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January, 2014

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“For those with faith, no evidence is necessary; for those without it, no evidence will suffice.� -- St. Thomas Aquinas


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HOW TO AGE WITH HUMOR Molly Aged 103 Journalists were interviewing Molly Holderness, a 103-year-old woman, ‘Tell us, Mrs Holderness, what do you think is the best thing about being 103?’ the reporter asked. Molly smiled and looked straight at the reporter and simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’ Iris Aged 67 ‘I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for pensioners [seniors]. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotard on, the class was over.’


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January, 2014

THE CAMPANOLOGISTS (BELL RINGERS) Quasimodo was the famous hunch back of Notre Dame. After his death, the bishop of his Cathedral sent word through the streets of Paris that he needed a new bell ringer. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and so he went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he shook his head - none were as good as Quasimodo. Just as the bishop was leaving, a man with no arms approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer’s job. The bishop was incredulous. ‘But, you have no arms!’ ‘No matter’, said the man. ‘Observe!’ And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the bells. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo But suddenly, rushing forward to head the bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window. Sadly, he died on the the street below. The stunned bishop rushed to the armless man. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, ‘Bishop, who was this man?’ ‘I don’t know his name’, the bishop sadly replied, ‘but his face rings a bell.’ PART 2 The next day, despite the sadness of the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame. The first man to approach him said, ‘Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you will honour my brother’s life by allowing me to replace him as your esteemed bell ringer’. The bishop agreed to give the man an audition and, as the armless man’s brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot. A monk, hearing the bishop’s cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. ‘What has happened? Who is this man?’ the monk asked breathlessly. ‘I don’t know his name’, sighed the distraught bishop, but... ‘He’s was a dead ringer for his brother’.

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IS ANYBODY ELSE TIRED OF HEARING/SEEING/READING ABOUT THE KARDASHIANS?

By Ginger Lane

I, for myself, have had enough. I don’t even know who these people are and why we are inundated with their every move. Enough said.


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January, 2014

1. Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. 2. Use a meat baster to “squeeze” your pancake batter onto the hot griddle - perfect shaped pancakes every time. 3. To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. 4. To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling. 5. To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature & roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. 6. To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop-skillet will be much easier to clean. 7. When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead-no white mess on the outside of the cake. 8. If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it’s still cooking, drop in a peeled potato-it absorbs the excess salt for an instant “fix me up.” 9. Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. 10. Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up. 11. When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn’s natural sweetness. (ah, an old 1940’s Fannie Farmer trick!) 12. To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh-if it rises to the surface, throw it away. 13. Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. 14. Don’t throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. 15. If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy. 16. Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. 17. To get rid of itch from mosquito bite: try applying soap on the area, instant relief. 18. Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march-see for

Texas Twister

yourself. 19. When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily. 20. NOW Look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer: • Clean a toilet-drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. • Clean a vase-to remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. • Polish jewelry-drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. • Clean a thermos bottle-fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). • Unclog a drain-clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.


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Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free. Ronald Reagan 40th president of US (1911 - 2004)

EYES OF lOVE A grandmother and a little girl whose face was sprinkled with bright red freckles spent the day at the zoo. The children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. ‘You’ve got so many freckles, there’s no place to paint!’ a boy in the line cried. Embarrassed, the little girl dropped her head. Her grandmother knelt down next to her. ‘I love your freckles,’ she said. ‘Not me,’ the girl replied. ‘Well, when I was a little girl I always wanted freckles,’ she said, tracing her finger across the child’s cheek. ‘Freckles are beautiful!’ The girl looked up. ‘Really?’ ‘Of course,’ said the grandmother. ‘Why, just name me one thing that’s prettier than freckles.’ The little girl peered into the old woman’s smiling face. ‘Wrinkles,’ she answered softly.


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January, 2014

WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

Patrick came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front garden. The door of his wife, Valerie’s car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the hall, Patrick found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the rug was piled up against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the worktop, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. Patrick quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for Valerie. He was worried she might be ill, collapsed, that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and sink. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found Valerie still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. Patrick looked at Valerie, bewildered and asked, ‘What happened here today?’ Valerie again smiled and answered, ‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me sarcastically what in the world I do all day?’ ‘Yes,’ was Patrick’s startled reply. Valerie answered, ‘Well, today, I didn’t do it.’

Texas Twister


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Reserve the Starlight Room for all occasions!

