Sophie Woman's Magazine February 2015

VOLUME 10 - ISSUE 12 / FEBRUARY 2015

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ We All Want To Be Beautiful. And That’s Okay! | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Are You Reguarded Highly By Others? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Have You Fully Unleased The Lover In You? | Page 29 shutterbuggerz pg 37

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From The Editor: Judy Smith

What is REALLY going on? Do we know or just think we know?

We are getting older and starting to realize that our bodies are just wearing out. My husband has been suffering with some health issues that have caused him to be very sick, in a lot of pain and very weak… weak to the point that literally he has not been able to do hardly one thing. I am not complaining. It is harder on him then it is on me. I remind him that he took care of me for so long when I had double knee replacement and he did it again through my cancer ordeal. The difference between him and me is that I know there are things that I cannot do, so I don’t worry about those things. The Christmas lights on the house for example.

I cannot take them down and put them away. Jokingly, I tell others we are just going to leave them up till next Christmas. I have seen people do that and have laughed about how lazy they are or maybe said some other things. When in reality, maybe someone in the house had something going on that, had I known, would have made a difference in my thinking and my reaction.

What a great lesson that is. The old saying, “Don’t say anything till you have walked a mile in my shoes”, really does hit home. We think we know something but sometimes we just don’t have a clue.

I remember the story I heard years ago about an evangelist that came to town to hold a big revival. This evangelist was quite well known and maybe thought a little more of himself than he should. All week, night after night, he preached hard and loud. Yet, all week he noticed this older man that would make his way up to the front row and sit down….and sleep. The evangelist had finally had enough and said to the Pastor of the church that they needed to have a talk with this older man. If he was going to sleep, he needed to at least sit at the back.

The Pastor, with tears in his eyes, had this to say. “Sir, you might think differently when you hear this. Mr. Campbell has been a devoted servant of God at this church for a long time. For years he taught Sunday

school, he served on several boards in the community, he ran a business that put God first and he was the spiritual leader of his household. Two of his sons are now serving in the mission field. Mr. Campbell thought you were one of the greatest evangelists he had ever heard even though he had never had the opportunity to hear you in person. He quoted from the books you wrote many times and always recommended your books to others.

My. Campbell was diagnosed with cancer several months back. He underwent surgery and had been going through chemo treatments until just a few weeks back when they told him there was nothing more they could do. When his daughter told him you were going to be here this week, he pleaded to be here each night. She knew he was so weak; that he barely had strength enough to sit up for very short periods of time so she pleaded with him not to try it. His reply to her was that this might be his last week on this earth…that he might not be able to hear what was being said but he wanted to go. To sit on the front row….to be in the presence of the greatest evangelist he ever knew.”

Openly weeping, the evangelist first had to ask forgiveness for his pride and arrogance. He then wrapped his arms around Mr. Campbell and told him he was in the presence of greatness. The change in the way the evangelist looked at others was evident in his messages and the way he responded to others from that day on.

Do you see a house that needs painting and you wonder why they are not doing something about it or do you see a teenager that just can’t seem to get their act together. Maybe we just don’t know the whole story.

Maybe we should before we start to criticize.

So my lights may be up awhile and that is OK by me. My husband on the other hand will be out there at the first glimmer of wellness. I just have to keep reminding him that I would rather have the lights on the house and have him by my side than him fall off the ladder and break his neck. Then who would do it next year?

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

S

phie Woman’s Magazine

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Graphic Design: Brittany LeFever Sales: Marion Keener 828-320-0040 marion@sophiewomansmagazine.com Saralyn McGalliard 828-244-1617 saralyn@sophiewomansmagazine.com

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

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Message From The Heart......................................pg 3 The Meaning of Flowers......................................pg 6 Sophisticated Women............................................pg 8 The Front Porch.................................................pg 11 Loving Your Teen..............................................pg 12 Girlfriends In God.............................................pg 14 Seven Techniques To Train Your Brain............pg 16 Revive the Art of Letter Writing.........................pg 19 For Love of Family..............................................pg 20 The Gift of Tears..............................................pg 22 Puttin’ on the Ritz...............................................pg 24 Beauty In Education............................................pg 27 Me, Myself, & Inc.............................................pg 29 Decorate with Love!..........................................pg 30 Recipes For Life................................................pg 33 Health to Thrive................................................pg 34 Shutterbuggerz....................................................pg 37

*Now Available* SUBSCRIPTIONS

We have been asked by many of our readers to offer a subscription to Sophie Woman’s Magazine. If you would like more information about a subscription, please visit our website at:

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com You can also find more information on page 10 of this issue.

********************************************************** Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly. The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher.

All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher.

Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.

Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC’s publishers, staff, and other persons involved in the creation, production, or delivery of the magazine (in whatever format) or its content, do not assume any liability or responsibility for the accuracy, completeness, or usefulness of any information provided in the magazine, nor shall they be liable for any direct, indirect, incidental, special, consequential, or punitive damages arising out of the use of the magazine. **********************************************************

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Explore flower meanings for Valentine giving Come mid-February, florist delivery trucks can be seen making the rounds through neighborhoods all across the country. Such trucks are transporting thousands of bouquets, plants and other floral arrangements that serve as gifts on Valentine’s Day. According to the Retail Advertising and Marketing Association, florists take in around $400 million in revenue on Valentine’s Day. Roses may be the most popular flower come Valentine’s Day, but many other blooms find their way into the hearts of excited celebrants as well.

Flowers can be used to convey love, friendship, compassion, and desire. In Victorian times, flowers were given specific meanings because only a few exotic flowers were readily available, and many of these meanings have withstood the test of time. Giving a type of flower that signifies you just want to be friends may not bode well for a relationship when the recipient was hoping for more. As a result, it pays to understand the subtle meaning of flowers to make gift-giving easier.

The Society of American Florists has compiled the following list of flower meanings from various sources. But in spite of these meanings, keep in mind you can always work with a florist to design a personal arrangement that speaks directly to that special someone this Valentine’s Day.

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

Amaryllis: drama Anemone: fragility Apple Blossom: promise Aster: contentment Azalea: abundance Bachelor Button: anticipation Begonia: deep thinking Camellia: graciousness Carnation: pink: gratitude red: flashy striped: refusal white: remembrance yellow: cheerful Cosmos: peaceful Daffodil: chivalry Daisy: innocence Gardenia: joy Geranium: comfort Gladiolus: strength in character Heather: solitude Hyacinth: sincerity Hydrangea: perseverance Iris: inspiration Jasmine: grace and elegance Lilac: first love Magnolia: dignity Marigold: desire for riches Orange Blossom: fertility Orchid: delicate beauty Pansy: loving thoughts Passion flower: passion Ranunculus: radiant Rose: pink: admiration/appreciation red: passionate love red and white: unity white: purity yellow: friendship Sunflower: adoration Sweetpea: shyness Wisteria: steadfast Zinnia: thoughts of friends

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 7

Sophisticated Women...

