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Fascinating history National Jewish Book Award winner is compelling biography of Hadassah founder Henrietta Szold. PAGE 12
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Clean Speech targets power of hurtful words BY BILL MOTCHAN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
LEFT: The Browns, Levines, Schechters, Pitlers pose at Cache River.
FAMILY TIES RIGHT: Visiting Amish Country in 1999
PHOTO COURTESY OF MARILYN BROWN
St. Louis ‘mishpacha’ group has been connecting participants for 40 years BY BILL MOTCHAN SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH LIGHT
In December, a St. Louis mishpacha (family) group created by the Jewish Community Center celebrated its 40-year anniversary. The 15-family group includes two original members. Through four decades, they’ve celebrated simchas and mourned losses together. The group has been meeting virtually because of COVID, but they’re planning in-person gatherings this year that will include travel, games and, of course, food. The group’s members offered a glimpse into what makes their bond special. What follows is an oral history of the group from its members.
The origins of the mishpacha group Ken Schwartz (former member of the J Family and Group Services Department): We had the idea of forming mishpacha groups that were similar to the congregation’s chavurot groups. We put an article in the “J. Journal” and said we were looking for people who were out-of-towners. Sharon Weissman: A lot of us had no other family here.
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Hence the name “mishpacha,” so we adopted the practice of meeting for several holidays every year. Usually there was a Hanukkah party, almost always a seder, and a break fast, and one year we did a Tu B’shvat seder. Marilyn Brown: Marilen Pitler and Carla and Jerry Rosen are the only two original members still here. I was the next one to join. Carla Rosen: I know exactly how old the group is. This little young man (pointing to her grandson) — his father, Mike Rosen, was born in August 1981, and the group first met on Hanukkah that year. I happen to remember because he was my baby. So that was a memorable occasion. Marilen Pitler: When we first formed, I said there’s only one way for us to become cohesive and that’s for us to think of each other as cousins. We’re all related. It’s like the old-fashioned family club dinners. We started inviting everyone to the brises, the b’nai mitzvot, weddings — we were there to celebrate those occasions. And when the kids all grew up, one of the members said, “Now what?” and I said, “Well, we’ll switch to adult activities.” See MISHPACHA GROUP on page 7
The Jewish value of Shmirat Halashon has ancient origins, but it’s never been more relatable than in the age of social media. It means “guarding one’s tongue” and essentially is a reminder that words matter. Whether it’s gossip, a snarky comment posted to someone’s Instagram or taking a stranger to task for not wearing a face mask indoors, the things we say have an impact. Thirty-eight local Jewish organizations are working to create kinder and less hurtful communications. The effort is called Clean Speech St. Louis. It will begin March 1 and provide online tools to educate, inform and raise awareness about the power of words, gossip and slander. Participants will get a short online video lesson and action item from a local community leader about mindful speech. The goal is to encourage people to choose their words wisely. Ideally, this will lead to avoiding gossip, minimizing arguments with loved ones and curbing rude comments on social media. Clean Speech is not about dirty or foul language, said Rabbi Yosef David, executive director of Aish St. Louis, one of the partnering organizations. “It’s about harmful and hurtful language,” David said. “We live in a world today where, unfortunately, words are so divisive and so harmful.” The Clean Speech initiative was started in 2019 by Rabbi Raphael Leban, managing director of The Jewish Experience in Colorado, after he witnessed families and communities torn apart by angry words. The Colorado Clean Speech program made a positive impact, according to a survey by the organization gauging its effectiveness. It showed 72% of participants said the campaign changed the way they speak. When the St. Louis campaign concludes, organizers plan to get feedback from participants. Rabbi David offered an example of how Clean Speech St. Louis tools can help in an everyday situation, such as a coworker whose workspace is disorganized and whose politics run afoul of colleagues. See CLEAN SPEECH on page 10
Rabbi Yosef David (left) and Rabbi Raphael Leban
2/15/22 6:12 PM
