Sophie Woman's Magazine - Aug 2015 Issue

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 6 / AUG 2015

Woman’s Magazine INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ The Power of Quiet | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Do you have the willingness to do VISION work?| Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Are you opening up enough? | Page 28

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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Heart from the

Life is one of those precious fleeting gifts, and everything can change in a heartbeat. - Anonymous Author

We all know this, right? However we go about our life, day by day, not really thinking about it and then WHAM…. Something happens that brings us back to that reality.

For everyone who has kept up with my articles you might think, I should know that as much as anyone and how could I possibly be lulled into the hum-drum of taking everyday activities for granted. After all, look at my background. Growing up in a very dysfunctional family, abuse, “getting out” by getting married when I shouldn’t have, losing everything I owned at one time, divorce, re-married, getting cancer, and my husband going through a long medical illness. My computer has Spelling and Grammar and all kinds of reviews to help me as much as “it” can to compose proper paragraphs and I am sure it will tell me I need to revise the sentence above. I assure you, there are a lot of other things I could have added between all the commas but I have to ask the question. Who hasn’t?

My life verse is 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. NKJV Now that verse tells me….get over it. You are not the only one!

So here I am trucking right along right after work, going into Michael’s to pick up a photo album. I get out my car, take a few steps and SMACK….I hit the pavement faster and harder than I thought possible. Took the wind right out of me and I could not breath or speak at first. Two precious ladies with their children

From The Editor: Judy Smith

came up to me immediately to find out if I am alright. Another lady came up a few seconds later to help. I did not get your names, so if you are reading this, Thank You so much for your kindness.

After I got my breath back, they helped me up and into the store where the sweet employees there helped me get a chair and cold towels to help with the feeling of fainting. I started to put the words “passing out” there but then I re-thunk it because that could take on a whole lot of translations. I could have passed out because I was drunk, or I could have passed out literature….so the word fainting is definitely the right word. Plus, just so you know, I was not drunk and that did not cause my fall.

So to wrap this story up, I tore up my right arm but thankfully it was not broken but my left ankle was broke. I am wheelchair bound and for everyone who knows me knows this is torture for me. Literally, I can hardly do anything.

I could do a pity party but will that make me get better any sooner? Absolutely not!!!! I can be thankful and give praise to my loving Father. Praise God that I did not hit my head on that pavement and Thank You Lord that I know you love me and care about every single thing about me. Now, I have time to read His Word more and pray more and to realize, everything can change in an instant.

Don’t take today for granted. Remember that God is the giver of life. If you know him, give Him thanks for all the things you are blessed with. If you don’t know Him, I would love to tell you about Him. If you have something you want me to pray with you about, remember, I have time. So send me an email to: judy@sophiewomansmagazine.com

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 3

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phie Woman’s Magazine

P.O. Box 1393 22 South Main Ave. Newton, NC 28658 (P) 828-466-0122 (F) 828-466-0124 Editor: Judy Smith Production Manager: Scott Hansley Sales: Saralyn McGalliard 828-244-1617 saralyn@sophiewomansmagazine.com Roxy Porter 828-640-4677 roxy@sophiewomansmagazine.com How to place an ad: Call our office at (828)466-0122 and leave a message. One of our sales representatives will return your call as soon as possible. You may also fax material to (828)466-0124. We reserve the right to refuse to run any ad we deem to be controversial or in bad taste.

A Special Thanks To All Of Our Distributors Please be sure to visit all of our participating advertisers and remember to support area local small businesses.

For more information about advertising or to view Sophie Woman’s Magazine online, visit our website at www.sophiewomansmagazine.com.

************************************************ Disclaimer: Sophie Woman’s Magazine LLC is published monthly.

The articles published in Sophie do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the publisher. All articles are intended for informational purposes only, and none should serve as a substitute for doctor’s advice and orders. Advertisers are solely responsible for the content and validity of information published within their ads and are not necessarily endorsed by the publisher. Deceptive or misleading advertising is not knowingly accepted by the publisher. Advertising is accepted with the understanding that all liability for copyright violations is the sole responsibility of the advertiser. All material submitted for publication is considered to be the sole property of the advertiser.

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Message from the Heart Eighth & Ninth Steps Sophisticated Women

3 6 8

How to Find Time for Exercise

12

Girlfriends in God

14

Newton Celebrates Soldiers Reunion

18

Summer “Maters”

22

How Did You Meet? part 3

24

The Front Porch

26

Me, Myself, & Inc.

28

Help! I’ve Been Robbed

30

Recipes for Life

32

Your Home IS Your Castle

36

Health to Thrive

38

Day In & Day Out

40

Don’t Be Afraid. You Are Not Alone.

44

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Eighth & Ninth Steps

By Gina DeNicola

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his morning as I sit on my balcony with my hot coffee and cool breeze in complete and utter comfort, the word “amends” was floating around my head. Not because I was on the 8th or 9th step of the 12step program, but because Rob was having breakfast with someone who was, and Rob was on his list. Before he left, I tried to be the encouraging Ladie and supportive wife. Be open, be receptive, and be respectful. Remember s Any Entree Specia the old Indian proverb, “Walk a mile in another man’s moccasins.” l!

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Does justifying your actions mean they don’t have to be on the “Amends” list? I don’t know because I’m not in the 12-step program, but as I went through that list in my head one by one, I came up with the one name that I couldn’t justify my actions. It’s a name from 5th or 6th grade that haunts me: Elizabeth Gerring.

In 1970 whatever, bullying was not in the front of everyone’s mind like it is today. A boy named Jerome certainly bullied me. He was a bratty little kid and he punched me in my ear, knocking my head against the brick wall of outside wall of the gym. I went home, told my dad and he immediately put me in the car and drove us to Jerome’s house. When Jerome opened the door and my dad saw he was about a foot shorter than me, he looked at me and said, “Are you kidding me?” and back in the car and home we went. But that same year, I am not proud of it, I was a bully to Elizabeth.

We use to have these “Listening Stations” in 5th & 6th grade; there would be 7 of us sitting around a table with headphones on listening to something. What I remember most was you could talk and the other kids would hear it through the headphones. This is where the bullying happened. I remember chanting “Elizabeth Gerring is a herring” and all the other kids laughing, well all except for Elizabeth. This haunts me to this day. With all the social media out there Elizabeth Gerring is a person I CANNOT find and believe me I have looked.

So, I’m sorry Elizabeth, what I did to you was unacceptable and wrong.

There are no excuses. I was mean and stupid, and if I could go back to Center Street Elementary School and take it all back I would in a heartbeat.

Just writing I’m sorry doesn’t make me feel any better, but maybe that is what Step 9 is for, the in-person amends. It’s an interesting exercise to perform, making that list. I challenge you to make your own list, whether or not you act on it is a different story, but just make the list.

