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OUTSIDE SALES CAN BE A LOT OF FUN! Sales Rep Needed If You Love Outside Sales, We’ve Got Proven Products! Check out our websites beginning with www.texastwister.us and our online editions. If you are interested, please send your resume to: ginger@texastwister.us. We’re looking for a motivated, organized self starter that can manage their time over a large area and many different types of projects. Outside sales is the main focus. However, as we also meet the needs of our customers with internet marketing, we need someone with those skills and that can bring fresh ideas with a leadership attitude! We’re constantly looking for new ways to promote our customers. Outside Sales Experience and References Required
COME GROW WITH US!
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Egret Island By Ginger Lane Or, at least that’s what I’ve come to call this place located on Hwy 154 between Yantis and Quitman. I’ve been fascinated with this tiny patch of land for years. It’s located on Lake Fork and when I first saw it, I thought how cool it would be to explore it. That’s been about 20 years ago. It was a beautiful heavily wooded island. Then, several years ago, I crossed the bridge and it was still covered in thick green trees, but there was a new addition. It was an amazing sight. The green trees were covered in white and at a closer look, it was egrets. There were so many birds on the island; it almost looked like one big cloud has completely covered it. And, just a few years ago, I was shocked when I drove by and saw it as it is now in the photo. You can see that the egrets still migrate there, but the day I took this photo, there were only a few of them compared to what I’ve seen in the past. The egrets nesting on what was a thing of beauty destroyed all the trees that once thrived there.
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June, 2015
Texas Twister
DELIBERATION OF JURY DUTY
By Ginger Lane
Deliberation is a process of thoughtfully weighing options. It’s been several years ago that I got my notice of jury duty. I wish this was an audio so you could hear how my mind read it off to me. It sounded like a dark thundering ominous voice. As you all probably know, you have several days to prepare to be there, so each and every day, I’d think about how long the trial might go on. What kind of trial would it be? Could I be a good juror? I didn’t have time to be there. How could I possibly take off work? This could be a disaster on my schedule! There was time spent thinking of ways to get out of it. And, for days, the chant began in my head, “Don’t pick me. Don’t pick me!” The fateful day finally arrived and as I showed up, so did at least one hundred other people. After a brief amount of time, many were released, but not me. Over and over and over, I kept thinking, “Don’t pick me.” Those of us who remained were shuffled into another court room. I was beginning to feel like I might be chosen and I revved up the ‘Don’t pick me’, ‘Don’t pick me’. We were each asked questions about how did we feel about one thing then another and who knew who in the room. Then, it was over in a flash. I was dismissed. My first thought after being dismissed was, “Hey! What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t you pick me?” (Humans are very funny creatures.)
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Pithy Quotes from Honore de Balzac, French Novelist, b. 1799, d. 1850 Equality may perhaps be a right, but no power on earth can ever turn it into a fact. Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies. In diving to the bottom of pleasure we bring up more gravel than pearls.
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Quick Fact 886: Victor Lustig was a con-artist who managed to sell the Eiffel Tower to a scrap metal dealer and get away with it. He used forged government documents, combined with newspaper articles lamenting how expensive the tower was for the city to maintain. With the first sale, he not only was paid for the Eiffel Tower, but also managed to get a bribe by the contractor who wanted his bid to be chosen. He then fled Paris, only to return a month later when the winning contractor, Andre Poisson, didn’t report the matter to the police because of the embarrassment it would have brought. Lustig then tried to sell the tower again, this time, though, the winning bidder double checked with the authorities before paying; ultimately finding out it was a scam. However, Lustig was able to flee before he could be arrested. He was ultimately captured in America and charged with unrelated crimes after he was turned in by his girlfriend, Billy May, who had found out he was sleeping with another woman. Hell hath no fury and all that. He died of pneumonia in Alcatraz in 1947 while serving a 20 year prison sentence. www.todayifoundout.com
Photo: “Victor Lustig” by Source. Licensed under Fair use via Wikipedia - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Victor_ Lustig.jpg#/media/File:Victor_Lustig.jpg
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LOVE OLDER WOMEN She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, “hey old woman, have you ever danced?” The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, “no, i never did dance...Never really wanted to.” A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now,” and started shooting at the old woman’s feet. The old woman prospector not wanting to get her toe blown off -- started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands, as she quietly said, “son, have you ever kissed a mule’s rear end?” The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “no m’am ... But... I’ve always wanted to.” There are a few lessons here for all of us: 1 - Never be arrogant. 2 - Don’t waste ammunition. 3 - Whiskey makes you think you’re smarter than you are. 4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power. 5 - Don’t mess with older women; they didn’t get older by being stupid. I just love a story with a happy ending.
