Submerge Magazine: Issue 119 (September 10-24, 2012)

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

September 10 – 24, 2012

#119

+

The Souterrain & West Nile Ramblers Tour the Emerald Isle

Bat Guano Fest

Trust Us, It Will Rock

Against Me! Ride the Wave at Ace of Spades

local Comedian Goes Viral

Show Off your

farmer’s tan at Shakers Pub

There Can Be Only One

Destruction of the Corporate Rapper

free

SOLOS

Spencer Seim & aAron Ross Travel Down the Rabbit Hole

9/10 Blaqk audio Hi deaf

9/12 iration + tHe expendaBles CisCo adler

9/13 aesop roCk Rob Sonic • DJ big Wiz

9/14 antHrax + testament

9/2 7 HateBreed

Whitechapel • all Shall peRiSh Deez nutS

10/17 the WoRD alive + Born of osirus noRMa Jean • i the bReatheR cRoWn the eMpiRe • incReDible Me

11/ 9 Blue oCtoBer 11/ 14 minus tHe Bear

9/2 8 ozoMatli 9/2 9 dead raBBits

gRounD zeRo SnoWboaRD Movie premiers:

the DaRkSiDe • MinD the viDeo Man

11/ 16 tHe faint

10/5 J boog

1 0 /2 0 Del the Funky Homosapien

11/ 17 Halestorm

get ScaReD • Rob the caRtel oh! the hoRRoR • the SilveR lining

10/19

cuRSive • giRl in a coMa

caSket giRlS • tRuSt

in tHis moment

11/ 18 pieRce the veil

hot Rain • SquaReFielD MaSSive Finn the gRoovah & uniteD DiStRictz

giFt oF gab • bukue one • SleepRockeRS taSk1ne • Max bunDleS • M theoRy

9/15 quiet riot

1 0 /6 zion i + minnesota

1 0 /2 3 Motion city soundtraCk

9/18 floBots

10/7 iWReStleD aBearonCe

1 0 /2 4 alesana

CHunk no Captain CHunk ouR laSt night • SecRetS captuRe the cRoWn • the Seeking

1 0 /2 7 gRounDation

kill the pReceDent • city oF vain union heaRtS • lonely kingS

Death angel

FoRce oF habit • Maxxx forCe multiplied

aStRonautaliS • FoRReSt Day

9/20 toMoRRoWS Bad seeds

thRough the RootS • SiMple cReation StReet uRchinz • iSlanD oF black & White

k-ottiC

oceano • Within the RuinS the plot in you • SuRRounDeD by MonSteRS merCHants

10/10 Steve vai beveRly McClellan

9/21

soundCHeCk: saCred city inFeSt 4

beyonD all enDS • DeaD by nightFall engRaveD in aRMoR • the Sun SetS heRe aFRaiD oF Falling • beFoRe Me Without concluSion

9/22 tHe used

tWin atlantic • StaRS in SteReo

9/2 4 kreator

10/11 dri

RaD • chaoS in MinD • tWitch angRy & art of CHaos

10/13 MoRbiD angel DaRk FuneRal • gRave • SoMa RaS

10/14 aBandon all sHips

SWalloW the Sun • SolanuM black MackeRel • bleSSeD cuRSe

FoR all thoSe Sleeping Skip the FoReplay upon thiS DaWning • paliSaDeS

9/26 gza

10/16 MatiSyahu

SWeet valley • killeR Mike • beaR hanDS

Jukebox the ghoSt • noW, noW

in FeaR anD Faith • vaMpiReS eveRyWheRe glaMouR oF the kill • all huMan i WiSh We WeRe RobotS

tRevoR hall

1 1 /2 Dance gavin danCe a lot like biRDS • i the Mighty hail the Sun • oRphan the poet

1 1 /3 Colt ford 11/5 gWaR

Devil DRiveR • canceR batS legacy oF DiStoRteR

1 1 /8 tHe ap tour

MiSS May i • the ghoSt inSiDe like motHs to flames the aMity aFFliction • glaSS clouD

Sleeping With SiRenS • tonight alive Hands like Houses

11/ 19 Woe iS Me

11/30 7 seConds

12 / 7 StReetlight manifesto hoStage calM • lionize

12 /8 motionless in White

chelSea gRin • Stick to youR gunS cRoWn the eMpiRe • upon thiS DaWning

12 / 11 Blood on tHe danCe floor JeFRee StaR • neW yeaRS Day Davey SuiciDe

12 / 14 the engliSh beat

tHe Constellations

1417 R STREET • SACRAMENTO ACEOFSPADESSAC.COM

All Shows All Ages 2

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

3

119 12 2012 contents

Submerge: an independently owned entertainment/lifestyle publication available for free biweekly throughout the greater Sacramento area.

26 14

20 cofounder/ Editor in Chief/Art Director

Contributing Writers

Contributing editor

Zach Ahern, Joe Atkins, Robin Bacior, Andrew Bell, Corey Bloom, Emily Bonsignore, Bocephus Chigger, Josh Fernandez, Anthony Giannotti, Blake Gillespie, Ashley Hassinger, Nur Kausar, John Phillips, Ryan J. Prado, Steph Rodriguez, Adam Saake, Amy Serna, Jenn Walker

Mandy Johnston

Contributing photographers

Melissa Welliver melissa@submergemag.com cofounder/ Advertising Director

Jonathan Carabba jonathan@submergemag.com senior editor

James Barone

Mike Ibe, Nicholas Wray

www.submergemag.com Follow us on Twitter! @SubmergeMag

4

04 06 08 10 11 12 14 18 20 22 26 28 29 30

Submerge

2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816

916.441.3803 info@submergemag.com

printed on recycled paper

Front Cover Photo of mike e. winfield

by Barry J. Holmes

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

september 10 september 24 Dive in

The Stream Submerge your senses capital capture

summer to fall The Optimistic Pessimist mike e. winfield killer mike solos Sacramento burger battle CALENDAR on the road with

the souterrain & west nile ramblers live rewind

against me! the grindhouse

The Words the shallow end All content is property of Submerge and may not be reproduced without permission. Submerge is both owned and published by Submerge Media.

All opinions expressed throughout Submerge are those of the author and do not necessarily mean we all share those opinions. Feel free to take a copy or two for free, but please don’t remove our papers or throw them away. Submerge welcomes letters of all kinds, whether they are full of love or hate. We want to know what is on your mind, so feel free to contact us via snail mail at 2308 J Street, Suite F Sacramento, Calif. 95816. Or you can e-mail us at info@submergemag.com.

Back Cover Photo of Pedro Depina/Ettore’s

by Rachel Valley

dive in Get get get get, got got got got Melissa welliver melissa@submergemag.com Reason No. 241 of why I make Submerge is that I am constantly surrounded by people who “get it.” It’s so great to have contributors/friends who you can relate to and are also passionate about things like music, food, art, comedy, etc. There’s next to nothing in the world more satisfying than vibing with someone on these sort of topics: about what new albums that you think are outstanding, what new documentaries you’re into, which new artists you’re keeping an eye on.

In this issue of Submerge, we interviewed musicians who have released albums in 2012 that undoubtably will make a lot of our contributors’ year-end favorite albums list.

Expect to see Killer Mike’s R.A.P. Music and SOLOS’ Beast of Both Worlds grace Submerge’s “Top 20” list in December. I wouldn’t be surprised if these albums are both in the top 5.

First up we have Killer Mike, who released what is probably my favorite rap album this year. Come to find out El-P, who has made my second favorite hip-hop album this year (Cancer 4 Cure) has his production touch all over Killer Mike’s album. El-P played a huge role, and in our interview with Killer Mike one of the things you will learn is that this powerhouse duo plans to be at it for a while. This is good news. Please read Blake Gillespie’s interview with Killer Mike starting on page 14. Then be sure to catch him opening for GZA at Ace of Spades on Wednesday, Sept. 26.

Alright, SOLOS! You may be asking yourself, “Who is this SOLOS band?” Well, it’s comprised of some of Northern California’s most talented musicians: freak-folk singer/songwriter Aaron Ross and Spencer Seim of Hella and The Advantage. When editing the music calendar for issue No. 118, I noticed they had an album release show this past week at Haven Underground in Nevada City. Recognizing their names I had to hunt down a couple of their songs to give it a listen. It’s AMAZING! Even though SOLOS doesn’t have any more shows in the books quite yet, their debut album will be released on Sept. 11. When setting up the interview Submerge was lucky enough to attain an advanced copy of the album. I swear, top 10 material people! I guess their press release nailed it by saying “Think Zeppelin meets MGMT.” One thing I’d say is that it has this clean, powerful, almost classic rock sound that I feel the music universe needs right now to counter balance all the indie-pop and reverb-ridden garage-rock sounds that so many bands seem to be over-using these days.

Obviously my longtime friend and Submerge contributor Ryan Prado couldn’t agree more on the greatness of Beast of Both Worlds.

Look past their ridiculous photos and actually read our feature starting on page 18, then check their Facebook page often to see if they add a Sacramento, San Francisco or Nevada City show.

All those words above and I haven’t even started talking about our two covers. Oh my...

Well, it’s our second comedy cover in a row! Last week we had Brian Crall on our cover. He is putting on the Sacramento Comedy Festival, which is still happening through Sept. 15. Now we’re featuring the hilarious Mike E. Winfield. No, he’s not a part of the Sacramento Comedy Fest (at least that I know of), but we’re featuring him because he’s doing something huge on the national scale. Winfield recently emailed Submerge to tell us what he’s up to.

And yes, it’s a dream come true. If you’re lucky enough to have Dish Network or something that allows you to view FUSE, you’ll be able to watch our city’s beloved comedian host a new television show called Off Beat. From the sound of things, think Tosh.0 or The Soup but even more focused, discussing only music-themed viral videos from the Internet. Tune in for the premiere on Friday, Sept. 14 and be sure to read Andrew Bell’s feature to learn more about the show and how he plans on dealing with fame starting on page 12.

Warning. We have a feature in this issue that will more than likely leave you hungry. It’s our back cover story, and it’s all about burgers! On Sept. 18 at Sacramento’s first-ever Burger Battle going down at Raley Field, you’ll have the opportunity to try 15 burgers from top local restaurants and fortunately you’ll be able to wash them down with beer or wine. Submerge contributor Nur Kausar spoke with the event’s organizer, Rodney Blackwell, as well as chefs Pedro Depina of Ettore’s European Bakery and Restaurant and Jose Silva of Flaming Grill about what to expect from this in your face type of event. Be sure to get the low down on Sacramento’s burger scene starting on page 20.

On top of all that goodness check out the photos and captions from The Souterrain and West Nile Ramblers’ recent tour in Ireland and also please enjoy all of our regular columns.

Get it? Got it! Enjoy issue #119, Melissa-Dubs Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

5

Audio Express — Sacramento Submerge — 9/10/2012

SHOWS AT SAC STATE

SPONSORED BY UNIQUE PROGRAMS FOR MORE INFO VISIT OUR WEBSITE OR CALL 278–6997

WWW.SACSTATEUNIQUE.COM NOONER

MENTALIST

The stream BAT GUANO FEST: NOT AS SHITTY AS IT MIGHT SOUND // FOLSOM LIVE LIGHTS UP SUTTER STREET Jonathan Carabba

Send regional news tips to info@submergemag.com

CRAIG KARGES WED • SEP 12 • 12-2P • UNIVERSITY UNION SERNA PLAZA

THUR • SEP 13 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

FREE: Celebration featuring Mariachi Los Versatiles and Tamborazo Del Valle.

Co-sponsored with ASI and Gamma Zeta Alpha

FREE: A show that combines the art of magic with the science of psychology and the power of intuition.

NOONER

LECTURE

ANGELS LANDING

NADINE STROSSEN

WED • SEP 19 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION SERNA PLAZA

THUR • SEP 20 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

FREE: Indie pop rock concert.

FREE: Former President of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) addressing current challenges to civil liberties.

NOONER

LECTURE

BRIAN ROGERS

CANDY FINNIGAN

WED • SEP 26 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION SERNA PLAZA

THUR • SEP 27 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

FREE: acoustic funk concert

FREE: Interventionist from the A&E series Intervention, speaking on confronting a loved one with addiction.

