VOLUME 9 - ISSUE 9 / NOVEMBER 2013
S
phie
Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
INSIDE:
Girlfriends In God ~ Are You Still Trying To Lead? | Page 15 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ A November Miracle | Page 6 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Caught In Your Own Habitual Web? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 39
SB
torybook eginnings pg 23
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Message
Heart
from the
From The Editor: Judy Smith
To all our Veterans and Their Families
From the most ordinary places, there comes experiences that deeply touch our hearts and impact our lives. My prayer is that after you have read this that you too, will have a life-changing attitude that will move you to go farther than you ever have before to show gratitude to our Veterans and their families. Please open your heart and hear the experience that shook me to the core. It happened on any ordinary day. One that is very typical for myself. Even though I know better and get lectures from all my physicians and healthy friends, I usually don’t eat breakfast. That is bad enough, but most days, I get so wrapped up in work, that unless I have a working lunch meeting, I can skip that too. When that happens, by around 3pm, well, I am totally famished.
Don’t stop reading here because that is not the most important part of this story. As I got up to leave, I put my trash away and then walked over to them. I apologized for interrupting them and told them I could not help but overhear that they were Veterans. I put my hand out to shake theirs. “I want you to know that I appreciate what you and your families have sacrificed for our Freedom. I want you to know that not everyone in America takes it all for granted. My family….my grandfathers served, my dad and his brothers fought in World War II, my husband fought in Vietnam. I hope I have taught my children what being a Patriot is all about. I try to teach my grandchildren. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.” This is what I said with tears in my eyes. Their response broke my heart. They were shocked that someone was taking the time to do this. THEY THANKED ME. Their wives thanked me. They wanted to give me a hug. I gladly took that hug from two heroes who touched my heart that day. As I was leaving out the door, still talking loudly, I heard one of them say: “No one has ever told me that before. The other one said it had happened to him a couple of times before. ONLY ONE….I sat in my car crying at how that could possibly be. If there are any Veterans or families of Veterans reading this, words cannot express my gratitude for you. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you are reading this and you know a Veteran, stop and say thanks…..and just maybe you will get a soul touching hug from a Hero! I get one everyday from my husband.
This was the case on one particular day that was a very hectic day for me. I had a meeting scheduled for 4pm, so I was desperately trying to figure out what to eat that I could get in and out quickly. Fast food is always the obvious, however, I really try to avoid the norm as much as I can. Yet this day, I was driving right past Wendy’s. A burger and fries was calling me as much as I was trying to resist. Aah, but I could do chili so chili it was. There were only a few customers at that time but as I sat down to eat my chili, I noticed two sweet looking couples talking. I didn’t see them at first, I heard them. Obviously, one or two of them were a little hard of hearing and they were talking so loud. Looking over at them, I did notice one had on a hearing aid. A grin spread across my face as I visioned this being my husband and myself in a few years. It did not bother me in the least but I did notice several other customers kept glancing their way with irritated looks. You could not help but hear every word they were saying but instead of irritated, everyone should have stood and saluted them. The two men were talking about their service to our country and telling stories. I listened with tears in my eyes.
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phie Woman’s Magazine
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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 Reaching Your Full Potential................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch.....................................................pg 11 The Fly Lady.........................................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God................................................pg 15 Health & Fitness Tips...........................................pg 16 The Most Patriotic Coffe Shop In America..........pg 18 A Journey Of Obedience......................................pg 21 Mother-Daughter/Unconditional Love................pg 22 Storybook Beginnings..........................................pg 23 Me, Myself, & Inc................................................pg 29 A Lesson In Thanksgiving...................................pg 30 Recipes For Life...................................................pg 33 The Sweetest Advice............................................pg 38 Shutterbuggerz.....................................................pg 39
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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: November Miracle by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
O
ne of the richest expressions of my true heart is the amazing collection of people that surround my day to day life. I draw inspiration from people as they journey toward their true calling. One of my favorite local gals would be considered ordinary by many… but a closer look reveals that she is anything but ordinary. Meet my friend, Nina Heck. She chronicled a snippet of her story in 2004 when we were blessed to coauthor the book, Don’t Miss Your Boat: Living Your Life With Purpose In The Real World. Here are her own words: “I have decided to become a hairstylist,” I announced proudly to my Mom and Dad. As a sophomore in high school, I thought I was mature and in control of my future. Little did I realize that I wasn’t the one in control at all – God was! I had gone to church my whole life, but it wasn’t until the year I turned sixteen that I began to develop a personal relationship with God. I started seriously reading my Bible and searching to know who God was and why He cared so
much for me. It would be much later in my life before I would see the truest reasons why God had led me into this career. After graduating from cosmetology school, I was offered a job at a wonderful salon in the local mall. It was at that mall that I met the man of my dreams. Just a coincidence some might think, but I know it was part of God’s plan for my life. After dating for just over a year, we were married. This would become the most meaningful purpose in my life – to be wife and best friend to my husband, and later a mother to our children… During the years that I worked in the salon, my professional experience grew, and so did my clientele. Along with many faithful customers came a desire to start my own business. My mom had her own hairstyling business and offered me the opportunity to come and begin my business while operating out of her salon. I jumped at the chance. Her salon was located in the basement of the home I grew up in and was in a great location for developing my own business. Returning
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home was the perfect situation for me at that time. Thirteen years later… my mom began thinking of retiring. This would mean leaving me with the challenge of finding a new location and the chance to open my own salon. A great location became available but by the time I had made the contact, the space had been rented. In my disappointment and still working from my parents’ home, I wondered what A full service retirement was next for me. Then November brought a day I will never forget. I community in Newton remember my dad, a quiet man who rarely complained, remarking that his back was hurting. He had been plagued with back problems through the years and was sure the pain was a pulled muscle. But when the pain began keeping him awake at night, he went to the doctor… our greatest fears became reality when a tumor was found. Once again, I discovered God’s real purpose for me. By placing me back in my parents’ home to work, God had given me the opportunity to help my mom care for my dad during the Residential Living short six months before he went to be with the Lord. These Assisted Living were some of the closest times I ever experienced with my Health Care Services father. I will forever be grateful for those last precious months with him – months that would have been impossible Rehabilitation Services if that “ideal space” for my salon had been available. The very week that I returned to work following my dad’s funeral, I received a phone call letting me know that the same location that I had once looked at had become available for rent. My purpose for working at my parents’ home was fulfilled and now God was leading me to a new location… and a new beginning. Some may think, “I can see real purpose in being a wife and mother, but what great purpose can you find in being just a hairstylist?” I once wondered that too, but I have come to realize that God uses us if we are open and available to Him in all areas of our lives… Once you realize that God places Contact us today to reserve your space! you in your daily circumstances for a reason, your life will take on even greater significance. My clients have become my extended family. We laugh and cry together. I feel that my real purpose is to care for the people God places along my path in this life.” My friend Nina is a great example of the influence and “Everything was awesome. Your staff was amazing from the setinspiration that emerge from any life that is fully yielded to up, to during our party and to clean-up. It was great, a very special God’s divine design. Her story has continued on and she night and I can’t say thank you enough to the Statesville Civic can be found at “Miracles Hair Salon” in Mountainview… Center and the staff!” Angie Holt an appropriate business name for a woman in the Miracle Business. "Thank you so much for being so helpful and accommodatingCall forToday my meetings. The s
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7
S W U
ophisticated omen nderstand...
