Sentinella Malaga Edition Online

No. 171

www.thesentinellamalaga.com

February 2022

Let’s get it on!

Car www.fetajorentacar.com · 952 93 44 12

New Lexus

39

The best FREE little mag that fits in your bag!

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

3

CONTACT US: The Sentinella Team

TEL: (0034) 711 096 354 So What’s on the Ed’s mind this month..?

LUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRVVV! That’s what! Love is in the air here there and everywhere. You can’t ignore it, you can’t live without it so jump in head over heels and swim around in it this February because Valentine’s day is coming to gitcha!Of course we can grump and grimace over the commercial side of Valentine’s day as we do with all the other gift card days of the year, but that doesn’t mean you can get imaginative and rebel against the colossal commerce and use the tools that god gave you! Combine the grey matter with the blood pumper and boom, you’ve got a great idea!

To get your imaginative juices flowing, This months edition is hotter than ever with top tips from buying THE RIGHT flowers, or nibbles that will put spice into your Luurve life! Our female contributors have also made sure that tips for both him and her are fully observed so no excuses for forgetting Valentine’s day, not knowing what to do as a surprise or losing the art of romance. It’s just like riding a bike and we’ve got all the reminding you need, so plunder through that knicker drawer for your lucky pants girls because your other half will be splashing on the rest of the Brut for a wild romance this February. let us know how it goes! (use an AKA ;) Love from The Sentinella Malaga xxxxxxx JJ The ED!

Deadline date : 18th of each month Email :

sentinella.malaga@gmail.com Visit us at:

thesentinellamalaga.com

Deposito Legal MA-226-2007 No part of this publication, including pictures may be copied, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. The Sentinella Malaga accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, or claims made by our advertisers, or for any editorial information provided by our readers and contributers.

GET THE BEST ADVERTISING RATES EVER! Follow Us On Facebook!

The Sentinella is eternally dedicated to Colin Checkley, the founder and editor of The Sentinel Magazine. May he rest in peace.

(Born; 1960 Died; 2004.)

visit us at: thesentinellamalaga.com

4

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Strange News

CRITICAL MEDIA 360º (see cover and inside) call us for a FREE no obligation advice or scan QR code above.

0034 711 096 354

Strange News: Love is in the air.. uff!!

Stephanie Matto is an influencer, YouTuber, author, and former star of TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé. But she recently launched a new business venture after realizing demand was high for a rather unorthodox product. This November, she found lucrative part-time work bottling and selling her own farts until things went terribly wrong. For two months, she spent her days farting into glass jars with flower petals adorning the inside and shipping them to fans. Remarkably, Matto was making 50,000€ per week in December

We have a range of great packages to help you enhance your business presence online.

WHATS INSIDE THIS MONTH

Page 10 - Flower exotica Page 17 - Aphrodisac foods Page 25 - 5 Senses of love Page 36 - Wierd foods of the world Page 44 - Camel Toe is go!

Page 46 - Belfast Bucket List Page 56 - Jokes Page 58 - Puzzle Pages Page 64 - Senti-yella Classifieds FOR THE BEST RATES EVER! Call +34 711

096 354

sentinella.malaga@gmail.com www.thesentinellamalaga.com

through fart sales alone and eventually sold more than 200,000€ worth of farts worldwide through an adult website. After Stephanie Matto received a fan request on her new site for a jarred fart for 1,000€ in November, she realised there was money to be made. She began regularly satisfying these requests and even offering discounts during the holiday season. At one point, she sold 97 jars of farts over two days.

But in January 2021, Matto was hospitalised for what she thought was a heart attack but turned out to be a dangerous buildup of gas inside her body from her flatulence-inducing diet. And now, she says her fart-selling days are behind her or her behind, not quite sure.

6

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Go take a HIKE!

La Concha Málaga..

La Concha Starting from Refugio de Juanar in Sierra Blanca, this amazing hike trail takes you through olive groves and up a forested area before it opens up to incredible coastal views of Marbella at the top of the ridge. The rest of the trail mostly follows the top of the mountain with undeniably some of the best hiking views in the province.

Before you get to La Concha ridge, you’ll pass a couple of steep parts where you need to hold on to the chains that are bolted into the rock wall for safety. It’s definitely a challenge if you’re suffering from vertigo, especially the last section where you have a steep vertical drop and only enough space for your foot to step on. So this may be suited for the more experienced trekker.

But if you make it passed this section, your up for an experience.The views that greet

you at the edge of La Concha are worth all the energy and effort!

This is a 14 km return hike that takes between 6 and 8 hours depending on your fitness level and the time you spend taking in the views at the top. To reach this ´Refugio´ there is a road (MA-469) which starts at the main road from Marbella to Coín (road A-355). A road signpost indicates the deviation to the left when coming from the coastal city of Marbella. The route, which starts at the popular mountain hotel known as ‘Refugio de Juanar’, at aprox. 750 meters, easily approaches over a dusty road and then climbs very softly over the, mainly, SE slopes of the NE ridge, and then over the final North-NE ridge (which shares with the “Istán” Route). This route is known as the normal route which is not as physically demanding Difficulty level: Medium

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

7

Say it with a hunky chunck of beef!

CHOOSING THE RIGHT STEAK...

Create your perfect evening with restaurant quality meat at home for Valentine’s Day. Choosing the best steak all comes down to personal preference, so here’s our quick guide to help you decide which one suits you. As a general rule, fat means flavour so the more fat on the steak the more flavoursome the cut, but if tenderness is your thing, cuts with less fat are generally more tender with a softer texture. For an extra dimension, cooking on the bone also intensifies the flavour of the meat.

By choosing a quality steak you’ll Eat Better Meat, whatever your choice of cut. Meats sourced from grass fed, heritage breeds, reared naturally and at their own pace for exquisite taste are best. Have the meat expertly butchered and dry-aged to further enhance its natural flavour! The most

sought after steak in British butchery, the fillet is prized for its tenderness. It’s cut from the centre of the fillet, a muscle that bears no weight. This means the meat is interlaced with fine marbling, hence it’s very soft and tender, with an almost buttery texture. More delicate in flavour than other steaks, this cut works well with some melted herb butter, or a creamy mushroom sauce. Ask your local butcher to recommend the perfect cut for your Valentine’s meal!

More than design.

+ 34 671 367 262

kctdesign.com

casey@kctdesign.com

More than design.

Web design | Logos | Branding | Social media | SEO

10

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Roses are out, exotics are in..

Buying flowers for your girlfriend or wife is not as easy as you think!

Step 1: Send her favourite If she’s ever mentioned a favorite flower, buy that. You’ll get bonus points for listening to her. If you have no clue, ask a friend or relative of hers what she likes.

Step 2: Be sentinellamental If you can think of a bloom related to your relationship, like the ones on the table on your first date, send those with a card noting the connection.

Step 3: Get out of the rose rut Resist the urge to send roses, which don’t show much imagination. Surveys show that when women buy flowers for themselves, they usually select more exotic blooms.

TIP: If you want to send a fragrant flower, go for gardenias, lilies of the valley, lilacs, freesia, or sweet peas. Hardy tropical types that won’t wilt overnight include Anthuriums, birds of paradise, and ginger. Bouvardias,

Chrysanthemums, and Gerbera daisies are also long-lasting.

Step 4: Ponder the message Think about the message. Forget-me-nots stand for faithful love, gardenias say, ‘I love you in secret,’ hibiscus represent delicate beauty, and sunflowers signal devotion. Colour counts, too. Red means love, orange signals desire, pink conveys appreciation, yellow means friendship, and white represents purity.

TIP: A pretty bouquet doesn’t have to cost an arm and a leg, but beware of carnations.

Because they’re so inexpensive, they can make you look cheap!

24H GP HOME DOCTOR SERVICE EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR

Helicopteros Sanitarios, is the leading GP Home Doctor and Emergency Service on the coast.

English speaking professionals.

No age limit or medical restrictions.

Fleet of ambulances equipped with the most advanced technology.

Less than the price of a cup of tea per day.

Become a member now 

www.helicopterossanitarios.com

 info@helicopterossanitarios.com

 (+34)

952 81 67 67

 MARBELLA - FUENGIROLA - MANILVA

LET’S GET SOCIAL:

12

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

All the single ladies.. All the single ladies...

