SGN June 21, 2013 - Section 3 - Wedding

Seattle Gay News

Issue 25, Volume 41, June 21, 2013

pride Wedding special

Samantha Lynn and Lawranne Yadao are partners in every way co ur te sy la wr an ne

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by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor

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working retail. “I was the new girl who had transferred from California, and Sami had worked there for a few months,” explains Lawranne. On my first day, she strutted up to me and asked, ‘You’re that chick from Cali, right?’ After I answered, she smiled and replied, ‘Cool,’ and strutted away. She didn’t even introduce herself to me!”

“Okay, I totally introduced myself – that’s where we differ on the retelling of the story,” Samantha says. “That, and she totally checked me out as I was walking away.”

“I never denied that,” said Lawranne, smiling.

Samantha says the two went on “pretty normal dates.” There is one date, however, that stands out: the night that the two decided they were right for each other.

“I took her to putt-putt golf, went to the local market to get fresh food, and we cooked dinner together,” she said. “Really, quite a remarkable night and I could tell that I was very smitten with her. And at the end of each date, I’d ask, ‘When can I see you again?’”

Spend five minutes with these two and you’ll see it – they truly are a team. “We call going on a date ‘dinosaur hunting’

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after an unfortunate picture Samantha found of me in preschool, dressed in a dinosaur costume,” says Lawranne.

‘GAY MEANS LOVE’ This will be the third year that their nephews will join them for the Pride Parade.

“Michael is five and he says that ‘Gay’ means ‘love.’ Anthony is two and a half and likes waving the Pride flag,” Lawranne said.

As for the wedding, Samantha and Lawranne told SGN, “We haven’t set a date yet, but the wedding will be in Seattle.”

“We would love to have a June wedding just to make Pride month even more exciting,” admitted Stephanie. “We want to find an urban venue with exposed brick/ wood work to really represent how much we love living in Capitol Hill.”

Samantha Lynn will perform some original songs at PrideFest on the Acoustic Stage (located by the skate park next to 2nd and Thomas) from 1 to 1:35 p.m.

“We would like to thank our community for being so supportive! It means the world to us to be able to share our love with you all!”

all photos courtesy Dana Pleasant Photography

community all in one place, celebrating our pride, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.”

“And who wouldn’t want Mama Tits Less than one year ago, we Washington voters found ourselves embattled over the as part of their engagement story?” asks freedom to marry. Currently, things are Lawranne, 29. different. Gays and Lesbians all over the FRIENDS FIRST state are bending their knees and asking The two women tell SGN that they’ve for their beloved one’s legal hand in marbeen best friends for the past three years, riage. It’s a beautiful thing.

One of those couples is Samantha Lynn and a couple for the past two years.

“Sami [Samantha] is the only partner and Lawranne Yadao. On June 9, Samantha knelt down and, in front of Pride Idol I’ve ever had who’s treated me like an participants and spectators, asked for equal,” said Lawranne. “It’s different for me to be in a relationship where I don’t Lawranne’s hand in marriage. hold anything back and still get met with Lawranne said yes.

Samantha, 23, says she competed in complete support, love, and understandPride Idol last year, and was “inspired ing.”

“She really is my best friend in every by the sense of community leading up to way,” says Samantha. “I am constantly Pride Month.”

“We have been talking about spend- inspired to work harder than ever and to ing our lives together for the past couple strive to be a better person every day.”

According to Samantha, “we have of years, and after Pride Idol 2012, I did think it would be fun to share that special known we’ve wanted to share our lives moment with our community when that together for a long time, but being able to time came,” Samantha told SGN. “After call her my wife, and have the state recRef 74 passed, I knew this was the year I ognize that, is really a dream come true.” would ask Lawranne to marry me. I had WORKPLACE ROMANCE already decided to compete for Pride Idol Lawranne told SGN the two met while again, and with our friends, family, and

g to Lawrann

Peter Shalit and Bob Clark Meet one of the first Washington same-sex couples to marry

by James Whitely SGN Staff Writer Peter Shalit and Bob Clark were one of the first same-sex couples to wed in Washington state on the very first day same-sex weddings were possible – on December 9, 2012, at about 9:30 a.m. The couple said “I do” at Seattle City Hall with 132 other same-sex couples during a daylong series of weddings hosted by the city of Seattle.