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By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

To create a life that is vibrant, one pulsating with energy, excitement, and enthusiasm, a clear vision must be imagined. Doing vision work can be a challenge. It requires this uncommon character trait called willingness. As Mike Hernacki states in his classic little book, The Ultimate Secret, “By way of definition, willingness is a frame of mind which is open to every possible demand, without judgment, reservation or refusal.” In essence, every sophisticated woman must willing to engage their imagination to see a future along with its demands.

As Stephen Covey conducted seminars over the past three decades, he opened up with the question, “How many of you are being asked to do more with less?” In a frenzied fashion the audience would shoot their arms into the air to declare, “That’s me.” In the next breath, Covey would ask, “How many of you are at your full potential with no more capacity to grow, learn or contribute your talents?” And a hush would fall over the room. No one dared to declare that they had reached their maximum capacity. Hello! They were at a Stephen Covey seminar where you “Sharpen the Saw.” Then, in Covey’s trademark style he calmly requested, “Reconcile that for me.” Covey insisted that people look past the constraints of money and focus on how they could personally harness their time, energy and human resources to make things possible. If you are not personally tapped of your potential then you cannot be in a state of being asked to do more with less. The challenge is to do more with the more you have, namely your energy, time, and human resources.

You must envision how this can be done. Getting clear a vision is essential to your development.

Visioning is the number one technique for living a vibrant life.

It informs your decisions, your words, and your actions. You must get Lucia Capacchione’s book, Visioning. In this book she states: “Visioning is applied creativity.” There are 6 creative stages. These same principles are used by famous architects, renowned advertising firms, and celebrated engineers alike.

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pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

The Vision Technique Stage one is: Understand the Need. Choose a focus area, issue, opportunity or challenge to invest your personal resources. Do you need a vision for your Business/Career? Relationships? Home Environment? Health/Wellness? Financial Stability?

Ask yourself these powerful questions. What do I really want the outcome to be in this area? What is my ideal? The answer to this question must be charged with positivity and possibilities. The aim is to look at what could be, should be, and why it’s imperative.

Stage Two: Research the Need The next right step is to compile a collection of data, pictures, and ideas that support the outcome desired in Stage One. Look at icons, the arts, history, and other for inspiration. Create a vision board.

Every design firm creates mock-ups of their products so they can literally “see” what the future design is going to look like. Like an architect creates a rendering for a new structure, you must create a structure in a vision board that informs the imagination of what is to come.

Stage Three: Connect the Research to the Need The next right step is to create a connection between the original vision and the research. Write down the story your vision board tells.

Stage Four: Create Objectives that Support the Vision The next right step is to create objectives you will pursue to reach the vision. Objectives are principled measurements that support, drive and create accountability to move toward the vision. Create measurements of how you will move forward using the four resources of: money, time, energy, and your human capital a.k.a. your talents.

Stage Five: Create Memories the Future Now is the time to step back and look at the vision board and the objectives you’ve laid out. Now answer these questions: • • • •

Who is impacted by this vision?

What is my reward if the vision becomes a reality?

How is my community remarkably different?

What does the achievement of this vision teach those who are impacted?

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The Vision Technique is the quintessential tool for your selfdevelopment toolbox. With the plethora of issues, opportunities, and responsibilities that vie for your attention, it’s imperative that you pull away to a safe space to gain clarity, to see what is possible. The ancient adage warns us, “Without a vision, the people perish.”

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How To Find Time For

Exercise

Diet and exercise are essential components of a healthy lifestyle.

While even the busiest men and women can find ways to eat healthy, finding time to exercise can be more difficult.

According to the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition, regular physical activity can prevent chronic diseases like heart disease, cancer and stroke, which are the three leading causes of health-related death in the United States. In addition, men and women who are not physically active are at greater risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

Regular exercise helps people control their weight while promoting bone, muscle and joint health.

While the benefits of regular exercise are substantial, finding the time for daily exercise is not always so easy. The following are a handful of strategies men and women can employ as they attempt to make more time in their days to exercise.

• Reexamine your free time. Few adults, and especially those juggling families and careers, have an abundance of free time. But reexamining the ways you are spending your free time may help you uncover some moments for daily exercise. The Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition notes that adults between the ages of 18 and 64 need at least two and a half hours each week of moderate-intensity aerobic activity. While that may seem like a lot, it’s only slightly more than 20 minutes per day. It helps to supplement such aerobic activity with some strength-training activities at least two days per week. Try waking up 20 to 30 minutes earlier each day, using that time to hit the treadmill or jog around the neighborhood. You likely won’t be affected by waking up earlier, and you won’t need to alter your existing schedule for the rest of the day, either. If mornings aren’t your thing, make better use of your lunch hour, going for a jog or visiting your company’s exercise facilities if that option is available to you.

• Work while you exercise. Technology has made it easier than ever before to stay connected to the office even when you are nowhere near

pg 12 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

your desk. Men and women who can’t seem to find time to exercise often cite the demands of their job as the primary reason behind their inactivity, but those same individuals can use the technology at their disposal, be it smartphones that allow them keep track of work emails or tablets that make it possible to connect remotely to office servers, to work while they exercise. Bring your smartphone or tablet with you when you work out on the elliptical or jog on the treadmill.

• Reduce your sedentary time. A 2008 study from Australian researchers found that people who regularly break up their sedentary time, including the hours they sit behind their desk at the office, with movement had healthier waist circumferences, body mass indexes and triglycerides than those who did not. While hourly breaks to walk around the office might not seem like exercise, such breaks can benefit your long-term health.

• Get creative. Many people associate daily exercise with private gyms, and while gyms can serve as excellent motivators and great places to get full-body workouts, time involved in driving to and from the gym can make it difficult to commit to gym memberships. But you don’t need a gym membership to live a healthy lifestyle. When possible, take the stairs instead of an elevator and park further away from your office door so you get a small cardiovascular workout on your way into and out of the office. Rather than retiring to the couch after dinner, walk or bike around your neighborhood. Such simple gestures may seem insignificant, but the more creative ways you find to exercise each day, the more beneficial such efforts become.

While there is no way to create more time in the day, men and women can employ several strategies to make more time for daily exercise.

Taking the dog for a walk rather than spending time on the couch is one creative way to find more time for exercise.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

The Power of Quiet

by Gwen Smith

Today’s Truth

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul (Psalm 23:1-3a, NIV).

Friend to Friend

There are times when laundry takes over my house. Piles build up, though I try to stay on top of them. Many of the clothes are clean and even folded, but not put away. That tricky put-away-part is always hard for me.

Then there are the socks. Oh, the socks! They burden me so and cause me to wonder. Does an unseen sock nation exist? Are sock-soldiers are on a secret mission to destroy my testimony and drive me crazy? Divide and conquer. That’s what they do! Why can’t socks just behave? Why can’t they ever stay in pairs, and where am I supposed to put the socks that remain unmatched? Sigh.

