Woman’s Magazine
November 2017
FREE Volume 13 / Issue 9
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
N o vember
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from the By Judy Smith
omewhere along the line, I got old. It is not the only thing that has sneaked up on me. Aches and pains have just jumped on my bones and then there is my feeble mind. It is really playing tricks on me and messing me up in a big way. One way is not being able to keep up with days, dates, months and worse than anything, I can’t keep up with holidays. Honestly, here it is November and I have spent most of October waiting on daylight saving time to change back, only to find out it would not happen until November. Can we repeal and replace Daylight Saving Time? I want to lose an hour every week but I want that hour to be on Monday anytime during the work day! November is here and oh my goodness, it has a lot of holidays or special events and I am feeling so overwhelmingly unprepared. Thankfully with the time change, I will get that hour back and maybe get caught-up. Then there is Election Day, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving Day, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, Cyber Monday, and Giving Tuesday. I am pretty sure I will have lost that hour by now. Unless this is the time of year we move up and I lose an hour. Either way, I usually lose an hour trying to figure out if I am going to lose an hour and getting all my clocks set to the right time. I hope you know I am being a little silly about that but one Holiday that I cannot and will not be silly about is Veterans Day. My blood runs red, white and blue and I will NEVER FORGET the cost of Freedom and what our Veterans and their families sacrifice for it. My heart has been broken seeing the kneeling during our National Anthem and our flag. I am sure some of you reading this may disagree and you have the right to do that, but I want to share something about that. Maybe I don’t understand what you have gone through in the past or going through now. However, the same can be said about me. You don’t know what I have been through in the past or what I am
going through right now. Yet, I cannot hear the National Anthem without crying. I do not worship the flag. When I see the flag it says to me “I am flying high to remind you that you are in a blessed Nation. Men and women of all race, color, creed or religion have sacrificed for me”. My family has given a lot over the last couple of generations to keep America a FREE NATION. I stand for America! Then there is Thanksgiving. What does this holiday even mean anymore? Definitely not the same as it used to. We have replaced the family with shopping; thankfulness with complaining, and time for building traditions with time focusing on saving a dime or two. Here again, I am pretty sure this will not be a popular viewpoint but it is my viewpoint. I sure wish we would go back to Blue Laws on some holidays and Sunday. Just in case someone reading this does not know what this is: it is a law prohibiting certain activities, such as shopping, on a Sunday. I would love for that to be enforced again and expanded to certain holidays. I love Black Friday...ON BLACK FRIDAY!. I am a people watcher and it is so much fun. You never know what you are going to see or hear. Besides, Black Friday is the day people are willing to trample all over other people for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they have. All I know...my head is spinning, and I have not even talked about Christmas. I will just leave that for next month! Just in case I have really upset you with “my opinions”, I have saved one last event to tell you about. November 17th is National UnFriend Day. Judy Smith Heart2Heart
Motivation & Inspirational Speaking judy@heart2heartmotivation.com 828-320-9936
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3
S
phie Woman’s Magazine
Contents Message from the Heart
3
Reaching Your Full Potential
6
Vibrant Lives
8
Girlfriends in God
10
Me, Myself, & Inc.
14 16
By: Judy Smith
By: Kim Fletcher
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By: Nicole Greer
By: Mary Southerland
By: Sherre Demao
The Chosen One by Terri Hintz
2 Little Words
18
Make Your Home A Haven
22
Truth That Transforms
26
A Daily Dose of Prayer
28 30
By: Jan McCanless
bySusan Guest
By: Mary Felkins
By: Patricia Middleton
Helping Teachers Help Students
Featuring Classroom Connections
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Cover Photograph Provided by: © Alliance / Adobe Creative Stock ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser. Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************
pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
2017
PO Box 40 Conover, NC 28613
All performances held at
Tri-City Baptist Church * 1409 NC Highway 16 North * Conover, NC 28613
Friday, December 1.................7:00 p.m. Saturday, December 2 ...........1:00 p.m. Saturday, December 2 ...........6:00 p.m. Sunday, December 3 ..............5:00 p.m.
T WO S END WEEK OOSE TO CH M! FRO
2017
GET Y TICKEOUR TODA T S Y!
Friday, December 8.................7:00 p.m. Saturday, December 9 ...........1:00 p.m. Saturday, December 9 ...........6:00 p.m. Sunday, December 10............5:00 p.m.
GENERAL ADMISSION SEATING
Tickets.................................................................................. $12.00 Group Tickets (20 or more in advance) ...........................$10.00 All Ticket types available online - visit our website
www.promisenc.org No Refunds Available
No Child Care Provided
Due to the intensity of the program, children under 4 should not attend
For additional information, call the Music Department at (828) 465-6644 ext. 203 or visit our website www.promisenc.org
PLEASE CUT ALONG DOTTED LINE AND RETURN FORM TO: PROMISE TICKETS TRI-CITY BAPTIST CHURCH, PO BOX 40, CONOVER, NC 28613
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8/21/17 11:43 AM
Name:________________________________________ Address:______________________________________ City/St/Zip:____________________________________ Daytime Phone: ________________________________ Email: ___________________________________________ Performance Preference: It is imperative that you make a request for 2 different dates, as tickets may not be available for your 1st choice.