Peter 59, and Bob, 55, met in Chicago in 1998 at a conference on horticulture, a hobby they both share.

“Bob was living in Massachusetts at the time,” Peter told SGN. “Our relationship sort of progressed long-distance over seven years, and Bob moved here in 2005.”

“We didn’t really date because of the long distance,” said Peter. “We’d meet in various cities when one or the other was traveling.”

WORKING TOGETHER Peter has both a Ph.D. and an M.D., and has been practicing medicine – specifically, HIV treatment – since 1990, at his own office in First Hill. He is a certified HIV specialist by the American Academy of HIV Medicine. Bob was a wholesale florist when

the couple first met. Now, he works as a medical assistant in Peter’s practice. Unfortunately, however, Bob and Peter still don’t get many date nights, as the practice keeps them both very busy. “[In our downtime] we breathe, garden, and travel,” said Peter. “Our families are both back east and we have relatives who are getting older, so we go back to New England four times a year now, but it’s worth it. We’ve got great families.”

The couple arrived at the King County Recorder’s Office at 6 a.m. on December 6, to acquire their marriage license, hours after droves of same-sex couples got their documents when the office opened at 12:01 a.m. In the state of Washington, all couples, straight and same-sex, must wait three days after acquiring a marriage license to hold

their ceremony.

“There was no line,” Peter told SGN. “We had it all choreographed. It was great.”

“It was exciting to do it the first day and we kind of appreciated the civic involvement and the opportunity to get married at City Hall. It turned out to be even more incredible than I imagined,” said Peter.

“And we didn’t have to do any of the planning ourselves – the city did the planning for us.”

While many couples brought large families or groups of friends to City Hall on December 9, Peter and Bob kept their ceremony small. Witnessing their wedding was only Bob’s 25-year-old son, Russ, and an official witness. The two were married by King County Superior Court Judge Patrick Oishi.

POSITIVE REACTIONS “We wore jackets, ties and slacks … that was about the most formal clothing we had. I’m not a suit kind of guy. Actually, we took the bus to our wedding and the whole bus got involved,” Peter told SGN. “We got on the bus and were sitting in the seats that faced the center … this woman looked at us and asked, ‘Are you guys going to get married?’”

Peter told SGN that after they told her they were on their way to City Hall to wed, she told them her son was Gay and she was so happy he’d have the opportunity to one day marry as well. Then a man in a security guard’s uniform seated next to her spoke up and said, “It’s not just an opportunity but a civil right!”

After getting off the bus, the woman excitedly led them to City Hall, saying, ‘You’re going to be late!’

“A long time ago, I didn’t think [the day] would come, but the last few years I imagined it probably would,” Peter told SGN. “In a lot of ways, it doesn’t feel much different. It feels more secure – I suppose it does feel different. We’d been in a domestic partnership – that had felt different, too – but this feels even more different.”

Dr. Peter Shalit has been active in HIV care since the early and terrible days of the epidemic. Over the years, he has given treatment to hundreds of people living with HIV. At his First Hill practice, he and his certified physician assistant, George Froehle, provide a full range of HIV care services, from testing to treatment of infection at all stages. They also take part in HIV research.

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jimmy gonzalez / seattle gay news

Bob Clark(l) and Peter Shalit on their wedding day.

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Many miles to go

What the marriage equality movement must learn from Illinois

by Richard J. Rosendall Special to the SGN

When the Illinois marriage equality bill was withdrawn without a vote May 31, anti-Gay obsessives like Brian Brown of National Organization for Marriage crowed as if they had defeated the Gay Menace once and for all. This perception was reinforced

by LGBT activists’ anger at their suddenly dashed expectations. In fact, Illinois House Speaker Michael Madigan extended the deadline for the bill through August; it still may be taken up in a special session.

To treat one setback as a reversal of the pro-Gay historical trend is like treating a winter storm as disproving global climate change. It is, rather, a stern reminder that we must work hard for every gain. Part of that work is critical self-assessment.

By self-assessment I do not mean opportunistic point-scoring. Log Cabin Republicans leader Gregory Angelo took the occasion to slam Democrats, despite only two out of 47 Illinois House Republicans having pledged support for SB-10. Please. There was no outcry over Republican opponents of the bill, because no one expected any better from them.

