Volume 6 - Issue 6 August 2010
Wo m a n â€™s M a g a z i n e
In This Issue:
~ Rich Mom Poor Mom ~ Living Life Between 0 & 5 ~ End of Summer Recipes ~ Shutterbuggerz Feature
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essage M by Judy Smith
My husband and I just finished working with a group of kids at our church. The finished work was a musical that we put on. What a blast we had. It didn’t always seem like a blast, but we both are sad that it is over. During the weeks of preparation; of children out of control, absentees, people not knowing their lines (I am talking about the adults here) and all the other things that can happen, well, I kept asking “What were we thinking?’. My husband didn’t have a good answer and just sort of gave me this look that spoke volumes….”This was your idea”. It started way back when we found out our granddaughter was going to be in this group of kids. We had worked with kids for years…when ours were small. Most of these kids were children that belonged to kids that we had worked with. We had even worked with most of our grandchildren at some time or the other, especially since most of them have been in “The Promise” at different stages of their lives. So it made sense. We had not been able to do anything with Emily and while we could still walk without a walker; this was the time. So we volunteered! Volunteer. What does that word mean. Well, I looked it up in the dictionary and the meaning that is given does not even begin to suggest all the things we got into. I wound up directing the play. my husband, who had retired from acting one hundred years ago, was forced out of retirement. Why? Because I was directing and I needed someone to fill a spot, so I volunteered him. Why else? He was great though and most people keep asking who was that motorcycle bum that showed up on stage? Back to “why” we volunteered. I reasoned that we needed to do something special with Emily; to make some memories. It turned out we really didn’t get as much “time” with her as I had hoped, once we got roped into much more than we intended. We were hoping that it would be something that she could look back on and remember that her Mammaw and Pappaw did this with her. I am not sure how many memories she might have, but let me tell you, we have a head full. The play came off great, not without it’s glitches, but it was great. To begin with, you can’t have a kids play that is not great….because it has all those adorable little kids in it. Why is it when kids mess up that it is just so darn cute? Then there are those kids that are just so talented that you see their future right before your eyes. We had quite a few of those! Plus you have the children that maybe don’t stand out in the parts as much but just win your heart. Yes the memories were made that will last a lifetime. Maybe not theirs but most definitely ours. We will never forget the hugs and the smiles and most of all we will never forget how, after it was over, that the kids did not want to leave and neither did we. We will never forget how they kept saying over and over how they wished we could do it again. Even one of the kids told me he was writing the sequel to it. How cute is that! We stepped out for selfish reasons and look what we got. We wanted to be with our granddaughter but we wound up with a lot of “adopted” grandkids that we didn’t even know. What a blessing it was. Will we do it again? Not in a million years….or until I come up with another lame brain idea….which ever comes first! Any bets? Shhh, husband dearest, you don’t get to bet.
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Message From The Heart..........................................................................................pg 3 Mandy’s Misadventures............................................................................................pg 7 Reaching Your Full Potential by Kim Fletcher.........................................................pg 8 Building Blocks by Casey Winebarger...................................................................pg 11 Rich Mom Poor Mom.............................................................................................pg 12 The Fly Lady: Are You On A Collision Course?.....................................................pg 15 Nicole Greer: A Sophisticated Woman Knows What She Really Wants................pg 16 The Male Box..........................................................................................................pg 20 Girlfriends In God...................................................................................................pg 23 Truth & Beauty by Teresa Pope...............................................................................pg 24 How To Grill Corn on the Cob................................................................................pg 25 The Front Porch.......................................................................................................pg 27 The Sophie Shopper.................................................................................................pg 28 Dinner Diva: The Best Potato Salad Ever................................................................pg 30 Living Life Between 0 & 5 by Angie Benge...........................................................pg 31 Shutterbuggerz Feature............................................................................................pg 32
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 7
s ’ y nd
I have a confession to make.
I may or may not have talked a certain four year old into being afraid of law enforcement officers. I know, I know it’s bad. Really bad. But it’s not without reason! Savannah got into the habit of taking off her seat belt whenever I wasn’t looking while we were driving. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it; she didn’t really care when I pulled the car over and threatened to take her favorite doll away. Nor would time outs solve the ever-increasing problem, since I started to have trouble even getting her to buckle her seat belt when she got in the car. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, she realized that along with her promotion to booster seat came certain freedoms. As in, she could move her torso around and sit so far up that even though I would warn her she would promptly say, “But Mama, I have my seat belt on!” and point exaggeratedly to said seat belt which was, in fact buckled. So I started scrambling for ideas to rectify the situation with. Bribery didn’t work, threats were hilarious instead of actually threatening. One day, however, I struck gold. I can’t remember the circumstances completely, but we saw someone get pulled over by a cop. Maybe it was the bright lights, the loud siren, or the man in a very intimidating uniform, but something bothered Savannah about the whole scenario. So, the next day, when we were out and about and Savannah was reaching for the buckle, I said, experimentally, “Savannah, you see that cop over there? You see him? I’m going to roll down this window and tell him that you don’t have a seat belt on.” Her eyes widened and she sat back instantly, hands in her lap. Oh, what luck! The next time she leaned up way too far in her car seat and started swinging her arms around my headrest to smack me in the face, I picked up my phone. “I’m calling the cops.” Her open palms never reached my cheeks. So I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised at her reaction when I got pulled over on a road trip this summer. We were on our way back to Mississippi from a friend’s wedding, and I’ll admit it, I was speeding. But Addison had been screaming for the past hour and a half because she was fed up with being in her car seat and I was desperate to get home. I was coming around a curve in Alabama, and I saw him. He was sitting there waiting for me, I just know it. Anyway, the lights flared on and I knew I was in trouble. Savannah immediately started freaking out. Luckily, I had shoved her dad back there with them earlier because I was getting car sick and so he was trying to keep the baby quiet while I drove, so he was able to keep her somewhat quiet as the officer approached my window. “You in a hurry?” he said. “Yes sir,” I admitted, “I have a baby who’s been screaming in the back
by Mandy Thomas
seat and I’m just trying to get home.” My back windows are tinted, so I had to roll down the window in order for him to see said baby. As soon as the window rolled below the door frame, Savannah, whose back was pressed up against her seat, looked him straight in the eye and said, “I’ve been sitting back this whole time!” He looked confused for a moment, so Savannah clarified by saying, “This. Whole. Time.” I don’t think think he got why she was telling him this, but bless his heart, he smiled at her before nodding at Chris, who was smashed in between the two children’s seats. “This man that baby you were telling me about?” he said. The one time I need Addison to cry she’s stock still in her seat, gnawing contentedly on her seat belt. To her credit, she did lean forward and peek at him for a minute, smiling. A few more small excuses later and the officer stood, nodding a bit and it seemed that I had gotten off easy. But then he seemed to be struck by an idea, and so he leaned back down and looked at Savannah. “You think I should give your mama a ticket?” he grinned. Savannah looked very, very serious for a minute before she made her answer. “Yep. She needs one.” Well, I guess I can’t say I didn’t deserve that, but thankfully he didn’t give me the ticket. And now I just have to start telling her that cops are our friends, or at least hers.
