Sophie Woman's Magazine - Nov 2016

VOLUME 12 - ISSUE 9 / NOVEMBER 2016

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

INSIDE:

Girlfriends In God ~

What happens when love leads? | Page 10

Sophisticated Women ~ Do you speak the truth in love? | Page 8 Me,Myself & Inc. ~ Do you have enough fiduciary gratitude? | Page 14

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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GENERAL ADMISSION SEATING

Cash & Check Only at Church Office Advance Tickets .............................................................. $10.00 Tickets at the Door......................................................... $12.00 Group Tickets (20 or more in advance) ............................. $8.00 Group Tickets are not available online

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For additional information, call the Music Department at (828) 465-6644 ext. 203 or visit our website www.promisenc.org

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

Contents Jesus Does Love Peanut...

6

Sophisticated Women

8

By: Mrs. Ashlee S. Mize

By: Nichole Greer

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122

Production & Design Manager: Scott Hansley

Sales:

Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

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Brandy Watkins brandy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

Girlfriends in God

By: Gwen Smith

The Front Porch

By: Judy Smith: Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Child of God

A Most Difficult Thanks

M arketQuest Media, LLC

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors

12

By: Susan Guest

16 20

The Day that Changed my Life Forever

22

By: Mary Felkins

Symbols of Christmas

Forever Girl

By: Phyllis McManus

Live God’s Word

By: Nina Heck

24

Thankful and Blessed

26

Those Were the Days...Remember?

28

By: Letty Lozano

Published by:

10

By: Jan McCanless

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For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com or call 828-466-0122 ************************************************************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher.

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Sophie Woman’s Magazine publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************************************************************

pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

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Submitted by Derek Logan

Submitted by Jamie Marie Photography

Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography

Submitted by Krystal Ray of Find Your Shine Photography

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

Jesus Does Love Peanut…

By Mrs. Ashlee S. Mize

T

hings have progressed in the Mize household. Our son “Peanut” is growing, sleeping, and moving in my tummy.

Other things have begun to change as well. You can’t help but notice some changes and some nuances in each other as newlywed/soon to be parents. While I, as his mother, begin to feel peanut move and we see him on the sonogram I find myself in awe of how this whole process is going and whether or not I’m prepared for the next adventure of our son being out in the world.

Gaven, has taken on the fatherly role very well, which means he wants the facts. “How many arms and legs?” “How many fingers and toes?” “How long is his femur?” Gaven wants to make sure that everything is just right because he already loves our son very much.

Recently, we had a funeral at Augustana. It was a young man who was deeply loved and was born to a very faithful family. In his sermon Gaven quoted an early church pastor. The quote has stuck with us since. The early church pastor was preaching to a woman who had just lost her son. He proclaimed, “For you his eyes have been shut, but they are opened to the eternal light: he is gone from your table, but is now added to the table of angels. The plant was uprooted from here, but planted in paradise.” It stuck because it screams of the gospel of dual citizenship. We belong to our parents until we belong to our spouses, but in all that time, the baptized believers belong to Christ. More importantly, they always belong to Christ. Planted here on earth or uprooted and replanted in paradise we belong to Jesus.

The true crime isn’t found in God taking our children before we think they are ready to go. The true crime is found in not appreciating the gift God has given you while they are here. Our world is full of children who live and die and never know their parents. It’s full of fatherless and motherless children. That begs the question; How do we appreciate the gift of a child placed into our care by God? The answer isn’t a simple one, but it is a solid one. We must teach them the grace of our Lord. In baptism our sins are washed away and we are planted in the palm of God’s hand forever more in grace through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

We are quickly coming to learn that being a parent isn’t just about feeling the child move or demanding to know the length of your child’s femur. No, it’s much more than that. It’s about placing them in God’s hands and saying, “Have mercy on us!”

Being a Christian parent is believing without a doubt that He will be merciful; that He is merciful. Being a Christian is believing, “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Being a Christian parent is believing that it is true for your child as well.

Gaven and I can’t wait to meet our son. We are over joyed and yes even a little overwhelmed. We know that he will be a Christian and that he will be brought up in a holy church. I can’t wait to see our Peanut point up to his daddy while he is preaching and say, “Ssssshhhhhh, Daddy!” Gaven can’t wait to hear him sing hymns with the saints of Augustana. But, we have learned from good friends who have lost their son that we must soak those moments in as much as possible and love them without end, yet in that same “without end” “Peanut” belongs to Christ.

When I asked Gaven about that early church pastor’s quote that he used in the funeral, he said, “I only wish I could have finished the quote.” Knowing that I was wondering he went on to finish it for me. “Are you sad because you no longer see the beauty of the face of your child? But this happens, because you do not see the real beauty of the soul with which he rejoices in the heavenly feast. How beautiful indeed is the eye that sees God! How sweet indeed is the mouth that is adorned with divine melodies!” Parent or child; this is most certainly true for all Christians. If it is true for all Christians then it must be true for your little Christian, dear reader. So, when you get home tonight hold your child and tell them what Christ has done for them. Sing your child a hymn while you rock him to sleep. After all, one day your child’s mouth will be made sweet by the adornment of divine melody in the kingdom of heaven. As a parent, there is nothing more we could hope for for our children.