The shortfall in House support contradicts the exaggerated claim of Gay political power made by conservatives like Chief Justice John Roberts. That claim is doubtful, as Laurel Ramseyer at Pam’s House Blend observes, “even in ‘blue’ Illinois.”

The notion that we don’t need constitutional protection is ludicrous, given our long struggle just to win marriage in one-fourth of the country.

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TIME FOR A GUT CHECK Some Gay pundits, like John Aravosis of AMERICAblog, wasted no time in leaping to a race-based analysis, fingering the Black Caucus and Black ministers for a loss that had not yet happened. Did we learn nothing from the hasty, ill-informed scapegoating after California’s Prop 8? Statistician Nate Silver refuted that stunningly counterproductive narrative in November 2008. A few thoughts come to mind: • If you talk about anti-Gay Black ministers without mentioning pro-Gay Black ministers, or prominent opponent Cardinal Francis George (who compared the Gay Pride parade to the Ku Klux Klan, though he later apologized), then you need to check your biases.

• We need to learn lessons and apply them, not start an insult match.

• So you’re angry. The question is what to do – likely a mix of changes in spending priorities, better use of allies, better use of data, better matching of message and messenger with the right audience, a new lead sponsor, and a stronger grassroots effort led by people familiar with the local terrain.

As David Badash of the New Civil Rights Movement noted, blaming the Black Caucus or Black ministers “is exactly what the National Organization for Marriage wants to happen.” Why take the bait? Badash adds, “It’s time we built bridges with other communities instead of trying to deflect blame onto them.” Besides, our communities overlap. Into which balkanized category would you place Mark Carson, the Black Gay man murdered last month in New York?

Passion motivates us, but smart answers require cool-headed analysis. We need to

June 21, 2013

be clear-eyed, disciplined and tenacious.

“Ready, fire, aim!” is no strategy.

MONEY ISN’T EVERYTHING The deadline extension is an opportunity for a course correction. Rick Garcia, policy director for the Civil Rights Agenda, said of the May 31 meltdown, “This is what happens when you allow a multibillionaire and national organizations that have no clue about Illinois politics and how Springfield works to call the shots.” That billionaire is Fred Eychaner, the major donor to Illinois Unites for Marriage. Garcia, a longtime Illinois activist, called for replacing highpriced consultants and lobbyists with “real

people standing up and speaking out.” You cannot outsource community building.

Wisdom is noticing and repeating what works. Strong interracial and interfaith coalition efforts helped produce marriageequality victories in D.C. and Maryland.

Listening, learning, and nurturing trust can create bonds that withstand the windiest of cities.

Richard J. Rosendall is a writer and activist. He can be reached at rrosendall@ starpower.net.

Copyright © 2013 by Richard J. Rosendall. All rights reserved.

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HOW DID IT HAPPEN? During the campaign to Approve Referendum 74, Yee-Shin and I were asked to participate in the ACLU of Washington’s Communities of Color campaign. We said yes. In fact, we did what a lot of people did.

We put up a yard sign, told our story (again, and again, and again), and became table captains at fundraisers for Equal Rights Washington and Washington United for

of 2012 I founded a social justice nonprofit, Social Outreach Seattle.

First at hand for SOSea – you guessed it – marriage equality. Remember that march and rally for marriage equality back in October? Yeah, that was us.

We, meaning Yee-Shin and I, worked our butts off for the people around

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My partner … errr … um … lover, boyfriend, fiancé – whatever – proposed to me, without a ring, before same-sex marriage was legal in Washington state, while we were lying in bed together. We’d been dating for over a year, but had known each other for two. He had a roommate and things got weird. She moved out and I’d just moved in.

It was a moment I’ll never forget.

“Two months ago I didn’t think I was ready to live with you,” he said. “But now that you are here that has changed. I can’t imagine you not being here.”

It’s true – two months prior I had asked

Marriage.

But we also did many things that most everyone did not do. In April of 2012 we produced and starred in a musical (and I am sooo not musical) to raise $6,000 for the campaign for marriage equality. In July

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Editor’s note: Shaun Knittel and YeeShin Huang were married May 25 at Plymouth Church in downtown Seattle.

