Sophie Woman's Magazine - Oct 2015 Issue

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 8 / OCT 2015

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Are you ready to wake up? | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Are you able to think and grow rich? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are you feeding your soul? | Page 28

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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essage M

Heart from the

O

ver and over again, I am amazed about the little things God does. Perhaps you are a person who goes around and says “Show me a miracle, God” or maybe you are a person who claims not to believe in God at all. I don’t even know if I believe the latter part of that statement is even possible, but I hear that.

You might say that it is all a delusion or just a sweet story, but I see Him everywhere….or should I say, when I am willing to look.

God forgive me, there are times I am living in the moment with whatever is going on around me and I miss Him.

Sara is a very sweet friend of mine. For the last couple of years, she made the decision that instead of buying birthday cards she was going to buy and give books. I think that is just a fabulous idea but you might be thinking what has that got to do with what I started with? Since I have been on the receiving end of this wonderful idea for a couple of years now, I am literally blown away at how she just chooses the most PERFECT book for me.

She does give me books other times than just my birthday, but always, just at the right time!

That is one of those little God things that thrills my soul. Sara gave me a book written by Andy Andrews called Mastering the Seven Decisions. Have you ever been beaten down to nothing and feel like no matter what, it’s just not worth it? There have been a few times in my life that I was close to that.

You see, I did not grow up knowing about God. We didn’t have a Bible in our house, didn’t go to church, and didn’t go to Bible School. My parents must not have known about Him either except that it was part of a curse word. Even as a child, I used to cringe at that word…..still do.

So how can I be amazed at the little things……because I was one of the miracles. God created me, He gave me a soul and He

From The Editor: Judy Smith

gave me a yearning for something better than this world offers.

Then He sought me out. He called my name. He told me if I would accept Him as Savior, He would come into my life and give me a new song to sing!

Oh how I wish I could say it was a life in total obedience to Him….far from it. If you are looking for a perfect person….well, I hate to break it to you, there is NONE! I have been far from it….I am far from it. This flesh is strong.

So about the book Sara gave me. The message is not new.

The seven decisions have been stated over and over in one way or another. (It is a great book and if you have not read it, please do so). Like, the first one that says: “The Buck Stops Here”. We want to blame everything and everyone else for all the bad things that happen. For years, I wanted to blame my alcoholic parents for all my problems. Nope….God gave me a brain and He gives me choices.

One of the other Seven Decisions is: “Greet this day with a forgiving spirit”. Corrie Ten Boon said: “Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart”.

More importantly, read what the Bible says to us in Matthew 18: 21-22. (NKJV) 21) Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22) Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

I have had to deal with this decision in my life and I agree it is very important in Andrews’ book. However, I am going to have to go one more decision and I think it is the most important decision of all. What will you do with Jesus? Nothing and I mean nothing matters over that.

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Message from the Heart Reaching Your Full Potential Sophisticated Women

3 6 8

Hospital Windows

12

Girlfriends in God

14

Never Alone

18

From Surviving to Thriving

22

Too Good to be True

24

The Front Porch

26

Me, Myself, & Inc.

28

Swept Clean & Put In Order

30

Recipes for Life

32

Decorate to Increase Your Brain Power

36

Shopping for an Assisted Living Facility

38

Day In & Day Out

40

Spotlight on Financial Abuse of Seniors

44

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Moving From Potential To CAPACITY

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“How many of us can say that we are living our capacity?

Potential is somewhere off in the future. But all we really have is today.” Jodee Bock, Author of The 100% Factor I just got off the phone with my friend, Amber. This gal is going through a “season” of transition that is being met with great resistance. As we chatted, I began seeing some amazing parallels between this season of her life and her love for competing in triathlons.

She described how, after making a recent career shift, she felt hit with a wave of hardship in several major areas of her life.

As she talked on, it hit me just how painful it is to be hit with multiple life blows all at once.

My mind began to picture a surfer trying to paddle out to catch a great wave only to get caught in the break zone. Instead of having a great time surfing, that surfer is now getting pummeled by wave after wave, barely hiving time to catch his breath before tons of salt water smack him back toward the bottom of the sea.

My friend is in a challenging season of life. Just as she was beginning to adjust to her new job as director of a historic theater, she got caught in the proverbial break zone. First a broken foot.

Then shingles. What young, healthy person gets shingles? She is asking the same question. And in addition to all of this, she is facing heartbreak in one of her key relationships.

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A few years ago after coming out of another health challenge, she decided to celebrate by training for and entering her first triathlon. During her season of temporary disability from another foot injury that just would not heal, walking to the mailbox seemed impossible. Having the physical capacity and the endurance for a major athletic event had been totally unrealistic. Now, with her healing complete, all that stood between her and a possible medal was the training phase. She attacked her training head on,

9/16/15 11:10:23 AM

choosing RESISTANCE as a way to build strength and awaken the athlete within her once sick and weak body.

That one word is what kept coming to mind today as Amber and I discussed her current season of transition – RESISTANCE. Then it hit me … while athletes who understand winning CHOOSE resistance, people going through every day life resist it.

With the heart of a coach and the love of a friend, I began to challenge her. What would happen if she began to see the challenges she is facing as RESISTANCE TRAINING? Then another wave of inspiration hit me. She described three areas of her life where she is struggling … adjusting to a new career, a broken foot and shingles attacking her health, and a precious relationship feeling like it is slipping away. Just like her beloved sporting event, the intimidating triathlon, she was being shaped in THREE KEY AREAS of life.

As we ended our conversation, she had reframed the perspective with which she was viewing this season of life. Instead of seeing her challenges as unwanted, she decided to embrace them as TRAINING that will take her deeper, further, and higher in life.

Take a moment to consider any unwanted transitions, disappointments or challenges you might be facing. Now take another moment to envision how you might reframe your perspective to realize that HOW YOU APPROACH these waves

of RESISTANCE will either leave you pummeled like the surfer caught in the break zone or it will leave you with the strength of a well-trained champion athlete.

Like my friend Amber, we are all “in training” for a new season of life. Let’s choose to move beyond potential and live our full capacity today, knowing that a successful today is our training for an even greater tomorrow.

There you have it … resistance training to gain life strength and all without having to pay expensive fees to a fitness center!

Enjoy today.

Kim is an award-winning author and Life Coach of global impact. This article was adapted from Kim’s newest book which she co-authored with Lauren Summey Smith. Kim would love to share her unique principles of influential leadership and cultural transformation with your group or organization. Contact Kim today for a FREE proposal on a powerful coaching/speaking partnership. You may contact her directly: kimfletchercoach@ aol.com / 828 327 6702. You may also contact Lauren to purchase a signed copy of God’s Got This! by calling: 828 228 5135.

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Sophisticated

Women...

Are Rich

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

Sophisticated women are rich. This fact is not true because they have millions of dollars in the bank but because they think they are rich.

Napoleon Hill, renowned author of the seminal book, Think and Grow Rich, stated, “Riches begin in the form of thought! The amount is limited only by the person in whose mind the thought is put into motion. Faith removes limitations.” Napoleon implores us to think we have the capacity to be rich. You must have faith that you can implement strategies, systems, and smarts that will remove limitations to wealth. I am imploring you too!