1st Choice: __________________________________________ 2nd Choice: _________________________________________ TICKET ORDERS ARE FILLED IN THE ORDER THEY ARE RECEIVED.
Single Ticket 1-19 Number of Tickets ________________ x $12.00 each = ________________ Group Tickets (20 Tickets or More) Number of Tickets ________________ x $10.00 each = _______________
Total Due: _________________ PLEASE MAKE CHECKS PAYABLE TO TRI-CITY BAPTIST CHURCH
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Get Back To What You LOVE! by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach and Author of Escape the Mundane
“You have to be burning with an idea, or a problem, or a wrong that you want to right. If you’re not passionate enough from the start, you’ll never stick it out.” ~ Steve Jobs Earlier today, I went onto Facebook to send a note to one of my coaching clients. I only intended to take a moment when I noticed that one of my friends was Live. I took time to tune in simply because this is a man who has deeply impacted my life, along with his amazing wife. I would define them as a passionate couple, and here he was talking on the topic of passion. His message was simple. Get back to what you love and guard your passions with your life. He went on to share a brief story of a time in his life when he had been extremely passionate about an experience that had transformed his life. His friends began to tell him that he needed to rein in his emotion, his passion, and his extreme way of reliving that moment. My friend’s name is Kamran Yaraei and he is from Iran. He is one of the most genuine, unique and powerful Christian leaders that I have ever met. His faith in Christ and his story of how Jesus met him in a radical way impacted my own life deeply. When Kamran speaks, I listen. So I listened intently as he described slowly conforming to the nay-sayers around him. He then commented that as soon as he began trying to conform to the expectations and cultural norms around him, that he found that his passion began to slowly die. As I watched and listened to him describe the path he is currently taking to claim back his own unique and intense passions for life and his faith, I realized just how important it is to keep my own passions alive. He went on to ask his audience what they have stopped doing that they once loved. He noted how often with age, time pressures, overworking, and stresses of life that it is easy to abandon the very pursuits that make us unique individuals. Take a moment to consider your own life. What passion have you laid aside? What driving desire has life almost crushed out of your heart and life?
pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
Did you use to take time to play guitar? Did you used to keep a journal over a quiet cup of coffee? Did you once enjoy reading the Bible or a favorite inspirational book to start or end your days? Now ask yourself how different you feel on the days where you choose to take time for your passions. Just a few moments with a dear friend, some favorite music, or taking time to prepare a favorite meal can recalibrate your heart back in tune with all that makes you uniquely YOU! Don’t fall into the cultural lie that says dreams are only for children. Dreaming is for every person who wants to renew their youth and live from a place of love, joy and peace. Those who live disconnected from the things they love the most merely exist. Those who guard their passions tap into endless joy and adventure. Do not let your passions die because when they die, you begin to die prematurely. Jon Bon Jovi once remarked, “Nothing is as important as passion. No matter what you want to do with your life, be passionate.” That is a great life coaching tip from a legendary rock star. Now, take his advice and the inspiration from my friend Kamran … go out there and ROCK your own life! Pick up your guitar and strum a few cords that are uniquely you. Music may not be your thing, but it is a great illustration of how our passions create the soundtrack for life. Can you hear the music or have you fallen into a mundane existence? You were created for MORE. Don’t settle for less than all you are meant to become. It is never too late to give the world the gift of your unique set of gifts, talents and passions. Kim Fletcher is a Life Coach and Author of global impact. She is sharing her latest book, Escape the Mundane, FREE at this link: http://www.kimfletchercoach.com. Kim passionately partners with individuals and groups who are determined to develop their full potential. For a tremendous inspiration, meet her friend Kamran at the website shared by he and his amazing wife, Suzy: KSMinistry.org.
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V
ibrant
L ives...
