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The Laws of Ultimate Reality Law of Gravity Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible crevice furthest away from you. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Random Numbers If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire while running late for work. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of the Bath When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of the Theater At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. The Starbucks Law As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Murphy’s Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/ rug. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance If the shoe fits, it’s ugly. Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking A closed mouth gathers no feet. Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Doctors’ Law If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

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TRUE OR FALSE Are the statements below true or false? 1. A prisoner could escape using salsa to corrode the bars of his cell. 2.You canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t teach an old dog new tricks. 3. Pain from eating hot peppers can be cured by milk. 4. An enterprising student financed his college education by soliciting one-cent donations. 5. Arriving late to class, a student mistook examples of unsolvable math problems on the blackboard for a homework assignment and solved them. Answers on Page 26

Head Lines Did they really print that? Something Went Wrong in Jet crash, Experts Say Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Miners Refuse to Work After Death Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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April, 2009

Solution on Page 26

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April, 2009

Hi Everyone, Are you enjoying these nice warm days, we sure are. These recipes are a couple of my favorites and my familyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s also. I hope you enjoy them as well. If you would like a certain recipe, then just email me and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll try and find it and post it here in the Texas Twister for you. Email me at auntpat@texastwister.us Peach Dump Cake Prep Time: 10 Minutes Cook Time: 45 Minutes Ready In: 55 Minutes INGREDIENTS: 2 (16 ounce) cans peaches in heavy syrup 1 (18.25 ounce) package yellow cake mix 1/2 cup butter 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, or to taste DIRECTIONS: 1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). 2. Empty peaches into the bottom of one 9 x 13 inch pan. Cover with the dry cake mix and press down firmly. Cut butter into small pieces and place on top of cake mix. Sprinkle top with cinnamon. 3. Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 45 minutes. Nutritional Information Servings Per Recipe: 24 Amount Per Serving Calories: 155 Total Carbs: 24.3 g ,Cholesterol: 11 mg ,Total Fat: 6.4 g ********************************************** Chicken Spaghetti Casserole Prep Time 15 minutes Cook Time 30 minutes Yields 1 cup Chicken and spaghetti baked in a delicious cream of mushroom sauce. INGREDIENTS: 1 1/2 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts, halved 1/4 lb spaghetti pasta 5 1/3 oz Soup, cream of mushroom, condensed, canned, 1/2 can, undiluted 1/2 cup fat free milk 1/2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp black pepper 2 oz Mushrooms, canned, drained, slices, drained 1 cooking spray DIRECTIONS: 1. Begin by combining the chicken with enough water to cover it in a large skillet; cover and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat, and then simmer for about 20 minutes, or until the chicken is done. Drain the chicken, chop it, and set aside. 2. Cook the spaghetti according to the package directions, omitting any salt and fat. Drain, and set aside. 3 In a small saucepan, combine the soup, milk, and seasonings, stirring well to mix. 4. Preheat your oven to 325 degrees F and then layer the chicken, spaghetti, soup mixture, and mushrooms in a 12 x 8 x 2-inch baking dish. 5. Bake for roughly 30 to 45 minutes, or until thoroughly heated.

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What is a Cat?

Cats do what they want. They rarely listen to you. They’re totally unpredictable. When you want to play, they want to be alone. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They expect you to cater to their every whim. They’re moody. CONCLUSION: They’re tiny women in little fur coats.

April, 2009

What is a Dog?

Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. They growl when they are not happy. When you want to play, they want to play. When you want to be alone, they want to play. They leave their toys everywhere. CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats

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April, 2009

Texas Twister

rs rO de e in 0007 n o Ph -714903

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*Our Super Sopa Frybread Tacos are topped with refried beans, lettuce, cheese, pico de gallo and your choice of fantastic meat toppings: Fajita Chicken, Fajita Steak, Seasoned Ground Beef and Green Chile Chicken Chipotle! Bridge *Sopa Taco frybread desserts are out of this world! 515 *Texans you haven't had it so good! To Emory Taco Public Sopa 17 F 6 Big Burritos, Frybread Tacos, Taco Salads and Soups. 9 M Boat Ramp FM 17 51 ’s Delivery gy D g o r F *Crispy corn tacos and tostadas \$1.25 to \$1.75 rance p Ent m a R *We have Coffee and Sodas To Alba *We will have you on your way fast with fresh great tasting food at fair prices. rs rde O n Sopa Taco is here to service our community Thursday to Sunday 6am to 7pm. hone i -0007 P 4 Located at 5196 N. FM17. 3/4 mile south of 515 next to Froggy D's Tackle. 903-71

Fickle?

