Sophie Woman's Magazine - June 2015 Issue

VOLUME 11 - ISSUE 4 / JUNE 2015

INSIDE: Girlfriends In God ~ Who Put That Gate There? | Page 14 Sophisticated Women ~ Do You Know What Your Strengths Are? | Page 8 Me, Myself, & Inc. ~ Is It An Excuse Or A Reason? | Page 28

INSPIRATION ~ EDUCATION ~ MOTIVATION

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Heart from the

In Budapest, a man goes to the pastor and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room.

What can I do?”

The pastor answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.”

The man is incredulous, but the pastor insists. “Do as I say and come back in a week.”

A week later the man comes back looking more distraught than before. “We cannot stand it,” he tells the pastor. “The goat is filthy.”

The pastor then tells him, “Go home and let the goat out.

And come back in a week.”

A radiant man returns to the pastor a week later, exclaiming, “Life is beautiful. We enjoy every minute of it now that there’s no goat-- only the nine of us.

There is something that I want to share with you that possibly, no one has ever shared with you before and it is life changing. Fathers aren’t perfect.

If, by chance, you have a dad that tells you he loves you, don’t take that for granted and make sure you tell him back.

If your dad is one that does not tell you, maybe you could tear this page out and put it in his father’s day card. If your dad did not do that and is no longer with you, know that you have a Father that loves you more than any earthly father could ever understand.

When we think our fathers are perfect, we set ourselves up for great disappointment. My father was far from it; in fact, he failed pretty miserably. So if yours is doing a pretty good job you need to thank God for him. Even if he is not, you need to except that you were in the family you were supposed to be.

Here is another thing. Like I said, Dad’s aren’t perfect and they might even make the same mistakes over and over.

Have they ever said they are sorry? Have you forgiven them? Do you know how blessed you are to have a dad that will say “I am sorry”?

That was an incredibly hard lesson for me and one that took me a long, long time to realize. In fact, I used to ask God why He put me in this particular family. Why did He not put me in that family or that one over there?

I was talking to one of my uncles the other week and we were talking about my dad. I asked him if he knew why my father didn’t love me. He told me that my father loved me very much….he just did not know how to show it. If your father shows that love to you, soak it up. If he doesn’t, maybe you could help him out a little.

From The Editor: Judy Smith

When I would be at friends’ homes and see how they interacted, I was so jealous. Their fathers would even tell them they loved them. How I longed for just those three little words. My dad died and that never happened.

Now when I tell you how much I miss my dad, even with all his faults, you might think I am a little off my rocker. There is no chance now that I would ever hear those words and, you know what, I still long to hear those words… even if it is just in my dreams.

Fathers have an awesome job. Fathers have a hard job, especially if they don’t realize how blessed they are. Some days are better than others. For example, think about this story.

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Message from the Heart Reaching Your Full Potential Sophisticated Women

3 6 8

Finding Extraordinary In Everyday Life

12

Girlfriends in God

14

Health to Thrive

18

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

22

Much Ado About Nothing

24

The Front Porch

26

Me, Myself, & Inc.

28

I Missed You!

30

Recipes for Life

32

Do You Have Committment Issues?

36

Day In & Day Out

40

Who’s Flying That Plane?

42

Universal Design: Get On Board

44

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REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL: Take That FIRST Step!

by Kim Fletcher, Life Coach, Speaker, Author

“When the Japanese mend broken objects (such as a piece of pottery), they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” Billie Mobayed

A

Submitted by Joyce Hobbs Photography Submitted by Scott Hansley

s a Life and Business Coach, I am often frustrated when clients get stuck and cannot seem to move forward.

For many such individuals, I often note two things in common. They are afraid to take the first steps toward change, and the mental block that keeps them from moving is often pain from a past perceived failure.

Perhaps these observations are why I appreciated a recent article by Success Coach Philip Humbert. In his article, he simply challenged his readers to take simple actions now toward their goals. Here are a few of his thoughts: “There are lots of reasons people get frustrated or struggle in life, but one of the most common is that some people never get started!

Some people have big dreams but never take the first steps to make them come true. No wonder they are frustrated and say they have “failed” to reach their goals!

The truth is that there is almost no real failure in life. One of Newton’s laws says that for every action there is an effect. Tony Robbins is famous for his observation that high achievers take massive action, observe their results, adjust accordingly, and take more action. There is tremendous power in a persistent determination to take action.

There is a famous phrase in the Bible that the “Truth shall set you free” and a key truth is that to achieve any goal, no matter what it is, some action – some effort, some work, some activity, some physical exertion is required and the activity must come FIRST! To achieve your goals, action is required!”

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.”

What goal or life change is compelling you forward today? Take a few moments to step away from the busy aspects of your day, get quiet and ask yourself a couple of key questions:

pg 6 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | May June 2015

◊ What would I love to achieve over the summer months? ◊ Does this goal move me toward my greater life vision and support my deepest values? ◊ What is the most obvious challenge standing in my way? ◊ What is the least obvious challenge standing in my way? ◊ What simple daily action could I begin taking today that would ensure my success? ◊ Who can I invite to be my accountability coach for this season of success?

The quote that led off this article was given to you for a reason.

Many of you stopped dreaming big because life dealt you a hard blow to your confidence in the form of perceived failures and hurts.

Those wounds have kept you bound. One way to assess yourself for unhealed wounds with the power to hold you back is to observe your thought and speech patterns. Do you often find yourself thinking or speaking out of pain, negativity or death? If so, you might say or think things such as, “There is no point in even trying again.” “Success is for everyone else, but not me.” “Why do great things happen to my friends, while life passes me by?”

Picture the person or event that wounded you. Now picture your Creator, God, picking up the broken pieces of your heart and your life and gently collecting them, reconfiguring them and securing them into place with pure gold.

If you are a person who has experienced more pain, that shouldn’t

disqualify you. That simply means that your life is full of more gold to reflect the beauty of life.

I am surrounded by people with lots of gold. My own parents reunited after six years of separation and have a better relationship than ever. One of my best friends is an international speaker and minister who lives life as a quadriplegic. She had to forgive the drunk driver. Another dear friend is the survivor of domestic violence.

She had to release her step-father. One of my clients overcame homelessness. Another client had to overcome procrastination.

No matter what your blocks may be, your destiny is greater. I hope this article will inspire you to dust off an old dream, polish it a bit in search of the gold and allow you to get started today taking small, consistent steps toward your next level of peace, joy and fulfillment. Repeat after me, “I AM GOING HIGHER!” I would love to hear your success stories and your challenges.

This article was inspired by Kim’s highly valued relationships. As a Life Coach of global impact, Kim and her team would love to share these principles of influential leadership and cultural transformation with your group or organization. Contact Kim today for a FREE proposal on a powerful coaching partnership. You may contact her team of coaches and speakers directly at: kimfletchercoach@aol.com / 828 327 6702.

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Sophisticated

Women...

Know Their Strengths

By Nicole Greer, PPCC Founder and Principle Coach at Vibrant Coaching

P

eople without confidence suffer more than people with confidence because they’re in a state of worry, anxiety, and dare I say it selfloathing. They ponder, Am I enough?

Am I worthy?

Do I have what it takes?

Look closely at these questions. Can they be answered?

Of course, they can. What is required is self-assessment.

When faced with an opportunity that calls into question your skills, talents and gifts leaving you less than confident, it’s time to turn the mirror inward taking stock of the following:

Submitted by Sweet South Photo & Design

Who are you?

Where have you been?

What do you know?

What are your skills?

What are your talents?

How are you gifted?