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ophisticatedWomen...

Speak the Truth in Love

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.” - Anonymous Any sophisticated, mature woman knows that the truth must be shared. And truth be told, we don’t tell the truth. Instead, we placate, tolerate, judge, and become offended by the behavior around us. This phenomenon is a plague on our personal growth and the growth of the people brought together by the formation of teams. When there is room for improvement in someone’s behavior or performance, and you see it, it is a gift to share your observation. It is even better if you can offer a suggestion that helps fill in the gap between mediocre and magnificent.

I know what prompted Teri to share this with me. She loves me. She loves the work we do at Vibrant Coaching. And she loves being part of something that has the potential to be excellent. If she had allowed me to remain naked, she would not be showing me love. In fact, I imagine that if she had held back, it would have lingered with her. Her conscious, or better said, her Spirit brought this to her mind prompting her to love me.

Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say. In the book of Ephesians chapter four verse fifteen, in essence, it says to speak the truth in love.

Teri did just that, and I am grateful.

The powerful question to ask yourself is: Do I do that? Do I speak the truth in love?

Hello out there! Don’t we all desire to improve our current status?

The answer is probably “sometimes.”

Personally, I respect those that tell me the truth no matter how hard it is to receive it. Just like the emperor in the classic story, The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen, I really…REAAAALLLY… do not desire to walk around naked not knowing that, in fact, I am naked!

The reason we don’t speak the truth in love is fear.

Case in point, let me exercise truth-telling honesty and candor.

My CFO, Teri, emailed me after she read my article in the October issue of the Sophie Women’s Magazine. She asked a simple, yet impactful question. With respect, she inquired, “By chance, did you put the article through Grammarly?” Speaking up took courage. She could have let me think my process, my writing, and my work was “good” when in fact there were typos, grammatical issues, etc.

Step back and think about this for a moment.

She could have just let it go. She is the “numbers person” in the business, right? She works for me, right? Wrong.

Teri is a part of the Vibrant Coaching team. If she allows the article’s flaws to go unattended, then she fails me as well as the Vibrant Coaching business. Teri must give me feedback so I can have the opportunity to improve. The truth is I didn’t do what I was supposed to do. I did not run the article through Grammarly.

I failed to follow my rule. I was out of integrity.

Have any of you ever done that? Laid down a rule for yourself or others and then proceeded to break the truth-telling honesty and candor and just ignored it?

Well, that is what I did. I am grateful to Teri for pointing out this flaw in my thinking and …dare I confess it… my character!

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

Are you scared of being taken the wrong way?

Are you scared of losing the relationship?

Are you scared that the person you are trying to love will be offended?

Notice, notice, notice, this is all about YOU. Saying what you humbly see and instinctively feel is not rude. It is the essence of being real.

Of course, you need to deliver your observation or feedback in a gentle, yet forthright manner.

This means: • • • •

Your tone is gentle, curious, and open.

You ground the feedback in time.

You share the behaviors you observed in factual terms.

And share how this situation may impact the future.

Ida Wells stated, “The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them.”

She’s right.

Small or large, our short-comings need our attention which in turn sharpens our intention to do better. Give someone gentle, but candid feedback when you see the opportunity because the worst thing about being left in the dark, or not knowing, is realizing you weren’t worth the effort to share the truth.

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What Happens When Love Leads?

Today’s Truth

by Gwen Smith

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

James 1:19-20

Friend To Friend

“I’m a terrible mom!” Do you ever say these words?

I do.

And I did that day… the day several years ago when I was working in my office, minding my own business, when out of now where my son threw a paper airplane at the back of my head… on purpose.

Not one to normally welcome an air attack, I gritted my teeth, gave him the stern “mom voice,” and asked him to stop messing around. I told him I needed some private time so I could get some work done.

He agreed, and turned to leave.

Then he jumped around and threw it at me again!

Let me tell you, my grace-o-meter was reading pretty low at this point. I barked like an angry dog. “What in the world do you think you are doing? I just told you that I needed to be left alone so I can get some work done! Stop it, Preston!”

“But mom, there’s a message on the plane,” he tenderly replied.

“Read it.”

As I unfolded the orange, construction paper airplane, I saw this message written in pink marker: “Mom, I Love You.” A few X’s and O’s followed his affectionate plane declaration. You know: hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Pure precious.

Nice! I said to myself. Loser-mom strikes again.

I had scolded my son and reacted out of frustration with a harsh tone.

All the while, my son was trying to tell me that he loves me.

I felt horrible.

Time stood still as a self-condemning internal dialog began.

Shame began to fill my heart, but as it did the Spirit of God within me gently nudged – reminding me that condemnation is not from Him. His conviction, however, spurred me on toward choosing a more godly response.

I whispered a quick prayer. And as I moved in the way of grace the Lord changed the tone of my heart. God’s love trumped my anger.

I called Preston back into my office and apologized for my behavior.