Just imagine the ‘good’ a sophisticated woman could do with her riches. If you’re thinking she could change the world, you’re right. In fact, women lead the pack in philanthropic behavior.

According to The Boston Foundation, “Year after year, research conducted for the Women’s Philanthropy Institute has found that households headed by women, at all levels of income and wealth, give more money and are more likely to give than similarly situated men.” In fact, Debra Mesch, executive director of the Women’s Philanthropy Institute shares “women give 156% more to charity than men.”

In order to edify this trend, each and every woman needs a sophisticated plan to increase her money savvy.

Let’s get started!

A Strategy for Being Rich: Adopt a new mental model about money.

Many of the women I work with do not understand how money works. I get that! I grew up in a home where money was always an ‘issue’. Unfortunately, I had allowed this issue to get into my tissues. For a long time, I believed that I was poor, that money is complicated, and that I needed someone else to support me. Can you relate? I can humbly say that my thoughts swirled around these ideals: Submitted by Jessica Hemphill

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

•

Money is someone else’s responsibility. ...a prince on a white horse is coming to take me away to a palace where money is no problem...

• •

Money is the result of hard labor and weary work. ...if I just work hard enough I will make enough money...

Money is difficult to understand and is the tool of elite. ...I’m not smart enough to understand stocks, investing or budgeting...

Clearly, when you see these thoughts on paper, they are ridiculous.

The truth is money is energy.

When I work, I put out energy. The reward is a payment of money. Understanding that money is energy is revelatory. The energy of money creates, sustains, and gives life to our dreams.

Sophisticated women THINK that money is energy.

Here’s your coaching challenge: The next time you use money, ask yourself this powerful question: If I use this money for this purpose, how will I energize my life and others?

have. Starting with the truth is powerful. It gives you a solid foundation for a plan of action. In accounting, every organization has a balance sheet. Every sophisticated woman needs a balance sheet.

The concept is very simple. You have assets. Assets are resources with economic value that an individual owns or controls with the expectation that it will provide future benefit. You have liabilities which are legal debts or obligations that you must pay. Finally, you have equity which is your assets minus your liabilities.

Simply put, your equity is your financial worth.

Sit down and create a list of your assets and your liabilities. See where you are. Take action to use your money to energize your life and your world in a powerful way. If you’d like a free Vibrant Balance Sheet, email me at nicole@thevibrantcoach.com You can do this. Remember Napoleon’s words, “Faith removes limitations.”

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com

This reframes your entire relationship with money. When you find yourself tempted with a purchase that isn’t necessary, look ahead. You’ll see that if you buy yet another pair of shoes, later on, you’ll have buyer’s remorse. Buyer’s remorse is a serious energy killer. Counter to that, if you take that same money and add it to your savings account you experience the uplifting energy of pride that builds self-esteem and confidence. Thinking about your money as energy is essential.

A System for Being Rich You can systemize your money creating freedom and joy! Again, remember your new mental model, “Money is energy”. The sophisticated woman puts her money in motion. Just like you learned in science class, once energy is in motion it takes on momentum. It gets stronger.

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Here’s your coaching challenge: Read the Automatic Millionaire by David Bach. In his book, David gives practical tips, insights, and how to’s that help you set yourself up to be rich in the long term. This book is an easy read and there’s a downloadable PDF workbook available on line. You’ll take next right steps to systematically get rid of debt, invest wisely, and learn how your money works. Written specifically to a female audience, David speaks to a woman’s life with compassion, care and understanding.

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Hospital Windows

T

wo men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.

His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their

model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

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pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

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As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself.

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He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

S phie

– Author Unknown

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

When A Dream Dies

by Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth

I’m ready, God, so ready, ready from head to toe. Ready to sing, ready to raise a tune: “Wake up, soul! Wake up, harp! Wake up, lute! Wake up, you sleepyhead sun!”(Psalm 57:7-8 MSG)

Friend to Friend

I sat on my porch with my Bible in my lap and a hot mug of steamy coffee in my hand. Early morning is my favorite time of day. Just me, Jesus, and a smattering of birds.

I closed my Bible and looked out across the backyard. My eyes landed on a rounded mound of fur nestled in the grass under the willow tree.

I got up and moved in for a closer look. My heart sank as I discovered what appeared to be a curled-up baby fawn lying lifeless in the grass.

Probably the same fawn my neighbor had seen nursing from its mom the day before. My heart broke. I understand the circle of life, but still.

A baby fawn lay dead in my yard. Most likely the target of the coyote I’d seen the day before.

I couldn’t get close enough to see the wound. Sometimes that is the way of things.

I did get close enough to see the sunlight passing through the velumlike ears, the intricate spots on its back, and the Bambi-like eyelashes resting on a perfectly shaped snout. I would have to wait until Steve got home to take care of the situation. I just couldn’t.

All morning long my mind returned to the lifeless form lying in the sun. Hours passed. At noon I looked out of the window and the still fawn remained unmoved. Untouched. Undisturbed. I couldn’t stand it. I had to know the cause of death. So I mustered up my courage and made my way to the fawn. Three feet away. Stop. No signs of an attack. I inched closer.

Finally, I knelt down by the beautifully crafted creature, admiring God’s handiwork. But I couldn’t see what had killed it.

“What happened to you, little deer?” I whispered.

Suddenly, the fawn’s head popped up! Startled eyes stared at me… wide-eyed. Me like a deer caught in the headlights. The fawn simply caught. I fell back on my haunches! And time stood still for a moment as we stared at each other in disbelief! Just a hand’s-breadth away.

Finally, the fawn sprang to its feet, wobbled a bit, and scampered off like a drunken sailor. I sat in the grass and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

So the fawn wasn’t dead after all. It had simply found a bit of grass and fallen asleep…until almost noon. And where is your mother? I wondered.

After my heart stopped pounding in my chest, God whispered, Sometimes things are dead, and sometimes they just need to be woken up.

I pondered those words for the rest of the day. I called a friend who is struggling in her marriage—in a very bad way. The sort of way that leaves you wondering if it will survive. I told her the story. I told her God’s message.

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

Sometimes things are dead, and sometimes they just need to be woken up.

Sometimes a marriage is dead, and sometimes it just needs to be woken up.

Sometimes a friendship is dead, and sometimes it just needs to be woken up.

Sometimes a dream is dead, and sometimes it just needs to be woken up.

I think we are much too quick to write the death certificate for our hopes and dreams. So here’s my word for you and for me today.

For my friend struggling in her marriage…

For my friend who cries for her adult son who walked away from God… For my friend who has received ten rejection letters from publishers...

For my friend who longs to cuddle up with a good husband rather than a good book...

Don’t assume the dream is dead. Sometimes it just needs to be woken up.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Wake me up! Stir my heart. It’s not over till You say it’s over. I commit to continue to pray for what others deem as a lost cause, for I know that there is never a lost cause when it comes to Your power to save, to deliver, to redeem, to rebuild. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Were you surprised when you read in the story that the fawn was simply asleep? I think that is the same surprise God would like to give you today.