Several months earlier, Shaun wrote this article in anticipation of the event.

him to move in with me – and four other people – living in a small, modest Capitol Hill rental. He declined.

“I know, babe, I can’t imagine not falling asleep in your arms every night,” I said, surprising myself at how vulnerable my love for him makes me sound.

“We should probably get married then,” he said.

“Yeah,” I replied. “We probably should.”

And that is the story of how Yee-Shin Huang and I agreed to marry.

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by Shaun Knittel SGN Associate Editor

Shaun, Yee

-Shin, and

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family

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us who were inspired by what we were doing. Friends and strangers alike registered to vote and then set out to register others. We grew activists out of inactivists and made voters out of nonvoters. It was a magical time. It would, in November, eventually become a historic time.

When the elusive same-sex marriage became easily obtainable, Yee-Shin and I watched as thousands of same-sex couples rushed out to get married as soon as possible. The excitement was palpable.

Love was winning. And all because “the people” voted for it. Gays were finally the popular kids at the lunch table.

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Shaun Knittel (l) and Yee-Shin Huang

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WHY WE WAITED Yee-Shin and I are madly in love. However, we didn’t get caught up in the hubbub around the date. Yes, it was fabulous and heartwarming to see all of those people who felt that they could not wait another day without wedded bliss cheer as they walked out of Seattle City Hall together – legally married. But being the practical (some would say, stubborn) men that we are, Yee-Shin and I decided that we didn’t want anything, or anyone, to tell us when we should get married. Not even the friendly voters we had asked to secure our right to do so. May 25 is our anniversary, not December 9.

May 25, 2011, is when we both knew that, on some level, we were meant to be together. We were on a whirlwind tour of Las Vegas, my hometown. He met my family (I’d never even considered having previous boyfriends meet the family), hung out with my childhood friends, and everything about “us” seemed to make

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sense. Not surprisingly, we never even had the “boyfriend” conversation or the always awkward, but oh-so-common “So, are we dating?” conversation. Instead, not unlike the marriage proposal, we both just went with it, knowing all the while that it would work. When you know, you just ... do.

I love Yee-Shin with all of my heart and soul. He is my best friend, cooks better than any chef I’ve ever met, and supports me in everything I do. He is, in my eyes, perfect in every way. His smile melts me whenever I see it. He’s a good person, too. We are sexually compatible, adventurous together, and he is the best part of my day – always.

It’s the little things, too. You know what I mean? I love it when he laughs or when he does something to show me that, despite being two of the busiest people we know, he’s thinking about me. We trust each other and we communicate clearly and always with the purpose of growing our love, not killing it.

I do, take this man as my husband.

There’s just one problem: We don’t know how to get married.

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SO HOW DOES IT WORK? Isn’t that foolish? I feel so ignorant writing that down. But I told myself that if I were going to do truth, and this article, any justice, I would have to be honest and say that I, and most Gay men I know, have no idea how to get married.

Take, for instance, the flower girl. Why is she there? What do the flowers mean? “Ring bearer” is equally as confusing. I mean, I’m no idiot, I know that he is the person who is supposed to keep the rings safe and hand them to the bride and groom (or, in our case, the groom and groom). But why is he sometimes 11 years old and other times 35? Is he the best man or … can somebody please tell me what is going on here???

Seeking answers, I turned to the Rev. Brandon Duran, a pastor at Seattle’s Plymouth United Church of Christ, for counsel.

Yee-Shin first met Duran years ago when he attended Taiwanese church on Sundays with his family as a young man. Duran was one of the first people that Yee-Shin felt comfortable to tell he was Gay. His family – my soon-to-be in-laws – knows Duran, and Yee-Shin believes that will add a sense of authenticity for them. Now, we are by no means having a “normal” ceremony. But we don’t want to mock religion either. So, as you can surmise, Rev. Duran has been –for-

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Hiring a wedding planner The whys and hows of enlisting special help for your special day

by Jenny Harding Special to the SGN CONGRATULATIONS! You are engaged and the adventure of planning your perfect day is underway.

So … where do you start? The questions from family and friends come almost immediately. Your eyes glaze over as you surf the many online lists, resources, and Pinterest boards! You suddenly realize that this whole wedding thing may be more of a project than you imagined. You turn on the TV and The Wedding Planner starring J-Lo is on. Oooohhh. A fancy wedding planner! A wedding planner? No … that’s silly. Oh, but wait! Is it really that silly?