I invited my tall, lanky pre-teen to sit on my lap and stared a new conversation in a calmer tone. Honey, while I’m not particularly fond of airplane attacks, especially while I’m working, I AM fond of love attacks.

We shared a sweet moment. And as we reconciled, this truth rose in my heart: When we allow God’s love to trump our anger, we position ourselves to experience restoration in relationships.

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

The Bible tells us that we are to be slow to anger.

“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20) It’s a lesson that I am still learning.

Now, that doesn’t mean we should never be angry. Jesus exhibited righteous anger in the Jerusalem temple when he drove out the merchants that were buying and selling there. Righteous anger is biblically permissible. We should be angry about sin and injustice. But when we respond to others in anger, it becomes our sin.

Got any relationships that are in need of restoration?

Is there any anger, unforgiveness, or bitterness in your heart that might be gaining a stronghold in your life and keeping you from God’s best?

Are you quick to listen or quick to speak?

The benefits of allowing the love of God to trump any anger in my heart is tremendous, but the application sure can be challenging. I can’t overcome my natural, sinful tendencies to react, and overreact, in anger alone. I need God’s help. You do too. His grace will meet us at our need when we call on Him and the Holy Spirit will help us to respond in God’s perfect love, not our own.

Join me in asking God for His love to lead us today.

Let’s Pray

Holy Father, You are perfect in love… and I am not. I confess my anger / bitterness / unforgiveness right now when it comes to _______________ (fill in the blank). Please forgive me and bring restoration to the relationships that have been affected by my anger. Help me recognize when I over-react or when I respond in anger that is ungodly. Give me the grace to respond in love, to be slow to speak, and quick to listen.

In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

READ Ephesians 4:26-31. Make a list of what the Bible says we should and should not do. Then use that list to guide you in prayer.

Do you need to trade anger for love? Spend a few moments in prayer.

More From the Girlfriends Gwen Smith’s new book, I Want It ALL, is filled with practical help, Biblical depth, and applicable lessons. And it includes a Bible Study Guide right in the back. No extra purchases required! READY TO PEEK INSIDE THE PAGES? Download a FREE sample chapter at iwantitallbook.com. Or order yours today from Amazon, or your favorite retailer.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

Front The

S

Porch

haron Jaynes wrote in her new book entitled Take Hold of the Faith You Long For: "Just because you failed does not mean you are a failure". I really want to recommend that book to all you ladies to read. It is an amazing look inside of ourselves about how we hold onto things we should let go of. I cannot share the whole book but I wanted to share this one sentence and tell you what this sentence means to me.

There have been many times in my life that was exactly how I felt, only in capital letters. FAILURE. I am so blessed that God does not see me that way....even when I fail Him. The Bible tells us in 1John:9, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. Hallelujah for that! We get a brand new start. Is there anyone reading this that needs a brand new start? Just like Sharon said, just because you failed does not mean you are a failure.

One thing I have found to be quite true...success almost always occurs in private, and failure almost always occurs in full view. Remember the time you walked around with your skirt stuck inside your panties or a piece of toilet paper on the bottom of your shoe? Those were minor things.

Remember the time you came unglued in line at the grocery store? I am pretty sure there were more people there than just you. How did you feel afterward? The times, the places, the events, the people; on and on we could go. So let's stop. Let's move forward.

That is why I keep trying to cook. I do have some friends that are going to try to help. One is going to teach me how to dissect a chicken. Another is going to teach me how she cooks a family meal. I am not sure how that will work since she has a houseful of kids and I will more than likely be found playing with the kids.

You will find me in the kitchen slaving away trying to prepare a Thanksgiving meal again this year just like every year since I was 21 years old. You would think I would have pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

by Judy Smith

traditional cornbread dressing down to perfection by now but every year it is hit and miss. I have tried every 5-star recipe, simply the best recipes, grandma's recipe, boxed, packaged...you name it. Still, I am left with the unknown until it comes out of the oven. There is really only one thing I can attribute this to. Celery. My family does not like celery and yet most recipes call for that ingredient to be added. No, I refuse. So I am being punished with the guessing game each year. I do not surrender, I do not give up. I may have failed for more years than I want to share but I AM NOT A FAILURE. This year I will be triumphant!

How do I know I am not a failure? I have taught my family about thankfulness and blessings. In Philippians 4:12, Paul tells us, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

My family knows they are blessed to have a homemade dressing that is made with love, trial and error and a lot of tears. Hey, maybe that is the ingredient I need to leave out....tears. So no matter how it comes out of the oven they better eat it and be thankful. After all what is not eaten on Thanksgiving day becomes leftovers till it is gone.

Babe Ruth held the record for the most strikeouts for 29 years. I have been doing thanksgiving dressing more years than that. Maybe this is my year!

Maybe this is your day to keep swinging. Even if you fail today, swing again tomorrow.

Judy Smith : Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Child of God Inspirational & Motivational Speaker with a little humor thrown in for good measure. judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Lindsay Robins, taken in Newton, NC

Submitted by Tammy Lail, taken in Hickory, NC

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Submitted by Terrence Reed, taken in the Cataloochee Valley in the Great Smoky Mountains of North Carolina

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Do you have enough fiduciary gratitude?