What You See Is What You Get
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching
“Obey the principles without being bound by them.” –Bruce Lee What you see IS what you get. It’s a fact. Can’t you remember when you were young and an adult warned you, “Don’t go looking for trouble”? At the time you thought this older, out of touch person was ridiculous. You thought to yourself, ‘Duh, why would I go looking for trouble.’ Chances are you did find some trouble along the way because you lacked vision. You didn’t realize that just going out to see what’s going on could place you in precarious positions. We all know that having no plan and letting things unfold can be dangerous. That’s why you were pressed for a plan, required to check in, and put under a curfew. Sophisticated Women know that these principles apply to a lifetime. These principles were and are in place to protect you. The difference is that now as an adult you must hold yourself accountable for a plan. You must check in with yourself to see if you are where you said you would be. And finally, you need to hold yourself to a schedule that serves to sustain and protect your life.
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pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
So, what’s your plan? • Are you able to articulate where you are going? • Who you will be with? • Who’s doing the driving? • And do you have a standard of behavior you are clear that you must adhere to? If not, you need one. Otherwise, what you see IS what you will get. Not having a plan places you in the precarious position of no choice. You have to take what comes your way instead of making your way toward a pre-determined destination. You need a vision for going out into the world. Look into the future and really see what you will get. Use your imagination and learn to articulate your vision for the future. Choose who your traveling partners will be. Choose to drive your life forward while setting standards of behavior for the journey. Do you check in? If not, you need to. Haven’t you told yourself that you are going to go do things, experience life, and try something new only to realize much later that you never learned Spanish, didn’t take ballroom dancing, and never put paint to canvas? Checking in with yourself is a simple but powerful process. You write down a list of destinations or goals and refer to them daily, weekly, and monthly. Seeing these goals enables you to get after them. They inform both your conscious and subconscious that you must work the plan and fulfill your promise to yourself. Just like your parents insisted that you let them know where you are and how you are, a check in brings accountability for the things you say you will do.
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Do you have a curfew? If not, you need one. Humans have limitations and that includes you. A set time for returning home to rest, rejuvenate, and re-evaluate are necessary to gain perspective. Living at our limits blurs our vision, fatigues our thinking, and leaves us unable to rise up and meet the day. Set some boundaries for how much you will do within specific time frames. Decide to bring balance to your work, your volunteering, and your obligations. Putting some restrictions on where your energy will go and taking your self ‘off the street’ at an appropriate time provides a safe place to grow up. That’s all your mom and dad (or caregiver) ever wanted for you.
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9
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Front Porch The
by Judy Smith
For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, For love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Sitting on my porch, pondering the approaching holidays, I know this year will be a little different for our family. Since my husband had to have surgery and is not allowed to do much of anything, our normal traditions of our lights, trees, villages and other things probably will not happen. Our family, especially the grandchildren (mostly me), love those things. Just because some things don’t happen though, does not mean the meaning of traditions is lost. When people think of Thanksgiving, most remember the story of the Pilgrims and the Indians at Plymouth Rock. The Pilgrims first arrived in America on December 11, 1620, not prepared for the winter they were to face. Out of the 102 who arrived on the Mayflower, forty-six of the people died during the first few months. Despite the devastation, they had a good harvest, partly in thanks to the Indians who lived nearby. They had a Harvest Feast in thanks to God for surviving and the blessings of provisions that would see them through the winter. Instead of having a thankful heart, they could have complained and blamed each other, the leaders or even God for the devastation they suffered. They chose praise over complaints and a grateful attitude over a negative one. Thanksgiving was not an annual event in the U.S. for many years. In 1623, there was a drought and instead of having a celebration, the Pilgrims held a prayer service. When their prayers were answered the next day, they invited their Indian friends to join them in another Thanksgiving observance. It wasn’t until 1863 that what we know as our modern Thanksgiving came into being. Sarah Josepha Hale decided to promote Thanksgiving in her magazine, Boston Ladies’ Magazine and in Godey’s Lady’s Book. The last Thursday in November was proclaimed the National Thanksgiving holiday by Abraham Lincoln in 1863. He proclaimed it “a day of thanksgiving and praise to the beneficent Father.” Thanksgiving was celebrated on that date for 75 years until President Roosevelt set the day one week earlier in 1939. He wanted to lengthen the shopping period between Thanksgiving and Christmas to help businesses. Congress finally ruled in 1941 that the fourth Thursday in November would be the legal National Thanksgiving Day holiday. That was the beginning of the changes that we see now. Instead of focusing on thankfulness for our blessings, it shifts to the materialistic. Instead of family traditions, the “Huge Black Friday Specials” are taking over on Thanksgiving Day. I don’t exactly know how our family traditions will play out this year, but I do know that no matter what, we will share our thankfulness together with praise for all our many blessings. We have been through a lot these last couple of years together, sometimes very worn and tattered, but we are still together. Our family may at times cry together but we still know how to laugh together. Knowing how blessed we are keeps us singing and sometimes that just keeps us laughing. How has your year been? Sometimes it’s all in the way we look at things. Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” little Timothy wrote, “I am thankful that I’m not a turkey.” Happy thanksgiving from our family to yours!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11
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pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
Better to be Prepared