Read Matthew 9:18-26 • What did Jesus tell the crowd about the little girl?

• What did they do when Jesus said that?

• What was the outcome?

People may laugh at you for continuing to pray, for continuing to believe. But don’t let that stop you. Turn them out!

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was taken from one of my blog posts at www.sharonjaynes.com. My blogs are a bit different in that they are more “real-time” - what happened today or this week.

I’d love for you to click over to my webpage and join the blog conversation. And if this devotion has stirred your heart to dream again, then check out my book, 5 Dreams of Every Woman, and How God Longs to Fulfill Them.

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Halloween Treats That Are Equal Parts Spooky And Delicious

H

alloween parties are commonplace. Full of frightful decorations and spooky lighting, a good Halloween party also features food that plays up the theme of the evening. Therefore, Halloween party hosts will need to get creative with the type of foods they serve to ensure a “spooktacular” time.

With a little ingenuity, otherwise mundane foods can be transformed into something worthy of a second look. Here are some creative ways to turn ordinary food items into Halloween-inspired fare for your next get-together.

Ghosts in the Pumpkin Patch Using bananas and clementines or small oranges, you can create the appearance of ghosts haunting a field of pumpkins. Peel both the oranges and the bananas and place small chocolate chips into the rounded “head” of the banana to create a ghost face. Use a piece of green gummy candy or something that will hold its shape to create “stems” for the orange pumpkins. Place the ghosts and pumpkins on a platter or in a bowl for a healthy and festive snack.

Witches’ Brew Create a punch recipe that bubbles and looks like a witch’s evil concoction.

Put two quarts of lime sherbet for a green punch (or orange sherbet if you prefer an orange punch) in a punch bowl. Add a two-liter bottle of ginger ale and one can of pineapple juice. Feel free to float “eyeball” peeled grapes or gummy worms in the brew for a more authentic effect.

If available, add a piece of dry ice to the punch so it bubbles and fizzes.

Sugar Spiderwebs Spiders and their sticky webs go hand-in-hand with Halloween. Create spiderwebs that can be used to adorn cookies and cupcakes and give them an extra scary flair.

Use a template of a spiderweb and place this template under a piece of waxed paper to serve as your guide. Use store-bought or homemade royal icing to pipe out the shape of the spiderweb on top of the waxed paper. Allow to dry until completely hardened, then peel off the paper.

Repeat the process for as many spiderwebs as you need. You can use these spiderwebs as garnish for a variety of baked goods, or they can be eaten on their own.

Ghoulish Graveyard What would Halloween be without a haunted graveyard? With a few tasty ingredients, you can recreate this classic look in a rich dessert.

Crush graham crackers and mix with melted butter and sugar to create a cookie crust. Press into the bottom of a baking pan. Prepare some chocolate pudding to pour on top of the crust and allow it to grow firm.

Then sprinkle crushed chocolate cookies on top to create the appearance of soil. Push some rounded-edge, oblong cream-filled cookies into the pudding to serve as tombstones. Decorate with candy worms, gummy skeletons and any other candy items that can add to the look. Black licorice sticks poked with black licorice strings can look like dead trees.

Scary Grin Turn a whole watermelon into a jack-o’-lantern and fill with fruit salad.

This makes for a refreshing treat and provides an alternative to candy.

Cut the watermelon as you would a pumpkin and hollow out the insides to use for the salad. Add sliced berries, grapes, apples, pears, and any other fruits you desire.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

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Never Alone My Story - by Holly Boone

L

ast night I was robbed at gunpoint at the restaurant I work at. It is one of those things that falls under the category of “that will never happen to me”. It happened. I still cannot believe it happened. The range of emotions from the moment I saw the gun, until now have flooded my body with adrenaline and hormones.

I have settled now into a place of calm mentally but my body is physically still catching up as I have a knot in my stomach that won’t go away. But as John 16:33 states – These things I have spoken to you so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage, I have overcome the world.

I have been surrounded by scripture today and I feel secure and safe in God’s hands. God gave me the strength to get through those moments with a calm presence Psalm 31:24 – Be strong and let your heart take courage all who hope in the Lord and a clear mind. Isaiah 41:13 – For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand, who says to you, “Do not fear, I will help you.” The man encountered two female employees at the bar first and ushered them into the kitchen where I was coming out of the office. He asked who the manager was, and I told him it was me, and he told us to get in the office. When I saw the gun my first thought was, I might die tonight, but if I do it will be okay.

John 5:24 – Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment but has passed out of death into life.

In my mind, I went straight to prayer with God, just a simple, “Lord I need you, be with me please”. I was able to calmly talk to the man and to calm down the employee who was crying and distraught. I was able to quickly give him the money from the drawers in the safe and put it into a bag. The whole incident from the time he walked in until the time he left only lasted three or four minutes. I have imagined before, what would I do in this situation. Working in a restaurant, we are trained on what to do; basically always give them the money as quick as possible and don’t put up a fight. In thinking of different scenarios though it can never prepare you for the actual event. My calm didn’t come from any other source except my Lord. Exodus 14:14 – The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. I praise God for giving me that stillness in those moments.

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

After he left we locked the office door and started making phone calls. I called 911, while one of the girls tried to call the cooks who were still in the building who had no idea what had just happened. I wanted to make sure they didn’t encounter the man and get hurt. We couldn’t reach the cooks by phone so I went out of the office and found the cooks and told them we had just been robbed and to lock the door. The instinct of those protective boys sent them running to try to find the robber, but I told them not to go outside or try to find him, to stay here with us. Another blessing the Lord orchestrated I believe is that those cooks weren’t aware of what was going on. Because being the protective guys that they are, they may have tried to do something heroic which could have gotten someone hurt. Romans 8:28 – And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Today, after much prayer and scripture reading and reaching out to a few close friends who I knew would pray for me, I am turning my thoughts toward the man who did this. What must HE be feeling today? He is probably more distraught than we are.

What happened in his life to get him to this point? He seemed timid. He repeatedly said he was sorry. I don’t know if he will ever be caught. I don’t really care honestly. I DO hope and pray that he will be lead to the Lord soon. God has given me a soft heart towards him. Ephesians 4:31-32 – All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Chirst.

This scripture is not about the robber’s wickedness to be removed it is about MY need to not hold bitterness or anger toward him and to forgive him, immediately, which I have. The Holly four years ago would not have reacted this way. But now I have seen the greatest example of love and forgiveness from my Savior.

The man has not sinned against me, he has sinned against my God and He is the only judge that is worthy to deal with him. I pray and will continue to pray for this man. He was nervous and scared I’m sure, and today he is probably contemplating a lot.

He is probably reviewing last night’s events play by play just as I am today. Yet I doubt his conclusions are the same as mine.

