DRAGON’S DUNGEON

dragon’s dungeon

Dan O’Hare • A random man wanders into my lair • I toast him • Two knights come to slay me • I roast them • Next, they send the town army • Looks like a tasty meal for me • They decide to send a party of adventurers • The sorcerer was spicy; is it cannibalism if they had dragon scales on them? • More adventurers, what a surprise • One was a dragonborn, but those aren’t technically dragons. Still feels cannibalistic • Whatever other dragons’ eggs hatched into dragonborn must be very sad dragons • Another set of adventurers. All of them are either dragonborn, lizardfolk, or kobolds • Okay, alright, how am I supposed to eat all of these guys. They look too much like me • I talk to them: they’re all reptilian, they must get me • They blast me with fire. Stupid reptiles, I’m a fire-breathing dragon • It should be very obvious just looking at

me. I’m red • Oh right, I forgot I painted myself green • I burn them to a crisp anyways • Haha those morons, they must’ve been expecting me to have poison breath instead • Haha • Ha • I’m so lonely • Oh cool, another adventuring party • A lot of them are tieflings. The one human clearly has fire-resistant armor • Please I just wanna talk • They fight me anyways. Ohhhh my god fine • I breathe fire • They survive • I smash them with my big dragon fist • They die • Is this really all that there is? Just killing and eating people? • I emerge from my cave and take a look at the nearby town • Immediately they start firing their bows at me • I sigh and pick a spire off of the church • I eat roasted people off of a church-spire skewer

• This is kinda sad. I don’t wanna kill people • Maybe I need a new lair. One without many people nearby • Stupid tempting people. I’ll just eat owlbears or something • I fly across fields • I fly across deserts • Ooh look a cactus I love cacti haha • I fly across tundras • So much flying. Good thing I’ve got big wings • I find a nice place in a grassy field in the middle of nowhere. Ahh, peace and quiet • I burn a forest for dinner • Pick the branches out of my teeth • Dig out a cave and hibernate • • • I wake up • Huh, looks like it’s spring • See people building a town nearby • • Oh no.