling depressed and anxious. If you recognise some of this behaviour in either yourself or someone you care about, make sure you catch next month’s article on what you can do practically to help break this cycle of self-fulfilling belief.
Both of these ways of thinking work to keep the bottom line in place. You believe that things will turn out badly; this makes you very sensitive to anything that reinforces that this is so, and fuels the belief that that things are turning out just as you expected. Also, no matter how things turn out, you are likely to interpret them as negative so your memories of your ongoing experiences will also be negatively biased.
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To contact Sarah in complete confidence, please see her advert on page 4 for details.
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Charity News
A helping hand for local charities Throughout 2014 T.O.P.S (The Occasional Performance Society) staged several fundraising concerts with the aim of raising much-needed cash for charities based in the Alhaurín el Grande, Coin and Cartama areas. members stage events ranging from cabaret evenings and musical shows to murder mysteries and mini-pantos. Without exception, all the productions are lighthearted and fun. If there are any fledgling actors or singers out there who would like to join in the fun, the president, Mick Bradley, would love to welcome you to this happy band of enthusiastic amateurs. As a result, the society has been able to help the following good causes: Cudeca Cancer Care
400€
CHAIN (Charity for Animals in Need)
200€
Caritas (Alhaurín el Grande)
200€
Sharon’s Rescue (Animal rescue centre)
200€
Valhalla (Disabled peoples charity)
200€
Send an email to topscharity@gmail.com for more information.
T.O.P.S was formed five years ago and is based in Alhaurín el Grande. Its talented
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Charity News
Introducing GPAR... GPAR is a registered charity and refuge based in Rute, to help all animals abandoned or in need. This charity has been running since 2008 and is totally self financing. All the Spanish volunteers working at the refuge (about six or seven in all) are fully employed elsewhere – mostly in teaching professions – and run the refuge entirely in their spare time. Of course this is demanding work, as there is always a large number of dogs residing in the refuge at any one time. Although on average they re-home about 10 dogs a month – not only locally but to various parts of Spain and Europe – there are always more dogs needing shelter being found on the streets, so the refuge is nearly always full. Every dog that enters the refuge is fully vaccinated, wormed and treated for infestations. All dogs that are re-homed are also neutered.
market stall at the Iznajar market on the first Thursday of every month at the Hotel Caserio in Iznajar (subject to weather!) and also put on other fundraising events throughout the year. These include weekly yoga sessions and concerts.
The group also runs an “Amigo de GPAR” scheme whereby people can sponsor one of the dogs for a year at a cost of €15. This is an excellent way to make a contribution to the refuge and would also make an unusual gift for someone for a birthday, Christmas or anniversary. You can sponsor a dog on behalf of another person and give this as a gift.
A small group of English ladies raise the money needed for the refuge’s running costs – such as keep, food and any veterinary bills – by running a secondhand and bric a brac
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Sadly, there are some dogs which despite their loving and kind natures, just do not appeal to a person looking for a dog to rehome and these dogs may remain at our refuge for the remainder of their lives. They
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Charity News are happy and well cared-for but of course would always love to go to a “forever home”. In addition to the normal channels of fundraising, we actively participate in the “Easy Fundraising” scheme – a novel way of helping our charity when you shop online. This site links to hundreds of popular mainstream shopping websites so that when you buy online, a percentage is given to GPAR. It is so “easy” – hence the name – and doesn’t cost you anything.
For more information about this or sponsoring a dog, please e-mail Jenny on gpar.refuge@gmail.com Or please visit the GPAR website www. protectoraderute.org for information on rehoming a dog. Also check out our Facebook page “GPAR charity” which will have details of all the fundraising activities we have planned.
There is also an “Easy” search facility. This means that when you search the web, GPAR receives a small donation and you don’t even have to spend anything to help!
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Talking Point
The best way to fight
All relationships have problems and research has shown that it is usually the woman who is the more dissatisfied. This article has been written with this in mind, but of course if your relationship feels the other way round, then please change the partner to the relevant gender as you read on. The woman is usually the more submissive partner and brings 80 percent of complaints up first. The dominant partner does what he wants, but there is a cost to the relationship. These days, women are leaving relationships more often than men, usually after years of resentment. The most successful relationships have partners who are willing to hear and deal with complaints; taking each other’s complaints seriously is a skill necessary for a happy relationship. Men who are typically less able to express themselves and withdraw from fights tend to have partners who hold on to anger. The woman seeks closure around an issue and remains angry when the problem is not solved. Happy families know how to settle disputes without leaving scars. Research has found the four behaviours which destroy a relationship/marriage are: CRITICISM — blaming, finding fault, nitpicking over small things CONTEMPT — disgust, cursing and being hateful.
name-calling,
DEFENSIVENESS — not taking responsibility for your own stuff, turning the blame back onto your partner
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STONEWALLING — refusing to deal with the issue, minimising the problem, inability to deal with conflict, walking away angry Anger per se does not destroy a relationship. It is how people DO their anger that creates problems. Research offers proof that one of the best investments you can make to preserve your relationship is to learn about anger management and conflict negotiation. Flooding of stress hormones The level and intensity of anger that accompanies the sharing of the complaint predicts whether the issues will be addressed positively or not. Flooding of stress hormones – mainly adrenaline – is the reason why people cannot resolve conflict easily. It causes hormonal and emotional arousal and is more typical in men, happening when the pulse rate goes up 15 to 20 per cent. When the person becomes flooded, their fight or flight hormones are in charge and they ‘lose it’. Commonsense goes out of the window in the heat of the adrenaline surge. Staying and arguing during flooding can be damaging to the relationship because people say and do things they do not mean, in order to hurt the other person. They may regret their hasty words or deeds later, but their partner does not – and is hurt and resentful.
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Talking Point
During a fight, if the pulse rate of one or both partners increases from a normal rate of 74 to 85 or 90, they are flooded. This indicates they are feeling threatened and their body acts just like the caveman’s did when faced with a sabre toothed tiger. When this happens, there is no possibility of resolving the disagreement.
Constructive quarrelling It is recommended that couples agree ahead of time to take a break when emotions get high and nasty comments get out of control. Either person can call for a time out (make the T sign) when they start to feel the heat and want to go for the jugular. Time out away from these angry feelings is a powerful and useful strategy to help you be in control.
If things get hot during a fight, both partners should go away and do deep breathing, selfsoothing and stress management to cool off. They must agree to return to finish the discussion when they are more in control of their emotions. For some people, this may be 20 minutes but for others, it may be several days before their mind works the issue through so they can be reasonable about the topic. People are different in how they react when threatened. Some need more time than others. The important thing is to remember to come back to discuss the issue. It is important to use a ‘soft' – as opposed to a ‘harsh' – introduction when bringing up a complaint, and let go of nitpicking criticism whenever you can. Save your efforts for the big things that contribute to the unhealthy parts of the relationship. Practice damage control by giving five positive communications to one negative one; happy couples learn to do ‘positive sentiment override' to take the heat down.
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Talking Point Learn to define the problem as belonging to both of you – not just your partner. ‘Our issue is who should clean the house' or ‘You never do your share of the work' set the stage for defensiveness. Stay in the present; do not bring up past times when you were hurt by your partner's behaviour. Really listen to what your partner says and repeat it back to him. ‘What I heard you say was… '. Keep eye contact when you can. Keep your voice low and steady. Stay focused on the issue to be solved. Do not make personality digs. Validate what your partner says, for example: ‘I can understand that because a similar thing happened to me once.’ Ask for compromises. Brainstorm as many ideas as the two of you can in order to think of other options. Reiterate what you have agreed on at each step. ‘Okay, we have agreed on the first point. Now the next item is… .' Congratulate yourselves when you do settle something. ‘Great, we got that out of the way.' Choose your fights wisely Some fights are simply not resolvable, as each person tries to get the upper hand. This is a power struggle just for the sake of
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it. Some arguments can never be resolved because they are based on intensely personal value differences between the couple.
Two-thirds of all arguments in a relationship never get resolved. That means that only one-third do — no wonder we have so many problems when we are in relationship. So be willing to distinguish solvable from unsolvable problems and make two lists of your problems: What can be negotiated and what cannot? What is most important to you; what can you let go?
Invest in the ‘love account’ in your relationship Understand what your partner needs in order to feel loved. Express your appreciation, respect and admiration whenever you can. Build up a positive ‘emotional bank account' by showing respect, listening, caring and being understanding. Show patience and forgiveness.
Give your partner the attention, hugs, smiles and positive attention that he/she wants, not just what feels good to you.