My thoughts lead me to this and this is one of the scriptures that popped in my head last night during this ordeal. Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you – this is the Lord’s declaration – plans for your welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Oh how I hope this man will come to know what that feels like. Because now I don’t think he feels like he has much hope or a future. I pray that he will repent just as I need to daily - Psalm 51:1-4 – Be gracious to me , O God, according to your loving kindness; according to the greatness of your compassion.

Blot out my transgressions and my sin. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sins. For I know my transgressions And my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, I have sinned And done what is evil in your sight, So that you are justified when you speak and blameless when you judge.

When I finally left the restaurant after hours sitting inside with police and detectives and dealing with the home office and bosses, I sat in my car and turned on the radio. The song that was playing was Be Near. Just that one line, “be near O God be near” I repeated over and over and what a comfort it was! Even in the song choice of the radio station at that moment showed God’s hand in ALL of this. He was there the whole time and will continue to be there for me and anyone else who reaches out to Him. Grow your relationship with God, do it now! He loves us and His words and His guidance are all we need. The money that man took might as well have been toilet paper, because it is worthless. Those pieces of paper don’t matter. How we live our life for God’s glory matters. How we accept Jesus as our Savior matters. God is sovereign over it all and the more we gaze at him instead of gazing at our “problems” the more we will be enriched with his love and mercy and grace!

About Holly Holly has been married ten years to the kindest man she knows and they have a four year old daughter named Sophie. Holly is very active in her church and has a passion for serving. She servers as assistant director of the M.O.M.S. Ministry in Hickory and has a heart for encouraging women as she gets great encouragement from her mentors.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Britt’s Precious Memories Photography

Submitted by CL Photography

Submitted by Hank Lail

Submitted by Jesse Payne

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21

Surviving

From

Thriving To

My Story by Erin Sipe (unedited)

T

hanksgiving typically reminds us of family dinners, beautiful spreads of food, football, and family time. In 2010 Thanksgiving week brought a whirlwind of diagnostic mammograms, an ultrasound, and a biopsy that led to the fateful phone call and cancer diagnosis at the age of 34 for Erin Sipe, a wife and mother of two. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (the most common form of breast cancer). Estrogen and Progesterone positive. Her2 positive (an aggressive tumor marker). A breast MRI in Charlotte also revealed a second tumor for a total mass of 3 cm. Six months of aggressive chemotherapy (neoadjuvantbefore surgery), a bilateral mastectomy, a year of Herceptin therapy, an oophorectomy followed by a full hysterectomy a year later, and now a ten-year phase of Tamoxifen treatment have led me to where I am today: healthy, healing, thankful and thriving!

I’m not sure there are words to truly describe the shock of that Black Friday phone call; I will never forget it. Up until that week, life was busy and good with home schooling, church ministry work, planning for the holidays, and carpooling to dance and gymnastics. Once I hung up the phone with the radiologist, I knew our life journey was going to take a drastically different path. I also knew we had options about how we handled this. We could try to hide cancer from our girls (6 and 9 at the time) and be miserable about the circumstance we had been dealt, or we could use this experience to see the blessings in the unexpected.

Although many days included a healthy dose of tears, fear, frustration, and weariness, we knew from the start that God was in each and every detail, and that no matter what He would see us through this season that would end one way or another.

In an intentional effort to do more than just fumble through and survive the many steps of the cancer journey, our family decided to make memories along the way. One of the first things we did was have my long, curly hair cut short by our dear friend, Tabi.

Afterwards we went out for pizza to celebrate Step One being behind us. As my hair began coming out a few weeks later, my husband lovingly shaved my head. Through tears my youngest daughter told me I was so pretty. Bless her! As I cried and said how ugly I was, my husband, bald for a few years, reminded me that at least mine would eventually grow back. I couldn’t

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

help but giggle at that! I enlisted children from church and our community and friends to make chain links out of construction paper so we could count out one for every day of my battle between chemo and surgery, and my youngest, Anna, would wake up each morning and remove a slip of paper. We knew from that tangible effort that we were one day closer to health and healing from the get go. My husband, Kevin, accompanied me to each chemo appointment, and my Dad and other friends took me to my weekly Herceptin appointments for a full year during and after regular chemo where we’d often make a date for a special lunch somewhere in Charlotte. My husband even surprised me one week by picking me up in his Dad’s Corvette, and we rode “topless” to chemo and back in Charlotte. My girls accompanied me to my very last chemo appointment and met my beloved Nurse Patty and presented her with a pink hydrangea.

She gave them a behind-the-scenes tour of the chemo lab! Our family and I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Hickory together every year since 2011. Katheryn Harlan and Through Healing Eyes were instrumental in me seeing that surviving IS winning and that together we will continue to thrive.

THE provided yoga classes that enabled me to cope with the many emotions the diagnosis brings; I never missed a week on the mat between my diagnosis and my final chemo treatment.

Our family participated in the annual gala held by THE, and I was able to be Mrs. September in the 2011 Breast Cancer Survivor calendar. Our family most recently participated in the 2014 Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in Charlotte. In five years our family has raised $10,000 for the cause in an effort to pay it forward for the exceptional care I received in treatment. Last summer I cut and donated ten inches of hair to Wigs for Kids, a non-profit that assembles wigs for pediatric cancer patients. We’ve made the most of the cards we were dealt in 2010, and we are so thankful for the time and health we are enjoying in this new season of life and thriving! Although we would have never chosen cancer, my diagnosis led us to meet many wonderful people and experience much love and care from our community.

Throughout my journey, I was surrounded by such a loving, supportive community of friends and family who loved me so well—shuttling my girls to their activities, stepping in to home school while I was at a myriad of appointments, coordinating and leaving meals for our family in a cooler on the front porch . . .

The sheer blessing of being served was so very humbling, and it allowed me to focus on treatments, healing, and my health. I can say that I have the very best friends and family in the world. I am one blessed gal, and I have no doubt that I am alive because of God’s grace, the prayers of His faithful followers who wore their knees out while I was sick, and the hope so many poured into me through their presence, cards, emails, texts, acts of service, and more. Someone gave me a card during the journey that reminded me we all have trials in our lives. The difference is in how we react to those trials. Our family chose to meet cancer on our life journey and together tackle it with love, with faith, and with a healthy dose of humor and defiance. I am living proof that THRIVING is possible when you surround yourself with quality health care providers, positive people, and faith-filled friends and family. And, yes, I am looking forward to my 40th Birthday next year more than I ever imagined before!

Did you know?

Many abnormalities found on a mammogram are not necessarily cancer, but rather are benign conditions like calcium deposits or dense areas in the breast. If the radiologist or a doctor notes areas of concern on a mammogram, The Mayo Clinic says further testing may be needed. This can include additional mammograms known as compression or magnification views, as well as ultrasound imaging. If further imaging is not effective, a biopsy, wherein a sample of breast tissue is taken, will be sent to a laboratory for testing. In some instances an MRI may be taken when mammography or ultrasound results are negative and it is still not clear what’s causing a breast change or abnormality.

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Box Office 828.726.2407 www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

Too

Good

To Be L

True

by Mackey S. Carpenter

ately I’ve noticed when talking to clients, they most always mention something from a television show about weddings. A few years ago those shows were seasonal at best, but with the business of weddings in high gear, that has changed. Now there seems to be a multitude of shows, each dedicated to a particular aspect of the wedding.

