Sophie Woman's Magazine - September 2017 by Sophie Woman's Magazine

Volume 13 / Issue 7

September 2017

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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essage

By Judy Smith

from the

I’m at that age. More funerals as well as lots of health issues with family and friends. It’s a fact of life that we all have to deal with as we get older unless Jesus comes back. I am listening for the trumpet to blow. A sweet friend called me a couple of weeks ago and shared with me that her Doctor wanted to do a biopsy and she was frantic. She wanted me to pray and to have others pray, which I am always willing to do and that is the first thing we should do. However, because she was so upset, I wanted to know exactly what was going on. She shared some things with me and the bottom line; her Doctor thought something looked suspicious and wanted to take precautions. I asked her this simple question. “What is the worst that can happen?” We all know cancer is a mean disease and no one wants to go through that but at this point, she did not know whether or not it was cancer. So she was already worrying it was going to happen. Please don’t misunderstand me. I know there is anxiety till you get some tests done, however, most of the things we worry about never happen.

whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life”. Yes, that is from the Bible as well (John 3:16), but did you get that? If you have believed in Him, your life might end on this earth but you will immediately be in Heaven. Someone might be reading this and be thinking, “She is living in some kind of la-la land”. I assure you that I believe it with my whole heart. I believe it takes more faith to believe we happened just because of a big bang or that we just evolved from something. Please think about this. Don’t wait till something terrible happens and it is too late. It did turn out that my friend has cancer. Yet, she is not frantic any longer. She has put it all in perspective. I want to ask you to pray for her. Her name is Linda. Plus, if you are reading this then you have not been nuked yet. So if you are a worrier here are some words of advice for you:

I love this old saying... “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”.

•

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8

So worrying today about what MIGHT happen tomorrow is just wasting time today. Even if certain things do happen, your worrying about it today is not going to change that. I have to tell you that old saying is from the Bible. I shared that with my friend and we went on to discuss that God did not want her worrying about tomorrow.

•

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

•

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56: 3-4

The United States is being bullied by a crazy man called Kim Jong-un in North Korea. It’s really not funny but every morning I wake up and say “Praise the Lord, we didn’t get nuked last night”. Can I be very honest? I don’t worry about that either. What could my worrying about that possibly do other than make me sick? We are living in evil times and if you do not know that then you have your head stuck in the sand. Do you want to hear the most wonderful, fantastic news ever? It is another old saying. “

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that

Here is a quote from Joseph Cossman to think about: “If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today”.

Judy Smith Heart2Heart

Motivation & Inspirational Speaking judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S phie Woman’s Magazine

Contents Message from the Heart

Reaching Your Full Potential

Vibrant Individuals

Girlfriends in God

Me, Myself, & Inc.

14 16

By: Judy Smith

By: Kim Fletcher

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122

Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley

Sales:

Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

Web Design:

Brandy Watkins brandy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

Published by:

M arketQuest Media, LLC

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses .

By: Nicole Greer

By: Mary Southerland

By: Sherre Demao

Viewmont Street Strut

Viewmont Business Association

In the Winter of My Life

How to Decorate Using His Junk

Truth that Transforms

Home Is Where Love Is

26 30

By: Jan McCanless

bySusan Guest

By: Mary Felkins

By: Letty Lozano

Home Made Salsa

By: Metro Creative Solutions

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122

Cover Photograph Provided by: © Masson / Adobe Creative Stock ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************

pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Four Questions You MUST Ask by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

was honored recently to be asked to endorse a new book by a Pastor and Leader that I met several years ago while on assignment in Boise, Idaho. In his new book titled Intentional Leadership, Dave Weitz shares how the best leaders actually change the culture around them, thereby shaping the future. Although the book is geared toward business leadership, I found one of the final chapters to be a great asset to any person who wants to create a life or a business founded upon a strong personal vision. Part of my inspiration for taking time to read the book was simply that I would never place my personal endorsement upon a book I had not read and found to be aligned with my values. Another inspiration was that it arrived in time to fuel some ideas that I was shaping for a coaching client who hired me recently to help bring a business idea to life. I want that client to walk away with a complete business plan and a timeline for executing that plan, thus bringing his ideas to life. As part of our next coaching meeting, I plan to share a few concepts that I took away from Dave’s book. I am going to give you a VIP sneak peek into that upcoming meeting, letting you in on the key questions that must be asked anytime you are trying to clarify and bring your vision to life.