Unmatched socks and folded-but-not-put-away-laundry tie me up in knots. Sometimes days go by before I make the time to put them away.

Is it just me?

I’ve come to realize that my days can be a lot like my laundry situation.

At times they get piled up with busy. Sabbath gets squeezed out. Now, when I say Sabbath, I mean the priority of sitting before the Lord just to sit with Him… quietly… expectantly… to listen... to be restored.

Though I do include God in my days and breathe prayers throughout, when I don’t sit before the Lord and exercise the spiritual discipline of being quiet before God it seems that both old and new burdens can tie my heart into a big frazzled knot.

It had been one of those weeks. Knots. Knots. Knots.

Then I finally remembered the power of quiet. I remembered My Restorer.

As I sat in the cool still of the morning with a hot mug of coffee in my hand and the warming presence of God in my soul, the burdens of my heart began to drift away. Direction came. Joy resounded. Mercy rained.

Peace… deep peace fell.

The Spirit of God transformed my soul, my thoughts, my goals, and my day. It was as if I had slumbered half the week away. This is where they go. This is where my burdens belong. The old ones that I’ve written about time and time again in my prayer journal and the new ones that are just beginning to unravel from my heart. This is where they go! I just needed to put my continuous stream of life-burdens away like the unending piles of laundry. THEN: order, soul order… peace, compelling peace… joy, divine joy and restoration… it all came.

I sat in wonder.

Still.

In His presence.

Convicted of my failure to remember the power of being quiet before the Lord. Of course this is where they go. I knew that. I knew that. Lord, forgive me. Oh, how I’m thankful for your daily mercy showers. I was met in my mess by the Lord my Restorer.

Each of us is invited to experience God as our Restorer. To know the renewal we long for each day. Jesus invited us personally when he said,

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

When our lives get too busy – when the laundry piles up in our homes and the burdens pile up in our hearts – we often forget the power of quiet.

The power of being still before God. The power of listening, expecting, soul-pouring … receiving rest from our Restorer. His presence sorts souls and never leaves an unmatched burden.

His presence never leaves an un-lifted burden.

How great is our God? Take some time to power-down and be still before Him right now.

Remember the power of quiet as you accept the renewal invitation of Jesus and exchange your burdens and knots for His peace and restoration.

Let’s Pray

Dear Lord, Your mercy is fresh each day, and Your grace piles higher than all my laundry and all my heart-woes. Thank You, Lord! I’m here.

Please align my heart to Yours. Quiet me with Your love, direction, and peace today. In Jesus’s Name I pray, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

When is the last time you sat and were still before God – with no music playing, no TV on, etc.?

When we spend purposed time with the Lord, beautiful things happen. Look up Zephaniah 3:17 and fill in the blanks below: “The LORD your God is _______ _________, he is mighty to save.

He will take ___________ ______________in you, he will _____________ you with his ______________, he will _____________ over you with ________________.”

More from the Girlfriends

Are you up for a personal GiG challenge? I challenge you to add a ten-minute “Sabbath” to your day for the next week. (I recommend you do it as soon as you wake up, but that’s your call.) Simply sit before the Lord and let Him know you are there. You might want to start your time by reading a psalm and responding in prayer. Then be still. Just ten minutes a day for a week. Ready for the challenge? Let me know on Twitter @GwenSmithMusic or on my blog or Facebook wall. Simply post, “I’m in for the Sabbath Challenge!”

Today’s GiG devotion is adapted from Knowing God by Name by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland by permission of Multnomah, division of Random House, Inc. To order the book, go to Amazon, your favorite Christian bookstore, or Gwen’s web store.

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To the Men and Women who have served and who are currently serving in the military of our great nation… thank you for your commitment and bravery, and the sacrifices you have made for its citizens.

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126th Annual

Soldiers Reunion Mark your calendar and set aside a week for cruisin’, musical entertainment, beauty pageants, a parade and athletic events when the 126th Soldiers Reunion returns to Downtown Newton.

Reunion Week kicks off Sunday, August 16. Events continue through Reunion Day on Thursday, August 20. The showcase Soldiers Reunion Parade will take place on Thursday. About 10,000 people visit Downtown Newton throughout the week to take part in the festivities. American Legion Post 16 and the Newton Merchants Association sponsor and organize the weeklong celebration.

The Soldiers Reunion celebration in Newton is believed to be the longest-running patriotic celebration in the United States not based on a holiday. The tradition began in Newton on July 4, 1889, when Civil War veterans answered a statewide call for recognition of their wartime efforts and to receive their pensions.

The gathering in Newton led to annual reunions, starting the popular patriotic Soldiers Reunion. Today, the celebration offers a variety of family-friendly activities and events for veterans and the community to enjoy, many of which are centered around the iconic 1924 Courthouse Square.

The week kicks off with the Cruisin’ Car Show on Sunday, August 16. Vintage cars and trucks from across the decades up to 1972 will be on display beginning at 2:30 p.m. The classic vehicles will cruise the city’s streets starting at 6:30 p.m.

Concerts entertain the crowds on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday beginning at 7:30 p.m. on the Courthouse Square.

Gospel music fills the air August 17, beach music gets everybody moving on August 18, and plans are in motion for a country music concert on August 19.

The annual Baby Parade takes place Wednesday, August 19, on the east side of the Courthouse Square. Children are judged based

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

on their patriotic outfits. Winners are selected in various age categories.

The week peaks on Thursday, known as Reunion Day. The day begins around 9 a.m. as artists, craftsmen, local businesses and food vendors set up around the Courthouse Square. GMC Jazz will play a jazz concert from 11:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. The American Legion hosts a mid-day fish fry at its headquarters for veterans. At 4 p.m., the Reunion Service begins on the west side of the Courthouse Square. The beauty pageant winners are introduced, and a guest speaker delivers a keynote address.

The Soldiers Reunion Parade immediately follows the Reunion Service, and the keynote speaker typically serves as the grand marshal, leading the parade on a one-mile route through Downtown Newton. The parade attracts 8,000-10,000 visitors due to the numerous entries and floats, all of which must have a patriotic theme.

Businesses and groups are charged $380 to enter a float in the parade. Local businesses that decorate a vehicle to advertise their company will be charged $50. Any church, school or other nonprofit organization may participate in the parade at no cost.

For information on entering a float in the parade or for information on becoming a vendor during Reunion Week, contact Wayne Dellinger or Eric Dellinger at 828-464-3906 or 828-464-1500.

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SUMMER ‘MATERS’

by Jan McCanless

I love to start up conversations with strangers, you’d be surprised how much in common you can find with others, and, make new friends along the way. You want to start a conversation -mention home grown tomatoes, and instantly, you’ll have people talking, oftentimes at once!