Why do we let unexpected problems with weather, electricity, and other little things, throw our routines in the trash? I can tell you, it is not a perfect world. One little thing out of whack throws a monkey wrench into our plan. Winter is almost here; with this season, comes snow, school closings, ice storms and power outages. Are you prepared with plan B? Let’s pretend for a minute(some of you will not have to pretend at all) you have lived it. O.K. your power goes out and you have no heat, no hot water, no stove, you can’t stay home, because it is very cold. So you go to the neighbors, because they have a fireplace, but the family is still running in and out of the house. After the power comes back on, your home is trashed. WHY? You have not been cooking, washing dishes, taking baths or watching TV. You have not really even been at home, except to run in and out getting things. Here is why your home became trashed! Everyone reverted back to your days of CHAOS. They thought that since there was no power, there was no power (discipline in our home)! Routines are a discipline. So without power, we didn’t need routines, because we couldn’t adhere to them anyway. FREE FOR ALL. Well if your routines were habit, you would not have been able to toss them out into the snow so fast. Our biggest problem is picking up after ourselves. Without our routines we do not police our hotspots, keep our sink clean or keep the children on track with their routines. So when the storm hits, the kids are out of school, and you are without power, you still have sunlight(during the day). Don’t allow the fact that there is a little problem to stand in your way of doing things like you have been doing for months. You want a perfect world and most days are not like this at all. Enjoy the challenge of feeding your family with a buddy burner. If you were in scouts, you know what I am talking about. Play games by flashlight, read to them, just remember to stay calm and don’t let your home get panicked. You are still in charge. Plan B is like being on a camping trip for me. I love to make do with what ever I have. Since we live in the country and have our own water system, we have to be prepared. So we have some bottles of
water in the basement, for making coffee, washing our hair, sponge baths, and cooking if needed. We also have two fireplaces, so we can keep warm, if needed. There are dutch ovens for cooking in the fireplace and a real perk coffee maker. So we won’t starve. Knowing what you can do and how, is part of not getting panicked. We also have a gas grill on the back deck. So if the freezer was without power for more than 2 days, we would have to start cooking up a storm. Do you have an emergency backup plan in your home? Think about this for a little while and see exactly what you would do in case of a power outage. • Do you know where your flashlights are? Can you find them in the dark? • Do you have a weather radio, or battery operated radio for an emergency channel? • How about extra water for drinking and minimal bathing? • Do you have an alternate way to heat your home? • How about to cook? And the pots and pans to do it with? • Do you know about safety in the house with kerosene heaters, grills and candles? • Do you have a fire extinguisher handy? • Do you have plenty of Blankets? Hats and gloves? Just a little planning can keep you from pulling your hair out after the crisis is over. Learn to adapt and you will be so pleased the next time there is a weather emergency.
Get ready for a storm; you will be glad you did!
For more help getting rid of your clutter and CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or read her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House. Help me build a Habitat Home this year. http://www.share.habitat.org/flyladybuildproject Please bless others with your clutter by donating it to a Habitat for Humanity Restore near you. Copyright 2013 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13
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JENNIFER NORWOOD • 980-241-7530
Dancing With Jesus by Sharon Jaynes
Today’s Truth
“In him we live and move and have our being,” (Acts 17:28, NIV).
Friend to Friend
Over the course of several years, my husband and I traveled many times to Sea Island, Georgia and beheld art in motion as seasoned couples graced the dance floor to the sounds of a Big Band Orchestra. Mirrored steps, swirling dresses, and graceful twosomes moved around the parquet in a kaleidoscope of colors. Watching them stirred up a hunger in me to learn how to do the same. So Steve and I signed up for a six-week introductory Ballroom dance class at a local studio. “Steve and Sharon,” the instructor began, “the first dance we will learn is the Fox Trot. Steve, extend your left arm. Now place your right hand on your wife’s left shoulder blade. Cup it firmly in your hand. Let her know it’s there.” Then she turned to me, “Sharon, you gently rest your left hand on your husband’s right shoulder and place your right hand into his left hand. Keep your backs straight. Taut. This is called your frame.” So far, so good. She then proceeded to teach us to make little boxes with our feet while counting one, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. This was not floating around the dance floor like the couples on Sea Island. This was not what I had in mind. The instructor continued teaching as we marched in place. “Steve, you have the hardest part because it is up to you to lead. All Sharon has to do is follow your signals. With a gentle press to her back, she will know to move forward. With a slight release, she will know to move backward. When you raise your arm, she will know to turn under.” Sounded easy enough, but it wasn’t. More than once, the instructor tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sharon, you’re leading again.” The problem was, when I led, Steve wouldn’t follow. Imagine that. Now I know a train can’t have two engines, but I felt that I was the better dancer and that the lessons would go much quicker if Steve would just let me lead. But my tendency to take control only slowed us down and frustrated the entire process. After we mastered tiny boxes, it was time for lesson number two. “Okay,” the instructor continued, “now you are ready to begin moving around the room. This will be like making small boxes with a flap open.” We learned how to take two steps forward and two steps to the side, two steps forward and two steps to the side. Actually, Steve got to move forward, but I had to move backwards, which seemed very unfair to me. “I understood that we couldn’t both move forward, but why am I the one who has to move backward?” I complained. The instructor took a deep breath and assured me that this was the way God planned it. (She didn’t explain it exactly that way, but I knew that’s what she meant.) So the three of us marched and counted: “Slow, slow, quick, quick. Slow, slow, quick, quick.” I felt more like a shopping buggy being pushed around the room than a dance partner. I was just glad no one was watching. I had wanted us to be the next Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, but instead we looked more like Fred Rogers and Mrs. Frog dancing about
the neighborhood. And all during our six week lessons, the instructor kept tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Sharon, you’re leading again.” Eventually, I did learn to trust Steve enough to let him lead. Did you catch that? I learned to trust him. As long as I didn’t trust him, I would never yield to his promptings. As long as I thought I could do it better, I would never follow his lead. But when I surrendered to his tender tugs and gentle releases, we began to glide. When I began to heed his cues, I knew when to spin, roll out like a casted fishing line and be reeled back in again like a prized catch. Amazingly, when I relinquished control and followed Steve’s lead, I looked good. I was the one spinning, twirling, rolling out, and swirling back in. All Steve got to do was stay in one place and drive the machine. And that is the joy and beauty of practicing a life of union with Jesus. In Him we live and move and have our being become a graceful dance in which we simply learn to follow Jesus’ lead. When we learn to yield to Jesus’ tender tugs and gentle releases, when we relinquish our tendency to take control, we move as one to the melody of heaven’s Big Band and God’s creative choreography designed uniquely for each of us.
