Sophie Woman's Magazine- May 2016 Issue

VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 3 / MAY 2016

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~

What we need the most | Page 10

Sophisticated Women ~ How will you respond to the choices you make? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ How vulnerability gives you respect | Page 14

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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Heart from the

E

veryday things are changing. Faster than I have ever seen before. You may disagree with me because I do not think they are changing for the better. I realize every generation might think the same thing but one thing I know FOR SURE, is that my parents generation realized they lived in the land of opportunity. The land of the “American Dream”. You don’t have to look very hard to find people who no longer believe that.

My parents generation lived with parents of the Great Depression.

According to History.com “the Great Depression (1929-39) was the deepest and longest-lasting economic downturn in the history of the Western industrialized world. In the United States, the Great Depression began soon after the stock market crash of October 1929. By 1933, when the Great Depression reached its nadir, some 13 to 15 million Americans were unemployed and nearly half of the country’s banks had failed. Though the relief and reform measures put into place by President Franklin D. Roosevelt helped lessen the worst effects of the Great Depression in the 1930s, the economy would not fully turn around until after 1939, when World War II kicked American industry into high gear”.

Did you catch that....Not until World War II kicked it into high gear.

My parents grew up during the Great Depression and they were the ones faced with World War II. Some say it was “The Greatest Generation”. I whole heartily agree. “The Greatest Generation” is a term made popular by journalist Tom Brokaw to describe the generation who grew up in the United States during the deprivation of the Great Depression, and then went on to fight in World War II, as well as those whose productivity within the war’s home front made a decisive material contribution to the war effort, for which the generation is also termed the G.I. Generation.

(Wikipedia) Where am I going with all this? History teaches us a lot....if we are willing to learn from it. Memorial Day is May 30th. What will we do to

From The Editor: Judy Smith

honor that? To most, it is just another three day weekend or to some the start of Summer. To others maybe a day off. What do our children know about it or more importantly what do we know about it? It saddens me so much that it is looked upon as “just another long weekend”. In case you don’t know I want you to understand what it is for.

• •

•

Memorial Day is a United States federal holiday celebrated on the last Monday of May commemorating men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces.

Memorial Day Initially (officially since 1868 - proclaimed by General John Logan) Memorial Day was a holiday in memory of the soldiers who died in the Civil War. The feast was supposed to be a step towards national reconciliation. The original name (Decoration Day) comes from placing flowers on the graves of the soldiers.

Memorial Day was celebrated differently in different states. Until 1890 it was celebrated in all the states of the North. After World War I the nature of the holiday changed to honor the memory of all Americans who died in any war - not only Civil.

Several friends of mine were killed in The Vietnam War. Their names are on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, DC. It honors U.S. service members who fought in the Vietnam War, service members who died in service in Vietnam/South East Asia, and those service members who were unaccounted for (Missing In Action) during the War. The United States of America has a lot of history. Are we passing that history on? I think not. We have become an entitlement nation....it’s all about me! It is time to honor all who serve....not just the military but our police, fire, EMTs and all who strive to give us freedom and keep us safe.

Especially those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

Times change, our nation changes.... but some things should never be forgotten. I WILL NEVER FORGET.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124.

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A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly.

The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.

Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************

pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

Message from the Heart

3

Reaching Your Full Potential

6

Sophisticated Women

8

Girlfriends in God

10

The Front Porch

12

Me, Myself, & Inc.

14

Not all Fragrances are Costly

16

Recipe for Life

18

The Cross & The Sister Tree

20

Scared of Florals?

22

He Said, She Said

24

Day In & Day Out

26

For the Love of a Grandmother

28

A Great Need

30

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: The New You!

That simple interaction left me thinking about many things, not the least of which is how much I HAVE CHANGED! A fact for which I am increasingly grateful.

Then I stumbled upon the quote noted above by Leon Brown and realized just how true it really is. “The negativity or positivity you bring into the moment decides the direction your life goes next.”

Looking back and without need for going into the details, I want to share with you a few simple steps that brought me out of a world filled with negativity, skepticism and selfhatred into a life filled with hope, optimism and joy.

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

“The negativity or positivity you bring into the moment decides the direction your life goes next.”

positive because that is exactly what I need today.”

~Leon Brown

My inner antenna has been tuned in recently to the contrast between negativity and positivity. Try it for a few days … become aware of the atmosphere, conversations, attitudes and activities around you.

I was a physical therapist long before I was a Life Coach.

In fact, I learned many of my people-development skills by guiding patients out of difficult health challenges. Over the years of working more as a Life Coach, I have fulfilled some physical therapy contracts along the way in order to maintain those skills and my license.

The other day, I was at one of those assignments. I was working with a young woman who had a stroke when one of my co-workers walked by. My co-worker stopped and proudly exclaimed to the lady that she was going to love me. She went on to say boldly, “Kim is the most positive person I have ever known.”

I was actually stunned into complete and humble silence.

Her words about me shocked me to my core. Let me explain why…

Back a couple of decades, into my twenties and my thirties, I battled negativity mentally. I had come under the weight of some false accusations and had a poor assessment of myself, so I fell deep into negativity. In fact, if a coworker had walked through the room back then, she would certainly NOT have described me as positive. She might have described me as aloof, cold, matter-of-fact … but NOT positive!

My patient the other day became tearful at my co-workers remarks and she quickly said, “I am SO GLAD you are pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

For years, I fed negativity with more negativity. One really terrible habit that developed mentally was that I would rehearse other people’s low estimations of me like a broken record in my mind. So, let’s begin there. Think back to yesterday or maybe over the past week. What do you think about? Would others describe you as negative or positive in the way you view the world and verbalize your current situations?

Now, here is what I learned. You cannot simply SHUT OFF negative thinking. It has to be replaced with RIGHT THINKING! So, you are going to need to become intentional about what you allow into your heart and mind. Start by listening to a message by a favorite motivator.

Next, take time to review the best of who you were created to be. Herein exists one of the greatest truths that has come into my life with the power to CHANGE EVERYTHING. My identity!

The Bible is the original source that exclaims that the truth holds the power to set you FREE.