One of the things I love most about summer is the food. Fresh fruit and produce, just can’t be beat, and with so many farms around the area, and farmers markets, produce stands, etc. the selection is outstanding. In cold weather, we enjoy our roasts, and baked items, but, come summer, I want salads, watermelon, fruit, all things cool and fresh, and one of the best things of summer is the tomato sandwich. Now, there is a knack to this delicacy for sure. For one thing, it’s got to be made on white bread, no other kind, slap on some mayonnaise, my brand of choice is Dukes, and then, slice a big, red, juicy tomato, and place it in the middle of the bread, put the two sides together, and man oh man, that is good eating !!!

It helps if you have a lot of mayonnaise, and the tomato is really juicy. It just doesn’t get any better than this !!!!

The other day, at the ‘y’, a friend of mine was telling me that she didn’t have any idea what to fix for supper the night before, so, she made tomato sandwiches, stewed up some corn on the cob, fresh fruit, and apple cake. Made my mouth water just thinking about it !! Now, the spouse, he tells me that he ate a tomato sandwich every day for lunch as long as he was in school. Reckon it stopped when he hit high school, but, now he claims, he can take them or leave them, when it comes to tomato sandwiches. I did not enjoy that delicacy as a child, so, I have some catching up to do.

Several years ago, I was writing a ‘man in the street’ sort of thing for a newspaper, and decided I would ask passersbys about tomato sandwiches.

It was, after all, summer, and the crop that year looked especially good, so, out onto the corner I went. Things were going well until I stopped one gentleman, obviously a farmer, and asked him about tomatoes, did he eat them in sandwiches? He scratched his head momentarily, and said he’d rather talk about oatmeal. I’m game for anything, and said,” sure, what do you like in your oatmeal”? “Beans and corn”, he declared. To

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

say I was taken aback somewhat was an understatement, as I stared wide eyed at the man, I couldn’t believe I heard him right. “Beans and corn?

In your oatmeal?”

“Sure,” he said, “what d’you eat in it?” “Sugar and cream”, I managed to mutter. Lots of folks put brown sugar and cinnamon on it, but, I stick with the sugar and cream. Just as he was about to walk away, I grabbed him and asked him if he would mind telling me about the tomatoes he eats. “Never touch em’, “ he told me. Well, so much for my roving reporter days.

During post World War II time, back in the late 40’s, everybody had a victory garden, as a kid, I attempted one during that time, hoping I could produce enough to feed myself, brother and parents, and taking great pride in what I was hoping to accomplish I set out to hoe, rake, and plant. I mean, I was just a little kid, but, I put a lot of love and effort into that garden, it was a neighborhood thing, and each of us had a little plot to call our own. Even told my mom that I would work it and do all the gardening, she was simply to stand by with the basket to collect the produce. Funny thing is, it didn’t yield anything but dusty ground and dead plants., seems someone forgot to tell me you had to water them.

Remember, I was just a little kid, 5 or 6 years old, and while I enjoyed working the garden, it yielded nothing. I was so embarrassed. Fortunately for our family, we had real gardeners in the family who managed to provide us with all the wonderful summer goods we could eat, and the tomatoes, oh they were glorious ! Mama made the best bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches around, and I was usually able to convince her to fry up a couple extra pieces of bacon for me when she did.

Sometimes, today, I will put a slice of cheese on my sandwich, Swiss seems to work really well, and interacts deliciously with the tomato.

Anyway, back to my theory, that if you want to start a conversation, just mention summer ‘maters’ to someone you know and see what happens.

My only question now is, when fall gets here, what will we talk about that will get people as fired up ? I can’t see anyone getting excited over pumpkins, but, who knows, maybe I’ll try it anyway !

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How Did You

Meet Part 3

I have always been intrigued by the stories told by brides of how they met their future husbands. So much so that now I keep a file. At first some of them sound similar, but there is always a surprise around the corner.

Kim and Matt met at summer camp. That sounds simple enough but there is so much more. Matt had been working as a camp counselor since he was in college and was also an Eagle Scout. And now that he was grown, married, divorced and had a son of his own, he used part of his vacation every year to work at the same camp. Since he was a “pro” of sorts as a counselor, he was often asked to show all the newbie counselors the ropes. So a day or two before the kids arrived, he always took them on the trails surrounding the camp to familiarize them with the area.

Kim, a doctor from the city and new to the area had heard about the camp and since she was separated from her husband, wanted her son to experience the setting, volunteered to offer her services during that time. At the first meeting of all the camp adults, she had met Matt was not at all impressed. She said he was a knowit-all and constantly tried to impress her with his vast knowledge of the outdoors. If fact, she said he was like a mosquito that just wouldn’t go away and she wanted to swat him.

Kim’s son had surprisingly ended up in Matt’s group and they left to go on a day hike. Things went well and all were exhausted when they returned that evening and went straight to bed. The next morning Matt asked one of the other counselors to take his group to breakfast as he wasn’t feeling well. Kim went to his cabin to see if he was OK and he said he was fine, just needed some rest. By that evening, Matt’s son was worried and asked Kim to come to the cabin. As she put it, “When I arrived I saw that the smartest counselor in the world had poison oak from his waist to his knees.” She treated him and by the next day he was able to resume his duties, even though he was very uncomfortable.

Camp finally ended and everyone went their separate ways.

Matt bought a house with a large amount of land and decided to clear part of it himself. He also decided to buy a dog for his son so he would have a companion when he visited. On one of those

pg 24 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

visits, Matt’s son woke up with a rash from head to toe. As they were driving to urgent care, he told his dad that he had not gone into the woods. He knew he wasn’t supposed to. He also told his dad that the dog was always running in and out of the woods when they were outside and of course, he was always hugging the dog.

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They arrived at urgent care, were taken to a room and in walked Kim. She said, “You have got to be kidding! I thought the smartest counselor in the world would know better.” Matt told her the story, apologized multiple times and yes, asked her out.

She told me she waited two years to accept his marriage proposal not because of his inflated (now deflated) ego, but just because she could. Her divorce also took a while. They got married at the camp, in a clearing away from the woods. And both of they are going to continue working there two weeks out of the year, she as the camp doctor, Matt as the camp cook. Oh, by the way, he owns several restaurants and is a renowned chef.

Here are some other unusual ways couples have met.

•

Ran over her dog on my way to work. The dog did survive.

•

Was putting a new roof on her house.

•

Drove her son’s school bus.

•

Ran off the road to dodge a dog; knocked down his mailbox.

•

Knocked down a drink display in the grocery store right after the merchandiser set it up.

•

Heckled when she tried her hand at karaoke.

•

And finally, was stopped by a trooper when she sped through a work zone.

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Now on to my adventure. I have two brand new grandchildren.

Well, not brand new but new to me. A boy named Luke who 2:51:48 PM is twelve years old and Keeley, an eight year old girl. Oh, and they are not flesh and blood grand kids because I adopted them as grand kids. They are our new pastor’s children. They do have grandparents but they do not live here and since I can never have too many, I unofficially added them to my family.

