VOLUME 7 - ISSUE 3 / May 2011 / HKY
ophie Wo m a n ’ s M a g a z i n e
How To Be Fabulous ~ It’s as simple as living the country life | Page 8 Reaching Your Full Potential ~ The Outcome of Valuing Others Radically | Page 12 When Did We Grow Up? ~ And why is everything so serious now? | Page 23 shutterbuggerz pg 39
INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION
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Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn, Hundreds of bees in the purple clover, Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn, But only one mother the wide world over. - George Cooper There are so many great quotes about mothers that you could read them for a whole day and not read all of them. For most people, I pray that when you read one like the one above, your mind is drawn to very fond memories. There are some of us, however, when we read some quotes, our hearts are saddened. While everyone has a mother, not all of us had loving, nurturing mothers. Being from a very dysfunctional family, that most of my life, I longed for a “perfect” mother... you know the ...June Cleaver type. My parents were alcoholics and if you know much about that, you know that means a lot of uncertainty. One day, I would have a mother who was attractive, attentive, the best cook in the world, and very dependable. The next day, my mother was a whole other person that I couldn’t get away from fast enough. If you are a regular reader of this article, by now you are wondering what happened to your uplifting, mostly humorous writer of this article. I really hope that I am always making you think about something, even if it is on the lighter side but this time, I really wanted to share a lesson I learned. Almost my whole life, I asked God why He put me in “this family”. Why did He not put me in a family like some of my friends had. When I would stay the weekend, their mother would play games, make us special treats, come up with creative things to do, get up the next morning and fix us a fabulous breakfast and then ask us what we wanted to do for the rest of the day. Even within my extended family, I couldn’t figure out why some of my Aunts and Uncles couldn’t have been my parents. I loved being with them at their house and I loved them taking care of me. Sometimes I felt like they loved me more than my own parents did. Maybe it was getting tucked in the bed with a goodnight kiss that I missed or just being told everyday that I was their little girl. What ever it was, I asked God everyday, “Why did you put me in this family?” Even after I left home and got married, I still longed for an adoring and loving mother, even though I knew my mother loved me the best she knew how. It wasn’t until many years later that I got my answer. I was reading Rick Warren’s book titled The Purpose Driven Life and in one of those chapters he said this: Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn’t matter whether your parents were good, bad, or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom “you” he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you. While there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children. Some children may be unplanned by their parents, but they are not unplanned by God. How wonderful that was and is to me. I wouldn’t be me without them! From that day forward, I have thanked God for the parents He gave me. My parents have both died and not much really ever changed with them but how I wish I could tell them how much I loved them and how happy I am to be their daughter. Here is the real kicker...I am not perfect either! Many times, my kids have probably wished they had another mother. I couldn’t change my parents but I learned from them. Sometimes, I learned I didn’t want to do things like they did. Hopefully, my kids have learned some of the same lessons. Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms
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“I could have died!....And that makes it a lot less humorous to me! by Mandy Thomas
While the discipline was doled out by dad, the cornerstone of the family was mom. by Wayne Deloriea -
Girlfriends In God
The Front Porch
I want to be beautiful by Sharon Jaynes
...a child finds a puddle and loves it! by Judy Smith
How do I get my nails to look as good and last as long as the pros? by Teresa Pope
16| Fitness Tips Health &
Using a foam roller for toning your body. by Sharon Rashidi
Broccoli! Don’t get caught unprepared. By Leanne Ely
35| Market Was Blue! The Spring
Shades of blue at the High Point Furniture Market. Written by Susan Guest
pg 3 | Message From The Heart pg 8 | How To Be Fabulous - by Gracie pg 9 | Our Bride of the Year Winner
m o t i va t i o n
12| Full Potential
The outcome of valuing others radically. by Kim Fletcher
15| FlyLady The
Do over? Did you ever wonder how your life would be if you could go back and make a different decision? by Marla Ciley
Sophisticated | 27 Women...
Sophisticated women are leaders by Nicole Greer
Me, Myself, &
Give up the balancing “act”. By Sherré Demao
pg 24 | Our Wedding Planner Page pg 32 | Pearls & Petticoats pg 33 | A Different Kind of Recovery Ministry
| "Colors of spring” photos from shutterbuggerz.com
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by Mandy Thomas
I’ve always prided myself on being able to find the humor in all situations, no matter how questionable they might seem. Spider sighting resulting in my needing stitches? Funny. That time that my dearest friend and I strapped our newborn children onto ourselves and tried to figure out how we were going to get all of that product into her trunk, only to turn around and see that the buggy containing said product was rolling steadily down the hill away from us? Definitely funny. The night my family went to a pizzeria and my brother knocked pizza onto his lap where it lay for a whole ten seconds before he started screaming until my dad knocked it off his leg? Hilarious. But this particular instance I’m going to describe to you isn’t even remotely amusing to me. As in, maybe I should find at least one thing about it that would make me laugh, but all I can come up with is “I COULD HAVE DIED” and that makes it a lot less humorous to me. It started on a day like any other day: I was woken up by Addison clambering over me and stepping on my face, I’d had five cups of coffee while singing the theme song to whatever cartoon we were watching, and followed that up with a shower. I had just shut off the water when my mother burst in, yelling something about needing me right that moment. As quickly as I could, I dressed and followed her out onto the patio where my kids were in a frenzy, shrieking and pointing at something on the ground. A long, slithering and scaly something. That’s right, my mom had called me to come out and kill a snake. I know I’ve told too many people that story about having killed a snake, but I think I may have accidentally-on-purpose left out the bit where it was half dead, if not dead completely. We’ll say half dead. It makes me look better. Anyway, there I was, dripping wet with my clothes sticking to my skin and glaring this thing in its beady little eyes. I’d like to tell you that the sound of my children’s terror woke up some deep and buried instinct, and that I was spurred into action - killing that snake with the ferocity of a mother bear. I’d like to tell you that. The truth is that I kind of stood there and stared while screaming with my kids until my mom handed me a rake. Even then, it seemed like I should do something with the rake but I couldn’t figure out what. “Hit him!” Mom had yelled, and I still stood there, dazed. When he started to move again I did, in fact, smack him in the face with the rake. And then, he lunged at me. Yes, lunged. That’s when the screaming began in earnest. To be fair, I don’t know which of us was more frightened - me or the snake. I tried several things, and bless that snake’s cold little heart, he sat there while I tried to kill him with a rake, a shovel, a chair, and once Addison’s toy car. It was about the time that I asked my mom to bring me a towel so I could throw it over him and smash him and she brought me a tiny washcloth that wouldn’t even cover his face that he seemed to get bored and feel less threatened. Once my mom finally brought me a towel, the snake had slipped through the screen and was heading toward the woods behind my mother’s house. See? Nothing humorous at all about this.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 7
I N S P I R AT I O N
s e r u t n e v d a s i M ’s y d n a M
HOW TO BE FABULOUS! by Gracie