Let’s Pray
Jesus, forgive me for trying to take the lead. I want to be a good dance partner who yields to Your tender tugs and gentle release. Today, I will relinquish control and follow Your lead. In Your Name, amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
The next time you watch dancers, notice who gets to do all the fancy moves. At the same time, notice who is leading. Is there an area in your life that you tend to take the lead rather than follow Jesus’? If you are willing to stop taking the lead away from Jesus, log onto this post on my blog at www.sharonjaynes.com and say, I’m letting Jesus lead!
More from the Girlfriends
Today’s devotion was adapted from my newest book, A Sudden Glory: God’s Lavish Response to Your Ache for Something More. Do you long for more in your relationship with God and in your life as a whole? Oh sister, God wants to fulfill that longing! He longs to lavish you with moments of SUDDEN GLORY where He makes His presence known. Life becomes a beautiful dance with Jesus when today’s truth becomes a reality in your life. Are you ready to join Jesus in the dance of your life?
Seeking God? Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 725 Matthews, NC 28106 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 15
a flat stable platform. The BOSU ball was created in 1999 by David Weck after he encountered a fall on the stability ball. The intention of the BOSU ball was to create a safer alternative to the stability ball. It is made so you can use both sides to workout on. The best part is that it will not roll out from underneath you when you are using it.
by Sharon Rashidi B.S. Health Education
Owner of The Perfect Workout
The BOSU Ball
It’s OK to admit it. You’re afraid of that big round rubber ball at the gym known as the stability ball, or should I say falling off the ball. I’ve seen it before. It is a real concern for both experienced and new gym goers. I won’t lie; once in a while it does get away from you. You’ll set it on a spot and turn around to grab some weights and poof, it has rolled away all on its own. With luck, you realize the stability ball has vanished before you try to sit on it. This is why; I have fallen in love with the BOSU ball. BOSU (both sides utilized/ both sides up) is essentially a stability ball that has been cut down the middle and put on
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The BOSU ball is great for improving balance, since your body is forced to recruit core and stabilizing muscles when you are using it. It also makes otherwise “eh, that was easy” moves, like squats and lunges harder by adding an element of instability—which means, of course, a better workout. It becomes a great cardio tool if you step up on it, or turn it over for push-ups. I like to call it a total body piece of equipment since you can use it to work your legs, arms, back, shoulders, abs, hamstrings, and even glutes.
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BOSU Ball Exercises Exercise Number One- BOSU ball side plank lifts The BOSU ball side plank lifts targets your obliques. This exercise also works your shoulders, core and outer thighs. Step One- Get down on the floor lying on one side next to the BOSU ball. Place your forearm down on the ball, thumb towards the ceiling and lift your body up. One leg is bent at the knee and the other leg straight.
Step Two- Lift the straight leg up and down, keeping your foot flexed and core tight. Repeat 12-15 times and work your way up to 25 reps.
Tips- Always remember to keep your toe pointed slightly down towards the floor and your body stable. Make sure your abdominals are engaged and lifted. Your rib cage should be lifted as well and not allowed to sink toward the floor.
Exercise Number Two- BOSU ball push-up The BOSU ball push up is a great exercise for developing upper body strength and power. It will work your chest, arms, core and glutes as well. Step One- Flip the BOSU ball over so that the round side of the ball is facing down. The flat side is up towards you. Take your hands to the outside of the handles. Grip on to those handles; come up into plank position. You want to make sure that your head is slightly over the hands and not even with the hands. Step Two-Lower your body down towards the BOSU ball. Return to the starting position. Control the movement in the ball to really stabilize your core box. Tips- To modify this exercise, come down to your knees. Make sure your abdominals are engaged before lifting your hips up. Remember to inhale as you lower your body down towards the BOSU ball and exhale coming up.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 17
The Most Patriotic Coffee Shop in America Mooresville’s Living Military Museum Welcomes Vets Home The ‘Richard’, for whom ‘Richard’s Coffee Shop’ was named, was a Huey helicopter pilot in Vietnam who flew an attack gunship under the call sign “Mustang 53.” Richard Warren owned and operated Pat’s Gourmet Coffee Shop (named in honor of his wife) at 166 N. Main Street in Mooresville, NC. Richard built a reputation for welcoming fellow veterans in the coffee shop with a hug and a “Welcome Home.” His genuine interest in their well-being created an immediate sense of brotherhood with all the veterans who became regulars at the small coffee shop. Over a 14 year span, veterans brought in photos, old uniforms, combat models, and much more, creating a ‘museum’ of sorts to showcase the local veterans who found a second home at the coffee shop.
When word came in early May of 2009 of Richard’s passing, the regulars knew they had to continue his legacy, and just as importantly, to continue their commitment to each other. Just a couple of months prior to Richard’s passing, they had formed a non-profit called “Welcome Home Veterans” so, for a few weeks they met at the old Bob Evans restaurant. Then the first Board of Directors moved the small shop just south of the original site to 128 S. Main Street. As word spread of the place veterans could gather, have coffee and support each other, the need for a larger shop grew quickly. Through endless fundraisers, and the generosity of key community donors, Welcome Home Veterans Military Museum at Richard’s Coffee Shop was relocated to 165 N. Main Street in May of 2012. The newer facility has five times the capacity of the two previous sites, and is often overflowing on special events such as the recent presentation of an ‘I- beam’ and other artifacts from the World Trade Center. This donation was presented by the Coast Guard Auxiliary for St. Stephen’s School in Hickory. Richard’s Coffee Shop was dubbed “The Most Patriotic Coffee Shop in America” by the official North Carolina state magazine, Our State, as it is the only non-profit (501c3) coffee shop and living military museum in the United States. It truly is a living museum as visitors are greeted by volunteers who welcome them to Richard’s and
Thursday mornings at Richard’s Coffee Shop we welcome over 100 veterans each week for “Free Coffee Thursdays.” Notice the model aircraft hanging from the ceiling and all the framed pieces adorning the walls.
pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
guests can regularly meet veterans from World War II, the Korean Conflict, Vietnam, as well as Iraqi and Afghanistan warriors. Thursday is the traditional ‘free coffee day’ for the veterans at Richard’s and it is not unusual to see about 120130 veterans stopping by. Saturday mornings are ‘Music Jam’ and you will find around 20-30 musicians bringing in guitars, banjos, fiddles, or instrument and fill the museum with old time gospel, blue grass and traditional music. Their mission statement is “To ensure the memory of, and support to, those who serve.” During these past years, the Board of Directors and veterans at Welcome Home Veterans at Richard’s Coffee Shop have been involved with Toys for Tots, Flight of Freedom Honor Flights, the Marine Corp League, Patriot Guard Riders, Combat Veterans Motorcycle Association, Purple Heart Homes, American Legion and numerous other organizations that provide direct support to veterans and active duty personnel. The coffee shop/military museum is open Monday through Saturday 8 a.m. until 3 p.m. On December 7, in honor of Pearl Harbor Day, Richard’s Coffee Shop, along with the Lake Norman Big Band and George Pappa’s Victory Lanes, will be hosting “A Night to Remember”. For more information about this or other events celebrating our country’s servicemen and women, call 704-663-0488 or visit WelcomeVets.com
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pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
When we start on a journey, the first thing we do is key in our destination on our GPS. (Yes, some of us over 65 have finally given in to buying an electronic gadget that tells how to get to where we want to go) As the voice tells us the turns to make, we follow them until we decide to take a different route that we think is better. The voice immediately tells us to turn around. In fact, she tells us several times before she starts re-calculating our new route. When we become a Christian, we begin our journey with Heaven as our destination and the Holy Spirit as our GPS. As we come to forks in the road, we have to choose which one to take. When we make bad choices, the Holy Spirit tells us to turn around. When we don’t obey, He tells us again and again before He starts re-calculating our route just like our GPS. The closer we get to our destination, we reflect on our journey and the paths we took and didn’t take. I’m proud of some of my choices and some I wish I could have a “Do Over”. What if………………………….? In April of this year, I felt that the Lord spoke to me and told me to “Get your house in order”. Since I was preparing for major back surgery at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, it made me pause since normally I think that means our time on earth is short. I didn’t question Him. I simply started doing what needed to be done. I made a “Bucket List” of things I wanted or needed to do before I kicked the bucket (no disrespect intended). Bobby (my husband) and I were able to get Mother who is 96 settled into an Assisted Living Facility. I wanted to restore a relationship that I was responsible for damaging. (I did this by leaving a letter in an envelope in case I didn’t make it through surgery. I have since gone to this person and made amends.) I went into surgery with peace in my heart and ready for whatever the Lord had in store for me. I would probably have prayed a little harder for less pain had I known what to expect. But that’s another story and I digress. The surgery was a complete success and I praise God for surgeons and anesthesiologists and nurses that He can work through to accomplish miracles. I am so thankful for all the prayers and I am especially thankful for my husband who became my caregiver, nurse, housekeeper, grocery shopper and listener when I whined and cried. I still have some undone things on my bucket list; become a volunteer for Hospice, visit my nephew in Los Angeles, see New York City at Christmas time, and dance again. I still don’t know if He was testing me for obedience or if He wants me to keep my house in order but I do know that I have drawn so much closer to Him and I want to serve Him every day in whatever way He leads.
A Journey by Jan Phillips
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 21
On a sunny mid-winter morning, I was standing in the kitchen holding my daughter, when I was struck by one of those bolts of clear realization that seem to come out of nowhere. As I pressed her chest against mine, her soft cheek brushing my face, I suddenly, absolutely, knew that I could not love this child any more than I did right then. I loved her without condition, without reservation. There was simply no room left in my heart to love her more.
Kristen and her beautiful daughter
I can’t explain how or why this has happened, but I knew then, just as I have known every moment since, that I am holding nothing back, that there are no circumstances of birth or fate that could make me love this child any more- not if I’d conceived her myself in some specific and memorable moment, not if I’d held her in my arms any sooner in her young life. No fact of genealogy or physiology or of actual fleshly attachment could add to my certainty that we were fated to be together, that we are completely, whatever the differences in our physical makeup or our ethnic or cultural origins, mother and daughter. — from “The Lost Daughters of China” by Karin Evans
Mother – Daughter Unconditional Love
One afternoon in 2009, I read this beautiful description of a mother’s love for her adopted daughter and the words touched me deeply. I had recently completed foster care classes, became licensed, and was in the process of pursuing adoption as a single parent. I reflected on these words often as I anxiously awaited the phone call that would change my life forever. Was it possible that I could love a child with that same kind of unconditional love?
Finally, after much waiting, that phone call arrived. I received a brief physical description of my soon to be daughter, and an even briefer history. I rushed to the agency, eager to meet her. I had envisioned this moment for so long. She was a beautiful two year old child with strawberry blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and the longest eyelashes I had ever seen. Everything was so surreal. It was as though time had stopped for that brief moment, a moment that I will always remember. As I picked her up, intense emotions of happiness and sadness flooded me. I was so happy to be a part of her life, yet sad that she had experienced so much beyond her years. Many thoughts raced through my mind including the possibility of her
pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
by Kristen Robinson
returning to her biological family. This is the difference between foster care and adoption. I quickly dismissed these thoughts and decided in that moment to love her with all that I have. Fast forward three years later, my daughter is now five years old and her adoption has been finalized. We have experienced countless therapy appointments and social work visits. The day her adoption was finalized, I was finally able to experience those beautiful words described by Karin Evans. As I held her that day, I knew in the depths of my heart that she and I were created to be mother and daughter. In that instant, my entire being was miraculously connected to her and I was filled with an overpowering and intense love as her mother forever. Since that day, I have had many moments like the one described above, watching her sleep, seeing her dance, holding her, and knowing she is filled with happiness. She has filled my life with immense joy and I feel as though I have always known her. I hope that one day she will understand my unconditional love for her. She will forever be my daughter and I love her so much that there is no room left in my heart to love her more.
Sophie Woman’s Magazine
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Gavin Miller Kristy Walker My name is Kristy Walker and I was asked to marry the most wonderful man I have ever dated on March 23, 2013. Our wedding date is set for August 3, 2014. We will be getting married at Woodmill Winery in Vale, NC. I remember praying, “God, please send me a Godly man who doesn’t have to be completely country but Lord, let him be from the South, I need him to love me and care for me, as well as my family and it’d be nice if he liked cars, too!” Gavin is my soul mate, he leads us to church every single Sunday, he loves me more than I have ever been loved before and I can not wait to say “I do” to him next year.
