THE CURIOUS CASE OF…
Taking a page out of the triedand-true “cozy mystery” genre, THE CURIOUS CASE OF... MURDER presents the kitschiest crimes. Each of these real-life murder cases harbors the tropes of the films: silver-haired suspects, dainty murder weapons, picturesque crime scenes, all-seeing cats, a preponderance of scones.
Recreated in the delightfully nostalgic style of classics like MURDER, SHE
WROTE, these stories come alive the moment someone gets snuffed. A clever elderly narrator (think: Emily Post meets your nosy neighbor) will draw us into the story, leading with the most charming aspects of the crime. Assisted by interviews with investigators, witnesses, and loved ones with firstperson knowledge of the incident, our omniscient little old lady will pop in to offer her coy commentary throughout the episode. Depicted in the endearingly
melodramatic style of MIDSOMER
MURDERS, recreations will illustrate the alternate theories of the case.
Our neighborly narrator can’t help but tease tawdry tidbits throughout, closing every case with a misguided moral lesson. If a snitch breaks the case, she may scold us all to mind our P’s and Q’s or if someone dies at the patisserie, she’ll dole out baking tips. This is a tongue-in-cheek repeatable true crime series for cheeky tongue-waggers. Grab your fluffiest blanket and curl up with a steamy cuppa, it’s time to keep calm and murder on.
EXAMPLE CASES
The Curious Case of… the Busy Bee:
Quiet homebody
Anthony Knight was found shot in his bed one night. Detectives were puzzled to discover that the only thing ary at the scene was that the tubs of fresh honey, collected from Anthony’s beehives were missing. Honey -it turns out- is quite pricey! As police were trying to determine where to track an illicit honey sale, another dead body turns up: Knights killer is found dead, squashed by a tub of honey as he was unloading his truck.
The Curious Case of… the Knock at the Door:
Gregory Davis fancied himself an oil mogul, and his fancy house showed it. His wife and kids knew not to ask too many questions about his business, some corners might have been cut in order to pay for the addition. So, on a cold wintery night when a pair of US Marshals showed up at the door asking for Gregory to accompany them for questioning, everyone assumed they would have a lawsuit on their hands. However. Gregory turned up dead the next day. A mysterious fake 911 call from someone pretending to be Gregory was the key to detectives cracking the case: scorned business partners had hired hitmen to pretend to be Marshals in a scheme that took years for detectives to unravel.
The Curious Case of… the Snowball Fight:
When police found Sheila Bonge dead in a snowdrift in her own backyard, tracing her last steps wasn’t hard: they were imprinted in the snow. The suspects in the case were numerous: Sheila had been making enemies of her neighbors for years, regularly driving through their lawns, destroying the grass, flipping them off, calling them names. She was despised by everyone on the block. It was the snow that broke the camel’s back for her nextdoor neighbor who saw her snow blowing her lawn onto his freshly shoveled walk. He put down his coffee cup, shot her, and pled guilty.
The Curious Case of… the Not-so-Sweet Potato:
It was a freezing cold evening on the Cape when 31-year-old Todd Lampley was shot dead. He was shot through his window while watching TV, while friends and family were in the next room. The clues left at the scene were peculiar: a cell phone registered to a fictional character from, “The Wire,” and a sweet potato. Detectives discovered the potato was used as a silencer, but it didn’t help them crack the case until a decade later when the now-shriveled nightshade was tested for DNA evidence. The evidence revealed the culprit was after Lampley as revenge for a difference shooting that had transpired years before.
The Curious Case of… the Ice Cream Queen:
85-year-old Anna Mae Branson was a spitfire. She owned the local Dairy Queen and made it a hotspot for all the local kids. She was known for being glamorous and effervescent- the opposite of a “little old lady.” When she was stabbed to death, the community of Madison, KY was in shock. Who could have wanted her dead? The initial suspect was her spritely fiance: Dr. Bob, a retired eye surgeon. A robust investigation revealed her nephew with a secret gambling addiction had done the deed.
The Curious Case of… the Unsafe Safe:
Wayside Antiques was a charming little shop selling vintage jewelry and furniture, run by a husband and wife who had spent their lives hunting for precious items. One afternoon they were found dead: handcuffed to the safe in the backroom, with the rest of the store ransacked. A nationwide investigation followed as detectives traced the priceless one-of-a-kind valuables to new owners, ultimately finding the perpetrators through interviews with antique collectors who had initially been thrilled to at the great deal they’d gotten on treasures.
