Sophie Woman's Magazine - Jan 2016 Issue

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 11 / JAN 2016

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~

Are you someone’s miracle? | Page 10

Sophisticated Women ~ A woman’s guide to confidence. | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Is the past defining you too much? | Page 14

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Heart from the

From The Editor: Judy Smith

2015 year in review!! Nope, don’t want to go there. Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed every single day and I know it and I try to show it, BUT....there are times, if you know what I mean. This past year was not the best for my husband and I. So needless to say, I am glad to see a New Year.

Quite a few others that I have talked to feel the same way. Not all of them for the same reasons. No one can argue that 2015 has not been a very “different” year, especially with the attacks around the world, the war and rumors of war and not the least of all, the “Politics”.

I am acutely aware that the politics will go on for quite some time. I am also aware that a lot of folks say that is why things seem to be so different. That we actually have people running who are not politicians. Even though these are things that I believe need to be discussed, I am not going there: not with politics, taxes or death. We all know the old saying from Ben Franklin....”but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

Who says you only have to write in the doctor appointments, the tax time, the things you HAVE to do. What is wrong with writing in some silly stuff, special time with family and friends.

Hey, maybe even a combination of the two. I want you to stop right this minute and go to the last day of the year in your calendar and here is what I want you to write. IT HAS BEEN A GREAT YEAR! You are thinking right this moment, “that is the silliest thing I ever heard”! Be honest! I have done that and that is what I am planning. Hopefully, when I get to December 31st, I will be able to look back and see where I danced in the rain, where I played silly games with my grandkids......heck, maybe even climb the mountain.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

I love that verse. It is actually great advice for any situation or circumstance. Plus God promises us that He knows the plans He has for us and they are not to harm us. God sent us His Son that no matter what situation, no matter what circumstance we have to go through that He loved us enough not to leave us there.

So go ahead....plan a great year. Do some things you have never done before. Pet a bear, ok.... maybe not a bear! However, you could go to Grandfather Mountain and see a bear. You can go to the zoo and see the giraffes. How long has it been since you roasted marshmallows? Look for the funny things of life and make every moment count.

Here is wishing you the Best New Year ever!

Please allow me one more from Margaret Mitchell, just for all the women out there who are reading this.... “Death, taxes and childbirth! There’s never any convenient time for any of them.”

Okay, I am done with that. I want to focus on great things for 2016. You know how I love quotes, so here is a really good one for the New Year from Charles Kettering : Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress.

Just think on that a moment. We have a New Year and a new book to fill in the pages. Nothing has been written yet. Go ahead and get started. Fill in your wishes, your hopes and dreams for the New Year!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Judy Smith 828-466-0122 judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com Saralyn McGalliard 828-244-1617 saralyn@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly.

The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.

Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. *************************************************

pg 4 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

Message from the Heart

3

Reaching Your Full Potential

6

Sophisticated Women

8

Girlfriends in God

10

The Front Porch

12

Me, Myself, & Inc.

14

Following Bread Crumbs

16

Recipe for Life

18

Jesus, Will You Make It Snow?

20

A Fashionista’s Trends for 2016

22

You’re Not Done Yet!

24

Day In & Day Out

26

Time for Renewal

28

Grandpa’s Hands

30

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Submitted by Kathy Sigmon Submitted by Angie Houston

Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography

Submitted by Sierra Walker

Submitted by Ashely Arney

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 5

REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Anchors &Arrows

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

January was not always the first month of the year. Earlier calendars, such as the Julian calendar used by the Romans, considered March the first month of the year. These calendars were based largely around weather and harvest schedules, and winter was considered to be a time without definitive months. Eventually, the calendar was expanded at around 713 BCE to include two additional months so it would equal a standard lunar year.

Romans also were integral in giving the months their names, and some months got their names from Roman mythology and the gods of that time, while others were named after prominent Roman emperors.

January got its name from a Roman god named Janus, who was considered a god of transitions and beginnings. Janus was depicted as a two-faced god, which is appropriate in the present-day since January represents a time of saying goodbye to the old year and looking ahead to the new year.

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

“If you want to know where you fit into the picture, it would be wise to begin by looking at the picture itself.

Yet contemplation involves meditation and reflection – activities that are becoming a lost art in the society that is fascinated with technology and action.”

Laurie Beth Jones

The New Year Season has always been a popular time for new clients to roll into my life coaching business, as many begin picturing things they long to accomplish in the coming year. Having done professional Life and Business Coaching now for over twelve years, I have noticed a pattern: those who go the furthest in life are often those with the deepest roots. This revelation brought to mind one of my key coaching concepts that I utilize with every client. I call it the “Anchors and Arrows” principle.

Stop for a moment and ask yourself a quick question. What are you picturing for this upcoming year? Another way of asking may be to consider how you long for this year to be different from your previous season.

In her book titled, The Path, Laurie Beth Jones educates ordinary people on the art of crafting a mission statement for their lives and their professional pursuits. In the quote above, she calls us to get quiet enough to envision where we are headed and then to consider the steps it will take to arrive at the destinations we are picturing. Well-known news anchor, Maureen O’Boyle says she likes to picture herself already living in the new picture.

As you hold this copy of Sophie and a mug of coffee, it is the start of a fresh year … a perfect time to consider the bigger picture you have in mind for this next season of life.

I am actually contemplating a huge life transition in 2016 myself. I am considering releasing my custom-built lake home that I designed and my father built back in 2001. Let me illustrate how I am using the “Anchors and Arrows” principle as I navigate the waters of major decisions.

ANCHORS represent the things that ground us. A few that come to mind include: • PERSONAL VALUES • CORE BELIEFS • FAITH • IDENTITY

ARROWS represent the things that will allow us to SOAR into new beginnings. A few that come to mind include: • DREAMS • LIFE VISION • MOMENTUM • RESOURCES Selling and releasing my current home will mean giving up nearly 3,000 square feet on Lake Hickory for a much smaller, simpler house which would come with a life of greater financial freedom.

Taking each of the bullet points from above, my true ANCHORS keep me grounded in this way: • PERSONAL VALUES – At this stage in life, I value my freedom and how I choose to spend my days more than I value material possessions.