I have come to see who I REALLY AM! I am a daughter of the God who created me. I belong to HIM and I WILL accomplish all He created me to do. And guess what? I am the only ONE with the power to fulfill or to sabotage His great plan for my life.

Take a few moments to ask yourself what you would most want a co-worker or a friend to say about you today. Now, begin to craft a simple strategy that will move you in that direction little by little every day.

I did just that. As a result of knowing WHO I AM and beginning to change the voices I give value to, I finally awoke one day to find a person I could barely recognize. I know the same will happen to you!

Kim Fletcher learned a few years ago that a “FLETCHER” is an arrow maker. This is fitting as she launches clients toward their true vision. As a coach and leader of global impact, Kim seeks to make a difference as she shares principles of true and lasting transformation to individuals and groups internationally. Contact her directly for a FREE coaching or speaking proposal at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

S

ophisticated

Women...

Are Aware, Alert, & Accountable

Y

ou’ve been given the gift of choice! Each and every day you wake up to a world chocked full of opportunities. Our abundant world offers an amazing array of different choices that require serious decision making skills. Think about it. At every meal, odds are there are many foods you can eat. At work, in our neighborhoods, and as you navigate social media there are friends we can ‘Like.” You have a closet full of clothes you can wear. The internet, your local communicty college, and businesses offer you the chance to learn all sorts of things.

The is issue is how do you decide was to do and what not to do.

The word decision literally means to cut off. In fact, it has the same root as the word, incision. The word choice literally means to take on.

Discerning what to rid your life of and what to fill your life with is an essential skill called discernment. Sophisticated women are aware, alert and accountable for their decisions.

As soon as the alarm goes off, your first choice is to rise and S.H.I.N.E. or push the snooze button. The choice you make will shape you, your day, and your life. Turning off the alarm, stretching your body, and rising from your bed with a statement of gratitude sets the tone to have a vibrant day. Alternatively, pushing the snooze button, pulling the covers over your head, and telling yourself you don’t want to get up sets the tone to have a dispirited day.

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

There are two states of mind from which our decision making emanates. There is an aware state of mind. There is an unaware state of mind. There are also two points of control from which you make a decision. One is making the choice on your own. The other is allowing someone else to make your decision for you.

Think about the decision to eat or not to eat a particular food.

Surely, this decisioin affects you each and every day. Imagine you are going to lunch with friends. Start at the bottom right quadrant labeled “socialization.” When it is time to order, will you join your friends who are going to splurge? Your thought might be, “Why not? You only live once.” Totally unaware, you derail from your healthy eating intentions and allow those around you influence decision. You’ve been socialized.

This means you’ve allowed others to influence your decision. When lunch is over and you are back at your desk feeling full and bloated, you’ll escalate up into the upper right quadrant where you’ll find your self-aware of your bad decision to splurge albeit you’ll be blaming others for your decision. When you find yourself blaming others for your bad decisions, it’s time to move into a state of accountablity. In the upper left hand quadrant is the sweet spot of the decision matrix. There you are aware of your decision and you are in control of your destiny. At every meal, you can decide how you will feed and fuel your body. It’s am empowering thought that just might push you to take on a habit that would support your intention of eating healthy. When you put a positive habit in place, you start to automatically do it. Now you are in the bottom left quadrant of the decision matrix. Here you are unaware of your decision because essentially the decision has been hardwired into your brain. When you eat, you eat healthy. That is just the way you live!

TheThe Decision Matrix: Make Up Your Mind powerful questions are: “Why do you make the choice you make? andYou've been given the gift of choice. You are How will you respond?”

empowered to decide in the vast majority of the Consider The Decision Matrix. situations life presents. The powerful question is:

How Will You Respond?

Aware

Accountability

Unaware

Decision by Self

Automatic

LISTEN

Decision by Others Blame

Socialization

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

I must warn you.

The bottom left corner can either serve you or slay you. Automatic decision making is a habit. Again… habits either serve you or slay you.

You must start in the upper left quadrant which is accountability. There you decide what kind of life you want. There you take into account the life you want to have. You stay aware that you must make an effort to automatically do the things you say you want to do….until… you do them automatically. My mentor and dear friend Ann Starrette shared this poem of sorts with me years ago. I offer it to you.

See HABIT attachment! (next page)

www.VibrantCoaching.com

I I

HABIT

am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at yourcommand. Half the things you do you might as well turn them over to me, and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. am easily managed—you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great men; and alas, of all failures, as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I

am not a machine, though, I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for a profit or run me for ruin—it makes no difference to me.

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Anonymous

Make a copy and place it on your desk to help you become aware of the decisions YOU make.

Be aware.

Be alert.

Be accountable.

Be a Sophisticated Woman… a Sophie Woman.

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

4/18/16 1:24:44 PM

What We Need The Most

by Gwen Smith

God is love. (1 John 4:8b, NIV)

Friend to Friend

My mom tells a story that when I was a toddler, I used to push my older brother and sister off my dad’s lap so I could cuddle with him all by myself. I still do this with my kids and husband. It might look different today, but my goal is the same: I want more love. And I’m not above pushing someone else out of the way to move myself forward.

My love hunger stumps me. I’ve been a Christian since I sat on a little plastic Sunday-school chair and learned Bible stories from a flannelgraph board. If I’m so into Jesus—and I promise you, I am—then why am I still needy?

Why is my heart such a love vacuum?

I long to be known, adored, and fully accepted.

I may not verbalize it often, but this desire plays on repeat in my internal dialogue.

Anybody else?

The fact of the matter is, I want more love than any human could ever give me. I often look to my husband, children, and friends to fill this ache that churns within me. When will I learn that my people can never fully satiate my longing for more?

I’m so thankful that the Bible reminds me of this intensely personal truth: God is my heavenly Father—my Abba—who loves me in the way I’ve always wanted to be loved.

Perfectly. All-sufficiently.

I do want the love of my people. And that’s okay. But I can’t expect imperfect human beings and relationships to satisfy my heart cravings.

Only God can satisfy.