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AND GOD LOOKED DOWN...
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good. So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember its God ‘ s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath. Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older 9. Death is the number 1 killer in the world. 8. Life is sexually transmitted. 7. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. 6. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. 5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. 4. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. 3. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. 2. In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. 1. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow .
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Custom Sewing Singing Telegrams Character Rentals Costumes for Sale or Rent Tuxedo Rentals
Make It Fit! Alterations
Costumes by Marie 903-454-4900 2401 Johnson Street Greenville, TX 75401 Marie Smith Owner
June, 2015
My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Alex playing calmly in the woods. “Listen to me, Alex,” his mother said sharply. “From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?” Alex thought about that for a moment and said, “Okay. Disney World.” ***** For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers. At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people. The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question, “Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?” “Because I fit in the chairs.” She got the job. ***** Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, “Can we drink beer on the beach?” “Sure,” she said, “but I have to finish the rest of the rooms beforehand.” ***** Observing The Baby One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. “A penny for your thoughts,” she said. “It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $67.50.”
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George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot. The Washington Post : “President Bush crosses the Potomac River”. The Washington Time : “Bush’s conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat”. NPR : “Bush can’t swim”! ***** A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor. As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!” The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. “Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.” “Why?” asked the pilot. “Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation. After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?”
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Three men: an editor, a photographer, and a journalist are covering a political convention in Miami. They decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. They rub the lamp jokingly and a genie appears and says “Normally I would grant you three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant you each one wish.” The photographer goes first. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living in a huge house in St. Thomas with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him on off to St. Thomas. The journalist went next. “I would like to spend the rest of my life living on a huge yacht cruising the Mediterranean with no money worries.” The genie granted him his wish and sent him off to the Mediterranean. Last, but not least, it was the editor’s turn. “And what would your wish be?” asked the genie. “I want them both back after lunch” replied the editor, “the deadline for tomorrow’s newspaper is in about ten hours.
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June, 2015 PARAPROSDOKIAN According to Wikipedia: “A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence, phrase, or larger discourse is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.[1] Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.” 1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it. 2. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 3. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong. 4. War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 5 Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. 6. They begin the evening news with ‘Good Evening,’ then proceed to tell you why it isn’t. 7. To steal ideas from someone is plagiarism. To steal from many is called research. 8. In filling in an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR.’ 9. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. 10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they look sexy. 11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. 12. A clear conscience is the sign of a bad memory. 13. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure. 14. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be. Nor is there any future in it. 15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 16. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car. 17. Finally : I’m supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous. ***** I don’t know why some people change churches; What difference does it make which one you stay home from? One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing. ***** A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, “Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.” ***** Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband. ***** A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letter ‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’ “Can you read this?” the optician asked. “Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.” ***** Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, “I must tell you all something. We have a case of rubeola in the convent.” “Thank God,” said an elderly nun at the back. “I’m so tired of chardonnay.”
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Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer’s backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA’s response was just one sentence, “THAW THE CHICKEN!” ***** A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!” Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.” The newsboy ignored him and went on, calling out, “Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!” ***** When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and choked it to sleep with his two hands. A local journalist saw this happen, congratulated the man and told him he wanted to write a story called, “Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal.” The hero told the journalist that he wasn’t from that town. “Well, then,” the journalist said, “the story will be called, ‘Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog’.” “Actually,” the man said, “I’m from Connecticut.” “In that case,” the journalist said in a huff, “the story will be called, ‘Yankee Kills Family Pet’.”
