Editor’s Slice Hello Happy New Year – I hope it turns out to be a very prosperous and healthy one for all. With the festivities finished and the decorations put away once more, it is that time when many of us take an inner and — often outer — look at ourselves as we make our resolutions. These can range from losing weight and making healthier food choices to personality traits we may wish to change. We have a few articles this month which hopefully will get you on the right track. For many, a New Year comes with new challenges — this year we are supporting the 5x50 Challenge. What a fantastic charitable event this turned out to be last year. With the help of Fran Rajewski, we will be guiding you through the challenge over the coming months as we gear up towards the start date in March. Read more about the challenge on page 12 or go to www.5x50.org and register with this year’s team — 5x50 Andalusia and beyond. Remember to email us with your tips, recipes, stories and achievements — or just your aches and pains of the event so we can feature them in future monthly articles. As a business, we know only too well that the beginning of any year can often be a difficult time when cash flow is a bit tighter after the Christmas splurge. If you are looking for affordable advertising reaching further than any other inland magazine, please do contact us at info@theandalucian.com as we are starting the New Year as we mean to go on: offering incredible prices with unrivalled coverage. We have also introduced unbeatable website advertising packages. Whatever the year ahead brings — I hope it’s a good one for you all.
Mike
The Andalucían X5092417D Calle Juanita Romero s/n Campillos 29320, Malaga
Next deadline: 7 February
Contact us Telephone: +34 952 723075 Mobile: +34 627 683380 info@theandalucian.com www.theandalucian.com
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Owner: Claire Marriott Editor: Mike Marriott
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See our Classified Deals on page 31
Special thanks to our writers and contributors Alan Parks Fran Rajewski Alice Marriott John Sharrock Taylor Gillian Quigley Tricia Johnson
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Talking Point
Should you be shampooing your nails? Many people believe that fingernails are made of hair. The only person whose hair bears any similarity to nails is Frank Cotton ─ that chap out of the Hellraiser films. And, being metal, they’re very different to the kind which grow out of your fingertips. Mind you, perhaps Edward Scissorhand’s fingernails are made of Frank Cotton’s hair… Anyway, for anyone who isn’t a sci-fi creation living in a movie, it’s not immediately obvious that the hard substance which makes up your fingernails could be the same as the soft substance which, unless you’re bald, grows out of your head — and, if you’re Robin Williams, profusely covers all areas of your body. Toenails are, of course, made out of the same stuff and the main constituents of hair, fingernails and toenails are proteins called keratins. Keratins are also the main ingredients of your outer skin (epidermis) and tooth enamel, as well as various bits of animals including feathers, hooves and the outer surfaces of beaks, antlers and horns. Don’t confuse any of these with tusks, though, which are extreme teeth. In the case of horns, scientists make a distinction between horns which have a core of bone (as in the cow, where the outer layer is keratinised) and horns which are purely keratin (a rhinoceros’s entire horn is basically matted hair).
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When it comes to your fingernails and hair, the general way they ‘grow’ is similar, and pretty much what you’d expect: as each new layer of cells is formed, the older cells become compacted, harden and are pushed outwards. You’ve probably noticed that your fingernails grow faster than your toenails, but you may not have noticed that nails grow faster in the summer than in the winter. Saying that your fingernails are ‘made of hair’ is not the most scientifically robust way of putting it, given that hair colour, for example, is due to the presence of melanin, but it’s basically true that they are made of the same substance. Nails and hair supposedly continue to grow for several days after death — but in fact it’s only the optical effect of the body’s post-mortem dehydration, causing the skin to retract and thereby expose more of the hair and nails.
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January’s twenty teasers -
Just for Fun
mixed bag of mind-blowing questions
1 The height of a mountain is measured from what base? 2 Which age followed the Stone Age? 3 Which religion celebrates Chanukah? 4 Where did Napoleon die in 1821? 5 Which insects have larva called daphnia? 6 In Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, what was Mr Hyde’s Christian name? 7 In which city is Lansdowne Road rugby ground? 8 What name is given to an accurate seagoing clock? 9 How many seconds are there in an hour? 10 What are the names of the three Bronte sisters? 11 What are stigma, sepals and anthers part of? 12 Who wrote the music for The Lion King?
13 What is a group of giraffes called? 14 Which is the most common animal in Australia? 15 What do you dry to get a prune? 16 Which statue is at the centre of Piccadilly Circus in London? 17 How many strings does a violin have? 18 To whom was William Shakespeare married? 19 What is the capital of Canada? 20 In which year did England and Wales unite with Scotland? Answers on page 31.
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Talking Point
Make the world a nicer place this year New Year is often seen as a time and chance to start anew. We all come up with the regular resolutions for the upcoming year (losing weight, seeing family more often and/or falling in love), but often these idealistic changes are unachievable — normally by February! So, this year, maybe we should all vow just to take a closer look into our lives and make decisions about ourselves and our behaviour. Here are 20 New Year’s resolutions that would help make the world a nicer place: 1. Think before you type — stop posting negative comments on social media pages! Post something happy instead. 2. Look into doing charity work or something for charity. 3. If you hate your job, quit your job. Make sure you have another one lined up first though! 4. Stop beating yourself up for skipping the gym on days you truly didn’t have time. But also, stop skipping the gym on days you had plenty of time to go. 5. Rid yourself of “frenemies.” Don’t spend 2014 surrounded by people you secretly despise. 6. If you are looking for a relationship and someone catches your eye, don’t miss the opportunity to say “hi” and introduce yourself, or leave your phone number for someone. Every relationship you have ever had started with a greeting. Worst-case scenario: you won’t get a call and maybe you’ll feel a tiny bit embarrassed. Regardless of the outcome, you put yourself out there and probably made the other person’s day.