Money is among the most stressful matters of concern in marriages, relationships and day-to-day life, and it is usually because of the feeling that there is a lack of it or a disagreement on how to spend it. Either way, the focus is on what isn’t occurring versus what is or already has occurred.

When you feel stressed for any reason, it is exactly the time that you need take a step back and take stock in what you may be taking for granted. When it comes to money, the best thing you can do is shift yourself to feeling grateful for the money you have already been able to use. Your ability to appreciate the smallest of aspects related to money will enable you to be in a better place to think clearly and potentially generate ways to stretch your dollars, generate more income and make better decisions.

Savings represent redistribution: When you don’t have to spend extra money or you get more for your money, either through a coupon, rewards, or discount program, consider those savings as money you have been given to spend in other ways now or later. Start to track all the ways you have saved money in transactions, and view these savings as money given to you, because in all respects, it has been. I have one friend that has made it a practice to track her savings each month and literally put that amount into a savings account, which continues to grow substantially.

Gestures represent gifts: The generosity of others, whether it is a dinner cooked by a friend or a cup of coffee purchased by a business associate, represents money having been spent in a gesture of giving to you. When you are grateful not only for the gesture, but also by the fact that someone else incurred the expense, you are acknowledging the fact that you have received a monetary gift in a consumable form.

Free represents value: I recently had my oil changed in my car, and the technician informed me that two different air filters needed to be changed. I was given the price for the filters, and when I asked what the charge would be for labor, it was at no charge. Since I was about to go on a long road trip, I was grateful to have these dirty air filters replaced and their need to be replaced brought to my attention. I was also thrilled that they didn’t charge

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

me 15 minutes to replace them, since I knew their hourly labor rate. Would you have been more focused on having to spend the extra money, than appreciative for the conscientiousness of the technician and the money you didn’t have to spend?

Bills represent privilege: I know this may seem hard to embrace, however, viewing your bills in a different mindset can also help relieve some of the stress you feel about money.

Your utility, cable, internet, phone, mortgage or rent, and all the basic bills that enable you to have a roof over your head are a privilege. Consider all that you have now that people didn’t have 200 years ago. Consider the fact that you are enjoying access to lights at a flip of the switch, water with the turn of a knob, information with the click of a mouse, entertainment with the press of a button, conversing with people anywhere at any time, and a place you can call home. I have gotten into the practice of writing “Thank You” on each bill as I open it upon receiving it in the mail. As silly as that may seem, it puts things into perspective to reinforce that nothing should be taken for granted.

Priceless represents living: One of the best things to embrace when you are feeling financial stress is to reflect on what money cannot buy. Are you allowing yourself the delight of moments spent with loved ones? Are you getting out into nature and taking in the splendor and wonder of it all? Is there a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while? Do you take time to just reflect upon what you do have with appreciation?

When you are under extreme financial stress, it can feel like the weight of your obligations are drowning your ability to enjoy life or appreciate anything. That is when it is most important to take stock in how money impacts your life positively, and how your life is significant beyond money’s grip. Don’t allow money to be a negative force in your life. Allow it to be the tool that it is, and nothing more, and you may be surprised at the blessings that begin to flow your way.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15

A Most

Difficult

Thanks

by Mary Felkins

If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.

But I’m pretty sure God isn’t interested in any of my contributions when I’ve cared more about assuring there’s first peace and quiet within my own heart than about someone’s eternal destiny. Am I willing to suffer heartache if it means that someone - even someone I might not ever meet - might be redeemed by God?

This month’s submission has been simmering in my mind for over a year now. When my eyes first fell on Chambers’ most difficult statement, something clenched in my chest. I literally sank into the sofa, the devotion book nearly slipping from my lap onto the carpet.

Let Him (God) have his way; if you do not, instead of being of the slightest use to God in His redemptive work in the world, you will be a hindrance and a clog. O. Chambers.

My Utmost for His Highest, O. Chambers

His words, inspired from scripture, called me to offer up to God a most difficult and costly thanks, one far removed from a robotically memorized, Thanksgiving table offering. You know the one. It sounds something like, ‘I’m thankful for this food and my health and my family and…’

Had I understood Chambers’ statement correctly? Surely not.

I sat upright and re-read it. Several times.

Thank Him for breaking your heart.

No. Hadn’t mis-read it.

Huh. Thank Him for breaking my heart? Okay, first of all, when’s the last time I’d said that to another person, let alone God? In fact, have I ever said that to anyone? No. Not ever.

Gee, Johnny Joe, you killed my Uncle Jack with your car while he was riding merrily along on his bicycle. And while that breaks my heart, I’m ever so grateful.

Such crazy talk had never entered my brain.

November brings with it a necessary reminder to zero in on that for which I’m thankful, for God’s provisions so abundantly and freely given.

But the challenge to thank God for breaking my heart in order that His purposes can be fulfilled in the world is so, so hard to stomach.

How will I swallow this humble attitude, let it work its way through and invite it to strengthen my soul? Without wincing, clapping a hand to my mouth like I’d been offered last year’s turkey stuffing?