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

are Esteemed

To be esteemed is to be regarded highly by others. Sophisticated women are definitely esteemed. The “Sophie” woman loves God, her family, her calling and …yes… she loves herself. She understands that if she doesn’t hold herself with high regard no one else will. A woman, who has esteem for herself, radiates confidence, gives us hope and pours out love.

Self-esteem is defined by Matthew McKay, PhD as “the ingredient that makes strong and lasting relationships, builds a nurturing community, and turns dreams into achievements.” Clearly, self-esteem is the key, which unlocks a woman’s ability to love others. A woman that believes her life has a purpose of high value understands that she has a lot to give.

And, she does just that. Without hesitation, she joyously exercises her talents, shares her wisdom, and it all gets labeled as love.

History reflects that if a woman believes in herself and her purpose she can love radically. I believe that all three of these esteemed woman exemplify self–esteem.

• •

•

Mother Teresa’s life was defined by loving the people of Calcutta however, the love only flowed because of her fierce belief that she was called by God. Princess Di believed her celebrity status had purpose. She was one of first to literally and physically reach out to people infected with AIDS and in the process shifted the perceptions of many.

She stated her real desire as, “I would like to be a queen in the hearts of people.”

And of course there is, Oprah Winfrey, who despite her dysfunctional beginnings as poor child living in Mississippi believed that she had strengths. Her talent has manifested in the pouring out of love to girls in Africa.

Beliefs are powerful. They can either serve us or slay us. According to Peter Senge, an esteemed organizational behavior expert, “We live in a world of self generating beliefs which remain largely untested. We adopt beliefs based on conclusions, which are inferred from what we observe, plus our past experience. Our ability to achieve the results we truly desire is eroded by our feelings that: • • • •

Our beliefs are the truth.

The truth is obvious.

Our beliefs are based on real data.

The data we select are the real data.”

Peter’s words warn us to be very careful about what we believe. We must test what we believe, choose the correct data and take an objective look at what the data says. Then and only then can we allow the data to support or perhaps discredit our beliefs. Many of the individuals I encounter in my travels as a speaker share with me their lack of belief in their life’s purpose, their talents, and calling. They’re stuck in a belief that dreams, desires, and destiny must be for somebody else. I believe

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

this belief comes from false data that has never been tested. By default, we grow up experiencing all sorts of encounters that tell us who we are and we believe it. Instead, we need to create experiences that tell us the real data about who we are. With the right data, we’ll be able to see clearly and believe we have a purpose. Let’s get started!

Self-Esteem Exercises to Build Belief, Find Purpose and Ultimately Love Others

•The Talent Tally

Make an exhaustible list of the talents, skills, and strengths you possess. Ask your family, your co-workers, and your friends. At least, compile a list of 25 talents. When you’ve got 25 go for 25 more. Keep this list posted and in clear view so you can review it daily. As your consciousness rises, you’ll find yourself adding even more talents. Over time, this list and its review will put the real data in your mind so you will believe you have purpose that must pour out love in some way.

•Points of Light Jot down 5-10 shiny, bright, and warm experiences from your history.

These will include clearly illuminated moments from your past: “Aha’s”, key events, and critical incidences that were extremely positive. To do this, think about the flow of energy, choices, events, and directions your life/work have taken. Your list might include: significant people along the journey, places, or experiences that shed light on your choices in personal direction, your ideals about the world, and your unique insights.

Note anything that gave you a new understanding of yourself.

•Synthesize Now that you have uncovered your talents and careful selected positive experiences that represent you in your best light, you have a solid basis for belief. Answer these powerful questions: • • • •

What do your talents and positive experiences say about you?

What are you capable of?

What is your life’s purpose?

Who needs you to pour out your purpose so they can experience your love?

At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www.thelydiagroup.com

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orches are not just to sit on during the day time. I love to stand on mine, leaning on the railing, just looking at the stars and moon. Sometimes even during the cold months. The crisp air is so invigorating and on a clear cold night, it just seems like the stars are bigger and brighter than normal.

I am not one who can immediately look up and spot the constellations. Others can say they “see” them but when they try to point them out and explain the shape they make, well, I just don’t see it. In fact, I think it is way easier to see the objects in the clouds than in the stars.

There are a lot of things that we know about stars….like if you wish on a falling star, it will come true. That is pretty much how I got my first boyfriend. Although I do think he was from Mars…. no wait…he was from Venus! All I can say is be careful what you wish for when you are wishing on stars. It is much better to stick with the wishes when you blow out your candles on your birthday cake…..uh, unless you don’t get them all!

However, we were talking about the constellations and their shapes. It takes some vivid imagination to come up with the shape of Aquarius, the water bearer. The closest I ever got to that one was in the hippie years and everyone was singing “The age of Aquarius”. This old hippie friend of mine could not believe that “I could not see it man!” Maybe it was because I could not stand close enough to him because of the way he smelled when he was trying to get me to see it.

The stories are interesting though; such as Aquarius – The Water Bearer. The story has it that he was the most handsome young man the gods had ever seen. While attending to his father’s flocks he caught the attention of Zeus. Zeus sent his messenger Aquila down to earth to bring him back to Mount Olympus.

There he served the gods by bringing them water whenever they needed it. Zeus honored his service by placing a constellation called Aquarius among the stars. Yet, I can’t find him out there anywhere.

by Judy Smith

My grandson bought his girlfriend a star for Christmas this year. I don’t know who he paid for it because I didn’t know they were for sale. His girlfriend loved it. She was ecstatic over it and thought it was the most romantic thing she had ever heard of. They were trying to show it to me one night but for the life of me I could not tell the difference from one to another. I just hope she doesn’t ever want to sell it. You can go to jail for things like that you know. People go to jail all the time for selling things that don’t belong to them. I just hope my grandson got a legitimate receipt from whomever he bought it from.

One night I was out looking for her star and finally thought I may have found it. I called my husband to come quickly so I could show him. He took one look and told me it was just a satellite. “But wait” he said. “I do see Orion.” Really, you see all that? A master hunter of the winter skies that lords over the heavens from late fall to early spring, with his hunting dog Sirus trailing at his feet. You see all that?

Maybe I will buy him a star for his birthday! Now put that in your pipe and smoke it, man!

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 11

Loving Your Teen,

Even if you don’t always like them

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

“Well, do you think you’re in love with him?” I asked. After looking up toward the corner of the room and quietly reflecting on the question, she slyly smiled and responded, “Well, I would have to say I’m in ‘in like’ rather than ‘in love’ at this point.” She went on to tell me that her strong feelings of affection toward this guy helped her know that she liked him but she wasn’t sure she had the steadfast and unwavering commitment that she associated with true love. For a young college student in her first real relationship, she did a decent job expressing the difference.

As a counselor I get to hear a lot of people reflect upon their feelings about the significant others in their life. It’s not just young people in love who have a lot to say about their feelings.