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7. Stop caring about how many people “like” your online photos. If you like the photo enough to post it, what else matters? Social media anxiety is a waste of time. 8. Cross something off your bucket list. Sky dive, bungee jump, scuba dive, etc. Don’t make excuses as to why you can’t accomplish something. Easy to tie in with resolution number 2. 9. Stop hating yourself for eating dessert. A piece of birthday cake is a right, not a privilege. 10. Help strangers. “Pay it forward,” do good things for the world — and you don’t have to post a Facebook status about it either. You can feel good just for doing it. 11. Conquer a fear. 12. Turn off your phone at dinner. 13. Don’t check your Twitter feed when you’re with friends — you are already in the company of someone who is important to you. 14. Shop locally, eat locally and recognise where your money is going. Consumers control the economy, so visit the bar down the street and order tapas instead of a big name takeaway. Shop at local outlets rather than large chains (they aren’t all expensive — trust me). 15. Cry. When you’re happy and when you’re sad, embrace your emotions as they come. 16. Stop being so shallow. Don’t judge someone based on his or her appearance. 17. Be happy – try to make some decisions that make others happy rather than yourself – it will give you happiness in the long run. 18. Tell the person you love that you do. 19. Show a kind gesture to someone less fortunate than yourself. 20. Get up in the morning, smile and enjoy life!
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Just for Fun
25 useless things you just don’t need to know about... No-one really knows when doughnuts were invented or who invented them. Apples, potatoes and onions all taste the same when eaten with your nose plugged. Lettuce is a member of the sunflower family. Lemons contain more sugar than strawberries Onions get their distinctive smell by soaking up sulphur from the soil. Diet Coke was only invented in 1982. When an egg floats in water, it is “off” and should not be eaten.
The consumption of natural vanilla causes the body to release catecholamines (including adrenalin) – for this reason it is considered to be mildly addictive. Banana trees are not actually trees – they are giant herbs. Ketchup was originally a fish sauce originating in the orient Eating one meal of fish a week reduces your chances of getting a heart attack by 50 per cent.
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Chicken today contains 266 per cent more fat than it did 40 years ago. The first meal eaten on the moon was roast turkey, consumed by Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. A typical banana travels 4,000 miles before being eaten. Ketchup is excellent for cleaning brass ─ especially tarnished and corroded brass. 7-Up – invented in 1920 ─ contained Lithium, the drug commonly prescribed now to sufferers of bipolar disorder. In the United States, lettuce is the second most popular fresh vegetable. Coffee is the world’s most recognisable smell. Carrots have zero fat content. When honey is swallowed, it enters the blood stream within a period of 20 minutes. Coconut water can be used in an emergency as a substitute for blood plasma. Orange juice naturally contains a small amount of alcohol. Darker green lettuce leaves are more nutritious than lighter green leaves. About 25 per cent of all iceberg lettuce is made into fresh cut salads. If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.
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Men’s Matters
Get your male mojo back this year
We’ve all been through it at some point. I’m talking about that rut, bout, spell or period in our lives where we feel like we’ve lost our swagger. There are many reasons why this loss of confidence occurs (I’ll let you fill in the blanks), but when it happens to you, it really sucks. Here are 20 tips to get you out of the doldrums and help you get your swagger back. Some say to get a tattoo, go sky diving, get out of a bad relationship, shave your head, change your name, throw out all your clothes and things of that nature, but I want to focus on less extreme measures and more on the simple things you can do. You don’t necessarily need to overhaul everything you do. Sometimes, you just have to do the little things that make a big difference in order to get yourself going again. 1. Improve your diet. Like the old adage says, “You are what you eat.” So throw away the ageing rock star routine, and add in water. Take out the beef and take-outs; add in fish or chicken. Take out the sweets and chocolate; add in fruit and vegetables. You get the point. 2. Get more sleep. Not only will it make you feel more refreshed, but it helps in countless other ways. 3. Get to the dentist. Get your teeth cleaned, crowns fixed, bridges built and root canals dug. You’ll be smiling before you know it.
5. Update your wardrobe. I’m definitely not recommending you splurge on ridiculous items, but sometimes when you look good, you just tend to feel good too. Treat yourself to a new outfit, but remember to stick to buying pieces that you will always have a need for and leave the trendy new stuff for the fashionistas. 6. Get a new pair of glasses. Update your look with a fresh or modern pair of specs. If you’re tired of wearing glasses, then try contact lenses. 7. Polish your shoes. Don’t use the fake liquid shine stuff. Use real shoe polish, some water and a lot of elbow grease. If you can’t see your reflection in the shoe when you’re finished, then get them done by a professional. 8. Buy new cologne. The goal here is not to smell like teen spirit. Sample more than a few scents and ask the other half or sales person for their recommendation. 9. Wear your favourite pair of pants. If you don’t have one, get one. If you can’t decide between boxers or briefs, go with boxer briefs. 10. Wash your car. There’s something about arriving in style that never seems to get old – if nothing else, it’ll give you a bit of exercise! 11. Stop comparing yourself to others. This is easy to say and difficult to do, but it is essential in getting your swagger back. 12. Align your priorities. Go and sit somewhere quiet outside, take a piece of paper and a pen and identify what is important to you in your life right now. Make sure you put yourself as number one.
4. Get a haircut. Okay, there’s nothing wrong with those DIY clippers in the drawer, but it just won’t do this time. I’m not saying go to one of those foo-foo salons where they serve you wine and make you take off your shirt, but just go and find a reputable shop or mobile hairdresser and get a nice cut.