NOONER

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WED • OCT 3 • 12P • UNIVERSITY UNION SERNA PLAZA

THUR • OCT 4 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

FREE: Folk concert.

FREE: final rounds of the annual laughfest, featuring 5 competing professional comedians plus a special guest host.

ROLLER DERBY

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BROTHER ALI

Co-sponsored with the First Year Experience Peer Mentor Program

THUR • NOV 1 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

THUR • NOV 29 • 7:30P • UNIVERSITY UNION BALLROOM

FREE: hard hitting roller derby bout with Sacramento’s first all-female flat track team, the Sac City Rollers, feat. the Capitol Punishers versus Folsom Prison Bruisers, plus live music

Hip hop concert, University Union Ballroom, 7:30 pm, Tickets are $12 for Sac State students/ $17 general public.

On-sale date and ticket locations will be announced.

This has been a great summer for music festivals in and around Sacramento, if you read this column you already know that. Launch was a success, Punch and Pie Fest was rad, every Friday at Cesar Chavez Plaza felt like a minifest with Concerts in the Park, Ken Doose w/ Lys Mayo of Dead Dads local band ZuhG threw its own fest, American River Music Festival is next weekend in Coloma, Calif., and in a couple weeks the highly anticipated mega-rockshow Aftershock Festival will no doubt shake Sacramento to its core. Here’s another one to add to that list: Bat Guano Fest. Trust us, it won’t be as shitty as it might sound.

“Bat Guano Fest is a two-day event at Luigi’s Fungarden that’s being held to celebrate my birthday and the release of my latest compilation Batshit Crazy,” said Ken Doose, the event’s organizer.

It’s also the unofficial 22nd anniversary for his record label, Bat Guano Productions. Taking place on Friday, Sept. 14 and Saturday, Sept. 15, Bat Guano Fest will feature 17 punk bands (five on Friday, 12 on Saturday) hand selected by Doose himself. Bands like The Left Hand, Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits, Dead Dads, The Walking Dead, Support the Rabid and many others are scheduled to play. The Batshit Crazy compilation will feature 31 bands, most hailing from Sacramento, and is being released as a free digital download available at Batguanoproductions.blogspot. com on Sept. 19, Doose’s actual birthday. A limited amount of physical CDs will be available at the Luigi’s shows as well as at Phono Select.

“Batshit Crazy is Bat Guano’s latest effort to create an audio document/time capsule of the ever-changing Sacramento punk scene,” Doose said.

Friday’s show is only $5 and kicks off at 8 p.m., Saturday’s show starts a little earlier, 3 p.m., and is still only $7. Both shows are all-ages. Happy birthday Ken, and thanks for throwing shows and putting out comps, the local music community appreciates it!

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Maxx Cabello, Jr. Recently my parents were visiting from out of town and Submerge head-honcho Melissa Dubs and I decided to take them out to dinner (who am I kidding, they bought dinner, that’s what parents are for right?) in Folsom’s Historic District. As we were grubbing on delicious Mexican cuisine and drinking margaritas by the pitcher on Hacienda Del Rio’s legit patio area, we couldn’t help but overhear live music flowing out from nearby Hotel Folsom and Powerhouse Pub. We talked amongst ourselves about how Historic Folsom is a really fun place to party, to see live music, to dance and to let loose with the occasional “woo!” Then I remembered that Folsom Live is coming up on Saturday, Sept. 22. With 15 bands on five stages, the annual event will once again transform Sutter Street and Historic Folsom into one giant party. See country/rock artist Jack Ingram (who won the 2008 Academy of Country Music award for “Best New Male Vocalist”), Wonderbread 5 (easily one of Northern California’s most popular party/cover bands), East Bay Soul (featuring Greg Adams from Tower of Power), Tom Rigney and Flambeau (New Orleans style roots), Maxx Cabello, Jr. (Bay Area blues/rock/soul) and many others. Tickets are just $25 in advance and $30 at the door. Visit Folsomlive.com to purchase online, or hit up Dimple Records locations, Powerhouse Pub, Beach Hut Deli in Folsom or the Folsom Chamber of Commerce office to purchase tickets in person. Gates open at 5 p.m., and you can ride Regional Transit for free with your ticket purchase!

1815 19th st. sacramento OPEN TUES-SAT 11-11

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wEd SEPT 12 (7Pm) NERD NIGHT

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Card games, board games, video games, Trivia and possibly a costume contest

fri SEPT 21 (7Pm) aUTHoR REaDING

Hosted by Drew Walker

ThU SEPT 13 (8Pm) LIVE MUSIC

with host Jordan Jabro ShenaniganS 705 J St. Sacramento

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Golden Shoulders, Dana Gumbiner, Brett Shady

SAT SEPT 15 (12Pm) $1 SaLE

Zee Avi, Sea of Bees

Steven Unger’s Dancing in the Streets

SAT SEPT 22 (8Pm) LIVE MUSIC

The Kelps, Crow Canyon, Simpl3jack, The Trees

bowscollective.com

SAT SEPT 29 (8Pm) LIVE MUSIC

Carly DuHain Band, Nice Monster, Devin Farren

fri OcT 5 (6Pm) aRT oPENING

“Get Well Soon,” new art Liv Moe and Elisabeth Higgins O’Connor

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No 6 MoNth BS • Good for 1 Year | Walk-iNS WelcoMe all daY everYdaY Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

7

Your Senses SEE HEAR TASTE Touch

HEAR

“Breezin” Yacht Rock & Smooth Disco Day Party at Red Rabbit Sept. 23

There’s nothing better than day drinking with your pals on a Sunday afternoon, but then again, we’re a bunch of alcoholics. If you’re like us, you’ll take note of DJ Shaun Slaughter’s party at the Red Rabbit on Sunday, Sept. 23 called “Breezin.” Sip on specialty cocktails like the Sweet Freedom (cognac, lemon Juice, lavender simple syrup, sparkling wine) or the Yah Mo B There (mezcal, lime agave, ginger beer), both just $6, or get endless mimosas for just $9, all while listening to “smooth sailing music by Cap’n Shaun Slaughter.” Think Michael McDonald, Hall and Oates, Steely Dan and tons of other prime selections. Of course you’ll want some sustenance with all that booze in your belly. Lucky for you Red Rabbit has some of the most delicious food in town. It’s a win-win, really. There is no cover charge, party goes from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sailing and beach attire is highly encouraged.

Red Rabbit is located at 2718 J Street.

TOUCH

Mad Men Pool Party Extravaganza at the Greens Hotel Sept. 22

SEE

TASTE

Eighth Annual Peruvian Food Festival

Northern California charity group the Atomic Angels are throwing a Mad Men-themed pool party extravaganza on Saturday, Sept. 22 at the Greens Hotel (1700 Del Paso Boulevard) to benefit Wind Youth Services of Sacramento. For just $8 you can check out a multitude of themed At the eighth annual Peruvian Food Festival on Sunday, Sept. 23 at contests (vintage swimsuit competition, Jell-O mold contest and a limbo the Ben Ali Shriners Center (3262 Marysville Boulevard), you can contest), swim in the pool, hit up participating food trucks and vendors, taste all sorts of famous dishes from Peru like lomo saltado (strips sip on beer and wine, enjoy music from DJ 7evin and check of steak sautéd with soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, chilies, onions and out some classic mid-century cars. The event gets tomatoes served over a bed of rice with a large helping of French underway at 2 p.m. and if you plan on having a bit fries) and picarones (thin, donut like type of pumpkin fritters that to drink (it goes with the theme), you can snag a are normally served with syrup on top) room at Greens that night for under $100! For more and plenty of other options. There will be information on this and other great charity events, music and entertainment for the whole visit the Atomic Angels online at Facebook.com/ family including a Peruvian horse show, TheAtomicAngels.

“Caballos de Paso.” Admission is just $3 per person, and children 10-and-under are free.

Parking is $2. For more information, visit Clubperudesacramento.com.

Sept. 23

8

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Ridiculous End of Summer Tan Lines at the Farmer’s Tan Competition at Shakers Pub Sept. 22

Tan lines, we’ve all got them. Unless of course you sunbath in the nude, in which case, what was your address again? It has been a long, hot, sunny summer and chances are you are rocking some legit tan lines right about now. The organizers of the Farmer’s Tan Competition on Saturday, Sept. 22 at Shakers Pub in Citrus Heights want you to embrace those tan lines, flaunt them even, for a chance to win prizes and most importantly, bragging rights. As to not leave anyone out, the categories for this outrageous contest include: Tank Top, Flip Flops and Socks, Arms, Legs, Sunglasses/Hat/Neck, Fake and Bake/Sunscreen Design and Full Body/Combo Tan. Sunscreen be damned!

Rock those lines! Party kicks off at 8 p.m., Shakers is located at 5940 Sperry Drive, 21-and-over only.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

9

Capital Capture Make a Splash in Fall Emily Bonsignore It is a tricky fashion transition from summer to fall. While the sweltering 100-degree days are well behind us, it is still not quite time to break out the winter essentials. However, don’t be too hasty to store away every summery sundress or denim short because our mild weather permits a significant amount of fashion freedom. I have taken some of my best summer staples and added a few fall favorites to make new outfits perfect for this style evolution.

One of the easiest fall outfits is to take a strap-y sundress and add a fitted, long sleeve T-shirt underneath. I chose a dress that did not have a seasonal print—keep it neutral for an easy transition. Switch out peep-toe sandals for ballet flats or lace-up oxfords, and accessorize with a lightweight scarf or vintage belt. Just a few simple pieces can take a once cool cover-up into a complete autumn ensemble.

If you thought denim shorts were only for hot summer days, think again. Shorts with tights are one of my favorite outfits for fall, and it’s perfect for daytime or night.

A good pair of opaque tights is essential for this look, so invest in a nice pair of dark-colored tights. I like to pair it with a patterned sweater, ankle boots and keep the accessories simple with a head wrap. I made mine from an old scarf and did just a simple knot on top. But, if you are looking to sport this look for evening, swap out denim shorts for something more tailored. Add a pair of wedges and a sheer blouse for a unique look.

As for those bodysuits that were trending this summer, keep them going into fall. These types of tops are great for when you want to tuck because it never bunches or sticks out, no matter how busy your day gets. With a solid-colored skirt, sheer stockings, a pair of knee high boots and a slouchy cardigan, you can certainly go sleeveless into the cooler months.

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The Optimistic Pessimist The Doctor Is In Bocephus Chigger bocephus@submergemag.com Bocephus Chigger holds a B.A. in Psychology, no medical training and little to no patience for your bullshit. Every once in a while he answers your questions or questions that he made up himself and offers excellent advice that should always be followed to the letter.

Dear Dr. Chigger, My boyfriend and I have been going steady for almost six months and we just graduated from high school. I thought were going to hang out together all summer, but now he says he is going to Delaware with his friends. I asked him to stay home, but he said he couldn’t get out of the trip. We won’t get to see each other at all now and I will barely get to talk to him. He’s the only guy I’ve ever loved, and I’m the only girl he’s ever loved, so his leaving is extremely hard on both of us.

The main issue is that I think he will miss me so much that it will ruin his trip. I was contemplating ending things so he could have a good time. That way, he’d spend three weeks being sad and then he’d get over it, versus three months of him missing me. I’m uncertain whether I should break things off and get back together with him when he returns (if we still feel the same), or if I should stay with him and ruin his trip, but hope things work out when he returns. What should I do?

Dear Clueless, Your boyfriend is trying to dump you. Your first clue should have been his travel destination.

People don’t go to Delaware unless they are from there or are into forming corporations.

You didn’t mention if your boyfriend is a Delawarean or some sort of corporate whizkid, but he is traveling with friends, so I’m guessing neither is the case. Even if he was actually going to Delaware, what would he possibly do there for three months? He could see everything the Blue Hen State has to offer in about 24 hours.

Your intuition that your boyfriend’s “trip” will be ruined by your continued relationship is a good one. Being that he is trying to dump you, I don’t think he will be too upset if you break up with him. Who wants to date someone who hangs out in Delaware anyway?

Good riddance!

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Dear Dr. Chigger, I’m a 29-year-old, single, Sex in the City type of gal. I met a total dreamboat in college. We never hooked up, but we made out a couple of times when we were drunk. I like him a lot more than just a friend and I just know he feels the same.