Only God. The apostle Paul wrote the book of Ephesians to strengthen and encourage the believers in Ephesus. He wanted the people to “get” the magnitude of God’s love and prayed that the Lord would help them experience the reality of it. This is a portion of what Paul wrote: I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph. 3:17–19) Paul associated the love of God with power. It’s almost as if he was saying, “If you can get this ... if you can wrap your head and heart around the truth of just how much God loves you, it will blow you away with blessing. Your faith will pack a punch, and you’ll never be the same.”

Man! I sure like the sound of that, don’t you? Don’t you want to be “rooted and established” in God’s love? Don’t you want your awareness of His love to fill you “to the measure of all the fullness of God”?

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

Sign me up! I need it. I want it. I want it all.

Check this out. The New Testament part of Scripture was written primarily in Greek. The transliteration of the Greek word for rooted that’s used in this passage is rhizoō, which means “to cause to strike root, to strengthen with roots, to render firm, to fix, establish, cause a person or a thing to be thoroughly grounded.” Figuratively it means to “become stable.” So my personal summary is this: God’s love should stabilize my faith. My acceptance of His love for me will strengthen and “fix” me.

Mind. Blown.

God’s love is that thing I need the most. I want that strength. I want that stability. I want every blessing of His love in my life. His Word tells us the love-well of Jesus is wide, long, high, and deep. So today, I’ve decided to stop expecting others to meet my love needs and am instead asking God to help me be rooted and established in the fullness of His all-satisfying love. Join me?

Let’s Pray

Lord, Please help me to be rooted and established in Your love. Would you stabilize my faith and allow me to grasp the power of Your love for me? In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Read Psalm 27:1-14. Note some of the ways that God shows His love for us. Spend a few moments thanking God for these things.

More from the Girlfriends Today’s devotion is an excerpt from the new book by Gwen Smith, I Want It ALL. Order yours today from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, ChristianBook.com or your favorite retailer. Connect with Gwen on Facebook| Twitter| Instagram| Pinterest

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Front The

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Have mosquitoes gotten bigger and more blood thirsty? I don't know what is going on at my house but they are even starting to hold the door open for me when I get home. Seriously, I can't hardly get in the door without one or two slipping in.... And they are HUGE! Honestly they are MEGA MOSQUITOES! On top of that, they are multiplying as I watch. When I go to slap at one they slap me back. Scientists state that dragonflies the size of modern birds ruled 300 million years ago. Now it is mosquitoes.

There are a lot of creatures that I have to wonder why God created them. Spiders being one and mosquitoes being another.

Do they do anything good? Since I was pondering these thoughts I decided to see if I could find out what their purpose in life was other than to torment me. Here are some of things I found out.

Mosquitoes are small, midge-like flies which comprise the family Culicidae. Females of most species are ectoparasites, whose tube-like mouth-parts pierce the hosts' skin to consume blood. The word "mosquito" is Spanish for "little fly". (Wikipedia) This is important to know. Why? Well, if you are doing a science project you would want to know this....wouldn't you? If you are bitten by one, you will now know it was a female.

They need our blood for their own nourishment but also as a source of protein for their eggs. I just watched a movie about that. The only difference was the movie was about aliens sucking our blood to feed their young. In that movie, they spared no expense and all the experts in the world came together to put a stop to it. Where are all those people now? The well renowned Entomologist Phi Kaufman,. said the super-sized species is, “notoriously aggressive” and the best way to protect yourself against them is to carry a machine gun or an Israeli Uzi or perhaps a few hand grenades.

In case you are wondering what an Entomologist is.... an entomologist is a scientist who studies insects. Entomologists have many important jobs, such as the study of the classification, life cycle, distribution, physiology, behavior, ecology and population dynamics of insects. My question....Why can't they just study how to get rid of them?

Back to the question of what good are they. The only silver lining to that cloud of mosquitoes in your garden is that they are a reliable source of food for thousands of animals, including birds, bats, dragonflies, and frogs. In addition, humans are actually not the first choice for most mosquitoes looking for a meal. They usually prefer horses, cattle, and birds.

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

by Judy Smith

I love my birds and I enjoy hearing the croaking of frogs.

However, I told my husband he had to get the yard sprayed or else I was going to invest in a large amount of frogs this summer.

Guess what? The yard got sprayed.

Now I am just wondering....does any of this make you feel any better about those pesky varmits? Here is one more bit of hope....

Many, if not all, blood-sucking species of mosquitoes are fairly selective feeders that specialize in particular host species, though they often relax their selectivity when they experience severe competition for food, defensive activity on the part of the hosts, or starvation.(Wikipedia) So get ready you mega, blood sucking varmits, cause this host is fighting back.

Even though I want to know why God created them, I am sure it will not be at the top of my list of questions I will have for Him. The first one will be why He died for a worm such as I?

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

How vulnerability gives you respect “Mommy, you’re grounded!” exclaimed my seven-year-old daughter, arms crossed in a disapproving stance as she looked at shoes strewn across my bedroom floor left wherever they were slipped off and a pile of clothes on my corner reading chair. I looked at her with an annoyed, yet humored glance at her bravado as she stated, “Get this room cleaned up or there will be no TV or computer for you!” In a brief effort to defend myself, I asked, “Is your room clean little missy?” She replied with pride, “Yes, go see for yourself!” I knew I didn’t have to go look. She was practicing what she preached. And now it was my turn to do the same. I quickly put my shoes and clothes away, straightened my bed, as my daughter watched intently. How could my daughter have such power at such a young age? Because I made a deal with all three of my daughters. The deal was that I wouldn’t ask them to do anything I wasn’t expected to do myself. Ten years later, we still laugh and reminisce about that moment in time. It was a pivotal moment that earned me respect, a precious moment I cherish shared with my daughter.

Too often, pride or our position of authority makes us believe we must be all-knowing, always right, and always perfect.

Demonstrating what may seem like signs of weakness is considered taboo. Being vulnerable is not being weak. Being vulnerable can actually show strength of character. We are human, not machines.

Here are some ways being vulnerable has made me more human, and perhaps can help you see its power in earning respect.

•

•

Being Accountable: The example of my daughter grounding me was allowing myself to be vulnerable in being held accountable. Too often parents, bosses, and people in authority live or work by the standard, “Do as I say, not as I do.” Being accountable in what you say also means being accountable based on what you do. The respect earned when you actually practice what you preach is immeasurable.