Are Marked with Gratitude
Gratitude builds a bridge to wealth. Yes, it will build a bridge to financial wealth. But perhaps more surprisingly and more importantly it builds a bridge to a rich fulfilling life. In fact, building the rich fulfilling life actually makes financial riches more probable. If you’ve been reading my articles for the last ten years in Sophie Woman’s Magazine, then you know a “Vibrant Life” is pulsating with energy and enthusiasm. I am grateful to God that I have an in-born bias for the positive. While some individuals may not understand this bias, I can tell you that even I, a serious optimist, need to fuel myself to live a vibrant life. And, gratitude is high-octane fuel! When you are grateful, you get filled up… fulfilled…energized…and consequently enthusiastic. In essence, you become VIBRANT! Dave Cowan, the first master coach I ever worked with, taught me about being fueled by reflecting on the riches you have in your life. His words woke me up to the power of gratitude. He shared… “All around you is a glorious buffet. There are carts full of fulfillment on your left, to the right, in front and behind you. Opportunities abound. There are a plethora of possibilities awaiting your engagement. The results of your good work have left an impact. Your influence in other’s lives is apparent. The energy you have poured out has produced good fruit. Your work in your personal life and in your professional life have created outcomes small and large that were integral to your growth and success and others. The problem is… You haven’t slowed down to notice, to taste, to take in and enjoy what your life has served up. When you notice what you’ve done with what God has given, you can’t help but be filled to overflowing with gratitude.” He’s right. If you are first grateful to God for your life’s energy, its gifts
pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
By Nicole Greer, PPCC aka The Vibrant Coach
and talents and secondarily aware of your use of them, you become fulfilled. You realize you are part of God’s plan! This is an exciting adventure that is a privilege and an honor. The spark He placed in you at birth becomes ignited and your passion sheds light. And that light, allows others to see what God can do. The children’s Sunday school song goes like this, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” While the idea of being VIBRANT is given to the very young, I offer it to you too! A VIBRANT individual takes time habitually to be grateful so that they can recognize their little light, fuel, and be fulfilled so they can let their light shine. Let’s get started! The number on ways to be grateful and “full-fiIled”, so your light can shine is writing what you are grateful for in a journal. I know. You know this one. Okay, but are you doing it? Journaling has a stigma that it is “difficult.” It’s only difficult because we make it difficult. You don’t have to be a successful author to be one who journals. You simply need to slow down to write down a few words everyday that…again…fill you up with gratitude. This kind of journaling is not the “memoirs” kind of journaling. It’s a personal habit that shifts your thinking and helps you release the right kind of neuropeptides that will actually make you VIBRANT. Numerous studies have been done on the science of gratitude. When a person practices gratitude, they can protect their heart by decreasing blood pressure and lowering heart rate variability. Growing a habit of gratitude reduces stress hormones like cortisol. Over a period of time, people who practice gratitude sleep better, literally breath easier and increase their immunity. I have a wonderful article about the art and science of thoughts by Timothy Koock. It’s humorous and en-LIGHT-ening. Email me at info@thevibrantcoach.com and I’ll send it to you. Begin a habit of being grateful in one of these creative journaling methods:
•
• •
Get a fun container or maybe a beautiful vase and write your notes of gratitude on a piece of paper with the date and place them in the jar. Then each month or once a year sit down to review everything you are grateful for over that period of time. You could make a meaningful ritual out of this and even invite your family to join you! Get the “Gratitude Journal” app for your iPhone or Android in the store. Each day you are prompted to name five things you are grateful for that day. Write a hand written thank you note everyday. This lost art can provide all the physiological benefits for both you and someone else. Just imagine a world full of grateful people and people who are told they are worth gratitude…
It would be illuminated with joy and very, very rich. Let’s build a bridge.
At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9
It’s Not About Me by Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth
“Let them praise the name of the LORD, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens” Psalm 148:13
Friend to Friend
Some of my Girlfriends in God are not going to like this devotion. I’m not even sure I do. But I’m going to put it out there anyhow. During the month of February, I write devotions on marriage. It is the month of love, and marriages certainly are in shambles all around the world. Each February, I am flooded with e-mails: some are appreciative for the reminders on how to love their husbands; some are filled with hurt because they are in their own struggling marriage, and some are broken-hearted because of shattered dreams. These women are so thankful for the balm of God’s truth in a very tender area of their lives. But I also receive e-mails from women who are not married, who do not like the attention to marriage at all. They are flat out angry and frustrated because the devotions do not pertain to them. “Don’t you know that all of your readers are not married?” “Oh honey child,” as my grandmother would say. I’ve seen the same attitude in church. “I didn’t like that sermon.” “I didn’t like the singing today.” “I couldn’t relate to that teaching.” And on and on we go. You know what I’ve discovered…it’s not about me. It is all about God. If the pastor is preaching on a topic that is not my struggle, I pray that God will open my eyes to new truths that I’ve never seen. If he is talking about losing a loved one, I pray for those who have lost a loved one recently…even though that might not be my struggle at that particular time. Is the teaching on raising young children? I have a grown son, so I pray for those who are raising the next generation. One Sunday, I was singing in church. Barely singing, I might add. It was a dry old hymn and I just wasn’t into it. Then I looked at an older woman a few seats down and she had tears trickling down her wrinkled cheeks. She was moved to tears by that old hymn and was taken to the throne room of grace. “Oh Father,” I prayed. “Please forgive me. This is not about me. It’s not about what I like or don’t like. It is all about You. Truth is truth. Worship is worship. Help my focus be on You and You alone. It’s not about me.
pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
Here’s a truth I want you to underline, memorize and ponderize (I know that is not a real word, but it should be.) Say it out loud: As long as I think the world is all about me, the angrier and tired-er I will be. The more I realize it is all about God, the happier and freer I will be. (I know tireder is not a word either. I’m just feeling feisty todayJ). Listen to how David focused on God during worship: Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge.Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8 So let’s commit to remember together…it’s not about me. It’s all about God.
Let’s Pray
Dear Lord, please forgive me when I make everything all about me. It’s all about You! I praise You! I thank You! I worship You!In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Here is a fun exercise. Go back and pick out one of your favorite chapters in the Bible. Now, focus on the verses that you DID NOT underline. Here is a wonderful Psalm to use for your extended prayer time today. Open your Bible to Psalm 136 and pray that prayer of praise with David. Don’t skip over the repeated refrains…His love endures forever! He repeats it for a reason. David meant it. God wants you to get it!