It wasn’t long before I had dropped out of college to fully devote myself to him. After three years of watching him sleep, wearing his clothes when he wasn’t at home and hiding in his closet, I knew I had found the love of my life and that we would be married someday.

Things were going great, until, all of a sudden, he moved five states away without telling me. Luckily, I was able to track him down. It was a three-day drive, but he was so excited when I showed up unexpectedly at his job and told everyone I was his girlfriend. He even took some time to speak to me privately in his fancy office. Unfortunately, the fun soon ended when he told me he was happily married to this girl we went to college with that he knows I hate.

I stopped by his house a few times after that to try and change his mind, but he kept saying we shouldn’t see each other anymore because he is married to that bitch, Kristal. But the thing is, when he handed me the restraining order, he looked deeply into my eyes and seemed to hold my hand for extra long.

I think he is trying to trick Kristal into thinking he doesn’t want me so that we can have a secret affair. Should I move closer to him? Should I jump Kristal when she goes for her run at the park every evening at 5:00 p.m.?

I’m so confused!

Dear Hopeless Romantic, Where should I start? You seem to be doing everything right, but your dreamboat just isn’t seeing it. I think you are going to have to move closer to him or he might forget you.

I don’t know if jumping Kristal is a good idea, but perhaps you could open up and max out a few credit cards in her name. If that doesn’t get her in trouble with your man, you might find a little trash on Kristal in his garbage. Do what you know! A word of caution though… watch out for that restraining order, girl, it will be hard to watch his every move from behind bars.

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

11

Lighting the FUSE Sacramento Comedian Mike E. Winfield gets ready for the premiere of his new comedy/ music mashup on FUSE TV Words Andru Bell Photo Barry J. Holmes

T

he first thing you notice about comedian Mike E. Winfield before he ever tells a joke is his smile. He has the kind of contagious, ear-to-ear grin that you can hear over the phone.

These days that smile might have a lot to do with the fact Winfield is counting down to the premiere of his new TV show, Off Beat, on the FUSE network Sept. 14, a dream he has been working toward his entire career. Winfield will host the weekly viral video music/comedy mash up with sidekick Mal Hall dissecting and analyzing the most outrageous music themed videos and viewer submitted clips (think “Chocolate Rain” and “Hot Cheetos and Takis”).

Off Beat features a heavy hitting production team including the legendary Vin Di Bona as one of the executive producers as well as creative consultant Mike Gibbons who worked on Tosh.0.

“It’s viral videos that have a connection to music,” describes Winfield. “There could be someone at church dancing and they fall out the cathedral window. That could make the show.”

With the first season wrapped, and Hollywood notoriety around the corner, Winfield is still incredibly humble when speaking about his comedic roots and the path to his current success.

“In school I was hilarious to about three people only,” Winfield says when asked if he was the class clown. “I feel that everyone else knew me as Michael, the dude chillin’, trying to make the team.”

At points, growing up in East Baltimore, Md., was anything but comedic for Winfield. “I didn’t know how bad areas were where I lived until I got older,” he reflects back. “By eighth grade I was able to recognize that people were selling drugs on the block where I lived. I knew where not to get shot. I even knew how to spot an undercover vehicle.”

It wasn’t until moving to Sacramento after high school that Winfield would even step on stage for the first time to try his hand at stand-up comedy. His sophomore year at American River College, a small audience caught the first glimmer of greatness. Or something like that.

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

“I get on stage at this open mic believing I have the skills to freestyle a five minute set,” Winfield recalls. “I can barely freestyle a five minute set now, so it goes awry. I’m not booed, but it’s silence and stares—very awkward and uncomfortable. I figure that live comedy is not for me…and I focus on finishing college.”

Three years later, after graduating from Sacramento State with a bachelor’s degree in English he is faced with the decision to enter the teaching profession or attempt standup comedy again.

“I built the courage to return to the beast,” Winfield says. “But this time, I actually write material, which is the difference.”

The rest is Sacramento comedy history.

“I just started going to open mics and hitting them every week until more shows and doors started opening.” This was 2004.

It feels lightweight cliché to draw a comedic style comparison between Mike E. Winfield and Chris Rock, but the same charisma, originality and ability to relate to a crowd that made the latter a household name has propelled Winfield to where he is today. There is a definitive everyday feel to Winfield’s stand-up that he has maintained throughout all of his mainstream successes.

Since dedicating his life to the art of making a crowd laugh Winfield has been featured on BET’s Comic View, Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham, Showtime’s Comics Without Borders, Comics Unleashed, The Late Show with David Letterman and NBC’s The Office before being selected for his latest role as host of Off Beat.

The audition process for Off Beat started last year in Los Angeles when Mike E. Winfield and thousands of other comedians and on-air personalities of all kinds auditioned for the gig. It wasn’t until this past February that Winfield got word that he had beat out the competition and was Hollywood bound.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

“It’s funny because I said, ‘I want my own TV show,’ but something like Off Beat I would’ve never planned,” Winfield says. “It’s weird because I don’t know what else I would be more fit for.”

Though he is the figurehead for a team of writers now, Winfield promises the same personal connection with the audience that has fueled his stand-up success.

“With Off Beat it feels so much like it is mine and people will really get to know me. They see so much of me just being myself so it’s more fitting than anything else I could even imagine.”

Now living back and forth between Los Angeles and Sacramento, Winfield is touring to promote Off Beat’s upcoming premiere. A comedian’s comedian, Winfield isn’t spending all of his time talking to morning news shows though. In fact, he is known for making impromptu appearances at local open mics from Sacramento to New York City.

He explains, “Whatever town I find myself in, I’m trying to hit the stage.”

If you don’t Google him, you might spend an entire night hanging out with Mike before you realize that he’s sort of famous.

A few weeks ago, while back home visiting, Winfield dropped by a showcase at Luna’s Cafe, hosted by comedian Johnny Taylor, to do a set completely unannounced. “Mike E. is on the verge,” described Taylor, “but he’s different, because you know he’s one of those guys that really wants to bring the city with him.”

When asked how he plans to deal with the fame monster, Winfield jokingly responds that he has already scouted out a place to buy afro wigs to outfit his army of imposter drones in true pop star fashion.

“Britney Spears has to leave her house through some hidden chamber in the basement and has imposters that look like her,” he explains. “I have this place where I go get afros, throw them on people, and then have them leave before me.”

In reality, the gradual climb up the ladder of success has readied Winfield for the upcoming wave of (much deserved) recognition. “I feel like there was a set up for this,” he explains, “It’s a slow, gradual… BOOM.” When asked his advice to aspiring comedians, there is no hesitation. His answer is immediate and fires off like a mantra. “Everything is about the work you put in,” he says, “I believe when you work hard at anything you see results even if it comes back to you another way. So it’s not talking about it. It’s doing the actual work. I’ll perform anywhere. I’ve performed at poetry shows, open mics and cafes. I’ve performed in the back of a vegan restaurant. If there is a microphone, I’ve been on it.”

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“With Off Beat it feels so much like it is mine and people will really get to know me. They see so much of me just being myself so it’s more fitting than anything else I could even imagine.”

– Mike E. Winfield

It would be remiss to credit Winfield’s relentless work ethic and fail to mention his secret weapon, wife Kisha, who has stood by the comic’s side every step of the way and played the most important role behind the scenes. “September we’ve been married 10 years,” says Winfield. “The thing is we’re stronger than ever. She’s the one behind the scenes getting stuff done.”

Though his marriage is not off limits as fodder for his stand-up, it is clear that she is another reason for that famous smile. You have to respect and admire a wife that can truly support a struggling comic with showbiz dreams. And clearly Winfield does.

Mike E. Winfield will be back in Sacramento headlining at The Punchline on Oct. 4 as well as multiple shows over Thanksgiving weekend, also at Punchline. …And you never know where he’ll show up between now and then.

Keep up with Mike E. Winfield as Off Beat hits the airwaves and set your DVRs for the premiere Sept. 14th at 7 p.m. on the FUSE network. You can also follow his misadventures in viral video via his Twitter, @MikeEWinfield, and his website Mikewinfield.com.

You can see Winfield live at the Punchline in Sacramento on Oct. 4.

For tickets and more info, go to Punchlinesac.com

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

13

Off Script

Killer Mike Speaks without a Net Words Blake Gillespie

A

s rumors circulated that Ronald Reagan’s hologram would deliver a speech at the Republican National Convention, the significance of Killer Mike’s “Reagan” magnified to the level of, “If you hear one song this year…” Reagan remained dead, leaving us with one last enemy in the cross hairs: his legacy.

With the future of the Dungeon Family, an Atlantabased collective comprised of Outkast, Cee-Lo and Goodie Mob, in limbo Killer Mike emerged from its shadows this year with R.A.P. Music.

His collaborative album (also featuring T.I., Bun B and others) is one of the most talked about records of the year, garnering a comparison from Pitchfork Media to Ice Cube’s classic AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, thanks to Bomb Squad production meets doom-heavy space funk beats from El-P. Killer Mike holds no punches on R.A.P. Music. We discussed his sneaky left over the phone; Mike stating “When I write I try not to put parameters on myself.

There will be things that feel like they need to be said.”

The album is an eardrum assault, but on “Reagan” the tension is ripe for El-P’s cinematic builds that culminate to Killer Mike’s grand proclamation, “I’m glad Reagan dead.” The statement perks the ears as the beat drops out entirely to alert all in earshot of Mike’s definitive four words.

It’s bigger than politics or hip-hop, though. There’s far more to take from “Reagan” than a battle-cry against the idealized Great Communicator as Mike calls out hip-hop for being part of the problem. The problem being puppets with corporate-interest hands stuck in their backs. To Mike there’s little difference between a talking head reading teleprompters and a rapper glorifying gang life and the consumption of liquor brands.

The rapper is just a man with a fancy chain and the president is just a man in a chair.

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

The track “Reagan” deals a lot with the breaking down of ideologies, particularly addressing how Reagan was an actorin-chief but it goes beyond him. Is there a rap equivalent, either a figure or ideal that you’d like to see dispelled?

When I’m talking about Reagan being dismantled it’s less about the human being that was Ronald Reagan. Because he didn’t have power, the corporations held the power. It’s the Reagan ideology of being a puppet to a puppeteer that is corporate interest over human interest. So for me, the Reagan in hip-hop that I’d like to see destroyed is the value of corporation’s favor. As MCs, we should not be pandering to these corporations. We should seek the people we rap to and we rap for.

When I rap my interest is pleasing the people I rap for and not pleasing a corporation, who may or may not give me money. That doesn’t mean I don’t take corporate money. Corporations like Pitchfork [Media] and YouTube are the reasons I’m entitled to that. But they came under the understanding that we want you to make the video that merits this music. A television corporation gave me the freedom to make a rap album I’ve always wanted without interest of how to get it on the radio.

It’s about valuing the freedom over the corporations.

Reagan was just a corporate spokesman. What I would like to see is the destruction of the rapper as a corporate spokesman.

Have you followed the statements Kendrick Lamar made regarding his disinterest in voting in November?

Yeah, I heard about it. Kendrick is in his early twenties. That’s how you feel.

My personal philosophy, even when I was in my teens, is… well, my grandparents were from segregated communities.

So for me, voting is a blood oath. I knew the people that suffered blood at the hands of dogs and police forces. I vote as a blood oath. I vote for the same reason Jews hold true to Israel. There’s a blood oath that’s born out of a suffering that’s unimaginable. It’s not saying I agree with any policies there or anything like that. I understand a nation’s adoration and allegiance born out of a suffering called the Holocaust. So for me, I take voting with that sincerity because what happens to the African on the continent of the Americas has been truly a holocaust. Voting represents some measure of victory in reclaiming your humanity through that. It is a moral issue. It is a social issue. I will always vote.

So if and when real revolution ever has to happen, I’ve exercised the right. If that no longer works for me, then I have the right in this country to bear arms and fight for my freedom to the very death. That’s how strongly I feel.

Your music videos from the R.A.P. Music record have been very cinematic. Is this a lead up to you looking at movie roles?

I’d like to. I don’t know the realities of doing movies, but I’ve seen a lot of big black guy parts I know I can nail and even do better.