Being Open: Being open to an experience can put you in a vulnerable place. I was contracted to be a keynote for a

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

regional conference for a dietetics association, when the confirming call came in from the event chair excited to announce she had found a sponsor for my keynote fee. The sponsor was the U.S. Beef Council. I paused as I said thank you for the news. When I hung up the phone, I proclaimed to my office manager, “Guess what’s for dinner?” You see, I had not eaten beef in 35 years, at the time, since I was 15 years old. Yet, here I was in a predicament. I could not consciously accept sponsorship, unless I gave beef a try after all these years, and more important, could actually support eating beef.

Much to my pleasure, I thoroughly enjoyed the filet mignon as I dined with my friend in this pivotal discovery moment. I later learned that the reason I disliked beef was because in the farm area I grew up, the good cuts of beef went to the market and we got the rejected cuts for our dinner table. I thought beef was nothing but gristle. I shared my story with the Beef Council and they were delighted by my revelation in being a reborn beef eater. They proclaimed I was the type of person they were hoping to reach by sponsoring the event.

•

Being Supported: Asking for help is not easy for some people. Whether it is the superwoman complex a professional feels she must portray at work, or the mother who takes on all the household duties when there are helping hands all around, the greatest gift we can give ourselves and our sanity is giving others the ability to support and help us. By not trying to do it all yourself, you are actually able to do so much more, with the pleasure of others right by your side.

When you allow yourself to be vulnerable with the intention of demonstrating compassion, honesty, humility and consideration, you are showing the world that being human is a blessing, even with all our imperfections.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

ragrances F Not All

Are Costly

by Mary Felkins

Everywhere we go, people breath in the exquisite fragrance.

Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation - an aroma redolent of life.

II Corinthians 2:14b-15

I absolutely love a pleasing fragrance. Just ask either of my two daughters: “Mom, do we seriously have to stop at the perfume counter every time we’re at the mall?”

I’ll typically dig my heels into the tile, sniff another selection.“Yes. I’m making a list for Dad. You know, there’s Valentine’s Day, Christmas, my birthday…”

Volumes of research do verify that fragrances have the ability to negatively affect one’s emotions and health, while they can also significantly reduce stress and lift mood. God knew that when He created fragrances and gave mankind the ability to enjoy them (particularly in the spring when a myriad of natural blooming scents abound - all at no cost).

scent my way. I glanced at the air vent clip. The perfumed oil had dwindled down to nearly nothing. Gasp! There went the last of a four-pack purchased a few months back. I made mental note to restock.

But then I considered our bank account. Guilt nagged as I began to wonder: What must it cost to so thoroughly fragrance my world and effectively cover up the odor of who-knows-what?

Um, lots.

Thing is, all that perfume dabbing and spraying, candle burning, and lotion rubbing doesn’t mask the scent - pleasing or displeasing - that emerges within my soul. Is the exquisite fragrance of Christ evident when I enter a room? Or do puzzled heads whip around and noses wrinkle with a, “What the heck is that?”

Do I need an emergency squirt of Este Lauder? Another dab of lavender essential oil? Or, perhaps, more of Him? Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation - an aroma redolent of life.

II Corinthians 2:15 At Christ’s expense, I have His sweet and exquisite scent within me. It’s the knowledge of my risen Savior, the alluring smell of life eternal. It has the capacity to drift far and wide throughout my sphere of influence. It’s never too strong, too faint. And remains forever affordable.

Everywhere we go, people breath in the exquisite fragrance.

II Corinthians 2:14b When I perform menial tasks that are far from social mediaworthy postings, like… ~share a hearty smile with someone who’s lost theirs ~faithfully complete that which is expected of me ~respond with kindness following an offense ~muscle up and flee foolish and stupid arguments ~wipe a nose with a cheerful heart

Part of my daily ritual each morning includes choosing which scent to wear. Thanks to my husband’s generosity and shared love for fragrance, I have several options. Este Lauder’s Private Collection Tuberose Gardenia, Jean Patou’s Joy, Yves Saint Laurent’s Opium. Some are soft and floral, some more sporty and crisp, while others boast an immediate swoon of opulent character with a touch of the orient. I might dab it across my neck and inside my wrists, wait for the selected scent to waft into the air on its way to my nose. And then I feel it: my shoulders relax, my heart rate slows, and a smile emerges on my mirrored reflection.

…I join the Christ-led, triumphal procession, effectively spreading His fragrance to both the saved and the perishing.

Of course, I’ve also got plenty of room fresheners plugged into outlets around the house, foaming bath salts, hefty jar candles flickering (for which there needs to be a support group for likeminded types who succumb to BOGO sales), and hand-crafted, natural soaps and lotions.

Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Prism Book Group (www.prismbookgroup.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

Firing up my car engine one chilly spring morning, warm air chugged through the vent, carrying only a trace of fresh linen

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

- an aroma redolent of life. II Corinthians 2:15b So super thankful that the finest of all fragrances cost me nothing.

Because in a world that often smells less than terrific, there’s no excuse for having forgotten to spritz on the knowledge of the Truth.

Married to Bruce Felkins, together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She can be bribed to take a break from writing if chocolate is involved in the negotiation process.

For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Mom’s Meatloaf (Recipe by Marjorie Rist, slightly adapted by Emily Wickham) 2 lbs. ground chuck 1 large slice of bread 1 egg 1/3 c. chopped onion Salt & pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients together. Press into a loaf pan and bake on 350 degrees for one hour. Drain grease off after baking and serve.

Variation: To make hamburgers, shape meat mixture into patties.

Grill as desired and place on a bun, topping with your favorite veggies and condiments.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing

Loving Father in heaven, You are my comfort in every season of life. And Lord Jesus, You are my life. I confess I often focus on distractions rather than You, yet I thank You for Your tender care and loving provision nonetheless.

Please grant me opportunities to comfort others as You comfort me and increase my passion for knowing You. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen.

Food for the Soul Mom preferred decorating and handwork over cooking, but she served some delicious entrées. Meatloaf ranked as one of her favorites. She also appreciated a good burger, grilled and eaten outside. Of course, flowers graced the patio area, enhancing its loveliness, and a fabric tablecloth always remained a must.