pg 8 / Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
Reaching Your Full Potential: Will You Have Coffee with Me? “At its core, coaching is the art and practice of guiding a person or group from where they are toward the greater competence and fulfillment that they desire.” Gary Collins, PhD
I have had the privilege as a Life Coach to guide countless individuals and groups toward their desired and unique vision. In order to work with individuals in multiple time zones, I often coach by phone. While this method is highly effective, I happen to enjoy every opportunity I get to connect with a client face to face. The request is always the same. “Will you meet with me at my favorite coffee shop?” As you can imagine, I have come to believe that there simply must be a connection between enjoying your favorite drink in a relaxing atmosphere while having the lights come on in your heart or mind around some area where you have been seeking a breakthrough. That is exactly why I wish it were possible for you and I to be sitting in your favorite coffee shop right now enjoying our own ‘coffee break’. I would love to know what area of life in which you would most like to see accelerated growth in the coming weeks. I am honored every time I get to meet with people just like you as they move toward their greater vision with clarity and passion. You see, at the heart of every great coach is the heart of a mentor. Actually, I believe that mentor lies within each of us. Whether active or dormant, that part of us exists to reach out to those who are coming alongside of us in this journey of life … ones who may need a bit of encouragement, wisdom or support to move from where they are to where they long to be. We all need someone who has walked the road of life slightly ahead of us to come alongside and allow us to gain from their experience. We can surround ourselves with self-help books, counseling tools, and teaching tips… but in the end, we desperately need trusted role models who will show us the way. The father of one of my current teenage clients recently shared this story. He attended church on Father’s Day and was impacted by an illustration used by the Pastor. The man giving the message had taken time to set up the stage to look like a forrest full of live bear traps (the traps were REAL!). He called the young people to the stage and blindfolded them. He then proceeded to explain how he was going to allow them to each take a turn at walking through the forrest, navigating the dangerous traps without the use of their vision. You can imagine the panic that swept over the room of onlookers? When there were no volunteers for going first, he called one of the teenager’s father to the stage. He then instructed the son to stand behind his dad at the beginning of the path, placing his hands firmly on his father’s shoulders. The father then let his clear vision lead he and his son safely through the thick forrest. My friend said there was not a dry eye in the room as this picture of a true and trusted mentor played out before their eyes. That mentor exists within each of us. First of all, ask yourself who you are willing to follow. Whose experience and wisdom should you rely on as
you move deeper into this journey of life? Then, take the question one step further as you turn and look over your own shoulder. Who is following in your footsteps? What choices can you make in your own life that will insure that the path you are leaving will make a great guide for those who look to you as mentor and trusted role model? I believe that everyone who seeks to Reach Their Full Potential should possess the heart of a mentor and will live the kind of life that others can follow with confidence. Ted Engstrom defines a mentor as ‘someone who is willing to commit time and emotional energy to a relationship that guides an understudy’s growth and development.’ Look around you and remember, “As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” Proverbs 27:17 (NLT) Kim Fletcher possesses the heart of a mentor and friend. She exercises this passion daily as she journeys with her coaching clients toward greater fulfillment and significance. She invites you to contact her today to learn more about how a coaching relationship might impact your life or the life of someone you love. She offers a FREE 20-30 minute phone consultation. Email or call today: firstname.lastname@example.org/ 828 327 6702. You can also submit the form found on the ‘Transformational Coaching’ page of her website: lifecompassinternational.org. For a FREE Speaking Proposal, submit the form found on the ‘Speaking’ page of this same website.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 9
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 11
BUILDING BLOCKS Laying a Solid Foundation for Your Business By: Casey Winebarger, Esq. We’ve all heard that small businesses are the backbone of America’s economy. According to the most recent numbers published by the Small Business Administration, there are over 818,000 small businesses in North Carolina, 38% of which are wholly or jointly owned by women.* Perhaps you have considered starting a small business of your own. As you know, business planning involves a significant investment of time and money. You must determine your product or service, perform market analysis, develop a marketing strategy, and obtain financing. During this process, you should also take time to consider the appropriate legal structure for your business. Whether you are a sole proprietor, partnership, corporation, or limited liability company, the form you choose will significantly impact taxation, the ongoing costs of doing business, and the liability risks to the owners. A sole proprietorship is the simplest form of business. From a legal perspective, the owner and the business are one and the same. All profits and losses flow through to the owner and are reported on the owner’s Form 1040. The ongoing costs of doing business are minimal, as there are no separate tax returns or business filings that need to be prepared. However, the owner of a sole proprietorship has unlimited personal liability for the business’s debts, meaning creditors can reach the owner’s personal assets. A general partnership is very similar to a sole