The Curious Case of… the Ripped Pantyhose:
Sonia Stone was a quintessential California girl, working for Levi’s and living in the picturesque Carmel-bythe-Sea neighborhood. One morning in 1981, her friend popped by and discovered that Sonia was murdered, strangled by her own pantyhose. She had been attacked, and based on testimony from a neighbor, the investigation zeroes on Sonia’s nextdoor neighbor. The neighbor is charged with murder twice, with both trials ending in dismissals as his alibi of playing softball holds up in court. Forty years later, the DNA catches up, and the third trial against the neighbor ends in a conviction.
SAMPLE EPISODE:
THE CURIOUS CASE OF…
THE TRIGGERHAPPY CLOWN
COLD OPEN
We open on the meticulously manicured grounds of the Warren family estate. Tucked within a comfortable gated community, this is the kind of neighborhood where the Joneses might have trouble keeping up. It’s no surprise that when a shocking murder happens on one of these perfectly coiffed lawns, half the block just so happens to have been peeping through their curtains. Our narrator will introduce us to the area, reminding us of the best tools for a diligent member of the neighborhood watch: opera glasses and fig newtons (so one can see, snack, and stay regular).
THE CRIME, RECREATED
From here, we rewind to a version of Memorial Day Weekend 1991. Garishly patriotic decorations line the block. Past the overdone beef patties and shrieking children, a nouveau riche mini mansion comes into focus. This is the home of Marlene Warren: wife, mother, and soon-to-be victim. She’s in whirlwind prep mode for the holiday weekend, cleaning her countertops (using white vinegar on granite, to our narrator’s dismay) before her husband gets home from the car dealership. When the doorbell rings, Marlene is surprised to be greeted by a circus clown in full regalia on her doorstep.
For a moment, she’s stunned. The clown is painted with the traditional arching eyebrows and red smear of a smile. In his gloved hands, he’s holding a basket of carnations and some balloons reading, “You’re the greatest.” Marlene must have been flattered because her son in the next room overheard her exclaim, “Aw, how sweet.” We’ll stay with the son in the next room for the next moment of a gunshot. He runs into the foyer where balloons bounce against the rafters, carnations are scattered, and a bloodstain slowly seeps across the carpet (now that’s a task for the white vinegar!).
THE INVESTIGATION
As the story becomes a crime, we’ll hear from the investigators, witnesses and experts in the case. While these interview subjects might be a little more blunt than our narrator, what they lack in discretion, they make up for in divulgence. Dressed in comfy clothes and seated in a cute corner of the home, they’ll recount their time tracing the case. This case unfolds over twenty years. Marlene’s son and multiple neighbors who saw the “killer clown” flee the scene… in a convertible. In addition to the gaggle of witnesses, there was forensic evidence to test. However, without any intent for robbery, the biggest question on investigators’ minds was motive. We’ll recreate scenes as they were relayed to detectives.
Marlene’s husband was an immediate suspect and not just because he’s a used car dealer. Months before the murder he had inquired with his insurance agent whether a life insurance policy could be collected if one spouse killed the other. The agent and Marlene, who was also there, took it as a joke. However, his alibi was bulletproof: he was en route to the racetrack with two buddies. Marlene’s parents weren’t convinced, they accused Michael themselves, only to have him proclaim innocence and change the subject on them…
THE THEORIES
There were confusing breaks in the case: we’ll play them all out in recreation even as details conflict. An inmate across the country claimed to have committed the crime on behalf of Michael Warren, but his version doesn’t match the police report. Meanwhile, a deathbed confession of a former employee seems to point in a different direction. In yet another twist, an anonymous 911 call accused an employee of Michael’s dealership, Bargain Motors of having an affair with him. That employee was 27-year-old Sheila Keen. Her husband sold cars to Michael and she had a history of clowning. Police procure security footage of a woman purchasing a clown costume days before the shooting from a party supply store. The woman looks exactly like Sheila Keen. The problem? The costume doesn’t match the neighbors’ descriptions of the killer’s suit. While there was quite a bit of physical evidence at the scene– including a long, blonde hair hanging from a balloon string– there weren’t forensic methods to test it… yet.
THE MORAL
With an innocent hitman, an honest mechanic and an unhappy clown, this case puzzled police for decades. With the true killers locked away, there’s one clear takeaway from our semi-reliable narrator: carnations are always a crime.
THE BREAK
The case goes colder than the Yorkshire Pudding on Boxing Day. Then, on the twentieth anniversary of the crime, a journalist notices that Michael Warren has moved to Virginia where he has opened a fast food restaurant called The Purple Cow with his long-haired new wife, Sheila Keen. Police reopen the case. DNA testing technology has advanced in the twenty-something years since the murder and there’s a match… A grand jury indicts Sheila KeenWarren on murder charges.