January, 2014

Texas Twister


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January, 2014

At the airline check in at London Heathrow, Guy has three bags. He puts them down and says to the young lady, ‘I’d like you to send this one to Los Angeles, that one to Hong Kong and the last one to Durban.’ Her face shows signs of confusion before her training takes over and she says, ‘I’m afraid we can’t do that, sir.’ ‘Why not?’ demands Guy, ‘you did the last time I flew with you.’ ***** ‘Deja Moo’: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. ***** You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left hand side there is a valley and on your right hand side there is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you there is a galloping giant pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are travelling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get off the merry-go-round - you’re drunk! ***** Daniel and Jessica, young couple, got married and went happily on their honeymoon. When they got back, Jessica immediately ‘phoned her mother and her mother obviously asked, ‘How was the honeymoon, dearest?’ ‘Oh, Ma,’ she replied, ‘the honeymoon was wonderful. So romantic...’ Then Jessica burst out crying. ‘But, Ma, as soon as we returned home Daniel started using the most ghastly language... saying things I’ve never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come get me and take me home.... Please Ma.’ ‘Calm down, Jessica!,’ said her mother, ‘Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?’ Still sobbing, Jessica whispered, ‘Oh, Ma...words like dust, wash, cook, and iron.’

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STARLIGHT EXPRESS, USCC Since 1996 in East Texas

903.356.0044 1.855.393.3355 (Toll Free) 214.503.9190


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ROOFING Deal direct with the Roofer. 30 yrs experience call for Free Lowest estimate! Rickey Casey 903-356-5001 cell 903-850-0463

INSURANCE Motorcycle Insurance Looking for Low Rates? We’ve Got Them! 903-356-6500 adam@trustsia.com www.trustsia.com 108 W Main St ( Down Town ) Quinlan

SELLING YOUR PROPERTY? Check out our newest magazine: East Texas Properties or go online at: www.easttexaspropertiesmagazine.com


Answers on Page 20


Answers on Page 20


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January, 2014

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homecoming and prom pictures for teenage girls, as this law bans anyone under age 18 from using a tanning salon. Even with parental consent. In other words, white is in and orange is out. **SB 393 Subject: Students accused of Class C misdemeanors and how they are handled The details: School officers can no longer issue Class C misdemeanors to the trouble-makers of the hallways anymore. Instead, a judge will decide how their actions will be punished.

NEW TEXAS LAWS

The Texas legislature passed hundreds of laws this year, but here are eight that came into effect Sept. 1 you’ll want to know about. **HB 3668 Subject: An individual’s responsibilities after a car accident that caused injuries The details: If you get in a car accident, you’re now responsible for checking to see if the other party is hurt. And you’ll want to make sure you do, because the penalty for not rendering aid could be 10 years in prison. **SB 510 Subject: Passing certain vehicles on the highway The details: On the highway drivers are now required to move over for Texas Department of Transportation vehicles with flashing lights. So make sure to switch lanes or slow down to present your license and insurance. Remember: Texas drivers are already required to make room for tow trucks and law enforcement vehicles. **SB 329 Subject: Minors using tanning beds The details: No more glowing orange skin in

**HB 1421 Subject: The disposition of certain seized weapons The details: Law enforcement can now sell confiscated weapons. So next time you are in the market for a new shotgun, check your local jail. **SB 1191 Subject: Duties of healthcare facilities and providers The details: Every Texas emergency room is now required to have a rape kit. **HB 124 Subject: Addition of Salvia and its derivatives and extracts to Penalty Group 3 of the Texas Controlled Substance Act The details: Certain types of the drug Salvia are now illegal to purchase and/or use in Texas. **HB 1382 Subject: Regulation of food prepared, stored, distributed or sold at farmers’ markets The details: The vendors at your local farmers’ market now have more freedom to sell their artisan goods. You will now find, with more consistency, samples and cooking demonstrations accompanying the usual fresh produce. (www.chron.com)

A ROMANTIC NEW YEAR’S DAY STORY A married couple had been out shopping for most of the day. Suddenly the wife realized that her husband had “disappeared”. Somewhat irate she called her husband’s mobile and demanded, ‘Where are you?’ Husband: ‘Darling, do you remember that little jewelry shop where you saw that beautiful diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it but I didn’t have the money at that time and I said “Darling it’ll be yours one day.”’ Wife, tremulously, ‘Yes, I do remember that my love.’ Husband, ‘Well I’m in the Pub next to that shop.’ ***** NEW YEAR’S DAY PARTY - THAT NEVER WAS? As in many homes on New Year’s Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself. Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television. Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0. ‘See?’ Janet said happily, ‘You didn’t miss a thing.’