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ROOFING
Deal direct with the Roofer. 30 yrs experience call for Free Lowest estimate! Rickey Casey 903-356-5001 cell 903-850-0463 INSURANCE Motorcycle Insurance Looking for Low Rates? We’ve Got Them! 903-356-6500 adam@trustsia.com www.trustsia.com 108 W Main St ( Down Town ) Quinlan
SELLING YOUR PROPERTY? Check out our newest magazine: East Texas Properties or go online at: www.easttexaspropertiesmagazine.com
CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840 CALL RCO 903-883-4840
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June, 2015 past or present, tell them how much you appreciate them and their service to this country. I love pizza, but it’s so high in calories and carbs so I found this one and hope you like it. It’s better than not having any at all.
Starch.
2 Servings Ingredients 2 piece English Muffin 1/2 cup pizza sauce, original 1/2 cup low fat shredded mozzarella cheese 3 Tbsp chopped green bell peppers 3 Tbsp fresh mushroom slices 1 pinch Italian seasoning Directions Toast the English muffin until slightly brown. Top muffin with pizza sauce, vegetables and low fat cheese. Sprinkle with Italian seasoning as desired. Return to toaster oven (or regular oven preheated to 350 degrees F.) Heat until cheese melts. Nutritional Value: Amount per serving Calories 183.2, Total Carbs 23.0 g, Dietary Fiber 3.1 g, Sugars 3.4 g, Total Fat 5.5 g, Saturated Fat 2.9 g, Unsaturated Fat 0.1 g, Potassium 44.9 mg, Protein 12.1 g, Sodium 585.2 mg Dietary Exchanges: 1/2 Fat, 1 Meat, 1/2 other Carbs, 1
12 Servings Ingredients 2 eggs 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1 cup cider vinegar 1 Tbsp salt 1 1/2 tsp poultry seasoning 1/4 tsp black pepper Directions In a blender or food processor, combine the eggs, oil and vinegar, salt, poultry seasoning and ground black pepper. Use this sauce to baste the chicken when grilling or marinate the chicken in the sauce in the refrigerator for up to 1 1/2 hours before grilling. Nutritional Values per serving: Calories 91.5, Total Carbs 0.2 g, Sugars 0.1 g, Total Fat 10.0 g, Saturated Fat 1.6 g, Unsaturated Fat 6.0 g, Potassium 12.6 mg, Sodium 593.1 mg Dietary Exchanges: 2 Fat, 1/2 Meat Until next month, happy eating!
Anytime Pizza
Hello Texas Twister Readers, I want to wish my beautiful granddaughter, Cheyanne, a Happy Birthday and my handsome young grandson, Dylan, a Happy Birthday also. Nana loves you both very much. And a Happy Birthday to a very good friend and 42 partner, Vicki Duff. I don’t want to leave out all the great Dads out there, Happy Father’s Day! Hope you are all safe and sound from all this bad weather we have been having. I have said my prayers for all of us to be safe. And I pray for those that have lost everything. We have planted our garden in huge pots since the ground is to wet to plant seeds and other things. I have not seen this much rain in a long time. But God knows what’s best, so I’m leaving it up to Him. I want to take this time to thank all our service men and women and their family, for all they do for us and the sacrifices they’ve made for us. So, if you see one,
Texas Twister ***** I like Bar-B-Que sauce but not really crazy about store bought sauce, so I found this one for chicken and I don’t know why you couldn’t use it on other meats.