I remember the time I was called for jury duty. I was in a room

with well over a hundred other people for starters. I had started my morning hoping and praying they wouldn’t choose me. I believe being involved in the justice system is our duty, but, I really didn’t want to take time off from work. And, I’m a bit hyper, so I was dreading being confined for any length of time. And, I thought of a million reasons I really needed to be somewhere else.

We went through the first elimination process, and I was held

over. “Don’t pick me, don’t pick me.” I told myself over and over. There were probably 30 or 40 of us at this point, and they asked us all several questions. I knew I was going to be chosen, but I kept up my “Don’t pick me, don’t pick me.” Then, when the final jurors were picked........... they didn’t choose me!!! Oh, my gosh! Instantly, I thought, “What’s wrong with me?” What had I done wrong, answered wrong? As silly as my thoughts of rejection were, suddenly, I was wishing they had chosen me!

Maybe they should send out jury notices announcing that we

have been denied to serve on jury duty. They might be swamped with volunteers!

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March madness has come and gone. Madness is right! Fish biting one day and cold fronts shutting them down the next. We have had some really good fish this month. Most of our fish have been coming in six to ten feet of water off of secondary points with timber. The bigger females are staging up on these points waiting to come in and spawn.With the cold fronts hitting, these bass will be staging there for a while. So slow roll a revenge vibrator with a 3.5 inch Lake Fork Magic Shad in pearl white or albino shad, bumping the tree stumps and letting it fall then jerking it up. The bite will come as soon as you start retrieving again. Also, fish the Lake Fork Zig-Zag in watermellon and green pumpkin colors. Dip the tail in chartruese die and fish waitless. Let the bait go to the bottom and let it sit there for a count of 20, then move the bait no more than 6 to 8 inches at a time. The bass will hit real lite, so be a line watcher and ready for the

April, 2009

slightest movement of your line or a spongy feeling, set the hook and hang on. Watch for bedding fish in the shallows and have a white tube or lizard tied on with a quarter or half ounce bullet weight and flip past the bed and bring the bait slowly into the bed. If the fish swims off, watch to see if it comes back and makes a circle or just swims off. If it comes back, then that is a catchable fish. Work with it untill it bites then hang on for some fast action. If you need to book a trip or need some info you can reach me at Tim Walkers Guide Service at 817-999-7876. For all your tackle needs come to Froggy Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Bait and Tackle on FM 17 or call at 903-765-2100. Bob and Janie will help you with any fishing opportunities you may have.

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Texas Twister

CAN BEING OUT IN THE COLD WITH WET HAIR GIVE YOU A COLD?

The common cold is a virus. It is caught and spread by the transfer of bacteria. Cold temperatures can actually help prevent colds by weakening airborne bacteria. What CAN make you more prone to illness, is tiring or weakening your body, which makes it harder to fight infection. Becoming cold to the point of shivering will lower body temperature, which can lower your immune system - this is another contributor to catching viruses. Humans lose heat rapidly through their head, which is a process that would accelerate with wet hair - if you let yourself get chilled to the point of shivering, or worse, to the point when shivering stops, you would lower your immune system and therefore be more likely to catch a cold. So, having wet hair and being in cold air alone wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make you sick, but letting your self get overly chilled and/or tired might. (www.wikianswers.com)

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Powerlifting at Caddo Mills Feb. 21

Spring Awards 2009

Photo Right - The Fox Pride Awards: Dylan Ragan, Ryan Calender, and Jarid Logan.

BiDistrict Win Thurs. Feb. 26

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April, 2009 Faith isBy Pastors a Lifestyle Dean & Ruth Remmers FaithisaLifestyle@yahoo.com

Texas Twister none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts 4:12 Get up! Get up! Get up! Get up out of that whale’s belly! You are the child of the Most High God, and that is not the place that He has prepared for you. Get up into your rightful place as His child, a place of peace and prosperity. He didn’t leave you—He’s still right there waiting for you to let Him do things His way in you and through you. Here’s your choice today: Keep struggling to make it happen or let Him be in you all He wants to be. Yield. Let go. Turn loose of the controls and step out of the way. Say this to the Father, “Forgive me for doing it my way. You lead; I’ll follow. I want Your best, so I give You my all. Teach me Your ways, Lord. I’ll obey You no matter what the cost. In Jesus’ Name, amen.”