And while they may offer some great ideas, the timeline they provide is usually way off the grid. They offer false hope of the time it takes to do a spectacular wedding. This is where common sense comes in to play and the realization that some of the shows are scripted like reality shows.

Wedding gowns are one example of how television can deceive the bride. A mother’s former wedding gown is sacrificed so her daughter can have it totally changed to suit her style. Sounds good, right? Well, what you see is not always what you get. Recently, a bride and her mom brought in a dress that was “redone” on a TV show. They even brought in a copy of the show so I could see what had gone on. I was expecting one thing but was totally blindsided when it came to the finished gown. The workmanship was horrible as was the fit. The mom had taken a video with her phone to show me the difference of the results on TV and how it really looked. When filming the show, they used clips and pins to get a better fit for the camera. And it really wasn’t finished at all. They had signed a contract that said they accepted the final results, regardless,

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

and were paid for their time. The show portrayed a timeline of a week when it really was four weeks. In addition, the mother and daughter had made numerous trips to the location of the show only to be told it was postponed again.

It is important, whether you are buying, altering or having your gown completely changed, to do some research about the business or people that you will be dealing with. Your wedding is important to you and it should be to them. Sometimes people in the trade see so many brides come through their doors, that they become oblivious to their needs. Tuxedos are a great example of this. There is nothing worse than to see a picture of an ill-fitting tux in a bridal picture, sleeves too long or short and pants dragging the floor. Whether it be a dress or tux, make sure you are pleased before taking it from the business.

And it’s not always about the dress! If you have an appointment to see a venue, it should be clean and ready to go.

It shouldn’t look like they had a party there the night before.

Every aspect of the place should be immaculate, especially the kitchen and bathrooms. Since there should not be anything going on during your scheduled visit, they should let you take a peek at the kitchen. Like I mentioned before, it always looks great on TV. If there is something you like that you saw on a show, get a video or pictures to give to your planner or venue manager. Good communication has always been the key to have a successful wedding.

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eat, pills I should take, how to exercise, etc., etc... I have really been trying to listen but what is the deal? I have given up all my bad habits and still don’t feel good.

Time is not my friend any longer. What used to take me five or 10 minutes to put on a little makeup now takes me, well…. I have a hard time remembering how long it actually takes me now. Plus there are times, I don’t get finished. I went to work the other day and knew I was getting some strange looks. Later when I went to freshen up my lipstick I realized I only did the liner and left off the lipstick. Sometimes I ask myself why it matters anyway if it takes twice as long to look half as good.

by Judy Smith

S

omewhere along the way, I got old. My hair has turned white; my skin is starting to look like a pleated lamp shade and my bones ache. They make these sounds that literally startle me at times. I look around to see where that came from.

I was waiting to get my oil changed the other day and this lady sitting a couple of chairs from me was called that her car was ready for her and when she went to get up, I recognized that sound. She just looked at me and I looked at her and we both laughed. I told her I didn’t know if that was her or if it was my bones just getting prepared.

Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt - doesn’t work! Doctors give you “preventative medicine” then you have to go back every 6 months just to see how it is working? I called my doctor the other day to make an appointment so I could get some renewals and they asked what I needed the appointment for. When I was trying to explain, the young lady replied “Oh, you need a “Wellness Check”. I don’t even know what that means anymore. I just told her I needed my ears cleaned out, my big toe hurt and we would talk about everything else when I got there.

Here is the really sad thing. I don’t even look like my driver’s license photo any longer. Now I can’t take all the blame on that one. They give them to us for so long now that when we finally do go back, the person who gave it to us the last time.... well, now they are old. They don’t give us any time to adjust our hair or put on lipstick or anything to help make a good photo. I am pretty sure these same people are moonlighting taking mug shots at night at the jail.

Here’s another thing. I know I am a very blessed person because I have so many friends that care for me so much. They are always trying to help me out by giving me advice on what I should

pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

Plus, it takes me longer to rest than it did to get tired! What’s up with that? I can’t find my glasses most of the time because someone put them on top of my head. So let me say this one last thing.

Getting older is not all bad. There are some new games that we can play. Like: • • • •

Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over Hide and Go Pee Spin the bottle of Mylanta Musical Recliners

Plus, I actually have more patience now than ever before. Or maybe it is actually that I just don’t care anymore. I have to finish this up because it is almost happy hour…..NAP TIME!

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Are you feeding your soul?

Taking care of oneself is too often, for many women, low on their list of priorities. How unfortunate that our belief and passion in caring for others doesn’t include taking care of ourselves. More proof through studies on health and wellbeing are reinforcing that focusing on oneself is not selfish, but a way of honoring your own self-worth, which in turn enables you to give and do more in how you contribute to and serve others.

We are each unique in what you bring to every situation we encounter.

At the very core of who we are is a sacred soul that needs to be fed on a regular basis in order to fully bring our full potential and purpose into being. Are you regularly feeding your soul, or do you find yourself hungering for something more or something different, uncertain what it may be?

Take a moment to explore how you can begin to transform your hunger into honoring all that you can be:: Nourish Your Spirit: At the very center of what makes you uniquely you are the passions that may be screaming to be nurtured or honored.

What are you passionate about? How are you living your passions? How are you nurturing your passions? Express yourself through what you are most passionate about and you will be nourishing your spirit – the very essence of who you are.

Nibble on Opportunities: Have you not pursued certain opportunities because you were so overwhelmed by even where to begin? Do you find yourself regretting and feeling as though time has passed with so many opportunities lost? Instead of beating yourself up, why not shift to a mindset of nibbling away at opportunities. All this means is that you identify small steps you can take to pursue an opportunity instead feeling as though you need to know all the answers and outcomes before you even begin. You may find that past opportunities are still within your grasp to take advantage of once you identify the first small things you can do to bring them back into possibility.

Savor Moments: Have you lost the ability to simply enjoy a special moment with family, friends, nature, your surroundings or yourself?

Give yourself permission to linger a little bit longer when something makes you smile. Give yourself the gift of embracing what is happening by simply recognizing it for what it is and how it makes you feel.

Swallow Your Pride: Is your pride getting in your own way as a result of a recent challenge or situation? Are you having a hard time accepting what

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

has occurred and therefore, cannot move beyond it? Instead of allowing pride to define you, give yourself a break and let go. Forgive yourself for being human. Then replace your pride with renewed acceptance, insight and understanding.

Drink in Possibilities: Are you giving yourself time to dream a little about what could be in your life? The phrase “whet your appetite” is what comes to mind for me here. What I mean by this is that dreams help you “whet your appetite” to what could be for you. You are allowing yourself to hope, to believe, to imagine and to be inspired by your own possibilities. Take time to dream, and then actually note and acknowledge these dreams. Review them regularly and envision them in detail. Share what you would love to see be possible in your life with others. You never know who may have just the nectar you need to make it real.

