Mental Health Matters

Behind Closed Doors: Impacts of - Domestic Violence How to Get Help!

By Derran Heney Mental Health Professional

Both men and women can experience family and domestic violence. According to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation (ABC, 2016), “Australian police are called to deal with domestic violence (DV) situations every two minutes.” This sheds light on the extent and epidemic proportions of this serious issue. More statistics are available here: https://www.whiteribbon.org.au/ understand-domestic-violence/ facts-violence-women/domestic-violence-statistics/

The Department of Human Services (2019) defines family and domestic violence as any behaviour that is violent, abusive, threatening or controlling in nature, causing a person to feel unsafe.

Behaviours identified under the banner of ‘family and domestic violence’ are not limited to, but include, physical or sexual assault, threats, verbal abuse, psychological and emotional blackmail, using technology to abuse or for surveillance, stalking and predatory behaviours, keeping a person under surveillance and control.

The Family Violence Protection Act (2008) further defines family violence as any behaviour that causes a child to hear, witness or otherwise be exposed to the effects of these behaviours. (Family Violence Protection Act, 2008, Section 57).

Victims of DV can experience extreme fear, emotional distress, ongoing psychological and physical trauma; anxiety, depression, irritability,

“Family Violence Intervention Orders (FVIO) are designed to protect people who are exposed to these behaviours where perpetrators cannot control their behaviours…”

helplessness and suicidality. Victims don’t readily report DV due to worry about being believed. DV occurs most often behind closed doors with perpetrators of DV appearing very different to the outside world.

Children in DV situations commonly experience anxiety, hypervigilance, low self-esteem and strong emotions like anger, extreme sadness, and feeling afraid for the safety of themselves or loved ones. Children can experience stress and emotionally based physical symptoms, i.e. headaches, tummy aches and insomnia.

“Prominent role models demonstrating poor adult coping, by way of abusive, controlling or maladaptive behaviours can be detrimental to children’s wellbeing.”

Police can take out FVIO’s on behalf of others in emergency situations, however, anyone can directly make an application to the magistrates’ courts. The application forms can be found online on their website.

Not only are children impressionable, but they also don’t have the coping skills to deal with such stressors, which may lead to ongoing poor mental health.

Research indicates only a very low percentage of those who engage in abusive, controlling actions change their behaviour. Factors that impact this lack of change include a strong sense of entitlement to behave the way they want to towards others. A lack of insight, their behaviours are abusive, lack of empathy and attitudes or actions that were learned early in life (National Domestic Violence Hotline, 2020).

Given this, when considering leaving an abusive relationship, it can be a good idea to find support, discuss options and plan your exit (if safe to do so).

Some support services to help are: - Safe Steps 1800 015 188 - Men’s Referral Service 1300 766 491 - Women’s Domestic Violence Crisis Service 1800 015 188 If in immediate danger call 000.

What if behaviours don’t stop? Family Violence Intervention Orders (FVIO) are designed to protect people exposed to these behaviours, where perpetrators cannot control their actions and where there is a risk to safety (physical or psychological). A magistrate hears the cases. Evidence is helpful including a diary of incidents, victim impact statements, witness testimony, text messages, emails and professional reports of injuries/incidences, phone messages, CCTV footage, photographic or any other evidence. Some useful information here: https://www.mcv.vic.gov.au/going-court/family-violence

An interim order may be made until a further court hearing. Going to court can be very anxiety-provoking. Applicants may feel concerned about their safety and wellbeing. Safe rooms are available with separate entry, exit and waiting areas until the court hearing, to avoid contact with the other party. Safety is a high priority, as is lessening the effect of stress and fear on the applicant.

When perpetrators of violence are served with an FVIO, it can lead to an escalation in abusive behaviours. If breaches of the order occur, these must be reported to the police. There are severe consequences including being charged by police, behaviour change program attendance, fines, community-based orders and imprisonment. https://mcv.vic.gov.au/intervention-orders/family-violence/ breaches

What else to do if you take out an FVIO: - Keep copies of FVIO: at home, work, the car. Ensure neighbours and children’s schools have a copy and know what to do if breaches occur. - Record incidents (date/time/ what occurred). Keep evidence. Report to the police. - Seek support - learn steps to take to ensure safety.

How to respond if a person discloses family or domestic violence If in immediate danger call police 000. Treat the situation seriously. Validate their feelings. Acknowledge it’s been hard for them to discuss. Enquire about what they want to do about their situation. Explore supports/ options together.

A supportive person with an empathic response can make all the difference!

If you need further assistance or are worried about someone, Make a call!

Lifeline 13 11 14 Kids Helpline 1800 551 800