Ladies listen up! We may not all have the security of being in a loving relationship and we’re still shopping around, so here are a few tips!

How To Trigger Male Attraction. We will divide this article into two parts so that you can understand the emotional and physical issues about attracting men. Which are: How to attract men physically, how to attract men emotionally. If you want to attract a man physically, you have to maintain some classy behavior and nature. Your appearances that triggers male attraction. Your scents that attract men - Hair, long & thick hair do attracts men. Stay fit; your curves does manipulate them. Smile a ton! Your smiles and laughter turns them on. Your voice and direct eye contact wins the game. How to attract a man emotionally. If you are here to know about male emotional attraction triggers, you should know that only attracting

a guy physically does not work. As men do not become serious about relationships easily, only attracting a guy can lead him to leave you and cheat on you eventually.

You should consider guys to be attracted emotionally also; once a guy becomes serious about a girl, they do not cheat. By having a great personality, look confident, don’t be confused or influenced by shallow tinder stories, be yourself. A man will pick up on your quirky imperfections which are also attrations that you may not even know. So concentrate on the ones you do know, be friendly and most of all try not to fake it!

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

Job Recruitment: Helping Hands Carers

We’ll support your life-changing opportunity: become a live-in carer in the UK Helping Hands Home Care was founded in 1989 to provide dedicated home care and support people’s independence, and now we’re delivering person-centred care to over 6,000 families across England and Wales.

Whether you already work in the care sector or you’re ready to make a fresh start, you can accelerate your career with Helping Hands. With over 30 years of experience as a leading home care provider, it has shown us that there are many qualities that make a fantastic carer. We value empathetic, understanding, compassionate people who want to enrich the lives of our customers, and we’ll support you to do just that.

What does it mean to be a carer?

As a live-in carer, you’ll support your customer with personal care, household chores and getting out and about. But above all, you’ll provide a constant source of companionship and emotional support, whether it’s simply a chat over a cup of tea or enjoying their favourite TV show with them.

After all, it is these moments that often make the real difference.

We can offer you a work visa We’re offering exciting opportunities for people to strike the perfect work-life balance, living in Spain, and working in the UK. If you’ve got 6-12 months’ care experience and want to work in the UK, Helping Hands can now offer sponsorship under the Skilled Worker visa, meaning we can provide career opportunities to more fantastic people.

We offer an award-winning induction and comprehensive training completely free of charge in Spain. Our assessment and selection courses take place over the course of four days, with accommodation, breakfast and lunch all provided for you.

Helping Hands employees receive exclusive benefits There are many benefits of becoming a live-in carer for Helping Hands and you’ll be

employed directly by us with ongoing 24-hour support so that you can focus on the person you’re caring for. As an employee of Helping Hands, you are also entitled to statutory sick pay, paid annual leave and a pension scheme.

You can earn up to £675 a week and with free accommodation placement, you don’t need to worry about hidden costs. The main advantage of joining us here at Helping Hands is the flexibility to experience and appreciate what means the most to you here in Spain whilst also travelling to the UK for placements. We understand the importance of time with your loved ones and the things that matter, so to ensure that not only our customers’ lives are supported, once you have completed a placement, you will have a long period of leave to enjoy your time at home in Spain.

Live-in carer Alison, who is an expat living in Spain, said: “I can do the type of job I enjoy, yet still enjoy my Spanish lifestyle.”

Whether you’re a British expat or a native of Spain, we are excited to bring more people on board to help us continue delivering the best possible support to our customers in their own homes.

For more information and to apply, please visit www.helpinghands.co.uk/ jobs/international-carers Or email spanishrecruitment@helpinghands.co.uk (See main advert on Page 14)

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

Random Teaser!

15

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Aphrodisiac - The top foods to get you going bet ween the sheets!

Food and sex, you can’t live without them, But combine both in the correct way and you’ll have an explosive outcome!