I’m an imposter. Yes, I admit it…I’m a city girl. However, three years ago I made the attempt to cross over to the country side! Making the move from Saks Fifth Avenue and Black Tie Events to Tractor Supply and backyard BBQ’s has been the most rewarding decision of my life. My husband, two kids, and I decided that we were ready for fresher air and a simpler life. Well, kind of. We are Nascar team owners, run a growing boutique, have several car dealerships, two dogs, a horse, six chickens, and a mule named “Kate”. Simple?? Not so much. Fun? Abso-frickin-lutely. Although, with our proverbial “Plates” overfilled (with grits and livermush of course!), we find ourselves entranced by the country ‘mystique’. There is something so incredible, especially to naïve city folk, about the simple life. I specifically find southern women fascinating. A close girlfriend of mine, who happens to be a true southern belle, can wake, make breakfast using fresh eggs, work the barn, head to the office after being taxi to three kids, and then shows up at “Girls Vino Night” looking AMAZING! How does she do this??? I have attempted this to no avail. Yesterday, no lie, I went to work with hay in the back of my hair… seriously?! Country girls know how to keep it simple and cool, while looking HOT! As a lover of fashion design, I adore the ever popular “Country Couture Chic”. You know the look…an effortless, romantic, strong feminine woman with nothing to lose. She is in control, yet as delicate as a daisy! This is a fashion statement ladies that we need to make. So, grab some sweet tea or a dirty martini (oh please, I can’t change completely!) and take a look at my three tips to “Country Couture Chic” for Spring/Summer 2011… #1. THE HAT. There is nothing sexier than a perfectly fitted cowgirl hat. For Spring/Summer the straw version, just a little disheveled, is a must. Charlie 1 Horse has a fab selection this season. Be careful to find the right fit. You don’t want to look like your wearing your daddy’s hat! Pay attention to detail as well. Rhinestones, leather, and even floral additions will customize your look…and don’t forget to tip your hat and wink when necessary! #2. THE BOOTS. I honestly believe that, in this instance, you get what you pay for. A fantastic pair of cowgirl boots should last for years. In fact, they only get better with age. Which is just like women and wine! A basic burnished brown is always popular and wearable with almost everything..It’s a classic. The fun of vibrant colors and beautiful artwork is a big trend this season as well. And yes, you can wear your boots year round. These boots are made for walkin’! #3. THE DRESS. Ahhhh, a white cotton flowy dress lying softly against sunkissed skin…how innocent yet seductive! That, my friends, is the definition of “simple elegance”. This romantic, yet completely comfy, part of your country couture is the peach in the cobbler! Be sure to pop some color with a sunflower in your hair or a bright colorful accessory. Eyelets and lace complete the look of a Steel Magnolia. Gail Sommer Germain, aka “Gracie”, is wife to Bob, mom to Sydney (15) and Robbie (11), and a Statesville, NC resident. She starts her day at her barn… but finishes by being a boutique owner and personal fashion stylist to some incredibly fabulous women!
pg 8 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
Bottom line, this Spring/Summer season make the “move”, like I did, to country. It’s refreshing, cool, calm, and incredibly beautiful. Take a deep breath of southern sunshine…
Congratulations To The 2011Sophie Woman’s Magazine
Bridal Event Of The Year Winner!
Wedding Date 5/26/2012
Muriel was presented with a Prize Package valued at over.....
A Very Special Thanks To ALL Our Vendors Who Helped Us Make This Happen! American General Life Insurance 828-328-2688 Bob Evans Catering 828-345-0200 Café Gouda 828-267-1300 Cake Monkey 828-855-0845 Carolina Carriage Company 828-261-6373 Cedar Rock Country Club 828-758-4451 Cocky Robins 828-234-5457 CPI Security 828-312-1040 Dana’s Fine Jewelry 828-466-1999 Dean’s Duets 828-308-1477 Delta Video 828-781-4793 Dream Catchers Flowers & Events 828-459-2365 State Farm Insurance 828-464-5454
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Committee Members Hen & Chicken Papers Judy Smith – Sophie Woman’s Magazine 828-328-6039 828 466-0122 Events by Design Robin Stone – The Pampered Chef 828-308-2220 828 238-8303 Mann Travels Pam Starnes – Creative Memories 828-464-6962 Mary Kay Cosmetics 828 327-4090 803-517-9224 Shawn Geiser – Shawn Geiser Photography 828 234-2792 Patty’s Cakes Twanna Kiser – Lanez Florist 828 324-7008 828-396-2738 The Peacock Inn Special Thanks to 828-464-5780 It Works Weight Loss Rick Reynolds Productions 828-294-6100 Pepsi Bottling Company 828 320-7004 828-455-0430 Gateway Conference Center 828 328-5105 It’s My Party Rentals Shutterbooth 980-225-7671 828-267-2789 The Elegant Bride 828 464-4995 JC Penney Hair Salon 866) 603-5836 Dress Barn 828 322-3816 L & L Catering Jagged Edge 828 345-1130 828-327-7505 Suzanne’s Flowers 828-396-4090 Party Lite 828 390-4050 MSC Designs 828-244-7040
Thanks to all who came out and supported us this year!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 9
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pg 10 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
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Question: Why does my home manicure never last as long as the one I get from a nail salon? What can I do to get professional results at home? Answer: Your salon manicure lasts longer because the professionals know “all the little tricks” to a great long lasting finish. First you must start with the perfect foundation. Clean the nail of any oily residue from creams and lotions or just the natural oil from your nail. To do this, you can swipe the nail surface with a cotton ball soaked in Acetone (nail polish remover) or you can gently buff the nail with a very fine emory board or nail buffer. If you use the buffing method, be sure to wipe away any dust from the nail surface. Next you must use a base coat to give polish something to adhere to. Be sure to use a BASE COAT and not just clear polish, base coats are specifically formulated to be sticky and hold your color. Some base coat products are even named “Sticky” and it is my favorite. Third- Choose a professional name brand polish. You can purchase these at most any salon. They may cost a little more than the ones you buy at a drug or discount store, but are worth the extra money due to the fact that they will last much longer without chipping and you will use fewer coats. Apply two thin coats of polish. Forth- Use a top coat, but try to avoided using a quick dry top coat, because their finish is not as hard as a regular top coat. Fifth- Apply oil to your nails at night before bed to allow nails to drink in the much needed moisture, that will not only protect your polish, but will feed your nails also. There are many nail oil products on the market, but a drop of baby oil or a rub of Vaseline will do the trick. Finally, use lotions on your nails throughout the day, and wear gloves when doing housework or gardening. If you follow all these tips, then your nails should look and last as if they were done by a professional.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 11
e d u c at i o n
m o t i va t i o n
REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: The Outcome of Valuing Others Radically by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Author, Speaker
“If we accept that life is a gift, it seems to me we must then accept the notion that we ought to do something with this gift.” Dorothy Cotton – Civil Rights Activist More and more, I am being prompted to do more with my life than culture demands. External forces compel us to live for greater achievement and making a name for ourselves. In and of themselves, these are not evil forces; but if we are not careful, we will fall into the trap of thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought to while devaluing those that our culture has deemed ‘less worthy’. When I read the emotion-packed statements (such as the above quote) by individuals who made history during the Civil Rights Movement, I am reminded of my friend Windi. While being born into different generations and different circumstances, Windi and Dorothy Cotton have both known the pain of being overlooked and undervalued. When you were introduced to Windi’s story back in December, you caught a quick glimpse into the life of this young woman who lost everything except her will to survive six years ago when a car accident robbed her of her ability to walk, her marriage, custody of her three precious children, her career and her home. An enraged driver intentionally ran her off of the Ventura Freeway and life as she knew it came to a sudden halt. What she did not know is that her unthinkable losses would be complicated by a world that would try to force the label of ‘disabled’ upon her. She watched her friends and family members drop out of her life one by one. Shortly after I founded Life Compass International, a non-profit dedicated to coming alongside the broken and hopeless of the world, I met this remarkable woman. Suicidal thoughts and a dark cloud of depression covered her world as she struggled to find someone who would journey with her. I was honored to do just that. From late night phone calls on her hardest days, to hours spent ‘coaching’ her on crafting a solid identity and faith with the power to lift her out of her hopelessness, my only regret is that her family and friends who abandoned her at the hour of her greatest need are now missing the celebration of her life. Windi was recently released from the Skilled Nursing Facility that