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I did not know them when I got to the first grade. Our day cares now do so much to give children a head start in school. When their minds are the most open to learning, day cares are not just baby sitters anymore. They are the first stepping stone to a great education!

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April, 2009

I wrote a couple of months ago about a snake skin I found in my house. I tricked myself into believing it got in there all by itself. Well, as Paul Harvey would say, now for the rest of the story. I office out of my house. Misty Hensley, my office administrator, and I were working last week. I went to my kitchen. I saw my cat intently looking at something under my kitchen table. My country lifestyle immediately changed forever. There was a snake wrapped about the leg of the table. I just backed out of the room. Misty and I are always playing jokes on one another. “Misty, I know you aren’t going to believe me, but there is a snake in the kitchen, a big one.” She was a bit leery at first, but followed me back to where the cat was keeping watch. THIS THING WAS HUGE! Well, for a snake inside my house, it was huge. We traded ideas about what to do. My compassion went straight out the window, and I voted for the death penalty. Misty, however, thought it would be a good idea to ‘catch and release’. Now, I couldn’t tell for sure, but from where I was standing, the snake looked to be about 3 ft. long. And, Misty’s plan did not sound good to me at all. But, I let her talk me into trying. Mistake #1

She found a box that was about 12”x12”. This is what we can call mistake #2. We had a shovel. The snake still hadn’t moved even with her first scoop towards the box. The box, however, did move. Her next bright idea was for me to get on a nearby chair, reach way over, and hold it in place. I don’t know where my last brain cell was at the time, but I went along with the plan. And, this will be mistake #3. BAD MOVE! The snake wasn’t going to go peacefully into the box. It did not, however, have a problem finding it’s way under the chair. Yep, the chair I was standing on. Well, I wasn’t standing on it for long as I did a Superman leap back to the door. As you can imagine, we are hooping and screaming like little girls by this time. Misty, who really wouldn’t hurt a fly, is now yelling, “Kill it! Kill It!” I suddenly realize that I have never killed anything bigger than an insect, but the snake now has to die........if we can find it. Back in the doorway, where we started this little venture, we are plotting our next move. We are both shaking. We can’t see the snake. But Sweet Pea, my hero cat, has found it’s hiding place. And, maybe before we are ready, herds it back into the open. I have my shovel, and start my attack. THERE! I GOT IT!! I have it pinned to the floor with the shovel. But, plan B wasn’t going well either. I couldn’t kill it. Using all my strength, I could hold the snake in one place, but that was it. As I was screaming for Misty to help, I realized I was stuck there, too. I couldn’t let go. The snake might be lost in my house forever, or worse, it might come straight at me. Now, I don’t know my poisonous or non-poisonous snakes, but if they are anywhere around me, I am assuming they can do some harm. Misty and I are both screaming ideas of what to

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April, 2009

Q. Is it true that there have been cases of the deceased fingernails and hair growing after they have died? Jamie (Tawakoni) A. Following years of earth burial; some remains can have the illusion of longer nails and hair. For hundreds of years, it was thought that this meant they continued their natural growth pattern long after the heart ceased to beat. It is now known that this so-called ‘phenomenon’ is just the natural process of dehydration that the body goes through following death. The tissues lose moisture and ‘pull back’ or dehydrate; allowing for the appearance of longer hair and nails. I would also like to say that the dehydration process of a body is usually short and is greatly affected by the burial environment. Perhaps you have seen photos of an unwrapped Egyptian mummy. Because of the dry desert environment, the natural process of the body’s breakdown is altered due the extreme dehydration. That’s the reason that most mummies have very long nails. And why will you never see hair on a mummy? Due to the constant outbreak of sand lice, most Egyptian people completely shaved their heads and wore wigs to special occasions. (If you have a question that you would like answered in this column, please write to ASK THE DIRECTOR c/o Ingram Funeral Home P.O. Box 2218 Quinlan, Texas 75474).