proprietorship, except it involves two or more people. Although profits and losses also flow through to the owners, the partnership tax laws are complex, so it will be more costly for preparation of tax returns. In addition, the partners should have a Partnership Agreement that spells out, among other things, profit and loss sharing and management procedures. As with the sole proprietorship, the partners of a general partnership have unlimited personal liability for the debts of the business. This risk is somewhat magnified in a partnership, as each individual partner has the power to enter into business transactions that are binding upon the other partners. Corporations are the most complex and formal business structure. Unlike a sole proprietorship or partnership, a corporation is a separate legal entity from its owners. As a separate entity, the corporation itself is taxed on its profits. Then, when profits are distributed, they are again taxed to the owners as income. This double-taxation is a major disadvantage of the corporate form. Corporations must also comply with more formalities. To form a corporation, articles of incorporation are filed with the Secretary of State and shares of stock are issued. The corporation must also obtain shareholder and director approval for its actions and make annual business filings. These requirements translate into increased costs of doing business. In exchange for following the formalities, though, the owners of the corporation enjoy limited liability, meaning the most they stand to lose is the amount of their investment in the corporation. Furthermore, corporations may take certain tax deductions that proprietorships and partnerships cannot. Finally, a limited liability company, or LLC, is a hybrid of the proprietorship and the corporation. Like a proprietorship, the LLC can be a flowthrough entity for tax purposes, meaning profits are taxed only once at the owner level. Like a corporation, the LLC is a separate legal entity that provides limited liability to its owners. Similarly, the LLC must comply with certain formalities, such as filing articles of organization at formation and annual reports each year, and obtaining member consent for company actions. In addition, for LLCs with two or more members, an Operating Agreement should be used to dictate the terms of how decisions are made and how profits and losses are shared. All of this increases the cost of doing business as an LLC. In addition to the four basic structures just discussed, there are several other options for your business structure, including an S-Corporation,
limited partnership, or non-profit organization. However, there is no “onesize-fits-all” structure. The right choice depends on the desires and goals of each specific owner. For one concerned about control and taxes, an LLC or sole proprietorship might be an ideal choice, while a corporation might be right for the owner who is concerned about liability and the ease of raising capital. If you are planning to start your own business, a knowledgeable attorney and CPA can help you to determine the right structure. You should consider not only your current goals, but also your visions for future growth in the next five to ten years. Although business structures can be changed, making the right choice now will create a solid foundation for your venture, saving time, money, and headaches down the road. DISCLAIMER: The content of this article is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute legal advice. You should not rely solely on the information herein to make legal decisions. You should consult an attorney for specific advice tailored to your unique situation.
*Source: SBA Office of Advocacy, 2009 North Carolina Small Business Profile Casey Winebarger is an attorney at Patrick, Harper & Dixon, LLP in Hickory, North Carolina. She practices primarily in the areas of estate planning, elder law, and business and corporate law. Casey may be contacted at 828-322-7741 or via email at email@example.com. Patrick, Harper & Dixon is Hickory’s oldest and largest full-service law firm.
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pg 12/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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We inherit many things from our mothers. Moms are our first source of nourishment, love, and security, and she’s also a role model for many of the values and beliefs that shape our lives. Knowingly or not, Moms influence their children’s feelings about money, abundance, and prosperity—their sense of whether the glass of life is half-empty or half-full. What can a mother to do to give her kids a healthy, happy relationship with money? First, it helps to get back in touch with your own early memories of how you learned about money yourself. What money issues did you experience growing up? If you spent any time shopping with Mom, you probably know whether she was a hoarder, an avoider, or a splurger. Mom the hoarder was always worried about money and felt certain that there would never be enough to keep the wolves from the door. Whenever you asked for something, Mom couldn’t afford it—period. Mom the avoider didn’t want to think about money or talk about money matters. Maybe she felt it was beneath her or maybe she was just plain afraid of the whole subject. What about Mom the splurger? You might have enjoyed her willingness to buy anything and everything—until Dad got home and took a look at the bills! Once you understand the money feelings that affected your childhood, you can make a fresh start in helping your own kids develop confident and comfortable money sense. It’s often said that a mother is her child’s best teacher. And the best teachers learn along with their students. Helping your kids learn to use money wisely can be educational and empowering for you, too. Here are some ideas: 1. Give kids a sense of well-being and a hopeful outlook. There’s plenty for everyone. Don’t worry, be happy. Be a grateful Mom who teaches appreciation for life’s abundant blessings. 2. Talk openly and honestly with your kids about money. Financial matters are part of the business of life that everyone can learn about and practice with confidence. There’s nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about.