Barbeque Sauce for Chicken
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Houston Place Rental Properties office is located in downtown Quinlan, right next to the three buffalo statues. Karen Houston, the owner, started buying rental properties in Dallas and Rockwall while her children were young. She strived to help others have nice homes to rent while starting her own little business in order to be able to be a stay at home mom. The original goal of two or three properties has now escalated into commercial, multifamily, houses, ranches, trailers and more than over a hundred to choose from. Karen has a special fondness towards Hunt County properties due to her family having enjoyed Quinlan for over five generations! Her grandfather, L.B. Houston purchased a farm off of Hwy 276 in 1949. She has a goal of turning her downtown lots into a small park to add to the beautification of Quinlan. It has taken her over 7 years to piece together the future park that sits right in the middle of Quinlan, and will hopefully be available for Houston Place Tenants to enjoy in the near future. Houston Place Properties is also working on putting together a non-profit program to help young teenage moms and or dads by allowing them to live for free for 6 months to a year while regrouping, being educated and finding jobs. Karen also hopes to help provide training and incentives when they find do themselves in what they feel to be this hopeless situation. The goal will be to teach them to be able to rise up to the future and raise wonderful children in a very happy, healthy and safe environment. Houston Place strives to have newly remodeled and updated properties at a great affordable price. For information on rental properties or to meet with Ms. Houston please contact her at 469-867-9511.
We, Norman and Felissa Davis co-founders of CHOOSE-HEALTH, have lived outside of Quinlan since 2007. We moved from Garland, TX and have a small piece of land. In the past, we have enjoyed working with the LTRCC as community members, volunteers, and now as business owners and members of the LTRCC. At CHOOSE-HEALTH , we are devoted to helping people with their daily, personal choices towards a healthier lifestyle. We are distributers of doTERRA Essential Oils and hold FREE workshops at our Quinlan location of 8866 Hwy 34S Suite D (D Earls building next to McDonalds) on Tuesday evenings. We also have FREE Make and Take Workshops at The Back Patio 4623 I-30 W Caddo Mills on Thursday evenings. For more details on upcoming events and office hours please visit our website www. choose-health.us or email us at info@choose-health.us or call us at 214-282-7884. We are dedicated to ‘Helping you CHOOSE-HEALTH one day at a time’.
We are a new fellowship of Believers - people who have put their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. We’re not ashamed to attempt to stand tall with Christ, and we’re getting better at it every day. We will always be a work in progress. We are meeting for worship every Sunday at 10am where Jesus Christ is King all day long. Why We Are Here Beginnings was planted in order to reach people in Tawakoni and the Greater Lake Area who are disconnected from God and from God’s people. Our methods and approaches are designed to help everyone come to belong to the family of God here at Beginnings. We desire to love as we have been loved and to share that tremendous love with the people all around us. Living this life of love will shape us into a people who... ...find one more new beginning together
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...a new beginning 4 u New Beginnings Tawakoni Meeting at: Lake Tawakoni Regional Chamber of Commerce 100 W. Hwy 276 West Tawakoni, Texas 75474 Phone: 903-268-3753 Fax: Call to arrange fax. Mailing Address: 713 Eider Duck, West Tawakoni, TX 75474
What began as a personal home-based business in 2005 providing a unique gift-giving solution for people in our local community of Quinlan, TX, has grown into a business allowing me to provide a complete line of balloons and gift baskets. My new location is located at 500 Highway 34 South, Suite #6, in Quinlan, TX. I know how important it is to send the perfect gift or plan the perfect party to convey your thoughts and feelings - and who doesn’t love balloons?! I love creating exciting themed balloon bouquets and baskets representing all occasions in life from birthdays and get well gifts, to graduation, weddings and new babies. And let’s not forget the holidays! Outstanding customer service is the hallmark of my business as it continues to grow. I am happy to assist you with any questions you might have from basket content and customization questions to delivery options - (with free local delivery). I build each bouquet as if I were giving it as a gift myself with thoughtful care and attention to detail. I pride myself on creating the perfect gift giving experience. Call Eula Wilson at 903-441-2279, at The Gift Express for your next event!