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Talking Point Couples who are positive and affirming of each other achieve success in relationships. They do not take each other for granted, but share sparks of intimacy during the day. They fight boredom in the relationship by doing small things that surprise and please their partner. They talk to each other and keep the dialogue going – even when they are angry. They get professional help when things start to get rocky. Developing maturity in love Mature love is the opposite of addiction. Authentic self-love is the precursor to loving another person in a healthy way, according to Erich Fromm, a noted writer on love. Learning to appreciate and own your lovableness is the hallmark of maturity. Love is based on valuing each other equally, with a mutual recognition of each partner's right to grow and expand. It nourishes both partners and everyone who is around it.
Recent research reveals that writing about problems is an inexpensive, effective way of sorting them out. Keep a diary of how you feel about what happens to you and how you deal with it. Examine those early childhood experiences which brought about the loss of your innocence. Examine the illusions you use to fuel the flames of unhealthy or unrequited love. Writing out the answers to these soulwrenching questions will jar something loose in you. Challenge yourself and examine your definitions of unwholesome loving and dysfunctional behaviour. This is your opportunity to help you discover your values and how to live them. Remember, learning to resolve issues is necessary for the relationship to be happy.
To bring real changes into your life, you must think, feel and do something different! www.theandalucian.com
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Alice’s Wonderland
Bring on the Games
Hello, it’s me — Alice, again Well, just to let you know Valentine’s Day was lovely. Chris gave me a lovely silver bracelet with my name and the date we got together engraved on it. Plus he is going to take me out for dinner but we still need to put a date on that… his English is quite good, but I guess there’s not much point putting such a hint in the magazine! I made him some ginger heart biscuits — Dad ate most of them though! Andalucían day is here and we celebrated it on the 20th because the 28th actually falls within the Semana Blanca school holidays. My college is within the same campus as the high school but unfortunately, only the high school celebrated it with fun activities. We at college were just treated to a longer break and a free breakfast — the usual bread roll with olive oil in it. Not much fun getting older! During the half term holiday, I have been doing things with my boyfriend and friends. On Monday Chris took me to the cinema to see Jupiter Ascending. It’s a futuristic film produced by the same people who produced the Matrix — not one for Mum, though! It’s worth a watch. We’ve also spent time with friends and played this role-playing game called Dungeons & Dragons. I’ve never played a game like this before, where you have a narrator who explains what is happening throughout the game and the players have to imagine it and decide where to go and what to do. It’s all to do with luck (or the roll of the dice), intelligence and maths – I
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can now see why they enjoy playing these games so much in TV programme The Big Bang Theory; they become very addictive. These types of games are so much better I think than those you can download as an app as you actually interact with people and they make for a good social evening with friends. We went to Malaga and spent the day there too so I’ve definitely had a busy week off – so much so I’ve hardly seen my parents. As I was getting picked up to go out, Mum called out to ask if I was back for tea that night. I said no, just to sleep, and I guess that sums up my half-term with my parents. It did get me out of doing the washing up for a few days too!
Via college, I’ve been entered into a competition which is to be held in Antequera on March 19. It’s called Bachiliada – our
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Alice’s Wonderland version of an Olympics for college. It’s the first year my college is entering and I have been signed up for one or maybe even two events: 1km race and maybe, the weights! I’ve already started training and on one of the mornings during the half term, I’d gone jogging through the park next to my house when I found a little surprise on the way back. I was telling this story to my parents, and as soon as I say ‘I found a little surprise on the way home’ they always expect a puppy or kitten to pop out (it used to be a bug when I was little!) Well, this wasn’t too far from the truth this time! I tend to jog for a distance of 2.5km and then 2.5km back home. On the way home I found my little Cocker Spaniel, Maggie, coming towards me — tail wagging and nose to the ground, tracking me by sniffing my scent. Bless her, she suddenly stopped using one of her back legs years ago — the vet said at the time, a lot of Cockers do this. She hobbles around but can look a bit funny. With the additional physical strain for my three-legged lovely and the distance, she was so tired that I had to carry her half way home, so I also ended up training for the weights competition too! If I win my events I will dedicate my medal to Maggie… maybe she could enter the three-legged race!