Turning the mirror inward seems uncomfortable to many of us. We’ve been taught from a very young age to not be selfish. We’re told that any kind of self appreciation is narcissistic. We’re warned, “Don’t be a navel gazer.” We’re supposed to be humble. We’re told we are here to serve.

While these are all very true, the bottom line is: We cannot serve others until we understand our capacity to serve.

And don’t miss this… when you understand your capacity to serve and BELIEVE the truth about yourself then you have confidence. This kind of confidence is fact based. Let me reiterate, your self assessment process confirms, validates, and gives you the ability to step into the right opportunities. There is nothing haughty about this. In fact, this is what I call taking creative responsibility for doing your best with your own life. Understanding your intrinsic value is essential! Once you take stock and acknowledge your capacity, then and only then can we begin to serve others effectively, efficiently, and most importantly excellently.

Confidence is not something you sit around and wait for. Confidence is something you decide you want. To become confident, you get a plan and take next right steps. Answer the questions above. Be honest. Be brave. And be exhaustive. Imagine your life is at stake for you to come up with a top 25 list of how you are talented, gifted and skilled. Why

pg 8 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

imagine that your life is at stake? Because, it is! You have only one life to live and you are the key stakeholder. Take responsibility. The world has need of you.

Let’s get started!

A Strategy for Gaining Self-Confidence Self-assessment can be challenging. It’s difficult to see your strengths, when you possess them. As you effortlessly use your strengths, you become indifferent to your unique contribution in the world. But, believe me. You have some serious strengths that warrant your attention and some fresh intention. To gain some fresh perspective on the ways in which you contribute in a powerful way, you simply need to ask a set of powerful questions.

The Coaching Assignment Send an email to ten people. These are people who know you. You may have worked on a team with them. Or more importantly these may be individuals who are invested in your future. Tell them you are working with a life coach. Me! Share that you’ve been given an assignment to determine your strengths.

Ask these questions: • What do you see are my strengths?

• What character traits do I most often demonstrate?

• What innate talents do I have?

• How do you see me as gifted?

• What could you see me doing with these strengths, traits, and talents in the future?

Once you have the responses, take stock. What kind of feedback have you received? What is the thread? What would happen if you strengthened your strengths? That is the question that will give us confidence! In the book, Discover Your Strengths Now, author Marcus Buckingham shares that he believes that we should not be spending our time trying to make our weaknesses stronger but instead, we should take our strengths to a whole new level. I agree.

Don’t let your anxiety about sending these emails get in the way of your responsibility to capitalize on your capacity. That would be the act that is selfish. Instead, find out how to show up powerfully in the world. Trust me. People always feel honored that you asked for their input. Lean in and learn. Then with confirmation and confidence, do the best you can with your own life.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you’ve been given and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing your creative best you can with your own life.

-Galatians 6:4 The Message At its deepest level, working with a coach frees you to identify your birthright gifts, discern your deepest passions, and fulfill your highest purpose. A coach can pry you off dead center. As Principal Coach for Vibrant Coaching and Workshop Leader for The Lydia Group, LLC, a collaboration of individuals focused on work, life and spiritual growth, Nicole is on a mission to impact, energize, and influence people to lead a Vibrant Life by engaging the possibilities. As a life and business coach and workshop leader, Nicole views her role as a conduit to release all that you want to achieve. www.thevibrantcoach.com/www. thelydiagroup.com

Learn More At Our Information Meeting At The Sherrills Ford Library on June 8 Starting at 6pm. fostercatawba.com 828-695-4553

Attend one of our meetings about foster and adoption opportunities in Catawba County.

Meetings are at 6 p.m. on the second Tuesday of each month at the Family Services Center, 3050 11th Ave. Dr. SE, Hickory, N.C. www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 9

Keep Kids Engaged Through Summer Vacation “Summer Slide” is a term parents may hear at the end of the school year. No, it doesn’t have anything to do with playground activities.

Rather, “summer slide” refers to knowledge gained during the school year that may be lost over the duration of summer break.

The National Summer Learning Association says many students lose about two months of grade-level equivalency in math computation skills over the summer. Students tend to score lower on standardized tests after summer vacation than they do when the same tests are taken at the onset of summer.

Minds left to sit idle can haunt children when it’s time to return to the classroom. But parents who engage kids throughout the summer and reinforce educationally sound activities can prevent summer slide.

pg 10 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

· Make vacations educational. Visit a locale kids have studied in class and explore its culture and traditions. · Offer plenty of reading materials. Reading can expand children’s minds and help them build and maintain their vocabulary. · Ask teachers for work packets. Students can stay on top of their studies by doing some light schoolwork throughout the summer. This can reinforce lessons kids have already learned and keep their minds sharp. · Purchase a journal. Encourage kids to write about their summer adventures in a journal. Chances are their teachers will ask about summer vacations and may require an essay when students return to school.

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Submitted by Heidi Houser Photography

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The following are instructions from the bible on how to deal with anger. I’m praying God will help me follow these guidelines whenever anger materializes. Care to join me?

Listen more than speak and try to understand other points of view.

• Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ~ James 1:19-20 (NIV) • Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heartof fools. ~ Ecclesiastes 7:9 (ESV) • Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. ~ Proverbs 29:20 (ESV) • If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame. ~ Proverbs 18:30 (ESV)

Think before speaking since foolishness or wisdom will be on full display.

• Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. ~ Proverbs 29:11 (NIV) • Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. ~ Proverbs 19:11 (ESV) • A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated. ~ Proverbs 14:17 (NIV) • Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quicktempered person stockpiles stupidity. ~ Proverbs 14:29 (MSG) Stay calm and answer gently.

• A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. ~ Proverbs 15:18 (NIV) • A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) • But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. ~ Matthew 12:36–37 (NKJV) • There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. ~ Proverbs 12:18 (ESV) Don’t take revenge and forgive quickly.

• Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. ~ Ephesians 4:26-27 (MSG) • Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. ~ Romans 12:19 (NIV) • Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:32 (ESV) • Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. ~ 1 Peter 3:9 (ESV) Treat others how you want to be treated, even when angry.

• Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31 (NIV) • Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 (NIV) • Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. ~Proverbs 17:9 (ESV) • If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother. ~ 1 John 4:20-21 (ESV)

The month of June marks the beginning of summer in areas of the Northern Hemisphere. June is a popular month for weddings and parties because of the mild temperatures and full-blooming foliage. Ancient Romans named June after Juno, the queen of the gods and patroness of marriage and weddings.

But June is about much more than weddings, marking the end of the school year for many students and Father’s Day for dads across the country. In addition, June has played host to numerous historical events.

• June 1, 1869: Thomas Edison obtains a patent for an electrographic voice recorder.

• June 6, 1944: “D-Day” occurs in Europe during World War II. • June 10, 1922: Judy Garland is born as Frances Gumm in Grand Rapids, Minn.

• June 14, 1777: The Stars & Stripes is adopted as the American flag.

• June 15, 1844: Charles Goodyear is granted a patent for vulcanized rubber.

• June 17, 1928: Amelia Earhart is the first woman to fly across the Atlantic Ocean when she flies from Newfoundland to Wales.

• June 19, 1903: Lou Gehrig is born in New York City.

• June 20, 1840: Samuel Morse is granted a patent for telegraphy signals.

• June 25, 1929: G.L. Pierce receives a patent for basketball.

Connie Davis Johnson is a Christian Women’s Speaker and Writer. She has a passion to help all women recognize just how extraordinary they are and how much each has to offer. Her goal in speaking and writing is to take each woman through a journey where they will laugh, cry, and feel full with some practical takeaways. Connie is also a Senior Director with Hearts at Home but her most important position is being wife to Craig of 24 years and mom to Calan, Cauriana, and Colby. You may find her blog online at ConnieDavisJohnson.com.