• CORE BELIEFS – My core beliefs are that my significance is found in who I am in my heart, not based on what I own.

• FAITH – My faith in God has honed my ability to hear and follow His voice, even when that takes me in directions that other people do not understand.

• IDENTITY – The type or location of my home does not identify me.

These combined ANCHORING REALITIES make it much easier for me to release a large, nice house for a simpler one if it LAUNCHES me closer to my highest life vision.

Once I decided to release my current home, I could begin to DREAM what would happen if I took this bold step. Being ANCHORED to my personal WHY was the step that allowed me to begin to SOAR, much like an ARROW flies toward its target.

Using my current situation as an illustration, here is the rest of the story: • DREAMS – I am now dreaming about what it will change my life to be debt free.

• LIFE VISION – I can already feel my vision for my life, my business and my outreach expanding under the promise of fewer life restraints.

• MOMENTUM – This creates a natural momentum that is now propelling me toward this dream.

• RESOURCES – My decision will unlock resources which have been going toward home maintenance and mortgage payments.

I hope that my personal path toward this monstrous life goal gives you some ideas and the courage to step out into 2016 armed with your ANCHORS and ARROWS. Invest in your roots and fly higher than ever!

Don’t follow the crowd into meaningless activity. Stop, contemplate, and launch yourself toward freedom and significance.

Kim Fletcher learned a few years ago that a “FLETCHER” is an arrow maker. This is fitting as she launches clients toward their true vision.

As a coach and leader of global impact, Kim seeks less to make a difference as she shares principles of true and lasting transformation to individuals and groups internationally. Contact her directly for a FREE ELECTRONIC COPY of Laurie Beth Jones PATH document to craft your own mission statement by emailing her at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

S

ophisticated

Women...

The Sophisticated Woman’s Guide To Confidence

Y

ou can be confident if, you choose it. And choosing confidence is essential to living a vibrant sophisticated life.

Let’s take a look at an amazing definition of confidence. This definition comes from Dan Sullivan. He states, “confidence is an ability to transform fear into focused and relaxed thinking, communication, and action, with the result that dangers become opportunities, obstacles become innovations, and weaknesses become advantages, and setbacks become breakthroughs.”

I love this robust definition. I want you to embrace it. And become it! Don’t miss the fact that Dan states, confidence is an ability. You can develop this skill. When you look at confidence as a skill, something that you can actually acquire, you can simply put a strategy in place to become confident.

In essence, you fake it until you make it!

Let’s look at how confidence actually is developed.

Confidence starts with self-image. Self-image is a mental model that defines how you see yourself.

If you feel positive about yourself - You understand you have a lot to offer the world. You are conscious of your talents and your skills. You know who you are and where you can contribute in a powerful way.

If you feel negative about yourself - You do not understand how much you have to offer the world. You are unconscious of your talents and your skills. You must take stock of who you are and where you can contribute in a powerful way.

My all time favorite quote comes from a letter to the Galatians in the Message by Eugene Peterson, it states: Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you’ve been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best with your own life.

This statement insists that you be confident.

It declares that you have been given a special assignment that only you can do. It implores you to stay focused on your strengths, gifts, and talents. It demands that you respond to your God given abilities. It states that it’s time you got creative.

Let’s get started!

The Two Step Vibrant Confidence Strategy Step 1: Write out ten “I am ______________” statements to determine your self-image.

•

Ask yourself, are these statements the truth?

•

If your ten “I am” statements are more positive than negative, it’s time to grow and stretch. You can go to a higher level of confidence. It’s your choice. Again, confidence is an ability. Just like learning to play a sport, you can get better.

•

If your ten “I am” statements are more negative than positive, connect how your negative self-image is connected to your behavior. Believe me. They are connected. I often observe clients creating obstacles, offering excuses, or declaring inadequacies that are imaginary. This kind of thinking creates a constant cycle of self-sabotage. Recognizing that you are in the state of sabotage is harboring a low self-image.

Recognizing that you have a low self-image is huge. You have a consciousness of your low self image. Now that you are conscious, you can choose a new positive self image with “I am one who” statements.

Step 2: Create your “I am one who ___________________” statements.

These statements declare who you want to become. Post these statements on your bathroom mirror. Enter them into your calendar as a reminder to pop up and remind you who you are becoming throughout the day. Get an accountability partner or a coach to work with you to achieve your goal. As you use these “I am one who” statements, you’ll change your self-image. Your confidence level will shift. You will begin to take on more risks finding yourself in some unfamiliar territory and that’s going to be exciting. In unfamiliar territory, you will have to work on your confidence in order to boost it. This, too, is a constant cycle in your life. However, this cycle gets you moving forward not in reverse. Pursuing confidence is like riding a bicycle. It takes focus, balance, and a commitment. But once you arrive at your destination, it’s truly fulfilling. Filling the world full of your creative best!

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

It is only through seriousness of purpose and persistence that we ultimately carry the day.

We might liken it to riding a bicycle. You stay upright and move forward so long as you keep up the momentum.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

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You Could Be Someone’s Miracle

by Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15 NIV).

Friend to Friend

To Beth it was the confusion of an inept airline. To me, it was a divine appointment from God. “I don’t have an assigned seat,” the disheveled young woman complained as she stumbled into the airplane.

“This one is empty,” I pointed out.

“Thanks,” she huffed as she plopped down.

The beautiful young lady was obviously exhausted. She was dressed in skin-tight jeans and a distracting low-cut T-shirt. Her flip-flops slid under her feet to reveal a tattoo on the top of her foot. Sunglasses hid something…I wasn’t sure what. She looked straight ahead, but I felt that her mind was traveling to a distant place.

After the plane left the ground, I pulled out a book I had written to prepare for an upcoming radio interview. Put the book down and talk to this girl, God seemed to say.

God, she doesn’t want to talk. I can tell by her body language.

She’s not interested in conversation, I mentally argued.

Put the book down and talk to this girl.(God can be very persistent. Especially when it comes to one of his little lost lambs.)

I closed the book and turned to this…kid.

“So, where are you headed?” I asked.

“Home,” she replied.

“Where’s home?”

“Right outside of Charlotte,” she replied. “It’s a small town.

I’m sure you’ve never heard of it.”

“Were you in Florida on business or pleasure?” I continued.

“I was visiting my boyfriend,” she answered.

Then she took off her sunglasses to reveal red swollen eyes. She glanced down at the book in my lap. “Your Scars are Beautiful to God,” she read, “that’s an interesting topic. I’ve got lots of scars.”

“So do I,” I replied. “That’s why I wrote the book.”

“You wrote that book?”

“Yep.” For the next hour and 90 minutes, this young girl poured out her heart. She had been abandoned by her birth father and sexually abused by several men in her life. She was on this flight

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

home because her boyfriend, who had just come out of a drug rehabilitation center, had “roughed her up.” Actually, she was fleeing. My heart broke as this beautiful young girl told me story after story of cruelties that had been doneto her mingled with bad choices that had been made through her. At the moment, her life resembled a 100-car train wreck with one lone survivor who was in desperate need of life resuscitation.

As my mind engaged with Beth (not her real name), my spirit communed with God. What do I do? I prayed. So much hurt. So much pain.

Pray for her…now.

“Beth, would you mind if I prayed for you?”

“No,” she said with a quiver in her voice. “I’d like that.”

I held Beth’s hand and God’s sorrow for this girl filled my heart. It wasn’t just a “God bless Beth,” sort of prayer. I sobbed.

It was as if God’s pain for this girl I didn’t even know was flowing through me.

As God would have it, Beth and I were in the front row of a very sparsely filled plane. The only person paying any attention to us was the flight attendant who sat facing us in her jump seat.

I’m not sure, but I think God was working in her heart as well.

When the plane landed, I handed Beth the book, we exchanged e-mails, and embraced one last time. Since then, we have kept in touch and Beth has continued her journey for peace and purpose.

Her stepfather wrote me a letter expressing his appreciation for taking the time to minister to his “little girl.” He wrote: “I had been praying for God to send Beth an angel, and I believe He did.”

Well, I’m no angel, that’s for sure. But I believe the angels were hovering around us in that plane.

One of the great mysteries of the Christian life is that God has given us great power through prayer. Through the pages of the Bible and the volumes of history, we see God mightily working on behalf of those who seek Him through prayer.

All through our lives, there will be times when we feel powerless. But friend, we are never more powerful than when we use our words in prayer. I was only with Beth a few hours in that airplane, but God’s power was evident when we grasped hands and prayed. His transforming power did more in a few moments than any human could have done in years.

So keep your eyes open. You could be someone’s miracle today.

Let’s Pray Dear Heavenly Father, I am in awe once again that You allow me to come into your presence with but a word. I am also amazed, once again, that You use simple weak vessels like me to reach out to Your precious wounded daughters. Help me to

keep my eyes open as I move through my day. Don’t let me miss the opportunities that You provide to reach out and share Your amazing love. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Today, you have an assignment. Grab your Bible and look up the following verses: Luke 19:1-9 What was Jesus doing? Where was He going?

Who did He take time to notice?

What was the outcome?

Mark 5:21-34 What was Jesus doing? Where was he going?

Who did He take time to notice?

What was the outcome?

What can you learn and apply to your life by the example Jesus set?

More from the Girlfriends

Just like Beth, many of us have been deeply wounded in our lives. Sometimes it is because of what someone did to us, and sometimes it is because of mistakes or poor choices we have made. Did you know that God wants to heal you of past wounds? Did you know that your scars are beautiful to Him? If you would like to learn more about how to find peace and purpose in the hurts of your past, check out my book, Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

Front The

J

Porch

anuary is a time to start thinking about a “Honey Do List” for us. Yes honey, you read that right, even though I know you don’t believe it.

One thing on “our” list is to do some repairs to the front porch and the back porch. I know those things won’t happen till it gets closer to spring but that is not a problem, as there are many indoor things on “our” list as well.

Do you know that God works in mysterious ways? Let me give you an example. I have been saying for a long time now that I want to change the colors of some of the walls. My husband hates to paint and I am not that good at it plus the fact that I have to climb up on ladders. Let’s just say with my history, honestly, that is probably not a good idea. But hey, you got to do what you got to do.

It’s not that most of them need painted, it is simply that I am ready for a change. We do have a small area, however, that get’s bumped and hit when I am “organizing things”. Most of the time we go with a mixed paint for certain colors and we always save what is left over or at least the bucket that has the mixture codes on the top. I asked my honey to check if we had any of that so we might touch up those spots.

His thinking….”I will touch those up and I can put off this painting project for at least another ten years or so”. He found almost a full bucket but it had set for so long, he decided to take it and get it shook up. It is with much sadness, that I have to tell you when he got it home and touched up all those spots….it didn’t work. Tears are just running down my face as I am sharing this with you. He knew when he put it on it did not look quite right but he figured after it dried it would blend in. My heart was just overflowing with…with, well I am not sure with what but the walls just look horrible.

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

by Judy Smith

Now, nothing matches in our home and even as bad as it looks, it will have to stay this way till after the holidays because NOW it all has to be redone. So if we HAVE to redo it, might as well change the colors while we are at it. I know you agree with me, don’t you? That is of course, unless you are another man reading this.

I guess I just have to suck it up and buy me some new rollers and painters tape and get ready to climb that ladder. Oh my, I forgot. Every time I start to do something like that, honey takes the tools away from me and tells me he will do it! That in itself makes me just want to ball my eyes out. Well at least I tried everything I could to make it “our” honey do list.

Honey, just in case you are reading this….we could hire some painters. Just sayin’. Then we could go straight to all the other things I am starting to add to the list. I have tools for all of those as well! Plus, we have a whole year…or at least till spring when “we” start on the porches.

Thank you Lord for my Honey and please don’t be mad at me cause I brought you into it.

Shutterbuggerz Submitted by Charismatic Captures

Submitted by Pam Jolly

Submitted by Clara Barnes

Submitted by Britts Precious Memories Submitted by Scott Hansley

Submitted by Angie Houston

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Is the past defining you too much?

