9789197913300

The

“After reading the book non-stop, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I’ve never read a book that has been this entertaining, while still delivering a clear and profound message.”

“This book changed my life.”

“The Art of Making Out is the most unerring book I’ve ever read. As if it was written just for me. Brilliant!”

“I couldn’t stop reading.”

ART of MAKING OUT!

Testimonials from readers

Klas Hallberg

However, as a motivational speaker he has given more than fifteen hundred talks and helped hundreds of thousands of people to live a more inspired life. He has written five books that all together have sold a hundred and fifty thousand copies. This is in Sweden, a tiny little country with nine million inhabitants.

Klas Hallberg

There is absolutely nothing in the formal background of Klas Hallberg that would make his books worth reading.

He’s a business school drop out who has never had a real job.

All the above quotes are from actual readers of this book.

Quotes from people who have read the book and made use of it in their everyday life. At the same time they’ve also been entertained. That’s what this book is all about.

It’s about having a good laugh, and about being inspired to live a better life. Without pointers. I promise. I have written the book I haven’t been able to find on the bookshelf myself. I hope you’ll like it!

“Klas Hallberg is hip, smart, sharp, and fearless. Read this book if, like me, you love the unvarnished observations of a hard-core truth-teller” Alan M. Webber Author, Rules of Thumb and founder of Fast Company

Do not read this book:

f o T R A e Th

MAKINKG las berg ll a H !

T U O by

A book about the meaning of life, personal growth, and everything

Finally Klas has decided to translate his No 1 bestseller ”The Art of Making Out” into English. He is also ready to take his brilliant stage performances to the international scene.

in between.

If you prefer pompous academic reasoning instead of accurate observations in your everyday life.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you long for 5 steps to ultimate success or other quick fix formulas which only aim to make life more linear than it actually is.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you believe that serious books must be boring and that being bored is a prerequisite for being serious.

❋ www.klashallberg.com

The

“After reading the book non-stop, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I’ve never read a book that has been this entertaining, while still delivering a clear and profound message.”

“This book changed my life.”

“The Art of Making Out is the most unerring book I’ve ever read. As if it was written just for me. Brilliant!”

“I couldn’t stop reading.”

ART of MAKING OUT!

Testimonials from readers

Klas Hallberg

However, as a motivational speaker he has given more than fifteen hundred talks and helped hundreds of thousands of people to live a more inspired life. He has written five books that all together have sold a hundred and fifty thousand copies. This is in Sweden, a tiny little country with nine million inhabitants.

Klas Hallberg

There is absolutely nothing in the formal background of Klas Hallberg that would make his books worth reading.

He’s a business school drop out who has never had a real job.

All the above quotes are from actual readers of this book.

Quotes from people who have read the book and made use of it in their everyday life. At the same time they’ve also been entertained. That’s what this book is all about.

It’s about having a good laugh, and about being inspired to live a better life. Without pointers. I promise. I have written the book I haven’t been able to find on the bookshelf myself. I hope you’ll like it!

“Klas Hallberg is hip, smart, sharp, and fearless. Read this book if, like me, you love the unvarnished observations of a hard-core truth-teller” Alan M. Webber Author, Rules of Thumb and founder of Fast Company

Do not read this book:

f o T R A e Th

MAKINKG las berg ll a H !

T U O by

A book about the meaning of life, personal growth, and everything

Finally Klas has decided to translate his No 1 bestseller ”The Art of Making Out” into English. He is also ready to take his brilliant stage performances to the international scene.

in between.

If you prefer pompous academic reasoning instead of accurate observations in your everyday life.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you long for 5 steps to ultimate success or other quick fix formulas which only aim to make life more linear than it actually is.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you believe that serious books must be boring and that being bored is a prerequisite for being serious.

❋ www.klashallberg.com

The Art of Making Out A book about the meaning of life, personal growth, and everything in between

Klas Hallberg

www.klashallberg.com Copyright © 2010 Klas Hallberg Publishing Translation: Björn Lönner Original title: Hångla mer! En bok om att ge sig hän Graphical design: Maria Ulaner Printed by Stripe Media AB

Contents

5

The point

11 The art of making out – the actual meaning of life 17 Welcome to school you little idiot – a chapter about how ideas get stuck in your head 29 Not everyone can have their dream job – a chapter about disappointment 41

If the map doesn’t correspond with the territory… trust the map?

– a chapter about driving on the highway

47 The dog’s pissing on the gate – a chapter about different things actually existing My Mjölby

The Fun Club 75 Seriously making out – a chapter about the difference between serious and grave 81 We drink far too much must – a chapter about making your own choices 93 Yeahwellnope – a chapter about our most important words 01 Manufacturing your own ballot sheet 1 – a chapter about who sits on the mandates in your government 111 Sorry, I can’t afford it – a chapter about running away?