• June 27, 1967: Baltimore Orioles and NY Jets trademarks are registered.

• June 28, 1894: Labor Day is established as a federal holiday.

• June 30, 1936: “Gone With the Wind” is published.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 13

The Gates of God

by Mary Southerland

Today’s Truth

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it (Hebrews 12:9-11, NIV).

Friend to Friend

As a grandmother, I can testify to the importance of gates. I remember when our grandson Hudson first started walking. He was a champion crawler and he especially loved stairs. We just happened to live in a townhouse that had three flights of stairs, much to Hudson’s delight.

Oh, we bought him toys, but they were nothing more than momentary distractions from his favorite toy – the stairs.

When Hudson first learned to climb up the stairs, we bought a gate to keep him from falling down those same stairs. I wondered how he would react to his new confinement. It didn’t take long to find out. When our daughter dropped him off for a visit, Hudson played with the toys I kept for him downstairs in the living room. After a few minutes, his sparkling blue eyes caught mine, and I knew what was about to happen. Yep! He made a mad dash for the stairs. Halfway up, he looked back at me with a mischievous smile as if to ask, “Are you coming, Mimi?” Laughing, I scrambled up the stairs behind him. When we reached the landing, I quickly scooped him up in my arms, put the gate in place, and sat him on the floor to play. Hudson clapped his hands and laughed … until he saw the gate.

With a look of suspicion and doubt … definitely doubt … Hudson reached out to touch the wall that separated him from his beloved stairs. He glanced back at me and seemed to ask, “What have you done, Mimi?” I tried to play the gate up as a good thing that was for his safety and protection, but Hudson was not buying one word of my cheery explanation. His chubby little hands tentatively grasped the gate as he pulled himself to his feet for a closer inspection.

I watched as our precious grandson peered through the bars of the gate to the stairs below. He then turned to stare at me in disbelief and promptly burst into tears.

He was not done.

He pulled and pushed the gate with every ounce of toddler strength he could muster, wailing in anger and frustration as he tried to dislodge his prison wall. Hudson made it crystal clear that he is not a fan of gates.

I tend to react the same way to the gates God places in my life.

I have a plan – one that I think is right. I like my plan and don’t really see the need to bother God with the details of that plan. After all, my plan is logical and could even be described as good since it fits within the parameters of Scripture. It must be His will for my life, right? So I scramble through the steps of my plan until I run smack dab into a wall or, as Hudson would call it, a gate. My first reaction is suspicion and doubt – definitely doubt – and I quickly conclude that Satan must have placed the gate there.

pg 14 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

I try everything within my human strength to knock down the barrier to my beloved plan. The gate does not move. Frustration and anger fill my heart as I cry out to God, pleading for Him to remove the unwanted obstacle from my path. It is then that He takes me in His arms and gently explains, “Child, the gate is for your good. It is for your protection and safety.”

When will I understand that God’s plan for my life is higher and better than any plan I can possibly imagine? When will I learn to wholly trust Him? When will I realize just how much He loves me? When I look back over my life, I cannot count the number of times I first considered a closed door to be the work of Satan, only to discover it was really the hand of God protecting me or keeping me from making a terrible mistake.

How about you? Has God closed a door that you thought was the perfect opportunity? Has He placed a gate across the path that you thought was so right? Trust Him. Wait on Him. He is at work in your life.

Let’s Pray

Father, I come to You today, choosing to trust You. Thank You for the perfect and amazing plan You have for my life. Help me learn to trust You more. Teach me how to praise You for the doors You have closed - as well as the ones You have opened. Today, I rest in Your unfailing love for me and lean wholly on You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Now It’s Your Turn

Look back over your life. Pinpoint five “gates” God placed in your path that you now see are for your good. Record them in your journal.

Thank God for each one.

Read and memorize Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.” Record this verse in your journal. Circle all of the action words. Which ones of these actions do you need to take? I would love to hear how God increases your faith.

Email me or share your story on my Facebook page.

More from the Girlfriends

Need help finding God’s plan for your life? Check out Mary’s new E-Book Bible Study, It’s Never Too Late to Be Great. Join women across the world in Mary’s online Bible Study, How to Become a Powerful Woman.

Seeking God? Girlfriends in God P.O. Box 1311 Huntersville, NC 28070 info@girlfriendsingod.com www.girlfriendsingod.com

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Thrive

Health To

Dana C. Killian, MBA Health Coach

Summer and the Living Is Good!

School is out, the days are longer and the pace is slower, or so it’s supposed to be! I feel a since of relief when school and homework end but then I feel the pressure to keep my kids active, learning and healthy for the summer. I sat down recently to get a plan for keeping my kids engaged and fit this summer, below are a few things I am trying to incorporate into the plan.

Keep them Hydrated Our brains and muscles are 70-75% water. When we become dehydrated our brains can’t think or send messages to the body as effectively and our muscles tighten up and don’t respond as quickly.

Water is the ideal beverage choice for all of us. Water helps to curb the appetite and properly hydrates the body. Eliminate drinks with artificial colors and ingredients and all soft drinks. Make it a habit to pack a water bottle on your summer adventures. Add a slice of lemon or lime or a splash of 100% fruit juice to add variety.

Keep them Active It’s easy in the summer for kids to spend a lot more time staring at screens. Create a “screen time budget” and let your kids decide when they will use the time each day and then take the devices and encourage the kids to go outside to play.

Plan weekly trips to the YMCA to swim, to the park to play or go skating. Scheduling these trips in advance helps to ensure the family stays active.

Allow time for unstructured play outdoors as well.

Keep them Fueled It’s easy to resort to packaged and processed foods for the summer when convenience is so important. However, it’s worth the effort to make your own. Let your child pick out a lunch bag and containers for their lunch and ask them to help pick out and prepare healthy lunches.

Active kids need about 50% of their calories from carbohydrates. These need to be complex “right carbs” such as vegetables, whole grains and legumes. They also need healthy fats like from nuts and seeds and lean protein from eggs, fish and clean lean meats.

Prepare on the weekend so the week days run more smoothly. Slice up fruit and vegetables for the upcoming week so they are ready and on hand. Keep fruit and vegetable dips available as well.

Healthy lunch ideas: • Purchase sandwich meat that is hormone and nitrate free, AppleGate is a great brand, and cut into shapes with cookie cutter • Boiled eggs • Mozzarella cheese and 100% whole grain crackers • Whole wheat English muffin pizza- top with pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese and your favorite veggies • Carrot/celery sticks with ranch dip – made with Greek yogurt instead of sour cream • Nuts- make your own trail mix with different nuts and dried fruit • Apples slices and peanut butter

pg 18 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

• Organic yogurt • Frozen fruit cup slushy- thaw frozen berries and orange juice concentrate, mix in a bowl with your favorite fruits and 1/3 cup lemon juice. Freeze in 1-cup servings. Thaw slightly before serving.

• Sliced cucumbers in vinegar water • Build your own salad- chop up the toppings and put in separate bowls and let kids build their own • Tuna salad- albacore tuna packed in water, light on mayo • Air popped pop corn • Keep them Thinking Schedule time for reading at least 30 minutes each day.

Make family vacations time to learn about reading a map, following directions. Use the trip as an opportunity to research and learn about the history of the location you are visiting.

Visit museums and history centers in your area. Many times these are free of charge.

The most important thing I want to do this summer is slow down and enjoy the time. These are hectic times but ones we will cherish for a lifetime!

Dana is passionate about improving awareness around the importance of the food we feed ourselves and our families.