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ABOVE - Mrs. Cooper’s second grade class at Lee Elementary read about Tommy the Turkey. After reading, they created disguises for Tommy so he would not be eaten for Thanksgiving.

FFA SKILLS TEAM 3rd District

VETERANS DAY

ABOVE LEFT - Lindsey Holt, 9th grader, at the Caddo Mills High School won the District Christmas card contest. Her fox art will be on the front of the Caddo Mills ISD Christmas card for the 2013 season. Her Art teacher is Jeff Jaco.


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January, 2014

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An American farmer was on holiday in Wales. He could not resist exploring the hill farms north of Aberystwyth. At lunch time he dropped into a pub and fell into easy conversation with a Welsh farmer. ‘How big is your spread?’ , asked the American. ‘Well look you, it’s about 20 acres he said’ . Only 20 acres the American responded, back in Texas I can get up at sunrise, saddle my horse and ride all day, when I return at supper time, I’ll be lucky to cover half my farm’. ‘Dew dew’ , said the Welshman, ‘I once had horse like that, but sent him to the knackers yard.’ ***** This is how to find your wife, even in the busiest supermarket. Follow these four point instructions, the technique never fails. 1. Have a look around at the shoppers, then walk up to the prettiest girl in the store. 2. Say to her, ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the supermarket somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?’ 3. The pretty girl will ask: ‘Why?’ 4. You reply: ‘Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materializes out of thin air.’ ***** Ernie, an old man says to his doctor, ‘Doc, I’ve lost my memory.’ Doctor Sims, ‘When did this begin, Ernie?’ Ernie replies, ‘When did what begin?’


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Quinlan ISD’s Performing Arts Series #3 Presents Chapter 6 January 18, 2014

The concert will be held on January 18th at 7:00pm at the W.H. Ford High School Auditorium. Tickets are $5.00 and can be purchased by calling Amber at 903-356-1619 or emailing her at amber.clowers@quinlanisd.net. Chapter 6 is a professional, a-cappella ensemble, with a resume of over 1,100 performances across the United States, Canada, and Hong Kong: Comprised of six, male vocalists and one arranger, Chapter 6 is the only vocal ensemble to have won both The International Competition of Collegiate A-Cappella (2001) and The National Harmony Sweepstakes (2004).

FHS Debate Team Medal Winners THREE Ford High School teams placed in the top 4 places in Public Forum Debate. 1st Place in Public Forum - Dakotah Pitts and Chase Smith 2nd Place in Public Forum - Monica Arvizo and Emily Callaghan 4th Place in Public Forum - Adriela Arredondo and Dominique Shepard Dakotah Pitts, a second year debater, earned Ford High School’s the first ever “Top Speaker” award. This award is given to the best speaker in Public Form Debate. Very few debaters ever receive this award and we are excited that Dakotah won it in only his second year.

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FREE FREE FREE

A free three-night workshop for parents including free books and certificates of completion is being offered in January to all Quinlan ISD Parents: “Parenting: The Love and Logic Way”. Love and Logic is a nationally acclaimed program being presented in Quinlan through the Hunt County Children’s Advocacy Center. The goal of Love and Logic is to provide parents/guardians/care givers an opportunity to gain practical and proven tools for raising respectful, responsible and happy kids. During the program, simple and easy techniques and tools will be learned to help parents teach responsibility, character, self-esteem and more. This program will help parents lower stress levels and can have immediate positive effects in being proactive in raising children, preventing misbehavior, avoiding power struggles while setting limits and much more. LOVE and LOGIC FREE Workshop QISD Learning Center (Old Joe Martin Early Childhood Center) Monday, January 6, 13 and 20 5:30 - 7:30 pm ` Email Michael Tull at michael.tull@ quinlanisd.net

TMS Principal Wears a TuTu for a Cause

Thompson Middle School staff and students exceeded all expectations in fundraising for QISD Clothe-the-Kids. In return for exceeding fundraising goals, a challenge was made and carried out by TMS Principal Brian Kinsworthy to wear a “Tutu for a Day”. Quinlan ISD clothed more than 100 children at Quinlan Walmart for the winter season. A large “Thank You” extends to everyone who contributed to this most worthy cause for area needy children.