117 Well borange asshole!

– a chapter about taking yourself seriously 129 Stress down in 60 seconds – a chapter about how easily we get lost Krylbo station 149 I’m tougher than you and my dad could whip your dad’s ass any day – a chapter about the difficulty of being a human Loneliness 161 Great that you care – but it doesn’t matter anyway – a chapter about lack of meaning The big question 169 Making out at any cost – a chapter for the truly devoted make-outer 177 The four rooms of confusion – a reflection on personal development 185 Being both a poet and a businessman – a chapter about creating what you want, while experiencing what’s really there 195 One last kiss

The point Uncertainty can be very unpleasant. So in order to minimize future unwelcome uncertainty regarding the actual point of this book, here it is: the message in a nutshell. And some comments on how you might want to go about reading this book.

If you want to start by reading the whole book first… and then jump back and check this page to see if you “got it”, that’s absolutely fine.

You could also rip this page out and burn it… so that you can be completely satisfied with your own, true and individual experience of reading this book.

Whichever you may choose, the point I’m trying to make in this book is: That it’s not dangerous to live and since it isn’t, we should indulge ourselves completely in living. First I go about describing how we as human beings form our ideas and perceptions; our “truths” about ourselves and others. How do we obtain these perceptions and why do they stick with us, and why are so many of us afraid of living? Then I give tons of examples of this phenomenon and look at it from different angles and perspectives. Last I give some suggestions on how to indulge in life and live it more fully. I’ll use “making out” as a metaphor for indulging in life throughout the book.

5

piece of cake.

Most of what you read in this book will simply be reminders of stuff you already know. If you’re someone who has seen me on stage, you’ll be reminded for the second time. Which is probably a good thing, because I doubt you’ve made a lot of changes in your life just because you’ve heard me give a talk once. Am I right? Not on a conscious level anyway. But then again, a few things might have seeped in subconsciously.

So if you’re standing there in the bookshop thinking you already know all this and that you don’t need to read what some pretentious punk with curly hair thinks about it; now’s your chance to put the book down and start looking for another one. If you’ve already bought the book and it’s in your hands, you’re a little worse off. Because then you’re either curious now and everything’s fine and dandy and you can go right ahead and start reading. Or instead you’re sitting there feeling swindled by the schmuck in the bookstore or by some friend or by the back cover of this book. Feeling swindled and stuck with a shitty book.

Damn! But if that’s the case, there’s always that bittersweet sensation there to rescue you; the sensation of reading purely motivated by duty, guilt and shame. So suck it in. Or by all means: Burn me!

It’s worse if you got the book from a close friend… or worst of all: from your mother. Then please leave me out if it if you think I’m lecturing you. Because I’m not going to be bothered with whatever use you have or don’t have of this book. And just because your mom can’t keep herself from trying to save you from your own life and is now using me as some sort of hitman to take a crack at your hard-earned limited perceptions regarding yourself, don’t blame me for God’s sake. Nope! Go get her! That’s what I say. Tell her like it is and that this better damned well be the end of it and that from now on she should mind her own life and stay out of yours. That’s right. That’s the spirit.

Well well.

7

You might have a totally different motive for starting – or not starting – to read.

Now.

The art of making out – the actual meaning of life

What do you want your life to be like?

Do you want to kiss your sweetheart on the cheek, say something intellectually brilliant and give her some tacky chocolate hearts on Valentine’s Day? Or would you rather make out until you’re soaked with sweat and lose yourself completely in your partner?

Do you want to watch your kids play in the mud from a safe distance so you won’t get your pants dirty? Or would you rather say what the hell and join in?

When you look your children in the eyes, do you want to say something smart and offer them a nutritious snack they find barely eatable, or do you want to lose yourself completely in their eyes and then run wild in the kitchen baking them their favorite cake?

When someone you know faces sorrow, do you want to sit next to them with an awkward hand on their shoulder, say something lame and impersonal and give them something sweet to chew on to make them feel better? Or do you want to let them embrace you and pour their tears and heartache all over you?

What kind of life do you want?

11

This book is about making out.

The term making out is used throughout the book as a metaphor. So it doesn’t mean you have to run around sticking your tongue in people’s mouths all day. I’m going to be over-explicit now, because I know it can be tough for readers to not see images of swirling tongues and half-open mouths all over the place.

Making out is more a symbolic expression and a call for people to indulge in the experience of living.

A metaphor for indulgence.

The thesis of this book is that indulgence is the whole point of living.

Making out.