My official granddaughter and Keeley are best friends so that works too. Since I am all about adventures and making memories, I planned a fun outing. One of the things that make it a great adventure is not having a clue what you are doing…or at least they didn’t. For several days they did everything they could to find out what we were doing. They tried to pry it out of me, they begged, they guessed, they tried tricking me into telling them. They even resorted to offering to pay me to tell them. Pastor Jerry, I didn’t know you had that much money! Nothing worked.

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Were we going to Boone or were we going to Asheville? When they thought they figured out it was Asheville, I just told them I could get to Boone that way too.

I took them to a place that most people don’t know about. We went to Sliding Rock. All three of these kids love the water and I told them everything was colder in the mountains. About 10 miles out, I finally told them we were going to a natural swimming pool

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with a rock for a slide but it was going to be cold. It was also one of those days that it kept drizzling off and on but they said that didn’t matter since they would be getting wet anyway. I am still wondering why everyone wanted umbrellas when we got out of the car.

They may have said the weather didn’t matter and they may have said the water being cold didn’t matter, but if you can picture how a frozen ice sculpture looks; that is the vision you would get when Keeley first stuck her foot in the water. It did not matter that there were hundreds of people there having the time of their life, that was it for her.

Luke and Emily, souls willing to brave the elements for fun, waited tortuously in line for their turn to get to the top. Finally, they had arrived to the coveted spot. I don’t think by the looks on their faces that they thought they would slide so fast into the pool of water. Keeley and I were cheering them on. They thought it was great…or at least that is what they told us through purple lips.

It was quite amusing to hear all the things they were telling Keeley, trying to coach her to go with them, even resorting to the money trick. Now that I think about it, they offered her more than they did me. They even tried to shame her by pointing out this little bitty fellow, which could not get enough. They did get her to a certain point up the line with the money trick but she would turn to look at me for help and I just reminded her she did not

have to do anything she did not want to do, no matter what the blackmail was.

One of the times, I was going to video it to put on our church website but Emily, who is always taking selfies had the camera set to do that and I kept trying to get it to switch to regular picture taking views. “Wait guys….I am not ready”, I was yelling. They couldn’t hear me and down they came. Emily decided if Keeley wasn’t going to do it with her, she was done.

We did have fun. We did some exploring, went on a trial with a suspended bridge, climbed mud hills and picnicked along the side of the road. I packed ham, chicken, bread, chips, candy, strawberries, fruit gummies, mayo and drinks. All to find out they didn’t like chicken but wanted turkey. The worse horror…. they don’t like mayonnaise but wanted mustard. NOT EVEN DUKES MAYONNAISE!!! I told you they were not from these parts! One thing I got right was DIET SUN-DROPS for Luke and Keeley and water for Emily. Maybe I got the other wrong.

Maybe Luke and Keeley are really mine and Emily is adopted!

No matter, I am going to keep them all. So on to the next adventure, after my ankle heals! Keeley said maybe we could go back when it was warmer but decided she wanted to go somewhere else when I told her we were there when the water was at its warmest.

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Open Mind: Do you consider yourself an open-minded person?

Are you willing to explore and entertain different perspectives from friends, colleagues or loved ones? Especially when you are stuck in your thinking related to a particular situation or challenge, being open to how others think could be just what you need. Surprising, yet profound solutions may come from the most unexpected people in your life. Brainstorm with someone who you consider entirely different from you to see what I mean.

Open Heart: One of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves is to let go and move on, especially when it comes to relationship woes.

The idea of walking in another person’s shoes really should be about coming from another person’s heart. Sometimes misunderstandings occur amidst good intentions simply because suspicion causes a recipient of a comment or a gesture to assume there is an ulterior motive or an underlying hidden meaning or agenda. This is often based from past experiences with others that then get superimposed subconsciously into the present. By opening your heart, you may very well open the other person’s heart too. What if you determine that the deeds or actions of a person is in essence heartless? Then your open heart can still prevail by accepting the fact that while you cannot change the person or his or her actions, you can totally control your reaction and interaction in a way that is fulfilling to you, including releasing and ties if they are no longer serving and nurturing you.

Open Ears: Of all the things we tend to falter on the most, listening is by far one of the least mastered senses, in my opinion.

Whether it us listening to our inner voice or truly hearing what someone is trying to convey to o share with us, our minds are so easily occupied, engaged and disengaged from the many demands and distractions surrounding us that we miss so very much in the process. Take a moment to be still and hear the message that your body and inner voice are sending you. Take a moment when someone shares news with you to truly engage with them and learn more than you would have normally inquired. Take a moment to listen to the conversations that are occurring all around you as you pass through your day. Oftentimes, within these conversations are a hint towards a solution, the tipping point of an inspiration, or an epiphany that could transform your life.

Open Eyes: Too many people are either approaching their life with blinders on, only focusing on the immediacy of existing based on their day-to-day obligations, or looking at their life through a microscopic lens, picking it apart for all that it isn’t versus all that it is and could be. One of the best practices I have seen that truly transforms people in their lives is through opening their eyes to all that they have for which to be thankful. Take a moment to do this now, starting with what you take for granted the most. All of the sudden, you will begin to truly see. And once you open up your vision, your future will take on a new realm of possibility and probability.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” Part of doing your best and being at your best is in being open to all that surrounds you in your life and throughout your day for those little nuggets of “wow in the now” that make your future all that much brighter in the making.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 29

HELP! I’ve Been Robbed!

by Mary Felkins

A recent text from a friend was refreshing. It swept a warm summer breeze into my soul, and fortified shaky places.

Don’t let Satan steal your joy!

You see, she and I are fighting a similar war. We meet weekly in a place disguised as nothing more than a cozy parlor with burgundy window treatments, cushy sofa seating, warm colored walls. She brings her spiritual weapon, I bring mine. Together we fight on a battleground of prayer. Yes, a war room. Like military leaders, we reveal our current family status, determine how our troops are faring. Our prayers aim smart bombs at those whose minds have been deceived, whose hearts have become darkened, whose eyes are still shut.

Sometimes I’ve discovered that my own mind, heart, and eyes have been victimized. When I lamented over a family situation that appeared to be a losing battle she didn’t return with a pitiful ‘Sorry you’re going through this’, but rather a call to fight.

At some time before my joy had been stolen I must have lowered my weapon, maybe considered it unnecessary. Maybe became distracted by failure. Or success. Or became weary wielding that weapon so often. I don’t know. But my Enemy and his gnarly minions know. They’re always watching, prowling, seeking to kill, steal, and destroy. Think crouching black cat, tail strategically swaying, hoping to lure the unsuspecting birdie to sleep.