Yes, taking an active part of fulfilling God’s purposes in the world and seeing a lost soul receive the gift of salvation matters to me. A lot. I’ve taken mission trips and interfaced with the homeless, the incarcerated, and the elderly in my community… all so I can be Jesus to those who don’t yet know Him.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

Being of no use to God in His redemptive work is one thing, but a hindrance and a clog? Just lovely. Seems that my attempt to keep heartbreak at a distance likens me to some unrecognizable, slimy filth lodged within a pipe that hinders the flow of water and likely requires a God-sized jug of pro-strength Liquid Plumr.

It’s essential to remember that God’s Spirit lives within me. Considering the sacrifice of His own son, God paid the highest price in order to take up residence in my inner being. I am not my own (I Corinthians 6:19). As such, I must allow Him to have His way. Even when it means heartbreak.

Because for all the heartbreaks I have experienced - and those around the corner - it makes me wonder… how many more have I been spared?

Oh how super grateful I am that God doesn’t require my heart to break in order for a lost soul to be redeemed. All over the world, people are responding to His calling every minute, every hour, though, last I checked, this fragile little heart of mine remains intact. But should God require it to be broken, I’m learning to thank Him for it. Because the pain will never be more difficult than being condemned to die on a cross when one has committed no crime.

Though while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8 If this year’s Thanksgiving menu includes stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and heart ache, well then, a humble ‘amen and thanks’ to God for that. It tells me He’s up to something good.

Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Her first novel, a contemporary Christian romance, is currently under contract with Prism Book Group (www. prismbookgroup.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

Married to Bruce Felkins, together they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver. She can be bribed to take a break from writing if chocolate is involved in the negotiation process.

For stories that stir the soul, Mary cordially invites you to her website, www.maryfelkins.com

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Symbols of

Christmas

by Susan Guest

E

ach person or family has different values and desires for the Christmas season. While some focus on Santa Claus and the fun and togetherness of family and friends, others are drawn to the spiritual side of the season. Food, music and parties play a huge role in the holidays. Many retail stores make a large percentage of their yearly profits from our time of giving. They entice us to spend lots of money on our loved-ones and decorations.

My goal for this year’s holiday is to make everything mean something.

Before I dig through the Christmas closet, I want to know what each of the ornaments mean. I have researched how some of the more popular decorations and customs originated. Maybe this will remind us all what Christmas is really about.

For instance, did you know that mistletoe was once used by pagans years ago in celebrating the winter solstice as a sacrifice to their pagan gods? It grows on other plants and has life-giving, healing properties and is believed to increase sex drive. Merry Christmas! Besides warding off evil spirits, it can bring a long and happy marriage to a couple who kiss underneath it. Mistletoe is normally hung in a doorway where we greet loved ones and probably is the reason we use greenery around our entries today.

The star is used often in Christmas décor. This use originated with the star that guided the shepherds and wise men to Bethlehem to celebrate the birth of the savior of the world, Jesus Christ. The star still guides us to be closer to Christ today.

Angels symbolize the ones who announced the coming of the Christ child to Mary and the shepherds.

They are a huge part of the entire story of the virgin birth. Angelic choirs still sing of the good news today.

Since the wreath that we use over mantles and on doors has no ending point, it represents the unending love that God has for us.

The fir tree is an evergreen that keeps its green color and leaves year- round and symbolizes abundant life through the year. The needles are said to point toward heaven. I wonder, if the tree is hung upside down and the needles point away from heaven, would this ruin our Christmas? Also, does a fake tree still have the same abundant life factor as a

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

real fir tree? Also, if a person is allergic to a fir tree, doesn’t that also mess with having an abundant life? Some of us think too much!

One of my favorite stories of Christmas is about the poinsettia. The legend of this plant with star-shaped flowers starts in Mexico where some poor children wanted to give Jesus a gift. They had nothing to give, but found some weeds that they presented in love. Miraculously, the weeds produced lovely star- shaped blooms that we know as the poinsettia today. This shows how our gifts to Christ; however small, can turn into something beautiful.

Red was considered the primary Christmas color and represents the blood of Christ shed for us all. Green is used with the red and represents the evergreen. Other popular Christmas colors are white, silver, and gold as seen in churches all over the world. Purple is a royal color that shows that Jesus is our king.

Other popular Christmas symbols include the candy cane shaped like a shepherd’s crook and the J of Jesus, holly that is similar to the crown of thorns that Jesus wore, snowflakes, and the candle that shows Christ as the light of the world. The Nativity tells the entire Christmas story with all of the participants in the first Christmas.

One thing that I found interesting was that caroling originated because the first carols were not holy. They were not allowed to be sung in church. So the merry carolers took the show on the road and blessed others with their glorious (or not so glorious) voices and spread the Christmas cheer. Or maybe they had downed too much ale or wassail. The wassail means “be-well”, a traditional beverage that symbolized health and good will.