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13. Set goals. You don’t have to do this only at New Year – set different goals for different months if you find it easier to stick to. 14. Drop bad habits and develop good ones. They say it only takes nine days to form a habit. Do you really need another reason to stop biting your nails?
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Men’s Matters 15. Cut dead weight. Let go of anything, anyone and everything that is weighing you down. This includes extra pounds, negative friends, unhealthy relationships and the subscription to that magazine you never read. 16. Change your latitude. Take a trip to somewhere you’ve never been. Travelling often opens up our eyes and changes our perspective. Even better if you can afford to go international, but somewhere new can just be around the corner.
17. Exercise. Exercising makes you look and feel better (duh, right?) 18. Take up a new hobby. Even if you’re already a skilled juggler, you can still always learn a few new tricks. 19. Watch your favourite movies of all time. Grab some popcorn and watch that go-to movie that always seems to make you feel alive. 20. Smile. Easiest one of all, but remember that when you smile, the whole world smiles with you. You may find that these won’t all work or be relevant for you, but that’s okay. The key ingredient here is to take action and truly believe in yourself. Then watch your confidence and mojo grow this year.
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Charity News
A New Year for a renewed
and improved you
By Fran Rajewski
2014 has greeted us and many of you will have renewed your vows for a better, healthier you... but as we all know, by end of the month at worst ─ or end of the quarter at best ─ most of the New Year resolutions will have flown to sunnier places; distant memories as the day passes. So what better way to route for a fitter you than the one to pledge to a great cause and contribute to raising funds for charity? May I introduce you to the third edition of 5x50 (www.5x50.org) ─ your companion on your journey of blossoming into the spring butterfly you always wanted to be…
What is the 5x50 Challenge?
The 5×50 Challenge launched in 2012 as a charity challenge encouraging people to run, walk, jog or cycle 5K (or 30-minute exercise equivalent) every day for 50 days with the aim of changing exercise habits for a lifetime.
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The inaugural challenge attracted more than 5,000 participants from 43 countries. So far, we have raised in excess of £160,000 for various charities. Moving forward, the team behind the challenge has aspirations to make the event bigger and better year on year. The 2014 challenge will kick off on Sunday 30 March 2014 with registration (see website) opening early this month.
What is our goal?
This challenge started with a vision to make sport part of everyone’s daily life. Not everyone will run a marathon, but anyone can complete the 5×50 challenge and experience the physical and psychological benefits which come from taking part.
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Charity News What are we doing?
You might be sitting there as a fitness enthusiast looking for a new challenge, or you might cringe at the thought of the gym. Either way, this challenge is for you! We all make resolutions at New Year ─ such as lose weight, get healthy, improve our personal bests and organise our lives. So why not commit to exercise every day for 50 consecutive days and change your habits of a lifetime?
30 minutes of exercise is only 2% of your day
The journey, which starts on 30 March, is part of the global 5×50 community of challengers. The registration fee is a minimum donation of £5, of which 75 per cent will go to Sport Relief. After registration and making your entry donation you are completely free to raise funds for Sport Relief, any charity of your choice or just take part for the fun of it. You can register as an individual or part of a team – simply go to the website www.5x50.org and hit the “Get Started” button on the home page. When you reach the team to join please join us at 5x50 Andalusia and beyond.
Here are some examples of what your money can buy: • £5 could buy a vaccine which helps protect a child in Africa against deadly diseases. • In Africa, £5 could pay for a mosquito net to protect a mother and her baby from contracting lifethreatening malaria while they sleep. • £5 could provide a person with HIV in rural Sierra Leone with a basic care kit, including toiletries and pain medication. • £5 can pay for a young person in the UK with a disability to take part in a sporting activity.
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Continued on page 14.
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Charity News What 5x50 offers
Challengers are supported via this website and our social media channels to complete their daily activities either individually or in groups. The online community will allow users to register for events, link with other challengers, receive training advice, be encouraged and supported by our network of Fivers and importantly, motivate one another to keep going over the 50 days. So what are you waiting for? Register today at www.5x50.org with team 5x50 Andalusia and beyond.
Just 30 minutes of exercise can reduce your risk of heart disease
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5x50 Andalusia and beyond will try to encourage each one of you, of all ages and fitness levels, with daily yoga poses, motivational quotes, recipes and much more. Follow the team’s progress through the forthcoming articles here in The AndalucĂan and don’t forget to email your reasons for joining, your exercise routines, recipes and tips or what you are doing for the Challenge this year so we can thank you in print. For more information on the Challenge or help with your 5x50 registration please contact Fran at info@andataraxia.eu
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Spotlight
Floozies and Flivvers
by John Sharrock Taylor
The December edition of The Andalucían carried an extract from A Wigan Childhood, the autobiography of my early years. It featured my very first vehicle, an Austin Pathfinder pedal car. The following is from Six Steps from Wigan Pier which is due for release in autumn 2014. You can read the full chapter ─ and several more at www.johnsharrocktaylor.webs.com As a chat-up line, it made a change from ‘What do you do for a living?’ but if vanity (mine, I’m afraid, not hers) had persuaded my young wife to make the best of her beautiful eyes by keeping those 1960s Marjorie Proops flyaway specs in her handbag, that myopic stare down a naturally imperious nose could be unintentionally intimidating. ‘Er, you mentioned that you commute. What car do you drive? ‘A Dennis.’ ‘What? You drive a fire engine?’