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June, 2015 BUSY WOMANS CHICKEN DINNER 1 can crescent rolls 2 or 3 Skinless chicken breasts baked and cut into strips 1 can cream of mushroom soup or 1 can cheddar soup ½ a soup can of chicken broth ½ a soup can of water ½ C chopped onion ½ C chopped or sliced green olives with pimentos
June is the month for Father’s Day! If your father is like mine, a steak is an easy button favorite meal! Add some hickory to smoke it, and I’m (oops, I mean)….You’re a winner. But it’s also the month for vacations, reunions, lazy days by the pool and work in the yard, hmm, not necessarily in that order. I’ve got a dip that I love because of the green olives, an easy one dish dinner, toss in a salad and dinner is ready. Also, something to take to any getto-gether, a honey-bun cake! These are all so YUMMM that well, make them and you’ll see! Green Olive Drip 1 lb. ground beef 1 medium sweet red pepper, chopped 1 small onion, chopped 1 can 16 oz. refried beans
1 jar 16 oz. mild salsa
2 C 8 oz/ shredded mozzarella cheese 2 C 8 oz shredded cheddar cheese 1 jar 5 ¾ oz. sliced green olives with pimentos, drained Tortilla & or Pita chips In a large skillet, cook the beef, pepper & onion over until meat is no longer pink; drain, transfer to a greased 3-qt. slow cooker. Add the beans, salsa, cheese & olives. Cover & cook on low for 3-4 hours or until cheese is melted, stirring occasionally. Serve with chips. And it’s YUMMM!!!!
(don’t like olives, use ½ C green & red peppers) ½ C grated cheddar cheese or Several slices of your favorite cheese cut cross ways to fit on the crescent rolls Preheat oven to 350°. Spray or butter a deep baking dish and set aside. Open can of rolls and separate. On each crescent place cheese, either grated or sliced, the top with chicken and roll as directed on roll covering. Place in the baking dish. Mix soup, broth, water, onion, olives or peppers and pour over the rolls. Bake in oven for 35 – 40 minutes. Let set about 10 minutes so soup will thicken up a bit! And YUMMMMM!! Oh My YES!!!! Honey Bun Cake! 1 yellow cake mix 3/4 cup oil 4 eggs 8 oz sour cream 1 cup brown sugar 1 Tablespoon cinnamon 2 cups powdered sugar
4 Tablespoons milk
1 Table-
spoon vanilla extract Mix cake mix, oil, eggs, and sour cream by hand, about 50 strokes. Put half the batter in 9 x 13 pan. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon and spread over entire cake. Spread the rest of the batter on top. Use a knife to make swirls in the cake. Bake at 325 degrees for about 40 minutes. Blend powdered sugar, milk and vanilla extract and spread on warm cake.
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Mr. Marcus was briefing his client, who was about to tes-
sandwiches in here!” The bankers looked at each other,
with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he
tify in his own defense. “You must swear to tell the com-
shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes
plete truth. Do you understand?” The client replied that
*****
before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee
he did. Then lawyer then asked, “Do you know what will
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign
off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he
happen if you don’t tell the truth?” The client looked back
comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.” Before he knows
could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.
and said, “I imagine that our side will win.”
it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under
Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join
*****
the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a po-
him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly.
A lawyer wakes up after surgery, he asks, “Why are all
lice car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks
He didn’t hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently
the blinds drawn? The nurse answers, “There’s a big fire
around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and
and didn’t waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th
across the street, and we didn’t want you to think the op-
says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was
fairway and the young man found himself with a tough
eration was a failure.”
delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball -
*****
*****
and directly between his ball and the green. After several
“I need a raise in my commission,” the real estate agent
A dying grandma tells her grandchild, “I want to leave
minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally
said to his manager. “There are three other companies
you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the har-
said, “You know, when I was your age I’d hit the ball right
after me.” “Is that so?” asked the manager. “What other
vest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse
over that tree.” With that challenge placed before him, the
companies are after you?” “The electric company, the
and $24,548,750.45 in cash.” The grandchild, absolutely
youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into
telephone company, and the gas company.”
floored and about to become rich says, “Oh grandma, you
the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground
*****
are SO generous! I didn’t even know you had a farm.
not a foot from where it had originally lay. The old man
Two bankers went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
Where is it?” With her last breath, Grandma whispered,
offered one more comment, “Of course, when I was your
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and
“Facebook...”
age that pine tree was only three feet tall.”
started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and
*****
marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself