Hark! Shit’s Going Down at Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament™! Harry Saroff
Ah, Medieval Times, a unique attraction: a dinner tournament organized on tradition— albeit on traditions far preceding our own, times of knights, jousting, and monarchs on thrones. (Though time is subjective in these sorts of shows; the mismatched eras interposed betwixt their trite, old-timey prose, can give proper historians painful throes.) A sand-filled arena makes up center stage, with seats on all sides, filled with fans quite engaged. Enter six Knights, who’ve donned armor of color, all competing, through joust, for their shot at honor: The Red knight, the Yellow, Orange, and Green, the Blue, and the Violet, eager to be seen, as they prance out the gate, each on back of a horse, armed with lances and shields—a mighty display of force! Soon those shields to lances shall repent 60