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3. Show kids that managing money is about making plans and making choices. To get what you really want and value, you often have to wait and save before you can spend. Every Mom can be a Rich Mom when it comes to giving her kids a money legacy to grow and thrive on. Prosperity, after all, begins at home! Reprinted with permission from the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org and MoneyClubs.com). Founded in 1988, WIFE is a non-profit organization dedicated to providing financial education for women. Copyright 2010
sophiewomansmagazine.com / July Aug 2010 / pg 13
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pg 14/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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Procrastination has been a way of life for most of us. When we think a job is going to take longer than we have time for then we put it off. That is our perfectionism. We have been taught since the day we were born that if we can’t do something right don’t do it at all! We listened! We may not have heard much else that was said but that stuck in our minds. Coupled with the pain of having to redo things over and over again when they were not up to the perfectionist standards; we just gave up before we ever got started. A lot of times we don’t know where to start. This is the perfectionism monster again. The perfect place to begin! When we can let go of perfectionism; we can stop going down the path of procrastination. I give you a place! Go shine your sink. It is a simple action that starts you in a direction toward peace. This is our very first habit! Keeping your sink clean and shiny is all you have to do. That shiny sink puts a smile on your face each morning. It is the only thing you have to do. With this one habit you are being kind to yourself. You are not piling on with a huge list. As this one habit becomes automatic you can add another habit. Slow and steady relieves the guilt. This is being patient with yourself. You don’t have to be perfect! You just have to do something instead of wring your hands and say I don’t have time. When you hear those words come out of your mouth, set your timer and do two minutes. You will be so surprised at what you can accomplish in those short two minutes. Don’t allow your perfectionism to push you too hard or keep you from starting. We have all heard the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare procrastinated. He played and put things off because he felt like he had plenty of time to beat that slow tortoise. In the end he lost the race. Just imagine his stress level when he looked around and saw the tortoise winning. All of a sudden he got in a hurry! What happens when you get in a hurry! Procrastination places guilt on our heads. We don’t do well when well with this guilt and the stress that comes from waiting till the last minute. This stress is pushing our adrenaline buttons to put us into overdrive. So instead of taking your time and doing what you can, when you can; you are speeding down the highway to a head on collision! Your adrenaline super fuel is what causes you to crash and burn! That “flash in the pan” burns out your engine and disables your thinking ability. You become the victim of your own procrastination. Please stop procrastinating! If you will only take BabySteps your journey will be slow and steady. Your home did not get dirty in a day and it will not get clean overnight! BabySteps will help you find the peace you are searching for. Progress not Perfection! For more help getting rid of your CHAOS; check out her website and join her free life coaching at www.FlyLady.net , listen to her channel http://www.blogtalkradio.com /flylady show or read her books, Sink Reflections published by Bantam and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Fireside. Copyright 2009 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 15
Are You On A
by The FlyLady Marla Cilley
A Sophisticated Woman
pg 16 / Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Knows What She Really Wants
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
Why do I do what I do when I know what I want? Read it again. It says… Why do I do what I do when I know WHAT I WANT? It does not say… Why do I do what I do when I know what I know? We are very clear on what we know. Our degrees, certificates and pedigrees are hard won. Countless hours are invested in the letters we proudly display after our name. Resumes document where we’ve been, clarify our experience, and celebrate our talent. Out of our history, we develop beliefs, patterns, and structures that can serve us if they don’t become limiting beliefs, ruts, and the proverbial box. The moment knowledge gets in the way of vision; we lose the ability to know what we want. So, what do you want? Can you answer this question? Easily? Clearly? Passionately? Experience tells me that people really struggle with this question. People do not know what they want. This is extremely unfortunate. How can you live a vibrant life when you don’t know what brings you to life? There are 5 things that you know that are holding you back from being able to get what you want. • You know that others have failed at attaining what you want. True, but the reality for you is that you just may have the right combination of talent, timing, and will to reach your goal. You simply have to try. • You know that getting what you really want is going to be hard. True, but hard work is always the path for getting something worthwhile. If it wasn’t hard work to achieve the “want”, it would lose it’s power to entice you and it simply becomes a “given”. Getting what you want will take discipline. • You know that you’ll have to change to get what you want. True, but change is the creative tension necessary to move you toward your goals. Lose a bad habit and replace it with a habit that serves your “want”. • You know that what you really want will affect the people in your life. True, but the people in your life will celebrate your ability to be amazing. If the people around you really love you, they clearly see your potential. In fact, they are in love with your potential. Think about a time you held a baby. You thought to yourself. “It is so beautiful. Perfect. This child can be anything it wants to be.” We fall in love with the promise of the future. Fall in love with yourself. Not in a selfish way, but in a really healthy way. A healthy self-love nurtures your talents, gifts, and possibilities to a whole new level so you can serve the world with the highest form of you. The people around you will benefit immensely. We love to be surrounded by people living out their greatness. Getting a vision for your life, articulating it and living it out is inspiring, mesmerizing, and gives others hope.
• You know that what you really want will require a serious look at where you are today, which reveals the reality that you need some serious resources. True, but taking stock of where you are today is the best insurance to secure your tomorrow. I am part of WeWin, Women Empowering Women in Networking (www.wewinusa.com). This is a powerful group of women entrepreneurs who know that they don’t know all they need to know! We gather together twice a month to share our know-how and clearly articulate what we WANT for our business, personal lives, and our future. When I tell this group of women what I want and tell them my current status, they immediately champion my dreams. They share resources, connect me with the right people, and tell me “Nicole, I see it. You can do it!” You need the support of like-minded individuals who are clear about what they want and are willing to help you get what you want. Now you know what to do to get what you really want. Move from knowledge to wisdom. Discern what you really want. Take a look at where you are right now. Then take the next right step. “Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.” -David Starr Jordan
Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and business coach. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach. com/www.thelydiagroup.com
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pg 18 / Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 19
My photographs are stuck together! How do I get them apart?
Photographs become stuck together due to moisture forming on the emulsion layer. When exposed to moisture this emulsion layer becomes tacky, and once allowed to dry the photographs will adhere themselves to each other. To separate the photographs, I would first recommend that no attempt be made to peel the photographs apart. Rather, I would recommend soaking the photographs in (specifically) cold, distilled water for a short period of time (five minutes or so) to allow moisture to be re-introduced to the emulsion. After the photographs have been soaking for several minutes you may attempt to separate them, first by testing one of the edges to see if they peel apart freely. If they do not peel apart easily, continue to soak the photographs and check on them periodically, performing the same peel test on the edge. I would recommend that care be taken during this procedure, that gloves be worn, and that the photographs be handled by the edges only. Once the photographs have been separated from each other, they should be laid on a flat and dry surface in a temperate environment and allowed to dry completely before being further handled.