became ‘home’ to her over three years ago. She now holds the keys to her new apartment – a symbol of hope. There was only one problem… the apartment was nearly empty and seemed to whisper reminders of her abandonment and pain. Last week, three Life Compass Partners (myself included) came alongside of Windi to bring a bit of color, style and love to her new home. We hung photographs, re-upholstered hand-me-down chairs, rearranged the furniture and left behind many reminders that she has NOT been forgotten. While in LA, our team encountered several unexpected ‘WOW’ moments that reminded us of the great power of valuing others radically. The first reminder came from Windi herself as she asked us to thank those of you who made financial donations to Life Compass so that her new home could be transformed. RADICAL GRATITUDE is a hallmark of the life of every individual who longs to fulfill their unique potential. Then there was Mary, driver of bus #67. Amid the diesel fuel and annoying city traffic, we met this beautiful woman with a personality as warm as the Southern California sun. Our team was traveling to pick up our rental car when we met Mary. We were first stunned at her kindness and humor, but as the bus made subsequent stops along the way, we were stunned by the rudeness with which her genuine and kind greetings were met by those who boarded her bus. When we reached our destination, we stalled letting the ‘grumpy individuals’ rush ahead. As the final three leaving the bus, Mary giggled and remarked, “I guess they didn’t get the memo that this is the fun bus.” What amazed us about Mary was her security in her own identity. She would grin ever so slightly with every rude remark thrown her way, almost as if to say, “I know something about myself that you don’t know.” This was a true leader disguised as a public servant who knew her identity as a valuable woman with the power to change the world around her. As we hugged her goodbye, we found ourselves reminded of our mission. We hopped in our Jetta and headed to Windi. Remember… • Never get so busy that you fail to return a kind greeting. • Refuse to allow your own achievement to eclipse your ‘greater purpose.’ • Be on the lookout for the forgotten and overlooked individuals. • Start every day by asking yourself, “What can I do today with the great gift of my life?” Position yourselves to live out RADICAL GRATITUDE and RADICAL VALUE… you just may give the gift of HOPE to a person who will go on to change the world!
Mercy Hope and Kim Fletcher with Life Compass International meeting with Windi.
pg 12 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
Kim Fletcher is the CEO and Lead Life Coach with Kim Fletcher & Associates. Kim also passionately directs Life Compass International, a non-profit organization bringing hope and significance to lives across the nation. Contact Kim directly to learn more about crafting your own life of impact. Email: kimfletchercoach@aol. com / Web: lifecompassinternational.org / 828 327 6702.
A Perfect Smile For A Perfect Day
It has been a pleasure to be seen by Dr. Garlitz and his team throughout my orthodontic treatment. They are so helpful and professional. I am so happy with my smile. The perfect smile made my wedding day even more special!
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Katie Myers Woodle
ORTHODONTICS 382 10th Ave Dr NE Hickory NC, 28601
www.garlitzorthodontics.com www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 13
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pg 14 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
by Marla Cilley
Do Over? Did you ever sit and wonder how your life would be if you had only made a different decision? One time I was queuing up an email to go out at a later date. By accident I put yesterday’s date in the box. Programmers can be so funny sometimes. A little error message window pops up and says, “I know you had to send this message yesterday, but I just can’t do it till my time machine gets back from the shop.” Well folks we don’t have time machines and if we did would we really want to use them. Our lives are the decisions we have made. Albeit good or bad; they are the decisions that send us on our journey through life. Reminiscing is not negative but regret can take years from you. Why do we beat ourselves up over decisions we have made? We don’t have to live in regret anymore. We can release the regret by forgiving ourselves of those bad mistakes and accepting them as part of our path to where we are today. Bad decisions help us to make better choices in the future. There are many reasons we made regrettable decisions in our past. The first one had to do with our impetuous and rebellious teenage years. Those years are no different than the terrible twos. We have to prove ourselves. No one could tell us anything. We didn’t listen because we thought we knew it all. Our parents tried their best to keep us from making the same mistakes that they did, but we had to make our own mistakes in order to learn something from them. There is nothing like a dose of reality to send us in a different direction. We may not have a time machine to change the past but we do have a type of a crystal ball and it is in our heads. The power of that crystal ball comes from all those decisions we have made in the past and what we have learned from the good ones and the bad ones. Those choices become the filters that help us to process the decisions we have to make every day. We don’t get a “do over” in real life! Or do we? We are destined to continue to make the same mistakes if we don’t learn from them. One New Year’s Day I used my crystal ball filter system to figure out why I had trouble keeping my home clean. When I examined the system that had worked once it was easy to see the mistakes that I had made in using
the Sidetracked Home Executive card file; it was a great system. In my impetuous rebellious state of mind, I had to do it my way! Doesn’t that sound familiar? The first thing I figured out was that I had never established a habit. Then I noticed how hard I was on myself by trying to do everything at once in addition to piling on more and more to do! I decided to be nice to myself by only picking one habit at a time to practice. I even gave myself a grace period of ten days; instead of beating myself up when I would miss a day, I would jump back in without having to start back over. We hate that defeated feeling of failure. There were no excuses because I didn’t have to be perfect to establish a habit; I had a whole month to do it. The rule was I could not skip two days in a row. Anybody could do it. That first habit was shining my sink. When that worked I added another habit the next month. Each new habit was setting the foundation for keeping my home clean and shiny as well as getting rid of those awful regrets. We don’t have to be stuck in our own Groundhog Day Movie. We have a choice to use our filter system to help us make different decisions. We have our brains that can think. We have the ability to take advice instead of rebelling against it. We are a crystal ball because the choices we make today set the path for our future. Are you ready to FLY by letting go of your regrets and forgiving yourself? Our choices have made us who we are today. When we learn from our mistakes we can use them as a filter to keep us from making those same bad choices again. For more help getting rid of your CHAOS, check out her website and join her free mentoring group at www.FlyLady.net or her book, Sink Reflections published by Random House and her New York Times Best Selling book, Body Clutter published by Simon and Schuster. Copyright 2010 Marla Cilley Used by permission in this publication.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 15
m o t i va t i o n
I N S P I R AT I O N
by Wayne DeLoriea