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April, 2009

Word Puzzle

Solution on Page 18

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FHS Blue Belles Rock the House in Competitions

The Quinlan-Ford High School Blue Belle drill team went to competition at Poteet High School this past Saturday in Mesquite, Texas and swept the competition. According to Tammie Anthony, Belle Director, “The girls performed three routines and competed head to head with drill teams from Granbury, Paradise, Shoemaker, West, Mabank, and McGregor High Schools. This is the largest division in the entire competition! I am so proud of the girls and all of their hard work this year!” Awards that the Belles captured include: Best in Jazz, Best in Modern, Best in Novelty, Applause award for outstanding showmanship in novelty, Sweepstakes, Judges Award, and Grand Champion! Anthony further notes, “This is the 5th Grand Champion Trophy in a row that they girls have won.”

April, 2009

TMS Blue Babes Sweep Competitions

The TMS Blue Babes competed in the Showtime International’s Dallas Dance Spectacular this last Saturday, March 7, 2009. According to Babe Instructor Tiffany Martin, “The Babes received Best in Category Jazz, Best in Category Hip Hop, Best in Category Officer Lyrical, Judges Award, First Division for Officer Lyrical, and Sweepstakes! I am very excited for the girls. They’ve worked so hard this year.”

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FHS Boys Basketball All-District Selections Announced

The FHS Varsity Basketball All-District selections have been announced. This year, selections include: Michael Dooley Sr., 1st team - unanimous All District; Brandon Pumphrey, 1st team - All District; Brock Bhatti, Honorable Mention; Ty Dyess, Honorable mention; Robert Watson, 2nd Team All District According to Head Boys Basketball coach Dave Fearing, “I am very proud of this year’s team and these boys. They played hard all season.” The team finished 22-10 on the season and 6-4 in district and Bi-District. JMECC, CES and BIS - Set to Begin F.R.E.D. (Fathers Reading Every Day)

Students in Mrs. Joy Tadlock’s 2nd grade class have adopted Major David Morgan, Command Team, Dagger Brigade, 1st Infantry Division out of Fort Riley, Kansas. According to Morgan, his division is the oldest in the army with a history dating back to the Revolutionary War. The class has sent cards, letters, and care packages to Morgan. Morgan recently sent Mrs. Tadlock’s class a United States Flag that was flown over Camp Victory in the heart of Baghdad, Iraq. Morgan also goes on to say in a letter written to students, “Thank you so much for the care package, it meant a lot to me and my soldiers. We hung all the students’ cards on the walls of our office to remind us of home and to help celebrate the season. Your thoughts went out to us over the holidays and lifted our spirits and warmed our hearts.”

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April, 2009

BEAUTY, ETC.

TRANSMISSIONS

AVON WANTED Complete rebuilt 4L60E or 4L65E by a experiAvon Representatives for my new unit. \$10 Sign enced rebuilder with over 40 yrs experience, WritUp. Great Extra Income or just buy products at ten warranty Can be installedin 1993 to 2005 deep discount for yourself. Call Cindy Johnson @ G.M, pickups, suv’s, 2 or 4 wheel drive. FREE ES903-268-6271 or email ceejaysAVON@ aol.com TIMATE! Serving Hunt, Rains, and Wood Counties Several to choose from Call 903-372-1373 or INSURANCE 903-765-2100. Pick up and delivery for Lake Fork Area Free auto, home, life or business quotes at: www.slaughteragency.com and enter our monthly contest! Log onto www.slaughteragency.com for a chance to win a \$25.00 Walmart Gift Card Need an SR22? Need Non-Owners Liability Insurance? Slaughter Insurance has the solution. We can issue a SR22 ON THE SPOT! Call 903-356-4830

JEANS Wed Special.......Fill a bag for 5.00 Patsy Jean’s Bargain \$hack 2025 Hwy 276 West Tawakoni Red Building on Right Before 2 Mile Bridge Open Tues-Sat 10AM – 5PM Closed Sun & Mon Little Bit of Everything \$ave \$ave \$ave

PLUMBING POINT PLUMBING

Serving Rains County and surrounding area. John Ellsworth Master Plumber 903-513-5476 Lic#M37292

REAL ESTATE NORWALK TIMBER

Buyer of Timber & Timber Land (903)746-5288 Top Dollar Paid for Pine & Hardwood Finders Fee Paid! No Tract Too Small or Large Free Estimates Timber Management Available

ROOFING

Deal direct with the Roofer. 30 yrs experience call for Free Lowest estimate! Rickey Casey 903-356-5001 cell 903-850-0463

SEWING Repairs * Alterations * Custom Work Hems * Quilts * ReStyles Affordable Prices * Fast Turn-around 8709 Wesley Suite C Greenville, Tx 682-554-4550 38 Years Experience THE STUDIO “Let Us Sew It For You!”