I’ve done a few indie movies on the street side. It’s been a cool experience I’ve met a few black actors that have encouraged me to try something. At some point I’m giving it a try.

I’d gotten bored with videos in the rap genre. I wanted to bring cinema to my videos, so hopefully it’s something I will continue to do. It costs a little more. I think rap deserves it though.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The

Boardwalk

Are there plans for a third video from R.A.P. Music?

“Reagan” is already done and “JoJo’s Chillin’” is the next one we’re shooting. Expect a video for “Butane” too. I’m going to finance another video too. I haven’t decided which one yet. I want to shoot “Don’t Die,” but you’re talking at least 30 grand for that. We’ll get it figured out.

friday, sept 14

Since you’re touring with GZA, what song of his are you looking forward to hearing him perform live every night?

He’s going on tour to do the Liquid Swords album. I don’t think it’s appropriate to try to pull any one track out of that. I’m going to be one of the first people on Earth, probably since his promo tour to watch him do that album. That’s what I’m stoked about. I pray that Killer Priest joins us at some point because “Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth” is going to be incredible. I’m going to smoke weed every night and stand in the crowd to hear that album.

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“What I would like to see is the destruction of the rapper as a corporate spokesman.”

– Killer Mike

Being someone who can articulate the difference between being a sexist at times and a full-blown misogynist, what measures do you take when you write to keep that concern for public perception in your songs?

A lot of times you’ll say bitch unnecessarily. You can go back and you can fix that so that a clean version doesn’t need to be made. And it will sound doper or slicker.

It’s instinctive. It’s like pornography. You can’t really define what it is; you just know when you see it. You know when certain lines come to your head and it’s like, no that’s too far. My approach is I don’t belittle. I give opinions. I’m not here to degrade you. I’m not here to be over you. I’m not here to rule you. I can’t readily say what’s sexist or misogynistic. There’s a very thin line. I might fall into the sexist pail, as a man I may Killer Mike will open for GZA, step there, but I don’t see women as less than or who will be performing his legendary Liquid Swords incapable of. I don’t tread that path. album, at Ace of Spades And I say this as I look at “The Birthday Song” in Sacramento on Sept. 26. video by Tity Boi. [Sings] All I want on my birthday is This is a hip-hop show you won’t want to miss. Go to a big booty ho.

Aceofspadessac.com for more info and to purchase tickets.

SubmergeMag.com

9426 GreenBack

saturday, sept 29

rose funeral

You’ve mentioned that you and El-P are back working together. How’s that coming along?

El told me after the last record that this is just the beginning. These beats were just the ones he knew we were going to do. The next beats, the ones we’re going in on and the ones he’s playing for me, the ideas he’s coming with are pushing the limits of what we just did. I’m telling people don’t expect to hear me without El for the rest of my career.

I definitely want the anticipation and giddiness to always be there, but less in a “wonder what’s going to happen” kind of way and more of a, “I know what happens with Snoop and Dre” kind of way. I know what happens when Just Blaze and Hova [Jay-Z] get together.

You know what happens when [Ice] Cube gets together with Bomb Squad, that’s my thing. When [Scar]Face gets together with Mr. Lee. For me, after every record I try to destroy that guy and be a better version of myself. Me and El are going to kill what we just did.

There was also talk that one of the albums will be you and El-P sharing the rapping responsibilities. Is that still happening?

Exactly. That’s the next thing. The EP of me and him going back to back. Then, we’ll work on the album. I want to do a R.A.P. Music 2 and I’ve got to get a Pledge 4 [mixtape] going. Then, I’m going to do Elegant Elephant. That’s three solos for me. A lot of music in the next two to three years is what I’m anticipating.

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

15

Tickets Available @ Dimple Records, The Beat, Armadillo (Davis) Online: AceOfSpadesSac.com By Phone: 1.877.GND.CTRL OR 916.443.9202

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The SilVer lininG

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September 14

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

SAT u R DAy

September 29

October 10

October 11

Soma raS

SAT u R DAy

October 13

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

in Fear and FaiTh • VampireS eVerywhere Glamour oF The kill all human • i wiSh we were roBoTS

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

17

Crackin’ the Modern Age

Thursday NighTs !

T h g i N m a J N e a p B Ow/ miKe’s LOsT & FOuNd Nmd

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Nd Ja sTrumeNT a BriNg yOur iNiTh The BaNd Or ic aLONg w he greaT mus JusT eNJOy T

SOLOS’ Spencer Seim on His and Aaron Ross’ Excellent New Project Words Ryan J. Prado

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T

he seeds of SOLOS were sewn around 2007.

That was the year Nevada City freak-folk troubadour Aaron Ross rounded out an unlikely five-man partnership for Hella’s fourth full-length, There’s No 666 in Outer Space, providing vocals to a band internationally known for its aversion to much beyond breakneck timesignature gymnastics, sizzlingly technical guitarand-drum patterns and explosive live shows.

And while Hella’s been on a hiatus of sorts after its last LP, Tripper, was released in 2011—much of that having to do with drummer Zach Hill’s quiver of spectrum-spanning projects, such as the hugely popular Death Grips—guitarist Spencer Seim sought a crisp creative direction to aspire toward. There was only one person he considered to fill the half of that whole he was looking for.

“There’s just something about what Aaron does that I’m really into,” says Seim. “I’ve seen him play around town for years and there’s never been a single time I’ve seen him where he’s up there playing at a coffee shop or a local venue that I haven’t gotten goose bumps many times. I don’t know many other musicians that I get that with that consistently.”

So began the process of sussing out SOLOS, a new collaboration between Ross and Seim that’s already yielded probably the best, most imaginative and most sonically ballsy album of 2012 in their debut, Beast of Both Worlds (set to be released Sept. 11 via Joyful Noise Recordings).

As hyperbolic as it felt to type that, it’s a rare occasion to verbalize a reaction to an album with repeated, “Holy fucking shit”s while kneeling in front of a Netbook for the entirety of the record.

But Beast… is really that good. It’s brimming with enormous power-psych hooks, thick drums and the kind of sonic alchemy that seems totally unfair to other bands trying to make noise with instruments. Albums that sound this great, of

course, take a lot of time to put together.

“It’s the way things work in the music world unless you fully plan everything and know exactly when things are happening,” says Seim of the year-and-a-half-long process to release the record.

“But this was by the seat of our pants—kind of a more punk way of doing it. We just did everything on a budget and had a lot of people helping us and loaning us gear.”

Seim and Ross began writing together about two years ago, hoping to forge a unique hybrid wherein Seim’s progressive drumming would complement Ross’ seismic melodies, powerful guitar and witty, weird lyricisms. They performed around Nevada City and Sacramento under the working title Amaranth to demo songs in a live setting and dial them in a bit.

“The songs just needed a little boost I guess,” explains Seim. “Sometimes you write stuff and it comes out kicking ass in exactly the way you want it, but sometimes all the ideas are there and it needs some more working through. Playing it live in front of an audience, in my experience, changes songs quite a bit. Usually for the better.”

As Amaranth, Ross and Seim composed the songs that would reside on Beast… in about a month-and-a-half, and after playing out for a few months, they began the arduous task of talking with labels. But the duo didn’t get many responses to their work. Frustrated, Seim showed local producer Josh Henry their demos, who then passed them on to sought-after Abbey Road Studios engineer Guy Massey (Radiohead, Spiritualized, Depeche Mode) in England. Massey was immediately impressed by the group, who were now going by SOLOS, and invited them to travel overseas to make the record.

Seim was initially hesitant to work with a big-time engineer or producer, especially since without label support the duo were financing the

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18

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Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

record entirely themselves. On the strength of the demos, though, SOLOS seemed to already have their first number-one fan in Massey.

“Josh and Guy weren’t just hired to do this and try to make it sound as good as possible; they both did it for no money, just for the fun of the project,” says Seim. “They both had amazing ideas that we both really respected and enjoyed.

There was no ego or anything involved, it was just all of us trying to make the best record we could in 21 days. It was different than I had expected, but way better because it wasn’t this big time producer telling us what to do. [Guy] was this super level-headed dude with rad ideas, sitting Indian style on the floor surrounded by guitar effects dialing stuff while [Aaron] played, blasting stuff through amps and basically trying to get weird sounds that none of us had ever heard before.”

Considering Seim’s instrumental pedigree with Hella—as well as with Nintendo-core crew

The Advantage—getting weird sounds he hadn’t heard before would seem a pretty daunting task. But after hearing Ross’ mystical guitar progressions, and the overall haunted funhouse vibe of opener “Jung at Heart,” the Zeppelin-ish follow-up “All My Tribulations” and the excellent closing cover of Michael Jackson’s “They Don’t Care About Us,” you begin to understand just how far down the rabbit hole SOLOS was willing to travel.

For Seim, it was about channeling his musical sensibilities outside of the chaotic math-noise of his other projects, and allowing room for Ross’ songwriting talents to hold equal footing on Beast… After all, for Seim, two heads have always been better than one. Or three, or four or five for the most part.

“I’ve really enjoyed working on projects with just one other person in the past,” says Seim, “just because it’s two minds, and the way they fit together can make something really cool,

“Sometimes you write stuff and it comes out kicking ass in exactly the way you want it, but sometimes all the ideas are there and it needs some more working through. Playing it live in front of an audience, in my experience, changes songs quite a bit. Usually for the better.”

– Spencer Seim, SOLOS SubmergeMag.com

especially if they’re very different. Even though Zach and I were making a very specific type of music in Hella, we’re both very different and have very different ideas about music. It was much more of a rhythmic connection we had there. With Aaron, we have more of a melodic connection.”

Seim and Ross were also careful to strike a true balance between their seemingly disparate styles for SOLOS. “We had both just come from a band [Hella] that was very technical and was really trying to innovate in time signature and the way songs are arranged,” explains Seim. “With this project, we’re really just trying to do something new, something we haven’t heard before. But obviously, we don’t want to overplay in areas that aren’t necessary. We just want the beats or guitar parts to be interesting on their own and not have to be interesting because they’re fast or they’re in a strange time signature.

“We want it to be one entity and want you to be able to hear both of us in it, but not sound like us playing separately together, if that makes any sense.”

SOLOS began work on an even newer album six months ago, adding fellow Nevada City

denizen Jeff Schmidt into the fold, officially making the band a trio. The timing of this addition is fortunate for the band, considering the instrumentation they included on Beast of Both Worlds and its impossibility to transfer live with just two people. Schmidt is taking on a kind of bass/keys hybrid with baritone guitar in helping compose the band’s new tracks, as well as during live performances.

SOLOS is only just now dusting off the soot of all that recording. They’re booking local shows in and around Sacramento, San Francisco and Nevada City for now, and are mulling over fall and spring touring options, though nothing has still been announced. But with another record 90 percent finished, perhaps the best is still to come.

“We’re just starting to get back into live band mode,” says Seim. “We’ve been in record mode for basically a year now. This is our first album, and we really plan to get out there and Beast of Both Worlds make a lot more.” will be released Sept. 11.

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

For more information and for touring and live performance updates about SOLOS, visit Facebook.com/solosband, or Joyfulnoiserecordings. com/artists/solos.

19

Burger The Chef's Table • David Hill

The Eatery • Jess Milbourn

Michelangelo's • Paul Poore

The

The Golden Bear • Brian Mizner

BigLeagues Top notch chefs prepare for Sacramento’s first-ever burger battle

Words Nur Kausar • photos Rachel Valley

T

he first time Rodney Blackwell bit into a McDonald’s Quarter Pounder, he fell in love. But that was child’s play.

Blackwell, a Sacramento resident, entered the burger big leagues as an adult, ordering variations of the classic stack at fine diners, five-star restaurants and food trucks across the country.

In search of the perfect relationship between bun, patty and condiments, Blackwell started the blog and informational site Burgerjunkies.com. His tastes quickly sharpened as he approached burgers no holds barred. A patty topped with fried eggs?

Do it. Fiery habañero sauce? Sure.

However, he still couldn’t decide on Sacramento’s champion burger. After attending the Denver Burger Battle, Blackwell realized a side-by-side comparison might answer the question and would also allow locals to vote for their favorites.

“I got inspired at the Denver Burger Battle,” Blackwell says. “It had sold out. There were 12 restaurants, people having a good time with great energy. I wanted to bring that to Sacramento.”