to visit a friend while also doing a major project of re-designing a publishing office’s work space. I knew why I was going on all three of my recent trips. When you think of your own life or career, do you know why you want to go where you are headed? Is life taking you in a direction you love? If not, it may be time to make some course corrections so you do not end up regretting years or even decades of your life. QUESTION NUMBER THREE: HOW WILL YOU GET THERE? As soon as I had those three recent actual trips on my calendar, I had to make travel plans. Would I drive or fly? Would I travel alone or invite a companion? Life is much the same. We need to be asking how to get to our desired destinations. If you want to become a pediatrician, it is not likely that will happen unless you are taking steps toward medical school. Perhaps your chosen destination involves changing a negative or broken mindset. That individual may need the support of a coach, a counselor or an accountability partner. Start today to determine consistent daily steps that will move you toward your desired destination. It all happens one step at a time. FINALLY, QUESTION NUMBER FOUR: HOW WILL YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET THERE? We each need to consider what indictors and milestones mark our progress so we can know we are headed in the right direction.

In Intentional Leadership, Dave Weitz shares what he calls the Four Question Business Plan. Don’t be limited by the name, as these questions work just as well for a Life Plan. Here are his four questions written in all caps, along with my added thoughts following each question.

Perhaps you are headed off to college, trying to secure your major and a career path. Maybe you have a favorite hobby that you believe you could turn into some extra income. It may be that you simply want to be more intentional to incorporate purpose and passion into your daily life.

QUESTION NUMBER ONE: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? When was the last time you stopped to consider where your life and business pursuits are actually taking you? It baffles me to know that most individuals press through life, often failing to take time out to ask such key questions. I traveled to three different states over the last three weeks. I would never head out to travel without a plan. If I just took off driving or randomly flying without a destination in mind, you would call me crazy. I want to plan the destination that life and work are taking me with even more care than I give to planning a great trip.

I want to challenge you to stop on a regular basis, just like a traveler who wants to stay on course and not get lost, asking yourself these key questions. Today, many people are living in fast motion, rarely taking time to stop and really consider where life is taking them. Don’t fall into that trap. Put even more time into planning your life than you put into planning that perfect vacation. After all, trips come and go but you only have one chance to make your own life count!

QUESTION NUMBER TWO: WHY ARE YOU GOING THERE? Two of the weeks that I traveled were to participate in the weddings of two dear friends. One week, I traveled to Boise

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach and Author. Her latest Life Coaching book is FREE at: http://www.kimfletchercoach.com. In this book, Escape the Mundane, Kim empowers each reader to create a life they love. Visit this link to grab your own copy and start asking the right questions that will take your life and business toward your desired destination. Kim partners with clients who want to make life count. Inquire about her coaching and speaking by contacting her directly: Kim@kimfletchercoach.com

Shutterbuggerz

Submitted by Faith Wright

Submitted by Jessica Hemphill

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

ibrant Individuals...

Know Their “Why”

Why do you do what you do? There are reasons. Reasons that bubble up from the inside of you make you do what you do. At your core, you value certain ideals that shape how you believe life must be lived. My aim is to help you consciously see, claim, and act on these core values. Left dormant without conscious ownership your core values may be inconsequential. This may mean that while they are in you they are not producing an effect that creates an impact. One of my core values is possibilities. I believe at my core that possibilities exist at every turn. That humans have potential to do much more than they realize. You cannot convince me that a human life cannot make a positive impact by simply seeing what is possible and taking action to make it probable. If you value love, if you own the core value of love, then you behave in ways that make love a reality. It is simple. Take Jesus for example. He declares in Mark 12: 28-34 that love is the greatest commandment of all. In fact, he gives examples that help you see how to live out this behavior making it a driving force for shaping your life. He insists that to make love a core value you must: • •

Love your God with all your heart, your soul, your mind, and your strength. Love your neighbor as yourself.