There was a very popular song written nearly 100 years ago. The song was written before television, when people gathered together around a piano, in a neighbor’s parlor, and sang songs, told stories or sat next to a large wooden radio in their living rooms, and listened to the current events of the day. People socialized and relationships were important. In fact, it used to be that family came right after God. While the discipline was doled out by dad, the cornerstone of the family was mom. Mothers really meant something to kids way back then. Kids came to mom about everything…both good and bad. If the family was blessed, dad had a job. Unfortunately, that job might mean he left before the kids got up and worked all day, until after they went to bed at night. He might be gone for days or weeks at a time, because the country was still very rural and people just didn’t jump in the car and go to the convenience store. Things were really spread out. Mom was the anchor of the family. Kids actually came to her for love and advice. When she spoke, they listened. Kids watched their mothers and learned how to navigate through life. Mothers were responsible for EVERYTHING from gardening, cooking and cleaning to washing and ironing of clothes. She was mother, nurse, teacher, and the moral influence. Moms often did small jobs for others in the community to earn a few extra pennies, to make ends meet. Yes, I said pennies. Mothers supported each other and watched out for every kid in the neighborhood. If a mom told you to do or not to do something…it was as if YOUR mom was telling you. Times were as hard then, as they are now…maybe even tougher. It used to be that when you said the words ‘Mom or mother’ it evoked a warm feeling and often, actually brought a tear to the eye. Yes, mothers used to be revered and held in high esteem. To be a mother was a high calling and usually meant that your life took a drastic turn from self to service. A mother’s life revolved around her family. Her family became her identity. The song I mentioned above is M-O-T-H-E-R and here are the lyrics. They confirm her as the rock of society…back 100 years ago. M is for the million things she gives me O means only that she’s soft to hold T for the things she tries to teach me H is for her heart of purest gold E for her eyes with love light shining R means right and right she’ll always be Put them all together they spell Mother, A word that means the world to me. What happened? It makes me sad to write this in the past tense. Yes, it’s true we still honor the DAY…but do we honor the women? We still celebrate Mother’s Day and buy cards, take mom to dinner and bring her flowers, but do we still revere her? Do we still listen when she talks? Do we still
pg 16 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
wipe a tear at the very mention of her name? I think we have let Hollywood and glamour, business and greed, and a slew of other influences take us down a path, that we were promised would lead to happiness and leisure, but in fact have devalued and eroded such things as ethics, morals, and loyalty. Don’t get me wrong…there have been unscrupulous people all through history. The difference is that, now-a-days society makes semi-heroes of these people. The media glamorizes them for 15 minutes and we have sayings like, “It’s ALL good.” Well, NO it isn’t ALL good! We need to get back to our core ethics… the values that built the greatest nation the world has ever known. By the looks of things…the greatest nation the world will EVER know. It’s good to grow, but we seem to have grown out of some good things…thrown the baby out with the bath water and we need to go back and get the baby. Mother…Mom… LOVE, WARM, SAFE, DRY, FULL, HAPPY, SECURE…ya get it? Sometimes, it’s good to stop and go back…to go back and reclaim something of worth. It’s not too late…and like any journey, it only takes a committed decision. Let’s put moms back on the pedestal they deserve to be on. Let’s make FAMILY what it used to be. Hollywood, business and government have no place telling the masses what is important. They have no business defining morals, ethics and values for us…though they will always try to do so. Why…they are even trying to tell us that we have mis-defined the very word…’FAMILY’. Family deserves to be right after God and MOTHER is the heart of the family. Without her, there will be no model of love... no more true selflessness. Business and government will move in to take control of every aspect of our lives. Mom…I love you for all the wonderful things you provided me as I grew into the man I am. You were always there with advice, love, support, hugs and kisses. You taught me that real men can have feelings without drama. You made it okay for me to show my softer side as much as the woodsy lumberjack side. You taught me honesty, loyalty and ethics. You modeled a love for God, family and country and I will follow those all of my days, no matter what influence the ‘TIMES’ try to make upon those. You taught me what is important. I dearly and truly love you for that. Happy Mother’s Day Mum. Your Son, Owner & Operator of The CORE Fitness Studio, NASCAR Coach, Master Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Sports Nutritionist Wayne DeLoriea, One of NASCAR’s most successful and decorated coaches, certified in 79 countries around the world and author of Coach Without A Whistle joins forces with Healthy Lifestyles to help you realize your nutrition and fitness goals.
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I N S P I R AT I O N
I Want To Be Beautiful by Sharon Jaynes
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13 NIV).
Friend to Friend
I was sitting in a crowded restaurant with my family when she walked by in her full-length white satin ball gown delicately trimmed in lace and studded with tiny “jewels.” Crinoline swished as she moved across the room, a rhinestone tiara sparkled on her head, and pearl studded slippers accentuated her feminine feet. Golden ringlets framed her rosy cheeks and puckered lips glistened with a hint of gloss. She knew she was beautiful and glanced around at the admiring smiles of onlookers as she walked through the crowd. She was three-years-old. I’m not sure when the dream to be beautiful enters a little girl’s mind, but I do know when the dream ends – when the preacher says, “may she rest in peace.” In my book, Becoming Spiritually Beautiful, I told about my shenanigans as a little girl who wanted to be a grown up beauty. I remember as a little girl sneaking into my mother’s closet and slipping my child-size feet into her size seven high heels. I’d also stand on my tiptoes on a chair, pull a hat off the top shelf, and plop it on my head like an oversized lamp shade. Her satin evening jacket with sleeves that hung eight inches below my finger tips gave a nice elegant touch to my outfit. A lady going to a party would never be caught without “putting on her face,” so I crept into the bathroom, opened the forbidden drawer, and created a clownish work of art on the palette of my face. Red rouge circles on my cheeks, heaps of blue eye shadow on my munchkin lids, and smeared orange lipstick far exceeding the proper border were finished off with a dusting of facial powder with an oversized brush. From the time a little girl stretches on her tiptoes to get a peek in the mirror, she desires to be beautiful – perhaps like her mommy. As the girl moves into the teen years, she experiments with makeup, delves into fashion, and attempts various hairstyles. Then it’s on to makeover ideas in magazines and on talk shows. If one idea doesn’t work – well there’s always next month. I believe the dream to be beautiful is not simply an American obsession, but at the very core of womanhood all around the world. Various cultures have their ideas of what constitutes true beauty. National Geographic reported that on the border of Burma and Thailand, members of the Kayan tribe begin their beauty rituals at age 5 by wearing brass rings around their necks. As they grow older, more rings are added, and eventually their necks elongate to look like a giraffe’s. For these women, the shiny brass rings are the ultimate sign of female elegance and status. In Maori, women consider it beautiful to tattoo their lips dark blue. Young girls in the Karo tribe in southern Ethiopia allow their elders to cut scars onto their stomachs which they believe will make them more beautiful and able to attract a husband. In a West African country, Mauritania, they believe that bigger is better and have practiced the ritual of force feeding young girls to plump them up. Interestingly, Dove posted on their Facebook page that only 2% of the women around the world describe themselves as beautiful.