The goal of Blackwell’s burger battle on Sept. 18 at Raley Field in West Sacramento is twofold: to showcase the dining scene available in the Sacramento area and to raise awareness and much needed funding for a great cause.

Blackwell’s 9-year-old daughter Karina has battled with Crohn’s disease for the past four years. According to the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America, the disease is a chronic inflammatory condition of the gastrointestinal tract that affects more than 700,000 people, causing loss of appetite and energy, and sometimes slowing growth and development in children.

“My daughter was diagnosed years ago and since I can’t cure the disease myself, I figured I’d do what I can to help those that are trying,” Blackwell says.

All the proceeds from the Sacramento Burger Battle will be donated to the local CCFA chapter. Blackwell had already raised $12,000 since announcing the battle, and tickets for the event are still available.

“For charity it’s a great feat in and of itself, but I’d still like to sell out tickets,” Blackwell says about the current donations and sales.

The $55 entry ticket covers the generous burger samples from

20

Ettore's • Pedro Depina

/ rachelvalley.com

15 high-caliber restaurants; craft beer from Sierra Nevada, Ruhstaller and Lagunitas; wine tastings from Crystal Basin and Perry Creek; Woodchuck cider; non-alcoholic beverages; live music and parking.

Attendees will have to pace themselves with the burgers—despite being sample-size, several chefs plan to pack big flavors into those few bites.

Chef Jose Silva, known for his exotic meat patties at the Flaming Grill, says judges and attendees might get their chance at trying wild boar, antelope, goat, camel or even kangaroo.

“We try to keep it simple—with a good bun and sauce and high quality meat,” Silva says.

For Chef Pedro Depina of Ettore’s European Bakery and Restaurant, the burger bun is extremely important in making a top notch burger, “because it’s the first thing you taste.”

“We’re going to let our bun speak for itself,” Depina says, noting the buns are made at Ettore’s. “Then comes the meat, and we use all natural Niman Ranch.”

As for the other ingredients, Depina says freshness, quality and the marriage of the flavors are the best ways to know a burger is made well.

“We’re going to keep it classic,” he adds of the Ettore’s entry. “No bells and whistles, just in your face.”

Asked which Sacramento burger is his favorite, Depina has no shame.

“The one we make here, I eat one once a week, but don’t tell my wife,” he laughs.

Other major players in the battle include burger award-winner Thir13een, de Vere’s Irish Pub, Kupros Bistro, Shady Lady Saloon, The Porch, Squeeze Inn and several others.

“All the chefs, we’re all good friends,” says Depina. “We eat at each other’s restaurants so this will be a friendly throw-down.”

One local chef is not competing, but judging. Bret Bohlmann, chef and owner of Boulevard Bistro in Elk Grove, will be one of five judges.

Blackwell says he reached out to Bohlmann because he makes a great burger, but his restaurant no longer has it on the menu so he figured judging would be his next best option.

Other judges include Congressman John Garamendi, food writer and blogger Erin Jackson, Corti Brothers Food Director Rick

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Mindermann and Executive Chef Mike Ward of Feeding Crane Farms.

Though Bohlmann has never judged a burger competition, he does have an idea for his approach that day.

“First, it has to be visually appealing,” he says.

Then, he adds, the burger must have quality ingredients and be cooked properly.

From there, judges will look at the kinds of extra ingredients used and whether those ingredients “marry well—belong together so that when you take a bite, everything works,” says Bohlmann.

One concern Bohlmann does have is burning out on burger too early, meaning after a few, he doesn’t want all the different entries melding together to cause faulty judging.

“A burger is quite fatty. A meat patty can have 15 to 20 percent fat, which coats your mouth, so we need a palate cleanser,” he says.

“It’s something to think about because you want to taste everyone’s unique creation.”

A light, refreshing pilsner might do the trick.

Bohlmann is also hoping the burger challenge will spark continued creativity to the already impressive menus and styles now available in Sacramento.

“I think this will make people rise up and create something new for their menus,” he says. “In the last 10 years we’ve really grown.

Zagat came through and rated everybody, and we’re really putting our mark on California.”

Depina adds that the culinary landscape of Sacramento has changed for the better during the 20 years he’s been in the business, and a competition like this is comparable to other California cities that boast the best in dining.

“Sacramento is one of the heavy hitters in the food industry now, like Napa and San Francisco,” he says. “You don’t have to travel all

“All the chefs, we’re all good friends. We eat at each other’s restaurants so this will be a friendly throw-down.”

– Chef Pedro Depina, Ettore’s European Bakery and Restaurant

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Restaurant Thir13en • Adam Pechal

The Porch • Jonathan Clemons

de Vere's • Wesley Nilssen

LaTe NighT happy 7 DayS a Week houR 10pMCLoSe

Kupro's • Christopher Wood

Squeeze Inn • Eric Ostberg

The Delta King • Kevin Bowes

The Flaming Grill • Jose Silva

The Shady Lady • Kevin Ritchie

Krush Burger • Davin Vculek

the way over there to get good food. We’re the breadbasket of the state, with all this good local produce. We’re all pushing to eat in our own neighborhood, our own backyard.”

Blackwell has been doing just that for many years, but says he is looking forward to what the chefs come up with for the burger battle.

“I’ve tried them all, so I’m looking forward to trying them side by side,” Blackwell adds. “It’s hard to say when you spread out eating them one week at a time which is best. All Sept. 18 is National Cheeseburger of these are some of my favorites I’ve tried and Day, and also the date of the reviewed.”

Sacramento Burger Battle. This Blackwell also recently received a call from an will be a slobber knocker of meaty organizer of the World Food Championships, which proportions, so don’t miss out. For will be held in Las Vegas in November, asking if more information or to buy tickets, visit Sacburgerbattle.com. You must the burger battle could be used as a qualifier for be 21 years or older to attend. Eat the championship. hearty knowing the proceeds will The stakes have been raised a bit because of go toward a worthy cause. To learn this announcement, Blackwell says, but he feels more about the Northern California the burger chefs of Sacramento would be able to chapter of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of America, go to CCFA. represent their country well if any of them makes org/chapters/northerncalifornia. it to the world competition.

SubmergeMag.com

$3 Well Drinks / $4 Wines / $2 Beers

Grange • Oliver Ridgeway

Brunch Lunch Dinner Late night Dining

2718 J Street Sacramento

916.706.2275 TheRedRabbit.net Facebook.com/ SacRabbit

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

21

music, comedy & misc. Calendar

Sept. 10 – 24

submergemag.com/calendar use a qr scanner on your smart phone to view calendar online

9.10 Monday

Ace of Spades Blaqk Audio, Hi Deaf, 7 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Mondavi Center for the Performing Arts Silversun Pickups, School of Seven Bells, Atlas Genius, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Nuance, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Gypsy Fish, 6 p.m.

9.12 Wednesday

Ace of Spades Iration, The Expendables, Cisco Adler, 6:30 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Steve McLane, 8 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Funk Night w/ DJ Larry, 10 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Boats, Vibrators, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 98 Rock’s Local Licks Night w/ Dogfood, Allinaday, A Single Second, 8 p.m.

Press Club Darlingchemicalia, Margy Pepper, Soil, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino California Malibu’s, 7 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Jam, 5:30 p.m.; Jay Lingo, The Delta City Ramblers, 9 p.m.

Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

University Union Ballroom, CSUS El Grito Mexican Independence Day Celebration, 12 p.m.

9.13 9.11 thursday

Tuesday

The Blue Lamp The Fresh & Onlys, Terry Malts, G Green, 7 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Le Twist w/ Sam I Jam, Adam J, Taylor Cho, Roger Carpio, 9 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Moonface, Foxygen, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Dirt Nap Band, 5:30 p.m.

Midtown Village Cafe Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m.

Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino California Malibu’s, 7 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club Bill Mylar, 5:30 p.m.; Lew Fratis, 9 p.m.

Townhouse GRIMEY w/ J-Sweet, Cedaa, Joaquin Bartra, DJ Whores, Crescendo and more, 9 p.m.

22

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Ace of Spades Aesop Rock, Rob Sonic, Big Wiz, Dark Time Sunshine, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Scott H. Biram, Restavrant, 8:30 p.m.

The Boardwalk Brutha Smith (Album Release), Foothill Fam, Cherry Red, Good Ol’ Boyz, Str8 Laced, Spook Houze, 7 p.m.

Bows and Arrows Golden Shoulders, Dana Gumbiner, Brett Shady, 8 p.m.

The Cave Set To Reflect, Common Crooks, As Artifacts, 8 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Lucky Laskowski, 8 p.m.

Harlow’s The Growlers, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Shady Rest Band, Olla Ubay, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Dave Russell, 9:30 p.m.

Press Club Old Firm Casuals, City of Vain, Toughskins, Bricktop, Old Glory, 7 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Live by the Groove, 5 p.m.; Chris Gardner, 10 p.m.

Shine Sly Park, Dawns, J. Wong, The Wheels, 8 p.m.

Sunrise MarketPlace Outdoor Pavilion Blondie, Devo, 6:30 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5 p.m.; Con Brio, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Mike James, Grounded, 6 p.m.

9.15

Red Hawk Casino California Malibu’s, 7 p.m.

Shine The Mapletones, 8 p.m.

Torch Club X Trio, 5 p.m.; Candye Kane, 9 p.m.

9.14 Friday

Ace of Spades Anthrax, Testament, Death Angel, 6:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Hellbound Glory, Forever Goldrush, 50 Watt Heavy, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Rose Funeral, The Kennedy Veil, Soma Ras, Gary Busey Amber Alert, And Came Back Brutal, A Plague Upon Her, 5:30 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Hans Eberbach, 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m.

Colonial Theatre 2 Year Roc Da Mic Anniversary Concert, 7 p.m.

District 30 DJ Benji, 9 p.m.

Elkhorn Saloon Neckbone, 6 p.m.

Fox & Goose Spangler, Martin Purtill, Mad Caps, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Goapele, Kev Choice, 10 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Bat Guano Fest w/ The Left Hand, Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits, Mad Judy, The Community, Cold Heart Re-Press, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe The Jefferies, Xochitl Hermosillo, Fox Colton, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Musical Charis, Light Brigade, Goldener, 9 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ E Rock, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub The Decades, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Saturday

Ace of Spades Quiet Riot, Maxxx, Force Of Habit, Force Multiplied, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Jealous Sound, Day Trader, 8 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Jacka, Playah K, Mark Snipes, J Dub, Rick Mo, R-Dot Carter, Dope Kidd, No Mutiny Cliq, 7 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino The E Family: Pete Escovedo, Sheila E., The J, Peter Michael, 8 p.m.

The Cave The Tomorrow People, Drive-Thru Mystics, Josh Rosenblum Band, Glass Elevator, Would-Be Train Robbers, 8 p.m.

Elkhorn Saloon Dry County Drinkers, 6 p.m.

Estrellita Ballroom (Galt) Summer Love 2012 w/ Krewella, Autoerotique, Dyloot, G.A.M.M.A., Atom O.N.E., Kontrol Freqs, Mike Diamond, Jeff Thompson, Vincent Salas, 7 p.m.

Fox & Goose Kevin Seconds, Ramblin’ Andy, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Chronic Vitality, 9:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Julianna Zachariou, 7 p.m.; New Monsoon, 9:30 p.m.

Henningsen-Lotus Park American River Music Festival w/ Dangermuffin, Tony Furtado, Wheeler Brothers, Ray Bonneville w/ Nina Gerber, Birds of Chicago, 11 a.m.

Howard Park (Ione) Sk8fest 2012 w/ Maiden’s Sorrow, Secretions, RAD, Siafu, Raw Dawg, Mind Infect, Cuttin’ Loose and more, 12 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Bat Guano Fest w/ The Walking Dead, Rat Damage, Support The Rabid, Strange Party, Union Hearts, Killdevil, Croissants, Porter Project, Dead Dads, Sneeze Attack!, Crude Studs, Abandoned Generation, 3 p.m.

9.15

Dangermuffin

American River Music Festival Henningsen-Lotus Park 11 a.m.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Pine Cove Open Mic Night, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub College Night w/ DJ Rigatony, DJ Alazzawi, 10:30 p.m.