Quinlan ISD Continually Giving Back Quinlan ISD’s District Alternative Education Program (DAEP) students adopted soldier, Arica Tull Valenzuela, a 2009 Quinlan Ford High School graduate and sent care packages and letters under the leadership of Principal Gary Pamplin. Valenzuela is the daughter of PRIDE Academy Director Michael Tull and his wife Christina. She is an four-year Army Specialist just returning from Korea. She and her husband will be stationed in Fort Louis, Washington. She spoke to the DAEP and to QISD’s PRIDE Academy students. According to Valenzuela, “When I received my care package and the heartfelt letters from the Quinlan DAEP students, I broke down in tears. I could not wait to come home and speak to the DAEP students about overcoming their struggles and looking to the armed services for a possible career route.”


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9.5 mg. ***** Ok, it’s called Raspberry Parfait, but I used strawberries, because I don’t care for raspberries. So, use your favorite.

RASPBERRY PARFAIT

Happy New Year Texas Twister Readers!

Sure hope Santa was good to you all. We had a great Christmas, all our kids were home and Santa was good to us all. Remember if you got to a New Year’s Eve party have a designated driver, please done drink and drive. Be sure and thank a soldier, past and present. After all, if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be writing this. So, thank you for all your sacrifices you have made for the USA. And remember their families also! Now for a couple of recipes. Aunt Pat auntpat@texastwister.us ***** How about something that will wake you up and good for you? Hope you like this one.

CARB FREE SPICED COFFEE

Ingredients 4 cup cold water 1/2 cup ground coffee 1/2 tsp grated orange peel 1/2 tsp fresh lemon peel 1/2 tsp ground nutmeg 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon 4 tsp Splenda Sugar Blend for Baking Directions 1. Put all ingredients except sugar into a saucepan. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. 2. Strain and pour into 4 coffee mugs. Sweeten with 1 teaspoon sugar per mug, or as desired. Nutritional Values: Per Serving Calories 21.4, Total Carbs 4.4 g, Dietary Fiber 0.2 g, Sugars 2.0 g, Total Fat 0.0 g, Saturated Fats 0.0 g, Unsaturated Fats 0.0 g, Potassium 2.6 mg, Protein 0.0 g, Sodium

Makes 4 Servings Ingredients 1 envelope unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 10 ounces frozen unsweetened raspberries, thawed 1 cup plain non-fat yogurt 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 2 egg whites at room temperature 1 teaspoon crystalline fructose 1 tablespoon slivered blanched almonds Directions In a mixing bowl, soften the gelatin in cold water and then place over hot water to dissolve. Stir in the raspberries, yogurt, and vanilla and chill. In the meantime, beat egg whites until frothy and add the fructose. beat again until peaks form, then fold into the raspberry mixture. Chill until set. Serve in parfait glasses, topped with slivered almonds. Nutritional Information Per Serving Calories: 96 ; Protein: 7 g ; Fat: 1.2 g ; Sodium: 78 mg; Cholesterol: 1 mg ; Carbohydrates: 13 g Exchanges: 1 Fruit, 1/2 Fat


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January, 2014 more. Nuts, raisins and dots of butter may be added with cinnamon sugar. Bake at 350° F for 50 to 60 minutes. Glaze cake when cool. IT’S YUMMMM!!!!!

CHEESY HAM ‘N’ POTATO SOUP RECIPE

Well cold January has arrived again. I hope you ate your blackeyed peas and cabbage on New Year’s Day for luck and money. We did. I tried a new way of fixing cabbage this year. And it’s YUMMMM!!!! (Especially for those of us who aren’t found of green things). I was in a mood for warm me up, stick to my ribs after working outside or bringing in firewood. These three are all easy and great to fix for cold days recipes, and except for the coffee cake, can be changed for low fat ingredients. On the soup, just use fat free chicken stock, low fat or turkey ham and skim/fat free milk and fat free cheese. Stay Warm!!!!

DUNCAN HINES COFFEE CAKE

1 box Duncan Hines butter cake mix 1 small box vanilla instant pudding 3/4 cup oil 3/4 cup water 1 tsp. vanilla 4 eggs 1/3 cup sugar 3 Tbsp. cinnamon IF DESIRED ADD: ½ C to 1 C chopped pecans, ½ C raisins and several teaspoons of butter Glaze: 1 cup powdered sugar 1 tsp vanilla Milk, enough to form glaze Combine cake mix, vanilla, oil, water and vanilla. Mix well. Add eggs and beat 5 minutes. Combine 1/3 cup sugar and 3 tablespoons cinnamon, set aside. Grease Bundt pan or 9x13-inch Pyrex dish. Place 1/3 batter in pan, sprinkle with cinnamon sugar mixture. Repeat twice