Replenish Your Thoughts: Are negative feelings or influences imposed by your own thinking or others draining you? The power of positive thinking can never be overstated. You have within you the ability to choose, truly choose how you receive what is going on inside your head.

You can choose to succumb and grow numb, OR you can choose to triumph over negativity though replacing each negative infliction with a positive redirection. Each time negativity invades your thoughts, think immediately of three positive things … what you are grateful for … what you love … or what you enjoy. Smile while you think each thought to fully open yourself to not just positive thinking, but also positive physical expression. You will notice almost immediately your entire body feeling different. You will notice your mind feeling less tense and more in tune with what really matters. Over time, this practice will give you the confidence to know that you are truly unstoppable once you harness the power of your own thinking.

Taking time for you is something you should do every day in some way. I challenge you to make the next 30 days about feeding your soul in some way each day. You are worth it. And you have already started feeding your soul by reading this column. One day down and only 29 more to go!

See? It’s easier than you think!

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007.

Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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Swept Clean & Put in Order

by Mary Felkins When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, “I will return to the house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.

Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first (Luke 11:24-26) Sounds like haunted house material to me. Only this stuff’s not Hollywood make-up and special effects. It’s the real deal. Heck, I’m still shaking from my way-beyond-foolish decision to see The Exorcist in high school. Especially since I lack the cool factor gene that draws some people undaunted to all things dark and haunted.

If I told you my house was swept clean and put in order, you might imagine a tidy and inviting place. Windexed windows, Pledged furniture, bleached kitchen countertops. Can’t you just hear the Disney bluebirds merrily chirping overhead while I whistle and work? A place for everything and everything is in its place. Such a good steward of my stuff, I am! Go ahead, you’re welcome to pat me on the back.

But, according to this verse, I find great danger in good housekeeping: If God is not present in the now swept-clean-and-put-in-order house, it only provides a resting spot for the Devil and his minions. The problem isn’t that I have to share space on this planet with Master Creep and his creepy creeps, but that they are looking, always looking, for the ideal place to enter in and get to the work of destruction. Question is, will they find my heart to be the ideal, arid place of rest they seek?

“Surely not, Lord. I’ve just swept. See how orderly everything is around here?”

Silence.

“Lord, You there? Uh, hello?”

Sometimes silence isn’t golden.

When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest…

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

What kind of company seeks rest in arid (dry, barren; lacking in interest or excitement) places? Definitely not someone I’m interested in having over for tea. However it went down that the evil spirit came out of the man - either voluntarily or by force - I have to think the place became too crowded for it anyway, the air thick with the sweet fragrance of a redemptive righteousness. God the Father, Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit just weren’t its peeps.

Then it says, “I will return to the house I left.” When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order.

No matter how swept-clean-and-put-in-order I may be, a corrupting spirit seeks its rest in a house unoccupied by the presence of God, that of a polluted human heart.

Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there.

Creating a fortified force of seven more wicked spirits, they go in. And they live there. This swarm of despicables weren’t toting suitcases with costumes enough for a week’s vacation. They were intent on moving in, calling all formerly swept clean-and-put-in-order homes their own. All my tidying up will be for naught if I’ve forgotten to invite the Spirit of God and inadvertently flipped off the light in the home, creating a clean but dark place.

And the final condition of that man is worse than the first. What a wreck.

So, like all good homes, there should be rules of effective housekeeping: • • •

I need to remember evil spirits are real. They love a good costume and are known to disguise themselves as sheep, angels of light, and, of course, serpents. Must stay on the alert!

I need to maintain the presence of God in the home of my heart, flash the demons a neon “No Vacancy” sign in my Windexed window.

Incessant prayer works wonders to scare the Devil away.

I need to keep the light of Christ on in my home because… The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. John 12:35 Memorizing His word illuminates my steps better than a flood light, scatters darkness.

Who knew a thorough house cleaning could invite such trouble? But with every stroke of the broom, I choose to invite and maintain God’s presence here in the swept-clean-and-put-in-order home of my heart.

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.

Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

REGGY GREENE

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 31

Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Pumpkin Pancakes

2 ¼ cup flour 3 Tbsp. sugar 2 ½ tsp. baking powder 1 ¼ tsp. baking soda ½ - ¾ tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon • •

½ tsp. nutmeg 2 ¼ cup buttermilk ¼ cup canola oil 2 eggs 1 cup pumpkin

Stir the dry ingredients together in a medium bowl and pour in the buttermilk. Mix until just blended. Add the oil, eggs, and pumpkin, stirring thoroughly.

Scoop batter onto buttered skillet, frying pancakes until lightly browned on both sides. Serve with butter and maple syrup.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You’re a faithful God who fulfills Your plans. You’re working even now through world events and in people’s hearts. I confess I’m distracted often by earthly cares and fail to focus on Christ’s return. He’s coming soon. Thank You for this promise, which gives me hope and joy. Please remind me of this truth and increase my love for You on a daily basis. In Jesus’ worthy name, Amen.

Food for the Soul Pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin candles—all things pumpkin remind me of the fall. I start envisioning warm gatherings in front of the fireplace and maybe even a rejuvenating hike in the mountains. I love autumn. It includes brightly colored leaves crunching under my feet and crisp, cool air filling my lungs. As another year begins to wind down, I attempt to complete goals and responsibilities well.

Life has an inherent way of rushing by. I look at my children, who’ve grown into teenagers and young adults before I even figured out how to mother toddlers. My husband and I have been married over 25 years, yet we still feel like a young couple. But you know what? No matter how many seasons of life I experience and attempt to accomplish well, one constant awaits: JESUS IS COMING. Scripture reads, “And now, little children, abide in Him, so that when

pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

He appears, we may have confidence and not shrink away from Him in shame at His coming” (I Jn. 2: 28, NASB).

I can spend my life fulfilling the work God places before me—being a wife and mom, appreciating and encouraging friends, as well as writing and speaking. Yet if I don’t seek the Lord and abide in Him, I’ll miss the most important point. Keeping Christ first and loving Him wholeheartedly will enable me to meet Him with confidence. On the other hand, putting other people or things before Him will lead to shame.

“But I have this against you, that you have left your first love.”

Revelation 2:4 Friends, let’s focus on Christ more in these last days. Let’s feed our relationships with Him by reading His Word and talking to Him in prayer.

Let’s pursue an increasing passion for this One we profess. Though we might feel like daily responsibilities press us until no time remains for the Lord, we must understand our love for Christ always should be life’s top priority. Everything we do and say should flow through the filter of our growing love for Him. HE is the reason we live.

We don’t know the exact day or hour of Jesus’ return, but we can be assured God keeps His promises. Currently, Jesus is preparing a place for His bride, the church, for whom He’ll come at His Father’s direction.

After Christ retrieves His own, judgment will commence as God pours out His wrath on a godless world. Tribulation like never before will engulf this earth.

Jesus is coming … for His bride.

Judgment is coming … for those who haven’t received Christ as Savior.