August 31, 2014
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23
&
Pets
Weddings
So, you want to have your dog in your wedding. While not uncommon, it does take some pre-planning before attempting to have your dog, or any other pet for that matter, participate in your wedding. And just like your other wedding activities, you want to make sure to take care of any problems ahead of time. First, here are some things to think about first. 1. Make sure your venue will allow pets. Some will not, especially if the wedding is to be indoors. If they do approve,
whether indoors or out, someone will have to be in charge the whole time. Your pet will need “potty breaks”. Make sure the handler knows to clean up after this. They will also need something to drink. 2. If your pet tends to be antisocial or just not good around people, it’s not going to work. Instead, use your pet in your bridal portrait. It doesn’t have to be posed, just you and your dog. Some dogs are natural when it comes to this. Just like people, they are all different with their own unique personalities. 3. Rehearse with your pert as much as possible to keep him focus. Do this around groups of people or a dog park. Don’t let him jump up on people. (Shouldn’t be doing this anyway.) The day of the rehearsal, let your pet get familiar with the surroundings, along with all the people. 4. Make sure everyone in the wedding party is aware of your intentions. Some people may be allergic to your pet. Make the necessary decisions beforehand. Some even put their pet’s name on the wedding invitation. 5. Pet, like children, can be totally unpredictable. If something happens, just laugh it off. Some will bring cameras just to catch those moments. 6. Decide whether your pet will be there for everything or just for part of it. Regardless, talk and stroke your pet before and
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after the ceremony. This will make them feel better. Have treats available. Some may ask what part the pet can play in the wedding? Glad you asked. • Dogs or monkeys can carry a bouquet. • The can be a best man (bow tier or tux) or maid of honor (a tutu in the appropriate colors). • Pull a wagon with the ring pillow surrounded by flower petals. • Ride in a wagon pulled by the ring bearer. • Carry a sign around the neck. (Especially cute if it says ring bearer or flower girl) • A flower collar on a pet works for anything. • Bride can ride in on her horse. • Put the ring pillow on the pet’s back. (Attaching it to a harness makes this easier.) I know this may seem crazy to some people, but those who love “man’s best friend” will find a way to have their pet a part of their special day. Mackey S. Carpenter www.mscdesigns.net www.lovemybrides.net (blog)
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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
CALL NOW 828-994-4020 lynbrooke.net 2289 St. Pauls Church Road, Newton
Announcing the Marriage of
Todd William Jenkins & Summer Linn Lee Summer Linn Lee of Newton, NC, and Todd William Jenkins of Stanley, NC, were married Saturday, September 21, seven o’clock in the evening at the Mosteller Mansion in Hickory, NC. Rev. Ernie Richards of Vale, NC, officiated. The bride is the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. William Michael Lee of Newton, NC. The bridegroom is the son of Mr. Todd Jenkins Sr. and Mrs. Crystyl Human of Stanley, NC. The bride was escorted by her father. She wore a light gold gown with lace detail. She carried a rounded nosegay stem bouquet of coral roses, peach rose spray, and white hydrangeas wrapped in an ivory satin pearl collar. Tamara Helderman, sister of the bride, of Maiden, was matron of honor. Bridesmaids were Mary Black of Sherrills Ford; Lashea Carter of Charlotte; Madison Gonzalez of Sherrills Ford; Emma Human, sister of the groom, of Stanley; Parker Jacobs of Greensboro; Courtney Jones of Sherrills Ford; Vanessa Lee of Newton; Whitney Moore of Charlotte; and Ashley Wild of Burtonsville, MD. They wore coral knee-length dresses and carried bouquets of coral roses and white hydrangeas. Todd Jenkins Sr., father of the groom, of Stanley, was best man. Groomsmen were Jimmy Gonzalez of Sherrills Ford; Chase Helderman of Maiden; Joe Jenkins of Stanley; Clay Lee of Newton; Shane Lee, brother of the bride, of Newton; Leonard Lewis of Stanley; Will Puckett of Stanley; CJ Rabb of Gastonia; and Joey Williams of Gastonia. They wore black tuxedos with coral ties and boutonnieres of white roses. Laci Dockery of Maiden was flower girl. Cole Helderman of Maiden, and Tyson Jenkins, beloved pooch of the bride and groom, were ring bearers. Emily Lail and Megan Austin, of Maiden, were honorary attendants. Music performed by the string trio, Summit Strings. Soloist Marie Setzer provided music during the ceremony and recessional. Garry Eller Photography captured memories. Custom dog tuxedo was created by MSC designs. Three Forks Cakes provided a 5-tier wedding cake, and Patti Dancoff of Maiden, directed wedding. The bride graduated from Western Carolina University and holds a Bachelor’s degree in Business. She is currently the Executive Director at The Corner Table in Newton. The groom is a 2007 graduate of Gaston College and is employed as an engineer at Leeboy in Lincolnton. The couple flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico, and cruised throughout the Southern Caribbean for their honeymoon. They now reside in Claremont, NC.
September 21,
2013
Photographs Provided By Garry Eller Photography
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27
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pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
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Are you caught in your own habitual web? As an early morning walker and hiker, spider webs always abound on or near the pathways I choose to embark. I have always had a fascination with spider webs because of their abstract artistry glistening with asymmetrical wonder in how they are masterfully constructed with delicate threads of silk in a matter of minutes. I was inspired to write this column as a result of two spiders and what one seemed to have learned from its daily web construction, while another was incorrigible, ultimately leading to its demise. As you read this column, ask yourself which spider are you? Same Action, Same Results: Are you doing the same thing but expecting a different result? This was the case with the incorrigible spider that refused to learn from its mistakes. This particular spider was discovered each morning while on my wake-up-andgo walking routine which included a series of multi-level stair climbs in exterior breezeways of an apartment building. On the second level of one particular breezeway, I would encounter this spider and its beautifully constructed web totally blocking the pathway up or down the stairs. Each day I would break through the web to continue my climb, and yet each day, the web would be built again in the same place expecting a different result. If you keep getting the same result, consider what you need to learn or can learn. Then take action based on that newfound insight to get a different result. Talents Used, Not Leveraged: Do you have natural born talents that are not being leveraged properly or being used effectively? The spider that kept rebuilding, but not learning, had amazing skill and talent, but was applying them in the wrong way. While the artistry of the web changed each day, the spider did not consider all of its talents in building a web that would not be disturbed and require rebuilding again and again. For instance, its ability to soar silken threads to greater heights, out of reach of human passersby, was not being leveraged. After about two-and-a-half weeks, I took pity on the spider and would turn around, not transcending up that particular breezeway, knowing full well, anyone living in that upper level would be breaking through that web to get to where they needed to go. After approximately three weeks, the spider’s web was no longer being built in that breezeway, with the spider’s carcass unfortunately showing the end result of its unwillingness to learn and evolve. Don’t allow a part of you to die because you are not fully embracing your natural born talents.