A dear friend, who had lived through the traumatic experience of an emergency landing midflight, would relive the incident in grave detail each time he was about to depart on a flight. Even though the inner strength of this person was not going to allow the incident to make him never fly in an airplane again, the incident was so ingrained in his memory, he would re-experience it each time he headed to the airport to depart on a flight. He was focusing so much on everything that went wrong in that infamous flight, he lost sight of the fact that he and everyone on that flight survived.

In the next few seconds, I felt his hand pat my leg as I drove the car down the main stretch of highway heading toward the departure drop-off point and he said, “Go on.”

Are you allowing aspects of the past or a viewpoint that looks only at what has passed define you?

I know several people that as the year-end approaches and a New Year is upon us, they look back upon the year focused on everything that didn’t get accomplished, didn’t get started, and didn’t get done. Certain things on their New Year’s Resolutions list have been on the list for several years, not making any progress. What was once something they really thought they wanted to accomplish, as another year passes, it now has become an obligation or some sort of right of passage to add to this year’s list and “finally get it checked off” even though their heart is no longer into it. OR this item has been on their resolution list out of respect or consideration of someone they care about, only causing tension and anguish as a result of it not getting done.

Embrace the Blessing, Not the Trauma: Having witnessed my friend relive the trauma of the midflight emergency landing on more than one occasion while heading to the airport, I decided to take a different approach. The conversation as we headed to the airport went something like this, after he began to emotionally share the turmoil he experienced: I begin, “Tell me if I am correct about this. You walked away from the emergency landing with no broken bones, scratches or even stitches. Correct?”

He said, “Yes.” “And I understand that it is beyond what I can possibly comprehend, witnessing people being thrown about, screaming, bones being broken. Am I correct that everyone lived that was on this flight?” I asked.

He said, “Yes.” “Well, you know what this tells me, don’t you?” I asked.

In those last few minutes before reaching the curb, our conversation shifted from the torment of the experience to a sense of relief and gratitude that he made it through it. I felt his demeanor change, and his spirit realize the blessing that had occurred all those decades ago.

Resolve to Evolve, Not Undo, Redo or Regret: When it comes to the New Year, instead of looking back on the past year or years with regret and wishing you could undo or redo a myriad of things, view it as a new beginning, an opportunity and a reminder to focus on how you can evolve to be who and how you really want to be for yourself and others.

We truly have such a power within us to control how we think, and to choose how we think and react. We can choose to positively move forward, or negatively stay caught in the past. We can choose to see the blessings all around us or overlook them yearning for something bygone.

Embrace and resolve to not allow your past to define you, and instead, allow your future inspire you and your present gratify you.

He said, “No, what does it tell you?”

I replied, “It tells me that you were able to walk away from this experience with no broken bones, no stitches or concussion for one very clear reason. You still had more to contribute in your life and your purpose in making a difference in some way was still awaiting you in your future. You were given the added blessing of no harm whatsoever to your body. You literally walked away from it. How truly amazing is that!?”

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires people around the globe through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

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Following Bread Crumbs:

An Essential Guide to Traversing This New Year

by Mary Felkins

“I am the bread of life.”

John 6:48 My brain has some sort of refueling station in it. When January rolls around, I fill up the tank with a renewed commitment for dumping ineffective habits and developing successful ones, for abiding more closely in Christ, for being a faithful student of His word, for serving others, for forgiving the offensive. And for tackling the ever-challenging task of eating obediently…so long as it doesn’t involve sacrificing even one bite of bread.

It could be etched on my tombstone: Here Lies Mary She Really Loved Bread She ate and ate and ate of it Until she was dead Now, I certainly don’t expect anyone to be purchasing a tombstone for me anytime soon. But the point is, I could seriously eat nothing but bread - wheat or white, toasted or soft, buttered or dry - and be perfectly happy. Forever (And should the Lord smite me with a gluten intolerance, why, I’d probably choose denial and eat bread anyway).

God used bread as a teaching tool. He promised - and delivered - to rain down bread from heaven for the grumbling Israelites. It sustained them but was also meant to test and see if they’d choose to follow His instructions (Exodus 16:4).

And Jesus used bread. Early one morning, He stood on the shore by the Sea of Tiberius roasting some fish and toasting some bread on a fire of burning coals. He invited a few of His disciples to, “Come and have breakfast.” (John 21:12). While my former dietitians eyes can’t help but recognize the perfectly balanced combo of a complete protein and complex carbohydrate, I have to think the real breakfast He offered was Himself, the Bread of Life.

“I am the bread of life.”

John 6:48 As an invited guest in a village home, the resurrected Jesus took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and served it. The image of Him breaking the bread stirs my soul. It wasn’t until He broke the bread that their eyes were opened and they recognized Him (Luke 24:31, 35).

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

It seems every January I’ve needed a fresh reminder that Jesus is the bread of life, broken for me. Because, while January brings to mind all things new - a new year, a new beginning, a new enthusiasm, a new attitude, a new vote cast for US President - it also ushers in a frightening unknown.

January can feel somewhat like preparation for a twelve-month journey. I can see here and now, but that’s it. So I stuff a backpack full of bread crumbs. No way I want to get lost facing a new year’s wilderness. It’s a pathless, unchartered landscape, not yet traversed.

Circumstances lie ahead that will be out of my control.

The Lord is the only One Who knows the way. And though He may not show me where we’re going, my perfectly trained Guide urges me to trust Him with a promise that He’ll never forsake me in it.

“Remember, faith is being certain of what you can’t see.”

“Yes. I remember that one.”

He breaks a piece off the loaf, drops His life-giving bread crumbs at my feet. “Let’s press on, then. Eyes on the Bread.”

Of course, I don’t have to follow them. I can allow curiosity, fear, or frustration to lure me in another direction. My direction. But if I disregard the bread crumbs long enough they’re sure to get eaten. Or they might even be followed by another soul who’s wise enough to know she can’t handle the newness of another January without fully relying on God’s guidance.