His entire life pointed to, celebrated, and exuded love. Core Values are in essence the intrinsic motivations for behavior. Another amazing example of living out a core value is Martin Luther King. He lived and died for equality. He declares in his famous speech on the mall, in the first sentence, “I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.” He goes on to repeat the word freedom twenty times. He is clear on his core value. His impact was great. My favorite example of living a vibrant life through knowing your “why” is Ann Starrette. Ann, my mentor, has the core value

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach

of providing sacred space for others to tend their soul. Notice, notice, notice that while Jesus and Martin have broad and big core values, Ann’s core value is specific, detailed, and focused. Ann owns a retreat center in Statesville, NC where people can tend their souls. From businesses seeking to devise a strategic plan, to pastors seeking the heart of God, to individuals who long for a more spirited life, the Starrette Farm offers a respite for souls. The space she provides gets individuals to actually slow down to notice their core values. Businesses declare in their strategic meetings their “why” for business. Pastors revisit their “why” for a dedicated life to God. And, individuals get clear on their “why” through spiritual direction and coaching. What is your “why?” Stopping to consider this very powerful question can: • • • • •

Provide direction Develop your confidence Give you peace Fill a void in the world And seriously heal other’s lives.

If you value something at your “core” you engage your will to take action. This is unconscious in most individuals. When you explore core values you are called to a higher level of consciousness. Instead of reacting to some “thing” or some “opportunity” that comes your way, you are now invited to be proactive and engage in the “things” or “opportunities” that make an impact in the name of your core value. When you define what’s important at your core these values act as what author, Laurie Beth Jones calls a “harness” and “a sword.” Basically, you lead your life intentionally. You lead your life on your terms. You lead your life through the “mental models” of your core values. This is a serious position of power. You are in control by pulling back on the harness…reins…and saying WHOA! This “thing” and this “opportunity” are NOT for me. I believe someone with the core value of ______ would be better suited to give this the time and energy it deserves.

With a sword, you are in control by cutting off the duties, responsibilities, and OBLIGATIONS that drain you and leave you empty. If you do a task and feel resentment, you need a sword. Resentment is toxic. I realize that sometimes we must do things we don’t “like.” This is where character development comes in. This is where compromise comes in. This is where re-framing comes in. Personally, I don’t enjoy balancing the check book, doing Excel spreadsheets or analyzing numbers. I would rather deal with letters than numbers. I would rather deal with people than mundane tasks. However, I know that I must do these things to be secure, to grow my business, and to be a “grown up.” So, I do them with the mental model of my core value of personal development. I don’t do it because I have a core value of economic security. I do it because it makes me see how I am developing my financial life and it helps me continue to develop my skills, my business, etc. So, core values also help us “approach” what must be done through a core value mental model that will spur us to action. Let’s get started. I have a resource that can help you determine your core values. Simply email me at info@thevibrantcoach.com.

“It’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are.” -Roy E. Disney

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life, and spiritual growth. Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life, executive, and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach. com and www.thelydiagroup.com

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

God’s Love Showed Up! by Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth

“In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.” Ephesians 3:12

Friend to Friend

One of my favorite people is author and speaker Patsy Clairmont. We were trying to set up a time to visit when she came to speak at a Women of Faith Conference in my hometown. “Patsy, I’d love to spend some time with you before the conference, but I don’t have a backstage pass. I won’t have access to the part of the building where you will be.” “No problem,” Patsy answered. “Just go to my book table and tell my son who you are. He’ll bring you to me.” The day of the conference arrived, and I swam through a sea of women to reach Patsy’s crowded book table. It wasn’t hard to spot her son – a male version of Patsy herself. After proper introductions, Jason and I were off to find his mom. First we passed through heavy mahogany double doors that led to an area called The Crown Room for the VIP’s who attended professional basketball games and other important events. Then we entered an elevator that took us to an area where the speakers were tucked away. As I stepped into the elevator, a stern-faced security guard pointed his finger in my face and pronounced, “You’re not supposed to be here, young lady. Where’s your backstage pass? You’re going to be in a lot of trouble.” He whipped out is walk-talkie and was not afraid to use it. Before I could force one word out of my dry mouth, Patsy’s son stepped forward, showed the guard his credentials, and gallantly stated, “I’m one of the speaker’s son. She’s with me.” “That’s right,” I agreed when I had once again found my tongue. “He’s Patsy Clairmont’s son, and I’m with him.” “Oh, OK then,” the guard said. Then he hopped off the elevator and was off to seek and find other dangerous Christian women like myself who were attending the conference. I had a wonderful visit with Patsy and left the conference very inspired by each one of the speakers. But perhaps the greatest lesson I learned was on that elevator ride. See, one day we will leave this earth, heaven bound. As we make our way to God’s throne room there may be someone lurking in the shadows, waiting to accuse us, to call us unworthy, and to question our credentials. In Revelation 12:10, Satan is called “the accuser of the brethren.” I envision him standing in my path, pointing his crooked, gnarled, demonic finger in my face and saying, “You don’t belong here!