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WELDING & FENCING

Welding & Fencing , Pipe & Wire Have Welder Will Travel Ronnie West 903-765-2697 Puzzle on Page 16

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April, 2009

RCTV Students Bring Home National Award

Front row Left to right: Shelby Morgan, Amanda Boudreaux, Kim Carson, Joy Martindale, Payton Williams, Sarah Shelton, Shayla Wright, Nick Lamb Back row: Hannah Palmer, Cameron Whitney, Sponsor Steve Vaughn, Rebekah Schehrer

Students from Royse City High School brought home a national award in video production last week as part of the Student Television Network Convention in Orlando Florida. Eleven students from RCHS attended the national convention for high school broadcasting students, competing in several events including anchoring, music video and commercial categories. The team of sophomores, Payton Williams, Grace Martindale, Kim Carson and Sarah Shelton, won second-place in the commercial category for their creation about the Rosen Plaza Hotel – host of the convention. “It was a difficult process, but in the end everything came together,” said Martindale. The group had five hours to videotape and two hours to edit the final version. “Our entire group is very pleased with the outcome,” she added. They won their award of 44 schools in the event. Seniors Nick Lamb and Shayla Wright and sophomores Cameron Whitney and Hannah Palmer competed in the music video competition. They were given a song they had never heard before and had nine hours to video and edit their final product. “While we didn’t place, we are proud of our video,” said Lamb who is headed to the University of Texas Film School this fall. Also competing was Senior Shelby Morgan in the anchoring competition. She was given information and asked to compose it into broadcast format before being videotaped by Channel One at their anchor desk.

“It was definitely stressful and intense, but it was an amazing experience,” said Morgan. Steve Vaughn, video production teacher and advisor for RCTV said, “the students really excelled this year. They practiced for weeks prior to the competition and it paid off.” Beside competitions, student attended numerous workshops presented by industry professionals and teachers from other schools. More than 1,200 students from 126 schools attended the event. Other students who attended the convention were sophomore Rebekah Schehrer and junior Amanda Boudreaux. This is the third year for RCHS students to attend the convention and they have won awards at each event. This includes honorable mention in the commercial category in 2007 and second place in Live Reporting in 2008. John Roberts of CNN opened the convention and challenged students with his comments about journalism and reporting. In the closing ceremony, Lee Woodruff, wife of ABC reporter Bob Woodruff, presented a special award for a video about war veterans. Lee and her husband started the Bob Woodruff Foundation to help injured soldiers heal from physical and mental injuries. Learn more at remind.org. Student Television Network is the nation’s largest scholastic broadcasting network comprised of high schools and middle schools with an active interest in broadcasting.

Royse City ISD has set the new attendance zones for the four elementary schools and our two intermediate schools. Thanks to everyone who worked with the district and attended the meetings, giving their input on the best alignment for our students. The district appreciates your patience as we re-zone. Rezoning helps to keep our district efficient and our class sizes small.

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Texas Twister

Mix well, ½ C. of soup, beef, breadcrumbs, egg, onions and salt. Shape firmly into a loaf, 8 X 4 inches; place in shallow baking pan. Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour and 15 minutes. In sauce pan, blend rest of soup, water and 2 to 3 Tbs. of drippings from the meatloaf. Heat; stir occasionally. Serve over the meatloaf. Enjoy!!

Corn Pudding

First, I have to thank the reader that sent me the heart burn remedy. I haven’t had to try it yet, but I have learned, as you said, “If the food don’t agree with you, don’t eat it!” So many thanks for the help. We have had nice gentle rains here and now the sun is starting to shine…. spring must be here and warm weather is not far off. Maybe it will be nice for Easter. With it so easy to get spiral hams and dinners to go from you local stores, I thought I’d go with a few good recipes for some old standard comfort foods this month. So go get those fine, spiffy clothes out and then go buy you a new Easter Bonnet. Have a Hoppy Easter!! And Enjoy!

Good Meat Loaf

1- 10 ¾ oz. can of cream of mushroom soup 2 lbs. ground beef ½ C. dry breadcrumbs 1 egg, slightly beaten 1/3 C. chopped onion 1 t. salt 1/3 C. water

2 cans corn (8 ¾ oz ea.) 2 Tbs. oleo, melted 2 eggs slightly beaten 1 t. salt ¾ C. evaporated milk 1/8 t. pepper Mix well all ingredients. Pour into a greased 1 ½ qt. baking dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, until firm. Enjoy!!