Press Club FFFreak w/ CrookOne, DJ Hailey, Dogtones, 9:30 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Buck Ford, 7 p.m.

Shine Jazz Jam w/ Jason Galbraith & Guests, 8 p.m.

T2 Nightclub & Lounge Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Torch Club James Cavern, 5:30 p.m.; Dippin’ Sauce, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Gypsy Fish, 6 p.m.

9.19

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9.19

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Sea of Bees Bows and Arrows 8 p.m.

wednesday

Luna’s Cafe Western Lights, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Chuck’s Annual Pirate and Wench Party w/ DJ Hawk, 8:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Southlot, Barrell Fever, Moose Knuckle, 9 p.m.

PJ’s Roadhouse (Placerville) End of Summer Festival w/ Element of Soul, Dogfood, Street Urchinz, The Old Screen Door, Island of Black and White, Low Tide Riot, Mike Tyson, Cidney Cunningham, Matt Gillies, DJ Old Griff, DJ Zephyr, 4 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Politik, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Live by the Groove, 5 p.m.; Chris Gardner, 10 p.m.

Shenanigans The Rhythm Section w/ Janet Wallace, Kev Choice, 9 p.m.

Shine Chad Wagoner, 8 p.m.

Sol Collective UNDWRLDFEST w/ Swain, Soosh*E, Uce Juice, Sky High, TBC, J.Good, Chuuwee, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Sista Monica, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Pop Freq w/ DJ X-GVNR, 9 p.m.

Vega’s Silhouette of Mirrors, The Ostrich Theory, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Reggie Graham & the Groove Solution, Next to the Tracks, 1 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Aces Up, 7 p.m.

Shady Lady Booze For Boobs! w/ Alex Nelson, The Twilight Drifters, Golden Cadillacs, Richard March, The Alkali Flats, Arden Park Roots, 3 p.m.

Shine Delayed Sleep, Chikading!, 7:30 p.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; The Golden Cadillacs, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Well Red, Strange Tongues, Black Grease, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Mo, Mr. R, Mikey James & The Adventure of Fun Squad, 12 p.m.

9.17 Monday

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides The Nuance, 7:30 p.m.

On The Y PDP, Blessed Curse, Sans Sobriety, Removal of a Tenth, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

9.16 9.18 Sunday

Tuesday

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Dive Bar Element of Soul, 9 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Avenue Saints, Astral Cult, 9:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Mason Jennings, 8 p.m.

Henningsen-Lotus Park American River Music Festival w/ Roy Rogers and the Delta Rhythm Kings, Poor Man’s Whiskey, Tom Russell, Joe Craven Trio, Rita Hosking and Cousin Jack, 11 a.m.

Powerhouse Pub Marshall Law Band, 3 p.m.

Ace of Spades Flobots, Astronautalis, Forrest Day, 6:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Huckle, True Spokes, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Folsom Hotel Folsom Live! Battle of the Bands, 5:30 p.m.

Marilyn’s Acoustic MRQ, 5:30 p.m.

Midtown Village Cafe Acoustic Open Mic, 8 p.m.

Old Ironsides Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Phono Select Dinosaur Jr. Listening Party, 6 p.m.

SubmergeMag.com

Bows and Arrows Zee Avi, Sea of Bees, 8 p.m.

Club Car The Double Shots, 7:30 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Traditional Irish Jam Session, 7 p.m.

Marilyn’s Terraplane Suns, Mowglis, 9 p.m.

Midtown Village Cafe Midtown Out Loud, 6:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Open Mic, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub 98 Rock’s Local Licks Night w/ Secretions, The Scowndrolls, The Bar Fly Effect, 8 p.m.

Press Club Psychosomatic, Aggravator, Steel Bearing Hand, 30.06, 8 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Buck Ford, 7 p.m.

Torch Club Acoustic Open Mic, 5:30 p.m.; Mark Sexton Band, 9 p.m.

Uncle Vitos (Davis) Boom Bip w/ The Flower Vato, 10 p.m.

University Union Serna Plaza, CSUS Nooner w/ Angels Landing, 12 p.m.

Woodlake Hotel Anthony Hamilton, 7 p.m.

9.20 Thursday

Ace of Spades Tomorrows Bad Seeds, Through The Roots, Simple Creation, Street Urchinz, Island Of Black & White, 6:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Mighty Regis, The Stout Rebellion, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk Boondox, Cousin Cleetus, Dark Shop, Chop Shop, 2HK, Paradox, 420 Darkside Boyz, Kickuindateef, Divided Allegiance, Side FX, 6:30 p.m.

Club Car Songwriters Showcase, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Open Mic Night, 8 p.m.

The Davis Graduate Sean Paul, 9 p.m.

Dive Bar Dueling Pianos, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Mike Justis Band, 8 p.m.

G Street WunderBar Judgement Day, Who Cares, Opus Orange, 8:30 p.m.

Harlow’s Sizzling Sirens Burlesque, 9 p.m. continued on page 24

>>

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Musical Charis, Light Brigade, Goldener

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The Moans,The Left Hand, Avenue Saints, Strange Party

9pm $5

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Southlot, Barrell Fever, Moose Knuckle

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Jem & Scout, Mondo Deco, Victory and Associates, Cigarette Machine

9pm $5

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deeelicious old timey lunches served monday - friday 11:30am - 2pm Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

23

Marilyn’s Rock On Live Band Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Old Ironsides Bluegrass Acoustic Jam, 7:30 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Trent Tomlinson, Kymmi & Diamondback, 9:30 p.m.

Shine Chris Trapper, Hans Eberbach, 8 p.m.

Torch Club Fundraiser for Phil Serna, 6 p.m.

Townhouse Blitz w/ DJ Roderick, 9 p.m.

Press Club DJ Rue, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Tom Drinnon, 5 p.m.; Endangered Souls, 10 p.m.

Shenanigans The New Pioneers, Shannon McCabe, Halcyon, 9 p.m.

Shine Wife & Son, Moondrool, Symphony, 8 p.m.

Swabbies on the River UrbanFire, DJ Wokstar, 6 p.m.

Torch Club Pailer & Fratis, 5 p.m.; Mercy Me, 9 p.m.

Vega’s Some Fear None, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Gypsy Fish, Mr. Erik James, 6 p.m.

9.21 9.22 FRIDAY

monday

tuesday

Wednesday

night open9:30pm-1:30am ultimate Bar challenge, no cover! football mic no cover! [trivia & more] 8:30-10:30pm Wednesday

thursday

Beers starting at9-11pm50¢ sEpt Battle th of the power hour and drinks 1.50 thursday, friday and saturday

karaoke

9pm-1:30am no cover!

super sunday football fun day

football gameS all day

acoustic open jam

26

winner

Saturday

Ace of Spades The Used, Twin Atlantic, Stars in Stereo, 7 p.m.

The Blue Lamp The Session w/ X-Kid, Mighty, GLife, Ngalula Dodier, Light Skinned Creole and more, 9 p.m.

The Boardwalk The Great Destroyer, Queen Alice, Beneath the Moon, Calista Sky, Forever at Lexington, 7 p.m.

Bows and Arrows The Kelps, Crow Canyon, Simpl3jack, The Trees, 8 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Adam Donald, 9 p.m.

Cache Creek Casino The Unauthorized Rolling Stones, 8 p.m.

The Cave Slump, CTLGS, Auxcide, 8 p.m.

The Coffee Garden Drive-Thru Mystics, Captain Amazing and the Okay I Guesses, Blue Oaks, Kolton Kammerer, 7 p.m.

District 30 DJ Billy Lane, 9 p.m.

Elkhorn Saloon Birthday Party for Tower Records founder Russ Solomon, 4 p.m.; Whiskey and Stitches, 6 p.m.

Fox & Goose Ardellas Crown, Memories, Sherman Baker, 9 p.m.

Harlow’s Katie Knipp, 7 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Wrings, Via Coma, Minus Gravity, Le Vice, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Orange Morning, Leslie Clausen, Mark Corwin, Joe Camera, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Guitar Mac Blues Express, 8 p.m.

Midtown Village Cafe Knock Knock, Tono, Ford Ancient, 8 p.m.

The Brodys

Face 4 Radio, Jet Black Popes Old Ironsides 9 p.m.

performs

after nfl

10:30pm12:30am no cover!

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

9.23 Sunday

Cache Creek Casino Johnny Yip, Mindy Quah, 1 p.m. & 4 p.m.

Capitol Garage Karaoke w/ Jeff Jenkins, 9 p.m.

Discovery Park Aftershock Festival w/ Stone Temple Pilots, Deftones, Bush, Chevelle, Theory of a Deadman, Hollywood Undead, Oleander, Escape the Fate, Stepchild, FallRise and more, 11 a.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 8 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Shane Dwight, 3 p.m.

Press Club Sunday Night Soul Party w/ DJ Larry & DJ Hailey, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Jackson Michelson, 7 p.m.

The Red Rabbit Breezin w/ Shaun Slaughter, 11 a.m.

Torch Club Blues Jam, 4 p.m.; Dry County Drinkers, 8 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Rob Larkin, Joseph Eid, Gypsy Fish, 12 p.m.

9.24 Monday

Ace of Spades Kreator, Swallow the Sun, Black Mackerel, Blessed Curse, 6:30 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Open Mic Variety Night, 8 p.m.

Distillery Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Fox & Goose Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m.

Harlow’s The Features, 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Nebraska Mondays hosted by Ross Hammond, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Sol Collective Microphone Mondays, 8 p.m.

Townhouse Open Mic, 9 p.m.

cidney cunningham

th &E St sac (916) 446-3624 29 Facebook.com/PinecoveTavern • TwiTTer - @PinecoveTavern

24

musicians

Ace of Spades Beyond All Ends, Dead By Nightfall, Engraved In Armor, The Sun Sets Here, Afraid Of Falling, Before Me, Without Conclusion, 6:30 p.m.

The Blue Lamp Kill the Precedent, Judgement Day, Lonely Kings, 8:30 p.m.

Bows and Arrows Boss Biz, The New Aira, K-SI, ItsGodzilla!, Sunny B, A Game, GFN & R3B, Cel, Cuddy Kev, 7 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Vagabond Bros., 9 p.m.

Capitol Garage Get Down to the Champion Sound w/ DJ Esef and special guests, 10 p.m.

The Cave Sunfighter, The Midnight Snackers, The Young Vintage, 8 p.m.

Fox & Goose The Inversions, Pushtonawanda, Norfolk Jacket, Not For Profit, 9 p.m.

Golden Bear DJ Crook, 10 p.m.

Harlow’s Catherine Russell, 7 p.m.; Orgone, Rubblebucket, 10 p.m.

Luigi’s Fungarden Lindsey Paveo, Karla Davis, Lee Koch, 8 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Kelly Rogers, Zoe Sundra, Laura Ganci, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Copper and Glass, 9:30 p.m.

Old Ironsides Trainwreck Revival, Carly DuHain Band, The Other Brittany, 9 p.m.

On The Y Axis, Dopethroat, Trench, 8 p.m.

The Park Ultra Lounge DJ Scene, DJ Eddie Edul, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Plea for Peace Center The Mighty Regis, Mykal Parsons Project, 7:30 p.m.

Powerhouse Pub Folsom Live!

Kickoff, 6 p.m.

Old Ironsides Face 4 Radio, The Brodys, Jet Black Popes, 9 p.m.

Pine Cove Karaoke, 9 p.m.

Press Club DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9 p.m.

Red Hawk Casino Tom Drinnon, 5 p.m.; The Spazmatics, 10 p.m.

Shenanigans The Broun Fellinis, James Cavern, 9 p.m.

Shine Marc Del Chiaro, Joseph Eid & Rob Larkin, 8 p.m.

Sutter Street Folsom Live! w/ Jack Ingram, Arden Park Roots, Atomic Punks, Inspector 71, Maxx Cabello, Jr. and more, 5 p.m.

Torch Club Johnny Guitar Knox, 5 p.m.; Funk-Defied, Hans & the Hot Mess, 9 p.m.

Townhouse Pop Freq w/ DJ X-GVNR, 9 p.m.

ZuhG Life Store Kelly Rogers, Mantra Band, Ken Koenig, Gypsy Fish, 1 p.m.

9.22

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

Comedy Crest Theatre Joe Rogan, Sept. 14, 7 p.m.