And while various cultures have their own ideas of what true beauty looks like, women go through great lengths to achieve a look that does not come naturally. John Eldredge, in his book Wild at Heart, describes three longings that lie at the heart of every man: a battle to fight, a beauty to rescue, an adventure to live. He also ventures to say that women have three longings of the heart as well: to be fought for, to share in an adventure, and to have her beauty unveiled. “Not to conjure,” Eldredge explains, “but to unveil. Most women feel the pressure to be beautiful from very young, but that is not what I speak of. There is also a deep desire to simply and truly be the beauty and be delighted in. Most little girls will remember playing dress up, or wedding day, or ‘twirling skirts,’ those flowing dresses that were perfect for spinning around in. She’ll put her pretty dress on, come into the living room and twirl. What she longs for is to capture her daddy’s delight.” Friend, you are beautiful. You have captured your Heavenly Father’s delight. You are an incredible masterpiece fashioned by the Eternal Artist. Ponder these words of David: For you created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you When I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.(Psalm 139:13-16)
Dear Father, forgive me for complaining about Your masterpiece when I look into the mirror. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank You for crafting my eyes that see, my ears that hear, my mouth that speaks, and all the amazing organs that work in tandem that I can’t even see. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Now It’s Your Turn
Today, make a list of all that you are thankful for about your body. It should be a long list! Don’t forget all your inner workings. No matter how beautiful a person is on the outside, if she is not beautiful on the inside, it will come through. Who is someone you know that is beautiful on the inside? Consider letting her know how beautiful you think she is! I’d love to hear what you think makes someone truly beautiful. Let’s chat at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes. Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 725 Matthews, NC 28106 firstname.lastname@example.org www.girlfriendsingod.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 19
e d u c at i o n
by Sharon Rashidi
The Foam Roller If you have visited a gym lately and have noticed a round spherical shaped foam object and wondered what it is used for, then you have come across the foam roller. It comes in different colors, lengths and widths and offers the same benefits as a deep tissue massage but without the high price. The main purpose of a foam roller is for self-massage or myofasical release. Fascia is the soft tissue component of the connective tissue that supports and protects structures in the body, including muscle. Fascia tends to get to get tight or restricted due to overuse, trauma, or inactivity. This can result in pain, muscle tension and diminished blood flow and circulation to the soft tissues within the body.
Step Two-Bring your hands overhead with both elbows together. Hold that position while gently rolling your body back and forth. If you feel any sensitive areas hold it until the pain dissipates. Tip: Hold the static stretch for approximately 30 seconds.
Exercise #2 Glutes and Lower Back Step One- Sit on the roller and place your hands behind you on the floor.
Not only does the foam roller stretch muscles and tendons but it also can be used for core strengthening. All the muscles in the back and stomach are engaged as a person tries to maintain balance while using the foam roller. Before using a foam roller keep in mind the following pointers: 1. As with an exercise always check with your Doctor before beginning. 2. Warm up your muscles beforehand for 5-10 minutes. 3. Drink plenty of water before, during and after the exercises. 4. Move slowly on the roller. 5. Gently roll your body back and forth. 6. Stay on soft tissue and avoid bones and joints such as the knees and elbows.
Exercise #1 Upper Back/ Rhomboids Step One- Place the foam roller under your upper back. Walk your feet out and lift your hips up into a bridge.
pg 20 Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine May 2011
Step Two-Cross one leg over the other and then lean into your leg. Keep breathing and hold that position while gently rolling your body back and forth. If you feel any sensitive areas hold it until the pain dissipates. Tip: Complete both the right and left sides of the body. Hold the static stretch for approximately 30 seconds. It is normal to feel pain or tension when you are working sensitive areas. Breathe deeply, and the tension will subside in 15-30 seconds. Sharon Rashidi B.S Health Education Owner of The Perfect Workout www.theperfectworkout.net 828 465-4055 Monthly Foam Roller Stretch Classes
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by Judy Smith
Someone wrote: I like to look in puddles when I smile, they smile. when I laugh, they laugh. and when I cry, they don’t mind getting wet. Sometimes we are like those puddles. When we smile, someone will smile back at us and when we laugh, sometimes others will laugh. When we get up in the morning, do we think of how we might make some people feel today? Will we make them smile or will we make them cry? We don’t always choose the right words or reactions and we end up hurting someone. Most of the time it is over something really small or insignificant. How serious do we take things? Most of the time, it is way too serious. As children, we just let things roll along but as adults we get bogged down with the little things. If we learned to enjoy the moments more, we would really do ourselves a favor. There might be more laughter in our lives and if we can laugh more, then, just maybe, we can pass it on. We might be better equipped to handle the bigger storms of life. After all, there is usually a rainbow after the storm. So if you see a grandmother jumping around in the puddles, don’t commit me. Come join me! Did you just hear a roll of thunder? I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and.….a child finds a puddle and loves it! ■
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 23
i n s p i r at i o n
Front Porch The
With the warmer weather comes unpredictable storms. What do we do with those storms? Sometimes I think that I would like to run out and just stand in the rain or better yet, maybe I would have more fun jumping in the mud puddles. What would happen if I did? Well, one thing is, my husband might have me committed. After all, how many grandmothers do you see jumping around in puddles? I am on the road quite a lot and I don’t see that everyday. Quite often, though, I see children doing that very thing. What is the difference? Did we not do that as children? I was out shopping the other day and it had just finished storming. As I was going in a store, I saw this mother with her little boy trailing behind coming across the parking lot. She was dodging the puddles while he was trying very hard NOT to miss one! Laughing to myself as I watched them, when they got to the car and she realized how wet he was, she asked him if he missed any and he just nodded and smiled. He was having the time of his life. Now, I don’t know how you would react to that and I am not sure how I would react to that on some days. I loved this mother’s reaction to her son. She smiled and gave him a big hug before she helped him pull off his wet shoes to climb in the car. I wonder what they talked about on the way home? It made me smile and I was happy she didn’t react in a negative way.
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pg 26 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching Myrtle Clara Catherine Charlotte Wittkop Hehl raised me. Gramma Myrt was named after every single one of her grandmothers for a reason. As a child, I marveled at the length of her name. It delighted me to say it, tell my friends about her unique moniker and to hear Gramma’s stories time and time again of the women who lead her in many different ways to become the woman she was. Why would my great grandmother, Sadie Wittkop, give her only little girl of six children this name? To make certain no one missed the love, lessons, and a legacy for being a strong woman of character. In this name is a call to awareness. Awareness that I too must be a sophisticated woman who leads and leaves an imprint on those I touch. According to Wikipedia, leadership is defined as: The “process of social influence in which one person can enlist the aid and support of others in the accomplishment of a common task”. The key word in this definition is: influence. It’s the ability to motivate someone to learn, to grow into his or her ordained potential. Influence must be approached with our whole being. As sophisticated women we must use our head, heart, gut, and spirit to affect others. We must demonstrate character. These are traits that can be celebrated for generations.
Sophisticated women are Wise. Gramma Myrt shared her hard won lessons. Every task we worked on together was full of tips, shortcuts, and best practices. She would always say, “Let me show you how to do it. Watch me.” Here’s how you can embody wisdom: •
Embrace your unique viewpoint…give a new perspective.
Make clarity your aim…have temperance.
Be disciplined to stay with a task until you master it…be diligent.
Sophisticated women are Courageous. Gramma Myrt had a sense of urgency. There was never any time to waste. She knew problems didn’t fix themselves and she would always say, “Get on with it.” Gramma lead with her gut and showed me courage. Here’s how can you demonstrate courage: •
Take a stand on a conviction…demonstrate confidence.
Explore unchartered territory boldly...be brave.
Commit to your work and complete what you start…have integrity.
Sophisticated women are Leaders. Gramma Myrt was enthusiastic. She was in touch with the ideal that she was not in this life alone. She had an inner spark that shed light on what was possible. If she didn’t know how to do something, she would always say, “God willing, we can make it happen.” And they did. Here’s how you can lead with spirit: •
Love to learn…be receptive.
Engage the future…be inspired.