It’s also parents reflecting on their feelings about their teenagers.

The difference, however, is that the sequence of like to love is completely the opposite. Most declare that they love their teen and remain dedicated to them, but sometimes, they just aren’t ‘in like’ with them.

Some parents feel so guilty about this admission. Others find it freeing to be completely frank about their feelings toward their teen, especially when they are parenting a teen who is rebellious, moody, antagonistic or just difficult for some reason. Though it may not always be wise or helpful to share these candid feelings with a teen, I do believe that many parents need to find the freedom in acknowledging how they feel about their teen with someone they trust. It’s not uncommon for the warm and affectionate feelings that we have toward our kids to suddenly disappear or fade for a time. Regardless of the circumstances or the length of time, the steadfast devotion and commitment that characterizes our love for our kids can and will carry our relationship if we allow that love to flow between us even when we don’t like them at the moment. While it can certainly be hard to extend mercy, grace and love to someone we don’t like, God commands us to love even our enemies. He certainly doesn’t say love them if you like them.

I openly admit that there have been many times that I have not been ‘in like’ with one or more of my teens. Instead of feeling guilt ridden over my fickle emotions, if I am willing to focus on God’s love for me - that even though I was an enemy of God, Christ died for me - then I am able to more easily extend this amazing love toward them even when I’m not feeling it (Romans 5:10). When I don’t like one of my teens, I make it our priority to still demonstrate my love for them by doing one or more of the following:

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

• Say “I love you” to them. They need to be reminded that my love remains, especially when they see evidence of those feelings of dislike in my expressions or hear it in my tone.

• Pursue them. It’s easy to turn away and disconnect from our teens when we don’t like them. Do the opposite and demonstrate God’s love by reaching out and caring for them when they least expect it.

• Hear them. As a little girl, I would stick my fingers in my ears and hum really loud so that I could tune out the person who made me mad. We can demonstrate that love listens even if our hearts are filled with a mixed bag of emotions.

• Engage them in an activity that may bring about laughter.

Right now, this is YouTube in our home. Even when there is a bit of dissension between us, my kids will still sit beside me to watch another hilarious video. Laughter is indeed good medicine.

• Hug them. While I don’t expect a teen who is mad at me to embrace me with gusto, I know that a hug can reminds us both that we are still connected, that our relationship is still here.

It’s amazing what I have observed over the years. When I choose to allow His love to flow from me by engaging in some of these loving behaviors when they least ‘deserve’ my love, my teens seem so much more responsive and seemingly aware that this love did not start in me. In a way, choosing to love our teens when we admit that we don’t really like them gives us both an opportunity to experience what perfect love looks like and feels like.

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

Chasing Beauty

by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (Proverbs 31:30)

Friend to Friend From the time I was a young girl I wanted to be beautiful. In the fifth grade, I resorted to desperate measures in a very “eleven-year-old, clueless-adolescent” kind of way. I distinctly remember some bright blue eye shadow being involved.

I can even picture in my mind what said unauthorized makeup looked like in its case – like a pallet that would normally hold watercolor paint.

Five fabulous, or not so fabulous, color options ranging from pale green to bright blue were available to this pre-adolescent. Mercy!

Please keep in mind, we are talking about the early eighties here. Blue eye shadow was all the rage and a very accepted beauty solution. It was everywhere! On magazine covers, commercials, and on every older woman in church. I think even Marsha Brady was wearing it on TV. Trust me when I say that, back then, most of the girls my age took beauty cues from Marsha Brady.

I know. Scary.

I rode the bus to elementary school, which gave me a brief, unsupervised window of opportunity in the mornings to misbehave and sneak around between exiting the big yellow taxi and entering the classroom.

My neighbors Brenda and Sally sometimes adventured with me to the West Hempfield Elementary School beauty salon: the girls’ bathroom.

As long as we made it to our classrooms before the bell rang, we were golden.

Enter the blue eye shadow.

I’m not sure where my eye shadow kit came from. It could’ve been a hand-me-down from an aunt or a family friend. It could have been a garage sale find. I don’t remember. I am certain, however, that at that point in my life, eye shadow was supposed to be for play, not for school.

Not being one to get tripped up over details, I ran to the girls’ room and generously smudged the bright blue cream on my eyelids. Then, feeling I had reached a higher level of beauty, I proceeded to Miss Lewis’s boring fifth grade class.

As I remember it, several days of eye-colored bliss passed. In my mind, I was cool and hip. In reality, not so much. During some quiet work time one morning, Miss Lewis called me up to her desk. With a hushed teacher-tone, she asked me, “Does your mother know you’re wearing that eye shadow to school?”

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

“Yes, Miss Lewis,” I said. “My mom lets me wear this.”

“Well, Gwen,” She whispered, “I might just need to call your mother and ask her about that.”

Then she sent me back to my seat.

I sat in fear as I entertained dreadful thoughts of being found out. Miss Lewis never did call my mom, but the day I was called up to her desk was the last day I wore bright blue eye shadow at school. (At least in the fifth grade.)

The truth of the matter is, I just wanted to feel beautiful. I thought that if I were beautiful, people would like me better. They would accept me more. I cared about what other people thought about me.

I wanted to measure up. To some degree, I still do. Can you relate?

We all want to be beautiful. And that’s okay! It’s fine to want be beautiful. To take care of yourself. To gloss your lips and throw Spanks on your hips. But what we need to be cautious of is blurring the lines between physical beauty, spiritual beauty, and personal worth.

Measuring up to Hollywood’s version of beautiful has never been, nor ever will be, what God desires for us. God cares much more about our internal beauty, our reverence and love for Him, than our external beauty.

The Bible says, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30) Join me in chasing His beauty today.

Let’s Pray

Dear God, You are the true source of all that is good and lovely! Help me to quit chasing the attention and approval of others and instead pursue the deep beauty found in Your presence and Your promises.

In Jesus’s name, Amen.

Now it’s Your Turn

Pray and ask God to make His beauty known to you. Pray that He will open your eyes to see beauty as He sees beauty. Journal about what God is teaching you. I would love to hear about it too… Take this conversation deeper in the comments section of my blog.

More From the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion is an excerpt of Gwen’s book Broken into Beautiful.

If this message resonated with you and if you would like to learn more about how your brokenness can be reworked into a picture of God’s beauty, order the book. Go to Amazon or, for a signed copy, visit her website.

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Seven Techniques to Train Your Brain and Change Your Life

By Edie Raether

If you are stuck with recycled goals and the same New Year’s Resolutions year after year, it is obvious something is not working. While goal setting and good intensions are a good place to start, habits trump commitments. Nothing will change until you change your subconscious mind by rewiring your mental software and change your belief system.

Like goals and intentions, developing new skills and stuffing yourself with all the latest and greatest self-help information is a start, but none of your efforts will bring about the desired changes in your behavior or your bad habits would have been broken years ago.