Her mission is to equip and encourage women to use their influence to positively affect the health of our families. Dana is married to Jonathan and they have two children, Gavin and Brianna.

Dana is a Dr. Sears Certified Health Coach and Certified in Plant Based Nutrition from eCornell University.

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He loves me, He loves me not

by Angela Pisel

“Some people might say inmates get what they deserve, but their children didn’t get what they deserve,” Scottie said. “Children need their moms and dads.”

For this one weekend, prison officials have agreed to allow carefully selected inmates the opportunity to interact with their children in ways normally not allowed within the prison systems. Forgiven Ministry believes this is a divinely appointed time where both a child and the inmate can experience the love of God and find forgiveness and reconciliation.

At Alexander Correctional, a male maximum-security prison, the inmates spend all-day Friday in sessions that teach them to be men of integrity and encourage them to be Godly dads. The fathers decorate wooden picture frames and write hand-written messages to their children that read: “I miss you every day,” or “I love you very much.”

Caregivers bring the children to the prison early Saturday morning.

“Many of these children have never visited their dad or mom in prison,” Scottie explained. “Some have never met their fathers. I tell them they’re going to visit their daddy where he lives.”

Each child is paired with a mentor volunteer who stays with the child and their parent throughout the day. Before the parent and the child are reunited, the parent changes from their prison uniform into a colorful t-shirt that matches those given to their son or daughter. A photographer captures the reconciliation so the photo can be placed in the decorated frame.

S

cottie Barnes waited 41 years to hear her father tell her he loved her. He finally said those words, handcuffed in a courtroom, right after a judge sentenced him to a fifth term in prison.

“I’d waited all my life to hear those words from my daddy,” Scottie shared. “He’d been in and out of prison since I was four. Most of my weekends with my mother were spent traveling up to three hours one way to see him. I longed for my daddy to hold me. I needed to hear him say he was proud of me. I was six when I first realized there was something different about my family.”

2.7 million children across America are growing up like Scottie Barnes did—celebrating holidays, birthdays, and first days of school separated from their incarcerated mom or dad. If the children are able to arrange a visit (many cannot because of distance and finances), the visitations are controlled and sterile. Inmates sit across from their children at a table or in some cases behind thick glass. Minimal, if any, physical contact is allowed.

A year after Scottie’s father spoke the words she so desperately needed to hear, he died of a heart attack. “I had no intentions of stepping foot in another prison,” Scottie said, “but God had other plans.”

For thirty-two weekends this year, Scottie, her husband Jack, and their team will travel across the country to spend the weekend in prison reuniting inmates with their children in what her Taylorsville, North Carolina based Forgiven Ministry calls “One Day With God” camps.

pg 22 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

A series of fun activities are planned that allow the fathers and their children to relax and to begin the process of getting to know one another—some fathers hold their child on their laps, others simply choose to hold hands. A birthday cake is brought out while the fathers sing “Happy Birthday” to their kids to celebrate the special day they missed. The day ends with quiet time for the fathers to talk with their children, answer questions, and simply bond.

A letter Scottie Barnes received several years ago from a nine- yearold boy encapsulates the mission of Forgiven Ministries: Thank you so much for the “One Day with God” camp and time with my daddy. Until the camp, I’d never seen my dad eat. I had never seen my dad run. He can run really fast. He loves popcorn, just like me. I got my first piggy back ride from my daddy. I am nine years old and weigh 86 pounds. He said he would have carried me even if I was 186 pounds because he loves me so much. Thank you for loving us enough to do this.

To learn more about Forgiven Ministry and Scottie Barnes, please visit the website at www.forgivenministry.org .

About the Author

Angela Pisel is a freelance writer and a novelist. Her debut novel, WITH LOVE FROM THE INSIDE, will be released from Putnam Publishing (Penguin/Random House), Summer of 2016. To find out more or to read an excerpt, visit www.angelapisel.com, or follow her on twitter @angelapisel.

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If you are going to be a bride, you are aware that something will go wrong with the wedding. It’s going to happen, regardless of all the planning in the world. There is no perfect wedding. Some brides get so frantic and worry so much that it makes them sick. Personally, I am one of the participants of an elopement so really never had to go through that. But having worked with brides for many years, I see the despair in their pitiful faces as the wedding day draws near.

And I know men generally don’t get it, as they typically just show up whenever they are supposed to and do as they are told.

Well, I am here to say some relief is in sight. That is, some things ARE more important than others. Plus, planning ahead is the real key to peace of mind. Here are a few things of what to, and especially, what not to worry about.

1. Get that marriage license when you are supposed to. Yes, there are people that forget about that piece of paper. And don’t forget to get it signed. It’s not legal unless it’s signed.

2. If someone backs out of the wedding at the last minute, don’t get mad, be glad. Miserable people love to make others as unhappy as they are. You didn’t need that drama anyway.

3. Make sure that you have a backup for the pastor that can quickly be reached.

4. A hem comes out of a pair of pants, use a stapler. Better than duct tape.

5. Wrinkled ribbon, a curling iron works great.

6. Anyone hung over from the night before, bang anything metal together. No sympathy here.

7. Give instructions that the flower girl and ring bearer have no sugar the day of the wedding. Also, ask that they potty right before the ceremony.

8. Another good thing is to make sure the wedding participants eat something substantial (but not a lot) an hour or two before the ceremony starts. Protein bars are good for this. They don’t need a lot of sugar either.

9. Veil gets wrinkled, mist with water and use a hair dryer. Go back and forth with the dryer and not too close.

10. Sweaty hands, use baby wipes. Also good to wipe spots off of clothes. Spilt wine, club soda is great to take out the stain.

11. Also have on hand paper towels, Kleenex, sewing kit with scissors, Scotch tape and yes, duct tape.

And last, keep a checklist or give it to someone you trust to make sure everything is done on time the way it is supposed to be done.

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If you happen to love the place, I think that is great. We all have different tastes in most everything. So if you happen to be one of the people who love the place, you are probably thinking to yourself ….what’s not to love. The beautiful long stretches of beaches where you can find secluded spots if you want to be alone might be one thing that you love. Another might be the one of a kind shops and restaurants owned by locals for many years.

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We love those things too. One huge problem was we could not find them. We were there three days before we could figure out where the actual ocean was. You can find the Intercostal Waterway without a lot of trouble, but the ocean, well that is another story. Unless you were fortunate to stay in an ocean front property somewhere, beach access is very hard to get to.

Okay, I will admit, maybe we just didn’t figure it out but we sure gave it a good try. One problem was, they did not have road signs identifying anything. McDonald’s golden arches, towering in the sky for all to see is a no no there. I surely was not looking for a McDonalds. I have paid my dues there with all our kids and grandkids but you get the point. They uphold the “natural” beauty of the island by not having anything but very small, hidden signs.

Signs are very important to me. Stop Ahead. 45 MPH. Shopping Mall 2 Miles on the Right. I know they are to a lot of folks…. like this story.

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A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?"

Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!

Sister: Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful.

At this point the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling.

Cop: Excuse me, Sister; what's wrong with your friends back

there? They're shaking something terrible.

Sister: Oh, we just got off of highway 119.

We were so busy trying to peer through trees and bushes to find a restaurant and one time nearly missing a stop sign, that one of us had to concentrate on driving while the other was busy looking for what was behind the hedges!

One local told us the only way for visitors to find something was to plug it in the GPS for directions and hope for the best. Really? Who wants to do that when you don’t know what you want to eat or what you might want to explore?

I think I figured out their secret though. They promote the long, beautiful stretches of quiet beaches to bring in tourists. The problem with that is, the roads are crowded…..crowded with people trying to find their way to the beach!