Invent new ways of doing things…be creative.
Sophisticated women embrace Humanity. Gramma Myrt loved deeply. With six children of her own and twentyone grand “babes”, she embraced the beauty and the unpleasant side of individuals. Her heart overflowed through a life of dedicated letter writing, package sending, and birthday celebrating! Her greatest gift was her counsel around relationships. When I would lament about the behavior of other kids at school or the cruelness of my brother she would always say, “Honey, kill’em with kindness.” Here’s how you can influence with high regard to humanity: •
Always be yourself….authenticity creates trust.
Be nice…understand your behavior has consequences be considerate.
Build friendships wherever you go…be a diplomat.
Nicole Greer, PPCC is a professional life and business coach. She works with the TILT360 Leadership Model, that Gramma Myrt embodied. You too can be a woman of character and bring the Art of FULL TILT leadership to your life and your organization. At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to indentify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. Join me on the PATH to move forward with authenticity, skill and confidence. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 27
m o t i va t i o n
e d u c at i o n
The Dinner Diva Broccoli
By Leanne Ely, C.N.C I have been going through Broccoli Block. You know, when you forget to turn on the veggies and you have your dinner ready to go but the veggies are sitting on the stovetop, cold, raw and just waiting for someone to turn them on and get them cooked? Why is that? I think the reason is we are zooming around the kitchen, multitasking as we should be and for me anyway, the stove isn’t where my prep area is (it’s to my back) and I just simply forget. Not always, but sometimes. It ticks me off! I’ve been cooking for a LONG time and to forget to turn on the veggies is outside of my realm of thinking, or so I thought. I’ve thought about the old adage, out of sight, out of mind and thought, that’s the ticket! So I’ve taken to moving my prepped veggies (pot and all) and putting it on the countertop where I am preparing the evening meal. Now it’s in my line of vision and I can still stay preoccupied with all the stuff I was so preoccupied with before, but now I won’t forget to turn on the veggies! If you’re having Broccoli Block, maybe you want to fix it too, by putting whatever it is you’re forgetting, right in the line of fire, so you see it and remember to do it! Part of getting dinner on the table every night is getting all the components ready at the same time. Doesn’t take rocket science, but you do have to think about it! Here’s a recipe to make your next dinner a success, especially if you’ve got summer heat to deal with—
Pasta Salad with White Beans
Serves 6 1 (16 ounce) package fusilli pasta 1 cup canned white beans, drained and rinsed 5 ounces smoked turkey or regular ham, chopped (or omit) 4 plum tomatoes, chopped 1 small red bell pepper, seeded, deribbed and cut in long, thin slices 10 Kalamata olives, pitted and halved (or use black olives) 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped
EASY BALSAMIC VINAIGRETTE 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 clove garlic, pressed 1/2 cup olive oil Salt and pepper to taste
Directions: • Cook pasta according to package directions. • While pasta is cooking, make dressing (see below) Drain cooked pasta, rinse under cold water and set aside. • In a large bowl, combine remaining salad ingredients, add the pasta, vinaigrette and toss lightly to mix. • Dressing: Mix all ingredients together, whisking the olive oil in gradually at the end, until dressing is slightly thickened. Season with salt and pepper. Per Serving: 424 Calories; 21g Fat; 12g Protein; 46g Carbohydrate; 2g Dietary Fiber; 14mg Cholesterol; 409mg Sodium. Exchanges: 3 Grain (Starch); 1/2 Lean Meat; 1/2 Vegetable; 0 Fruit; 3 1/2 Fat; 0 Other Carbohydrates.
Leanne Ely is a New York Times bestselling author of Body Clutter and the Saving Dinner series. The Dinner Diva syndicated newspaper column appears in 250 newspapers nationwide. Learn how to cook great and save significant money with the Dinner Diva?s menus, recipes and shopping lists at www. savingdinner.com
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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 29
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pg 30 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
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By Sherré DeMao
Give Up the Balancing “Act” The problem with the balance mindset is that it is continuously focusing on what is out of balance. We are reacting versus being proactive in our attempts to achieve this elusive idea of balance. Too many women are like the vaudeville act of an entertainer feverishly spinning plates on thin lines of wire. At first we are adept at keeping the multitude of plates spinning. But then before we know it, we are rushing here, there and everywhere — as one plate, and then another starts to wobble — in an effort to keep them spinning. Does this sound like you? In the process, you start to wear out. You are doing this all on your own, or at least it feels that way, and you wish there were two or three others to help you keep all these plates spinning, because work/life balance just feels like sacrifice and a lot of work. The problem with the “balance” mindset is that the focus is always on what is out of balance. You are always rushing to that “wobbling plate” to get it spinning again. You are continuously reacting versus being proactive in your attempts to achieve this balance. Balance becomes the ultimate focus. You may feel as though you are never able to get ahead or stay ahead of all that you must keep going. The other frustrating aspect of trying to “balance” is that it involves adding and taking away in order to equalize, often requiring you to give something up that you may not want to give up. You might have fewer plates spinning, but then you feel like you are missing out on something or that you gave up too soon. When operating under this mindset, it is no wonder you feel pulled in a million different directions on a daily basis. But don’t beat yourself up. The whole work/life balance approach has forced you into this frustration mode. This is why I challenge you and everyone to shift to focusing on work/ life synergy instead. Going back to the very first column in this series, the critical aspect of shifting from work/life balance to work/life synergy is in focusing on the three aspects of who you are and honoring them in your work and your life. Your work and your life are a product of you. You are not a product of your work and life. This is why work/life synergy makes more sense. You are synergizing them through being all that you can be. In looking at the side bar referencing, Me, Myself and Inc., how are you engaging the three aspects of who you are to empower you to do more, be more, and accomplish more? Answer these questions to see if they could help you shift from “creating balance” to “creating synergy.”
How are you allowing your community, friends and family to support you in all that you are trying to do?
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Me, Myself, & . c In
How are you sharing your frustrations and challenges with your community, friends and family to see if they have ideas or resources that could help you? How could you be a resource to others to allow them to be a resource to you in other ways?
How are you nurturing yourself and continuing to grow? How are you allowing what you are most passionate about exist in your everyday life and at work?
How are you sharing what you want to accomplish on a personal level at work for different perspectives, ideas and options? How are you sharing what you want to accomplish professionally with friends, family or out in the community for different perspectives, ideas and options?