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Where’s your pass? What are your credentials?” Then just as Patsy’s son stepped forward to vouch for me, Jesus, God ‘s Son, will step forward and say, “Leave her alone! She’s with me. I’m all the credentials she needs.” Just like the security guard who pointed his finger in my face and told me I didn’t have the right credentials to enter the secure area, Satan will tell us that we don’t have the right credentials to enter the throne room of God. He’s a liar and a thief. Once you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you have all the credentials you need. As a child of God, you have undeniable access because God’s Son is with you and in you.Savor the peace of knowing that one day you will pass through heaven’s gates to spend eternity with your Heavenly Father. You don’t have to worry about what the future holds, because God holds your future. If you know Jesus, you’ve got what it takes. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV)

Let’s Pray

Heavenly Father, thank You that I have undeniable access to You through the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Lord, if it were up to my credentials—or rather my own works, I would never stand. But You have made a way for me to come into Your presence. I look forward to the day when I will see You face to face. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

The next time you make a telephone call and are put on hold or have to go through a lengthy series of (if…press two, if…press three, if… press 0) thank God that you do not have to go through such maneuvers to get to Him.If you have not made a decision to follow Christ and make Him your Lord and Savior, please click on the link at the end of today’s devotion to learn more.

Sponsored by:

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PLUS MANY MORE! pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Family Fun in Hickory’s Viewmont Community

Saturday 9/23/17

www.viewmontstreetstrut.com

Viewmont Welcomes

Everyone

Café Gouda’s Margie Rapp has been a participant every year. She is pleased with the positive impact the event has on the community. “We are seeing more and more families sharing the day out together. There really is something for everyone, regardless of gender or age.”

Come Join The Celebration!

The Street Strut is designed to allow neighbors to gather and sample the wide assortment of restaurants, shops and services, here in our own back yard. It also showcases many extremely talented artists and musicians who live and work in the area.

Mark your calendar; it’s time again to put on your struttin’ shoes and hit the streets of the Viewmont community! The 8th annual Viewmont Street Strut, a celebration of the diversity of the community, is happening in Hickory, Saturday, September 23. Area businesses, retail shops and restaurants are uniting together, once again, to bring this event to life.

“We love the community feel of Viewmont. It is impressive how the Street Strut unites together different types of businesses to create a positive experience in the area,” commented Nichole Dailey of First Citizens Bank.

Co-sponsored by the City of Hickory and the Viewmont Business Association (VBA), this year’s Street Strut is going to be a day filled with exciting activities. Scheduled entertainment and events are planned throughout the day, making it a perfect occasion for a fun and relaxing Saturday.

Every location is doing something different to celebrate the day. Rain or shine, there will be wine tastings, live dancing and musical entertainment, free food, special sale discounts, fun activities for the kids, talented artists and sculptors for all to meet, and so much more! So, plan to start early, and finish late! See you at the Street Strut!