Val’s personal transportation was not, of course, anything of the kind. I had christened her diminutive red 1954 Austin A30 in honour of Major Dennis Bloodnok (Indian Army, Coward and Bar) of Goon Show fame. Over the years, I flirted with more than 60 mature charmers and had full-blown affairs with not a few. Most of them had pet names. Whenever a new mistress hove into view I would tell my longsuffering wife ‘Think yourself lucky. Some men waste their money on floozies rather than flivvers.’
rich, loud, insensitive American returnee of British legend, but I was desperately conscious of the huge economic gulf between the two sides of my family. Already fascinated by cars, I quickly extracted from Jeff that he drove a Chrysler New Yorker sedan in not one but three shades of metallic green. It was, of course, automatic and had a huge V8 engine, two-tone leather upholstery, whitewall tyres, electric windows and tinted glass. In contrast, our family car was a 1955 sit-up-and-beg Ford Popular which, I defensively maintained to Jeff, was far superior in quality to tinny, flashy Yankee creations. ‘Show me,’ said Jeff tolerantly, and I led him to the ‘backs’ behind the house. He gazed impassively at our diminutive fawn ‘Pop’ with its 1930s styling and red rexine upholstery. ‘Lift the hood.’ ‘Don’t you mean the bonnet?’ ‘Lift it.’ Uncle Jeff stood for a moment regarding the quasiantique squat, square 1172cc side-valve engine. ‘Is that the motor?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘My generator’s as big as that.’ I can still remember the excitement of driving my first powered vehicle: that feeling of being barely in control of something which seemed to have an unpredictable life of its own. When I was 15 I owned a share in a 1936 Morris Eight, which my friends and I drove untaxed, uninsured and totally illegally in the country lanes near Haigh. It went well but had a tendency towards the palsy because of worn kingpins.
It was in 1960, while my family was living in a twoup-two-down in Wigan with uneven floors and an outside lavatory, that my grandfather’s brother, great uncle Jeff, came to visit us from Connecticut. Quiet and smiling, Jeff was the complete antithesis of the
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We bought it for seven pounds ten shillings from a fly-by-night dealer on a slum clearance lot down Prescot Street, where the air was richly perfumed by Gallaghers’ glue factory. It was fascinating area, full of multi-coloured pre-war wrecks with bald tyres, mildewed upholstery and sagging springs, and when I later read Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath it all came flooding vividly back. Shortly after the syndicated Morris had given up the ghost, I turned 17 and decided to buy an E-Type. And I knew exactly where one could be had for 25 quid. Now, I should explain that the part-exchange vehicle I had seen standing on the forecourt of James Berry’s Foxfield Garage wasn’t a Jaguar E-Type but a 1939 Series E, a slightly later Morris Eight than our previous model. With his natty pinstripes and toothbrush moustache, Mr Berry was the image of the sharp operator but there the resemblance ended. He flirted decorously with my girlfriend Audrey and got down to business. ‘Twenty-five pounds, young people, is just the start. Are you working yet?’ ‘No, we’re still at school.’ ‘I thought so. Petrol’s five bob a gallon. Have you thought about insurance?’
Spotlight
‘Er, no.’ ‘I thought not. Well, it’s compulsory and for a seventeen-year-old on a provisional licence it isn’t cheap.’ ‘We could wait to insure the car until we’ve saved up a bit more.’ ‘So you’d need to garage it, or at least park it off the street.’ ‘My dad has a garage.’ ‘What does he keep in there at the moment?’ ‘His own car.’ ‘I thought so. Listen, children, I’m going to do you a big favour...’ ‘Oh, thank you... ‘And not sell you a car.’ In my first term at Lancaster University I literally swopped my tired old NSU scooter for a tidy little grey Standard 8 saloon which had been registered in 1946, the year of my birth. She flagged dismally on hills and my college friend Michael Caddock claimed to be deeply humiliated the day we were stormed past by a Dukinfield Corporation bus. But it was on Morecambe promenade that I had my first encounter with the Stalwart Guardians of the Law.
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Continued on page 18
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Spotlight ‘Mike, there’s an idiot right on my tail, flashing his headlights in the rear-view mirror. I’m going to step on it and lose the bugger.’ Like the voice of God the instruction seemed to come from a disapproving sky: ‘Car number MMF 160, pull into the side, please!’ It seemed that the ‘nods’ habitually targeted us students, which was hardly surprising as we were usually doing something illegal and we tended to drive vehicles which combined great antiquity with astounding decrepitude. And the second question (the one which came after ‘Do you know what speed you were doing in a 30 mph zone?’) was always: ‘Can you tell me the registration number of this vehicle?’ ‘No, but if I were going to nick a car do you really think I’d have chosen this one?’