“For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” John 6:33 The Bread of Life doesn’t become stale or moldy, swallowed by birds and squirrels. It won’t cause trouble for gluten-free peeps. It provides more than mere sustenance. It infuses me with Life, guides my way, illuminates my thoughts, and whispers, “This is the way, walk in it…I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 30:21, 43:19b As I look fixedly into the unknown wilderness of this new year, I believe I’ll toss my own sorry little crumbs aside and, instead, follow the trail created for me by the Bread of Life. Because I know He’ll lead me safely through to December.

Even to infinity and beyond.

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.

Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

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Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body

Bran Muffins

(Inspired by an online recipe: http://www.food.com/recipeprint. do?rid=62438) ) 2 cups bran flakes ¾ cup unsweetened almond milk 1 cup plus 2 Tbsp. unsweetened applesauce ½ cup molasses 1 egg 1½ cup all-purpose flour 2 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. baking soda ½ tsp. salt 1 tsp. cinnamon ½ tsp. nutmeg 1 cup chopped peeled apple (optional) 1. Combine the bran cereal, milk, applesauce, molasses, and egg.

Mix well and let stand for five minutes.

2. In another bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and spices. Add the apple, tossing to coat.

3. Combine the bran mixture with the flour mixture until dry ingredients are just moistened.

4. Pour batter into greased muffin cups and bake 10-12 minutes on 350 degrees. Cool slightly before removing from pan.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing

Loving Father in heaven, You are the Giver of all that’s good, yet often I choose to dwell on the negative or unpleasant. Thank You for instructing me through my days on this earth and providing all I need to succeed in the Christian life. Please strengthen me to focus my thoughts consistently on that which pleases You. In Jesus’ magnificent name, Amen.

Food for the Soul While I love the writing profession, I dislike the sedentary side effects. So last fall, I did something I’ve never attempted to do before: diet. Rather than follow a specific plan, I simply changed my eating habits. I replaced white bread with wheat and whole grain breads while increasing my intake of protein, fruits, and vegetables.

Also, I decreased unhealthy fats and desserts, choosing healthy fats

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

and honey more often. Making these adjustments as well as walking regularly paid off—and continues to pay off. I feel better than ever, plus I’m several pounds lighter .

This experience has given me greater understanding in a few areas.

First, I can do hard things that require self-control (see Philippians 4:13). Secondly, my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, a vessel God has entrusted to my care (see 1 Corinthians 3:16). Finally, the food that goes into my body greatly affects the way I feel and function. All three of these lessons possess value, yet I’d like us to focus on the third and apply it spiritually in this new year.

Philippians 4:8 reads, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.”

The “food” with which we nourish our minds directly impacts how we feel and function as Christians. Dwelling on matters that please God, as detailed in Philippians 4:8, will enhance our spiritual health. On the other hand, regularly feeding ourselves worldly fare will decrease our spiritual well-being—or at the very least, prevent us from growing. Whether it’s the movies we watch, the music we listen to, the books we read, or the sites we visit online, all of these activities influence our minds and affect our spiritual well-being one way or the other.

So … let’s go on a “diet.” What specific thoughts do you or I need to remove from our daily regimen? For instance, do we ponder our concerns so much that we’re locked into worry? Let’s focus on truth rather than what could happen. Do we enjoy a TV program that fills our heads with violence, death, and sexual immorality? Let’s concentrate instead on pure, lovely, and morally excellent material.

Let’s rid ourselves of any and every unhealthy preoccupation, welcoming God-pleasing thoughts instead.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Rom. 12:2, NASB).

Our minds need extra special care. Living in a culture that rebels against God and experiencing fleshly desires take a toll. Daily Bible reading and prayer are essential as we pursue holiness, righteousness, and godliness. Considering “how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24) also provides excellent food for thought.

Let’s feast on all the good God offers rather than absorbing the junk this world presents.

May the Lord bless you with a holy and healthy New Year. Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word.

Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

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12/2/15 11:27 AM www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

Jesus, Will You Make Some Snow Today?

by Debbie Roberson

I slipped quietly out of bed and walked wearily into the kitchen, wishing that it was all just a nightmare – but knowing instead that it was a dreadful reality. It was true - our daughter Susan had gone to be with Jesus two days earlier.

I peered outside to find that during the dark night of my sorrow, God reached down from heaven and blanketed my morning with snow, pure and clean and white. I instantly thought, “Oh, Susan loved snow!” I stood in amazed silence at the side door of my dining room and watched the snowflakes swirl and fall ever so delicately – each one performing a heavenly ballet.

I smiled to myself and wondered if Susan had already started to use her influence with Jesus. In my mind’s eye, I saw my beautiful 23 year old daughter chatting with Him incessantly like she always did when she was excited.

“Jesus, will you make some snow today? I know that my family will think of me when they see it and then they’ll know for sure that I’m OK. Will you make the snowflakes especially big and fluffy, the kind of snowflakes that almost look like feathers? Will you also make the snow perfect for snowballs and snowmen? Will you do that for me Jesus? Oh, and will you please make sure that it snows just enough to be beautiful, but not so much that my Grandma will worry about people having to drive in it. You know how my Grandma worries! Just make it beautiful for them. Will you Jesus? I know that everyone who loves me will think of me and smile when they see it. They all know how much I love snow. I want them to smile Jesus. They are so sad. Will you help me let them know for sure that I am here with you and that I’m OK? Will you Jesus?”

The snow continued to fall throughout that Friday morning. There was no noise – just reverent, holy silence, as the flakes danced in slow motion, each one uniquely different, each one honoring God with magnificent purity. I observed with wonder the great beauty of His gift to me and I knew in my heart that Susan was enjoying the same gift in Heaven. Was she making snow angels the way she used to when she was a little girl? Did she make a snow man? Did she stand with her head thrown back, arms outstretched and mouth wide open so that she could catch snowflakes on her tongue? I smiled through my tears as I pondered these things.

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

After the funeral service the next day, we sat at the cemetery in silence.

I watched with forlorn gratitude as a multitude of family and friends parked and walked to the gravesite. It was a bright but bitterly cold January day, and I felt a warm hug from God as the sun came through the car window and wrapped itself around me like a soft blanket. I gazed out the window and silently thanked God for the beauty of the day. The snow from the day before had cleansed the atmosphere. The sky was a perfect blue – Carolina Blue - and the sun was shining brilliantly.