Maybe this year, I will attack the Christmas closet with a new attitude. Just maybe I will think about all those who lived centuries ago and how they celebrated the season. Hopefully, I will spread good cheer, peace, and love to others. The front door will hold a beautiful wreath and the needles of my fake tree will point toward heaven. We will drink lots of wassail, and our home will have many smells, sounds, and symbols of what the drama is all about. Have a blessed Christmas!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

Forever Girl

by Phyllis McManus

February 11, 2002: The day that changed my life forever.

When I started my day, I never dreamed it would turn into my worst nightmare. I had just finished having an x ray taken at the hospital. My husband and I were on our way to eat a quick lunch. Yes, I had the rest of my day all planned out. I would go home, pour me a tall glass of sweet iced tea and curl up with a good book.

The cell phone rang, and the words I heard hit me in the stomach like a boxers punch to the gut. “Phyllis, you need to come home now.” The voice of my brother in law kept ringing in my ears. He wouldn’t give me a reason, so I knew it was bad.

I don’t remember the ride home. I kept running his words over in my mind. I kept praying God would give me strength to face what was in our future.

As we pulled the car into our yard I looked around at my family who was standing outside waiting for me. I saw everyone except Mama and Daddy.

I fought back tears. My sister, Becky, opened the car door and stared at me.

“Is it Mama or is it Daddy?” I asked, but not wanting to hear the answer.

“Both,” she said, fighting back tears.

She said they had been involved in a car accident and it had been Dad’s fault.

The picture of the scene plastered the newspapers front page and ran on television for days. My sisters and I were shielded by friends from having to relive the out pouring of the publications.

Television reporters were told not to call our phone again by supporting neighbors who stayed at our home round the clock.

I don’t remember much of the next few weeks. I only have a flash of a memory of seeing two coffins in our church and hundreds of people around the grave side. Friends and family would grab my hand and talk, but it was empty words to my

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

ears. I didn’t want to live. I wanted to die with my parents. I had a loving husband, a wonderful devoted son and my only grandson that I should have wanted to live for, but it was as if I had a void I couldn’t fill in my life now. I felt if I could just quit breathing everything would be fine.

“Close your eyes and just quit breathing,” I would whisper to myself over and over.

Finally, my husband took me to our family doctor. He advised me to start a journal of my day and my emotions. I wanted to laugh in his face, but I sat silent letting him tell me over and over it was going to be alright. How dare he tell me it was going to be alright!

I went home and followed his instructions, but I took it one step further. I decided to write a book about my parents. I discovered I had more tears on the paper than words. I changed the book from nonfiction to fiction, but kept my parents name and many of the memories they had shared with me as I was growing up. I kept a picture in front of my writing pad of my parents and me when I was a baby. It brought me strength to keep fighting ahead for the day I could write “The End’ on the final page. Within six months, I had completed “their” book. I knew the name of the book before I even started writing. Daddy would call Mama, Girl, and he would say, “I will love you forever Girl.” Those words filled our house and made us smile from a very early age. So my first book was titled and published as Forever Girl.

Has it been easy for me? No, I have had to fight depression from the day they died until now, but my life is different. I realize that writing has been my rainbow God gave me. He has let me realize that life continues when you have lost loved ones. It just continues in a different way.

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LIVE GOD’S WORD

by Nina Heck

T

Read God’s Word With Purpose

his series is designed to take your Christian walk to the next level! You may believe in God, but do you truly believe His word or even know how it is relevant in your life today? Each month we will look into God’s word and find answers to many of the questions you may have about God, who He is, how He wants you to live your life, and how to have a more personal relationship with Him. Together, we will not only read God’s word, but find out how to “ Live God’s Word” everyday!

Step 2 - Get a notebook to write down the spiritual insight you receive - Choose a quiet place where you and Jesus can spend time together.

Step 3 - Before reading, pray and ask the Lord to open your spiritual eyes, your spiritual ears and your heart so you can receive wisdom and insight from His word.

Step 4 - Read the chapter and answer the following questions - Write your answers in your notebook: 1.

2.

Materials provided for this study by:

Chuck Huskins of Reconciliation Church / reconciletogod.com Here’s the question : How can I get to know God in a more personal way?

I think this is a question we have all wondered about at some time in our lives. I know I have....I felt like the best way for me to get to know God was to read His word....I would try to read the bible - I would decide, “ Ok....I am going to read a chapter every night before I go to sleep”....But you know how that works....I would start reading and would either fall asleep or my mind would wander off in twenty different directions and I would not even know what I just read....it was frustrating because I really wanted to deepen my relationship with God. Then about 5 years ago, God called my husband and I out of the traditional church setting and into a new paradigm - the home church modeled in Acts 2:42. One of the first things we were taught how to do was to read God’s word with “purpose”....When you read the bible for the sake of checking it off your to-do list, the words are empty and meaningless.... but when you read the bible with an expectation that God is going to speak to you and teach you something thru His word, your reading takes on a whole new dynamic. Do this everyday and you will feel a closeness with God like you have never felt before!

Here are 5 simple steps to read God’s word with purpose :

Step 1 - Choose a book of the bible and reserve 10-15 minutes each day to read (not study) one chapter of that book.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November2016

3.

4.