Beyond Surface to Core: Are you only looking at the surface level of a challenge? The second spider was much wiser and is still happily existing outside of my office building. This spider took a different approach to the exact same problem. I typically arrive at my office each day first, and discovered this spider’s web one morning in the pathway of the rail-lined inclined entrance that leads to our front door. After only two days of breaking through the web to get it out of the way for my entrance, as well as clients’ entrances, I noticed the spider had moved where it was constructing its web. No longer was the web in harm’s way because this spider realized what the core issue was and corrected it. Consider looking deeper into the reasons why something is not working to get to the real core of the matter. Best Practice into Best Habits: Are you learning from your observations to turn them into best practices for replicating success? My fascination with observing the much wiser spider in action continued as I witnessed it testing different locations for its web’s home. One location was between the building and a tree. This only took one day for the spider to realize that the tree attachment was unreliable due to the wind. Another was between the building and a security light. Also not ideal, since the light must have disturbed the spider due to its blaring brightness throughout the night. Finally, the spider found the perfect location higher up amidst two roof peaks above human reach. Other spider webs, most likely its offspring, are also building webs in this location, proving how best practice can become a “best habit.” While some of you may cringe at the sight or even thought of a spider, the lessons learned from these two strikingly different scenarios are representative of everyday issues in our lives in how we choose to live, learn and then prosper. Choose to get out of your own way by becoming unstuck and empowered by insights, inspiration and an authentic inclination to continuously grow in order to know.
Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29
A Lesson In Thanksgiving How Much Stuff Is Enough
My husband and I were having lunch the other day and he asked if there was a percentage rule for the amount of furniture in a room or items hung on a wall. My answer was “it depends”. I’ve worked with clients who wanted a sparse, clean room with a few well-selected pieces of furniture, art, and other furnishings. There are people like me who feel less stressed when we are surrounded by fewer things. My brain is less cluttered when my office is clean and I tend to think better. My life seems to flow when I don’t have stacks of clutter all over the house. It is easier to get dressed in the morning when my closet is organized and not too full. I’ve also worked with clients who grew up with very little money. They now wish to be surrounded by lots of nice things that mark success in their minds. Some people feel more comfortable in a room full of clutter and mementos of past trips and happy times with family and friends. When I first started working in the interior design business, larger homes seemed to be more desirable. I
pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
by Susan Guest, ASID
called these homes “McMansions” because they often had large square footages without a lot of detail and quality. I joked that the McMansions ate accessories because I placed tons of items in these homes before they felt cozy and inhabited. Some homes seemed like a bottomless pit. Today’s homes tend to be scaled down a bit and have more thoughtful details. Fewer items are needed for these homes because they often have more textured surfaces, more colors and don’t seem as empty as the cavernous homes of the 80’s and 90’s. My personal decorating preference is somewhere in between sparse and cluttered. I love to have a few large items that pack a lot of punch instead of tons of smaller items. If the small items are displayed together artfully, they can have a wow effect. Too many of these small items can be distracting and energy draining. Unfortunately, my home is more cluttered than I like because of our addiction to dog art. I also have a hard time letting go of things and keep both clothing and home furnishings longer than I should.
I have recently started reading Jen Hatmakers’ book “Seven, An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess”. This author addresses the consumerism in our country and how we have so much stuff that we don’t even realize our greed. In her attempt to address her own personal overabundance issues, she devoted a month to work on each of her seven problem areas. For example, in the first month when Jen confronted how much food she and her family wastes; she only ate seven healthy foods for the entire month. Coffee and dark chocolate were not on that list! In the month when she worked on her over-abundance of clothing, Jen only wore seven pieces of clothing. I am reading this book with a conscience of both how much I have to be thankful for and also how much I influence the decisions of my clients in furnishing their homes. So, how much stuff is enough? It is an individual decision based on your personal needs and conscience. I am not planning to eat only seven foods for the month, but do plan to spend some time living out of my crowded freezer. It is amazing how creative you can get with meals when you don’t go to the grocery store at every whim. Most Americans have so much to be thankful for. We have large homes, cars, enough to eat, nice clothes, and are rich compared to global standards. We have been so privileged for so long that we don’t even know how blessed we are until see others in real need. This Thanksgiving, let us all not only be thankful, but think of special ways to help those who are not as fortunate. After all, how much stuff is enough?
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pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
Recipes for ife
L
by Emily Wickham
Food for the Body Thanksgiving Pumpkin Pie (Source: American Pie by Teresa Kennedy) 1 1-pound can pumpkin 1 cup dark brown sugar, firmly packed 2 tablespoons honey 2 eggs, lightly beaten 1 cup heavy or whipping cream 2/3 cup milk 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 teaspoon ground ginger ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg ¼ teaspoon ground cloves Crisco Pie Crust 2 cups flour 1 teaspoon salt ¾ cup Crisco shortening 5 tablespoons cold water Mix dry ingredients together; blend Crisco in with fingertips. Add water, one tablespoon at a time, stirring with a fork after each addition. Dough will be very moist. Continue as listed below. • Divide piecrust into two equal portions. On a well-floured surface, roll out one portion and ease gently into a 9- or 10-inch pie pan. Trim the overhang, flute edges, and set aside. Wrap remaining dough and refrigerate for use within several days. • Preheat oven to 400 degrees. • Combine pumpkin, brown sugar, and honey in a large bowl. Add eggs and beat well with electric mixer. • Stir in cream and milk until well blended. • Add spices and use mixer to blend. Pour filling into crust and bake for 45-55 minutes or until filling is set.
A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are generous beyond measure. I confess sometimes I focus on what I lack rather than all You’ve provided in Christ. Thank You for the gift of Your beloved Son—may my appreciation for every spiritual blessing in Christ consistently grow. In Jesus’ glorious name, Amen.