Getting Unstuck and Off Auto Pilot "First we make our habits and then our habits make us. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." – Aristotle.

You must first identify any self-sabotaging behaviors that are fueled by irrational fears that obstruct your path to success. Failure is caused by neural dissonance or a disconnect between your subconscious beliefs and established goals. The Amygdala, part of the limbic system or emotional brain, is both a curse and a blessing. Whether the potential danger is real or imagined, it sends a signal causing fear and a return to one’s safety or comfort zone, thus preventing the risks necessary for personal growth.

You must observe it with emotional distance to detach and then move forward to reclaim your personal power.

There are various methods to rid yourself of fears and ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts). I personally use hypnosis with my clients to release negativity and recondition the brain so the subconscious or implicit memory matches your conscious or explicit goals. By creating neural coherence you will get results and make your New Year's resolutions stick.

What Would You Be Doing If You Knew You Couldn't Fail?

Imagine that you could have it all. What would you do and be in your life? What feats would you dare to accomplish and where would you go?

Just imagine your life, lived without limits .In order to reach an intended destination, you have to know your intended destination. Affirmations— clear, definitive statements declaring something is so—solidifies your ideas of where you want to go or how you want to change. Without exception, positive affirmation is the first step to all advancement and achievement. The most powerful and successful affirmations are the ones we design around our goals in the areas of our life that are most important to us: money, health, spiritual connection, a job you love, and great relationships with your family and friends. If you don’t take the time to decide what you want for yourself, circumstance or someone else will choose for you. This is not how life is supposed to be.

Affirmations are self-fulfilling prophecies. Think of affirmations as the core principles of the life you are visualizing. Affirmations are your To Be List—powerful reminders throughout the day that keep you on track toward your goals and dreams. You deserve to decide for yourself exactly what and who you’ll become and what you’ll acquire along the way.

Through a process called neural reconditioning, your goals and dreams are transformed into neural patterns in your subconscious brain. For example, if you were to run a marathon, it’s not something you decide one day and do the next. It takes time, practice and specific strategies.

pg 16 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

You need to work-out daily to tone and strengthen your muscles to meet the new demands and challenges. When activities are repeated, your nervous system establishes neural pathways or habits for ease and efficiency. In the same way, positive affirmations provide new data for the subconscious brain to get hardwired. As a mental marathon, it require the same daily, consistent effort.

Seven Techniques to Train Your Brain and Change Your Life 1. Create a new, powerful, physical and mental vision. Make your goals emotionally rich and crystal clear.

2. Create powerful declarations and affirmations in each category— health, wealth, relationships, business and spirituality—that support your new vision. Through repetition you will begin to replace your old beliefs and habits with new ones.

3. Maintain a daily routine of reconditioning techniques: For 5-7 minutes, three times a day, use photos, vision boards, mental movies, self-guided imagery, real-life movies, recorded and laminated affirmations. Bombard all of your senses for optimal results.

4. Practice meditation daily. Meditation can increase your focus and concentration, increase your power of concentration and attune the brain to receive the answers, tools and resources needed to fulfill that vision. By strengthening your ability to quiet your mind, you will increase your power of intent and focus. As you do so, elements of your personal and business success will start to take shape in your mind. When you take a seat, take a deep breath and choose to be mindful.

5. Rewrite your life script and play it out in your imagination for a mere thought creates measurable biological changes. Think of a scary movie that caused your heart to race. The subconscious is a captive audience for the movies of your mind.

6. Embed your self-crafted stories and images with powerful emotions. Emotion ignites “motion” and the motivation for change.

7. Visualize your ideal life to reshape your perception of reality.

Reality will then conform to your ideal perception of yourself and your life. How effectively you are able to move an idea from your conscious (imagination) to your subconscious (belief/action) will determine your success. While the conscious mind has great ideas, it is useless in getting things done. You must have a vision to manifest your dreams and aspirations. No matter what your current circumstances, if you imagine something better for yourself, you will create it. You will become unstoppable.

Edie Raether is a Change Strategist, international speaker and world-renowned authority on negotiations, brain-based performance, and pride-inspired motivation. Edie is a coach, consultant, hypnotherapist and a bestselling author with seven books in over a dozen languages. To learn more about the art of negotiation, visit www.raether.com

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pg 18 | Sophie Womanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Magazine | February 2015

Getting a handwritten letter nowadays is extraordinary, as people often do not take the time to write letters in an age when emailing, texting and tweeting have revolutionized the way people communicate with one another. However, writing notes, letters and exclamations of love can be more intimate, especially on Valentine's Day. In France, love letters are called billet doux. The French are known to be romantics at heart, but that doesn't mean people from all over the globe can't put pen to paper to express their feelings. Handwritten letters are often seen as thoughtful gestures, especially when those letters are expressing intimate sentiment.

Here are some guidelines for writing a love note or letter. * Visit a stationery store and find a nice piece of stationery and envelope to use for the letter. If you are putting forth the effort to create a beautiful, handwritten letter, you can add to the experience by selecting a fine paper on which to write. There are many different types of paper, including some that are embossed.

Some may even feature flower petals or leaves embedded in the paper. * Brush up on your penmanship. A letter will be rendered useless if it isn't legible. Therefore, practice penmanship before sitting down to write your letter. * Have a picture of the person to whom you will be addressing the letter nearby. This may provide some inspiration.

Revive the art of

Letter Writing

* Jot down ideas on a piece of scrap paper. Think about how your romantic partner makes you feel and the qualities he or she possesses that you find appealing, and use concrete examples why you love and care for this person. * Write a rough draft of the letter and be sure to proofread it for misspellings and grammatical errors. * Always write from the heart and be sincere in what you say.

Try to call out specific examples that recall particularly fond memories. * Write your final copy of the letter on the good paper. Make sure it is neat and legible. Be sure you date it because it is likely the note will be saved. * You may want to wait a day or two before sending the letter to be sure the sentiments you expressed are truly what you want to say. If so, mail or hand deliver the note.

Love letters and other handwritten notes are quickly becoming a thing of the past, as technology has largely replaced pen and paper. Yet, those who want to add a special touch to any occasion can choose to write a letter and make a lasting impression.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 19

For Love of Family

By Cyndi Caldwell

Family dynamics are never easy, but they can be especially complicated when it comes to decisions that surround the process of aging. In a perfect world, the family unit works together to provide their senior the best options and loving outcomes. Remember, I said "in a perfect world." Unfortunately, this isn't always the case.

Families with a senior struggle because of differing opinions on care, location, money, property, time constraints and more. Even the strongest family groups can be torn apart during this stressful time. While doing research on the issue of conflict resolution, I came across leadership expert Michael Hyatt and his thoughts on conflict resolution in the workplace. No, we're not dealing with bosses, and employees; however, these same basic steps with a little tweaking can be very useful when working through issues within the family. Communication is critical when seeking the best possible outcome, so before the threads of the family unravel, consider steps 1 and 2, then open the dialogue with steps 3-6.

1. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they don't know all the facts involved in caring for your loved one or are unaware of the total amount of time you spend in care activities. Are you making assumptions regarding their willingness to help? Stop - and keep an open mind and open heart.

2. Always speak directly to the person with whom you are having an issue. How many times do we complain about someones behavior but yet don't let them know our concerns?That hardly seems fair. If you are upset with a family member, caregiver, or friend, talk specifically to them. Don't share your feelings with others who can have no impact on the situation.

When you do decide to have a meaningful conversation to resolve your concerns:

3. Affirm the relationship. Let this person know that you love and value them, and are opening up because you care about your relationship. Let them know that you need to share something that is bothering you so that you can resolve it together. Confirm the fact that you have a common interest in what is best for your senior loved one.

4. Outline the issue objectively. This is often hard to do since these topics are emotionally charged but try to isolate exactly what is causing you pain. For example, simply saying you feel "taken advantage of" is not specific enough. Isolate what the circumstances are that cause you to feel this way. "I am currently taking Mom to all of her doctor appointments." "I am responsible for handling the expenses for Dad's

pg 20 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

care and he doesn't have the funds to cover it." Write down your pain points so you don't get off track.

5. Be clear about what it will take to fix the problem. It is important to communicate and then listen. Be clear about what meaningful measurable steps can be taken to move forward. "I need your help in taking Mom to her appointments. If you can take her to run errands, I can take her to doctor appointments, but I can't continue to do both." You also need to listen to understand the dynamic of how together you can reach positive resolution.

6. Discuss the outcome - positive and negative - and the consequences.

The outcome you hoped for could be as simple as being upfront and open. Congratulations! However, should you find that you can not resolve the problem at least you will know where you stand and can make decisions accordingly. Opening the lines of communication with your family member or caregiver helps to make things transparent. If the resolution is not what you had in mind, then this is the time to indicate what the consequences will be. "If you can't find a way to help me with Dad's care, then I fear that the family and our relationship will suffer irreparable damage." "You've stated that you can't help take some of the responsibilities for Mom's care. That will mean we will have to hire some help. I will need you to assist in covering the cost and interview caregivers."

There is no guarantee that open communication will solve all the concerns of caring for seniors that we love, however, it is the best tool in our tool belt. If you are still struggling to work together, don't throw in the towel just remember: Patience, time, and prayer are powerful healers.

Happy Valentine’s Day

About The Author As a CERTIFIED SENIOR ADVISOR* Cyndi is on a mission to advise Seniors and their family members on viable options in Senior Care and Dementia Care.

She is an accomplished writer and public speaker - focused on educating the community on senior services and Alzheimer’s disease. Currently Cyndi is a Certified Senior Advisor* with Seniors Helping Seniors –a service providing care FOR seniors BY SENIORS – so that families can stay in their homes and age in place.

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The Gift of Tears

By Mary Felkins

“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”

– William Shakespeare Imagine if your To Do list read like this: *Buy groceries *Drop off dry cleaning *Call bank *Pay mortgage *Cry I’ll never forget that evening during a trying season of life. When the weekly woman’s support group I attended came to a conclusion one of the members - astute, hair grayed with wisdom - fixed her blue eyes on mine. “I pray God gives you the gift of tears.”

My chest tightened. I felt my eyes glaze over. Gift? What gift, lady?

With her compassionate, yet laser stare, she’d seen right through my GI Jane fascade. My valiant attempt to convey that all was well hadn’t fooled her. Somehow she’d exposed the heart cry of my soul.

Prior to that I’d not considered crying a gift. More like a nuisance, making a mess of my mascara, exposing my inability to suck it up and carry on (Er, be my own God?).

Crying, weeping, wailing. What’s it all about, these tiny drops produced in my lacrimal glands that pour from my eyes? They have been known to surface during a movie when the hero saves the day, good triumphs over evil. Or when radiant bride heads down the aisle to dashing groom. That’ll always have me reaching for a tissue.

Planned or not, a good cry is physiologically therapeutic. It’s a known fact that tears contain potent stress hormones that would otherwise wreak havoc on my heart and blood pressure. These toxins are also excreted in sweat, a good explanation as to why men have less need to cry than woman since they typically sweat more. So when life piles high that’s justification to exercise the gift of tears with intention and detox. Kinda like emotional sweat.

Like any gift, crying has the potential to be misused, abused, overused. It begs the question, is crying always the right response to my circumstances?

There’s a story recorded in the gospel of John, chapter 11. Maybe you’ve read it. A man named Lazarus died and was laid in a tomb. His sisters, Mary and Martha mourned his death. When Mary learned that Jesus, the healer of diseases, was nearing their village, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” (possibly code for, ‘I am crying my eyes out because I put in request for a miracle healing and didn’t get it’) She continued to weep.

When Jesus saw this He was deeply troubled. We’re not told why.

But simply stated, “Jesus wept.” (vs 35) It’s clear that His sorrow wasn’t because He didn’t arrive in time to save the guy. In fact, Jesus chose to stay where He was two more days before trekking to Bethany.

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

I believe His tears were relationship-driven. Those He loved lacked faith, still didn’t understand Who He was. They didn’t trust His unfailing love and goodness even though there’d been a death.

Following the resurrection account in the same gospel, a woman named Mary Magdalene stood at Jesus’ empty tomb and peered inside.

She found the Lord had been taken away - or so she thought. And she wept (John 20:11). These weren’t ‘I just cut an onion’ tears but loud expressions of grief.

She was asked by two angels sitting inside the tomb, “Woman, why are you crying?” (Oh, what this Mary wouldn’t give to have been there with a haughty head shake and a “Duh, guys” on her behalf. Might even have been tempted to whap each of them with a strip of linen burial cloth.)

But then, the resurrected Jesus appears. Always timely. He repeats the question but addresses her unbelief by asking, “Who is it you are looking for?” Mary sought something. God knew she needed Him. I, too, ask for things in prayer, then peek inside the tomb to retrieve my answer only to find, well, nothing. Or so it appears. And I cry. But not for more of Him. Rather for the fact that my expectations were unmet.

Or that His answer is, ‘You’ll have to wait a bit longer.’ Heaven must plug its ears to hear the likes of Charlie Brown’s droning teacher exiting my mouth. ‘Wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah, wah-wah...’

As much as it isn’t healthy for me to remain emotionally stalwart, it isn’t wise to misuse the gift of tears. I glance at my strategically placed box of tissues. Nearly empty. Hmmm.

I’ve learned to determine what’s driving my sorrow. Have I misplaced a shoe? Cell phone not charging? Is my ungrateful heart feeding the lie that God isn’t good?

Uh, save the tears.

But social injustice, godlessness, abandonment, addiction, broken relationships, death?

Let them flow. Jesus did. For righteous reasons.