Pineapple Delight

(1)1 lg. can crushed pineapple (undrained) (2)1 box yellow cake mix (dry) (3)1 can coconut (4)1 C. chopped pecans (5)2 sticks oleo, cut up Layer all ingredients as above in an 8 X 8 inch ungreased glass pan. Bake at 325 degree for 1 hour or until it tests done. (a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out clean) Enjoy!!

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Make Your Computer Problems Our Problem. When your computer is having issues and feeling blue call us and we can make it all better. A price that is affordable and reasonable for only \$75 dollars a year per computer when you have problems will fix them. This price does not cover parts. So stop beating your keyboard! Stop rebooting just to obtain a temporary fix! Contact us today at 903.269.3700 and let us get you back up and running. If you sign a 4 year contract and pay in advance will provide a 10% discount, such a small price to pay for a piece of mind. Here’s what we provide when you sign a support contract with us! * We evaluate your system and make sure it is performing cor rectly. * Provide a monthly news letter to keep you informed on cur rent fixes and patches. * No matter how many times you have issues with your system call us and well work on it. * Will support certain applications should there be issues with setting them up or configuring them. * Also, if you need help with set-up, configuration or installa tion of a new or existing system.

So call us today G.P.D.G.A (Great People Designing Great Applications) @

903.269.3700

Texas is chicken fried steak and world famous Bar-B-Q. Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome. (guess now the Reliant Stadium too).

What is TEXAS? Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett and Sam Houston National Forests . Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend . Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country. Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country on a hot summer day. Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas. Texas is beaches you can drive on and have many memorable bon-fires with close friends. Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you’re from. Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas. Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork . Texas is Mexican foods like nowhere else, not even Mexico .

Texas is larger-than-life legends like Michael DeBakey, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcet, Janis Joplin, Sandra Bullock, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, George W. Bush, Ann Richards and let’s not forget GEORGE STRAIT, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones, Clay Walker, Mark Chestnut, to name ONLY a few. Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq, Whataburger, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero. Texas is NASA. Texas is huge herds of cattle, beautiful horses and miles of crops. Texas is home to the world famous King Ranch. Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.

Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields. Texas is skies blackened with doves and fields full of deer. Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio. To drive across Texas is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States . Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities. By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U.S. that can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine , and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height - 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state. Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C. And we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to!We can become a republic again at any time the voters of Texas choose, and we included these things as part of the deal when we came on.

Page 22 April, 2009 TEETH TRIVIA • One in every 2,000 babies is born with a tooth. • The average human produces 25,000 quarts of spit in a lifetime, which is enough to fill two swimming pools. • A squirrel and rabbit teeth grow continuously. Their incisors will grow six inches per year but stay short due to the constant wear they receive. • Cats have 30 teeth and dogs have 42. • In the United States, close to 3 million miles of dental floss was purchased in 1996 by dental consumers. • Paul Revere was a practicing dentist. • A crocodile replaces its teeth more than forty times in a lifetime. • Turtles and tortoises are toothless. • A mosquito has 47 teeth. • The Statue of Liberty’s mouth is three feet wide. • An elephant’s tooth can weigh more than six pounds! • Some whales do not have teeth. Instead, they have rows of stiff hair like combs that take food out of the ocean. • Snails are very small but they can have thousands of tiny teeth all lined up in rows. • Minnows have teeth in their throat. • Lemon sharks grow a new set of teeth every two weeks. They grow more than 24,000 new teeth every year! • “Long in the tooth,” meaning “old,” was originally used to describe horses. As horses age, their gums recede, giving the impression that their teeth are growing. The longer the teeth look, the older the horse. • Every person has a unique tongue print. • It takes 17 muscles to smile but 43 to frown.