If in reading the questions above, you either had never thought about it in quite that way or feel as though one of those aspects of you simply cannot be a focus right now, then you are now starting to get a taste of how synergy can empower you. Reread those questions again and as you read them repeat these important promises, also mentioned in a previous column and in the side bar. 1) I will find a way or make a way while helping others find a way or make a way; 2) I will not feel guilty about making life easier for myself; and 3) I will be open to all possible resources and support. Synergy feeds, nurtures and builds upon what is already in place. It is able to pull in more of what is desired with ease, at just the right moment because it is empowered by the three promises. Synergy has each component working with the other. Synergy doesn’t force you to take away what you really want or The three aspects of YOU! make you feel you Me = The friends, family and community YOU. are ready to come Myself = The individual YOU. crashing down. Synergy is energy. Inc. = The work, professional business YOU. It gives you a sense of empowerment Three Promises: versus depleting • I will find a way or make a way while your power. It helping others find a way or make a way will enable you to • I will not feel guilty about making life juggle your goals easier for myself and responsibilities effortlessly and • I will be open to all possible resources and joyfully every step support of the way.■
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 31
Pearls & Petticoats> Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too. Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. Look out: What it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own. Show off: A child who is more talented than yours. Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children. Verbal: Able to whine in words Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
pg 32 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you’ll see what it’s like!” ~Unknown “If I had a flower for each time I thought of My Mother, I could walk in my garden forever.” ~ Unknown “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” ~Phyllis Diller “You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.” - William D. Tammeus. “By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.” ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh “Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.” ~Unknown
A Different Kind of Recovery Ministry! By Susan Jackson Wilson Hi, my name is Susan and I am a great believer in Jesus Christ and I have struggled in the past with holding back forgiveness and carrying around resentment. Today, I know I do not have to carry these burdens alone, I have God on my side and He is here to carry me through! For over five (5) years, Christ Church in Mountain View, NC has hosted a 12-Step recovery ministry known as Celebrate Recovery. Celebrate Recovery is based on the 12 steps of AA but unlike AA, it relates its teachings through biblical scriptures. Celebrate Recovery was founded by Pastor John Baker with Pastor Rick Warren’s blessing in 1991 at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA. Today Celebrate Recovery is in over 10,000 churches and over 500,000 people have completed the program. This program has also gone international over the past few years! Although Celebrate Recovery is based on the 12-Steps of AA, this ministry goes way beyond being a ministry for recovering alcoholics. These 12-Steps can be applied to any and all hurts, habits and hangups people deal with on a daily basis. These hurts, habits and hangups are “speed bumps” that keep you from having a true and healthy relationship with God and others! Unfortunately, when people see the word recovery, they automatically think drugs and alcohol – they don’t think about anger, depression, divorce, gambling, eating disorders, financial struggles, abuse, co-dependency or resentment (and this list of hurts, habits and hang-ups can go on and on). This recovery word also gives them the misconception that Celebrate Recovery is not for them; however, Celebrate Recovery is for everyone! If you have ever been hurt or if you have hurt someone – there is a place for you at Celebrate Recovery. In November, 2005, my world as I knew it was turned upside down! It was time to pack my bags, pack my daughter’s bags and leave my husband. Over the past 10 years our lives were consumed with living by the world’s sinful ways. We had no true foundation in our lives and now we were looking at separation and possible divorce. This is not how I had seen my life when I got married in April, 1995. A few days after I left, my husband was invited by a longtime friend to attend a local Celebrate Recovery meeting – he was hooked from the first meeting! Over the weeks that followed he repeatedly asked me to go with him but church was the last place I wanted to be (especially since we all know that in order to attend church we have to have our lives ‘all together’ don’t we?!), and least of all with him – however, eventually I gave in and agreed to go. Celebrate Recovery is a safe place where you can lay down your hurts, habits and hang-ups without being judged! You will meet people who have walked in your shoes. You will hear personal testimonies and realize you are not alone in your hurts! And most importantly, you will see that there is hope! You can smile again, you can laugh again and you can love again! During the first open share group meeting I attended, I was hearing all these stories and what these ladies had been through from childhood abuse to divorce to depression – but what got my attention the most was they were now laughing and smiling! They had allowed God to come
into their hearts and take away the pain they had carried for so many years – I saw the hope in their eyes. Celebrate Recovery is all about letting go and letting God! In order for us to live happy lives, we have to let go of the past and start looking forward to the future. Celebrate Recovery gives you tools to break the chains that are binding you from a truly happy life! After continuing to attend Celebrate Recovery for several months, I finally realized the only way I was going to break free from holding back forgiveness and carrying around resentment was to fully forgive my husband for the pain he had caused me. By doing this, our marriage was fully reconciled! That was over five (5) years ago and we are stronger now than we ever were and the reason for that is because God is finally at the center of our marriage and not on the sidelines where we had put Him before! We learned we are not in control and that we cannot go through life without Him! Life is good! Celebrate Recovery meetings are available all across North Carolina and the United States! At a Celebrate Recovery meeting you will experience a worship service where you will either hear a lesson or a personal testimony and after worship you will be invited to attend an open share group! Open share groups are a very important part of truly working your recovery. In group, you will hear other people who have been there and done that – this is where your true recovery begins. Remember everyone is broken in some way or other – it’s a matter of recognizing it and asking for God’s help (and the support of others) in dealing with it before it gets the best of you and those around you! Please visit www.celebraterecovery.com to find a meeting close to you! I promise you won’t be sorry! Thanks for letting me share!
Are you tryng to do life on your own...you don’t have to Celebrate Recovery is a Christian based 12-Step Recovery Ministry for anyone and everyone with ANY kind of hurt, habit & hang-up It is NOT just about dugs & alcohol! Celebrate Recovery is a safe place to find hope, peace and sanity.
Join us every Friday night at Christ Church 2416 Zion Church Road Hickory, NC 28602 828-294-6858 Ext. 208 All calls and emails are confidential! Please visit www.celebraterecovery.com for a complete list of all local and national Celebrate Recovery Meetings!
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 33
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pg 34 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
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by Susan Guest, ASID The High Point market was alive this year as attendees from all over the world came to view the latest introductions in the home furnishings industry. Flowers and trees were in bloom, music played, and the city was a hub of activity. As I trekked hallways, showrooms, and sidewalks all over High Point; I noted several trends that were everywhere-regardless of quality or price point. Blue was the “it” color-ranging from soft sea foam to graphite. Just about every lamp or accessory showroom had at least one collection of iridescent blue that was the major seller. Gray was still popular and mixed well with yellow, lilac, plum, or red. Another popular color was light purple. This was paired with gray and chartreuse. I was shocked to see hints of tea rose (formerly known as mauve) used as accents. Mixed with gray and spring green, the tea rose actually looked very hip. If you haven’t changed your mauve and blue from the last fashion wave of the 80’s, you may be in luck! Textures were very earthy this year. I saw lots of linen looking upholstery fabrics highlighted with dragonflies, script, and embroidery. Embroidered letters were used on pillows and lamp shades. Cursive writing embellished rugs, fabrics, and walls all over High Point. The big finish on everything from tables to sofa legs was weathered wood in shades of white or gray. Shells were popular on lamp bases, chandeliers, pillows, and balls. Exotic naturals seemed to be a theme this year with lots of motherof-pearl, sea coral, and reclaimed wood. One of my favorite trends was the use of the “Ikat” pattern. Ikat is a reverse dyeing process similar to tie dye that creates a cool geometric design. Today the pattern is sometimes printed or woven to give the effect of fabrics that have been popular for centuries around the globe. A pillow in an ikat pattern can add fun and excitement to a tired room. The most shocking trend I noted was the use of a traditional item in an eye popping color. Antique looking rugs were woven in hot pink, citron, and bright aqua. Even some crystal chandeliers were shown in hot pink and orange. Ancient artifacts were used on lamps and art, but with a metallic gold or silver finish. One common motif was the peacock. Besides the peacock body used as an accessory, the peacock feather was infused in rugs, drapery, and pillows. Another design that I still saw used at market was the bubble motif. Circles were used in lighting, pillows, and even on doors of furniture. It was so nice to see a hub of activity in High Point again. It was also nice to see new and exciting products to tempt the taste buds and remind me why I am still enamored with the interior design business after all these years.