Points to ponder: ◊ You and I have been given the gift of tears. It is sound practice to exercise this gift. ◊ Stress-related toxins lost through sweat? Take a walk, head to the gym. ◊ Emotions being sometimes irrational, a good cry might help dentify the source of your sorrow. ◊ And ask yourself His question, “Who is it you are looking for?”

(Pssst. Is it more of Him?) In the mean time, I’ve got a loved one who is sick. So where’s that box of tissues? I feel a good crying coming on.

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She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

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Puttionthne ’

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E

ven though brides always look stunning on their wedding day, what about the groom? He should look good too. You have to admit, most guys look totally different when they put on a tux. Tux styles have changed over the past few years, so much so that there are hundreds of styles and colors from which to choose. And they tend to be more comfortable. We are going to touch on a few facts about tuxes along with some pointers.

From my experience, there are four different times during the day that most people plan their wedding.

Late morning, afternoon, early evening and an evening wedding. The first three are usually considered an informal affair and the latter, formal.

A morning wedding is usually timed anywhere from ten to eleven. The reception is almost always brunch, whether it’s a table service or buffet. Most of the tuxes worn during this time look very much like a suit. Depending on the time of year, and whether the wedding is held inside or out, most grooms choose a simple design. During the Winter, a dark tux like black, charcoal, or navy works well. And in warmer weather, the guys can choose from sand, light to medium gray or even a charcoal gray. Most grooms choose a vest and tie (or bowtie) for this time of day. And there are those who will choose white or ivory regardless of the time of day, month or year.

Early afternoon weddings are usually timed so everything is over by four or five. The tuxes are about the same as for morning weddings, but your tux can have a little more detail. Again, a vest and tie are appropriate and there are many patterns and colors available. Most of the receptions during this time feature light food, since it’s after lunch and before dinner.

Early evening weddings offer a bit more formality and the tux colors can be black, charcoal, navy or the new midnight blue. A suit style tux with a longer jacket looks really good. As before, a vest and tie work well for this.

The evening wedding, six or after, is always formal.

This is the only time that tuxedos with “tails” can be worn.

Also, a shirt with the wing collar and bow tie support this look. The groom can wear white vest, shirt and bow tie with a black tux with the groomsmen wearing black vests and bow ties.

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

There will always be exceptions and here are a few:

• For beach or destination weddings, light colored suits or tuxes can be worn any time of day. Most do not use vests, some do not even use ties. Shoes are usually optional as well.

• Prom guys wear anything. Enough said.

• One of the trends now is shirts with just suspenders, no ties or jackets. This is becoming more common with outdoor weddings.

Now for some rules and pointers:

• Except for the most formal wedding, regular dress shoes can be worn as long as the colors are the same on everyone. White shoes should only be worn with a white tux, no black or any other color.

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• Never mix tux styles in the same wedding party.

• If anyone in the wedding party normally wear their pants well below their belly button, they should wear suspenders. Otherwise, it looks very sloppy. Plus, no one will see them unless the jacket is removed.

• Most tux pants come with built-in waist adjusters.

• Be careful when ordering slim or modern fit pants for guys that are not slim.

• Wear appropriate shoes when being measured for a tux. Sneakers or boots are not a good idea.

• If not sure about the size tux that is being ordered, ask them to double-check your measurements.

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• Companies now offer a micro fiber shirt that is much softer than the original.

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• There are so many options and looks available for anyone looking for a tux or formal suit. They can be rented or purchased and the same goes for the accessories. If you are renting, keep in mind that most of the tux dealers receive the tuxes just a few days before the event and expect them back in their shop soon after.

• Make a day and time for all the guys to be measured. If that can’t happen, give them a deadline. Let them know ahead of time that a deposit is expected before the tuxes are ordered.

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



The human brain is an intricately delicate flower. When neglected or poisoned, it wilts away and dies. But when properly cared for, nourished, and cultivated, it produces a product so beautiful, that nothing can compare with its radiance.

As we work with children of all shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds, we see a common theme: A child’s mind was meant for much more than memorizing facts to spout out on standardized testing. It was created to be molded and challenged; to be developed and unfolded; to be watered, fertilized, grown, and harvested.

At Hickory Christian Academy, we seek to develop the entire person, and to create learners who hunger to continue to grow in knowledge far beyond Friday’s test. We seek to promote an intellectual curiosity that will increase the quality of a long life, not just gain them acceptance into college. Most of all, we seek to understand that Christ is the center of all knowledge and truth. It was He who said, “apart from Me, you can do nothing.” (John 15:5b), to which Paul added, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). If the Bible is true, and we really can do all things through Christ, but nothing apart from Him, why would we separate Jesus from the education of our children? He is the key to their success.

in Education

HCA strives to educate children through the time-honored methodology of Classical Christian education. We integrate instruction in Latin, Logic, and Rhetoric to stimulate the mind of young learners, and to enhance their understanding of their own English language, as well as literature, math, science, and history. The methodology of a classical education changes with the natural changing of the human brain, from a “soaking in” of information when young, to a topical debate format when adolescents, to a self-expression environment as young adults. Education is much more complex than answering A,B,C,D on a bubble sheet. It is truly the formation of thought processes that will grow a student into a successful adult who makes a difference, and who strives to continue to deepen their knowledge of things that really matter in life.

We invite you to explore the Christian community of Hickory Christian Academy. It is a community where families seek to partner with one another to protect and enhance the spiritual walk of our children, challenging them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, strength and MIND. If it truly does take a village to raise a child, this is where it happens.

For more information on HCA, visit www.hickorychristian.com, call the school office at 828-324-5405, or come by and see us at 3260 6th St. Dr. NW Hickory, NC 28601.

See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.

– Colossians 2:8

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 27

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Have you fully unleashed the lover in you?

I recently overheard someone say that they didn’t like the month of February because of Valentine's Day. If you were in a relationship, this person's view was that there was the pressure to do something romantic or unexpected, and if you weren't in a relationship, then you were a bit of an outcast on that day — not having a special valentine to call your own. In my opinion, that is very limited thinking in so many ways.

One of the definitions of "valentine" in the dictionary is "a written or other artistic work, message, token, etc., expressing affection for something or someone." Notice how it is also about showing affection for something and that "someone" could be anyone, not just a romantic interest. A definition of "lover" in the dictionary is "a person who has a strong enjoyment or liking for something." This speaks to the very passion of your being.

What do you love to do? What do you love to enjoy? What are the things that you love along with all the people you love?

Consider how you can fully embrace the lover in you: Lover of Life: How do you wake up each day? Do you arise with a sense of anticipation and excitement or anticipation and dread? Loving your life is about how you perceive and exist within your life. If you are not happy or feel as though life is handing you challenge after challenge, take a moment to understand what could make your life more enjoyable. Then do whatever you need to do to get to that more satisfying place. When you can awake each day looking forward to what will transpire, you have crossed into the realm of experiencing life versus just staying alive. Why not use Valentine's Day to do something you simply enjoy doing, either alone or with friends? Experience something you've always wanted to experience. Try something new that will stimulate your senses or intellect.

