Freya's Wedding - Roel Traa

Roel Traa

Freya’s Wedding

Freya’s Wedding Roel Traa

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© Roel Traa

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hor, which, as you all know, is the god of thunder, the strongest and mightiest god in Asgard, awoke one day with the feeling that something was wrong.

He reached out a hand for his hammer, which he always kept within reach while he slept, but no hammer was to be found.

There was no hammer anywhere. It was gone. The hammer kept the gods safe from all the dangers that threatened them. Frost giants and ogres, which were their worst enemies, were frightened of it. Thor loved his hammer. But it simply was not there.

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The first thing he did when something went wrong was ask himself if what had happened was Loki’s fault. But he did not believe that even Loki would have dared to steal his hammer. So he did the next thing he did when something went wrong, and went to ask Loki for advice.

Loki, by the way, was a very handsome god. He is plausible, persuasive, and by far the most cunning and treacherous god in Asgard.

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oki was crafty and knew what to do. He went to Freya’s hall.

Freya was the most beautiful and the queen of all gods. Loki asked her for her feathered cloak, the one that lets one fly.

Freya said “Absolutely not. My cloak is more valuable than gold and I am not having you wearing it going around and making mischief.”

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ut Loki said “Thor’s hammer has been stolen”, and Freya quickly replied “I’ll get you

the cloak.”

Loki put on the feathered cloak and he took to the air, in falcon shape. He flew deep into the land of the giants, looking for something unusual.

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eneath him, Loki saw a huge grave hill, and sitting on it, was the hugest ogre of a giant he had ever seen.

When the ogre saw Loki, he grinned a sharp-toothed grin and waved.

The ogre asked: “Why brings Loki to the land of the giants?”

And Loki said: “Thor’s hammer is missing. Would you know anything about that?”

Trying hard to cover his satisfaction, the ogre chuckled and said: “I have Thor’s hammer. I’ve hidden it so deep beneath the earth that nobody could ever find it, not even Odin. I am the only one who could bring it up again but this will have a price. In exchange for the hammer I want to marry Freya. Bring her in eight days from now, and the hammer of the gods will be given back on the wedding day.

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Loki took the ogre’s request and went back to Asgard.

Thor and Loki went to Freya’s hall, and she asked them“Did you find out who stole Thor’s hammer?”

Loki answered: “The lord of the giants.”

And Freya said “I’ve heard of him.

A nasty piece of work. What does he want for it?”

Loki then said “You. He wants to marry you.”

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pon hearing this, Freya said absolutely nothing.

The ground and the walls began to shake and Freya’s hands were squeezed into tight fists. She was outraged and wouldn’t marry an ogre to save the gods from trouble.

She wanted them out immediately.

If Freya didn’t want to marry the ogre, they would be doomed.

But Loki, the cunning Loki, were to come with a brilliant idea, by which Thor wouldn’t be very pleased.

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oki approached Thor and said: “Well. I think we have no choice other than dressing you as a bride. Thor said “What? Absolutely not. People will think... well, for a start they’ll think I dress up in women’s clothes. And I’ve got a beard. I can’t shave off my beard. It’s a terrible, terrible idea!

No one like this idea, do they?”

But all gods loved the idea, including Odin the all-highest: With a wedding veil, they would hide Thor’s face, and the ogre would think he is marrying Freya.

It was brilliant.

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And so the goddesses brought him things to wear. They dressed him in the finest clothes and they covered his face with a veil, so that only his eyes could be seen. Â Loki too shifted his shape and turned himself, in voice and in appearance, into a beautiful young serving woman.

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isguised as such, Thor and Loki clambered into Thor’s chariot and took to the skies.

Thor had a bad feeling about it, and Loki said: “Just don’t say anything.

Leave all the talking to me.”

As they arrived, the ogre sat at the table.

Loki sat down next to him, and Thor at the next seat on the bench. The ogre clapped his hands and giant serving men came in, carrying plenty of food and huge casks of mead.

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Thor ate a whole ox, all by himself.

He ate seven entire salmon, leaving nothing but bones. The pastries vanished, to the sound of munching, under the veil.

The ogre was impressed: “Amazing. I’ve never seen any woman eat so much, or drink so much mead.”

And Loki said “There is an obvious explanation. She hasn’t eaten for eight days and eight nights. She was so keen to come to the land of the giants and make love to her new husband.”

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should kiss her, said the ogre. He was already leaning over and making kissing noises.

With one huge hand, he reached for Thor’s veil. But suddenly he stopped and sprung back, shaken.

“Why are Freya’s eyes so… so terrifying? It seemed there was fire burning inside of them.”

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oki, again, soothed his worries: “She hasn’t slept for eight days and eight nights. She was so consumed by love for her future husband that she dared not sleep, so mad she was to taste his love. What you saw in her eyes was burning passion.”

The ogre was desperate to start the wedding and ordered his servants to bring the hammer. It took four giants to carry Thor’s hammer. They brought it in from deep inside the hall. With difficulty, they placed it on Thor’s lap.

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he ogre then said: “Now, let me hear your beautiful voice, my love, my dove, my sweetness. Tell me that you love me. Tell me that you will be my bride.”

And Thor’s answer came in a voice like thunder: “What I say is that you should not have taken my hammer.”

He hit the ogre with its hammer, only once, but once was all it took. The ogre fell to the floor, and did not rise again.

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ll the giants fell beneath Thor’s hammer. The guests of the wedding that was never to be.

When the hall was silent, Loki climbed out from under the table, in his original shape.

Thor was already taking off his women’s attire, with relief, when he said: “That wasn’t as bad as I had feared. I’ve got my hammer back.

And I had a good dinner. Let’s go home.

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Epilogue

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hank you for reading my book. I made this book because I want to encourage people like myself to dress the way they want to dress. If you are a very manly man, wearing a dress shouldn’t be making you less manly.

From the regency fops with their painted on beauty marks and satin high heels, to the neon brush strokes and latex loving Bowie, men in makeup and “unmasculine” attire has been stitched and powdered through history. I myself have a very balanced masculine/feminine appearance. I didn’t always have the courage to look this way. However this has made me so much more confident with who I am. I want people to have the same confidence.

We shouldn’t feel scared to look the way we want to look.

If you feel this way, I hope you feel encouraged to start expressing yourself more. This book is for you.

I want to celebrate you, and you should celebrate yourself too. Be yourself. And for those who don’t share this feeling, I hope you will think twice before making a rude comment to someone who doesn’t look the way you expect people to look.

Kindness is free after all.

© Roel Traa

Š Roel Traa 2020 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.