More from the Girlfriends
Did you know that God went to great lengths to set women free! When Jesus came to earth, women were hidden in the shadows of society and treated as property rather than people. But Jesus came to change all that! I invite you to take a look at a video about my book, How Jesus Broke the Rules to Set Your Free and discover some new truths you may not have ever considered before! Women’s Bible study groups all around the country are delving into this study this fall. When it comes to what Jesus did for you on the cross, it IS all about you!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
Do you need to rewrite your story? I have always been fascinated by how our brains work and how our thinking and other people’s thinking impacts us positively and negatively. Especially as the holiday season approaches, many emotions can be felt from all spectrums. Oftentimes, these feelings are stimulated by the stories we have accepted about ourselves or have convinced ourselves to believe about what is happening around us or a particular situation. When negative experiences paint a negative influence on how you are thinking today, it is time to rewrite your story to a more empowering and enriching way of thinking and sharing with others. Past vs. Present: Learning from past experiences is enlightenment. Allowing past experiences to define you or limit you is unfortunate and totally within your control to shift. Don’t allow what has happened to you in the past to be your story now and moving into the future. Those who are close to me know that I came from a difficult childhood. However, thanks to the blessing of someone in my life at a very young age who helped me see the power of focusing on the positive, I can share beautiful memories and have discarded the notso-great ones to where they belong, in the past. I know that the joy I experience on a daily basis in the present is a direct result of my ability to be enlightened, not haunted by the past. Beliefs vs Values: Many people will use the words beliefs and values interchangeably. I do not. In my teenage years I realized how very different they actually were. Beliefs can be imposed upon us, plain and simple. What we value in how we act, are treated, or appreciate stem from deep within us. Our values speak to our truest, most authentic selves. Beliefs can sometimes actually be in conflict with our values. Take a moment to really think about this, and you will likely think of a personal example of this. I was brought up to believe I had a certain socio-economic place that I was born into. I didn’t accept this, again, thanks to a dear guardian angel, who helped me think in a different way. Limitations vs. Unique Opportunities: What limitations do you think that you have that may actually be just bad internal stories you have told yourself for years? Or do you think you are limited in some way because of what someone else has influenced in your thinking? When I learned that one of my daughters had ADHD as a young adolescent, as she got older and learned what society and
pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
medical professionals were stating as limits, I decided this was not going to be the story she was going to accept and know. Instead, and by the way, I truly believe this, I told her that she had a special gift. Her brain was firing off on all cylinders because she was trying to use even more of its capacity than everyone else. In essence, I told her, she was brilliant, and whenever she gets distracted and antsy, to simply remember this. This alternative way of thinking was a godsend, enabling her to focus, be proud of her so called “condition” and manage it better on her own terms. Today, as my daughter is now a grown adult, I marvel at her in every way. Anticipation vs. Regrets: None of us are perfect, and therefore, we are going to make mistakes. This shouldn’t define us or the story we believe about ourselves. Our greatest aha’s can come from those so-called mistakes if we view them as stepping stones or enlightenment strikes. Through learning what not to do, what not to say, or what not to think, we can then take mindful action based on this newfound knowledge and then anticipate a better option or outcome to move forward instead of being frozen by it or stepping backwards. Another way to shift your thinking is that no matter what the obstacles you face may be, imagine and set your thinking around anticipating the best possible outcomes versus what could go wrong. You will find that by doing this, you actually see and are more aware of opportunities to leverage as a result of this more positive practice of anticipating the best. Life is a journey, filled with ups and downs, and bumps and bruises. But then, who doesn’t have difficulties in life? Whether when growing up or experiencing a difficulty right this minute, they don’t define you; they are meant to strengthen and enrich you. Embrace who you really are and want to be. Rewrite your story from only the good you have experienced throughout your life and that is occurring right now. It’s there to be seeded and ripened into a rich, fulfilling and freeing existence unlike what you have known before.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
Did you know?
The Giving Pledge is a commitment by many of the world’s wealthiest individuals and families to dedicate the majority of their wealth to giving back. The pledge aims to address the most pressing problems facing society by inviting the wealthiest people in the world to commit to giving the majority of their wealth to philanthropy or charitable causes either during their lifetime or in their wills. The pledge was formed in 2010 by billionaires Bill and Melinda Gates and Warren Buffett, who spoke with their fellow philanthropists as they sought a way to establish a new standard of generosity among the ultra-wealthy. The pledge initially focused on the United States but soon spread across the globe and now includes 170 of the world’s wealthiest individuals, couples and families who represent 21 countries. Commitments are made publicly, and each couple or individual provides a statement explaining their decision to make the pledge. In addition to the Gates and Buffett, some of the recognizable people to have made the pledge include Virgin Group founder Richard Branson and his wife, Joan; American filmmaker and entrepreneur George Lucas and his wife, Mellody Hobson; and Facebook cofounder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Priscilla Chan.
WE NEVER LOSE SIGHT of THE LIVES WE TOUCH.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
The
“Chosin One” by Terri Hintz
As A Wise Woman Once Said… Is not wisdom found among the aged? Does not long life bring understanding? - Job 12:12 I am always on the lookout for sages. I think we, as women, share a yearning for a relationship with those older, full of seasoned spiritual fruit, who are deeply wise and who are willing to share and mentor. That’s the kind of woman I want to become. It’s a vision that gives me hope and purpose as I age. That wisdom is often shared through intimate life stories like the one I offer here in honor of Veteran’s Day.