2 cups cubed potatoes 1 cup diced celery 1-1/2 cups chicken stock 1-1/2 cups cubed fully cooked ham 1 large onion, chopped 3 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1/4 teaspoon pepper 3 cups milk 1-1/2 cups (6 ounces) finely shredded cheddar cheese or shredded Velveeta® 1 can cream style corn In a saucepan, bring potatoes and chicken stock to a boil. Cover and cook for 10-15 minutes or until tender. Drain, reserving 1 cup cooking liquid; set potatoes and liquid aside. In a large saucepan, sauté ham and onion in butter until onion is tender. Stir in the flour and pepper until smooth; gradually add milk and reserved cooking liquid. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Reduce heat to low. Add the cheese cream style

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corn and reserved potatoes; cook and stir until cheese is melted and soup is heated through. IT’S YUMMMM!!!!!

CABBAGE STEAKS

1 (approx. 2lb) head of organic green cabbage, cut into 1″ thick slices ½ tablespoons olive oil 2 to 3 large garlic cloves, smashed kosher salt Freshly ground black pepper Spray olive oil OR non-stick cooking spray 1. Preheat oven to 400F and spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray. Pull outer leaf off cabbage (it’s usually dirty and nasty looking), cut cabbage from top to bottom (bottom being root) into 1″ thick slices. 2. Rub both sides of cabbage with smashed garlic. 3. Use a pastry brush to evenly spread the olive oil over both sides of the cabbage slices. 4. Finally, sprinkle each side with a bit of kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper. 5. Roast on the middle rack for 30 minutes. Carefully flip the cabbage steaks and roast for an additional 30 minutes until edges are brown and crispy. Serve hot and IT’S YUMMM!!!!!!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made the dinner.” Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician.” Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon. Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.


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January, 2014

Comanche Braves

INDIANS IN TEXAS Although the Comanche are by far the best known of the Indian Plains tribes living in what is now Texas, they were the last to arrive in the region. Their allies, the Kiowa and Kiowa Apache originated in the west but moved to what is now west Texas. Tribes indigenous to east Texas include the Caddo (including the Adai, Eyeish, Hainai, Kadohadacho, Nacono), Kitsai, Tonkawa, Towakoni and Wichita Indians. The Akokisa, Alabama, Atakapa, Karankawa, and Tamique lived along the Gulf coast. Until around 1650, the Comanche were part of the Shoshone people living along the upper Platte River in Wyoming. The Comanche emerged as a distinct group around 1650. About this time, they acquired the horse, which allowed them greater mobility in their quest for better hunting grounds. Their original migration took them to the southern Great Plains, into a span of territory extending from the Arkansas River to Central Texas. During that time, their population increased dramatically because of the abundance of buffalo, the use of the horse for hunting and fighting, the adoption of other migrating Shoshone, and women and children taken captive.

Ultimately, they managed to make the horse such a huge force multiplier in war that the Comanche became the most powerful Indian nation of the plains. First as Shoshone, their Conquest took them to the southern plains, at which time they separated from the Shoshone and became a distinct nation. At this point, they adopted the imperialist customs which were to make them the strongest Indian nation. Quickness of speed and violence of action as a result of their superb light cavalry skill led them to capture so many children and women of their opponent Indian tribes that their numbers increased exponentially. Those who submitted to Comanche power were given latitude but had to provide food, lodging, and women to the Comanche nation. When they encountered the Spanish, the resulting wars blocked Spanish expansion to the east from New Mexico and prevented direct communication with the new Spanish settlements north of the Rio Grande. In turn, the Comanche and eventually Apache allies launched deep raids of thousands and at times tens of thousands of warriors into Mexico during which thousands of Mexicans were captured and turned into slaves. Eventually, the numbers were so large that Hispanics made up nearly thirty percent of the Comanche nation. However, the Comanches never formed a single cohesive tribal unit but were divided into almost a dozen autonomous groups with as many as 45 distinct divisions among the 12 bands. These groups shared the same language and culture but at times fought among themselves in ritualized combat as often as they cooperated. In the 1740s, Tonkawa, Yojuanes and others settled along the San Gabriel River. The Tonkawa allied with the Bidais, Caddos, Wichitas, Comanche and Yojuanes in 1758 and attacked and desimated the Lipan Apache and the Mission Santa Cruz de San SabĂĄ. Tonkawa lands The Tonkawa continued their southern migration into Texas and northern Mexico where they then allied with the Lipan Apache . Also during the 1740s in the Southwest, Spanish settlers sometimes captured American Indian children. Often it was common practice to have the child baptized and then adopt them into their homes, where they were raised to be servants. At first the practice involved primarily Apaches and eventually Comanche children were likewise adopted as servants. Before 1750, the dominant Indian tribe in Texas were the Apaches. But this changed with the