The Standard was reliable and economical to run, so common sense dictated eternal faithfulness, but in love affairs my heart has always ruled my head. And Mephistopheles was one of the few thoroughly masculine vehicles to whom I have ever given that most susceptible of organs. The near-immaculate black 1936 Riley Nine Merlin sports saloon, with its blue leather interior, stood in an alleyway in Lancaster’s Scotforth suburb. Noting the ‘For Sale’ sign, I duly banged on a back gate and summoned the owner. ‘I should warn you that I’ve already had an offer for it.’ ‘How much?’ ‘Twelve pounds.’ ‘Would fifteen be acceptable?’ ‘Done.’ The twin-overhead cam power unit ran with a deep burble which seemed to confirm Mephistopheles’s infernal credentials. Like all the Rileys of his era he was fitted with a preselect gearbox ─ a lever on the steering column which allowed the driver to preprogramme his next gearchange and complete it with a light tap of the foot. For the competition Rileys,
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such as the Imp or the Gamecock, this might give a split second’s advantage but on the much slower Merlin I couldn’t really see the point of it, though the unit did counterpoint the engine noise with a rather interesting whine. The doyen of the 1930s road Rileys was the lowslung, elegantly aerodynamic Kestrel Sprite. With a much more efficient power-to-weight ratio and the same huge 19 inch ‘knock-on’ wheels as the Merlin, it could see off quite a few of the middle-range sports cars of the 1960s and I felt a thrill of pride when one of these thoroughbreds saluted Mephistopheles with a cheerful flash of its P100 headlights on the A49 near Euxton one misty Sunday morning. Graham Nunn, alias Numbo, was a Lancaster character who hid a keen intelligence under a zany appearance. Graham’s mum was an East End gel and his dad was a Cockney butcher who looked like a Cockney butcher. Graham, their only child, was a young Spike Milligan with a huge beard, wild hair and an even wilder voice. No son could have been more diametrically different from his parents and they loved him to bits. I have been known to claim ─ not entirely convincingly ─ that while supposedly reading for my BA I sacrificed the chance of a first-class degree to the demands of my various mechanical mistresses, and the adventure I shared with Graham was a case in point. After an extremely patchy three years at university I ought to have been cramming for my finals, but browsing Exchange and Mart, the flivver fancier’s vade-mecum, I came across an advert for a 1939 MG TA sports roadster which was for sale in Southport at the very attractive price of 30 pounds. I didn’t actually have 30 quid but my long-suffering bank had always been accommodating. In any case, I was now on the threshold of paid employment and I was confident that they would again supply the necessary. So Graham and I set out for Southport in a spirit of adventure and anticipation. The red MG turned out to be complete and reasonably tidy. I already knew that it was a non-
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Spotlight runner so we hitched it up with a tow rope to the back of the Riley. This kind of towing is fraught with danger and nowadays it is understandably illegal. The MG’s brake pads were down to the rivets so we took it steady, with me carefully signalling all intended manoeuvres well in advance and Graham keeping the rope as taut as possible.
In some trepidation, I left the Riley and peered in under the MG’s tatty canvas hood.
All went well until we reached the long, steep hill at Fulwood on the Southport side of Preston. There were traffic lights at the bottom of the slope and about 200 yards before the Riley reached them, they turned red. I didn’t have the option of ‘running’ the lights because traffic with priority was already beginning to cross the junction, so I tried to brake as smoothly as I possibly could. Glancing fearfully in the rear-view mirror I saw a vehicle about to overtake me. As you have probably guessed, it was a red MG TA roadster.
‘It’s bloody hairy in here, you know!’
‘Are you all right, Graham?’ Wild eyes glittered out of an impenetrable mass of barnet and beard, then, in a high, cracked tenor:
Fortunately, there was nothing approaching us from the opposite direction. The laws of geometry operated and as the MG passed me at some speed it described a precise arc and ended up facing me head-on at the end of the bar-taut tow rope.
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Things to Do
Microwave it to a crisp Despite all my good intentions I do it every year – fail my New Year diet resolution. It’s not even a diet really, just more of a promise to myself to eat healthier but my biggest downfall is snacking! Crisps mainly — I’m lucky enough not to suffer with too much of a sweet tooth — but everyone else suffers if I don’t get the odd snack now and again. These quick microwave crisps are great and so much healthier than shop-bought. You may need to practise with your own timings for your microwaves but I find the following method works really well – enjoy!
Ingredients
4 large potatoes (white or red potatoes) Your choice of spices (granulated garlic powder, seasoning salt, cayenne pepper, dried dill weed, granulated garlic powder) Vegetable oil for microwave bacon tray
Method
1 If potatoes are old, you’ll need to peel them; if the potatoes are new or good skins, don’t! Slice thinly, less than 1/16" in thickness (paper-thin), slicing across the potato. Deposito Legal MA-1110-2004 Copyright © 2004 - 2014
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2 Place potato slices in a bowl, sprinkle with some salt (if desired), cover with cold water and leave them to sit for 10 minutes. 3 Remove potato slices in batches onto paper towelling and pat dry. 4 If you have a microwave bacon tray, rub the tray with a vegetable oil, then place the sliced potatoes flat on the tray in a single layer. If you do not have a bacon tray, use a microwave-safe casserole dish; rub the inside of the dish with some olive oil for the first batch of potato chips. I do not know why, but I find that if you do not rub oil the first time, some chips will tend to stick to the dish. 5 Sprinkle with your choice of herbs or spices or just leave them plain. 6 Cover with a microwaveable, round, heavy plastic cover. 7 Microwave on high (full power) for 5 to 5 ½ minutes or until they curl slightly and are a very light brown in colour. Cooking time could vary slightly, depending on the wattage of your microwave and the thickness of the slices. The thinner the slices, the quicker they cook and the tastier they are. 8 You do not have to turn the sliced potatoes over. After the first batch is done, you don’t need to rub the dish again. Continue to microwave the remainder of sliced potatoes as above. If using a bacon tray, after the first batch is cooked, you can reduce the time to 4 ½ minutes and even less as you continue to microwave each batch.
The editorials are not a substitute for legal advice, and not intended or offered as such. The Andalucían does not therefore accept any duty of care to anyone who makes use of, or seeks to rely on, material in this publication.
You can also use parchment paper to microwave the potato slices. Lightly spray or rub the parchment paper with some vegetable oil or a spray. Place your potato slices on the parchment paper, and then sprinkle them with whatever you like. Place another piece of parchment paper on top. This will help microwave the potatoes more evenly and they should turn out nice and crisp. Microwaving time should be between 5 and 6 minutes.