“The Street Strut is a great opportunity for all of us,” commented Donna Price, VBA member and owner of Bumblebee Interiors. “This once a year promotion has proven again and again to bring fun to the community from the shops, restaurants, and services that Viewmont has to offer.” The day is lining up to be a fun filled one, packed with exciting family friendly activities. There will be free trolley and shuttle buses running all day through the heart of the Viewmont community, so you will not have to deal with traffic or with finding that perfect parking space. Designated shuttle stops are being placed along the route, making it easy to visit as many businesses as possible.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17

The Autumn of the Year In The Winter of My Life

by Jan McCanless

I resent having to grow older; it makes much more sense to start out old, and work backwards, so, that by the time our retirement arrives, we are better able to handle both the fun of leisure, and the ravages of age on our bodies. I could have faced arthritis a lot better in my 30’s, than the age I am now believe me. That being said, there are so many, many things for which I am extremely grateful nowadays. You traverse the earth today, and you see the beginnings of the ravishing fall colors, enjoying the cooler days, and starlit nights. I love early fall, it absolutely revitalizes my soul. The abundant fall harvest is truly a blessing. to so many folks, and every time I see the pots of beautiful autumn colored mums, I simply swoon. Who can look on all of this and not be humbled and grateful ? Any time of year is a good time, to me. My book tour for this year is winding down,and at each stop, I see old and dear friends who have come out to say hello, and it warms my heart. I think friendships are the glue that holds us together as we age. Quite frankly, I have no idea what I would do without my friends, don’t even want to think about it, they have always meant so much to me, and to this day, I sometimes pick up the phone, intending to call my best girlfriend and tell her something, even though she passed away years ago, I miss her to this day.

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Several years ago, my son dated a young woman from Lenoir, and for the years that they were a team, she and I became very close; she is like a daughter to me, even though both she and my son moved on and married others, having families of their own. Patti was often a guest in our home, and I came to love our talks and phone conversations, and to rely on her friendship. Now, I am very chauvinistic over my friends, once claimed, you are my ‘in’ for life, and when that person disappears off my radar screen, I miss them, - -- terribly. Imagine my surprise the other day when I answered the phone and heard her sweet voice once again,. After almost 16 years out of state, she and her husband have returned to the Lenoir area, and we picked up our phone conversation, just as if we had not been apart. Friends mean so much to me, I am so very grateful for each and every one of them, and when one returns to me after so long an absence, well, I feel truly blessed. In this, the beautiful autumn of the year, in the winter of my life, I have my friend back. Patti is home again, and I couldn’t be happier. Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

How to Decorate Using His Junk - part 2 by Susan Guest

his topic was one of my first Sophie articles back in 2010 and was my husband’s idea. We have now been married for 29 years. Even though we dearly love each other and try to make each other happy, we still lock heads on some design issues. Even though I am an “expert” in design, it seems to not matter in our own home. But, marriage seems to work better when each partner is willing to compromise, at least a little. So, over the years I’ve learned a little about compromising.

When we were newlyweds, one item of marital concern was stereo speakers. Not knowing that they were a status symbol in the GQ world, I tried to hide them behind plants. Of course, the plants had to be huge because the speakers were the size of small elephants. Thank goodness, Bose stepped up and made small, unobtrusive marriage-saving speakers that were most likely designed by a woman in distress. Now, speakers can be in the walls or ceiling; or you can use your phone for music. Another early marriage issue was a hideous blue corduroy recliner that had, what I hoped were, Captain Crunch and milk stains. This manly chair was comfortable but did not blend with my antiques. Luckily, our aunt bought a second home in Asheville and needed some furniture.

It is important to have areas where you can unwind and nurture your soul. When I moved my business out of the house, the area that was once Guest Interiors became my lady cave. No TV or sports noises were allowed-only books, guitars and comfy seating to cuddle with the pups. The walls are covered with art from family and local artists and most of the furniture was from the Habitat ReStore. This room has been life changing and is my place to do everything from yoga to reading. When we have parties, all of the women seem to congregate in the lady cave and the men sit in front of the TV in the living room. As a professional designer, I often work with couples who have opposite design styles. Since most households have similar design issues, I have assembled a list of rules for helping avoid divorce court during a decorating project.

• There is a limit to the number of pillows in a house (bummer). Apparently, the amount depends on the size of the home and the masculinity of the hubby. • Let your spouse keep at least one item from the past. Use it in a spare bedroom or cozy closet. (In our case, a Masters of the

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Universe trash can is now in an upstairs bathroom.)