Lover of Nature: When's the last time you were outside and you took a moment to look around you at the wonder of nature and our world? Continuing to have a child-like appreciation for what flourishes all around us in nature can renew your spirit as well as your sense of belonging to something almost magical. The stars in the sky. Clouds that look like shapes of things. Flowers blooming.

A summer breeze. Rain bringing on a rainbow. An ocean sunrise or sunset. Mountain air and a rippling stream. These examples and so many more that you could probably think of prove that we exist in a place of beauty, bounty and possibilities. Why not use

Valentine's Day as a day to explore this amazing world we live in? Go for a hike. Take a stroll in nature. Whatever gets you out and enjoying the natural splendor of things, do it.

Lover of Inspiration: Our minds and their ability to imagine, innovate and create is astounding in each and every one of us. An inspired mind is a healthy, active mind. We love to be inspired, each of us in our own special way. When we continue to nurture our need for inspiration, we become inspired to do, be, and embrace each moment so much more completely. We work better and have more energy when we are continuously inspired. Why not use Valentine's Day to do something inspirational? Go to a museum or an art gallery. Go to a performance or event. Go watch children play uninhibited by their imaginations. Whatever it is that inspires you, do it.

Lover of Self: In the definition of "valentine" that someone could be you as well. Have you been forgetting about you lately?

Have you been so focused on everyone else and all that needs to get done that you have taken a back seat? Are you self-critical, always questioning what you are doing, how you look, or how you think? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, it is time for you to show a little self-love. Why not use Valentine's Day as a spa day or self-care day? Schedule a indulgent appointment for yourself as a special gift to yourself for being so lovable and loving. Nurture yourself in a way that breathes life and love back into you.

Therefore, Valentine's Day can be so much more for each of us if we simply expand its meaning into expressing affection for what we love along with who we love. Then it becomes a celebration of love in many forms that opens us up to a spectrum of joy, acceptance and contentment, that will only bring even more enjoyment to living each day.

Bio: Sherré DeMao inspires millions through her monthly columns, weekly Insight eZine and national contributing writing. An expert strategist and marketer focused on entrepreneurs, her unique perspective and innovative approach has earned numerous awards regionally, nationally and internationally including being named among the Top 50 Enterprising Women of North America in 2007.

Her books, Me, Myself & Inc. (www.memyselfandinc.com) and 50 Marketing Secrets (www.50marketingsecrets.com) have received national acclaim as Top Business Shelf picks and must-reads.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

V

Decorate with Love!

by Susan Guest, ASID

alentines Day is a great opportunity to let your loved ones and friends know that they matter to you. My hubby and I host a Valentine party almost every year to pay back others who invite us to parties throughout the year. Whether you have a blow-out party or an intimate romantic evening, Valentines can be a fun time to decorate your home. After the Christmas décor is down, the space needs warmth in the cold winter months. What better way to celebrate and perk up your home than with pink and red hearts and flowers?

Every year, I try to find exciting ways to decorate the social areas of our home for Valentines. Something special for the dining table centerpiece, the mantle, and the front entry get the party started.

Centerpiece: One year, I sprayed tree branches white and hung red paper hearts from the branches in the middle of our dining table. Another year, a three foot cupid statue holding a red garland was the centerpiece. Cupcake towers worked well on the table one year until toward the end of the party when the goodies were gone! Monkeys and lips hung from the chandelier another year.

One of the things I use, when time is an issue and I have no creativity left, is to stack candy heart boxes and stuffed animals from past Valentines in the center of the table. Also, cards from Valentines Days past are good to place around the home as easy decorations. This year, I would like to make a centerpiece I saw on Pinterest that combines roses, succulents, and moss on a heartshaped form with ribbon around the edge.

Mantle: in the past, a swag a garland of heart lights has adorned the mantle. This year, I hope to do something different. Pinterest research has brought ideas such as burlap pendants with red hearts painted on them, or even a simple arrangement of red, pink and white candles on each side of a mirror with a heart in the center. One year orchids were the star of both the mantle and dining table. Another year, it was tulips. Tall cylinders with red hots and large candles would work for the mantle. Tied up with a pretty red ribbon, these cylinders are classy and simple. Mason jars with red and pink candies or candy hearts can be simple and

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

dramatic for your mantle of table. Use jars in different heights for interest or place boxes under the tablecloth if your jars are the same height.

Front Entry and Exterior: To welcome your loved one or friends, there are several things you can do to decorate your front entrance for Valentine’s Day. The most dramatic is to paint your front door red or cover it with red paper. (Could leave it up from Christmas!) Lighted garlands of hearts swaged over the door and luminaries in red bags lining the walkway add a festive feel to your exterior. Hang a heart wreath of flowers or other materials on your front door. For a romantic evening or a party outdoors, light a small fire in an outdoor fireplace or fire pit. Hang sparkly lights in trees or on railings and light candles for the exterior dining table if you choose to eat outside (hopefully with a heater this time of the year!)

Other Areas: For a romantic evening with your sweetie, you might decorate your bedroom with candles or soft lights, and drape sheer fabric around your bed. Some of the craft stores carry red and pink faux rose petals (or use real ones) that you can scatter from the front door to the bedroom or all over the bed. One of the floral manufacturers sells a home fragrance that smells like roses to complete the ambience. If you want to show hotel or cruise ship hospitality, you can shape two towels into kissing swans and place in the center of the bed. Float flowers, rose petals, or tea candles in your tub to finish the evening.

Hopefully these tips will inspire you to decorate your home for Valentine’s Day. Your family and friends will appreciate the extra effort you made to show them that you love them. No friends or family? Buy some chocolate and wine, decorate for yourself, and have a wonderful Valentines!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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“Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake Trifle,”courtesy of “A Decade of Cooking the Costco Way” (Toppan Lefung Printing), edited by Tim Talevich, pairs chocolate and cherries together with rich cream cheese, making a decadent dessert many will enjoy.

Chocolate Cherry Cheesecake Trifle Serves 6 to 8

Cake

1 cup egg whites Pinch of salt 1 teaspoon salt 11/4 cups sugar 1 teaspoon cream of tartar 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup flour 1/3 cup pitted and finely chopped fresh sweet cherries, divided

Cheesecake Filling 16 1/4 1/4 1/4 11/2 11/2 1

ounces cream cheese, softened cup sugar cup half-and-half cup pureed fresh sweet cherries cups finely chopped fresh sweet cherries cups shaved chocolate cup prepared whipped cream

1. Preheat oven to 325 F. To prepare the cake, with an electric mixer, beat egg whites with salt and cream of tartar until they begin to foam. Add sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. Mix in vanilla. Carefully fold in flour.

2. Pour half of the batter into an ungreased 9-inch tube pan and top with half of the chopped cherries. Pour in the remaining batter and sprinkle on the remaining cherries. Bake for 50 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let cool before removing from the pan. To prepare the filling, blend cream cheese and sugar with an electric mixer until smooth. Add half-and-half and pureed cherries.