What jumped out at me when I read this chapter? (This question is to start the process of being in tune with the Holy Spirit. What jumps out at you may be a verse, the theme of the chapter or just one word.)

Why did this jump out at me? (This question is to get you and the Holy Spirit on the same page- If you are not sure why something jumped out at you, continue to ponder on it and pray about it until you get clarity.)

How is this insight from God’s word going to change the way I live my life? (This question is to move you from just reading God’s word, to actually living God’s word.)

What is your prayer for today because of this insight you have been given? (This question is to tap into the power of God so He can empower you to live this insight out in your daily life- We cannot do this on our own!)

Step 5 : Share the insight you have received.( Sometimes this insight is for you personally, but sometimes it is to speak truth into someone else’s life.)

Blessings to you as you read God’s word with purpose and begin to learn what it truly means to Live God’s Word everyday!

Nina Heck has been married to her husband Kim, for over 30 years. Their greatest joy is their family - Amber, Austin and his wife Rachel, and their grandchildren, Allie, Alek and Ellie. Because her passion is to share God’s word, she has been writing bible studies and devotionals for churches and magazines for the past twenty years. Nina was a Hairstylist and Salon owner by trade, but was able to retire after almost 34 years of friendship and service to her clients. God has blessed her at this time with the opportunity to keep her newest granddaughter and to have more time for her true calling - writing about and teaching God’s word in a way that will make it relevant and easy to understand. You can reach her at ninamiracles@gmail.com

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Thankful & Blessed

by Letty Lozano

T

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:1

his month we celebrate Thanksgiving, and all of the things we are grateful for seem to emanate during this time of the year. It is this time during which most of us spend time with our families and reflect on our loved ones who are no longer here.

One of my fondest and dearest memories when I was a little girl was when my sisters and I would go and stay at our grandmother’s house. We would pray with her before we would quarrel over whose turn it was to sleep right next to her. We would chime in all at once and in Spanish we would say “bless me bless me” in our cute little Spanish accents. One by one she would pray over us make the sign of the cross and kiss us on our forehead. I didn’t know at the time that so many years later I would carry these special times so close to my heart.

The manner in which she prayed, and the devotion she had to it every single night, is part of who I am today. In truth, I was not always that way in my early young adult years, but as I got older and had more life experiences under my belt, which means not only great times, but difficult times, tragedies, crises, and feelings of not wanting to go on with life anymore in which I went back to what worked for my grandmother and the things she taught me.

I tried to model that for my own children when they were growing up. I prayed with them when they were little before they headed off to school and each night before going to bed. They have witnessed that no matter where I have lived, I have always had a special prayer room or a closet that is devoted just for time spent with God. Well now that my children are young adults and experiencing situations in life that are out of their control, I do believe that they are finally “getting it”. My children now call me on a regular basis with their worries and concerns, about school, work, finances, and relationship issues and for advice about my grandbaby.

If anybody were to ask my children what suggestion I always give them, I’m pretty sure they would say that I always tell them, “ well, lets pray about it”. They realize now that the greatest act of love I can show them is to lift them and their troubles up in prayer.

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

My children know the joy it brings me that they believe in the power of prayer, the love God has for us, the importance of learning and practicing what is involved in surrendering to the will of God, and that giving is more rewarding than receiving.

I believe that when my children call me it brings them comfort knowing that my prayers never cease and it reiterates and reminds them of what they already know. That God is in complete control of our lives and by letting go we give Him the chance to work His perfect and divine outcome. It is best when we step aside and allow Him to do what He does best which is to fix things we can’t. It is by faith, trust and courage that bring a feeling of expectancy that help is on the way.

I want to thank my grandmother for always praying for me. I am probably still here because of her prayers. I want my children and grandchildren to know that I have and will always pray for them. One day maybe years down the road my grandchildren will know how much I prayed for them.

I have told my children that as their mother if there was one thing I would want them to learn from me it would be to pray about anything and everything, all the time. God is the answer to everything.

My little grandbaby is just 2 ½ years old. She talks, sings, and understands more than an average little girl her age. But none of that compares to the joy I felt when my son called me the other day and told me that she can now recite three prayers. I am so grateful and so full of joy, as she is off to a wonderful start. I want to be that kind of grandmother that my grandmother was to me.

Letty Lozano is a writer and author of her first Memoir, “Traveling Blind.” As a survivor of a loved ones suicide, her memoir was born out of the responses she received from readers of blog entries written during her painful journey from utter despair to a renewal of her faith and enjoyment of life. She believes only God the creator can provide the comfort, strength of mind, and encouragement required by survivors to travel blindly into the future full of confidence and renewed joy. www.lettylozano.com

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ouple weekends ago, the spouse and I decided to take a Sunday afternoon drive. Remember those? When my brother and I were kids, our dad would very often take us to ride on Sunday afternoon. Quite a feat for him, since he traveled during the week anyway, more driving was not on his agenda, but, that’s what we did ‘back then”.

Sundays were special days, we dressed up to go to church, and stayed dressed in our Sunday best for the rest of the day. Playing was out, it was, after all, Sunday, so, we could read a book, listen to the radio, or maybe the family would go visiting, greet visitors to our home, sit on the front porch, or if we were lucky, take in a picture show.