DO I NEED A PLANNER? Hiring a wedding planner is no longer a luxury, but essential for couples planning any type of wedding celebration. While you relish the moment with each other, your friends, and your family, your wedding planner is there to handle every detail ensuring your day goes wonderfully smooth.

A coordinator can help you negotiate contracts, offer you exclusive discounts and invaluable advice, and help you build a perfect team of vendors to match your style, needs, and budget. Not only do you want a wedding planner who understands your vision and is able to make it a reality, but also one who adapts well with various personality types and can diffuse stressful circumstances that might arise.

HOW DO I HIRE ONE? Personal referrals are often invaluable.

If a friend or co-worker was recently mar-

ried, ask them who they used and what they thought about their experience. Were they happy overall? Did the coordinator offer sound advice and guidance? Did their rates match the level of service provided?

Many venues and wedding professionals have a list of preferred vendors. They want to effectively provide their best product or service so they’re going to recommend those planners who are the most flexible and professional to partner with.

Use your local wedding resource guide, wedding shows, and bridal magazines to gather your list of potential planners to interview.

Whether you found the planner through a friend, a preferred list, or a magazine, always interview them.

Most coordinators offer a complimentary consultation so you can get to know them, their style, their level of experience, and how they can help you. Your coordinator can often act as your confidant, designer, liaison, organizer, scheduler, and so much more, so make sure there is a good connection between you.

Wedding planning can be FUN! You’re only going to do this once, so choose someone who will inspire a fun experience for

you!

HOW WILL IT WORK? Having a wedding planner is a partnership. Your wedding planner is there to support you, guide you, help you bring your vision to a reality, and help orchestrate the entire day. A good wedding planner will

give you options, ideas, and valuable information based on their experiences – but will always leave the final decision to you. Most planners will require you to make all vendor agreements directly with each vendor, leaving you ultimately in control of hiring

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your wedding team and allowing you to have direct contact with your vendors at any time throughout the process. A good wedding planner will be able to understand your vision in order to communicate that to other vendors on your behalf, while never compromising the things that are most important to you.

Most planners have customizable options where you can choose the services you want help with, and do the rest on your own. At minimum, consider hiring a “day-of” coordinator. This is the perfect option for those savvy couples out there who enjoy planning, organizing, and doing their own research.

Typically, anywhere from two weeks to 90 days before your event, your day-of coordinator can come in and help finalize details and ensure the entire day is orchestrated and seamless, just as you have planned it.

HOW MUCH WILL IT COST? There are good wedding planners at every price level. Here in Seattle, we have talented day-of coordinators who offer packages as low as $350, all the way up to planners who offer a full-service boutique type of planning experience at rates ranging from $4,500 to $10,000. There is someone just RIGHT for YOU! If your time is valuable, you have a budget you need to stick with, and you need to know how to prioritize your planning, hiring a wedding planner should be the first interview you schedule!

Jenny Harding is owner/planner/event producer of New Chapter Weddings & Events.

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Clearwater Casino offers a picturesque wedding and honeymoon locale

by Albert Rodriguez SGN A&E Writer

head. The resort itself presents a fairytale landscape, especially if you exchange vows on the Event Lawn that provides couples a backdrop of water, trees, and occasional soaring birds. The peacefulness and seclusion of this locale adds a serene element that lends itself to a very special occasion. If you

The misconception about casinos is that people only go to them for gambling.

While slot machines and card tables still draw in the masses daily, casinos have steadily begun adding more amenities to attract a new generation of clientele.

From shopping outlets to premier restaurants to built-in spas, they’ve become visitor destinations all their own. The Suquamish Clearwater Casino Resort, less than an hour from downtown Seattle by ferry and shuttle, rests beautifully on the Kitsap Peninsula border enveloped by impeccable scenery. Besides a waterside hotel complete with spa and pool, the casino also operates a special-events lodge and golf course nearby. Either of these would be perfect for a wedding, rehearsal dinner, bachelor/bachelorette party, and/ or honeymoon. Here’s more information on the Clearwater Casino Resort, and for additional details go to www.clearwatercasino.com. To inquire about group sales prefer indoors, both of the resort’s banquet quarters – the 100-capacity Kitsap Room and catering, call 1-866-609-8700. and the 56-capacity Chino Room – are equipped with tables, chairs, and built-in LOCATION Those who’ve been to Clearwater Ca- audio systems for intimate receptions. Insino might pinpoint it to Bainbridge Is- house catering can prepare everything from land, yet it’s actually on the mainland, hors d’oeuvres to multi-course dinners to about 10 minutes from central Poulsbo. buffet spreads to chocolate fountains.