Texas Twister Comanche conquest. Beginning in the 1740s, the Comanche began crossing the Arkansas River and established themselves on margins of the Llano Estacado. This area extended from southwestern Oklahoma across the Texas Panhandle into New Mexico. The Apaches were driven out in a series of wars, and the Comanche came to control the entire area, which became known as the Comancheria. This domain extended south from the Arkansas River across central Texas to the vicinity of San Antonio, including the entire Edwards Plateau west to the Pecos River and then north again following the foothills of the Rocky Mountains to the Arkansas River. Comanche territory c.1850 At this point, the power and force of the Comanche was such that they were threatening to take over all of North Mexico. However, after driving out the Apaches, the Comanches were stricken by a smallpox epidemic from 1780 until 1781. As the epidemic was very severe, the Comanche temporarily suspended raids, and some Comanche divisions were disbanded. A second smallpox epidemic struck during the winter of 1816–1817. The best estimates are that more than half the total population of the Comanche were killed by these epidemics. In response to this devastating loss of numbers, the Comanche effectively united with the Kiowa, and Kiowa Apache, after one Kiowa warrior spent a fall season with the Comanche in 1790. From this single incident, the three tribes eventually effectively united. It is believed the union came from the necessity to protect their hunting grounds from settler incursions. First, the Kiowa and the Comanche agreed to share hunting grounds and unite in war. The Kiowa Apache, as allies of the Kiowa, ultimately joined this alliance. Eventually, the three tribes agreed to share the same hunting grounds, and had a mutual self-defense and war pact. Courtesy of Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Texas%E2%80%93Indian_Wars


903s-883-5263

January, 2014

Since 1928, Brookshire Grocery Co. has operated on the philosophy of “people first, profits will follow.” That motto still stands today, reflected by the quality customer service provided in our stores and the community service we provide throughout the areas in which we operate. We strive to continue that tradition by helping the community flourish with more than just groceries. We are committed to community involvement in our more than 150 stores in over 100 towns. Sometimes the community needs a helping hand, and our employees are dedicated to the betterment of their communities. We live here, too, and know the importance of strong community sup-

Sonic Drive-In is an American drive-in fast-food restaurant chain based in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. As of August 31, 2011, there were 3,561 restaurants in 43 U.S. states, serving approximately 3 million customers per day. Located at 610 E Quinlan Parkway, we are proud to be a member of Lake Tawakoni Regional Chamber of Commerce and the Quinlan area. Our full menu is served all day so call in advance (903-356-4908) and we’ll have your order ready or come see us soon. We wish you all a safe and properous 2014!

port. The Quinlan Brookshire’s opened in Quinlan in 1990 and has given back to our community in many local events: LTRCC Columbus Day Golf Tournament, LTRCC Business EXPO and Christmas Parade just to name a few. The Quinlan Brookshire’s offer these services: * Pharmacy - RX * Floral Department * Full Service Seafood Department * Fresh Bakery * Full Service Deli * Fuel Center If you would like to find out more about Brookshire’s go to our website at http:// www.brookshires.com/

Monroy’s Mexican Restaurant http://www.monroys.com 1941 E. Hwy 276 West Tawakoni Texas 75474 United States Phone: 903-447-4708 Contact: Maria Monroy Open 7 days a week Drop in and taste our great food!

I would like to thank you for the honor of being recognized as Business of the Month! Chic and Sassy opened January 2009 at 1119 E Quinlan Parkway #300 in Quinlan. And in April 2011, I was fortunate enough to open a second location at 10478 Hwy 80 in Forney! I take pride in offering quality apparel,

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jewelry, home decor and many other items for today’s fashion conscious woman at affordable prices. I would also like to thank our community for the support because without you , I wouldn’t be here. In the past years, I have be fortunate to acquire many return customers and have made so many true friends and I believe that has been the foundation of my success. My business hours are Monday thru Friday 10 to 6 and Saturday 10 to 5. We accept all major credit cards and don’t forget to visit us on Facebook for the latest arrivals!


Twister january 2014 low resolution  

Texas Twister January 2014

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