3. To assemble, cut the cake into 1-inch cubes. In a trifle dish, place an even layer of cake cubes and cheesecake filling. Sprinkle with chopped cherries and shaved chocolate. Repeat layers until the trifle dish is full, finishing with whipped cream and the remaining cherries and chocolate on top.

pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

Recipes for ife

L

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Deliciously Creamy Fudge (Adapted from a Baker’s Corner recipe) 1 ¼ c. sugar 2/3 c. evaporated milk ¼ c. butter 16 marshmallows (regular size) ¼ tsp. salt 12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips OR 6 oz. milk chocolate chips and 6 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 tsp. vanilla 1. Place the first five ingredients in a saucepan and cook on medium-high heat. Stirring continuously, boil mixture for five minutes.

2. Remove pan from heat; stir in the chocolate chips until melted and add vanilla.

3. Pour fudge into a buttered 8x8 casserole dish and cool to room temperature. Refrigerate until completely chilled; cut into 1-inch squares.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father, You are the Lover of my soul, and nothing can separate me from Your extravagant love in Christ (see Rom. 8:38-39). I confess my occasional preoccupation with being loved instead of focusing on loving others, but I thank You for increasingly aligning my perspective with Yours. May my every thought, word, and deed be motivated by Your love today. In Jesus’ cherished name, Amen.

Food for the Soul How can something so easy taste so delicious? When I asked my kids which dessert recipe to feature in this month’s article, two of them immediately responded in unison, “Fudge!” So I complied, and now you can prepare this simple, sugary concoction for Valentine’s Day—sure to delight your sweetheart and loved ones.

If only showing love was always that easy. Despite the complexities that accompany loving well, love remains absolutely vital. If only one quality existed for us to impart, love would abide, for life lacks meaning without it.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” 1 Cor. 13:1-3, NASB Friends, we can spend our lives speaking words of wonder, but without love, they’re annoying. We can utilize tremendous spiritual insights, yet without love, we’re nothing. We can sacrifice all we own—even our very lives—and profit nothing if we don’t possess love.

So what is love exactly? While books and movies can cast this most excellent attribute in an ethereal glow replete with warm fuzzies, the Bible perfectly describes it:

“Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Cor. 13:4-7 Love is an attitude that affects how we treat others and respond to them.

Love is an action that enables us to restrain ourselves, seeking good on another’s behalf. And love is eternal because it outlasts everything else:

“Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor. 13: 8-13 Most compellingly, God is love (see 1 Jn. 4:8). If we ever wonder about almighty God’s character, we should turn to this description in 1 Corinthians 13. The Lord, who “delights in unchanging love” (Micah 7:18), shows love because He IS love.

Regrettably, I sometimes focus selfishly on how well others love me rather than how I can love them. Regardless of who reaches out to me, I can extend my heart and hands. Love blesses. Love encourages. Love meets needs.

Whether we’re making candy for special people, helping our neighbors, or venturing into painful places buried within, let’s LOVE. For without it, we’re nothing.

Until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers Word. into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog.

Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

Health to Thrive

Taking Your Health to Heart I hate to admit this but I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day! There, I said it! It feels like a holiday made up by retailers that forces us to show love to everyone around. But shouldn’t we be doing that every day and without the inflated prices? I had a thought, what if I showed the friends and family in my life how much I love them by making it a priority to take care of myself? As women we have so many people that rely on us to take care of them, feed them, love them and nurture them. Teaching them how to take care of themselves by taking care of ourselves is a gift that will last.

To begin here are a couple of areas to take to HEART.

Health is Movement

We aren’t getting out of this one! It’s non-negotiable. Exercise aids in the prevention of almost every disease and we know that it is good for our heart but so many times we don’t take the time to exercise our most important muscle.

The American Heart Association recommends that we exercise at least 3-4 times per week for 40 minutes. If this seems impossible, just start where you are. Walking is great exercise. Start by going for a short walk several days a week and gradually increase the duration.

Schedule a regular time to exercise with a friend or with different friends on different days. Not only will you benefit from the exercise but it’s a great way to catch up with friends and build a support system with each other.

As always, make sure to check with your doctor before starting an exercise routine.

Eat from the Earth

Our bodies were designed to eat food that is naturally occurring on this planet and therefore our diets should consist primarily of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and clean lean meats. Our bodies crave the nutrients that are in these foods. When we don’t consume them we continue to have cravings, which can lead to weight gain.

Sometimes we have a tendency to think we are eating healthier than we are. To get a truer picture think back to your last three meals. What did they primarily consist of? Could you have replaced a processed food for something that is fresh?

• •

A few ways to improve what we are consuming:

Make it a habit to add a fruit and a vegetable to each meal.

Reduce processed foods. A lot of processed foods are comprised of chemicals and ingredients that are foreign to our bodies. Replace them with real food.

pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | February 2015

• •

• • •

Start having Meatless Mondays. Beans are a great substitute for meat.

Eat fish twice a week. The American Heart Association recommends that we consume fish at least twice per week. Fish is an excellent source of omega-3 fatty acids. A diet high in omega3s may help lower the risk of coronary artery disease.

Let your kids help in the kitchen. This can definitely be messier but I find it is a great time to chat about the things going in their life while teaching them about healthy food options.

Eat chocolate! Dark Chocolate is high in flavoinoids which help to lower blood pressure, improve blood flow to the brain and heart, and make blood platelets less sticky and able to clot.

Reduce sodium intake. Many foods such as canned soups, deli meats, sauces, cottage cheese and processed foods are high in sodium. Be sure to check the labels.

Allow Yourself to Rest

When we sleep we allow our bodies to repair itself. Most people need between 7-8 hours of sleep each night. When we skimp on our sleep we have a harder time putting things into long-term memory, our stress levels rise and we have a tendency to gain weight.

Reduce Stress

I know this is much easier said than done! The Litmus test: Does anyone die if this doesn’t happen, doesn’t go the way I had planned, etc. if not, I’m letting it go! Yoga also helps to reduce stress and lowers blood pressure and heart rate.

Take to Heart Dana C. Killian, MBA Certified, Plant-Based Nutrition- eCornell University Dana is passionate about improving awareness around the importance of the food we feed ourselves and our families. Her mission is to equip and encourage women to use their influence to positively affect the health of our families. Dana is married to Jonathan Killian and they have two children, Gavin and Brianna.

Like Health to Thrive on Facebook to receive health information and share the health tips that are working for your family.

S

phie

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Did you know?

"Love" is a powerful word that describes one of the most potent human emotions.

The word is believed to have evolved from the Proto-Indo-European's word "leubh," which described care and desire nearly five thousand years ago.

The word was incorporated into Old English as "lufu," a noun meaning "deep affection" and a verb "lufian" meaning "to be very fond of."

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