While the coals are still burning, throw a few bananas on the grill for this tasty after-dinner treat. Overview Grill Time: 10 min Serves: 4 Ingredients 4 Bananas, unpeeled Assorted favorite dessert toppings Directions 1. Place unpeeled bananas on grill over medium high heat. 2. Grill 4 to 5 minutes on each side until bananas blacken and slightly soften. 3. Serve warm or chilled with your favorite toppings such as fresh fruit, chopped nuts, miniature marshmallows, chocolate bits, caramel or frozen yogurt.
Sammy Cortino To Set World Record Houdini Fashion
In a lightning-fast attempt to set a world record at his public press conference held on August 6, 2:00PM at Hickory City Hall, Magic’s Royal Duke Sammy Cortino will execute his challenge, “Synthesis”, an unprecedented fusion of Harry Houdini’s early sleight of hand work presented in the style of the mystifying stunts that later brought the illusionist international notoriety. In this challenge, Sammy will set the world record for magically producing (manipulating) the most playing cards in 90 seconds: 300, which is 6 decks of standard playing cards stacked at 4.5”. To increase the difficulty, the illusionist will be blindfolded and manipulate the cards with both hands. In Cortino’s research, there is no record of any illusionist in history with his sleight of hand skill of manipulating cards with both hands using the technique employed for the stunt. The record attempt will take place at the Julian G. Whitener Municipal Building (City Hall) in downtown Hickory, NC August 6 at 2:00PM. At present, Sammy has trained over 60 hours for this 90-second attempt. “This is the most difficult routine I’ve ever produced in my almost 20 years in magic. This 90-second stunt is so condensed, it’s as challenging to rehearse as my 90-minute grand illusion show.” Cortino says, “Houdini started performing sleight of hand as the ‘King of Cards’, before focusing on escapes. Taking Houdini’s card manipulations and presenting it as a challenge like his later work fuses the ends of his career into one presentation.” Officiating the attempt will be Hickory Mayor Rudy Wright. The event will be streamed live on Cortino’s Facebook Page so fans worldwide can be part of this historic magic event. To see the record attempt’s stream channel, visit the Official Sammy Sammy Cortino Cortino Website: SammyCortino.com Sammy Cortino’s “Synthesis”: Friday, August 6. 2:00PM. Doors open 1:30PM. Julian G. Whitener Municipal Building (City Hall) Lobby. 76 N. Center Street, Hickory, NC 28601.
pg 20 / Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
MALE BOX by Wayne DeLoriea
How interesting that August has no celebrated holidays. January has Martin Luther King Day February has Valentine’s Day March has St. Patrick’s Day April has Easter May has Mother’s Day AND Memorial Day June has Father’s Day July has Independence Day August is the proverbial red headed step child September has Labor Day October has Halloween November has Thanksgiving and December has Christmas… POOR AUGUST!
Well, no more…let’s decide right here and now that August is as special as any other month and deserves the same attention as the rest. I move that we make August “Buy your wife flowers and take her out … just because you are happy she stays with you” month. I mean, come on guys…they actually stay with us and they know us better than anyone else does. I keep telling my wife that I hope she never takes off those rose colored glasses that she sees me through. If we want them to keep those glasses on we NEED to do a lot of hand holding and keep their hands busy receiving hugs and flowers. I mean, come on… if your wife is anything like mine, she’s deserving of all your admiration and respect. Why wouldn’t you want her to know it? Why wouldn’t you want to show it? The Bible says that God created man and named him Adam. Then from Adam he made Eve. “So, God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; both male and female created he them.” As God looked around, God saw that everything was, “Good.” As a single dad raising three
great kids, I found it important to teach them the lessons that both mom’s and dad’s are responsible for. I told my children this little story and while I made it up…it’s NOT in the Bible…if you read between the lines… you’ll see what I do. I am going to quote the Bible for a minute to make my point…come with me. “And God saw every thing that he made, and , behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day. Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the hosts of them. And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made: and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.” Now, let’s walk between the lines…usually not advised when reading the Bible but again, I am making this part up… God created the chaos and gave it order, water and land, night and day and filled the earth with all sorts of plants and animals and then he created man and well, while it was GOOD…it just wasn’t DONE. It was so incomplete that he couldn’t rest…creation nagged at him because something was missing…not COMPLETE…until he created woman. Woman, the final creation…is the jewel in the crown of creation. God felt so good about having created woman…saving the best for last, that he could put it away for a bit, to go rest. Read it again…God is proud of his work. I tried to teach my kids what it is to be in a healthy and loving relationship and I hoped that the parable I made up about God when he created the world taught my daughter what to look for in a man and my boys how they should prepare to see women. Guys it’s our job not just to protect and provide but to nurture and grow them into the women that God wants them to be. We do that by loving them and giving them the room they need to grow in God. Believe me, if you’ll do that…she’ll love you so hard that you’ll have all that YOU need out of the relationship. Tenderness and Praise are the things that shine and water their flowers. So, while we need to give them store bought flowers we also need to grow their inner flowers…show the little girl within that she is safe, adored and that she has value. Validate her and try to understand her. August is the month that we guys get all we want…by taking care of business in our relationships. Give them what they need and you’ll get what you want. So, do I hear a second to my motion? GREAT!!! August is now one of the most important months of the year. It’s “Buy your wife flowers and take her out … just because you’re happy she stays with you” month.