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as snow began to fall softly again. I was mesmerized as I watched the baby fine flakes blowing delicately through the sunlight, above and around all of the beautiful flowers at Susan’s grave. As the sunlight caught each of the snowflakes, they transformed into crystallized iridescent prisms of color. They reflected off of each other as they swirled and danced, and then they suddenly evaporated, as if God thought that they were too beautiful for the Earth.

What a wonderful gift from God, so typical of the love and grace He had been showering upon me during the weeks leading up to this day.

He revealed to me in such a simple and beautiful way that Susan was like those snowflakes. She was indeed too beautiful to touch the ground.

Heaven was her home.

I wondered to myself - “But how could it be snowing on such a beautiful sunny day?” I slowly turned my head and looked out the car window to my right. There I saw the origin of the glorious dance recital of snowflakes. A row of tall and majestic pine trees stood at attention next to the cemetery, as if they were planted there years ago just for this special day. The Lord blew me a kiss and the soft breeze caused the snow from the day before to reverently waft off of the pine branches, providing me with my own special snow fall in honor of Susan.

I whispered in my heart, confident that He would make sure that Susan heard me …

“I know that you’re with Jesus. Thank you for asking Him to send me such a beautiful reminder. I love you.”

About the Author Debbie Roberson is a wife and the mother of a grown married son. She is also the mother of a beautiful daughter who now lives in Heaven. She is a lover of Jesus with a desire to encourage and inspire others through the words that He puts in her heart.

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ftrends ashionista’s for the

by Susan Guest, ASID

T

here were hints that I would be a fashionista at a young, tender age. While mom sewed beautiful dresses, I designed clothes for Barbie dolls. Since shag haircuts were in vogue at the time, I tried (without success) those cuts on my Barbies. Note: The shag does not work on dolls with rows of hair plugs! My cousins and I would clear the book cases in the family room and create apartment houses for our dolls. Shoe boxes would be used for bunk beds, full beds, bath tubs, planes and cars in and around our buildings.

At age 5, I told mom’s friend that her shoes were the ugliest ones I had ever seen. She agreed! At the age of 13, I designed a dress and selected the fabric to go to a sweetheart banquet. Mom kept telling me that the fabric was suitable for upholstery and would not make a nice dress. Being a strong-willed fashionista, I told her that I didn’t care. Well, Mom was right as usual, and the dress weighed at least 30 pounds. I wore it that one night and it has been a source of fun memories ever since. At 17, I designed a satin disco outfit that was so tight that it barely survived a night of dancing. Mom no longer sews, but we both have fun texting when Project Runway is on TV and giving our opinions.

College years were spent drawing homes, designing imaginary interior spaces, and pulling all-nighters with fellow design students as our deadlines approached. I designed a pin stripe, grey wool, double-breasted coat dress for a presentation my senior year that ended up in the Ralph Lauren line a couple of falls later. My first store bought dress was purchased my senior year in college and I quickly learned that clothing the quality that Mom made came with a higher price tag.

Years ago, fashion trends in the home furnishings industry were a few years behind the clothing trends. Also, more rural areas of the country were several years behind more metropolitan areas.

The internet has totally changed this. Today, the entire world can keep up with the most current style for their home or closet.

2016

up what we already own. These trends might freshen your look in 2016.

The color of the year varies according to the source, but include Hyacinth (a light lavender color that is dreamy), serenity blue and rose quartz. These soft colors are calming and fresh for spring.

In wallpapers, fabrics, and dresses, I am seeing many watercolor inspired large floral prints and brush stroke prints. Stripes are still hot. Blue and white is still the most popular stripe combo, as the nautical look is everywhere, but expect to see orange and green added in for a multi color stripe. Western influence is big this year-leather and fringe will be seen on runways for jackets, dresses, and handbags, as well as sofa pillows. Denim will be used in dresses and as home accents. Studs and nail heads will continue to embellish clothing, handbags, chairs, and walls. The menswear look will again be strong in seating as well as clothing. Stripes and plaids have a new twist as they are being used together.

In fashion, scarves are back. They can brighten the saddest day with color and texture. Wide leg pants will be popular this year, as well as long trench coats in all colors. Asymmetrical design will be featured in skirts and dresses. Skirts will be pleated, tea length and complete with gold chain belts. Spring clothing colors include poppy, indigo, canary yellow, soft green, hyacinth and sky blue.

Lace continues to be featured in dresses and blouses.

As we welcome 2016, challenge yourself to make positive changes. Whether large or small, change can be good! Make a resolution for better health. Update your home to be more functional and beautiful. Weed the people from your life who are toxic. Go through your closets and donate things that you are not wearing. Purchase a few items, if your budget allows, that will make you sparkle. Whether you are a fashionista or not, have a happy new year!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

Last week, I attended the spring preview show for Worth New York, a fashion line that I represent. Most of the same trends in clothing, I noted, were exactly what I am seeing from sales reps in my interior design business. Many of us cannot afford to redo our homes or wardrobes every year, but can add a few things to spruce

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 23

You’re Not Done Yet!

How One Woman’s Diagnosis of Disease Led to a Global Ministry Fighting Human Trafficking

K

by Kimberly Rae

imberly Rae wasn’t sure what God was doing. She lived overseas and planned to give her life to missions, but sickness kept shutting her down. As the years passed, and doctor after doctor admitted they did not know what was wrong, Kimberly fought discouragement.

Surely once she got a diagnosis, someone could fix the problem and she could get back to her life.

Finally, a specialist and Emory found the source of fifty-plus symptoms: Addison’s Disease. Her rare disease, unfortunately, meant she would be steroid-dependent the rest of her life, and any small sickness could become dangerous. She asked one doctor if she would be able to return to missions overseas, and he bluntly responded no, and he was surprised she hadn’t “kicked off already”!

She and her husband moved back to America and settled in Lenoir, North Carolina. Kimberly loved being in the Blue Ridge Mountains again, but felt shelved. Useless. Done. Due to her fluctuating health, it felt like everything important in life was limited. She couldn’t commit to any ministries at church. She had to say no to activities she wanted to say yes to. Even holidays and special events became draining.