No part of this or any previous Local Connections or The Andalucían publications may be used or reproduced without the prior written consent of the owner.
Try experimenting with the sprinkles and spices — but once you’ve got the hang of making these, you’ll never look back. This just may be the year we all manage to eat that bit healthier!
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Things to Do
Save a fortune with home remedies! Gel Pack
This gel pack is great as you can use any size freezer bag and wrap it round larger areas if needed.
Ingredients
Cough medicine
Really easy, cheap, home-made, natural and most of all, it WORKS like a charm! So much better than spending loads on over-the-counter products!
500 ml water 160 ml rubbing alcohol
Makes: 4-8 doses
Method
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger 1 tablespoon honey 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar 2 tablespoons water
Ingredients
1 Mix, then seal in a freezer bag, then encase in a second bag. Use a vacuum sealer if you have one. 2 Place in the freezer and leave for 4 – 5 hours. 3 Use when required. The more alcohol you use, the softer the pack will be, making it gentler on injuries than an ice pack/bag of peas!
A good tip is to add a few drops of blue food colouring (or maybe different colours for different family members) so everyone would know what it was when they opened the freezer. Always use the ratio of a third rubbing alcohol to water. Pour into smaller freezer bags if required — great for headaches as smaller bags are easier to manage – just place on your temple and relax.
Method
1 Mix all the ingredients together 2 Take by the teaspoon as often as needed for cough. 3 Do not give to infants under 12 months due to the honey (though I doubt you could get them to take it anyway!) 4 Take as desired — normally two tablespoons is enough to stop that hacking cough, sore throat and get a good night’s sleep! Some people prefer not to add water — if you prefer, add an additional tablespoon of honey and an extra tablespoon of apple cider vinegar. Try adding fresh minced or crushed garlic as well. Garlic is a natural antibiotic and is anti-viral.
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Men’s Matters
Man - do I need to get some shut-eye!
By A Man
Hey, you! Yeah, you ─ the one reading this article instead of doing something else! You need sleep. How do I know? Well most of us men do – we need seven to eight hours. We need it more than exercise; more than our daily intake of social media ─ even more than gaming or watching TV. Research has shown that more than 75 per cent of middle-aged men clock up on average between one and two hours’ sleep deprivation a night! No wonder you don’t feel like doing anything the next day – let alone at the weekend when you should be out there enjoying life! How many times have you read an article in some magazine about an obsessed business type who claims to get up at 4am seven days a week so that they can hit the treadmill before their 8am morning meeting? Notice how it’s those same businessmen who embezzle the company’s retirement fund and flee to a remote tropical island!
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I’m not saying we should aim to do that — after all, they all get caught so it’s not that clever. In the developed world, sleep deprivation is synonymous with power and success. Winners don’t need sleep, right? Edison claimed to sleep for four hours a night. He was also wildly unethical and electrocuted an elephant. Draw your own conclusions.
Real men eat quiche, but they don’t sleep past six It’s a machismo thing, people. We boast about lack of sleep as if that means we work harder or better than our sleep-happy peers. But there’s a big difference between getting away with less sleep and actually flourishing that way. Your body builds up a sleep
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Men’s Matters deficit if you don’t give it what it needs. There’s a reason sleep deprivation is one of the nastiest forms of torture around. Sleep does a whole host of things for you, including: • Helping memory and learning. • Strengthening willpower. • Stabilising your body weight. • Increasing energy and stamina throughout the day. • Keeping you from dying. The only resolution I made this year was to get more sleep, and only a week into the year, I’m already incredibly glad I made that decision. Whether I’m working, watching TV or playing video games, when 11pm rolls around, I quickly get myself ready for bed and hit the hay. At 7am, I get up. Last year, I’d often be up until 1am or later, finishing work, chatting with mates on Facebook or just fiddling around on the web. And I’d climb out of bed at 6am to get the daily routine started.
another 20 minutes.” Make it your prime directive and you’ll thank yourself every morning when climbing out of bed becomes a (more) pleasant experience, and every evening as you make it through the day with your sanity and composure intact. You’ll find tasks easier to start, good habits easier to keep and you’ll have to spend a lot less time fussing with your productivity system because your body won’t be resisting that trip to the gym or that upcoming chore. Relationships will blossom, too — you’ll find yourself less crabby, with more time to chat to real people rather than cyber-chums. If you don’t believe me, read any medical article (not late at night when you should be sleeping though!) showing the benefits of a good night’s sleep.
What’s changed thanks to additional sleep? I’m just as productive ─ or unproductive ─ as I was before, and I feel so much better! No, really, I do. I even fit in a bit of exercise – this country is beautiful in the morning – so I go for a half hour walk before life begins. With the sleep I’m getting, plus the extra exercise, I really do feel so much more invigorated.
Did you know most people fall asleep within seven minutes of turning off the TV or light? Try it. Go to bed an hour earlier, leave your alarm for the normal time you need to wake up and switch the technology off — sweet dreams equals a great day ahead.
I have a cup of coffee in the morning and one with lunch, so instead of zigzagging between socaffeinated-I-can’t-think-straight and nodding off, I stay on a fairly even keel throughout the day. Sleep’s a beautiful thing, and a very productive way to spend your time.