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 21
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pg 22/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 23
I Want Her Gift by Mary Southerland
1 Corinthians 12:4 “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit.”
Friend To Friend
We get into trouble when we try to serve God with the gifts we want instead of the gifts we actually have. By the time I was in high school, I just knew I was going to marry a minister. I had to get ready if I was going to be a pastor’s wife because it is a widely known fact that the wife of a pastor has to be able to do certain things - one of which is sewing. As a high school junior, I decided it was time to take Homemaking 101. I can still see Mrs. Johnson’s face as she naively gazed at her new students. Bless her unsuspecting heart! She had no idea the challenge I brought to that class and to her career as a teacher. For weeks, I muddled through each lesson with a respectable but less than stellar performance, until we hit the section on sewing. It would prove to be her undoing where I was concerned. Being the veteran teacher that she was, Mrs. Johnson took a deep breath and doggedly plunged ahead in determination, vowing she could teach anyone to sew - even me. I decided to make a blouse and chose what I thought was a simple and easy McCall’s pattern. Mrs. Johnson was thrilled with my selection, competent that even I could make a blouse requiring approximately seven straight seams. The pattern looked so simple and even pretty in the package. Then I opened it, gingerly unfolding and carefully arranging each delicate pattern piece, staring at the foreign documents before me. They were simply beyond human comprehension. I concluded that the pattern was actually a sinister trap of some accomplished but sadistic seamstress and quickly stuffed the flimsy entrapments back into their package. After all, I was creative! I didn’t need a pattern! I knew exactly what I wanted to make. How hard could it possibly be? Ignorance really can be bliss. When I presented the completed blouse to Mrs. Johnson for a grade, her eyes widened as she silently stared at my first and last attempt at sewing. “Interesting,” she muttered, obviously in shock. I made a “C” in her class, a sympathy grade if there ever was one. And the blouse? I buried it in my back yard - literally. Since that day, I always make sure I have at least one friend who can sew and the name of two seamstresses on hand at all times. However, in all my years as Dan’s wife, I can truthfully say that my inability to sew has never hindered God’s work in my life or my calling as the wife of a pastor. Another line of thinking proposes that because I am a pastor’s wife, I should drag out my silver (if I had any) and host dinners and teas for the women of the church. (Please know that those of you who actually enjoy these tortuous events have my undying admiration and respect.) In our first full-time church, I actually gave it a shot by inviting the entire church to our home for a Christmas open house. Since there were several hundred church members at the time, I concluded it would take three nights to accommodate them all. Looking back, my only defense is a complete loss of sanity. My family hated the month before the first open house. They had good reason. I put them all to work, cleaning and scrubbing every square inch of the house. I bought and hoarded food, threatening anyone who even thought about infiltrating my “stash.” I even managed to destroy Thanksgiving week-end by insisting that we decorate, inside and out, for Christmas, not in anticipation of celebrating Christ’s birth, but in preparation for the “open houses” to be held the following weekend.
For three years, I tried to be the “hostess with the most-ess” until my husband put a stop to the madness by asking one simple question, “Honey, why are you doing these open houses? You obviously don’t enjoy them very much.” The answer that popped into my mind and out of my mouth was absurd. “Because that’s what pastor’s wives do!” I feebly responded. “Where does it say that, honey?” he asked. I had no answer to that question. Dan went on to set me free. “We have done our last open house. Please don’t ever do anything else because you think it fits the man-made profile of a pastor’s wife. Do what God has gifted and called you to do - period - and never apologize to anyone for doing so.” I do not have the gift of hospitality, but in every church we have ever served, there have been amazing women who do and delight in using that gift for Him. What about you? Are you embracing the “you” God intended you to be or are you trying to be the woman you and others think you should be? Friend, you are uniquely gifted by God to serve God. Celebrate His perfect plan for your life!
Father, I am so tired of trying to please others. I want to please You. Today, I ask You to help me discover the gifts You have given me and then show me how to use them to serve You and minister to others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
I encourage you to set aside time this week to pray and seek God’s plan for your life. Read and claim Jeremiah 29:11. Ask family and friends to identify the abilities and talents they see in you. Are you serving God through those strengths? If not, how and where can you begin to do so? Identify your weaknesses. Read 2 Corinthians 12:9. What part do your weaknesses play in God’s plan for your life? Don’t waste another minute of your life wanting the gifts you think you should have. Lay every plan at Gods’ feet and ask Him to pick up and empower what is of Him, and let fall away what is not in His plan for you. Celebrate who you are in Christ!
Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 725 Matthews, NC 28106 firstname.lastname@example.org www.girlfriendsingod.com
pg 24/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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by Teresa Pope, Esthetician
Question: Every time I go in to get a Botox or Restylane injection, I get a horrible bruise. Is the person giving me the injections, not doing it right? Is there anything I can do to stop the bruising? Answer: I assume the person giving you your injections is a licensed professional. This could be a plastic surgeon, nurse, or physician’s assistant. It definitely should not be done by anyone who is not licensed. Be sure to investigate anyone who will be injecting these substances into your face. If done incorrectly, it could, not only wreak havoc on your appearance, but could potentially put your health at risk. But in the right hands, it can offer you a substantial decrease in lines and wrinkles, plumping up places where you have lost volume, making you look much younger. If the person doing your injections is fully trained than take comfort in knowing that bruising is completely normal. The area that you are receiving your injection also has a lot to do with the amount of bruising. For instance, the lips are very vascular. Any injection in that area is most likely going to bruise. The under eye area, also will bruise significantly. However, follow these few simple tips and it will help to prevent bruises from forming, or will help them go away faster. 1. Again, make sure you have selected a facial plastic surgeon, nurse, or physician assistant, who is skilled in injectables, such as, Restylane, Juvederm and Botox. 2. Avoid all blood thinners, such as, aspirin, Motrin and Advil for two weeks prior to getting your injections. (and if you take a prescribed blood thinner such as Plavix, expect a great deal of bruising and be sure the person giving you your injections, knows about all your medications) 3. You should have ice applied to the area before you are given your injection. This shrink the blood vessels and will hinder the bruising effect. 4. Eat some pineapple, it contains an anti-bruising enzyme. You can also pick up a bottle of Bromelain at your local health food or vitamin store, it will have the same effect. It is also great for your digestive system. Usually around 500mg will be sufficient. 5. After the injection, use ice on and off for about 24 hours, use Arnica gel directly on the bruised area, it will help it to fade faster and will also help with any pain or soreness you may have, Vitamin K will also help to fade the bruise faster.