Sure, there are times when, wallet-watching or not, I experience sadness, grief, pain, sorrow. In fact scripture guarantees these unwelcome companions will tag along with me as a soldier in Christ’s army. I’ve experienced traumas in the past that have hindered my brain’s ability to experience joy. Some were minor, while others were ‘trip-to-counselor’s-chair’ worthy. Objective input was needed to help sort through reasons why returning to joystatus had become difficult. Maybe you can relate? But when I find my joy missing it’s a wake-up call to resume my post as watchman over my spirit, that holy of holy place where joy resides.

Think you or someone you know has been robbed of joy?

Before you put in a call to headquarters… ~Consider a couple of King David’s mighty men, Eleazar and Shammah. Because these dudes refused to leave the field of battle against the Philistines (II Samuel 23:9-12) the Lord brought about a great victory. ~If you haven’t got a fellow prayer warrior on your battlefield, stop at nothing until the Lord raises one up. ~Avoid over-pitying the sufferer and, instead, give them a call to action with a promise to battle with them. ~Be watchful, always alert. The Enemy won’t stop until he’s snatched a little something from your spiritual wallet.

I do so love the promise Jesus gave His disciples in John 16:22.

“Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” So while the Enemy is furious because he knows he hasn’t much time (Revelation 12:12b) I choose to rejoice that, well, he hasn’t much time! And in the end he’ll be forced to empty his own wallet of all that’s been stolen.

Without a call to HPD.

Don’t let Satan steal your joy!

I opened my spiritual wallet, found it empty. “Yep. That thief has robbed me again.” This time it was my joy he’d stolen, a joy that belongs to me. It’s a fruit of the Spirit, one of the sweetest benefits to having Christ as Savior take up residence in my heart.

To steal is to take another person’s property without permission or legal right. And with no intention of returning it. Once the Enemy has robbed me of my joy I won’t get a text promising, ‘JK! I’m returning the joy I stole from you.’ If only I could speed dial Hickory Police Department, file a complaint, get my joy back. But the response from comm center would likely be, “Lady, if you’d secured your belongings…” And they’d be right. I couldn’t even make the case that I’m a proud and faithful graduate of Citizen’s Police Academy and firmly believe joy theft justifies a call for special ops team.

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.

Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

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Recipes for ife

L

and nuts, mixing until well coated. Spread granola on a lightly greased cookie sheet. Bake on 400 degrees for 12 minutes, stirring one time. Cool and store in an airtight container.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing

Lord, You are my matchless Savior, Friend, and Lover of my soul. I confess I often take You for granted—please forgive me. Thank You for Your interest in my life and for faithfully walking with me through the ups and downs. Please fill my heart more and more with an undying, contagious love for You. In Your beautiful name, the name of Jesus, Amen.

by Emily Wickham

Food for the Soul Nothing quite compares to a good camping trip—or a bad one for that matter. Yet in order to generate pleasant thoughts, I’ll focus on the positive experiences. So … good camping trips: I’ve enjoyed many. Perhaps you’re surprised to learn I even like camping, but indeed I do. Time slows, life eases, and nature refreshes. Something about being outside in God’s breathtaking creation with family and friends rejuvenates me.

Food for the Body Homemade Granola

(Recipe by Jenny Morrison)

4 cups oatmeal (uncooked) Nuts & Seeds of your choosing Raisins/Craisins 1 stick butter ½ cup honey 1 tsp. vanilla or almond extract Melt the butter, honey, and extract together. Pour over the oatmeal

Of course, what would a camping trip be without foods we know and love? Fire roasted hot dogs, s’mores, and plain old lightly browned marshmallows top my list of favorites. All of these require a campfire to achieve their tasty status. On the other hand, some edibles are brought from home and eaten as is … like granola. A dear

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friend of mine puts together her version of this treat and brings it along to share on our trips. Not only are we grateful, it’s gotten to the point that camping with her and her family just wouldn’t seem right without her granola .

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Life is like that as well. As we travel through its ups and downs, what do we consider indispensable? What nourishes and strengthens us when we’re weak? Actually, not what … but Who? For me, CHRIST is the answer.

“There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18:24, NASB “The Lord stood with me, and strengthened me.” 2 Timothy 4:17 “He Himself has said, ‘I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.’” Hebrews 13:5 God has proven Himself faithful to me over and over again. No matter what comes my way, HE is there. Despite difficulties and disappointments, HE is there. I truly cannot imagine life without Him. While this has been my experience, I realize some of you feel differently. Perhaps you’ve undergone severe loss and wonder where God is during your sorrow. Or maybe you used to enjoy intimacy with God but that closeness has dissipated. Or, possibly you’ve been hurt so devastatingly by someone who professes to follow Christ that you don’t want anything to do with the Lord he/she claims.

How can I adequately speak into your circumstances, my friend?

Honestly, I can’t. Yet God’s Word is truth, and I encourage you to seek Him on its pages. Christ is there. Try reading the Gospels, which provide a vivid and inspiring account of Who Jesus was when He walked this earth … and Who He still is today. While I can’t offer a specific answer to your situation, I can promise you God always keeps His Word. He declares in Jeremiah 29:13, “You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.” God will respond to your genuine pursuit of Him. I also invite you to talk to the Lord in prayer. Please don’t be intimidated—He longs to hear from those who desperately need Him. He’s a good God. Faithful. Generous and compassionate. Your words don’t have to be eloquent and flowing, just truthful.

I’m glad to share recipes with you from month to month. But more than that, I’m honored to share Christ. HE is my everything, and I pray He’s irreplaceable to you, too.

Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

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Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

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Your Home Is Your

Castle

by Susan Guest, ASID

H

ave you ever analyzed your lifestyle? Is there a recurring theme that runs throughout your home, fashion, and day to day activities? Some of my clients apparently long for the ocean and a calm paradise because they crave blue colors and beach themes. Others customers like the rich luxurious Paris feel to their home and they dress accordingly. Most of us are in between and have different personalities on any given day.

Look at clues from your wardrobe or home. You can have a subtle theme in your home or business. This portrays the image you wish others to have of you or the lifestyle you desire. For example, you might want the image of a posh home in a gated community with a well-manicured lawn. The interior of that home might feature beautiful priceless antiques, valuable oil paintings, and fine rugs.

Another theme might be a rustic mountain home with Swiss-style window boxes and stone and wood exterior. The interior would feature warm , cozy colors and textures. Celtic wool plaid for window treatments might mix with locally -made log furniture. To complete the room, large leather sofas with nail heads would give a “big lodge” look when mixed with plush rugs with tribal motifs.

Many years ago, a client gave me her color chart from “Color Me Beautiful”. She wanted to look as nice in her home as in the fashions that she wore. She wanted to be surrounded by items that made her look, and thus function, her best. This was part of her design statement.

Another client wanted an up-scaled “bohemian” look with an interesting red, purple, gold, and lime green color scheme. These colors were combined with folk art and sheer fabric room dividers. The look was eclectic –meaning a mix of many different styles. Furniture, rugs, and accessories from all over the world gave the area a “gypsy style”.