Lisa Lampanelli, Sept. 22, 7 p.m.

Laughs Unlimited The Tribute 2 Troops w/ Troy Nelson, Daniel Humbarger, Mark G, DJ Sandhu, Sept. 12, 7 p.m.

Ngaio Bealum, Shea Suga, Sept.

13 - 16, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Best of Open Mic Showcase, Sept.

18, 8 p.m.

Steve White, Suli McCullough, Sept. 20 - 23, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10:30 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Luna’s Cafe Keith Lowell Jensen’s Comedy Night, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Marilyn’s Sanity Nit Included Comedy Tour w/ Chad Meisenheimer, Megan Covarrubias, Brett Mann, Saul Trujillo, Jason Violation, Jimmie The Comedian Menezes, Austin Hodge, Sept. 12, 8 p.m.

MontBleu Resort Casino 37th Annual San Francisco StandUp Comedy Competition, Sept.

15, 7 p.m.

Po’Boyz Bar & Grill (Folsom) Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 9 p.m.

Punchline Comedy Club Slanted Comedy, Sept. 12, 8 p.m.

Jake Johannsen, Sept. 13 - 16, Thurs., 8 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sam Bam’s Comedy Jam, Sept.

20, 8 p.m.

Christopher Titus, Sept. 21 - 23, Fri. & Sat., 8 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Sacramento Comedy Spot Sacramento Comedy Festival, through Sept. 15 Open Mic Scramble, Sept. 16 - 17 & 23 - 24, 7 p.m.

Comedy Space w/ Tim and Ray, Sept. 18, 8 p.m.

I Challenge You! Comedy Game Show, Sept. 20, 9 p.m.

Top 10 List Podcast Live!, Sept.

21, 8 p.m.

In Your Facebook, Sept. 22, 8 p.m.

The Stoney Inn Comedy Open Mic, every Monday, 8 p.m.

Tommy T’s Open Mic Night, Sept. 12, 7:30 p.m.

Earthquake, Sept. 14 - 16, Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Comedy Showcase, Sept. 19, 7:30 p.m.

Rodney Perry, Sept. 20 - 23, Thurs., 7:30 p.m.; Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m.; Sun., 7 p.m.

Misc.

19th & C Streets Pedal Hard presents: “Warp Speed” A Sprint Race, Sept. 14, 9 p.m.

Alex Bult Gallery Work by Susan Tonkin Riegel, through Oct. 6 Artisan Building Legacy Youth Project Performance Series, Sept. 14 - 16

Axis Gallery Chance Encounters by Shirley Hazlett, through Sept. 30 Ben Ali Shriners Center 8th Annual Peruvian Food Festival, Sept. 23, 11 a.m.

Blue Cue Trivia Night, every Wednesday, 6:30 p.m.

Bows & Arrows Mitra Fabian’s Signs of Growth, through Oct. 3, 6 p.m.

Nerd Night, Sept. 12, 7 p.m.

Author Reading: Steven Unger’s Dancing in the Streets, Sept. 21, 7 p.m.

The Boxing Donkey Trivia Night, every Tuesday, 8 p.m.

Centro Cocina Mexicana 18th Anniversary Celebration, Sept.

13 - 15 Church of the Holy Virgin Mary (West Sac) Mediterranean Food & Music Festival, Sept. 22, 11 a.m.

The Coffee Garden The Sacramento LGBT Board Game Meetup, Sept. 19, 7 p.m.

Colonial Theatre TWF Turmoil: Live Wrestling!, Sept. 15, 7 p.m.

Crest Theatre Henry Rollins’ Capitalism 2012 Tour, Sept. 13, 7 p.m.

Discovery Park 18th Annual California Brewers Festival, Sept. 15, 12:30 p.m.

Elliott Fouts Gallery Gale Hart’s Show Some Emotion, through Oct. 4 Fox & Goose Pub Quiz, every Tuesday, 7 p.m.

The Greens Hotel ZOMBIFEST! A Sac Horror Film Festival Fundraiser, Sept. 21, 7 p.m.

MadMen Pool Party Extravaganza, Sept. 22, 2 p.m.

Historic Chinatown Mall Chinatown Mall Culture Fair, Sept.

23, 11 a.m.

Luna’s Cafe Poetry Unplugged, every Thursday, 8 p.m.

Amnesty International Movie Night, Sept. 11, 6:30 p.m.

Midtown Village Cafe Breakfast with the Beatles, Sept.

16, 10 a.m.

Pine Cove Ultimate Bar Challenge, Trivia and more, every Wednesday, 8 p.m.

Plaza Park (Village of Fair Oaks) 7th Annual Chicken Festival, Sept.

15, 8 a.m.

Raley Field Sacramento Burger Battle, Sept.

18, 7 p.m.

The Rink Sac City Rollers present: Brawl in the Family w/ Rude Girls vs.

Sweaty Betties vs. Notorious Knockouts, Sept. 15, 6:30 p.m.

Rio Ramaza Marina & Event Park Oneness Peace Festival, Sept. 15 - 16, 12 p.m.

Seafarer’s Marketplace and Pirate Festival, Sept. 22 - 23, 11 a.m.

Sacramento Convention Center A Taste of Sacramento, Sept. 21, 5:30 p.m.

9.13

Henry Rollins Crest Theatre 7 p.m.

Sekou’s BBQ Kings & Queens Poetry Night w/ The Poet i, Sean King, Leah Albright-Byrd, Anna Marie, Emmanuel Sigauke, M.E. Miller, Sept. 15, 7 p.m.

Shakers Pub Farmers Tan Competition, Sept.

22, 8 p.m.

Shine Poetry with Legs hosted by Bill Gainer, Sept. 12, 7:30 p.m.

Artist Showcase w/ Gin Woodruff, Sept. 15, 6 p.m.

Sol Collective Jesse Drew’s Winter in America and Glenda Drew’s Food for Thought, opening receptions Sept.

14, 7 p.m.

Time Tested Books Sacramento Living Library: Remembering the Belmonte Gallery, Sept. 16, 7 p.m.

University Union Ballroom, CSUS Mentalist Craig Karges, Sept. 13, 7:30 p.m.

Sason: The Academics of Latin Dance, Sept. 15, 7 p.m.

THURSDAYS - 9PM

T U E S D AY S

W E D N E S D AY S

INDUSTRY NIGHT • HAPPY HOUR SERIES

$3 PINTS HEFEWEIZEN

9/11 Happy Hour Dirt Nap Band 9/18 Happy Hour Acoustic MRQ 9/25 Happy Hour Joseph Eid & Rob Larkin NO COVER

9/12 SanityNot Included Comedy Tour 9/19 Terraplane suns and Mowglis

F R I D AY S

S A T U R D AY S

9/21 Copper and Glass 9/28 Brian Jennings, Island of Black and White, Old Screen Door

SELLOUT SATURDAY

9/15 Chuck's Annual Pirate and Wench Party 9/22 Guitar Mac Blues Express 9/29 SexRat, Golden Ghosts, and Sicfus

$5 validation @1Oth & L • FREE PARKING after 6PM

SubmergeMag.com

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

25

on the road

R

ecently, members of The Souterrain (Lauren Cole Norton and David Sachs) teamed up with fellow Davis residents Alex Roth and Andy Lentz of The West Nile Ramblers for a tour through Ireland and North Ireland. The two groups merged to play each other's sets, according to Norton, who shared her tour diary with Submerge.

1. Three days before we are due to fly to Ireland, Alex Roth’s prosthetic front tooth falls out. No dentist in Sacramento will glue it back in for fear of being sued. We figure it will be easier to find an unscrupulous Irish dentist, so we make the transatlantic trip with the incisor tucked away in his wallet.

6. Myself, Lauren Cole Norton, waitin’ around to play.

The Souterrain and West Nile Ramblers Tour Ireland

Photos by Richie Tyndall with Lauren Cole Norton, Alex Roth & Emily Barry

Norton, a native of Bray, County Wicklow, just 11 miles south of Dublin, told us via email that The Souterrain and West Nile Ramblers decided to just tour the Emerald Isle so they could spend less time traveling and more time playing. Their travels brought Norton and company back to Bray during a very special time. Ireland’s gold medal boxer in the London

2. This is what $200 of excess baggage looks like, with David Sachs (6-foot-6) for scale.

7. Ready to play a bluegrass session on a Sunday afternoon in Belfast.

Olympics, Katie Taylor, also from Bray, was in town being honored for her victory.

“The town has been through some hard times, especially since the recession, and all of a sudden there was bunting everywhere and celebration and thousands of people going out to the pubs,” Norton said of her homecoming via email. “It was a great time to play a show, even though, in typical Irish

3. First stop Galway, where this gent has the right idea when it comes to a nutritious breakfast.

4. Our new home! Lulu, a two berth ’91 Volkswagon Westfalia with a diesel problem. She did double duty as a practice space, deli, and sleeping quarters.

I sold her off at the end of the tour with an additional 5,000 miles on the clock.

7. DeBarra’s Folk Club in Clonakilty, which had a foot of water in the bar the week before we arrived. The famous pub was looking lush after the flood.

fashion, the weather was dark and dreary and we were attempting to play outside! As an added bonus, the Porter House bar put us up in their hotel rooms overlooking the sea. It felt like a very happy coming together of old friends and family and the new life I’ve made for myself as a performer in the states.”

Norton narrates the Davis musicians’ travels via the captions and photos below. –JB

5. Andy Lentz after one too many nights fiddlin’.

8. Babydoll and the Scarecrow sharing a mic at the Sitting Room Sessions.

9. Pit stop in the Ring of Kerry.

11. In all my years of living in Ireland, I never visited the Cliffs of Moher. Traveling with the band is the perfect excuse to do touristy stuff.

10. Playing till first light at The Thatch Bar in Donegal.

12. Sunset in Connemara, where we spent three days living in the servant quarters of Foyle’s Hotel while we played shows in the bar.

14. Mullarkey’s in Clifden, a real musician's bar.

26

15. Thigh high in shit, bogman David Sachs.

16. Our trek through the bogs of Sligo with a pair of adventurous locals brought us to a secret waterfall and swimming hole. International cliff jumping with no health insurance is a real thrillseeker’s sport.

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

13. West Nile roadie.

17. After breaking this barricade, we discovered our vehicle is indeed taller than 2.1 meters.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

E s t a b l i s h E d

1 8 7 8

******************** 18. Keeping free and clean on the road, courtesy of the Atlantic ocean.

19. The circus comes to town! Traffic in Ballyshannon, Donegal.

19. Competing in the Ballyshannon Folk Festival Competition…

Legendary

, venue restaurant and bar now open ******************** F r i d ay N i g h t Saturday Night

20. …and winning it!

21. Opening for Irish Folk Legend Paul Brady.

22. With Paul Brady after the gig. His songwriting comprehends the intimacy of love and violence with acuity and humour. I grew up listening to his music and we were all honored to share a stage with him.

Ribs Fish Fry BBChQi cken &

no cover

Live Music

Friday

-----------Mike Ward Band sept 14 neCkBone 6 p.m.

saturday

sept 15 6 p.m.

dry County drinkers Birthday Party for toWer reCords founder russ soloMon! 4 p.m.

23. A well deserved day off.

Sun’s out, guns out.

24. We destroyed the lawn at the beautiful Martinstown House during the Secret Garden Festival. The family gave us a dig out with their tractor.

25. Recording at Edenvella Studios in Leitrim in a beautiful converted barn.

Whiskey and stitChes

saturday

sept 22

6 p.m. saturday

sept 29 keri Carr Band

7 p.m.

Friday

Push

OCt 5 6 p.m.

C OM I NG SOON

Oct 6 ISLAND OF BLACK AND WHITE

26. Get them hooked while they’re young.

A new fan at the Ballinamore Fringe Festival.

SubmergeMag.com

27. Nearing the end of the tour, a little time out for contemplation and stone throwing near Westport, County Mayo.

28. Back in Yolo and looking forward to our homecoming show.

Check out The Souterrain facebook page for details about their upcoming tour: Facebook.com/ thesouterrain

Enjoy the country!