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NO WHERE ELSE BUT TEXAS, the Ezekiel Airship was the first powered flight. It was built and flown in Pittsburg, Texas (my home town) in 1902. The boys from Kitty Hawk, North Carolina did not get airborne (powered) for another year. In 1898, there was an offer of huge prizes for the invention of a flying machine that could carry a man. And, the man that should have won that prize was Rev. Burrell Cannon. Texas had the flying machine, but North Carolina had the press coverage. Pittsburg media just didn’t get the word out. The Ezekiel Airship was designed by a preacher, saw miller, and inventor, Rev. Burrell Cannon. He got his idea of a flying machine from the Old Testament, the book of Ezekiel. “The appearance of the wheels and their work was like unto the color of beryl; and they four had one likeness; and their appearance was as it were a wheel within the middle of the wheel.” (Ezekiel 1:16) The design was completed around 1900. There

April, 2009 was to be a 26 foot wingspan, wheels within wheels, several levers for control, made of fabric and wood, and it would be powered by a four cylinder gas engine. 10 friends later, with a total of \$20,000 investment, The Ezekiel Airship Manufacturing Company was formed. The airship was built at P. W. Thorsell’s foundry in Pittsburg, and the pilot of the first flight was Gus Stamps, a worker at the Foundry. Stamps and the workers decided to “try it out” in a pasture for the first flight in 1902. Rev. Cannon wasn’t even there to see it. He was at a nearby church preaching. The airship went upward for about 10 feet, then Stamps killed the power when the airship started heading towards a fence. The first flight was about 160 feet. (A year later, the Wright Brothers flew their first powered flight 300 ft.) Needing more financial backing and interest in the manufacturing, Rev. Cannon decided to take the airship and display it in St. Louis. It was to be shipped there by a railroad flat car, but never made it. There was a storm in Texarkana, that blew the airship off and destroyed it. The Wright Brothers came along in 1903, and with full media attention went down in the history books as the first powered flight. It wasn’t until the 1970’s, that Pittsburg fought the historians and won. There is a full sized replica of the Ezekiel Airship displayed in Pittsburg at the Northeast Texas Heritage Center and Museum. There is an official state historical marker in honor of Rev. Cannon and his airship.

WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, ‘You should do it because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, ‘You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee ..’ Wife replies, ‘No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.’ Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’ So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ‘HEBREWS’ THE SILENT TREATMENT A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, ‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM.’ He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’ Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

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Cannon did build a second airship in 1911, but it was also destroyed… during flight. And, that also destroyed any future effort for Cannon to try again.

Photo of the Ezekiel Airship, below, furnished by Northeast Texas Heritage Museum.

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April, 2009

SIGNATURE BOX \$30.00 Balanced nutrition and variety with enough food to feed a family of four for a week. 1.5 lb. New York Strip Steak (4 x 6 oz.) 2 lb. Chicken Breast Stir Fry (Boneless/Skinless Chicken Breast Chunks) 2 lb. Breaded Breast Fillet 1 lb. Steak Fajita Strips 20 oz. Supreme Pizza 28 oz. Jumbo Beef Patties With Gravy 1 lb. All Meat Hot Dogs 10 oz. Individually-Wrapped Cheese (16 slice) 1 lb. Mixed Vegetables 2 lb. French Fries 12 ct. White Corn Tortillas 1 lb. Rice 15 oz. Peach Halves 6 oz. Pancake Mix 32 oz. 2% Shelf Stable Milk Dozen Eggs Dessert SENIOR & CONVENIENCE MEALS \$28.00 For Seniors or People on the Go! Ten perfectly seasoned, nutritionally balanced, fully cooked meals—just heat and serve. Each meal has been developed with the dietary needs of senior citizens in mind, and contains 3 oz. of protein, a starch & two vegetables or fruit. New Orleans Style Chicken over Savory Rice with Okra & Tomatoes and Diced Sweet Potatoes