Do you desire your home or office to have a theme that portrays your story-including who you are, who you want to be, your lifestyle, or who you want others to think you are? Here are some ideas to help you find your personal design statement: 1.

2.

Magazines- keep a file with photos of rooms and ideas that interest you from your favorite magazines. Make notes on the things in a room that appeal to you. If you really are passionate about this, you might make separate files of kitchens, bedrooms, baths, living rooms, and outdoor spaces. This will help you later when you are ready to work with a design professional or own your own.

Possessions-look at things you love that you already own and determine if there is a common theme. Both your wardrobe and

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

3.

4.

5.

6.

furnishings might already find inspiration from the sea or nature.

You might consistently have a “big city” look with blacks, grays, and graphic patterns.

Travel- Collect art and home furnishings when you travel to your favorite vacation spots. These might inspire you to find a common theme in your décor. Depending on the stress of your profession, you might need a vacation feel when you come home from work!

Pinterest- Many of us have lots of fun creating and sharing ideas of food, fashion, quotes, DIY craft projects, and home ideas on Pinterest.

Look at your boards in the fashion and interior furnishings areas. They may show a consistent style that connects everything that you love. Use this common thread to find a style for your personal home or office. If you are not on Pinterest, it is very fun but can be addictive. Set the timer and keep your habit under control!

Colors-make note of colors that you love-whether bold or pale. If you like bright colors but are afraid to use them in a room; use them in small amounts as accents. Paint one wall in a fun color and keep the other walls subdued. Use bright colored pillows with bold patterns on a neutral sofa. If you are not intimidated by color, go for it!

Friends-ask a close friend what he or she thinks your design theme might be. They are often objective and see something in your personal style that you might miss.

The advantage of a home or office with a theme is that it is easier to have a unified design. When you are beginning your design project, you will most likely save time and money if you have an idea of where you are going and what your personal theme might be. Have fun and enjoy the process of learning more about yourself! In this case, your home is your castle!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

Thrive

Health To

Dana C. Killian, MBA Health Coach

The Importance of Hydration

There is no doubt that summer is here and that the heat is not letting up!

It is always important to stay hydrated but it’s even more important to do so when the temperature rises. One of the best ways to keep your body functioning properly and your mind sharp is to stay hydrated.

Why is water so important? Water makes up more than half of your body weight and every cell, organ and tissue in your body needs water to function correctly. When the body becomes even slightly dehydrated it starts to affect your performance. For instance the brain is 70-75% water; therefore, if you are dehydrated you may notice that you have difficulty concentrating because it becomes more difficult for the brain to send signals to the body. In addition, water is necessary to deliver nutrients to your cells and to also carry waste away from your cells. The kidneys need water to eliminate toxins and waste from the body. Also, water helps to cool the body, lubricate the joints, soothe the skin and prevent constipation.

PRE-PLAN TODAY

So how do keep ourselves hydrated and running optimally?

•

•

•

• •

•

• • •

Start each day with a cup of room temperature water with the juice of ½ a lemon. Drink this before you eat or drink anything else. The body can become dehydrated overnight so starting the day with water is essential.

Avoid foods and drinks that are dehydrating. They include caffeinated beverages such as soft drinks, coffee, tea; high sodium foods such as popcorn, soy sauce, packaged products, fried foods and sandwich meats.

Carry a water bottle with you throughout the day. Add lemon or lime to your water to add flavor. A stainless steel bottle is ideal to be sure you aren’t being exposed to BPA that are in some plastic bottles.

Avoid alcohol, especially when temperatures are high. Alcohol dehydrates the body and can impair your ability to recognize the signs of dehydration.

Eat lots of foods that have high water content such as soups, fruits and vegetables. Watermelon is an excellent choice for hydrating because it is over 90% water and is also high in cancer fighting lycopene. Cucumbers and tomatoes are also high in water content.

Drink smoothies. Smoothies are a great way to start the day with a hydrating, nutrient dense boost. Mix up fruits and veggies or look for a high quality plant based protein powder to add for additional boost. I choose Juice Plus® Complete powder each morning for breakfast. See recipe below.

Drink a glass of room temperature water before each meal to help curb the appetite and keep from overeating.

Whenever you are outdoors in the summer wear light colored, loose fitting clothes and seek shade whenever possible.

It’s also important to note that we should drink before we feel

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thirsty, because at that point your body is already experiencing some dehydration. Children and the elderly are particularly prone to dehydration so remind them to drink up! Stay hydrated this summer and enjoy!

Signs of Dehydration • • • • • •

Dark urine Headache Confusion Dizzy or lightheaded Fatigue Thirst

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&

Day In Day Out...

Is It Time To Repair or Rebuild The Foundation Of Your Home?

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

O

ur oldest son constantly carried little Lego pieces in his fists when he was little. Every time he received a new kit, he would immediately disappear to find a quiet place where he could construct it without any interruptions. And when he was finally done, he would proudly reappear to reveal what he had built. For days, the new creation became the center of his playtime. Over time, however, these little structures eventually came undone. When this happened, he was faced with a tough decision. He could just leave it as it was, destroy it and make something else or find the instruction manual to completely rebuild it. Our son rarely chose the last option. The mere suggestion of starting over led to tear-filled eyes and a protruding lip. Instead, he almost always decided to make the best of his crumbling creation or destroy it altogether and move on.

Starting over can be tough because it often feels like you’re making no progress. In my work with families who are hurting, however, starting over is often the most sensible thing to do. Like broken Lego structures, sometimes a parent must be willing to deal with a rupture by repairing the foundation of their home. While this requires a bit of time and energy, when families do this they often grow closer while being better equipped to face the next challenge that arises.

With the start of school around the corner, there is no time like the present to rebuild the central structure of your home. This can be done by assessing personal habits and implementing practices so that home has a more steady rhythm. Although these actions can’t necessarily change the heart of an individual, they can help our kids feel safer and thereby more open to change. Not only that, you will most likely spend less energy addressing daily disruptions. Start by incorporating a few of the following actions that are central to a strong framework.

pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

Commune – Above all, spend regular time with God so that His love, grace and mercy will flow out of you. Only He can empower you to love others like He loves you. Cry out to Him knowing that He hears every word and feels your pain. (Psalm 34:15) If you are married, make time for each other. We need to support one another as we daily enter the trenches of life. Lastly, surround yourself with people who remind you that even though parenting can indeed be hard, it is also an incredible gift as well.

Construct – Help your kids understand and respect the authority structure of your home. You are in charge, my friend. (Ephesians 6:1-2) While this truth is not to be used to abuse or shame, kids feel safe when their parents choose to exercise their God given role. Conduct family meetings to create a place where griefs are addressed and growth is applauded. This can also be a time to discuss weekly schedules, chore charts and any other expectations as well as consequences. Habits like these minimize miscommunications and maximize community.