Food for the Soul “Okay,” I light-heartedly called, “I’ve decided to put in my Pumpkin Pie recipe.” Sitting in the adjacent room, two of my kids immediately responded, “Nooooo!” My children make me smile. Periodically I’ll ask which recipe to use for this column, and they unabashedly share their opinions. Sometimes we laughingly joke about which recipe NOT to contribute—one they all have terrible memories of eating. And so it goes. Month by month, I’m pleased to share sweet or savory combinations my family has consumed favorably. As for my kids’ protectiveness of this recipe, it clearly indicates their immense fondness for my pumpkin pie. Most of them agree it surpasses all. In fact, Thanksgiving in our home must include this creamy, delicately spiced dessert. And I insist on the homemade crust, which serves as my favorite part. Flaky and flavorful, an excellent piecrust makes all the difference. Why wouldn’t we want to share? Sharing: it sort of goes against our human nature. Within each of us resides an “I want,” “It’s mine!” attitude. From our earliest years, we operate through the lens of self-interest without even processing this mindset. Easily selfish motivations continue unless God intervenes. Graciously He provides the ultimate example of generosity and sharing. “He who did not spare his own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?” (Romans 8:32, NASB). Unquestionably our minds cannot grasp the extent of God’s generosity: • He did not spare His Son – God GAVE His Son. Not rescuing Jesus from cruelty and death, God the Father allowed Him to agonizingly suffer and die. • He delivered His Son up for us – God foreordained that evil men would crucify Christ … in our place. I cannot imagine the price God paid to secure our salvation. Willingly, lovingly, generously, He shared the BEST: His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Withholding nothing, God gave EVERYTHING on our behalf. Utter amazement fills me at His gift’s enormity. Thankfulness flows as I’m reminded of His vast love. Who would do something like this? Only the one true God. But that’s not all. Since God indisputably displayed His love by giving His precious Son, those who’ve received His gift of salvation are also assured of more: “all things.” Sometimes we forget the magnitude of God’s generosity and mistakenly think He’s holding back—denying good and refusing to grant us our hearts’ desires. Narrow-mindedly we jump to conclusions and wrongly determine God’s motives. God. Gave. Us. His. Son! Subsequently no reason exists for Him to withhold anything unless that’s His finest for us. Ephesians 1:3 beautifully states, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” Indeed we have been blessed with “all things” in Christ. As we gratefully bow our heads this Thanksgiving Day, let’s be especially aware of all God has obtained for us in Christ. Despite what we as Christians do or don’t retain materially, possessing “every spiritual blessing in Christ” surpasses all. Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life … Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and
! speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.
Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog devotions and to learn more about life in Christ. Connect with Emily on Facebook at www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author. Please contact Emily about speaking at women’s events such as retreats, luncheons, and conferences by e-mailing emily@proclaiminghimtowomen.com. Emily, who is grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her wonderful husband and their four treasured children in western NC.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33
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Season’s Greetings from the City of Newton The holidays are here! The City of Newton encourages you to support local businesses as you search for the perfect gifts. You’ll find great shops, restaurants and entertainment in Newton. Our friendly merchants are ready to make your holiday shopping an enjoyable experience. Join us for Light Up the Town from 5-9 p.m. Sunday, December 1, and watch Newton come alive for the holiday season.
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19 North College Avenue Courthouse Square, Newton www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37
Sweetest The
Advice I’ve Ever Heard
Miranda Simon Email us at info@busymomsbuzz.com Remember - sharing is caring... Copyright (C) 2013 BusyMomsBuzz I read a letter that I would like to share with you. Often times when I come across something positive and uplifting, I look for opportunities to pass the message on. I tell you, it was the sweetest advice I’ve ever heard and it warmed my heart to read. It was about a man who was having a hard time forgiving his father because of the terrible things that was done to him as a child. Although he wasn’t a child anymore, a husband and soon to be father; he was still being affected by the pain of his past with his dad. His close friend wanted to offer him some advice to help him move forward. Here’s what he said: Your dad is getting older and facing his mortality. He’s going to become a different man soon. In life we all become different people. At 20, you’re not the same person you are at 50, and if you are, something is wrong.....(speaking of changing and or not changing) most times it’s for the better, although there are some people that are so resistant to it that sometimes they won’t change....if he remains the same that’s okay too.
The Process of Forgiveness My challenge to you my friend is to start looking at your father like a person. Not the man you see, but the boy he was, how he grew up, what he went through. Realize that just like you have had, he has had his own pain, heartbreak, pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | November 2013
struggles, secrets, disappointments, and sadness. In other words, he had a life and a story long before you were born and in that life he wasn’t given the tools to be what you needed him to be.
Be the Difference
As a parent your job is to help your child pack a suitcase for this journey called life. Just like when you go on a trip you pack everything you need. This is the same thing. You must help that child pack love, faith, confidence, patience, joy, hope, how to give love, how to accept it....All these things and so much more should be in that suitcase and if they aren’t, that child is going to have a tough life. Find out what’s in your father’s suitcase. It will help you understand. What’s in his suitcase is not an excuse for the way he treats you, but it is a part of your understanding of him. I know he’s a closed door and I know you don’t know much about him, but if he won’t tell you then maybe there is a family member on his side of the family that can tell you his story. His past is important in understanding your present.....at any rate, I don’t care who or what he is. I’m just glad he was used to bring such a great and awesome person to this world, whether he will ever know it or not. I thank him for that. I thank him for you. I love you my friend. This is the sweetest advice I’ve heard. I hope you think so too.
Our Monthly Feature
shutterbuggerz Here are some of the best photos from our October 2013 contest, “This Land Is Our Land�
Local Photos of Everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
s h u t t e r b u g g e r z . c o m www.shutterbuggerz.com
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Submitted by Jessica Hemphill
Submitted by Betsy Dalton
Submitted byPix by Paige
Submitted byJessica Barnes
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Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
Submitted by Bill Norton
Submitted by Cheryl Travis
Submitted by Leanna Ward
www.shutterbuggerz.com
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Submitted by Josh Clark
Submitted by Heather Eller
Visit Our Website For The Upcoming Monthly Themes! 42
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
november 2013 Theme is "silent night" (to be printed in the December issue)
Night time photography. Any subject matter accepted as long the photo is taken in the darkness of night. email photos to email@shutterbuggerz.com (limit 5 per contest)
Submitted by: Capture the Moment Photography
Submitted by : Tim & Dawn Freidt
www.shutterbuggerz.com
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Submitted by: Kristen Carol Photography
Submitted by Sweet Nothings Photography
Submitted byAsma Khalid Submitted by Wonderland Photography
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Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
Submitted by Don Anthony
Our september 2013 Winners
Amateur Winner: Tina Little
Pro Winner: Jilly White Photography
Visit us online at
shutterbuggerz.com Submitted by Caught In The Act Photography
www.shutterbuggerz.com
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Submitted by Cheryl Travis
Submitted by Dela Williams Photography
Submitted by Josh Clark
Be Sure To Visit
shutterbuggerz.com
To Submit & View PHotos
Submitted by Jen Hood
46
Visit the website to view all the photos and to enter your photo into next month’s contest.
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