It had been a long day of walking and they were all so very tired. The last daily act was to pull off boots and go straight to sleep in a ditch. The temperature hovered around 40 below zero. In the morning, most of them found their feet encased in frozen socks. The scene was repeated for over 13 days. The walk was snailpaced slow, covering over 70 miles, sometimes through driving wind and hip deep snow. Each night there were fewer of them to collapse in exhaustion. There was a solitary warm meal on the journey, on Thanksgiving Day. Bob was 18, six months past his high school graduation and he was a Marine. It was November 1950, during the coldest North Korean winter in 100 years. Bob’s 1st Marine Division was in pursuit of North Korean troops at the Chosin Reservoir when they were surprised by China’s entry into the Korean War. Out-numbered by 8-to-1
pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
and cut off completely from any support, Bob and his comrades fought their way through to reconnect with American forces at the Sea of Japan. “The Chinese were dug into the hills and we were constantly under fire”, Bob shared. “One day 150 of us went up to secure a hill and only 20 came back.” Bob kept moving and fighting as the Chinese descended in waves night after night. Bob was one of the “Chosin Few” who made it home. By the end of December, he was back in the United States and completing his military duties as a drill instructor in Quantico, VA. He was awarded the Navy Marine Corps Commendation Medal of Valor and a Presidential Citation with 4 Bronze Stars. Meanwhile… The handsome Marine Corps recruiter speaking at the high school assembly mesmerized Bev and Betsy. It was a very small school in a very small town on the vast South Dakota prairie and both girls were dreaming of adventure. After enlisting, they were due to report to Parris Island in South Carolina following their 1951 high school graduation. Bev was turned down due to the results of her medical exam. The lifelong best friends were separated when Betsy decided to go it alone as a US Marine. Betsy worked her way through boot camp then 3 months of training. She ultimately found herself at Marine Corps Base Quantico, Virginia with the rank of Corporal, working for the Major in charge of Communications. She dove into the work and thrived in the community, meeting people from across the country and enjoying simply being young and experiencing a wider world.
Bob’s buddies came home from a YMCA dance to tell him they had found just the girl for him. He took them at their word and he went to call on Betsy. By the end of 1952, they were married. Both Betsy and Bob had opportunity for officers training and full military careers, but they decided that wasn’t the life meant for them. They made a home and built a family in Minnesota. They both became pilots and enjoyed flying small planes. They threw parties and grew an abundance of friends. Bob died when he was 69 years old. His body was never able to fully recover from the circulatory complications that developed from the prolonged freezing exposure while serving in Korea. He and Betsy had retired to Arizona for that delicious dry heat they both craved. Betsy proudly displays his medals, photographs and his funeral flag in her den. Stories about Bob, his humor and witty sayings, his straightforward manner, and the deep roots of their marriage commitment are woven into the fabric of daily conversations with family and friends. Korea was first called a “forgotten war” in 1951 in the U.S. News & World Report. The conflict was sandwiched between America’s biggest war, World War II, and Vietnam, our country’s longest war. In reality, though, Americans did not so much forget the Korean War as never think about it at all. When rationing and full mobilization of military forces that had characterized the Second World War didn’t happen, most Americans turned back to their own lives. Newspapers continued to report on the war, but with
the entrance of the Chinese in late fall 1950 and the resulting stalemate in late 1951, few Americans wanted to read or think about Korea. Perhaps the most distinctive characteristic of the Korean War generation is their silence. For Betsy and Bob, the Korean War occupied only 2 years of two very full lives. So why talk about it now? Because after a life filled with living and sharing love with someone you cherish and adore, my mother-in-law, Betsy, developed an ability to savor the meaning and importance of an experience such as the Chosin Few shared, and she was willing to talk about it with me the way Bob talked about it with her. Her heart’s desire is to open the eyes of her grandchildren and enrich their own life experience with these stories of perseverance and courage. To talk about the past with an open heart, and the clear-eyed truth that comes with a long life of having to wrestle with affliction and adversity while also experiencing great joy; seasoned with years of deep study and meditation on the Word of God, is to share wisdom. That’s what sages like Betsy do. And that’s what I most want to become.
Terri Hintz is a certified celebrant and event planner with Drum & Willis-Reynolds Funeral Homes. She has a deep respect for what can be learned from the life stories all around us.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
2
W
Little Words
by Jan McCanless
ebster’s dictionary defines thanksgiving as a an ‘act of being grateful, of giving thanks”. Couldn’t have said it better myself. We are so accustomed, especially this time of year, of asking for things, praying that something will work out for us, or asking God for something specific. It’s always nice I think, to simply say, “thank you” for all that we have, and are given. I love catalogs, do a good bit of my shopping from them, consequently, we are showered with catalogs on a daily basis. One came the other day, and one of the things it offers is a plaque for the home, and under the heading, “attitude of gratitude”, this is what it says:
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
Dear God I wanna take a minute, not to ask for anything from you, but simply to say thank you for all I have It’s a beautiful thought, being grateful is the most humbling, loving thing we can do for ourselves. Even the not so good things we should be grateful for those as well, as all the stressful times, because when you think about it, every experience in life teaches us something. We can learn a lot from our adversity and our mistakes. Life teaches us lessons, we need to be open to receive them, learn from them, be grateful for the opportunity it offers, and move on. No matter what our everyday challenges, it’s amazing and awesome to see how the load lightens when we stop and take stock of all of God’s gifts. With the approach of Thanksgiving, let’s pause a moment and take the time to be truly grateful. Thank you, 2 little words that carry such impact, and pack such a wallop to our lives. We need to say them more often, and mean it !!! Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.