One thing she could still do was write. Kimberly had written for years for Christian magazines, but considered writing a book. After tossing around ideas, her mother asked, “If you could write about anything, what would you write about?” By the end of the day, she had begun her novel, Stolen Woman, which combined things she cared about most: human trafficking, missions, and women knowing their worth in Christ.

The book became an Amazon bestseller, as did the two following books in the series, and suddenly Kimberly was being asked to speak on the topic of human trafficking.

As she spoke with church groups or in newspaper interviews, the question kept

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

coming up: “What about here in North Carolina?” Kimberly realized she was being asked as if she were an expert, so she decided to become an expert! Now, three years later, she writes and trains people not only on the problem of international, national, and local human trafficking, but shares how they can be part of the solution.

Rae now reaches more people through her books and speaking than she ever did during her years overseas. Some of those touched by her writing are now fighting human trafficking themselves. Her limitations were not God shelving her, but preparing the way for something better!

Rae loves sharing through stories that people can make a difference (she has a new book, Shredded, on trafficking set in small-town North Carolina), and that our worth as women should not be based on how much we accomplish, or what we can or can’t do. As Kimberly often says, “God made you in His image, and Jesus says you’re worth dying for. Nothing you do, nothing you’ve done, nothing that has been done to you, can change that.”

“I used to want to be competent and make a huge impact and if I did those things, it would mean I mattered,” Kimberly says. “But having an incurable disease that shut me down showed me I was finding my worth in the wrong things. God wants me to give the message to women that they matter, not because of how busy they are, but because of who they are in Christ. I matter just as much to God on days like today...” (she says as she battles a chronic infection on the couch in her Hello Kitty pjs!) “... as I do when I’m training hundreds of people how to fight trafficking.”

Kimberly hopes her story will help women stop defining themselves by what or how much they do. “If we know our worth in God, we can stop needing to prove ourselves all the time,” Rae concludes. “And then we really can make a difference in the world, but for all the right reasons.”

Find resources (including printable handouts) to fighting human trafficking, or contact Rae at www.kimberlyrae.com.

How YOU Can Fight Human Trafficking!

You care, and want to make a difference, but perhaps you just don’t know where to start. How do you turn your heart for the hurting into tangible help in the fight against human trafficking and exploitation?

Ministries fighting trafficking globally: • •

•

•

International Justice Mission (www.ijm.org) - they have the most amazing stories of rescuing scores of people from the brick kilns or brothels.

Rahab’s Rope (www.rahabsrope.com) - they focus on the brothels of India, rescuing women and the children growing up there. They have products for sale made by rescued women - you can order online or host your own party.

Gospel for Asia (www.gfa.org) - their Bridge of Hope program helps at-risk children, the “untouchables” considered worthless in their society. They have helped over 60,000 children get food, education, and the hope that comes from hearing they are loved.

Women At Risk International (www.warinternational.org) - each year they take women from around America on a Circle Tour, where they get to experience the work firsthand.

What about in America?

Human trafficking isn’t just something that happens “over there.” It has been reported in every state in America. Tragically, more of the funding that feeds human trafficking comes from America than any other country. Our country is a major part of the demand that fuels trafficking and exploitation.

You can help raise awareness by knowing the signs to look for (www. kimberlyrae.com), sharing about trafficking, memorizing and sharing the Human Trafficking Hotline (888-3737-888), or you can place posters in rest rooms or gas stations (or anywhere someone will let you!).

At the Campaign to Rescue and Restore site (http://www.acf.hhs.gov/ programs/orr/programs/anti-trafficking), you can order up to 100 of each of their posters for FREE. They even pay shipping! They have posters in English, Spanish, Indonesian, Korean, Chinese, Thai, Russian, and Vietnamese. You never know the difference a few well-placed posters could make.

Don’t Wait

The problem is big, but not impossible. Not with God, who loves justice (Isa. 61:8), tells us to speak up for the oppressed (Prov. 31:8-9) and is near the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

Don’t wait for the perfect season to give your love away, Don’t wait for the ideal reason your thankfulness to pay, For time has a way of fleeing, of quickly skittering by, Of strangely evanescing like cloudy wisps on high.

Roses don’t last forever, they lose their nubile red, Just as deeds unacted, just as thoughts unsaid.

The Gift of Life is not book-end-less, finite, we, He did create, TODAY He bids us send our love, tomorrow may be too late.

Are you ready to get busy?

Ministries fighting trafficking in the US: •

•

• •

Truckers Against Trafficking (www.truckersagainsttrafficking. org) - truckers are rescuers! Many trafficked girls are forced to sell themselves at truck stops across the country, and truckers are making the phone calls that save their lives.

S.O.A.P. (www.traffickfree.com) - Save Our Adolescents from Prostitution - bars or soap in motel or gas station bathrooms wrapped with the human trafficking hotline are brilliant because the bathroom is the one place a trafficked girl is allowed to go alone.

End It Movement (www.enditmovement.com) - it’s more than a cool red x on your hand.

Polaris Project (www.polarisproject.org) - the best place to find statistics about trafficking in the US and how things are changing for good.

---FB

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 25

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Like a typical teen, Megan said, “Well, at first I was really mad at them. Then I felt so embarrassed and exposed.”

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pg 26 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

Megan’s sense of relief demonstrates a desire that lives within every human being. Even though she had spent an enormous amount of time and energy covering up her behavior, she really wanted to be known. Especially, by mom and dad. God created her with a relentless desire to be known. Because she did not have the courage to reveal her poor choices, Megan kept up her disguise. Unfortunately, the more she hid, the more she hid. Eventually, she was completely unaware of the pain and brokenness she continually concealed in her heart. Megan couldn’t imagine that rest, relief and restoration could actually be found by being vulnerable and transparent with someone she could trust.

As parents, our response to our kids when they are caught plays a key role in either perpetuating the game of hide and seek or ending it. Unfortunately, fear and despair can cause us to freak out, overpower and squelch any desire they may have to tell the truth. If we can view these messes as pivotal moments, however, we can actually take steps that invite them to discover the life they deeply desire.