Okay,I have to get real. It is a beautiful place and they protect their beauty. I know lots of folks who love it and would not like the places I love. Give me my Myrtle Beach and SOS any day!

Maybe it is because I am a “People Watcher”. I mean, really, what don’t you see at the beach?

So grab your sunscreen and a beach blanket and maybe I will be watching you!

One last thing, where ever you go, please be safe and remember, our Father in Heaven is always there with you.

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Is it an excuse or a reason?

The pressure of doing and performing in life and at work can be overwhelming sometimes, if not all the time, when you feel the pressure personally. Day-to-day demands wreak havoc on our psyche in ways we don’t even realize, pushing us further and further away from what we may truly enjoy or like to be doing.

Add to this the dilemma of obligations or responsibilities that are less than appealing along with wants and needs, and all of the sudden, you find yourself almost bouncing through your day with no real launching pad to make you feel you are making any progress.

Amidst this overwhelm can come a coping mechanism that attempts to serve you, yet can actually undermine you if you are not aware of its subtle nuances. What I am referring to is knowing the difference between an excuse and a reason. When you are feeling pulled in many directions and the stress is getting to you, falling victim to making excuses can oftentimes be unintentional.

You may even think your so-called excuses are good reasons, but are they?

Avoiding the Inevitable: When we don’t really want to do something we know you need to do, we can come up with umpteen “reasons” why now is not a good time. Whether it is finishing something we have started, having a talk with a loved one, addressing a situation at work, or a myriad of other scenarios, we can rationalize why we just are not going to deal with the situation at this time. What you need to ask yourself is “Will I eventually have to deal with this?” If the answer is “yes,” then deal with it, now, not later. No more excuses.

Delaying Gratification: I am always amazed when someone shares that they really want to start doing something that will bring them joy or feed their passion, and yet then immediately share some warped logic on why it must wait. Everything from “when the children are older” or “when I have more time” to “its too late” or “too much time has passed to start now” or “I’m too old” are many examples of excuses, not reasons. If you really have a passion for something, a love of doing something … then there simply is no reason that can or should stop you.

Saving Face: When something doesn’t go exactly as was planned or how we had hoped it would transpire, we can easily attempt to explain it away with a collection of “reasons” for why things didn’t occur. Especially if the outcome makes you feel as though you may be viewed unfavorably or less worthy, your attempt to explain what happened can be internalized into a focus on saving face. Instead, allow yourself to embrace what has happened from a perspective of gaining insight. If you find this difficult, seek the perspective of a close friend or trusted colleague to help you put things into perspective.

Feeling Insecure: When we lack confidence in a particular area,

pg 28 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

it is easy to make excuses for why we are not pursuing a particular opportunity or direction. Even though you really would like see where it could lead, if you don’t feel confident about what your next best steps are, your self-talk may convince you that you are not ready or not qualified among many other so-called “reasons.”

Oftentimes, when it comes to insecurities, we can actually use a valid reason as an excuse. If you truly are not qualified based on fact versus supposition, then instead of using this valid reason as an excuse, why not turn that reason into inspiration to improve and advance your knowledge or abilities so this opportunity or direction can still be one you can pursue?

Recognize your excuses for what they are and then redirect your focus and attention to embracing each moment of each day with a renewed commitment to honoring yourself. Recognize your reasons for what they are as tools for growth, understanding and continually evolving as an individual. Once you can honestly recognize the difference between an excuse and a reason coupled with your own determination to not allow either to define you, there truly is no stopping you.

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You

I Missed

“And do you suppose God doesn’t care?

The proverb has it that ‘He’s a fiercely jealous Lover’.” James 4:5 It’s June. Makes me think of weddings, a dashing bridegroom standing sentry as his bride parades toward him up the aisle. Originally I entitled this article, I’ve Got the Perfect Husband. However, I imagined readers who are called to singleness or those with crumbling marriages who might be compelled to rip out these pages and use them for target practice. Or others who might think I’d cast myself hopelessly into a bottomless pit of denial inciting the plea, “My dear woman, Perfect.

Husband. Does. Not. Exist. Please seek counseling.”

If you’re the least bit curious, I challenge you to read on with the hope that maybe I’ve found the key to acquiring the ever-elusive Mr. Wonderful. But it was that day when I realized I was doing it again that God changed the title.

“Doing what again?”

“Forgotten Him, chased after god-substitutes. Broke that first commandment, ‘You shall have no other gods before me’.”

“Sounds like you’re in for a heavenly grounding.”

“Actually, no.”

“How do you figure?”

“He allured me back to His heart.”

In novel writing it’s my job to create characters who’ve experienced a significant wound, a “dark moment”, from their past. At some point in the story I have them realize their worst fear, mirroring that dark moment event. It’s a powerful element that increases tension. Fine in fiction, but here’s the thing: With respect to real life I hate tension - a mysterious unknown, significant loss, when things get messed up (Especially after I’ve invested time and energy so they won’t). God recently placed me in one of my own worst nightmares. I had to walk in it, feel it deeply. Once I woke up to the fact that my nightmare was real I heard Him. He spoke tenderly. “I missed you.”

“But Lord,” I whined twirling my finger around a strand of hair, “I’m right here.”

He reminded me, “Yes, but you’ve turned your affection elsewhere, made eyes at the lure of the world, longed for fulfillment in things, people, circumstances. It grieves Me because I never forget You, My precious bride, though you have forgotten Me. I am Faithful and True. I look on with jealousy. Fiercely so!”

pg 30 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

And that’s when I realized I’d traded Him in for another desire.

Again.

I suppose Dorothy had it right when she prepared to leave the Land of Oz and return home to Kansas. “If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again I won’t look any further than my own backyard.” (From the film, The Wizard of Oz, 1939). But finding a ruby-slipper solution for a wandering heart may not come easy.

My mother loved my father so deeply that she gave up her Chicago city-gal life to marry that handsome, Texas country fella. It required her to convert to a different denomination, one he cherished. And she chose to follow wherever he led. They spent their first years together in several regions of Canada. Despite the breath-taking beauty it was bleak, cold. Winters were especially hard. Dad’s income afforded them a tiny dwelling. They had no running water. She became a mother of three small children within only five years using cloth diapers (Recall - no running water!).

When Mom recounted those days there were no complaints. He was her husband, her lover. Her eyes remained fixed on him. Even when the ravages of end-stage Altzheimer’s had its way Mom repeatedly begged, “Where’s Bill?” each time she lost sight of him. Dad might agree with Jeremiah. “I remember the devotion of your youth, how as a bride you loved me and followed me through the desert, through a land not sown.”

(Jeremiah 2:2).

Consider these thoughts: • What I really desire will always be found in God. I need look no further.

• Married or single, male or female, young or old, God is a fiercely jealous Lover. He saddens when my eyes wander to self-perceived greater pleasures, to self-made idols that boast of things they can’t give.

• God will perfectly engineer circumstances that cause me to miss Him as much as He misses me.

• God is all about weddings. His triumphant return for His bride promises the biggest and best celebration ever. He’s already chosen my gown, one of fine linen, bright and clean (Revelation 19:8). What a cause to ‘Say Yes To The Dress’!

Simply put, I’d forgotten God, though He remembered me. And He missed me - every second of every day - because I’m His bride, always and forever.

About the Author Mary Albers Felkins is a former Registered and Licensed Dietitian turned writer. Throughout the course of her private nutrition consulting business she wrote much of her own teaching materials.

Mary is currently constructing her first Christian contemporary romance using principles taught by My Book Therapy (www. mybooktherapy.com). She considers scripture the most alluring romance ever written.

She is married to Bruce and they have four (adolescent to young adult-sized) arrows in their quiver.