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MAKE YOUR HOME A HAVEN
W
by Susan Guest
ith all of the wacky weather and negative news, I am very conscious of quality time at home. This includes making sure that downtime is spent nurturing my soul and recovering from some long, and sometimes hard, days.
There is a special area in our home that I call the “Lady Cave”. This room has no TV and is filled with books, music, art and a yoga matt. This area will never be seen in a design magazine, but is the most representative of my unique style. The upholstery is from the Habitat ReStore. Almost all of the art are originals from local artists, friends and family members. These include paintings from my mom and a best friend, fabric creations from my aunt, and paintings that my hubby and I painted of our dogs. There is a hand crocheted prayer shawl sent by church members during a time of grief. One of my favorite features of the room is fun, striped carpet tiles that I can pull up and clean one at a time-dog friendly! The walls are painted in Sherwin Williams Tempting Taupe, a soothing neutral that highlights the art. Do you have an area of your house that you can convert into a nurture room? If so, where do you start? How do you determine what things make you the happiest that are in your budget? Look for clues in your wardrobe or home. What is your personal style? Your style might be a cozy, rustic feel with warm colors or a cheerful beach look complete with shells and ocean pictures. Many years ago, a client gave me her color chart from “Color Me Beautiful”. She wanted to look as nice in her home as in the fashions that she wore. She wanted to be surrounded by items that made her look, and thus function, her best. This was part of her design statement. Another client wanted an up-scaled “bohemian” look with an interesting red, purple, gold, and lime green color scheme. These colors were combined with folk art and sheer fabric room dividers. The look was eclectic –meaning a mix of many different styles. Furniture, rugs, and accessories from all over the world gave the area a “gypsy style”. Do you desire your home or office to have a theme that portrays your story-including who you are, who you want to be, your lifestyle, or who you want others to think you are? Here are some ideas to help you find your personal design statement: Magazines- keep a file with photos of rooms and ideas that interest you from your favorite magazines. Make notes on the things in a room that appeal to you. If you really are passionate about this, you might make separate files of kitchens, bedrooms, baths, living rooms, and
pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
outdoor spaces. This will help you later when you are ready to work with a design professional or own your own.
Possessions-look at things you love that you already own and determine if there is a common theme. Both your wardrobe and furnishings might already find inspiration from the sea or nature. You might consistently have a “big city” look with blacks, grays, and graphic patterns.
Travel- Collect art and home furnishings when you travel to your favorite vacation spots. These might inspire you to find a common theme in your décor. Depending on the stress of your profession, you might need a vacation feel when you come home from work!
Pinterest- Many of us have lots of fun creating and sharing ideas of food, fashion, quotes, DIY craft projects, and home ideas on Pinterest. Look at your boards in the fashion and interior furnishings areas. They may show a consistent style that connects everything that you love. Use this common thread to find a style for your personal home or office. If you are not on Pinterest, it is very fun but can be addictive. Set the timer and keep your habit under control! Colors-make note of colors that you love-whether bold or pale. If you like bright colors but are afraid to use them in a room; use them in small amounts as accents. Paint one wall in a fun color and keep the other walls subdued. Use bright colored pillows with bold patterns on a neutral sofa. If you are not intimidated by color, go for it!
Friends-ask a close friend what he or she thinks your design theme might be. They are often objective and see something in your personal style that you might miss. The advantage of a home or office with a theme is that it is easier to have a unified design. When you are beginning your design project, you will most likely save time and money if you have an idea of where you are going and what your personal theme might be. Have fun and enjoy the process of learning more about yourself! Make your home a safe place that nurtures your soul. Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
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Truth that Transforms WRAPPED IN STORIES THAT STIR THE SOUL by Mary Felkins
How the Farmer Waits See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. James 5:7 With the onslaught of Hurricane Harvey that slammed into the Gulf of Mexico end of August, bringing a deluge of historically devastating floodwaters to the folks in Houston (aka my home town), followed by Hurricane Irma and Maria that battered Florida and Puerto Rico, thoughts of water and rain infiltrated my brain. Media abounded with images of rescue workers skimming flooded interstates in speed boats and victims cloaked in rain jackets and head coverings, sloshing through waist-high water past streets signs barely peeking above the water level. But let’s change the setting to, say, a barren, drought-stricken wasteland. And suppose I came upon some crazy in a rain coat, holding an expansive umbrella over his head, who glanced up periodically to a sunny, cloudless sky and who wore a confident smile, cupping his hand to catch the first drop. I’d be inclined to suggest he call a counselor. “Uh, sir…?” Unless the guy had it right. What if he was waiting with the faith of the farmer? See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. James 5:7 Two things about this verse.
pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
First, it’s an imperative, not an interrogative sentence, meaning, God isn’t asking me anything; He’s telling me to do something. In this case, to observe the farmer and wait patiently as he did. Second, it suggests how the farmer waited for the land to yield. Nothing in the verse evokes the image of a guy/girl who frets and stomps his/her feet, doubtful anything will come of his effort. The farmer knows the land will yield. The farmer knows the rains will come. The farmer knows the Farmer and trusts the Farmer’s timing. Thus, the farmer waits well. There are those who wait and there are those who wait. The difference is unmistakable. One might be a fist-punching, angry, and irritable cuss while the other waits patiently, with full assurance of faith. Mind you, the farmer isn’t idle while he waits. The guy is working the land, trusting, not in his ability, the soil, the seeds, or the rain, but in God to do the yielding. Oh, may God find me waiting like the farmer, assured of His provision, yielded at the perfect time. Even one second too soon could cause me to miss God’s very best. May I be that crazy wearing a heavy rain jacket and holding a large umbrella in the sun-baked wilderness, though doomsayers rise up and mock…. “Give it up.” Nope. “Hup. It’s too late.” I don’t believe it is. “It’ll never happen.” It could and it might. “Pfft! That’s impossible.” I rather think God likes to debunk that lie with the holy retort, “Watch Me.”
You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. (James 5:11b) As the year scoots closer to its end, I find myself glancing back at the landscape of the last 10 months, offering a hearty thanksgiving to Almighty God for the prayers He’s answered, yet gasping for air regarding those left unanswered. Considering the admirable farmer of James 5:7, I’ve made an impassioned effort to wait like he did. Because in the waiting, God is growing in me an even stronger faith, nourishing the seed of His immutable Word planted long ago. So, when I’m in this place where it appears there’s zero-movement, zero-growth, fruitless effort in a barren, pathless wilderness, the waiting is meant to keep me -and fellow farmers- in tip-top spiritual shape. Let me say I believe God will supply all my need and then let me run dry with no outlook and see whether I will go through the trial of faith or sink back to something lower. Oswald Chambers Rain clouds or not, the land will yield and the rains will come. Until then, I’m to wait like the farmer. And should reformed doomsayers seek shelter beneath the expansive canopy of my umbrella, I’m more than happy to make room. Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Pelican Book Group. She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.
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Prayer
A Daily Dose of by Letty Lozano
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. – Philippians 4:6
us how powerful prayers truly are. To witness miracles and outcomes that were beyond what we could even imagine, brought us to the conclusion that most times when we do less, we give God the opportunity to do more.
As part of my morning routine, I immediately have my coffee, watch a little news and then I go into my quiet room, to pray, meditate and do some writing in my journal. Many years ago, before I really felt comfortable in my conversations with God, I would actually write letters to him. As a person who loves to write, it was easy to tell him everything that was in my heart. I would write down my fears, my concerns, my hopes, and my dreams.
Often times I am asked how does one pray? There is no right or wrong way to pray. God surely doesn’t care how we do it, only that we make it a priority in our lives. We can find God in all the things we love to do. Praying can be done while we are singing, being still, writing, gardening, playing golf, fishing, cooking, hunting, jogging, walking your dog, or dancing. I talk to God like I would a friend. I ask him questions, tell him of my worries and concerns and than place them all in his hands. Sometimes, simply thinking about Him is all I really need to do. That is the beauty of prayer. You can do it anytime, anywhere, without even saying a word.
My prayer life has changed over the years. Now I write about anything and everything randomly just to keep practicing. My relationship with God has become so much more personal. Not only do I know he knows me better than anyone, but I know him too. I always profess my love, faith and trust to him, I thank him daily for all the blessings that he has put in my path, ask for his forgiveness for my sins and then I lay all of my special intentions for myself and my loved ones into his hands. I am grateful that over the years, my relationship with God has continued to grow and blossom, but there were many seeds to sow to get to this point. It took awhile for me to understand the concept of surrendering everything to him. The “letting go and letting God.’ I had such a hard time in my earlier years about wanting to control every single outcome. I was used to trying to force things to unfold the way I wanted. But truly surrendering to Gods Will does not happen like that. To make it easier for me back then, I made myself a “God Box”. It was just a shoebox that I wrapped in pretty paper, cut a slit at the top, like the Valentine boxes I used to make as a child. I would write on a piece of paper what it was I wanted to surrender to God. For me it was as if God’s hands were in the box, always waiting and willing to help me. Once it was in the box, I knew that God would take over. He would not forget, and His divine plan was already in motion. I believe that God wants us to ask him for what we want and that from then on we need to be patient and trust that all things will work out for the good of everyone. As the years went by, my children and other family members would ask me to put their intentions in the God box. It was a reminder for all of
pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
I’m assured that God always hears and answers our prayers. Sometimes he answers right away and sometimes we need to be patient and wait for his perfect and divine time. And then we listen, for God’s voice, which may come in the silence as a thought, a vision, or a feeling. It may also come in a conversation with someone, something you read, see or even dream. I believe that prayer is the greatest act of love you can do for one another. So when I tell someone that they are in my thoughts and prayers, or I am asked by another to pray for them, it can’t stop there. I literally have to pray right then and there, think of them during my daily talks with God, or put their name in the God box. It is not enough to say I will do it; I truly must act, and continue everyday, in order to pray without ceasing.