A similar setting, but with more privacy, You can drive there, but an effortless alternative is to catch the Bainbridge is Kiana Lodge. Up the road from the caIsland ferry ($7.70 round-trip) from the sino-resort, this six-acre property can host Seattle waterfront and then await a cour- ceremonies on its pristine lawn and posttesy shuttle at the ferry terminal that will events in two separate facilities, the actual deliver you to the front door (look for the lodge and Garden Atrium. Kiana Lodge “Clearwater Casino” white van). If it’s has a rustic, outdoorsy feel to it, yet leather your first time, let the driver know im- furniture and hardwood floors give it a slick mediately, otherwise you’ll be asked to appearance, and a wall-pegged bearskin present a “player’s card” for the free lift. rug adds a nice cabin-in-the-woods touch. It When you arrive at the casino, make a also comes with a reception room that could beeline to the elevators, where you’ll be be used as a dance floor, aside from mindirected to the resort tucked away in the gling areas and a pair of bar counters. The back. Guests opting to drive can bypass atrium has more of an open ambiance and the casino altogether and park at the re- can seat up to 600 for a formal meal. Speaking of which, the culinary team at Kiana sort for no additional charge.

Lodge are able to customize a menu to your WEDDING FACILITIES You can wipe that image of a wedding altar next to a roulette wheel out of your

liking or that of your guests, ranging from appetizer plates to signature salmon dinners to a whole roast pig (luau-style).

Lastly, Clearwater Casino has recently acquired White Horse Golf Club, a ninemile trek from the resort past the town of Suquamish and a winding tree-lined road.

Weddings during the warm months take place in the Ceremony Garden, overlooking the first hole of a lush green golf course nestled among tall pine trees. Receptions can be held in the Chief Challacum Hall, located inside the newly built clubhouse that also contains a casual restaurant and pro shop. The hall can seat 175 to 200 for a formal dinner, with a you-name-it-we’ll-makeit menu concept and everything prepared onsite. Clearwater Casino, which already has a Gay wedding on its books this summer, can provide courtesy vehicle service to Kiana Lodge and White Horse Golf Course from its resort.

ACCOMMODATIONS The resort currently boasts 85 rooms on four floors, but an expansion is in the works to double this number. Rooms are very generous in space with a modern, elegant flair and top amenities – dark-wood cabinets, queen- or king-sized beds, chaise lounges, flat-panel HDTVs with cable, microwaves, mini-fridges, coffee brewing sys-

tems, WiFi, walk-in showers, and scented bath soaps and lotions. Guests staying in waterside rooms will appreciate the remarkable views of Agate Pass from their balconies, which come with two wooden patio chairs and small tables. Continental breakfast in the “Great Room” (lobby) is complimentary with an overnight stay, and an exclusive bar for hotel guests is open on weekends. Accommodations for nonsmokers and smokers are on separate wings of the top floor; as a nonsmoker I encountered no issues. As mentioned, the resort is detached from the casino and parking is free for overnight guests.

AMENITIES/DINING The downside for hotel guests is that all the dining options, with the exception of room service, are inside the casino. This will change once the expansion is complete, but for now the choice is between Cedar Steakhouse, Longhouse Buffet, or Agate Pass Deli. A fourth setup, the Beach Rock Sport Lounge, is mainly a bar. All are passable, but none is extraordinary. Those with a vehicle will find a better selection of restaurants in downtown Poulsbo, or ask the concierge to put you on the White Horse Golf Club courtesy shuttle to eat at Cedar Ridge Grill – the fish sandwich with parmesan fries I had while looking out at the greens was fabulous, and the prices were reasonable.

