How Much Do You By Rabbi Elaine Zecher
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou We have all felt it and know it when it happens: that sense that your presence, your ideas, your very being have worth. It might be the way you are greeted, responded to, or engaged. You feel seen, known, and that you matter. Allison Fine calls this “matter-ness.” In her book with the same title, she relates the power of what we are intended to be: connected, caring, curious, and capable. How we use our networks, whether they are social media, the communities with which we associate, or a group of friends help us to feel all of that. But, we are not passive bystanders to matter-ness either. Our willingness to assert ourselves as active players in our various networks strengthens the ties we have. We foster something that reaches deeper into who and what we are individually and together. Matter-ness is crucial for our synagogue. When it becomes manifest in our behavior and attitude, it becomes the thread that weaves our lives together in magnificent ways and makes us stronger. Martin Buber, the philosopher and theologian, summarized part of the essence of matter-ness by how we relate to each other. When we focus on what might be gained from the interaction, when we remain on the outer arena of inquiry, or when we seek or offer information, we most certainly are relating to another person but it does not transcend to a deeper level of knowing. When we are curious about another person, willing to be vulnerable, and open hearted in our response we grow closer to the idea of an I-Thou relationship. That is the message of matter-ness.
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INSIGHT Vol. 16, No. 4, Spring 2017/5777
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My immediate family often asks me how I find the strength to “go alone” or travel alone with Temple Israel. I’m quick to respond that I never feel alone when I walk in the building or meet up with my TI “family” and friends. I know my contribution of time and effort matters and I feel valued in this community. For me, Temple Israel is a place I “belong” in the many varied meanings of the word.
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—Marc Maxwell