To indulge oneself.

Completely.

In life.

12

When you make out your teeth might collide. Your might get your lips squeezed and your clothes all messy. You might get sweaty; you might even drool all over the other person’s newly ironed shirt. And someone might see you…

Making out in public?

No, it’s safer to kiss the cheek a little.

To discretely kissiekissie and say “you look very nice today” and that seafood and white wine would be lovely since it’s Friday night and all. To stroll around in your everyday life like a zombie and stay clear of intimacy and presence. To not quite engage in the joys or sorrows of the people around you, to live with cotton in your ears. To express emotions on a routine basis and be a bit “careful” and “not take too much space” and “show respect”.

It’s good to show respect and be careful. But it’s not so good when it leads to self-extinction.

And it becomes very boring.

So.

Long live making out.

13

Let’s make out

b

boys and girls!

15

The

“After reading the book non-stop, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I’ve never read a book that has been this entertaining, while still delivering a clear and profound message.”

“This book changed my life.”

“The Art of Making Out is the most unerring book I’ve ever read. As if it was written just for me. Brilliant!”

“I couldn’t stop reading.”

ART of MAKING OUT!

Testimonials from readers

Klas Hallberg

However, as a motivational speaker he has given more than fifteen hundred talks and helped hundreds of thousands of people to live a more inspired life. He has written five books that all together have sold a hundred and fifty thousand copies. This is in Sweden, a tiny little country with nine million inhabitants.

Klas Hallberg

There is absolutely nothing in the formal background of Klas Hallberg that would make his books worth reading.

He’s a business school drop out who has never had a real job.

All the above quotes are from actual readers of this book.

Quotes from people who have read the book and made use of it in their everyday life. At the same time they’ve also been entertained. That’s what this book is all about.

It’s about having a good laugh, and about being inspired to live a better life. Without pointers. I promise. I have written the book I haven’t been able to find on the bookshelf myself. I hope you’ll like it!

“Klas Hallberg is hip, smart, sharp, and fearless. Read this book if, like me, you love the unvarnished observations of a hard-core truth-teller” Alan M. Webber Author, Rules of Thumb and founder of Fast Company

Do not read this book:

f o T R A e Th

MAKINKG las berg ll a H !

T U O by

A book about the meaning of life, personal growth, and everything

Finally Klas has decided to translate his No 1 bestseller ”The Art of Making Out” into English. He is also ready to take his brilliant stage performances to the international scene.

in between.

If you prefer pompous academic reasoning instead of accurate observations in your everyday life.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you long for 5 steps to ultimate success or other quick fix formulas which only aim to make life more linear than it actually is.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you believe that serious books must be boring and that being bored is a prerequisite for being serious.

❋ www.klashallberg.com

The

“After reading the book non-stop, I felt like I had been run over by a bus. I’ve never read a book that has been this entertaining, while still delivering a clear and profound message.”

“This book changed my life.”

“The Art of Making Out is the most unerring book I’ve ever read. As if it was written just for me. Brilliant!”

“I couldn’t stop reading.”

ART of MAKING OUT!

Testimonials from readers

Klas Hallberg

However, as a motivational speaker he has given more than fifteen hundred talks and helped hundreds of thousands of people to live a more inspired life. He has written five books that all together have sold a hundred and fifty thousand copies. This is in Sweden, a tiny little country with nine million inhabitants.

Klas Hallberg

There is absolutely nothing in the formal background of Klas Hallberg that would make his books worth reading.

He’s a business school drop out who has never had a real job.

All the above quotes are from actual readers of this book.

Quotes from people who have read the book and made use of it in their everyday life. At the same time they’ve also been entertained. That’s what this book is all about.

It’s about having a good laugh, and about being inspired to live a better life. Without pointers. I promise. I have written the book I haven’t been able to find on the bookshelf myself. I hope you’ll like it!

“Klas Hallberg is hip, smart, sharp, and fearless. Read this book if, like me, you love the unvarnished observations of a hard-core truth-teller” Alan M. Webber Author, Rules of Thumb and founder of Fast Company

Do not read this book:

f o T R A e Th

MAKINKG las berg ll a H !

T U O by

A book about the meaning of life, personal growth, and everything

Finally Klas has decided to translate his No 1 bestseller ”The Art of Making Out” into English. He is also ready to take his brilliant stage performances to the international scene.

in between.

If you prefer pompous academic reasoning instead of accurate observations in your everyday life.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you long for 5 steps to ultimate success or other quick fix formulas which only aim to make life more linear than it actually is.

❋ ❋ ❋ If you believe that serious books must be boring and that being bored is a prerequisite for being serious.

❋ www.klashallberg.com