• Reupholster or use throws to cover chairs or sofas that have hideous fabrics. They can disappear later (see the next suggestion). • Move eyesore pieces toward the exterior door three inches per week. When the piece mysteriously disappears, maybe your sweetie won’t notice as quickly.

• Cook a great dinner to soften the blow of asking if something can “go away”. • Make a jungle of plants to hide an offensive piece. I’ve heard of man-eating plants and hope that there is a furniture eater or accessory-eating plant out there somewhere. • Consider dividing your home into zones as in the movie “War of the Roses”. You can have your pink bathroom if he gets the man cave.

• Suggest donating items to local charities or people who are in need. This seems to help justify getting rid of things and can be a tax write-off. • Hire an arbitrator or counselor if necessary. Sometimes, compromise is crucial to avoiding a potential war.

• Hire a designer or someone who has an outside view of a tense situation. Sometimes client’s spouses will listen to a pro and respect their opinion. Most importantly, respect your spouse’s feelings. Smother them with love. Decorating is not the most important thing in a marriage. Keep things in perspective!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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Truth that Transforms WRAPPED IN STORIES THAT STIR THE SOUL by Mary Felkins

Lesson Learned from a Mannequin A while back, I went shopping at the mall with both my daughters. While perusing the clothing racks, a particular department store mannequin caught my eye. I can’t say it was her hair that snagged my attention. She had none. Her head was white, slick and polished. Sad but true, those ohso-fun, synthetic mannequin wigs of the 70’s are a thing of the past. I suppose that’s due, in part, to the fact that, years ago, SOME children used to flip those silly, stiff wigs off mannequin heads before ducking for cover. I’m told those same children were then cheaply entertained by customers who turned to gasp at the poised, but bald, figure within the store front window. The nerve of some children. Back to the mannequin… So, if not her hair, what drew my attention to her, posed with such grace on a raised, carpeted platform? Was it her darling outfit that made me stop and take a glance? Yes, momentarily. But, unlike the mannequins of yesterday that were constructed with life-like faces, detailed eyes, blushed cheeks, colored red lips, wigs, and a saccharin smile, this one had no mouth. None. And neither did any of her stiff and speechless companions. There she stood, modeling department store clothing, incapable of speaking a word to passers-by, looking quite lovely wrapped in a garb of silence. Thing is, I’m no modern-day mannequin. God gave me a mouth. Which I use frequently, forgetting He also blessed me with two ears, meant for listening twice as much as I speak.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Heck. Even the mannequin had ears, with which she sported a pair of snappy casual sun shades. My dear brothers, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19 Slow. To. Become. Angry. Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 Often I find that less-than-lovely words begin to crowd inside my mouth like pea gravel, threatening to spew. They bust open the door of my lips before I can slap a strip of holy duct tape across them. The Reverend Oswald Chambers (My Utmost for His Highest, 1935) said, “Are we playing the spiritual amateur providence in other lives? Are we so noisy in our instruction of others that God cannot get anywhere near them? We have to keep our mouths shut and our spirits alert”. Just imagine if the mannequin could speak and hadn’t allowed the Holy Spirit to filter her words first. What might she say to me? “Hey, lady, judging from your outfit, I see you could use a fashion overhaul.” Or, “Unfortunately, ma’am, this darling outfit I’m modeling doesn’t come in plus sizes.” Or, “You really don’t strike me as one who can afford these prices, sweetheart.”

Had I been the victim of her snarky, unsolicited remarks, I’d likely have fired back a few verbal rounds, snatched the pepper spray from my purse, and spritzed it at her face. Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 However, when righteous anger burns within me, the mouth guard might need to be removed. Filled with holy anger, Jesus cleared the temple of those who were buying and selling within the courts. He overturned tables, scattering coins of the money changers, and drove all from the area: “Get these out of here! How dare you turn my Father’s house into a market!” John 2:16 The temple was being defiled. Jesus had justifiable reason to rebuke the perpetrators. Therefore, God the Father swung wide the door of His Son’s lips.

filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:11

But the next time spiritually unedited, harmful or useless words beg for release and my anger over a matter is anything but righteous, I’ll consider the modern, mouthless mannequin and become one myself. Such an act of self-control might make Jesus attractive to those who pass by.

Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Pelican Book Group. She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written. She is married to Bruce Felkins. Together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She’ll take a break from writing to watch Fixer Upper or if chocolate is waved beneath her nose or if her laptop is on fire. For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com, where you can plunge into a deep, spiritual ocean or enjoy a hearty laugh out loud. Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25

Home is Where the Love is by Letty Lozano

Lord, you give us peace. You are the one who has done everything we’ve accomplished. – Isaiah: 26; 12

I have never moved my residence so many times in my life than I have in the last 3 years. I look back about 27 years ago, which is when my then husband and I bought a house. We later divorced when our son was 6 years old and our daughter was not quite one. I was granted the house in the divorce and that is where I raised my children. As far back as I can remember, my son had always told me, “mom please don’t ever sell this house; maybe he knew even at a young age that I had to work really hard to keep it, but it was their home, where they felt safe, protected and loved. Fast forward, just a few years ago, my husband and I decided to relocate for a new job opportunity. My son who is now 28 and his wife married about the same time and they bought the house. Since my son never wanted me to sell the house, we both assumed that one day he wanted to raise his own family there. It brings me so much joy to see his dream come to pass. He lives there with his family: my daughter-in-law Ansilee,

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

my granddaughter Maci, who is 3 and my grandson Trent, who was just born. My husband and I initially rented a small one bedroom apartment, and then we bought a cute townhouse, only to move back to where we are from. We rented a 3-bedroom apartment so we could have time to settle, then we thought we were ready to buy a house and put in our notice at the apartment. Things got complicated then and we wanted to stay at the apartment but they had already leased it to someone. Lo and behold, we ended up in a 1-bedroom in the same apartment complex. As of now, most of our stuff is in storage and we are in the process of buying a new house. It is a new house to us, but the funny part about it is that, it is my ex-husbands house, my children’s father. He happened to be in the market to sell his house as he was going to retire and move to the country. The kids are the one’s who suggested that we buy their other house they grew up in. Maybe for some people, that may be a little weird, but for my husband and I we are just going with what comes. My husband is such a wonderful man, he has become so comfortable with letting God do his thing, either way we will be ok. We are still waiting for a final approval from the bank, but I feel very peaceful about the whole transaction. My wish is to keep it as simple and fair as possible. I can’t say right now if it is going to work out, but we are willing to go through the motions, and if it doesn’t pan out it will be because God has something better planned for us. It is somewhat of an odd situation. Through all the years that have passed by, I can see how we have all moved on with our lives and yet somehow we have all stayed connected. For our children, growing up with their

parents divorced, we have remained friends and connected as a family within the circle of our children, as evidence that we are willing to retire in my ex-husbands house where he lived for many years. My son’s dream to one day own the house that he grew up in, now has the opportunity to see his children enjoy his other childhood home. What are the chances of that happening, just in the timing alone? At the very least we can say we tried to follow their suggestion, and leaving the result up to God. I don’t think that this kind of situation happens very often but it would be an adventure to be able to witness our grandchildren growing up in their parents other childhood home. I have learned through the recent moves, that I can make any house a home. It does not matter how fancy it is or how big it is, as long as it is filled with love that is all that really matters. You see, a house is really just that: a house. A home is a place where there is love, joy, peace and happiness. Believe it or not, with all the recent moves, I have learned that there is a reason and a blessing in all the moves that have recently taken place. I will continue to follow where God leads me. Wherever I am at any given time, is exactly where I am supposed to be.