It’s been one year since Mom broke her hip and a couple months since she went to be with the Lord. Ever so slowly but all too quickly, Mom crossed from this life into the arms of Jesus. I wouldn’t bring her back for anything because her present delight exceeds words, but this grieving process perplexes me.

Often I find myself thinking of her and suddenly remembering, “Oh, she’s not here anymore.” Most of the time I’m filled with peace and joy knowing she’s safely at home with the Lord, but

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

tears well up in my eyes at other times. I can’t imagine losing a loved one without God’s comfort.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Nasb).

Our heavenly Father thinks of everything. Not only does He comfort us in times of grief, He also uses our experiences to equip us. He enables us to help others based on the lessons we learn while enduring pain, sorrow, and other afflictions. Nothing is wasted. Ever.

In the meantime, spring bursts with life and pops with color.

Birds chirp while gentle breezes blow. Life goes on. Though I miss Mom and ponder her memory almost every day, I rejoice in the life God gives. Not only can I anticipate eternity with Him, I can enjoy eternal life now. It begins the moment of salvation, for it’s a quality of life in addition to length.

“And this is eternal life, that they may know Thee, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent” (John 17:3).

God longs for us to delve passionately into the life we possess in Christ. After all, He gave Jesus on our behalf, holding nothing back. So, what holds us back? Busyness, other priorities, responsibilities—maybe even fear or grief—can hinder us. But God gives us eternal life, this gift of knowing Him, for our benefit.

Nothing can surpass the joy of intimacy with Him. Though life on earth fades away, all who know Christ as Savior possess eternal life. May knowing Him be our greatest passion.

Friend, what prevents you from knowing God more intimately?

Let me encourage you with Hosea 6:3, “So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; And He will come to us like the rain, Like the spring rain watering the earth.”

He sees you. He hears you. And He loves you.

For those of us who only hold memories of our moms this Mother’s Day, may God comfort, equip, and reveal Himself in mighty ways. If you’re privileged to see your mom in person on this special day, I hope you hug her a little bit tighter. You never know when the last embrace will be.

Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog.

Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

&

SisterTree

The Cross

by Debbie Roberson

My husband Bruce and I planted the two crepe myrtle trees many years ago, shortly after building our house. We actually thought we were buying crepe myrtle bushes – not trees. I was pleasantly surprised when we got home from the Nursery and realized our good fortune.

We planted one of the trees in full sun on the left side of our front yard. She has grown tall and majestic over the years and from midsummer to early fall, she is an object of breathtaking beauty. I look forward each year to watching her burst forth in a magnificent cloud of pale pink blossoms.

Her Sister Tree was planted on the other side of our front yard, but unfortunately we planted her too close to a young pine sapling. As the years passed, the sapling grew taller and taller and before we knew it, Sister Tree’s full sun was crowded out by the shade of the huge pine tree. We watched as she slowly became stunted and bent over on her shady side. She became more lopsided with each year as her branches stretched for the life giving light of the sun.

Last spring I looked at Sister Tree in dismay. I felt so bad for her. Drastic measures had to be taken, so I asked my husband to prune Sister Tree. He told me that the job was too big for pruning shears. To my horror, he took his chain saw and cut Sister Tree down to about six feet tall. It was painful to watch, but it had to be done. She now stood stripped and humbled and ashamed.

I was having my Quiet Time early the next morning, and as the darkness of night began to fade to day, I turned from my Bible to glance out the window. I couldn’t believe what I saw. Just across the road from Sister Tree, I saw the Cross. In the gray dawn light of the early morning, the guide wires weren’t visible. It was no longer the light pole at the edge of the road. It was the Cross. It had been there all along, but I never really noticed it because the lopsided branches of Sister Tree had obscured my view.

I recently heard a wise preacher say that during the Father’s pruning process, we must become smaller so that Jesus can become bigger. I pondered that thought as I gazed upon Sister Tree. She stood there naked and small in the moments before sunrise - and the Cross towered above her.

“Every branch in Me that does not produce fruit He removes, and He prunes every branch that produces fruit so that it will produce more fruit.” ~ John 15:2

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

I wish that everyone could grow straight and tall and beautiful in the majestic light of the Son. Sadly, many Christians are struggling in their daily walk. They barely survive because they are not abiding in the Lord.

They aren’t being nourished by the living Word. They are stunted and sad and they barely exist in the dark places of this life. Because of the darkness, they are unable to feel the warmth of His Peace on their faces.

Deep down in their soul, they instinctively know that there is something better. They struggle and strain and reach for the Light, but the darkness hinders them, making them lopsided and stunted like Sister Tree.

Because of His great love and in His great mercy, the Master Gardener knows what we need. He quietly steps into our garden with the pruning shears in hand. The process is painful and humbling, but necessary. He knows exactly what to cut away. He knows exactly what to do in order to bring forth the most beautiful flowers. His heart aches with each cut. He steps back when all the hindrances are pruned away.

He watches and waits. We open our eyes, and through our tears we can clearly see the empty Cross. It was there all along.

Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

Scared of Florals?

How to use prints in your home.

O

k, yes, I was the artistic child who colored on Mom’s white walls with crayons and markers. In 5th grade, I shaved my eyebrows to see if it would change my appearance. Even though I wore my green octagonal glasses to Sunday school to hide my lack of eyebrows, the other girls in the class quickly noticed my deficiency. Mom would pencil in my brows before school, but I would come home at the end of the day and be bald. As you can see, I’ve always loved to experiment with colors and art-thus the career in design and fashion.

It is May! It is time for graduation, Mother’s Day and spring flowers.

We pull out the floral dresses to wear to graduations, ladies lunches, and other events. Some of us also bring out the floral pillows and rugs for our homes. Yet many people are afraid to use prints-whether it is for their wardrobe or in their home.

As an interior designer who deals in fabrics daily, I have always loved using patterns and mixing colors and textures. Life is so much more interesting if our closets and homes are not completely beige and brown!

Friends and clients comment that I know how to combine prints with other patterns tastefully, but they are not confident doing so. Most of my clients come to me because they want things that are unique and tell the story of who they are or want to be. Prints can be one of the easiest and fastest ways to do this. These are some ideas that will hopefully boost your confidents in mixing patterns into your life-whether in your wardrobe or interiors.