Letty Lozano is a writer and author of her first Memoir, “Traveling Blind.” As a survivor of a loved ones suicide, her memoir was born out of the responses she received from readers of blog entries written during her painful journey from utter despair to a renewal of her faith and enjoyment of life. She believes only God the creator can provide the comfort, strength of mind, and encouragement required by survivors to travel blindly into the future full of confidence and renewed joy. www.lettylozano.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
Local Non-Profit Organization Helping Teachers Help Students Classroom Connections is a non-profit organization aimed to provide teachers with the resources and supplies they need to help educate the children of Catawba County.
“We have a big vision for our organization. We want to help our youth and society flourish, we have big plans but it all starts here.” said Hicks.
Founded by Donald Hicks, (former Charlotte-Mecklenburg teacher, basketball coach, local sports referee, and all around good guy,) Classroom Connections is a much needed resource for our local teachers. Located in a church gymnasium at Bethel Church in Mountain View, Mr. Hicks oversees an operation of supplying necessary school supplies to teachers in all three Catawba County school systems, and it’s FREE to the teachers.
So we are reaching out to you, our loyal Sophie readers. Classroom Connections needs donations and volunteers. Even if you don’t have the ability to donate anything right now, maybe the business that you work at may have some items that would be useful. Spread the word.
Mr. Hicks takes supplies donated from individuals and businesses alike. He then utilizes volunteers to help pick-up items, stock shelves, and even help the teachers as they browse through the supplies. It’s an impressive display which even comes complete with complimentary donuts (which are also donated).
The children of this county will grow up and become leaders, business owners, doctors, and a positive influence in the community which they live. Classroom Connections wants to make sure that all students have the tools necessary for creativity and success. For more information or to donate items, please contact Donald Hicks at 828-461-6737 or email to cc.information@yahoo.com.
Donate Supplies • Donate Time • Donate Money A 501 (c) (3) Non-Profit Organization.
pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
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Delight Guests With Dessert
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2017
B
aked goods are staples at many family gatherings. Whether hosting family for the holidays, reunions or weekly Sunday night dinners, hosts can make dessert that much better by serving this “Blackberry-Ripple Lime Cheesecake” courtesy of Lori Longbotham’s “Luscious Creamy Desserts” (Chronicle Books).
Blackberry-Ripple Lime Cheesecake Serves 10
Crust 1 & 1⁄2 cups pecans 2 tablespoons sugar 1⁄4 cup (1⁄2 stick) unsalted butter, melted Filling 2 2 1 1 & 1⁄2 1 2 1⁄4 1 3
6-ounce packages ripe blackberries tablespoons packed light brown sugar teaspoon cornstarch pounds cream cheese, at room temperature 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk teaspoons finely grated lime zest cup fresh lime juice teaspoon pure vanilla extract large eggs, at room temperature
1.
Position a rack in the middle of the oven and preheat the oven to 350F. Generously butter the bottom and sides of a 9-inch springform pan.
2.
To make the crust: Pulse the pecans, flour and sugar in a food processor until the nuts are finely ground. Add the butter and pulse just until combined. Press the crust evenly over the bottom and 1 inch up the sides of the pan. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, until light brown. Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely. Reduce the oven temperature to 300F.
3.
To make the filling: Mash the blackberries and sugar together in a medium saucepan with a pastry blender or a fork. Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the berries begin to release their juices. Stir in the cornstarch, bring to a boil over mediumhigh heat, stirring constantly, and boil for 1 minute. Pour the purée through a coarse strainer set over a small bowl, pressing hard on the solids to extract as much liquid as possible. Refrigerate, tightly covered, until thoroughly chilled.
4.
With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat the cream cheese in a large bowl for about 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the condensed milk, zest, lime juice, and vanilla, scraping down the side of the bowl as necessary. Reduce the speed to medium and add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Pour the batter into the pan.
5.
Transfer the blackberry purée to a small glass measure. Drizzle it in a spiral pattern over the batter, then swirl a table knife through the batter to marbleize it. Bake for 55 to 60 minutes, until the cheesecake is puffed on the sides and still slightly jiggly in the center. Let cool on a wire rack.
6.
Refrigerate the cheesecake, tightly covered, for at least 8 hours, until thoroughly chilled and set, or for up to 2 days.
7.
To serve, run a sharp knife around the edge of the pan to loosen the cake and remove the side of the pan. Cut the cheesecake into thin wedges with a sharp knife dipped into hot water and wiped dry after each cut.
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Floyd Hayes —Open Heart Surgery Patient
Experts in:
MY
HEART I’m not throwing away my second chance. Floyd once took little things for granted, but then a switch flipped. When tests revealed two blockages in his heart, the experts at Frye Regional Medical Center performed life-saving open heart surgery and treated him like family. These days Floyd takes time for things that really matter because he knows every moment is a gift. As part of Duke LifePoint Health care, we have the renowned expertise to care for people in our community. As the region’s only Duke Health affiliate in heart, we have enhanced the quality of cardiovascular care we can provide. At Frye Regional, we’re not just experts in heart care. We’re experts in your heart.
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