Based on what I’ve observed over the years, no one has a “Sunday best” anymore, and if they do, they don’t seem to want to wear it to church, and it has become like any other day, just another day of shopping the mall, “hangin” out, or taking in a fast food restaurant. Not that I’m criticizing, mind you, only taking note of how we have changed in our society. Anyway, back to our Sunday drive.

We live in a particularly lovely area of the state I think. a lot of rural farms around, and beautiful homes to admire along the way. We started out, driving slowly so as not to miss anything. First one driver after another ran up on our bumper, honked, shook their fist or worse yet, 2:55:48 PMmade obscene gestures to us. We’d pull over to allow them to pass, but, it didn’t seem to improve their mood any.

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Time was when the Sunday afternoon drive was a great time to be together as a family, converse with one another, and get to see some interesting sites along the way. Brother and I used to keep a tally of the tractors, the hay bales, the blue or red trucks, and the horses we’d pass along the way. Perhaps I’m being a pollyanna, but, I miss those times, the closeness of family, we just don’t seem to have that anymore in this country, and the Sunday afternoon drive has become obsolete.

Like corsets and wearing hats to church.

Well, the leisurely drive on a pretty weekend afternoon may have gone by the wayside, but, we thoroughly enjoyed it, Gave us a chance to reconnect with the countryside, gave us the opportunity to see the leaves as they slowly began to lose their summer green, and certainly made us slow down for the afternoon. We even stopped for ice cream!!!

If you are one of those folks on the merry go round of a busy life, too occupied to see the wonderful, beautiful world around you, I highly recommend a relaxing afternoon drive . . .Sunday or any day. We need more of that in this country, it’s good for the soul, gets you back to nature, and lets you appreciate all the fascinating things you might see along the way. You needn’t go far, just go ! This season of Thanksgiving is a great time to get out and see the world around you, and give thanks for it !!!

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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

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Jan McCanless is an award winning author of 13 books, a freelance columnist, and premier southern humorist. a retired teacher. She is grandmother to 9 cherubs and is a commissioned lay minister of the Lutheran faith.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

Make a Household Favorite More Healthy Many beloved dishes might be enjoyed more often if they were only a little healthier. Author and former personal chef Michelle Dudash was once asked by a client if the she could make a healthier version of chicken parmesan. The result of that request is the following recipe for “Skinny Chicken Parmesan with Spinach,” which Dudash ultimately included in her book, “Clean Eating For Busy Families” (Fair Winds). The recipe was a hit with Dudash’s client and will surely be a hit at home cooks’ dinner tables as well.

Skinny Chicken Parmesan with Spinach Makes 6 servings For the sauce: 2 2 1 1/4 1/4 2 2 1/2

teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil cloves garlic, sliced 28-ounce can whole tomatoes teaspoon dried basil teaspoon dried oregano pinches salt pinches freshly ground black pepper teaspoon honey

For the chicken: 3 2 1/2 1/4 1/4 1 1/2

2

4 1 3/4

6

tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese tablespoons whole-wheat flour teaspoon salt, divided teaspoon freshly ground black pepper teaspoon dried basil pounds chicken breast, cut into 6 pieces, pounded to 1/4 inch tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided cups baby spinach teaspoon lemon juice cup fresh mozzarella cheese, sliced into 6 medallions (or shredded) cups cooked whole-grain thin spaghetti tossed in 2 teaspoons olive oil

Preheat oven to 375 F and coat the bottom of a 9 x 13-inch pan with olive oil spray.

To make the sauce: Heat a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add oil and garlic and cook gently for 30 seconds. Do not brown.

With your hand, squeeze each tomato into the pan and add basil, oregano, salt, pepper, and honey. Reduce to medium heat and simmer for 20 minutes, lowering the heat as needed.

To make the chicken: Combine parmesan cheese, flour, salt, pepper, and basil in a medium dish and coach chicken with cheese mixture. Place a large skillet over medium heat and add 2 tablespoons of oil. When oil is shimmering, add chicken, rounded-side down, and cook until golden on one side, about 5 minutes. Arrange chicken in a baking pan. Pour remaining 2 teaspoons of oil into skillet and add spinach. Cook spinach for 1 to 2 minutes until wilted and swirl in lemon juice. Gently press spinach to release water and divide spinach on top of chicken. Spoon sauce around and over the chicken, place mozzarella on top, and sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon salt. Bake for 15 minutes until chicken is cooked through. Serve over spaghetti.

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2016

SAY HELLO TO THE QUALITY OF DUKE LIFEPOINT HEALTHCARE

Frye Regional Medical Center is now part of Duke LifePoint Healthcare. For the communities we serve that means nationally renowned clinical and quality guidance, but with a Hickory address.

As a Duke LifePoint hospital, we’re opening the door to bring newer technology and more doctors specializing in the types of care we need most, right here at home.

Welcome to wellness with more resources than ever before.

To learn more about our services and Duke LifePoint Healthcare, visit MyFryeRegional.com