Please submit questions to Teresa Pope @ Alabaster Healing 20021 1st. Ave. NW Hickory, NC 28601 828-322-8380
How to Grill Corn on the Cob
by Becki Andrus (printed with permission)
There are few things more delicious than corn on the cob. Grilled corn on the cob makes for a scrumptious addition to any barbeque and by following the instructions below, your corn on the cob is certain to turn our perfect. There are two ways of grilling corn on the cob: either with the husk or without the husk but in aluminium foil. In this article to I am going to explain both methods. Corn on the Cob Grilled in Aluminium Foil * First you will need to pull all the husks off the corn, remove the silk from the corn as well. * Now you have a choice of either soaking or not soaking your corn. Some people swear by it and others don’t like it quite as much. Should you decide on soaking your corn you will need to soak the corn for at least 20 minutes in a pot of cold water. Make sure that the ears are completely covered when soaking your corn. * After soaking, tear off square pieces of aluminium foil and place each ear diagonally across each square. * Lightly brush the kernels on each ear of corn with olive oil. * You can add a little garlic, black pepper, chopped onion and salt according to taste to each ear of corn. * Wrap the ears with the aluminium foil. * Heat the grill to about 350 degrees Fahrenheit and place the corn onto the grill. * Turn the corn regularly to prevent it from charring too much on one side
Terry Moore Ford Country
sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 25
for the first couple of minutes. * After a couple of turns place the corn on the side of the grill away from direct heat, close the top and leave there for about 15 to 20 minutes. * The corn is done when the kernels are soft to the touch. * Using oven mitts, remove the corn from the grill. * Remove the aluminium foil and serve with butter. Corn on the Cob Grilled in the Husk * If you happen to have ears of corn with many layers of husk, remove the first couple of layers by peeling them off leaving enough layers on for protection. * Soak the cobs in a pot of cold water for 15 to 20 minutes making sure that the ears are completely under the water. By soaking the cobs you will provide extra moisture to the corn when grilling and the moisture will steam the kernels. * After 20 minutes remove the corn from the water. * Pull the husks off the corn but be sure not to completely remove them. * Pull off the silk from the corn and lightly brush the kernels of each cob with olive oil. * Add some herbs, salt and spices to the corn if you desire. * Re-wrap the corn in the husks and lightly tie the ears with some of the husk you have taken off or some string. * Heat the grill to about 350 degrees Fahrenheit and place the ears on the grill rotating regularly for the first couple of minutes. * Move the ears to the side of the grill away from direct heat and cook for about 20 minutes. * You will want to have a spray bottle on hand filled with water, use the bottle to keep the corn husks moist and prevent them from catching on fire. * Your corn is ready when the husk darkens and the kernels at the tip of the ear start pulling away. * Using oven mitts remove the ears from the grill. Grabbing hold of one end of the ear, peel the husk off and enjoy your grilled corn on the cob.
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t n o r F Porch The
by Judy Smith
I am really questioning why I call this article the “Front Porch” when I haven’t sat on the porch in quite awhile. How hot has our summer been? You have heard the jokes about hot weather…the ones like ... The farmers must feed their cows ice cubes, so they don’t give powdered milk or The farmers feed their chickens ice chips, so they don’t lay hard boiled eggs. Maybe it has not been to that extent, but I did see where someone actually did fry an egg on the pavement and you have to admit that is hot. It would not be so bad if the phrase “I’m melting” was actually true and some of the pounds would actually melt away. Even the swimming pool is like a warm bath and what fun is that? But I do miss sitting on my porch. That is where I do a lot of good thinking and if I can’t sit on my porch, then I don’t do no good thinkin! Was that too many negatives in one sentence and why is spell check questioning whether I know how to spell thinkin or not? Oh no, maybe my mind IS fried. They always tell me that it is “mind over body” and I say “bologna”. I have tried to picture myself being on a ship out in the middle of the ocean, the cool breeze blowing in my face only to realize I am standing in a pool of sweat. Even in all this heat, we still have to keep working. I had to clean some cabinets at the office and I was trying to use steam to clean when I realized most of the steam was coming from me instead of the machine I was using. My glasses were fogging up faster than I could wipe them dry much less wipe a cabinet dry. We should not complain. I am not complaining…I am just telling a fact about how hot it is. If you thought I was complaining…well, you probably just read it wrong or maybe you are overheated and not thinking straight. We really can’t complain though when we put it in perspective. Sometimes I have to stop and think about my little inconveniences and ask myself what is so bad? Then I have to ask myself who is suffering more? When I do that, I am always put in my place. How can we complain about the heat when we think about our soldiers? Somewhere I read that the average weight of just the apparel that a soldier has on their person is 45.9 pounds and that is without any extras to carry. In Iraq, the heat can reach 120 degrees and just imagine carrying the weight of the gear our troops must carry while running, walking, fighting, etc in the heat. There’s no convenience store to grab a slushy ice drink. In fact, many have no facilities for even taking a cool shower. They have water to drink, but no comfort against the heat. Just that thought alone makes me ashamed of how I complain about being so hot. One subject we can always talk about around the water cooler is the weather. My hope is that we remember we have a water cooler to begin with…one that has cool water. Maybe the next time you or I decide to have a snow cone, let’s think how blessed we are. So in the meantime, while we are waiting on cooler weather, here is something for you to pass along. When someone asks you how hot it is you can tell them it is so hot that the trees are whistling for the dogs.
sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 27
The Sophie Shopper
pg 28 / Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 29
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pg 30/ Aug 2010 / Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Best Ever Potato Salad (with or without mayo) By Leanne Ely CNC
Nothing wows a potluck or picnic better than a big vat of homemade potato salad. And considering right now is the best time for fresh potatoes (I had some absolutely delicious red potatoes in my CSA basket this past week!), I thought we?d pull out the potato peelers and get busy.