Make sleep your number one priority If adequate sleep isn’t number one on your list, there’ll always be a project or diversion which deserves “just
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Spotlight
Things aren’t always easy
By Alan Parks
There are many things that are different here in Andalucía compared to back at home in the UK. One of our main problems can be getting the medicine we need if one of the animals is ill. Our vet is amazing and is always available in an emergency, but alpacas are still new in Spain, and there is no knowledge here about treating them. It is not an unusual problem. Even in the UK, alpacas had not been heard of 20 years ago and most of the drugs used are ─ or until recently have been ─ licensed for other animals such as sheep, cows or goats. There is, of course, a mass of information available on the web, and by using Facebook, you can get an answer quickly on many different issues, as well as recommendations for products to use. One of the strangest I had heard of is Pepto-Bismal, the US medicine for an upset stomach. It has been suggested that every alpaca breeder should have a bottle in their medicine cabinet. One day our alpaca resources were tested. It was the end of the summer and our fig tree had given up most of its delightful fruit. There was a pile of windfall figs on the floor on the side of the fence where the alpacas couldn’t get to them. Our youngest cria (baby alpaca), Santa, was just approaching weaning age, when we take them away from Mum (in this case, Bermuda), to give them a rest and allow their milk to dry up. He had been pushing the bottom of the fences, trying to eat the grass on the other side, and he was gradually getting his body further and further through. On this particular day we wandered round to check on the alpacas and found Santa running up and down on the wrong side of the fence, obviously distressed. Lorna then noticed that he was foaming at the mouth, and he was making a strange sound. I was despatched to Montoro to ask advice from the vet and try and get some Pepto-Bismal or similar from the pharmacy. I drove quickly into town ─ well, as quickly as you can on a three kilometre dirt track and a winding country road. I got to the vet’s office and asked for some advice. No, they don’t have Pepto in Spain, I was told. The nearest thing I could get was Milk of Magnesia.
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When I pulled up at the gate I could see immediately that Lorna was distressed that the vet hadn’t returned with me. By this time, Santa was lying on his side, groaning loudly and dribbling a green fluid from his mouth. He looked as though we would lose him. We sat him up and syringed some of the Milk of Magnesia in to him. After a few minutes there was no effect, so we bundled him into the back of the car, and drove back to the vet’s. On the way we called Andres the vet, and told him we were on the way with Santa on board. As we came into town, we were stopped abruptly by a casual-looking policeman. It was one of the many parades which happen in Montoro every year ─ usually to celebrate one of the Saints’ days, or just a general fiesta. We were waved through after a few minutes which felt like an hour, and pulled up outside the vet’s. The office is on the second floor, and on the corner of the street is a bar where there was a large gathering of young people sitting outside enjoying the cool evening. Andres came down to meet us and we lifted Santa out of the back of the car. Andres had prepared an injection and as he started to inject Santa, the poor animal let out an enormous wail. The people at the bar all turned to see what was making the noise. I am sure they had never seen an alpaca before and there was lots of chatter coming from the bar. Andres sent us off with a cheerful wave and instructions to continue with the Milk of Magnesia for the next day. As we circumnavigated the town to return home, we came across another policeman ─ this time blocking the road and smoking a cigar. We had run into a large wedding. We were stuck again, for about 15 minutes this time, before once again, we were waved off with an air of indignation.
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Spotlight By the time we pulled up at the gate to our farm, Santa had begun to sit up in the back of the car, and was looking a little better. I lifted him out of the car and returned him to a field with our other youngest alpaca, Galaxy. The first thing he did was trot over to the hay stack and start eating again. Thank God. We were so relieved. All in all, it was as if Santa had been a bit like a child at a birthday party and had just eaten too much sweet stuff. He still has a keen eye for spotting any unsecured gaps in the fencing and has even been found wandering around on the track outside our house with no way of getting back in. Sometimes, raising animals is worse than raising children, and raising animals in Spain is even more difficult. Alan Parks lives in Andalucía with his alpacas and is the author of two books, “Seriously Mum, What’s an Alpaca?” and the newly released sequel, “Seriously Mum, Where’s that Donkey?”
Simply answer the following question to win a copy of both of Alan’s fantastic books:
You can find out more about Alan and his life at the Olive Mill here http://whats-an-alpaca.com/
Email your answer to us at info@theandalucian.com no later than 7 February – the winner will be picked at random and announced in our next issue, our Facebook page and website.
What is the name of Santa’s mother?
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Alice’s Wonderland
Horses and heels
by Alice Marriott
Happy New Year everyone! It’s Alice again, Well, hope you all had a good Christmas and got lots of presents. I got quite a lot ─ such as money for shopping, pyjamas, a Pandora charm, chocolate and lots more. I really enjoy Christmas time ─ putting the decorations up, opening presents from your stocking and from under the tree, being with family and especially the Christmas dinner! But Christmas is over now and I always find it sad when we have to take the decorations down. I went to England just before the holidays to see some family. It was quite good because I got to see my friends Darcy and Izzy, too! I’ve been working hard at the stables and I am riding more at the moment. There was a horse, Corales ─ a beautiful grey horse that had a cloud in his left eye. He’s all better now. But he is scared to go on his left for some reason, so I have been working on him for the past two weeks. He’s getting much better. I have also been helping to break Agudo. He’s three years old and beautiful. He’s dark brown with a lovely dark mane that I always do a French plat with. I fell in love with him as soon as I saw him. He’s quite cheeky, though. He always tries to nibble my bum when I’m brushing him and stroking him. I think he’s just playing because if I tell him off, he lowers his head and rubs it on my arm so I stroke him.