15 minutes 20 minutes

from

downtown Sac.

from

downtown Davis

18398 Old RivER Rd WEst sacRamEntO, calif. 95691 (916) 371- 2277 Elkhornsaloon.com

Facebook.com/elkhorncountrySaloon

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

27

Live<< rewind

Against Me

Against Me!, Andrew Jackson Jihad, Joyce Manor Ace of Spaces, Sacramento • Monday, Sept. 3, 2012

Words Zachary Ahern • Photos Russell Volksen As the hot Labor Day sun set in Sacramento, a young and riled up crowd gathered in a long line up and down R Street surrounding Ace of Spades.

Many of these teens were eagerly anticipating the inspiring angst-driven tunes of Naples, Fla.’s Against Me! before returning to school after a memorable Labor Day. Opening the festivities was Torrance, Calif.’s Joyce Manor. The band wasted no time belting out loud pop-punk tunes that commanded the increasing crowd’s attention. Guitarist and vocalist Barry Johnson aggressively strummed power and octave chords and singing discernible vocals that were stylistically akin to ‘90s cult icon Jesse Michaels of Operation Ivy fame, or at times similar to Trevor Keith of Face to Face.

Most of the songs were short and sweet, and they had to be since their set lasted only 20 minutes. However, songs such as “Constant

Nothing” and “Midnight Service at the Mutter Museum” had lasting power beyond the twominute tunes they were playing; pop-y bass lines were being delivered from Matt’s Fender Jazz, while the mid-tempo drumming was precise. For a band seemingly unknown, several members of the crowd were singing along to their catchy songs and had Johnson stating in between songs, “We’re so fucking pumped to be here.” It was certainly refreshing to get a little dose of some fun filled, throwback to my teenage years tunes.

The middle slot featured Phoenix, Ariz.’s Andrew Jackson Jihad. Having no previous knowledge of what this band was about, it was assumed that a group of hardcore political punks with plenty of swagger and stern messages would grace the stage. However, a slightly different cast of characters appeared. Two men came out from backstage individually carrying

Hydroponics • Grow Lights Grow Huts • Organic Potting Soils Herb & Vegetable Starts and more!

Against Me

Punk Rules the night an upright bass and an acoustic guitar. An enthusiastic crowd cheered on before the duo played their first note. Guitarist and vocalist Sean Bonnette expressed much gratitude for being a part of the show and quickly began a set filled with punk-y/folk-y songs like “The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving,” which included silly lyrics, “The Michael Jordan of drunk driving played his final game tonight / Burdened by his loneliness he wanted to feel alive / His laziness built the pyramids / And his solitude was a knife / The Michael Jordan of drunk driving played his final game tonight.” Other songs played were essentially mocking taking yourself too seriously with lyrics like, “Growing up fucking sucks / Got too much stuff / I’m afraid the older you get the more you forget things.” A sarcastic version of Simon and Garfunkel’s “Mrs. Robinson” featured the altered lyrics “Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson / No one will care if you live or die.” Although Andrew Jackson Jihad was amusing, its shtick got old quickly.

After a brief set change, Against Me! stormed the stage in unison and quickly filled the room with anthem driven punk rock tunes. “White

R E U R O Y AD HE 3 0 8 3

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

- ag.com 1 4 4 16) ergem

(9fo@subm in

28

Crosses,” which featured Laura Jane Grace’s commanding vocal hooks shouted in the chorus: “White crosses on the church lawn / I want to smash them all / I want to smash them all,” was accompanied by catchy lead guitar melodies and steady drumming by Jay Weinberg (son of legendary Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band drummer, Max). The group creatively transitioned into the popular 2011 hit “I Was a Teenage Anarchist,” which featured the infectious chorus hook “Do you remember when you were young and you wanted to set the world on fire?” Guitarist James Bowman and bassist Andrew Seward added nice touches with spot-on vocal harmonies and precise playing.

Many in the crowd were dancing or moshing with their fists in the air singing along and fully appreciating the moment. “New Wave” conveyed a sense of optimism and hope providing head bobbing rhythms and Grace’s lyrics, “Come on and wash these shores away / I am looking for the crest / I am looking for the crest of a new wave,” had current believers enthralled and newcomers buying in.

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

The grindhouse

To the Letter The Words

Rated PG-13

Words James Barone Writing can be a selfish practice. Writing about writing is probably even more so. In The Words, actor-turned-writer/director Brian Klugman and co-writer/director Lee Sternthal, both in their debuts as feature filmmakers, delve deep into what makes a writer tick.

It’s a story within a story within a story—sort of the nesting doll equivalent of storytelling. But unlike those placid-faced novelties, The Words bears a much more troubled countenance.

The film opens with writer Clay Hammond (Dennis Quaid) reading from his latest novel, which bears the same name as the movie, in front of a packed auditorium. This could be wishful thinking on the parts of Klugman and Sternthal, perhaps imagining that The Words would be similarly well received by real life audiences. Hammond’s story introduces us to Rory and Dora Jansen (Bradley Cooper and Zoe Saldana, respectively). Rory is a writer, too, and he’s on his way to pick up an award for his first novel, The Window Tears. However, as he and his wife pile into a limo on their way to the reception, there’s an old man (Jeremy Irons) lurking in the rain.

The Window Tears is a critical and commercial smash hit. The big break Rory, a struggling yet not-quite-starving artist, has always dreamed of. Unfortunately, he has a secret. While on vacation in Paris, Rory and Dora find a brief case in an antique store. Once they’re home, Rory discovers that it contains a tattered, old manuscript of a long-lost novel by an anonymous writer that was never published. Rory ends up getting the book published as his own, and the old man, whose name we never learn, reveals himself to Rory as The Window Tears’ author.

Meanwhile in Hammond's world, he encounters a beautiful graduate student, Daniella (Olivia Wilde), during an intermission SubmergeMag.com

between chapters. He’s as taken with her as she is with his writing, but there’s something undeniably mysterious about her and her connection to what’s going on.

Back in the world of Hammond's novel, the old man recounts to Rory the story behind The Window Tears, which is the kind of sprawling, tragic romance that novels are literally made of, and we are introduced to another set of characters, the old man as a young man (Ben Barnes) and his wife Celia (Nora Arnezeder).

To Klugman’s and Sternthal’s credits, the three layers of the story are clearly defined. The Words never falls into chaos, but the connection between the three couples isn’t drawn in an obvious way. In each case, we have a writer at different stages: the young man, just discovering his talents; Rory at the beginning of his career; and Hammond, middle-aged, confident and established.

Irons as the old man, looking worn and grizzled, perhaps serves as the specter of death both in terms of being toward the end of his life, and also in literary terms since after he penned the novel Rory eventually stole, the old man never wrote again.

Though the male characters could be seen as archetypal forms, the female roles feel shallow. Saldana and Arnezeder are strong, painting endearing and sympathetic portraits of supportive wives, but they really don’t have much to work with.

Wilde’s Daniella is presented as the most interesting. She’s guileful and captivating, shown off beautifully in expressive and intimate close-ups. But in the end, Daniella comes off written in as little more than a plot device.

Unlike nesting dolls, the storylines contained within The Words don’t fit together very neatly. As Hammonds tells Daniella, the worlds of reality and fiction may get very close to one another, but they never touch. And so, the frayed threads of these three stories are never tied together in a neat bow.

However, The Words is still a literate, neatly executed and at times thought-provoking romance worthy of over-intellectualized discussion over coffee after it’s ended.

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

29

the shallow end Sometime last week, I was sitting at a diner when my iPhone, which is never too far out of my sight, glowed warmly with a notification.

I picked it up, as I do every time it glows, hopeful of whatever joy it may bring, to see a notification from the New York Times, in all sincerity, one of the last bastions of journalism on planet Earth. The venerable newspaper wanted to let me know that Mitt Romney had accepted the Republican presidential nomination. More recently, my phone also let me know that President Barack Obama accepted the Democratic presidential nomination. My response to both “breaking news items” was, “No shit.”

I understand why both parties throw these elaborate conventions every four years. They want to energize their respective bases and get their supporters whipped up into enough of a frenzy that they’ll mob the polls on Election Day, like the zombies raiding the farm house in the most recent season of The Walking Dead (it was fucking awesome).

So I get that much. It’s not exactly news, though, is it? We all knew who was going to be involved in the showdown for president months ago. Now, it totally would’ve been

Dog and Pony Shows James Barone jb@submergemag.com

news if Romney had stepped up to the podium, flashed his best politician smile and told the electrified crowd in Tampa, Fla., that he appreciated all the fuss everyone had made for him, renting out this big arena and such, but after talking it over with Ann, decided that this running for president thing just wasn’t for him.

Or, if Obama capped off his emotional speech to his faithful in Charlotte, N.C., with, “Hey, it’s been awesome being your president for the past four years, but Michelle, the girls and I are just going to split the country and hang in Cancun for a while.” I mean, with all the indignities he’s had to endure during his term of office, who would blame him? I’d do just about anything if it meant I’d never have to put up with Mitch McConnell again.

This is the reason I don’t watch the conventions. I know how it’s going to end; we all do. “Here I am, America. Vote for me!

Cue confetti.” I did catch a couple of the speeches on YouTube, though. Michelle Obama did a nice job at making me really jealous of the president and making me emo that no woman would probably ever speak of me so highly. I felt a twinge of nostalgia watching Bill Clinton give his speech. It brought me back

to my high school and early college days when I was just getting interested in America’s political machinations. I loved Clinton then, because he had such a swagger and seemed to play up his Arkansas drawl to catch people off-guard with his intelligence. I actually voted for H. Ross Perot in the 1996 election, though. (Remember him? Is he still alive?) You know, as a goof. I even nodded a reluctant touché to Paul Ryan’s faded Obama poster line. Hey, you know, it was a decent hook.

Other than that, though, it’s pretty much all scripted theater. No one deviates from the program. There’s no room for improv, Clint Eastwood notwithstanding.

I have nothing but admiration for Eastwood’s acting/directing resume. He’s one of the greatest American filmmakers of my lifetime. I get choked up just thinking about the ending of Million Dollar Baby (it totally just happened as I typed that).

I’m not sure whose idea it was for him to have an imaginary dialogue with a piece of furniture. I can’t imagine the Mitt-ster was all, yeah, dude, go for it. That’s gonna get me hella votes. You’d expect more from a man of Eastwood’s pedigree; or at least, you would have expected more from the organizers of such a meticulously planned event. You figured someone would have stepped

forward and said, “Wait! Stop! This is fucking crazy!” But between you and me, I’m kind of glad they didn’t. Just moments after it happened, an industrious pop culture nerd started tweeting as @InvisibleObama. Within hours, the account had thousands of followers, and for at least a few hours captured my attention—a true feat in this day and age. On Aug. 30, @InvisibleObama tweeted, “I’m behind Mitt! No seriously. I’m right behind him.” Good stuff.

As jaded as I am about the conventions, though, I guess they do serve a purpose—or at the very least, they give me enough material to fill a roughly 900-word space. As I write this, it’s almost exactly two months away from Election Day, and my Facebook feed is all aflame with political punditry from the right, left and otherwise.

It’s neat to see Americans actually care about how they’re governed. Whether or not that will translate to people going to the polls is another story. Whether or not some of them are even allowed to go to the polls is probably for another column. Part of me yearns for the days when this election is behind us, and we can all get back to our usual business. But until then, I might as well just stop complaining and enjoy the show.

Let us take you home tonight.

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30

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

Submerge – Season Pass Ad Aug 18.indd 1

8/17/12 8:54 AM

Dive Into Sacramento & Its Surrounding Areas

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oct 19 tuesday

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TickeTs available aT: TickeTfly.com and The beaT (17Th & J sT.), • TickeTs for Harlow’s sHows also available aT Harlows.com

Issue 119 • September 10 – September 24, 2012

31

Dive into Sacramento & its Surrounding Areas

September 10 – 24, 2012

#119

The Souterrain & West Nile Ramblers Tour

the Emerald Isle

SACRAMENTO

Burger

battle killer mike

Destruction of the Corporate Rapper

+Bat Guano Fest

Trust Us, It Will Rock

Against Me!

Ride the Wave at Ace of Spades Show Off your farmer’s tan at Shakers Pub

There Can Be Only One

solos

Spencer Seim & aAron Ross Travel Down the Rabbit Hole

mike e. winfield

local Comedian Goes Viral

free