Start with small accents-try a pillow in a floral or print that has your favorite colors. Go ahead-put it on your beige sofa. If you wear only solid color dresses, purchase a scarf with the latest spring or summer colors and wear it around your neck or use it as a belt. If you are really timid, tie it to your purse!

by Susan Guest, ASID

If you are more comfortable living with pattern, purchase a rug with a fun design that pulls all the colors in your room together. Or, find a great accent chair in a fun floral that brightens a corner of your room. For your wardrobe, buy a pair of wide leg palazzo pants in a funky design to wear to dinner with your solid tops.

When you are fully ready to graduate print academy, purchase or recover a sofa in a large scaled floral or Aztec print that has great colors that you can pull wall paint ideas from. Find a great large patterned wallpaper to put in your powder room or on a wall in your dining room.

Mix several prints together that have different scales. For instance, paisley designs can be lovely with florals if used correctly Prints are so fun this year! In both the clothing line I sell and in the many catalogues that come to the house, I see dresses in stripes of blue, poppy red, coffee, and bright yellow. Floral dresses with daisies seem to be big right now. Maxi dresses with brush stroke designs are big for the upcoming summer. Ikat and Southwestern patterns are huge in both clothing and home furnishings right now. Many of my new fabric books feature Bohemian designs in fun color combinations.

As I’ve said many times, when the economy improves, the fashion world gets so much more interesting. Luxurious textures such as velvets and embroideries are back in rich colors of every hue. Beige and brown will always be with us, but the world is so much bigger!

Nautical designs are still huge in sweaters and home furnishings. Blue and white stripe tops and dresses are everywhere! Nautical themed rugs are still very popular and prominent in catalogues and at market. Striped patterns are easy to work with and easily mix with florals and other prints.

They can be used with solids for those with less confidence. Stripes also mix well with textures on rugs and in pocket books.

If you don’t like to stand out, you can still wear a pattern-just go for black and white or more neutral tones. Patterns can brighten your closet or home and make the things you already own come alive. Go ahead!

Give it a try!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

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He Said, She Said

Belly Laughs

by David and Amy Washco

Deep belly laughs are the best. Especially the ones that make your eyes water and leave you gasping for air. The ability to laugh when life tries to get the best of you (and it will) is important in any relationship. Whether it’s a truly funny moment or no one was laughing at the time, these “remember when” stories often become more hilarious and sentimental as the years pass. Laughter is the best medicine, and it truly bonds family heartstrings over the years.

He Said: I enjoy watching Will Farrell movies. Ok, maybe I should be clearer. I enjoy watching Amy watching Will Farrell movies. Don’t get me wrong, his movies make me laugh, but nothing in comparison to grabbing my bowl of popcorn, my drink, sitting down on the sofa and starring at Amy while she is belly laughing at his hilarious antics. I don’t recall Amy ever raising her voice at me, but if it is as loud as she cackles – I’m in trouble!

In the first few months of us dating, Amy would attend church with me in Hickory, NC. Amy knew I was serious about her when we passed the six month dating mark, so it was time to introduce me to her family in Myrtle Beach, SC. I wasn’t too worried, so I thought, until the incident in her family’s church, when I couldn’t stop giggling during the sermon. I’m sure you have experienced the uncontrollable giggles, where the only answer to stopping is either to look away while you are squeezing your brain to think of a serious event or to stop breathing all together. The church had a guest preacher that day who was on fire. Great message and his high decibel delivery certainly prevented any retired people from accidently dozing off. At first, I was surprised to see Amy throw her arm up in the air. Then again. And again! I knew she loved the Lord, but this was a bit out of my comfort zone. That is, until the fly landed on my nose.

She Said: It looked like a cheese bomb had exploded. One minute, I was cooking dinner, the next, I have cheese powder all over my face, my hair, the kitchen counters and the floor.

What just happened? Riley was around five at the time and loved microwavable macaroni. My husband had come home from work

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

and immediately hopped into “help” mode. I had the plastic cup with noodles cooking in the microwave and the cheese flavor packet (already cut) lying on the counter in preparation. His routine when fixing instant macaroni was to shake the packet―then cut.

We quickly learned our routines didn’t match. At first I was furious realizing what happened and the time it would take to clean up the mess, but then when I looked at my husband still in his business suit covered in Kraft cheese, all I could do was laugh. We were quite a pair. I switched to Velveeta macaroni cups after that. Don’t judge me homemade vixens- I’m doing the best I can.

Have you ever seen a cat sparkler? I have. It was date night, and a nice relaxing bubble bath sounded perfect. We lit the candles, poured the wine and settled into the hot tub. All was going well until the cat caught on fire. Our black fluffy cat, Lola, jumped up on the tub and brushed by a candle. Her eyes were big as saucers and so were ours. She took off under the bed like a cat sparkler!

We both sat in the tub with that look of “what just happened” until we realized, the cat is on fire under our bed! David leapt out of the tub, grabbed the cat and literally put her out― all while naked of course. We laughed until we cried and turned the fan on of course. Burnt cat hair smells about like you would imagine.

It’s not good to take life or ourselves so seriously. Just when we do, God creates a comical moment to remind us to lighten up.

Make a date with your spouse and ask, “What would you say are the funniest moments in our relationship?” Deep belly laughs are good for the heart. These shared moments become treasured memories that make relationships rich and flavorful.

David and Amy Washco are survivors of divorce and serve as relationship advocates.

With a financial and marketing background, they are married and live in Hickory, NC. David and Amy are parents to 17 year old Savannah and 9 year old Riley.

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Widely known for it’s many adapted versions including My Fair Lady and She’s All That, George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion is the classic story of a poor flower girl in Victorian England who has been disrespected and overlooked because of her appearance and dialect. Seeking training in how to speak properly, she finds herself the subject of a wager. Professor Higgins, a renowned expert in linguistics, bets colleague Colonel Pickering that he can turn her into a Duchess in a few months time. The outcome of her training, however, is not what any of them expected.

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Day In and Day Out...