Mary cordialy invites you to take a plunge into the deep oceans of thought or to stop and laugh out loud at her website, www. maryfelkins.com Email contact maryfelkins@charter.net

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Recipes for ife

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by Emily Wickham

Food for the Body Sugar Cookie Cake

(Recipe from Julie Doster at http://bit.ly/1bwOWUG)

¾ cup cold butter, cut in small pieces 3 cups all purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 ½ cups buttermilk 1 tsp. baking soda 2 eggs, beaten 1 tsp. vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl mix butter, flour, and sugar into crumbs (can use food processor for this step and then

pg 32 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

pour crumbs into a large bowl, finishing off with a pastry cutter).

Set aside one cup of crumbs.

To the rest of the crumbs, add the buttermilk to which the oneteaspoon of baking soda has been added. Add eggs and vanilla; mix and pour into a greased 9x13 pan. Top with the one cup reserved crumbs. Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes.

A Prayer for God’s Blessing Loving Father in heaven, You are faithful and immovable—my firm foundation. Amidst the twists and turns of life, Your presence is sure. Please forgive me for sometimes failing to recognize Your wondrous ways, and thank You for making Your nearness known when I feel alone.

Please draw me ever closer to You. In Jesus’ mighty name, Amen.

Food for the Soul I never knew this cake existed until several weeks ago, and just one bite determined my fondness for it. After receiving the recipe, I prepared this dessert to share with my mom and dad around their lovely dining table. They agreed: this cake is simply delicious.

Since my parents live close by, my family and I are blessed to eat dinner in their home once a week. We began this Friday night tradition as a way to keep in touch, enjoy each other’s

company, and provide a good meal for my mom and dad. All of us—including my children—have experienced a growing joy during these visits.

Yet you never know what a day will bring…

On an ordinary Sunday following a Friday gathering—the one topped off by Sugar Cookie Cake—my dad called. Mom had fallen, seriously injuring her hip. She needed surgery.

Together they waited. My son and I joined them.

Leaving the hospital after Mom’s surgery, I felt sort of numb and unable to pray like normal. At the same time, my emotions swirled and anxiety pervaded. Then God poured His love on me by bringing a scripture to mind: “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am Your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10, NASB

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Every day is a gift from our Maker, who knows the time allotted for each of us. “And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me” (Ps. 139:16). While difficulties and sorrows certainly afflict us in this life, we can press on knowing He. Is. With us.

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Are you facing something especially difficult and sorrowful?

God knows. He cares. And He will help you through. As Christians, we shouldn’t try to carry everything on our own, for God remains right beside us. His Spirit resides in us. When we turn to Him in every need, we’ll find ourselves wrapped in His love and sheltered under His wings.

I dearly love my parents and treasure our visits around the dinner table. My memory of sharing this dessert together provides sweetness in tough times. And when the unexpected— such as my mom’s broken hip—envelops me like a wild wave, I’m comforted knowing God is with me … with them … just as He is with all who know Him as Savior.

Love to you in Christ, and until next time, that’s a Recipe for Life…

Ask about Scout Camp-ins Emily Wickham gently reaches women’s hearts as she teaches God’s Word. ! Through various writing endeavors, she encourages readers into close relationship with God. Additionally she hosts and speaks at the Connecting with Christ Conference.

Visit www.proclaiminghimtowomen.com to read Emily’s blog. Connect with her via social media: www.facebook.com/emilywickham.author www.twitter.com/emilywickhamPH Emily, grateful to God for His blessings, enjoys life with her loving husband and children in western NC.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 33

pg 34 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 35

Do You Have

Commitment Issues?

by Susan Guest, ASID

T

his title often refers to personal relationships and run-away brides. Did you know that many of my design clients have commitment issues and are afraid to make a decision? They fear that it will be the wrong one or that they will spend money on a room and then find something they like better. Some customers are afraid to hang pictures because they will have to make nail holes in the walls.

The fashion and design industries are always changing colors and trends to encourage buyers to feel that their look is dated and thus, to spend money. This adds to the stress levels of many customers who have only a tight decorating budget. Luckily, some new products have been introduced to help those of you who have commitment issues.

1) Command Strips-these have been around a while, but they are wonderful for college students or renters who are not allowed to make holes in the walls. You can hang a fairly large piece of art or Christmas decorations without leaving a mark on the wall.

This is also great for people who have just moved into a house and are afraid to mess up their freshly painted walls. I would not use these strips on pictures that are heavy or that have glass or breakable finishes. They are great for canvases with museum mounting (wrapped canvas edges without a frame) or lightweight metal sculptures.

2) Removable Wallpaper- I use wallpapers for many projects for accent walls, in powder rooms, behind beds, in dining rooms, on tray ceilings and other places that need some drama. Some clients are afraid to commit to wallpaper. Last market, I found a source for removable wallpapers. These are perfect for renters, fun accents, and those with commitment issues.

3) Decals- Removable decals are fun ways to add punch to walls.

They are great for children’s rooms and can be changed as the child ages or develops new interests. Decals are great for large walls that need excitement and can be anything from a flock of birds to snow skiers.

4) Furniture Arrangement Fanatics- Some of my clients are constantly rearranging furniture. One week, the dining room table will be in a completely different area or room from the next. For these customers, I try to make sure that most of their furnishings coordinate enough that they will work in most rooms.

pg 36 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

Small chairs are covered in “miracle fabrics”-those with a pattern that combines every color and captures the style of the home.

These chairs float around the house from room to room.

5) Accent Colors- For those of you that choose all neutral colors for your main furnishings, there are great ways to add color without breaking the bank. You can add pillows to your beige or grey sofa in the trendiest hues. Try adding a strip of fabric about 10” wide in down the center of the back and seat of your dining chairs and pin at the top and underneath. Or you can tie a colored sash around your chair for a party to bring color into your room. For older wooden furniture that needs a facelift, paint it in a fun color with a shiny finish or cover the doors in fabric.

6) Rugs- One of the fastest ways to add color and drama to a room is with a rug. Now that they are available in all price points, you can purchase a rug in a trendy color to use for a while. After you are tired of the color, donate it to one of the deserving charities or sell it in a consignment shop.

7) Peel and Stick Floors- Flooring has come to new levels with carpet tiles that you can install yourself and remove and move to another area. There are also some harder surface tiles that can be installed over existing ceramic tiles that are new on the market.

Again, these are great for those of you who struggle to make decisions on permanent items.

It is expensive to decorate and most of us do not have huge budgets.

By breaking your projects down into smaller ones and by working on one room or area at a time, it will help your budget and your peace of mind. If you need confidence or help on your project, call a professional.

Happy Decorating!

Susan Guest, ASID is an award-winning interior designer in Hickory and owner of Guest Interiors, LLC. She is one of the designers featured in “Spectacular Homes of the Carolinas”, found in high-end bookstores around the country. President of ASID Carolinas. For more information, visit www.guestinteriors.com.

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www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 37

Lenoir & Caldwell County

Something’s Always Happening • Dr. Seuss Parade On Mulberry Street - March • NC Gravity Games - April • Downtown Cruise-Ins - First Saturdays April - December • Festival In The Park (Multi-Cultural) May • Butterfly Festival - May • Cycle To Serve Lenoir Rotary Cycling Event - May • Pop Ferguson Blues Festival - June • NC Blackberry Festival - July • Harambee Festival - August • Historic Happy Valley Fiddlers’ Convention - August • Sculpture Celebration - September • Festival On Main - September • Molasses Festival - October • Smoking In The Foothills - October • A Celebration Of Colors In Wilson Creek - October • Howl-a-Palooza - October • Caldwell Rotary Christmas Festival -November

pg 38 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

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Youngsters and the young at heart might say they attend the festival to see the crowning of the Little Miss. Blackberry Princess.

