5 minute read
21st Century Parenting
21st Century Parenting Cook Eat Repeat
By Olivia Sinco
A parent recently confided in me, “She probably spends too much time playing Roblox online with friends…it’s tricky, she doesn’t really play with toys anymore, and being an only child…there seems to be a lot of time without much to do.”
In some ways, it’s easy to relax as our kids reach the senior years of primary school. At age 10, 11 and 12 they can have established friend groups and know the expectations of the school system pretty well. Yet another conversation I had with a friend this week confirms what parents of teenagers already know - that parenting high school students requires not less, rather it’s way more: time, energy, supervision and quality connection than is needed in the earlier years.
This gap between developmental stages can be filled perfectly with all of the amazing benefits of cooking. Could the air fryer, toaster, Nutri-bullet, microwave, fridge, freezer, sandwich press and oven become the new toys for our ‘in-betweeners’?
Calling out to them from the kitchen around 5pm to do just one task is how it can begin. Peel the potatoes, chop a cucumber, put toppings on a pizza base, grate some cheese; while they become interested in what’s for dinner, kitchen skills will be picked up incidentally. The supervision they’ll need won’t add much of a burden to our own schedule as we’re in there making dinner anyway, and the regular quality connection, even just a few minutes once a day, will form a foundation for that clear channel of communication we need with them moving forward into secondary school.
There are many quotes online regarding the joys of cooking with children; harnessing imagination, embracing mess and being patient. However, teaching kids how to cook isn’t a romantic notion to act on every now and then; it’s an essential life skill!
Learning how to plan meals, find ingredients in a supermarket, preparing tasty, healthy food, and accepting the clean-up process are all excellent reasons to call kids away from a device. There seems to be a culture of separation in homes now that I would love to see change, whereby kids tap out of family life and into the online world of friends, even strangers possibly, while the adults in the home live family life around them.
As an Education Support Worker, two issues that stand out to me on a daily basis are: Firstly the overwhelming number of students arriving at school looking for adult connection; a chat, sharing of a story or just the chance to do a task together, and secondly how rudimentary a lot of student’s food skills are. Last week a 12-year-old girl approached me and said she’d like to have an orange from the free fruit bowl provided by the school, in each classroom. I reminded her just to help herself, anytime. She lingered, became awkward and said “I don’t know how to peel it, can you show me?”
This can be a fantastic starting point. If having the kids in the kitchen around hot surfaces and sharp utensils isn’t something you’re in a position to do just yet, take small steps like showing them how to peel an orange, get used to the juice dripping, enjoy it, put the peel in the bin, then rinse hands. Alternatively, have them sit at a bench or table, bring out ingredients for toasted sandwiches, encourage them to put it together, and bring it to the kitchen to place it in the cold sandwich press then go back to their seat. You toast it and deliver it to them and they’ll begin to understand that cooking is a process which they get to feel a part of it while interacting with us.
It’s not about being a good cook ourselves; it’s about teaching them what we know. Look ahead and imagine them working their first job and saving for a car, choosing to come home and make avocado on toast instead of blowing $20 on a pizza. See them understanding the limits of their own part-time income and utilising the cooking skills you taught them to reach that goal.
Another incredible benefit to cooking is the feeling of empowerment it can offer. A typical school day comes with enormous expectations to behave well and comply with instructions. When my 12-year-old asks if he can bake after school, I know it’s been a challenging day for him.
Arriving home with the understanding that they can cook and eat whatever they like, offers an avenue of self-regulation; a small portion of the day where they can regain some choice and control in the real world, not a virtual one.
Olivia Sinco is an Education Support Worker, Facilitator of the 21st Century Parenting Program and artist.
Olivia Sinco
Image Credit: Pixabay