Remember, they deeply desire to be known. Your teen is aching to live the life they were made to live. If they behave defensively or aggressively when their junk is revealed, take heart. Even if they don’t express it, these revelations move them away from Enemy territory and into the light.

While the Enemy desires to convince them to hide, their lies and deception will eventually destroy relationships and ultimately themselves. God, on the other hand, offers them freedom as they bravely reveal what is going on behind the scenes. Our commitment to pursue our kids, project emotional safety and demonstrate unconditional love can fan the flames on the bit of courage they need to confess and come clean.

Reflect God’s grace. Being found out gives a parent the opportunity to display God’s love and mirror God’s grace. One teen recently told me she felt both shocked and uncomfortable when her parents calmly and lovingly confronted her after finding out about some poor choices she’d made. “I keep waiting for them to freak out or yell at me or angrily glare at me,” she said. This is what she felt she deserved. By verbally and physically expressing their love and favor toward her, while still implementing consequences and setting new boundaries, she understood a bit more about God’s amazing grace.

Remain faithful. When teens get caught doing something they knew they were not supposed to do, you have the opportunity to keep your promise. When a kid has been warned about a consequence and a parent does not follow through, the promise is broken. Demonstrate that you mean

what you say and that you will do what you said you would do. A parent who chooses to do the hard thing by being direct, intolerant of destructive behavior and lovingly implements consequences demonstrates what it means to be faithful and trustworthy with regard to commitments.

The next time your kid is engaging in behaviors that are inappropriate, imagine yourself in the trenches. You are, indeed, at war. You are fighting for their character, their future, their life. Getting louder, trying to win arguments or cranking up your control will only interfere with this effort. Instead, consider the One who fought for you and emulate what He has done for you as you interact with your child. Because He made you, He knows what you really need in your most messy moments. Pray that He reveals the root desire beneath your kid’s actions. Because He loves you and died for you, He extends grace and mercy to you even though you never deserve it. Offer this to your kid, especially when they least expect it. Because He is trustworthy, He will always remain faithful. Follow through with the promises you’ve made.

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor. For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development.

Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry. net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27

Time for Renewal

by Jan McCanless

I

remember as a child, being so jealous of all the adults who got to stay up on New Years eve. Just couldn’t wait until I got old enough to do so, but, as I aged, I realized that New Years eve is not just about parties and celebrations. It’s a time for renewal, reflection, resolutions, and some serious, deep thinking.

Just think about it for awhile, the start to a brand new year, new beginnings, turning over a new leaf, reflecting on the past year, and maybe some different resolutions this year. There are always going to be the usual promises made to ourselves, lose weight, clean out the hall closet, rearrange the stuff in the garage. Out with the old, we shout, and in with the new.!

It would be wonderful if we really could start over -- -maybe be a little kinder to ourselves, nicer and more patient to our family members, a little bit more attentive in church perhaps, and a tad more active in the community, and a great deal more passionate with those less fortunate.

Remember all the buzz about Y2K? Some naysayers were proclaiming the end of civilization as we know it, the electric grids would go kaput., banks would have to close, computers would crash, it was a regular frenzy, and, all the while folks were stockpiling provisions and guns, yes, guns, to get them thru the end times. Reminded me of all the brouhaha back in the 50’s over the bomb shelters, and the ‘atomic drills’ we suffered through at school. Sure, if an atomic bomb drops on us, curling ourselves up against a wall will surely save us !!!! A whole lot of nonsense, if you ask me, and that is not where it’s at. pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

At some point in time, we have to have faith. Faith that our elected leaders will not engage us in some fractious, catastrophic war, faith that the every day citizen will stop and think before they act. Faith that the good people of this glorious land of ours will begin to obey the laws that have been put in place for their own safety and protection.

We can’t rely on the doomsayers and negative aspects of our society, we have to be actively engaged ourselves in making this a better world for us all. January is the time to do it. The first day of the first month of a brand new year.

Now is the time, and now, we have the opportunity.

Go ahead, promise yourself that you will be a better person, lose the weight, clean out the garage, do whatever it takes to renew and re-energize yourself. The slate is clean, we are starting fresh with a brand new year. The past is over and done with, lets concentrate on making our own and everyone else’s future all that it can be.

Oh, and there is one more thing. We were told, eons ago, that the greatest commandment of all was to love one another. If we really do that, then, all the worry we have over high prices, fractured families, terrorists, whatever befalls us, would be entirely unnecessary. That’s all we need, to love one another.

We need to work on that. In the meantime, Happy New Year, each and every month of 2016, may it be the best ever for you and yours.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

G

randpa, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. He didn’t move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands. When I sat down beside him he didn’t acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat, I wondered if he was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK. He raised his head and looked at me and smiled. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking,” he said in a clear strong voice.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you, Grandpa, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,” I explained to him.

“Have you ever looked at your hands,” he asked. “I mean really looked at your hands?”

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them over, palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I tried to figure out the point he was making. Grandpa smiled and related this story: “Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have served you well throughout your years.

These hands, though wrinkled, shriveled, and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and grab and embrace life. They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer. They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots. They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my wedding band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone special. They trembled and shook when I buried my parents and spouse and walked my daughter down the aisle. They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed the rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw. And to this day, when not much of anything else of me works real well, these hands hold me up, lay me down, and again continue to fold in prayer. These hands are the mark of where I’ve been and the ruggedness of my life. But more importantly it will be these hands that God will reach out and take when he leads me home. And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I will use these hands to touch the face of Christ.”

I will never look at my hands the same again. But I remember God reached out and took my grandpa’s hands and led him home.When my hands are hurt or sore I think of Grandpa. I know he has been stroked and caressed and held by the hands of God. I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel His hands upon my face.

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | January 2016

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Girlfriends In God ~ Are Happy Endings Really Possible? | Page 14

Girlfriends In God ~ Do You Know That You Are Perfectly Loved? | Page 14

Reaching Your Full Potential ~ Don’t Miss Your Moment of Influence | Page 6

Sophisticated Women ~ Get Ready To Take The Next Right Step | Page 8

Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You The Princess or the Pea? | Page 29

Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are You Taking Life Too Seriously? | Page 29

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