And don’t forget the traditional children’s inflatables and mini golf, along with the ever popular train. This year we are adding children’s book vendors and more food and beverage choices.

Cool frozen blackberry drinks, ice cream and even a vendor with a desert that was featured on The Food Network will be in attendance.

Some of the locals would say you should attend the NC Blackberry Festival so you don’t miss the “Blackberry Eating Contest.” You have to stand back and watch quick, because the competition is stiff.

To be fair, each blackberry box contains the exact number of berries and as they say…”The fastest mouth wins!”

A

re you curious about what makes the largest festival in Caldwell County an event you don’t want to miss? Some would say it’s the “World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler.” Right here in Caldwell County we create a work of art for which no other community can boast. The assembling of over 225 cobblers from local cooks is quite a feat. Bakers work together and bring their homemade blackberry cobblers to town bright and early on the morning of the festival. Then, around the noon hour, after the Presentation of Colors and a speech by Mayor Joe Gibbons, the cobblers are paraded into the square via the “Colossal Cobbler Parade Brigade!”

Crowds gather and you will not want to miss the FREE cobbler distributed while supplies last! Needless to say, it goes pretty quick. You can even pick up the simple recipe at the information booth on the square in Lenoir. Lots and lots of big beautiful juicy ripe blackberries are for sale in the “Berry Market” on South Main Street. The NC Blackberry and Raspberry Growers Association are on hand and will be selling their fruit. And don’t miss the local Farmers Markets selling locally grown veggies, fruits and flowers.

Many attend the festival to see the over 150 vendors displaying their crafts and creativity. Jewelry, candles, pottery, yarn and fabric creations, paintings, wood crafters and much more will be interspersed with local downtown businesses and area agencies. Commercial vendors will be sharing information and several have drawings for free giveaways.

Before you leave the festival you’ll have the opportunity to give the gift of life at the blood drive. That’s right; two buses from the American Red Cross will be prepared to collect donations. The temperature always seems to rise the second Saturday in July…why some say we are the “hottest little festival around.”

Scores of festival attendees come to hear the variety of live bands and musical entertainment throughout the day. Some will have seen us on Facebook and Twitter and want to check out our social media tent with free charging stations. No matter the reason, you’ll be glad you attended the 14th Annual NC Blackberry Festival in Lenoir. It’s a BERRY good time!

For more information call the Caldwell Chamber of Commerce or visit www.NCBlackberryFestival.com.

EVENT SCHEDULE Pre –Heat Party July 10th Friday Night BlackBEERy Garden - 6:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m.

Front Porch Pickin’ Stringed Instrument Competition -7:00p.m.

First Place $200, Second Place $100, Third Place $50 Glow Run - 5K/Fun Run - 8:30p.m.

Saturday July 11th BLackberry Festival Artisan, Craft, Food & Business Vendors -10 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Blackberry Princess Pageant -10:00 a.m.

Blackberry Eating Contest - 11:15 a.m.

Presentation of Colors - Noon

Colossal Cobbler Parade Brigade - 12:30 p.m.

World’s Largest Patchwork of Blackberry Cobbler Live Music/Entertainment 1 p.m.- 6 p.m.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 39

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Day In Day Out...

Dancing Through Life With Our Kids

5/20/15 8:25:01 AM

by Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC

A

fter yet another difficult conversation, I marched right to my bedroom like a little kid determined to throw the biggest pity party ever. “Why do we keep finding ourselves here?” I thought to myself. “What am I doing wrong and why can’t they simply respond to my direction?!” After so many wonderful moments with my teens, I often find myself reacting unreasonably instead of responding appropriately to their resistance to let me lead them on this dance floor called life.

On good days, when we are connected and collaborating well, I start to think that maybe I am now an advanced dancer. I feel confident and capable as their mom and they appear content and responsive to my lead.

It’s glorious. Even through disruptions, there is a rhythm and a flow that allows them to quickly receive my coaching and my correction. But, then there are those pity party days where I am surely still a beginner. I am stepping all over their toes when they step on mine. When I try to redirect our little dance by forcefully moving them to my position, they refuse to take my lead or go with the flow. One of us will either let go of our connection and hightail it off the dance floor in order to avoid another painful collision. Our beautiful little ditty is over and I struggle to figure out how to invite my teen to dance with me again.

I am learning more and more that similar to a professional dancer, I will always have more to learn and will never quite arrive. While the

pg 40 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

primary principles of moving with another person may not alter very much, the rhythm, the setting, and my partner’s unique personality can greatly impact the choreography I put into place. Most importantly, however, I must have a solid frame or carriage. This is our connection and my posture. Without it, our relationship loses its shape and lacks the safety they need to let me lead them. This connection started the day they came into my life. Through it, I communicate how much I treasure them and am deeply delighted by their mere existence. When we are struggling on the dance floor, I am noticing that I have lost our carriage by over focusing on the problems occurring between us or around us. It is my job as the leader of this dance to reconnect by patiently pursuing, valuing, looking, listening and loving them unconditionally. This can be tough when the dance I have with each of my kids is very different and ours alone. But, in order to keep them engaged, I must be aware of the state of our connection. Ah, the joys of dancing with different people.

We all begin this parenting dance with the choreography we gleaned from the way our own parents dance with us. Even if you had the best teacher, when you are the leader and your child is the student, the dance feels very different. If we do not spend time with the Father, the Master Teacher, we will always struggle to know how to lead and love our kids well. Just as Jesus did what He saw the Father doing, so can we if we spend time with Him. When we walk with Him and talk with Him we are dancing with Him. When we read His word, we are studying His ways.

As we lean in toward Him we begin to learn more about how to dance with His beloved children.

After I dance with my Father, I often find myself hurriedly looking to reconnect with my own little partners. I want them to experience what I learned with Him on the dance floor today. As we try again, I pray that I can reflect the same posture He holds with me. I long to imitate His gentle rhythm, His unending love and His wise instruction. My only hope is that through it all they can somehow feel His presence through me. Even when I mess up or trip up, I hope that my teens will somehow encounter Him even if it happens as they flee toward the only One who will perfectly lead them. Because, in the end this is really what dancing on earth is about after all - to allow each of us to experience a bit of the Father as we keep trying to dance with one another.

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father[e] does, that the Son does likewise. For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel. John 5:19-20

Jackie E. Perry, MS, LPCS, NCC is a North Carolina Licensed Professional Counselor.

For the past 20 years her primary focus has been working with adolescents and families to address a myriad of problems typical of this season in development. Jackie is also a frequent speaker and writer who is passionate about using her experience to equip and encourage parents and professionals through her seminars, articles and blogs. You can follow her weekly blog, LifeGiving Streams, check out her next speaking engagement or learn more about her work at www.jackieperry.net. She is married to John and together they are parenting three teens of their own.

Family-friendly Meals Need Not Take A Lot Of Time

Parents faced with the nightly task of preparing meals for their families often feel as if there’s just not enough time to cook a hearty, homecooked meal the whole family can enjoy. Long hours at the office can make some parents feel like they need to be magicians to serve up a delicious meal in the time between arriving home from work and going to bed.

But family-friendly meals can still find their way to your dinner table even if you are pressed for time. The following recipe for “Sliced Steak With Crispy Polenta” from “Weightwatchers: Cook It Fast” (St. Martin’s Press) can be whipped up in roughly 30 minutes, meaning it’s entirely possible for families to sit down to a fresh and delicious meal any night of the week.