Susan Guest, ASID is an awardwinning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 35
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Spring Market Has The Blues
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pg 36 Sophie Woman’s Magazine May 2011
Local Youth Hold Auction for Canadian Worship Tour Over the entrance to a chapel in Scotland, hangs a small sign that reads, “Bidden or not bidden, God is with us.” It is this reassuring message that Ron Sinclair, the Director of Music and Creative Arts at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Hickory, uses as this year’s Crossflame Worship Concert Tour theme. He remembers, “I noticed the sign while touring with Crossflame to Scotland in 2006. The truth of that statement resonates with our young choir members as they come to understand that God is with them always – even when things get tough. Especially when things get tough.”
This year’s tour theme is The public is invited to attend the “Bidden or Not Bidden, God is Crossflame Youth Choir 15th Annual With Us.” Crossflame member, Auction on Saturday afternoon, May 7, Morgan Murphy, created 2011 at the Family Life Center of St. accompanying artwork. Luke’s United Methodist Church.
Every summer for the last fifteen years, Crossflame Youth Choir, under the direction of Ron Sinclair, has traveled the southeast and beyond, performing a mixture of sacred and secular music at concert halls and churches. Comprised of middle school and high school students from five counties, Crossflame incorporates vocals, instrumentation, drama, visual art, and dance into its performances. The dedicated choir members rehearse every Monday afternoon throughout the school year at
Auction items include furniture, pottery, framed art, antiques and collectibles. Cooking lessons, dinners, murals, microdermabrasion sessions, massages, and other highly-valued services are also up for bid. Crossflame is still accepting items for the auction. If you would like to donate, please contact Ron Sinclair at 828-327-9837 or email@example.com.
The church is located at 52 16th Avenue NW in Hickory, across the street from Viewmont Elementary School.
Crossflame Youth Choir 2011
St. Luke’s United Methodist Church. On June 14, all of their hard work will pay off as Crossflame embarks on its 15th tour – this time to Canada. Ron Sinclair offers, “We have 40 youth and 20 adult chaperones touring this year. Choir members and their families work very hard all year to raise money so that everyone who wants to go can go on tour. The annual auction is by far our biggest fundraiser. It truly is a community event. Everybody has a lot of fun. Our goal this year is to raise $16,000 so we’re counting on the involvement and generosity of the community.”
St. Luke’s Kids of the Kingdom Children’s Choir presents
The silent auction portion lasts from 4:00 until 6:00 with the live auction beginning at 6:30. At 6:00, the St. Luke’s Hispanic ministry will be serving a homemade Mexican buffet dinner. Dinner costs $10.00 per person. Tables of eight can be reserved for $70.00. The proceeds of the meal and auction will benefit Crossflame and the Hispanic ministry. Dinner seating is limited, so reserve your spot today by calling Ron Sinclair at 828-327-9837. - Lindsay Barrick
15th Annual Crossflame Worship Concert Tour
St. Luke’s United Methodist Church 828-327-9837 www.slumc.org All proceeds benefit Crossflame Youth Choir and the Hispanic Ministry of St. Luke’s.
www.sophiewomansmagazine.com pg 37
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The press often takes credit for the fact we still live in a free country. And while this claim has an element of truth to it, much more is to be said for those who credit our military, particularly those who have fallen in battle fulfilling their obligation to their country. It is for these brave souls that we celebrate Memorial Day tomorrow. Memorial Day honors men and women who died while serving in the American military. According to history.com, it was originally referred to as Decoration Day because its central form of celebration had loved ones decorating Civil War soldiers’ graves with flowers. Gen. John A. Logan, who headed an organization of former sailors and soldiers, is credited with declaring the first such celebration on May 5, 1868. Gen. James Garfield, who was later to become President of the United States, gave a speech at Arlington National Cemetery that day, after which 20,000 Union and Confederate graves were decorated by 5,000 in attendance. Several towns in both the north and the south claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day. Pres. Lyndon Johnson, in 1966, awarded the honor to Waterloo, New York. According to history.com, the President chose this community because it had celebrated the day annually since 1866 by closing businesses and having its residents decorate the graves of soldiers with flowers and flags. After World War I, Memorial Day observances were expanded to include those who had died in all America’s wars. It wasn’t until 1971 that Congress granted Memorial Day national holiday status and cemented the annual event as the last Monday in May. For many, Memorial Day is a time of relaxation, getting with family and enjoying a cookout. There is nothing wrong with this. But we should also make sure we remember the real reason behind it all and that without the sacrifice of those the day honors we would not be free to enjoy living in what is still the home of the brave and the land of the free.
Our Monthly Feature
shutterbuggerz The Theme for April was
“Colors of Spring”
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography
Submitted by Jessica Barnes
Submitted by Amber Wiseman Photography
Submitted by Erin Annas
www.shutterbuggerz.com pg 39
Submitted by Amanda Carson Photography
Submitted by Melissa Cockman Photography
Submitted by Melanie Johnson
Submitted by Cindy Craven Photography
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography
pg 40 Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine May 2011
Submitted by Michelle Hrin Photography
Enter Your Photos At shutterbuggerz.com
Submitted by Michael Lail
Local photos of everyday people, places, and events as seen through the eyes of the area's professional and amateur photographers!
how this works
Each month our readers submit photos to our web site via email, based on the “Montlhy Theme” (visit the website for a list of upcoming themes). During that month, visitors to our web site at shutterbuggerz.com will vote on their favorite photo(s). Each month, the winning photographer (professional and amateur) will receive a prize.
Professional photographers will receive a free 1/4 page ad space in the next issue of Sophie Woman’s Magazine. The amateur winner will receive a $25 Gift Certificate to a local restaurant of their choosing. Promotional apparel provided by:
Submitted by Capture Life Photography
Please read the submission guidelines and disclaimers on our web site at shutterbuggerz.com. 2010_Sophie_Ad_11-3-10.pdf
www.shutterbuggerz.com pg 41
Submitted by Laura Kimbrell Photography
Submitted by Brian P. Streett Photography
Submitted by www.rgrayphotography.com
Submitted by Beautiful Moments Photography
pg 42 Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine May 2011
Submitted by Tonya Lowman Photography
Submitted by Seatta Jaekel
Submitted by Amanda Carson Photography
www.shutterubggerz.com pg 43
Submitted by Cindy Craven Photography
Submitted by Amber Wiseman Photography
Submitted by Fletcher & Fletcher Photography
Submitted by Laura Kimbrell Photography
Submitted by David Prewitt Photography
Submitted by Elements Photography
pg 44 Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine May 2011
Submitted by Tuesday Sigmon
Submitted by Beautiful Moments Photography
Submitted by Mary Garren
Submitted by Sylvia McKinney
Submitted by Glenn E. Deal
Submitted by Caught In The Act Photography
Submitted by Fletcher & Fletcher Photography
www.shutterbuggerz.com pg 45
Submitted by Leslie Taylor
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Submitted by Laura Kimbrell Photography
Submitted by Tonya Lowman Photography
Submitted by Amanda Carson Photography
pg 46 Sophie Womanâ€™s Magazine May 2011
Submitted by Herman Photography
Submitted by Lasting Generations Photography
Submitted by Sylvia McKinney
Submitted by Chelsea Weikle
Submitted by Brian P. Streett Photography
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Published on Apr 29, 2011
Published on Apr 29, 2011
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