Connect - Look at your kids with delight in your eyes. (Psalm 127:3) Smile more. Play games, plan family activities, and do life together.

Laughter and joy are huge stress reducers and great connectors. Family projects or missions can also create deep connections within a family.

Lastly, hug your children frequently. Warmth and affection in a family are contagious.

Converse – In a culture that spends more time interacting with screens than humans, talk to your kids. Many kids think parents only want to talk when something is wrong. Ask open ended questions about topics that are serious or just plain silly. Talk about the present, the past and the future and dream out loud with your kids. (Ephesians 4:29) Believe it or not, sometimes they forget that we have a story that is full of pain, pleasure, dreams and desire. And, because some kids will only talk when you least expect it, be ready to listen well and encourage when you least expect them to talk to you.

Correct - When the other four practices are in place, the need to correct almost always decreases. Nevertheless, clearly communicate consequences before boundaries are crossed and be consistent in following through. (Proverbs 22:6) Their respect for you will significantly increase. Minimize lectures and refrain from withholding affection or holding grudges. Instead, let the consequence provide the “pain” while you continue to love well.

While none of these practices offer a quick fix, if you stick with it, over time you will surely begin to see the fruit of your labor. God is so faithful to use our willingness to start over to help us create a home where our kids experience His presence flowing in and through us on a daily basis.

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

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pg 42 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

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How to Make a Yummy Lemon Cheesecake that is Diabetic Friendly

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Receiving a diagnosis of diabetes usually means a change in lifestyle and diet. If you are like me--I have a terrible sweet tooth!--I had this mental image of all things sweet and good disappearing from my diet.

Imagine my surprise to discover this is not true. In fact, doctors and nutritionists recommend eating fresh fruit. And there are many ways to make delicious diabetic desserts. As with all foods, we diabetics have to watch our portions and even more so with sweets. Do not make this cheesecake and eat it all before bedtime! But incorporated into a healthy diet, you should be able to enjoy it. With its sugar-free ingredients and fresh fruits, it is healthy and tasty enough for anyone!

DIABETICS LEMON CHEESECAKE • 1 1/4 graham cracker crumbs* • 1/4 cup Splenda granular • 1/3 cup butter, melted • 1 pkg (3-oz) sugar-free lemon gelatin mix • 2/3 cup boiling water • 2 bars (8-oz each) light cream cheese • 6-oz. lite/firm silken tofu • grated rind of 1 lemon • juice of 1 lemon • 1 cup sugar-free frozen whipped topping, thawed • Fresh fruit of your choice, optional 1.

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In a blender container mix the lemon gelatin mix and the hot water; Tues -Fri 10-6, Sat 10-4 slowly add in the cream cheese and the tofu. Continue to mix until smooth. Pour the mixture into a large mixing bowl and add the lemon rind, lemon juice and the thawed topping. Pour into the Potted Red Geranium Ad July 2015.indd 1 prepared pan, smoothing the top. Chill for 4 hours or more. Before serving garnish with more whipped topping and fresh fruit/fruits of your choice, if desired. *If you cannot use crumbs made from graham crackers, make your crumbs from sugar-free butter cookies or sugar-free vanilla wafers.

Serves 12. Enjoy!

About the Author Linda Wilson A grandmother with diabetes along with other autoimmune diseases, I enjoying sharing my recipes and diabetic tips on my blog..You will find more of Linda’s yummy recipes at http://ladybugssweettreats.blogspot. com and at http://grandmasvintagerecipes.blogspot.com

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Don’t Be Afraid.

You Are Not Alone.

S

by Cyndi Caldwell

ince beginning my career as a Senior Advisor one of the most FAQ’s is, “How do I talk to Mom and Dad about the fact that they are aging?” It’s a challenge but truth be told we are all aging. Growing older begins the moment we let out our first cry gasping for air until the moment we take our last breath. It’s life.

In an effort to find the magic formula for facing mortality (our own and our parents), I scoured the internet. Surely someone had found the magic bullet for helping us communicate this chapter with Mom and Dad. I was shocked at how little information is available. Again the baby boomer children are blazing a new trail. Dealing with the challenges of aging parents is something we didn’t get to see our parent model because their parents passed earlier (60’s70’s and 80’s). Healthcare services, nutrition and exercise have increased life span for everyone. We’re seeing our own parents living into their late 80’s 90’s and even farther. Why in the world would they listen to us? Because they must. We are the responsible adults that must and will either assist in or ultimately make the decisions. So how do we begin?

“Listen to understand.” One of the most debilitating things I have seen while working with seniors and their families is the unwillingness of the adult children to accept the responsibilities of being an adult. It takes a strong loving child to make the best decisions for the parents they love.

In some cases this will conflict with Mom or Dad’s immediate wishes.

Stepping out of the role of “child” is challenging. Parents struggle with letting their child assist in making decisions. Truly understanding why your parent feels the way they do can go a long way toward coming to a consensus on next steps.

In the words of Steven Covey on his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Communication is the most important skill in life.” We speak or otherwise relay our message, take in what other people have to say, and formulate a response. Dr. Covey posits, however, that “most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

As Dr. Covey describes, sometimes we are so focused on getting our message across that we completely forget that the person we are attempting to communicate with is speaking from their own frame of reference.

“Start conversations early.” Discussing possible changes in health, financial situation and living arrangements will have better results if your

pg 44 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

family member is still able to manage well on their own and are not immediately confronted with the change. Fear is the biggest reason that our loved ones shut us out -fear of aging, fear of health concerns and fear of change. Talking it out before a significant life change or specific event can alleviate fear. This will give your parent a feeling of control and will assure that you know their true wishes.

“Seek the blessing and share it.” This journey of aging is challenging for both parent and child. Let your parent know that this is a time that you can “give back.” Parents will be much more accepting of your counsel and care if they feel that they are not a burden but a blessing. Even if your relationship with Mom or Dad has been rocky this can be an experience that allows you to expand your compassion and grow your spirit.

“Ask for help.” No parent or child can be expected to travel this road alone so access all the resources available to assist you. Don’t hesitate to enlist the help of family, friends, church members, community services, your healthcare providers, and make sure you READ and get informed.

It was our strong independent parents who survived a Great Depression, fought in a World War, saw man race to the moon, endured defiant children of the 60’s and70’s, and set the tone for a cultural and technological shift. They truly are the Greatest Generation! Many logistical things are involved with caring for our aging parents – finances, living arrangements, healthcare concerns, even end of life arrangements. We can honor our parents in this chapter of their lives by choosing to communicate.

It’s a simple message we seek to share with our loved ones.

“Do not be afraid, you are not alone, I am here.”

Cyndi C. Caldwell Certified Senior Advisor* Senior Sounding Board Consulting EMAIL: cloucaldwell@gmail.com BLOG: www.seniorsoundingboard.com

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Submitted by Joyce Hobbs Photography Submitted by Julie Turner

pg 46 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | August 2015

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