Stressed Out Kids

C

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

urled in a ball on her bed after a long day at school, Kaylie hypnotically skims through selfies and snippets of her friends’ lives on her phone. When she hears the door slam and her mom’s voice calling out, she suddenly wishes she could instantly teleport herself somewhere far away. When her mom’s voice gets louder and harsher, Kaylie reluctantly moans back. Unfolding her weary body, she wipes away a few tears, gathers herself together and heads downstairs. After a quick greeting, her mom begins to question Kaylie about homework, music lessons, applications and whether she talked to her teacher about that one grade. Annoyed by her mom’s tone, Kaylie answers her questions and heads back upstairs…to hide.

She can feel her chest getting tighter and the pit in her tummy forming as she enters her room again. “And, this is my life,” she mutters as she plops in her chair and begins to work.

Kaylie is an ordinary high school kid growing up in America.

She’s my kid and she’s your kid, doing the best she can to live life the way in accordance with the messages being sent. Unfortunately, if nothing changes, she will live in a chronic and consuming state of stress that will set her up to cope in a number of unhealthy and destructive ways.

Kids were made for relationships. When they begin to form friendships, they soon realize that people can be mean. And, pain hurts and sometimes isolates. To cope, many learn to display only what they want others to see. Social media makes this easy. They create personalities, construct their words carefully and make sure it all presents a desirable self. But, when the outside displays do not equal the inner reality, the dissonance only leads to more pain, in the form of stress.

Kids were made to find pleasure in ordinary things and to see God in each of these. As children this comes easy. But, as adolescence approaches, many realize that these delights can now lead to status, admission to elite clubs, teams, organizations, even colleges! They learn that they can use these to appear special and passionate. So, even if feelings of delight are replaced with dread, parents, coaches and teachers encourage them to keep at it, even to the exclusion of other activities. But, when play becomes work, the

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

pressure to perform can easily lead to feelings of fatigue, irritability and burnout.

Kids were made to dream about their calling and contribution to the community. Early on they are told if they don’t do well then they won’t get into college. Before you know it, their performance on homework, tests, and projects feels like a linchpin that will cause the gate to a bright future to either open up or close before them. When the future is solely linked to today’s accomplishments, many kids will throw in the towel and give up or they will do whatever is necessary to make it to the top. Perfectionism and stress are best friends.

Our kids were made to worship God and be satisfied in Him. By the time many reach adolescence, marginless lifestyles make it hard to find space for God. As a result, they can’t find room in their schedule for Him. Many wonder how He is even relevant to the treadmill they are now on. They have no idea that He is THE One who placed the desires within them and therefore is able to satisfy them. Believing that God is far off, uninterested or non-existent, many choose to worship the god of self instead. This always leads to more striving, more doing, more possessing and more stressing.

God created our kids for relationships, for discovery, for dreaming about His plan for them and for worshipping Him above all else.

IF WE • don’t foster relationships, • can’t encourage them to engage in activities for delight’s sake, • make them figure out they’re calling on our timing instead of His • don’t encourage them to leave space for God and His community of believers THEN…the joy of living this glorious will be reduced to waking up and resuming where you left off on the treadmill.

Too many of our kids are popping pills and reaching for possessions and pleasures to numb their stressed and depressed emotions. No wonder suicide is still the number one killer of teens and young adults. As parents, can we must commit to counter the stress-filled messages and make home a place where kids can do relationships, dare to discover, daily dream and most of all delight in God. This is His plan for them.

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

The Path to College:

Extra-curricular activities and Leadership Roles A well rounded student is more than a set of scores and numbers.

Development outside of the classroom matters. Just as colleges seek students refined by participation in extra-curricular activities, wise families also value the character skills developed through a teen’s involvement with student groups.

Jackie went out for the JV volleyball team in her sophomore year of high school. Having never been on a volleyball team before, she was reluctant to try out. She made the team! Throughout the weeks and months spent practicing alongside her new team-mates, she met girls who would have otherwise remained strangers to her. Sara was one of these girls. As fall months turned into winter, Jackie noticed Sara without a coat, even on the coldest of days. Some gentle inquiries revealed what Jackie suspected. Sara’s only coat was so old and dated she refused to wear it around her peers.

This discovery ignited something in Jackie. Out of her initial concern for her friend Sara, she began collecting coats and jackets, with an eye to teen fashions, that resulted in a significant donation to the Teen Closet at her high school.

Inspired leadership is commitment to the greater good. Colleges seek student leaders for their campuses. Many colleges and universities now require participation in service to others as a required component towards graduation.

be outside of their comfort zone. Focus on the quality, not quantity, of activities. Colleges prefer committed, sustained involvement in a few activities, rather than a laundry list of vacuous club and team memberships.

Demonstrate evidence of maturing leadership skills: section leader in the school band, organizer of the annual Girl Scout cookie sales, director of auditions for the school play, captain of the lacrosse team, and secretary of the Beta Club are roles illustrating traits necessary to motivate, organize and inspire others. Leading, not only participating, enhances a student’s profile.

Leading through adversity reflects an attribute valued by admissions officers. If you broke your arm during the first game of the football season, yet continued to be present at each practice and on the side-lines cheering on your team-mates, your college application should reflect this commitment.

Grades are still first. Exhibit the maturity required to balance extracurricular engagement with stellar performance in the classroom and colleges will take notice. Do not sacrifice classroom success for out of the classroom pursuits.

Develop and value relationships with coaches, club leaders and directors. Appreciate the long hours they devote to your group, and express this gratitude to them. Your gracious attitude will be noted by your adult leader and may reflect well in reference letters you will later need for college admission applications.

Cynthia Honeycutt BrainWorks Learning Center Hickory, NC 828.381.1538 choneycutt@brainworkslearningcenter.com www.brainworkslearningcenter.com

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For the

Love

G

of a randmother

S

by Jan McCanless

o much is made of Mothers day, and rightly so, we are, after all, what makes the world spin !! I am a mother and a grandmother, nine times over, so, I can speak with some authority -there is no finer, more satisfying job in the world than this.

My little six year old grandson knows all the right buttons to push, and once he gazes at me with those huge brown eyes, gets that lip to quivering, there is nothing in the world I would not get for him.