Sliced Steak With Crispy Polenta Serves 4 1 1/2 1/2 1 11/2 1 1/2 1 2

1-pound lean flank steak, trimmed teaspoon ancho or regular chili powder teaspoon salt 16-ounce tube fat-free polenta, cut into 12 slices cups fresh or thawed frozen corn kernels red bell pepper, chopped red onion, chopped jalapeño pepper, seeded and minced tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

1. Spray ridged grill pan with nonstick spray and set over mediumhigh heat. Sprinkle steak with chili powder and salt. Place steak in pan and cook until an instant-read thermometer inserted into side of steak registers 145 F for medium, about 5 minutes on each side. Transfer steak to cutting board and let stand 5 minutes. Cut on a diagonal into 16 slices.

2. Meanwhile, spray boiler rack with nonstick spray and preheat boiler. Arrange slices of polenta on rack and broil 5 inches from heat until crispy and heated through, about 2 minutes on each side.

3. Spray medium skillet with nonstick spray and set over medium heat. Add corn, bell pepper, onion, and jalapeño pepper; cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and stir in cilantro.

4. Place 3 slices of polenta on each of 4 plates and top each serving with 4 slices of steak. Divide corn mixture evenly among plates.

Do it faster: To neatly and quickly remove the kernels from an ear of corn, place a bowl in the sink, stand the corn on end inside the bowl, and cut off the kernels with a knife. Any fly-away kernels will end up in the sink.

www.sophiewomansmagazine.com | pg 41

So what makes this so special for our area and for North Carolina?

Three of the pilots are North Carolinians!

Meet the co- secretary of the Kitty Hawk Chapter of the 99’s this year, Stephanie Wrenn. She teaches flying at Flightgest in Raleigh Durham and says she still remembers the first time she ever experienced that true feeling of freedom that only flying can give. She said flying has given her the confidence and joy she never knew she had. Stephanie is an Amelia Earhart Memorial Scholarship winner helping to pay for her Multi Engine Rating.

Who’s Flying That Plane?

By Judy Smith and Susan VanFleet

The All Women Cross Country Air Race is coming to the Hickory Airport on Monday June 22, 2015 This is quite an honor for our area. This organization was founded back in 1929 by non-other than Amelia Earhart herself. That very first race, they called themselves The Ninety Nines and had their first race, The Powder Puff Derby that flew from Santa Monica to Cleveland.

Not only was Amelia Earhart the first president of this group, but we all know later she became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic to Europe in the year 1932. She formed this organization for the purpose of supporting women that were flying or wanted to learn to fly.

Since that day the group has now grown to over 5000 members from countries around the world.

This year’s Air Race Classic will start in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Theairplanes will take off one after another beginning at 8 a.m. Monday, June 22. They’ll fly to Morganton NC, do a high-speed, low approach (offset to the side of the runway) across a designated timing line to stop their time for that leg, then continue on to Hickory to land and get fuel. Depending on the weather, the first racers should arrive in Hickory around 9:30 AM. Some teams will stay for a while and others will take off immediately, fly back to Morganton to do another flyby to restart their time, and then continue on to the next stop in Connellsville, PA. After four days the race will end in Fairhope, Alabama covering 2,200 miles. The race is limited to 55 aircraft, two women or more per aircraft. The race must be conducted by visual means only in the day light hours and the racers are not allowed to fly in the clouds during the race.

pg 42 | Sophie Woman’s Magazine | June 2015

Next meet Jan Squillace. If you think I would like to fly but it is too late for me think again. Jan started flying after having a forty year career in the computer industry as a designer of financial systems. She’s a Technical Support Consultant and now that her children have finished high school, she has thrown herself into her passion of aviation.

She was the first female president of the 52 year old Wings of Carolina Flying Club in Sanford NC, she is the FAAST Team Representative teaching safety to the aviation community, among many other volunteer aviation endeavors.

Last but not least is Corbi Bullock. Corbi, who flies the governor of North Carolina, was the first female pilot to be hired by the NC Department of Transportation. Corbi is a member of the International Board of Directors for the 99s and has served as president of the Kitty Hawk Chapter of the 99’s. This year is her first time to race in the Air Race Classic.

The Hickory Airport, owned and operated by the city of Hickory welcomes these lady flyers. The Hickory Airport has a reputation of being and excellent airport with extremely competent and friendly staff.

The public is welcome to come to the airport to watch the arrival and departure of the race teams.

For more information: Susan VanFleet 828-413-3636 susan321ss@aol.com

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hatever happened to the 1960’s brick ranch? Okay, it may not have been the most attractive house on the block but it certainly was the most practical. As baby boomers we wanted to get out of those boring cookie cutter brick ranches where we grew up and into a sprawling multi-level but ask any real estate agent what is “hot� right now and you’ll hear, “One level ranch style - they’re getting snapped up like hot cakes!� Wow, things sure do come full circle.

One of the most consistent comments I hear from older adults and baby boomers, “I just want to stay in my own home.� All sounds great in theory but is your home ready for you to age gracefully and stay at home? A recent study from Harvard’s Joint Center for Housing Studies and the AARP says probably not.

American housing has primarily been built for the young and mobile.

So what is it that our seniors and the rising population of baby boomers need in their homes? The 2011 American Housing Survey indicated five primary features that are key to keeping a residence livable when mobility and dexterity is compromised : extra wide hallways and living spaces, no-step entries and exits (including bath/shower entry and exit); one story living; rocker light switches, waist high outlets; and door levers.

The buzz word you are looking for is “universal design�. It is exactly these “universal� adjustments to current housing and new construction that can mean the difference between having to move out of your own home, or finding the right living arrangement should you decide to move.

If you are a baby boomer who intends to stay in your home as long as possible then age proofing now should be priority Number 1! Some of

these adjustments (light switches, relocation of outlets to waist height, and door levers) can be relatively inexpensive. More significant adjustments can be costly but addressing them now could keep you in your home a lot longer. Wait and you could potentially paint yourself in a corner. No one expects to have a fall or an illness that would confine them to a first floor bedroom or make it challenging to step into the shower but it happens.

If you’re not already equipped at home to face these challenges then you could end up paying high fees to be in a rehabilitation facility that can meet your needs.

current home isn’t “age friendly” then consider downsizing to something more manageable while you can make the move.

A Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) can help you remodel your home using universal design concepts. To find a CAPS remodeler in your area visit www.nahb.org/capsdirectory (National Association of Home Builders), As Jeff Foxworthy says, “Here’s your sign!” Get busy making the decisions that can make your life or the life of a senior you know work more efficiently. This is your “next right step” to be in control of your life, your living arrangement and your long term happiness.

About The Author

With the cost of long term care hovering around $4000.00 to $7000.00 a month, the cost of a remodel to “universal design” starts to look better and better. Plus it will increase the resale value of your home. If your

As a CERTIFIED SENIOR ADVISOR* Cyndi is on a mission to advise Seniors and their family members on viable options in Senior Care and Dementia Care. She has extensive training in senior services and has a solid track record in the senior services industry. Her extensive experience in the areas of Assisted Living Care, Dementia Care and In Home Care comes from having worked and trained with the finest providers in the industry Bell Senior Living, Five Star Senior Care and Seniors Helping Seniors. She is an accomplished public speaker - focused on educating the community on senior services and Alzheimer’s disease. With the heart of a true caring provider - Cyndi provides up to date information and solutions through her business Senior Sounding Board Consulting to seniors and their families as they navigate through the process of aging.

Cyndi’s broad media background of sales, marketing and management experience with DISNEY, ABC-RADIO, and CUMULUS BROADCASTING. has provided a strong platform for her success in the senior services industry.

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