New Year was good, I ate with Chris’ family and they did the grapes at midnight. I managed eleven grapes out of 12! I’m proud of myself, considering I was laughing all the way through it. After going and seeing his family and wishing them all a Happy New Year, we went out with our friends. I was in heels for the whole night. And being as clumsy as I am, well you can kind of guess what happened. I slipped. I had a sprained ankle and a graze on my knee but that didn’t stop me from having a good time. Mum’s had her gallbladder out and is recovering — she’s off for more scans this month too. I’m back at school now. I have to get back into the routine of getting up early, six hours of school and then homework and study. But the way I look at it is that we’re getting closer to the summer holidays! Love, Alice x
New bowling green to open
at Saydo Park, near Antequera by Gordon Stevenson
We are a new club, just formed in October ready to start bowling early in the New Year. The green was completed by Dales Sporting Surfaces the week before Christmas but some of the peripheral work is still to be completed. The owner of Saydo Parks, Fernando Castro, will be having an official opening on Friday February 7 at 1pm, along with the Mayor of Mollina and other dignitaries. Saydo Park, which is part of Hotel Saydo, is a residential park with about 300 residents ─ many of them bowlers. With this new facility, these bowlers
will no longer have to travel to other greens, but will now have their own green at hand. Also, many residents and non-residents who have never bowled before are keen to have the chance to take up the sport. It is hoped to offer other clubs ─ both in Spain and the UK ─ the opportunity to visit our club and stay at the hotel for longer periods if they wish. You can find us on our new website www.saydobowls.com
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Book Review
No Baboons in India
Sharrock Taylor by John Reviewed by Tricia Johnson What a delight to read a genuinely entertaining, informative and often hilarious book which is clearly written from the heart! In ‘No Baboons in India’, Lancashire-born author John Sharrock Taylor uses beautifully-rounded language to paint a fascinating picture of his time as a British former headmaster, head-hunted to build a new private school in post-Colonial India. Although some times and places have been ‘airbrushed’ to make for better reading, John himself says, “Everything in the book actually happened somewhere or other!” Any reader expecting a dry, purely factual account of ‘do-gooding’ in a third world country will be disappointed. The book rattles along, the story ranging from farce to tragedy and back again as John calls on his own – and his family’s – personal experiences. His self-deprecating sense of humour shines out from every page. Brilliant powers of observation, description and skilful use of language make the characters, scenes and situations come alive. An early example is his description of the cook, Uttam. “At first sight he looked less like a cook than an all-in wrestler. Short, bandy-legged, fiercely moustached, with a closecropped, bullet head, long, muscular arms and huge sinewy hands, he totally transformed our kitchen and our lives.” John also has the rare gift of being able to write lively, realistic – and highly-amusing ─ dialogue. “‘Respected sir, what is your problem?’ ‘Sex,’ I replied tersely. ‘Sex?’ The chief nerd was visibly alarmed. ‘Sex. I was attempting to look up a person called Napoleon Bonaparte on a historical web page. The search engine required me to fill in a box specifying the sex of the target subject. I immediately received an on-screen message from your bloody net nanny programme threatening to report me to my boss for attempting to access a pornographic site.’ ‘Respected sir, it will be rectified immediately.’”
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As well as being a thoroughly good read, the book also offers an insight into some of the social issues John encountered. In the highly-intensive Indian education system, for example, he discovers that students are brainwashed into ‘absorbing’ rather than ‘thinking’. So cleverly is this portrayed that you can actually feel his frustration as he attempts to awaken their powers of reasoning. Throughout the book, even though he pokes fun at aspects of Indian culture, John’s love for the country and its people is clear. As he says himself, “Apart from my immediate family, there is a handful of others who are almost as close. One of these is a Punjabi Brahmin and they include several other Indians I’d trust at the anchor end of my abseil rope, which is a lot more than I’d say about 99.9 percent, infinitely recurring, of my own countrymen.” I can thoroughly recommend ‘No Baboons in India’ to anyone who appreciates excellent writing, wicked humour and a genuine, personal insight into another world. ‘No Baboons in India’ is available from www.amazon. com and the Kindle version is expected shortly Win a copy of John’s latest book by answering the following question: What was the name of the cook? Email your answer to us at info@theandalucian.com no later than 7 February – the winner will be picked at random and announced in our next issue, our Facebook page and website.
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Christmas present for families in Mollina
Charity News
by Gillian Quigley
In October 2012, when I first had the idea of giving Christmas presents to the needy children and families of Mollina, little did I realise that it would escalate so much. In that year we gave gifts to 50 children and 38 adults, and the presents were mainly donations from the residents of Saydo Park and a few English residents of Mollina. Last year I decided to start fund raising in January by doing boot sales, coffee mornings, football cards, etc. I raised 1200€, which was a good job as there were 139 children and 80 adults to buy for. I work in conjunction with the Real Association, which is a Christian community on the outskirts of Antequera. They do a lot of charity work, help people with various abuse problems and also give out free food to people in the various local villages.
I have already started again to fund-raise so if you have any items for a boot sale, (bedding, curtains, towels, clothes or any bric-a-brac) please contact me and I will arrange for them to be collected. I would like to thank everyone who donated toys, shoe boxes of presents, items for the boot sales etc throughout last year and also thank Andalucían Auctions in Campillos for their donations. Also, a very big thank you to the residents of Saydo Park for all their donations and to the ladies who help me, as I couldn’t do it all on my own. Pat and Doreen also collect food and distribute it in the village. They are doing a great job as well. There is a box available in Saydo Hotel in which people can put essentials. If you have anything to donate to Gillian, please call her on 676 246180.
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Twenty teasers
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Events Local artist Margaret Riordan has two art exhibitions currently running until April at Bar Choto Playa on the N340 at Peñoncillo beach, Torrox Costa, (not Tuesdays) next to Ruta 34 motorcycles shop and in Restaurante Sevillano - El Rincón, Calle Gloria, Nerja for more information email Mariordan@aol.com
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