The other amenities fare extremely well, such as the indoor zero-entry pool (open daily until 11 p.m., sliding doors for warm days), outdoor Jacuzzi, courtyard for socializing and inhaling the view, fitness center and Angeline Spa, the WestSound Home & Garden Readers’ Choice winner for “Best Spa.” I indulged in a 90-minute hot-stone massage and literally felt the tension melt away in the skilled hands of my therapist, a native Hawaiian with an infectious personality. Various packages are available at Clearwater Casino Resort, including the pet-friendly “Dog Gone Fun,” the sports-y “A Birdie in Hand,” and, of course, the couplesthemed “R&R (Relaxation & Romance).”

photos Clearwater Casino & Resort

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shaun/yee-shin continued from page 9

give the pun – a Godsend.

All of you wedding novices out there take note: Duran made us a cheat sheet of sorts.

It is, for all intents and purposes, perfect!

He outlined everything from the Unity Candle and Sand Ceremony to the homily, communion, and the exchanging of vows.

Oh, and about that ring bearer? The good Reverend cleared that up, saying, “Typically [he’s] a little boy who carries the ring

(or other symbol of love) during the processional. Actually, the ring bearer is not entrusted with the actual rings and instead is given fakes (a member of the wedding party is typically responsible for them).”

Duran admits, “I have no clue how this started.” He does, however, allude to the fact that it now seems to be all about how cute it is to dress up a young boy in a tux.

Shin’s sake, make this the most amazing day ever. I start going through the checklist and don’t you know it – we’ve got everything done! We did it right!

Yeah, right.

Time to call in reinforcements, otherwise known as my husband-to-be’s girlfriends.

Alicia Kikuchi and Lauren Husband have literally saved the day. Please, anyone reading this who actually goes to the wedding, it HOW SPECIAL IS ‘SPECIAL’? is these two women that you need to thank This big day is fast approaching and there and say, “It was a beautiful ceremony” to. is this pressure to make it as special as pos- They whisked Yee-Shin away to Nordstrom sible. And I really, really want to for Yee- and had wine and chocolate tastings, bought bridesmaid dresses (in a shade of blue that was closest to cerulean) and went over a much more thorough and carefully combedover checklist.

My wedding party is going to be different.

I don’t have any girlfriends coming to the wedding who mean more to me than Robert Matencio, otherwise known as the legendary and fabulous Gaysha Starr. So I decided that I will have her, as Best Queen, replace the role of best man. High-fashion day drag at my wedding? Yes, please!

I think this is going to be a special day, indeed.

SO WHY DO WE DO IT? There was a time, not so long ago, that many Gay men would have been telling me that marriage is for straight people and that Yee-Shin and I shouldn’t worry about it. Marriage isn’t our thing – it’s theirs. And there was also a time, not so long ago, when I agreed with that sentiment.

I was young. I wasn’t in love like I am now. And well … I was foolish.

People, places and things all change with time. And our time is now. Maybe you don’t care about the dresses, the flowers, or the food at weddings. Or perhaps you just don’t believe in marriage as an institution. But nobody can deny that this moment in our movement’s history is unique. For the first time since I entered my very first Gay bar in 1996, I finally feel like we are all, somehow, even.

What I mean is that each generation’s experience is different. The struggle with AIDS has changed. Styles change, slang changes, bars open and close, and people change. The elders tell us what we don’t know, and we ask questions that are insensitive or don’t care because – it turns out they were right – we don’t know.

But what I do know is that we are all, each and every one of us, witnessing the time in our history where love and compassion and fairness actually began to win. The big bad wolf is still huffing and puffing – but getting nowhere fast. Like it or not, marriage equality really has become the catapult for the modern Gay rights movement.

Still, when I say “I do” to Yee-Shin on May 25, 2013, I won’t be saying, “I do, to your benefits” or “I do, to the LGBTQ marriage equality struggle.” Instead, I will look the man I love in the eyes and say, “I do take you to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

Because for the first time since never, “lawfully wedded husband” applies to Gay men too. Our wedding will look different, the processional will no doubt be different, and many of the invited guests will be dressed differently than at a traditional heterosexual marriage. But what will not be different at our (excuse the term) Gay wedding is the law that says who can and cannot marry in Washington state. Because on that day, in this special place and time, we will finally be equal.

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www.oceanshoresweddings.com 206-403-8170 Let us make your wedding day as fun as a day at the beach.

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