In which group do you reside? If you’re a Christian, I pray this message inspires you to love Jesus more dearly, which will cause you to serve Him more fully. If you’re not a Christian, I pray today will be the day of salvation for you. No one and nothing can replace the Lord Jesus Christ—not spouses, children, careers, material comforts, or any such thing. Jesus’ death on the cross proved His love and paid sin’s penalty.

His resurrection demonstrated God’s satisfaction with Christ’s sacrifice and proved Jesus’ deity. Please trust in Christ, for “there is salvation in no one else” (Acts 4:12).

As surely as the seasons change, Jesus will return. Will we be ready when He appears?

Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

NOTE: If you’re interested in better understanding the Bible’s teaching on end times, please visit www.foothillschurchnc.com and listen to my husband’s sermon series that began on Oct. 12, 2014. You’ll be blessed!

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

Homemade Pizza With A Tasty Twist Wheat-Free Pizza With Roasted Vegetables Few foods are as popular as pizza. Whether you’re a vegetarian or someone who prefers pizza topped with pepperoni, chances are you can find some form of this beloved dish that will tickle your foodie fancy.

Those who want to experiment with making their own pizzas can do so with the following recipe for “Wheat-Free Pizza With Roasted Vegetables” from Maxine Clark’s “Pizza, Calzone & Focaccia” (Ryland, Peters & Small). The dough is designed to be a departure from traditional pizza dough, providing a crisp exterior crust that covers a chewy, sponge-like interior.

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eggplant, cubed small red bell pepper, seeded and cut into strips small zucchini, sliced garlic cloves, sliced cup olive oil, plus extra to drizzle tablespoons each milk and water, mixed together and warmed teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice egg teaspoon salt cups gluten-free white flour teaspoon quick-rising yeast ounces mozzarella, drained and cubed (optional)

Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper Preheat the oven to 400 F. Toss the eggplant, red bell pepper, zucchini, and garlic in 4 tablespoons of the olive oil and roast in a roasting pan in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes, or until they are beginning to soften.

While the vegetables are roasting, make the batter. Whisk the warm (not hot) milk and water, lemon juice, remaining olive oil, egg, and salt together. Beat in the flour and yeast and mix until well combined. Pour into the prepared pizza pan, cover, and let rise in a warm place for about 20 minutes, or until puffy.

Bake the pizza crust in the oven for 10 minutes to set the dough, then quickly remove from the oven and scatter with the roasted vegetables and mozzarella (if using). Season well, drizzle with olive oil, and return to the oven for a further 10 minutes until the vegetables are sizzling and the pizza has slightly shrunk from the edges. Cut into wedges and serve hot.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

DECORATE TO

INCREASE BRAIN YOUR

POWER

by Susan Guest, ASID

T

he lazy days of summer have left us. Schools and universities are back in session and students no longer get to sleep late during the week. Vacations are over and most of us are hard at work trying to pay for the vacation. The days are getting shorter and our time in the sun is slowing.

Sometimes it is hard to get back in a disciplined routine after summer fun. Power foods such as salmon and blueberries are known to help your brain power. You can also increase your ability to focus by improving your study and work environment.

These are some tips that can add to your success.

•

•

•

•

•

Appropriate sized desk-if you are a small child, a small desk and chair fit your needs. As a child ages and grows, his work area should increase. If you have a home office and need lots of work space to spread paper work, a large desk with a return or a credenza behind the desk will help your needs.

Proper storage- this helps keep items that you are not currently using out of your way. Store items and supplies that are frequently used in a closet or other location if possible.

Bulletin boards help organize calendars and items that are needed in full view.

Clean work surface-the less clutter on your desk or table top, the easier it is to work on the task at hand. Believe me!

I try working both ways constantly. If I stop and clean my desk, I am so much more productive.

Distraction free area-the perfect area for a home office or study area is not in the center of the home. A tucked away area in a bedroom or even a separate office is preferable. If you don’t have that luxury, try separating areas with screens or other furniture.

Good lighting- task light keeps your eyes from tiring when reading or studying. Ample overhead lighting is also important to keeping you alert and focused. Lighting can

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

• •

•

give more energy and help your brain. If you only have a dark area, consider taking breaks every 45 minutes and go outside for a few moments.

Natural lighting-outdoor lighting from a window is wonderful unless the view is distracting. Window treatments can let light in and block intense sunlight or distractions.

Color-most of us react differently to colors. Many are even color blind. As a rule, there are some colors that increase brain power in an office or study area. Purple is a great color for those of us who constantly switch from the right, creative side of the brain to the left brain which is more analytical.

Green is a calming color that most people like. The reaction to blue varies according to the shade or color-it can put some to sleep. Red is not a good office color because it increases your heart rate and makes you hungry. (I don’t need that in my office!) Orange is a lovely color as an accent, but does not help you focus.

Multi-tasking is not a great thing to do for maximum productivity. We do a better job if our environment is geared for one project at a time. I know this is hard for those who work at home and tend to small children, but one task at a time is ideal.

Hopefully these hints will help you made straight A’s or get you through the big presentation that you’ve been preparing. Time to focus and use your brain!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

Shopping For An Assisted Living Facility

The decision to move yourself or a family member to an assisted living facility can be difficult. When men and women begin to experience difficulty with everyday activities, such as bathing, dressing or getting around, families may need to explore assisted living facilities.

Millions of people in North America reside in assisted living facilities. The majority of residents in senior living are those who may need assistance with one or two daily activities, but who are otherwise mobile and self-sufficient. Families faced with moving relatives into assisted living facilities can consider the following pointers to find facilities their loved ones will enjoy. · Consider the arrangements and services offered. Some facilities offer single rooms, while others provide apartment-style living.

Most assisted living facilities provide a variety of services, such as housekeeping, laundry, exercise and wellness classes, and social activities, for their residents. Investigate the offerings at each home you visit, looking for a facility that best suits your loved one’s needs. · Inquire about staff and their schedules. It is important to know how many staff members a facility has and how many people are working at any given time. Do staffing schedules differ at night?

If a resident has a particular rapport with one staff member, can he or she be requested? Look for a facility that is well-staffed and adept at dealing with elderly men and women.

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· Learn about individual service plans. Many assisted living facilities create individual service plans, or ISPs, for their residents to ensure individualized care is given. These plans are important for the safety and comfort of residents and also can help maximize a person’s independence. Some communities offer memory care programs for those with Alzheimer’s disease or other cognitive disorders. · Consider the security in place. A good assisted living facility has a 24-hour support system in place and immediate access to care. Rooms may be equipped with emergency phones that can be accessed day or night. Many homes have check-in desks so that residents are accounted for when going on outings and for announcing guests. · Check on licensing. In the United States, each state has its own licensing requirements for assisted living facilities. Confirm a facility is licensed and that it meets the expectations of the local regulatory agency. In addition, check with the Better Business Bureau to see if any complaints have been filed against the home.

Assisted living facilities can meet the needs of people who cannot live independently but do not require the around-theclock care of a nursing home.