The Dinner Diva
So next time you?re invited to a potuck or picnic, don?t panic, you already know what to do. Bring the go-to dish that always gets eaten fast. Take your BEST homemade potato salad (with or without mayo; enjoy these recipes!) Mayo Potato Salad Serves 6 • • • • • • • • •
3 pounds white potatoes, boiled, peeled, cut to bite sized 4 hard boiled eggs, chopped 6 tablespoons mayonnaise 2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish 2 tablespoons yellow mustard 1/4 teaspoon sea salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon paprika 1 bunch parsley, chopped
Boil washed potatoes with skin on in salted water until done, yet firm. Then cool. You can boil them the night before, then put in the fridge to combine later. Boil eggs by covering with water, bring to a boil for one minute, cover, turn off heat and let sit for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes cool down eggs more with cold water. Can boil the day before and put in the fridge to combine later. Slice cooled cooked, peeled potatoes into bite sized chunks place in a large mixing or salad bowl with a lid. Chop boiled eggs and throw on top of chopped potatoes. Add mayonnaise, mustard, relish, salt and pepper to taste. Mix and combine well but do not allow potatoes to mash up. Refrigerate until ready to serve. At time of service give a quick stir, then top with a sprinkle of paprika and fresh parsley. No Mayo Potato Salad Serves 6 • • • • • • • • • • • •
2 pounds new potatoes, boiled, sliced bite sized 3 hard boiled eggs, sliced in circles 1 large red onion, sliced in rings 5 Spanish green olives, sliced 2 tablespoons dill, chopped 4 green onions, chopped finely 8 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil 1 tablespoon wine vinegar 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1/4 teaspoon sea salt 1/4 teaspoon black pepper 1 teaspoon thyme
Combine wine, mustard, dill, vinegar, salt, pepper, and thyme in food processor. With motor running slowly add in oil. In large bowl, combine potatoes the mix in dressing adding the eggs, olives and onions last. Serve cold.
Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www.savingdinner.com
sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 31
Living Life Between 0 & 5 by Amber Benge When I was about 18, I went through a fight with bulimia and the struggle has followed me since then. My weight has gone up and down, but mostly just up as fertility treatments and hormone replacement has caused my body to go nuts. I found a great doctor who finally got things straightened out with my hormones and the weight has started to come off again, but it’s not easy. I recently pulled out the workbook I did back when I was 18 to help me keep my mind in the right place with all of it. It’s a Christian based weight “control” program called “Thin Within”. The foundational principle of Thin Within is that you live life between a 0 and 5. Let me explain. When you are totally hungry and have that gnawing, completely empty feeling in your stomach, you are at a 0. When you hit a 5, you aren’t full. But at a 5, you aren’t hungry any more either. You are just comfortable. If you go beyond a 5 and keep eating, you can end up at a 10 which is the top of the scale. When you are a 10, you have that stuffed to sickness, can’t breathe, need a nap, after-Thanksgiving kind of feeling. Thin Within teaches that you need to stay between a 0 and 5 at all times to lose weight. You don’t eat until you are at a 0 and you stop when you are at a 5. It’s as simple as that. You learn moderation by following your body’s signals. If you eat from a 5 to a 10, you are going to gain weight. You will end up with a sick stomach and a larger waist line as a result of your binge fest.
The principles of living between 0 and 5 also apply to the rest of our lives. I’m learning that I need to reject the lifestyle of gorged abundance that we have so readily in America. The dozens of shoes and purses, the big screen television, the clothes I never wear, the clothes I only wear occasionally that someone else might need… these are all areas of my life where I am living beyond a 5. These are more than I need and frankly, I feel like they are weighing me down. I have an overwhelming urge to simplify my life. I don’t want to leave the 0 to 5 principle in my eating habits only. I want to start applying it to the rest of my life. I want to stop using food and things to fill me beyond my basic needs. When I make it a habit to fill up on these things, I am substituting them for Christ and His role in my life. When I choose to stop gorging myself on all the pleasures we have here in America, I can let the Lord fill me so that I can be used by Him. Today, I am making a commitment to life between 0 and 5. We’ll see what that looks like in the coming months, but I want to invite you to join me. Will you take the plunge today? - Amber Benge is a pastor’s wife, mother of two small miracles, and a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ. You can find her speaking schedule by visiting Strivingfor31.com.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
One Smile At A Time! Actual patients of Dr. Garlitz Evan, Elise, & Erik Denzer “All three of my children have worn braces. I am familiar with traditional treatment and the treatment with the SureSmile technology. (One completed with traditional treatment, once completed with SureSmile & Elisa is currently in braces using the SureSmile Technology.) The traditional treatment required a lot of visits and treatment took longer. SureSmile technology has greatly reduced the number of visits as well as the overall treatment time. Great benefit for working mom when the kids don’t drive!” ~Ann Denzer
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Visit www.SureSmile.com for more information.
Photo Submitted by Jennifer Harris
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.” how this works
Each month our readers are going to submit photos to us via our web site or email. During that month, visitors to our web site at shutterbuggerz.com will vote on their favorite photo(s). Each month, the winning photographer (professional and amateur) will receive a prize.
Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:
Please read the submission guidelines and disclaimers on our web site at shutterbuggerz.com.
Photos Submitted By: 1. Dawn Wilson 2. Forever Memories Photography 3. Leslie Taylor 4. TKL Photography 5. Amber Smith 6. Sonya Hines Photography 7. Vanna Abernathy 8. Amber Griffin 9.Bobbie Ayers
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 35
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 39
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 43
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sophiewomansmagazine.com / Aug 2010 / pg 47
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