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Letty Lozano is a writer and author of her first Memoir, “Traveling Blind.” As a survivor of a loved ones suicide, her memoir was born out of the responses she received from readers of blog entries written during her painful journey from utter despair to a renewal of her faith and enjoyment of life. She believes only God the creator can provide the comfort, strength of mind, and encouragement required by survivors to travel blindly into the future full of confidence and renewed joy. www.lettylozano.com

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27

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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Expertise is not the only advantage to hiring a wedding planner. These people are often skilled at negotiations and can serve as buffers between couples and vendors. Brides and grooms also can rely on wedding planners to avoid to succumbing to the stress of planning their weddings. The following are some other reasons why hiring a wedding planner can be a smart move. • Planners handle the not-so-fun parts. Trying cake flavors and picking out bouquet colors might be exciting, but figuring out how many tipsy wedding guests can fit in a shuttle bus back to a hotel may not. Wedding planners can step in when necessary to handle the more mundane tasks, like organizing receipts or putting together guest toiletry baskets. • Planners may be privy to discounts. Some planners may have long-lasting professional relationships with vendors, and these relationships may help couples get better prices on certain services. Planners also have the expertise to advise on which purchases are smart and which may be unnecessary. • Properly vet vendors and stay on top of deadlines. Wedding planners can investigate all vendors and be in charge of getting them paid on time. Planners also can keep track of upcoming deadlines, ensuring that all parties arrive on time to rehearsals, fittings, appointments, and, of course, the wedding. • Planners can help establish a budget. Wedding planners can assist couples in developing their wedding budgets. Because they know how much many services cost, planners can provide accurate estimates on wedding bills and how to allocate funds. • Planners can free up time. When couples are not bogged down with running errands or scheduling every detail of the wedding, they can enjoy the time leading up to their weddings even more. That means more time can be spent planning the honeymoon. Weddings are multifaceted events that require substantial forethought. Wedding planners help keep couples on task, on budget and less stressed.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

Impress guests with homemade salsa at your next soirée

atherings of family and friends are better with food, and few foods are more universally beloved than salsa. Whether they’re hosting a gathering for the big game or a celebration of Hispanic culture and cuisine, hosts who want to go the extra mile can forgo storebought salsa for the following homemade recipe for “Warm Black Bean Salsa” courtesy of Judith Finlayson’s “The Health Slow Cooker: 135 Gluten-Free Recipes for Health and Wellness” (Robert Rose).

Warm Black Bean Salsa Makes about 3 cups 2 1 4 2 1 1 1 2 2 2

cups cooked black beans, drained, rinsed and mashed (see tip 1 below) cup diced tomatoes (see tip 2 below) green onions, finely chopped roasted peppers (poblano or sweet), peeled and diced roasted jalapeño, seeded and diced, or 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce teaspoon puréed garlic (see tip 3 below) teaspoon finely grated lime zest tablespoons freshly squeezed lime juice cups shredded cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese tablespoons finely chopped cilantro leaves Finely chopped green onions

1. In slow cooker stoneware, combine beans, tomatoes, green onions, poblano, jalapeño peppers, garlic, lime zest and juice, and cheese. Stir well. Cover and cook on high for 11⁄2 hours, until mixture is hot and bubbly. Stir in cilantro, sprinkle with green onions, if using, and serve. Tips: 1. Use 14- to 19-ounce can of no-salt-added beans, drained. Or cook dried beans yourself (see below). 2. For convenience, substitute 1 cup drained no-salt-added diced canned tomatoes. 3. To purée garlic, use a sharp-toothed grater.

Basic Beans

Makes approximately 2 cups 1 3

cup dried white beans (see tip below) cups water Garlic (optional) Bay leaves (optional) Bouquet garni (optional)

1. Long soak: In a bowl, combine beans and water. Soak for at least 6 hours or overnight. Drain and rinse thoroughly with cold water. Beans are now ready for cooking. 2. Quick soak: In a pot, combine beans and water. Boil for 3 minutes. Turn off heat and soak for 1 hour. Drain and rinse thoroughly under cold water. Beans are now ready to cook. 3. Cooking: In slow cooker stoneware, combine 1 cup presoaked beans and 3 cups fresh cold water. If desired, season with garlic, bay leaves or a bouquet garni made from your favorite herbs tied together in a cheesecloth. Cover and cook on low for 10 to 12 hours or overnight or on high for 5 to 6 hours, until beans are tender. Drain and rinse. If not using immediately, cover and refrigerate. The beans are now ready for use.

Warm Black Bean Salsa pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | September 2017

Tip: If you have difficulty digesting legumes, add 2 teaspoons cider vinegar or lemon juice to the water when soaking dried beans.

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