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Though vaccines are usually associated with childhood or foreign travel, older adults may need certain vaccinations as they age. Even those who received immunizations as youngsters may need refresher doses or vaccinations tailored specifically to the over 50 crowd. Seniors are urged to talk to their doctors about certain vaccines. In addition to flu shots, there are vaccinations that can help prevent other illnesses, such as pertussis (whooping cough), shingles, diphtheria/ tetanus, and pneumonia. Shingles is a condition that affects those who had chickenpox as children, and can be quite painful. A vaccination is an easy way to avoid it. Many local pharmacies now offer on-site immunizations, saving people a trip to the doctor’s office.

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Let Your Kids Run In The Rain

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

I’m not a runner. For a season, I tried to act like one, but that didn’t go so well. My knees hurt and my back ached way too much for someone my age. Because the only thing I loved about running was being finished with my run, I decided to mimic Forrest Gump. I stopped running altogether. I don’t think I have run one time since that day many years ago. That all changed recently.

After approaching my normal turn-around-point on my regular walking route, I felt a light mist coming from the sky. Within minutes, the dainty little drizzle turned into a major downpour. Since I was pretty far from home and the rain kept falling harder and harder, I decided to pick up my pace and run. I was certain my knees would cramp, my back would lock up, or worse yet, I would trip and fall on the muddy path I was on. But, none of that happened. In fact, I marveled at how fast I was able to run and how wonderful I felt. If a car had pulled over and offered me a ride, I would have refused. This unexpected storm had suddenly become a rather sacred moment.

As I marveled at how my legs were moving so quickly, I could hear Him whisper, “I will give you just what you need for now.” Even though the sky was rather ominous, He gently reminded me, “Like every storm, this shall pass and you will find rest.”

When fears about terrible possibilities arose, He kept saying, “Abide in me. I will lead you home.” And, when I lifted my head and noticed how far I still had to go, I heard Him say, “I am your shelter, your refuge, your help in time of need.”

God had used this sudden shower to reinforce what He had been trying to teach me in the midst of other rainstorms going on in my life. When I was forced to run through this inconvenient and messy rain I was finally able to hear His voice so clearly.

I desperately want my kids to know and hear God’s voice like this.

Even though I can tell them all about my experience the other day, I know full well that their most intimate encounters with God will happen when they personally experience drizzle, downpours and deluges that come in many different ways throughout our lives. Yet, every time their lives begin to get a little muddy, I always find myself battling this automatic urge to rescue them or rid them of the storm. I guess it’s a momma instinct within me. I also think it’s pretty counter culture these days to let kids weather their own storms. It seems like too many parents have made it their personal mission to make their kids’ lives pain free.

“Helicopter parents” who were known to hover over their kids have been quickly replaced by “snowplow parents” who constantly force any obstacles out of their kids’ paths in an effort to ensure their success.

According to many college administrators, however, this new breed of protective parenting is depriving them of the grit and resilience they need to make it through college.

Our kids gain these two essential traits when they get wet and have to figure out how to personally navigate their way through their difficulties.

This doesn’t mean that parents shouldn’t encourage or even offer direction or wisdom to their kids in the midst of their storm. It does mean, however, that as they grow older we remain on the sideline more and let them battle on their own. This ultimately empowers them to fix the problem they caused, to reconcile with the person they wounded or to face instead of avoid the difficulties they face. When we plow the snow for them, they will never gain the strategies, the steadfastness or the spiritual and emotional strength that is essential for them to experience the abundant life God intended for them in college and beyond.

So, fellow momma, let your kids run in the rain. As you let them go, I pray they will hear you encouraging them to press on. And when you are not around or cannot do a thing to make the mess disappear, trust that the storm might just give them the perfect opportunity to recognize and respond to God’s beautiful voice that will always offer them just what they need.

Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

Isaiah 30:21

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41

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pg 42 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

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Walk, don’t run. Trick-or-treaters should stick to sidewalks and only cross the street at intersection crosswalks. Make sure kids know to avoid darting out between cars or cutting across lawns and driveways. When darkness sets in, fast-moving children can be difficult to see.

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W

e thought we were on top of Dad’s finances. He had seemed able to manage his own affairs and we frequently discussed major decisions but shortly after my Mom passed my Father was approached by a broker selling an investment product. Since my Dad was still handling his own finances he chose to meet with the salesman. Before we were even aware Dad had invested quite a sum of money in a product that would not mature until 2036 (my Dad was 90 at the time.) Once we found out, there was little we could do. Dad had been competent when he had signed the papers but was still very much grieving my Mom’s passing. Even though we tried hard to protect our family - it happened to us.

According to a recent survey (2010 Investor Protection Trust) one out of five older Americans 65+ is the victim of financial fraud or abuse. It’s not surprising since persons over age 50 control over 70% of our nation’s wealth. Financial fraud and abuse is also not limited to unscrupulous salesman or scams. In fact a large portion of abuse against the elderly comes directly from people they know and trust ( children, grandchildren, caregivers and trusted professionals).

So, how does this happen? Sadly it’s relatively simple and almost impossible to track. Since seniors are often dependent on family members and others for assistance with finances it exposes them to fraud. Also the lack of understanding of new banking and finance tracking through electronic means puts seniors at a disadvantage in monitoring their accounts. Often seniors aren’t exactly sure what their total net worth is and the extent of the assets they have available to them. No one likes to think that a family member, friend or caregiver would misappropriate funds for personal use but it happens all the time.

Recently while working with a family who was seeking Medicaid assistance for their Mother I learned that Mom had owned a home in a nice suburb. I inquired as to whether that could be used as an asset to be sold to help pay for her care. Her son informed me that as Power of Attorney he had made arrangements for the home to be put in his name.

When I advised him that Medicaid would do a 60 month “look back” period for transfer of assets he became very angry with me. He had already sold his home, pocketed the cash and moved into Mom’s home with plans to have Medicaid handle her expenses. He wanted to shoot the messenger - and unfortunately the messenger was ME!

pg 44 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | October 2015

Shedding A Spotlight On Financial Abuse of Seniors!

So where do we turn to keep our seniors safe from financial fraud and abuse?

1. Almost all states offer some form of Adult Protective Services. While in most cases an agency like APS can not punish the perpetrator they can take steps to protect the senior from further abuse.

2. Have more than one family member or trusted friend acting as a second fiduciary.

3. Sign up for the National DO NOT CALL registry 888-382-1222 4. Shred all out of date personal and financial papers - and keep all legal and financial papers in a locked safe location in your home.

5. Request a free annual credit report every year.

6. Do not enter contests, sweepstakes, giveaways through the mail or on line. Do not click on line links that request verification of personal data.

7. Donate only to charities that you are familiar with and preferably localized.

Integrity in dealing with the financial aspects of our senior’s legacy is important. Knowing the pitfalls and what to look for can make a difference.

For more information on financial abuse and how to avoid it : www.consumerreports.org/cro/ magazine/2013/01/protecting-mom-dad-s-money/index. htm For more information on asset allocation for seniors: www.elderlawanswers.com

Cyndi C. Caldwell Certified Senior Advisor* Senior Sounding Board Consulting EMAIL: cloucaldwell@gmail.com BLOG: www.seniorsoundingboard.com

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