Grilled Chicken Strips & Penne Pasta with Creamy Tomato Basil Sauce, Capri Blend Vegetables and Green Beans with Onions and Red Peppers Beef & Bowtie Pasta with Herbed Tomato Sauce, Capri Blend Vegetables and Corn Flame-Broiled Salisbury Steak with Brown Gravy, Sour Cream & Chive Potatoes and Mixed Vegetables Cheesy Chicken and Broccoli Casserole with Rice, Green Beans and Squash Medley Classic Chicken Tetrazzini with Diced Carrots and Green Peas Country Fried Steak with Cream Gravy, Red Skin Whipped Potatoes and Mixed Vegetables Spaghetti with Meatballs, Green Beans and Cinnamon Applesauce Chicken Parmesan with Whipped Potatoes and Capri Blend Vegetables Flame-Broiled Beef Patty with Onion Gravy, Sour Cream & Chive Potatoes and Capri Blend Vegetables 10 2-pack, individually-wrapped cookies ALLERGEN-FREE FOOD BOX \$25.00 Processed to eliminate the eight top serious allergens: Peanuts, Soybeans, Milk, Eggs, Fish, Crustacea, Tree Nuts and Gluten (wheat, rye and barley). Great for children and adults! 1 lb. Breaded Chicken Tenders 1 lb. Breaded Chicken Breast Chunk (Boneless Wing) 1 lb. Breaded Chicken Nuggets 1 lb. Breaded Chicken Pattie 1 lb. Breaded Steak Fingers Battered with water, white rice, brown rice, modified tapioca starch, flax seed, sugar, salt, spices, dehydrated garlic, spice extractives and oleoresin paprika. Breaded with white rice, brown rice, modified tapioca starch, flax seed, sugar, dextrose, salt, spices, dehydrated garlic, spice extractives and oleoresin paprika. Breading is pre-browned in Canola oil. New!! SEAFOOD BOX \$35.00 The Long-Awaited Seafood Box is Here! 2 lb. Alaskan Salmon Fillets (8 x 4 oz. vacuum-pack) 2 lb. IQF Whiting Fillets (4 oz.-6 oz. fillets) 2 lb. IQF Large Shrimp (26-30 per lb.) ***One or More Specials Available Only With the Purchase of Any of the Standard Boxes Above *** APRIL SPECIAL #1 6 lb. Assorted Meat Box \$22.00 1.5 lb. T-Bone Steaks (2 x 12 oz.) 2 lb. Lean All-Beef Hamburger Steaks (4 x 8 oz.) 1.5 lb. Boneless Pork Roast 1 lb. Mild Italian Sausage with Cheese APRIL SPECIAL #2 4.5 lb. Meat Combo \$21.00 3 lb. Ribeye Steaks (6 x 8 oz.) 1.5 lb. Bacon-Wrapped Pork Fillet (4 x 6 oz.) APRIL SPECIAL #3 5 lb. Steak and Pork Combo \$21.00 1.5 lb. Kansas City Strip (2 x 12 oz.) 1.5 lb. Bone-In Ribeye (2 x 12 oz.) 2 lb. Thick-Cut Boston Butt Chops (4 x 8 oz.) APRIL SPECIAL #4 Chicken Breast Fillet Box \$21.00 10 lb. IQF Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast APRIL SPECIAL #5

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Puzzle on Page 4

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don’t need to be warmed up at all. Driving them gently is the best warm up there is. If it’s 25 degrees out, you might want to let it warm up for 30 seconds. If it’s 10 degrees out, warm it up for a minute. If it’s -10 degrees out, move somewhere warmer.

My dad was right IF I was going to be a while. And, he has known me and my

‘just a seconds’ all my life. So, chances are, I might have run into someone inside and talked a bit, or decided I needed to take care of additional business. But, in the case of a real ‘just for a second’, I was right! By Ginger Lane

I don’t know of a better time in this generation and for all that follow for us to

turn off our vehicles to save gas and our environment! And, never, I mean never leave

My Mom and Dad came to visit last week, and I drove their vehicle to have

your vehicle running with children in or around it! (And, never leave your children in the

lunch. On the way, I stopped at the post office, just for a second! I left my dad’s (Ken-

car alone, even if it’s not running! It just takes a second for them to be taken forever, or

neth Mertens) truck running. He was in the front seat, and before I could even get out, he

something unforeseen to happen.)

reached over and shut it off! I calmly explained I was just going to run in and would be right back. He said I would be wasting gas. I told him, it takes more gas to restart than it would have wasted by running. We definitely disagreed, but it was his truck, his gas, and he is my dad, so he wins! But, I told myself right then and there, I was going to check it out and show him I was right....in writing.

Well, it turns out, we are both right. According to www.cartalk.com:

What’s your MPG when you’re idling? It’s negative! You’re actually burning

gas... and going nowhere. If you’re sitting outside a grocery store waiting for your grandmother, and you know it’s going to take her a good 15 minutes to pick out the freshest loaf of bread, turn off your engine. You’re just burning money. Some people have heard a myth that it takes more gas to start a car than to run it. So they use that as an excuse to leave a car idling. It’s complete fiction. If you’re stationary for more than a couple of minutes, shut it off, and save gas.

This tip also applies to warming up the car. Unless it’s below freezing, cars

April 2009

Texas Twister April 209

April 2009

Texas Twister April 209