Trouble is, he knows it too !!!

I had two very interesting grandmothers, both now gone. My maternal grandmother was a British lady, all very proper and how I loved to hear her talk, in that clipped, very correct way the Brits have.

She was a little tiny thing, and loved me dearly, always ready with a hug whenever I saw her. She used to have to compete with Grandpa though, for my attention, as he had one of those bristly, scrub brush mustaches, which he would rub against my face every opportunity he had. Rubbed my face raw, he did, then, he’d put me off his lap, laugh, and aim for the spitoon across the room. No wonder grandma thought him a nuisance, but, I did love the attention.

Pops mother stuck around until almost my teen years,and I did spend a lot of time with her as a youngster. She lived with a spinster daughter, and would rather have had a grandchild with her, than eat when she was hungry. She was a very lovable, and grandmotherly grandparent.

She and my aunt had this huge, wind up alarm clock, that had the loudest tick to it I ever heard. My brother and I called it the bomb alarm clock, because it was so loud, it sounded like any moment the thing would explode. One of those that had 2 bells on the top of it.

I couldn’t get away with saying “bomb alarm clock” in this day and age, but, that’s what we called it.

On any given weekend, Nonna and Aunt Alda would have one of her nine grandchildren spending the weekend with them. I can remember, as if yesterday, that every Saturday, Aunt Alda would mix up pancakes for us, and they had one of those real old timey toasters, where both sides would come down, you’d turn the toast around, put the side back up, and toast that side. I was fascinated with it.

Sunday mornings always meant waffles, the old fashioned kind, you put the batter in the waffle iron, then, when it was done, you

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

plopped it on your plate. Delicious, and waffles have not tasted the same since!

When my children were all at home, we’d get out the monopoly game, set it up on the kitchen table and play for hours. I had to make extra play money for it, because none of my children wanted to be out of cash, so, I’d make up more, just so we could keep the game going. Then, we’d buy up everything we could get our hands on!

Now, with the grands, we play cards, only, they have to refresh my memory of how to play. They think it’s great fun to teach grandma how to play. Naturally, they whip my shorts off !!!

Now, Nonna, she liked to play as well. We’d either play Chinese checkers, or regular checkers, but, there is one thing though . . .um. . she cheated. We’d be engaged in a rousing game of chinese checkers, and she’d be jumping all over the board, here, there, sideways, front, back, didn’t matter. So long as Nonna was doing it, she was happy.

We were, however, told to stick to the rules.

It’s these little, seemingly simple things that stick in our minds about grandmothers. God made them very special, and there’s not one of them that is not convinced that her grandchild is the best, most special, smartest, prettiest, handsomest, most wonderful child in the world, and how in the world did that marvelous creature come out of my kid???

Well, Happy Mothers day all you awesome grandmas out there, and know this, mine really are the most special, smartest, prettiest, handsomest, most wonderful children in the world. As for me???

Awesome, in deed !

Shutterbuggerz

Submitted by Lazy L Farm Photography Submitted by Jessica Fortenberry Photography

Submitted by Felicia Nash Goodnight

Submitted by Charismatic Captures

Submitted by Ceragioli Photography

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

A Great Need

by Holly Boone

Facts – 230 children are in foster care in Catawba County, only 38 licensed foster families, 30 plus children waiting to be adopted in Catawba County.

“He pled the cause of the afflicted and needy; Then it was well. Is not that what it means to know Me?” Jeremiah 22:16.

There are children in need. Children who have suffered. Children who have been abused, neglected, exposed to drugs and alcohol. Right here, right now, in your town. I want to plead their case and expose you to their need in the hopes you will show magnanimous kindness and consider blessing them with your prayers, time, love, or care. I have experienced a little bit of this world as I have been a licensed foster/adoptive parent through DSS for a year. I have many friends who have been foster and adoptive parents for much longer. I know stories of great redemption and recovery and stories of great sadness and loss. No matter what the outcome of these stories and these lives, the need is still great.

God is in the business of plucking us out of the sinful and selfish world of our flesh, redeeming our lives, and bringing us into His family. By His grace, and locally through the services of DSS, He is plucking these children out of their hurtful and scary world and giving them a chance of redemption. Once they are in the system, we are asked to step up. “Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:27 .

We are the hands and feet of Christ that God uses to carry out His sovereign plans. Once these children are brought in, God prepares our hands and feet to carry these children and He pierces our hearts to love and care for them. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10.

The role of a foster parent or adoptive parent can be frustrating. But

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May 2016

oh so rewarding. It can be heartbreaking, but stretch your heart in ways you didn’t know it could. It can sometimes seem more than you can bear, to know some of their stories. But God will provide the reminder that suffering is temporary and the children are now on a road to His glory.

There are times the plan is reunification with the parents, and we pray there is true change. There are times adoption seems to be the plan, and the long process of waiting and not knowing begins. There are times when the plans change. There are times of great joy as families grow.

Children are a GIFT from the Lord. It can be hard, but nothing is as hard for us as it is for those kids. As difficult as it may be, there will also be great reward and blessing. A joy getting to know these precious kids.

They may live in your home temporarily but the love and the lessons are not temporary. We are asked to follow Christ. “I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.” Galatians 2:20.

Would you consider giving yourself up for a child in need? For siblings to stay together? To open your home to a child temporarily or to grow your family by bringing a child in permanently?

To be a part of this world of foster care and adoption, of redemption, is the closest thing to what God has done for me that I can get. I desire to continue to pour my heart out for this even if it gets broken sometimes. I pray as you read this your heart will burst wide open and be sensitive to the call to care for these children in need.

What can you do? There is an informational meeting held the 2nd Tuesday of each month at theFamily Services Center( 828-465-8901). If you are at all interested this is a great place to start.

“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.” James 1:27

Shutterbuggerz Night

I sit by the window glass reflections only of shadows.

No spoken words or whispers.

Heart empty of what is right only full of all that is wrong.

My heart beats so I know I still live.

Solitude and tears my companions, sorting worries and drained of tears.

Tonight, no prayers Lord.

Just sit with me till I feel like me agian.

Submitted by Sherry Dula

Submitted by Melissa Cockman Photography

- Donna South Benge

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