Well, enjoy the warmer and lighter days ahead, make sure you get out and enjoy the colourful carnivals this year — if you go to Campillos’ make sure you look for a group of metre-wide cookies walking towards you; it’ll be Becky, Shannon and their friends! Remember that the Romeria and Feria seasons start too, so there’s much to look forward to over the next few months as summer creeps nearer — unless of course you are at college then it’s just homework, study and exams ahead! Love, Alice x
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Health & Beauty
Bare your
beautiful skin Spring is here now and it is time to start shedding our layers -- not just layers of clothing, but tired, old skin cells too. Exfoliation is the step most people forget to carry out in their weekly skincare routine. Over time, dead skin cells collect on the outer surface of the skin making it look dry, dull and flaky, which is never a good look. It doesn’t matter how much lotion you slap onto these cells to moisturize, the ‘look’ persists. This is because the skin cannot absorb your moisturizer effectively as the pores underneath the dead skin cells are clogged up by the debris on top of them. This makes your skin look dry and dehydrated. Exfoliation removes these dead skin cells, allowing moisturizer to penetrate the skin’s surface more easily. As a result, the skin is tightened, looks fresher and brighter, feels softer and tans more easily. There are several ways to exfoliate the skin. Body scrubs are easy to use; you can make your own by mixing a handful of sea salt with little olive oil. Gently rub all over the body and shower off.
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Scrubs can be a little harsh for use on the face, unlike micro-dermabrasion which is a much more gentle method of removing dead skin cells from the face and neck. Micro-crystals are applied to the skin and exfoliation is achieved by gently brushing the skin with an electrically rotating brush. Dead skin cells are removed and pores are unblocked, leaving the skin vibrant and alive. Home micro-dermabrasion kits can be bought fairly inexpensively, or you can indulge in an exfoliating facial treatment at your local beauty salon. So, give it a try. Regular exfoliation works wonders for both the look and feel of the skin, ensuring you look your absolute best for the delights of summer. Try out our recipes at home... For a wonderful body scrub you will need… ½ cup + 2 tablespoons coarse sea salt crystals 2 tablespoons of olive oil Juice of one lemon or lime Herb of choice (optional) In a bowl combine a half a cup plus 2 tablespoons of salt crystals with 4 tablespoons of olive oil.
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Health & Beauty
Squeeze in the fresh lemon or lime juice, and stir together. Place in a jar with a tight fitting lid and use once a week for smooth, glowing skin. If you’re using an herb, cover the top of the mixture with it and stir it in after the lemon/ lime juice stage. It will infuse the salt around it, and you can use the buds/sprigs and all when you scrub. You can scrub it on dry or in the shower, but if you do the former, rinse off with warm water afterwards. Tip: you can adjust the amount of oil depending on if you want a coarser (less oil) scrub or a more uniform, softer (more oil) scrub.
For a very finely textured, delicious-smelling facial mask you will need... 2 tsp mashed banana 2 tsp rolled oats 1 tsp milk 1 tsp honey Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl and apply to your face. Being careful not to get the mixture in your eyes! Gently rub in a circular motion and rinse off with warm water. You can also use this as a facial mask just leave the scrub on your face for fifteen minutes before removing.
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Spotlight
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Twenty teaser answers from page 14
6. Methuselah 7. Siberian Tiger 8. Random Access Memory 9. Pancreas 10. George C Scott 11. 12 12. Ugli Fruit 13. 42 14. 10 Feet 15. Single lens reflex 16. Who Dares Wins 17. 1923 18. 27 Years 19. Femur 20. Denmark
1. Hovercraft 2. Canberra 3. Spencer Percival 4. Stockton to Darlington 5. Black
Deposito Legal MA-1110-2004
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All advertisements are published in good faith and are for information purposes. We do not under any circumstances accept responsibility for the accuracy of such advertisements, nor is any kind of warranty or endorsement expressed or implied by such publication. The editorials are not a substitute for legal advice, and not intended or offered as such. The Andalucían does not therefore accept any duty of care to anyone who makes use of, or seeks to rely on, material in this publication. No part of this or any previous Local Connections or The Andalucían publications may be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the owner.
Property for Sale TEBA 3 bed, 2 bath 19th century townhouse. Original features, 360m2. Fantastic pool & terrace. Certified Energy Rating C. PRICE REDUCED €299,950 Call 627 683380 for details
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Situated at foot of Teba Gorge, 4 bed main house plus selfcontained 2 bed apartment ideal for letting/business. Large gardens and pool. Price reduced 249,000€ Phone 952749130 or email barbarasumner@hotmail. co.uk
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