Oysters: Today, science has discovered what, exactly, causes oysters aphrodisiac effect: they increase the levels of dopamine in your bloodstream. Dopamine is what’s known as one of the “happy hormones,” and that euphoric feeling you get after eating a dozen oysters is what makes oysters natural aphrodisiac. But there’s more: oysters contain zinc, which is vital for the production of healthy sperm.

Chili: This heart-pumping ingredient makes chili peppers one of the top aphrodisiacs, because it promotes the release of endorphins (the so-called “feel good” hormones) by raising your heart rate. The combination of the increased heart rate and the increased presence of endorphins in your body will raise your libido almost instantly!

Garlic: Who knew that the “stinky rose” could have sensual side effects? You can help reduce the pungent smell of garlic by marinating it in olive oil, then using the olive oil as you normally would in salads and cooking. The active ingredient in garlic is called allicin, which has the proven effect of increasing blood flow to the sexual organs.

Figs: Like oysters aphrodisiac effect, are one of many in a group of healthy aphrodisiac foods. Like oysters, figs have a place in history: Cleopatra allegedly liked to eat this fruit as well. Prized for their similar appearance to the female and male sex organs, figs are often associated with fertility for this reason.

Vanilla: The seeds are prized for their amazing taste. While its direct counterpart, chocolate, is often credited with being a prime aphrodisiac, vanilla also helps increase libido.

Research has proven that men are turned on by the smell of vanilla, and in countless polls, men rated the scent of vanilla as being the most pleasurable of all.

Pomegranate: The fruit is often seen in Greek mythology, often next to the goddess

Persephone. Persephone was viewed as the “virgin” in Greek mythology, and the inside of the pomegranate is meant to symbolize the male reproductive cells. However, recent studies have confirmed that the juice of pomegranates can help increase testosterone levels in men, making their libido and phallus rage harder than ever before!

Coconut water: It’s not just a hipster thing coconut water has strong aphrodisiac qualities. The fact is, it’s been proven that coconut water’s electrolytes are beneficial to the proper flow of your blood, and one of the biggest contributors to a healthy sex life is, of course, proper flow to your sexual organs.

Sweet potatoes: Another food that will go a long way in helping you take care of your sexual dysfunctions and boost your sexy times are sweet potatoes. Because they’re rich in potassium, they’re recommended for people who have extensive pressure problems, as potassium is shown to get everything flowing properly.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

17

Rediculois Ideas that earned money!

The most rediculous business ideas that actually made money!

Jason Zook loved t-shirts. So much so that he had an idea. Why don’t I charge people to wear their t-shirts? In 2008 I Wear Your Shirt was born. Each day Jason would get a company to send him their t-shirt, each day he would wear their shirt and let the internet know about it. I Wear Your Shirt started off small but ended hugely. Over the space of just 4 years, Jason made over €1,000,000 wearing people’s t-shirts every day. What a legend. One of the best business ideas out there!

Australian entrepreneur Mathew Carpenter launched a website that charged you €9.99 to post an envelope stuffed with glitter to anyone on the planet. He called it Ship Your Enemies Glitter. The internet went mental.

In a matter of hours, the site got global media coverage and sold more than 2000 envelopes generating over €20,000. Much

more than this young bloke could handle. To top off this extraordinary tale of greatness, Matt ended up selling the site at its peak for an astounding €85,000.

Steve Gadlin really liked to draw cats. So much so he set up a website that would allow you to purchase one of his cat drawings for €9.95 a piece. He called it I Want To Draw A Cat For You. Turns out people really wanted Steve to draw them a cat. Over the space of 5 years, Steve sold more than 18,794. That’s €187,000! Oh my CAT!!!

18

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads! €€ Currencies Direct - Latest Currency News €€

GBP/EUR soars to new post-pandemic high Staying up to date with the latest currency news can help you time your transfers effectively,so find out what you should be looking out for over the month ahead…

Latest currency news: Over the last month GBP/EUR has managed to climb to €1.20 for the first time since February 2020, whilst EUR/ GBP slipped from £0.85 to £0.83.

What’s been happening? The pound shot higher over the past month, bolstered by the UK government’s reluctance to impose stricter Covid restrictions, in spite of the Omicron variant prompting a startling increase in new cases. Boris Johnson’s plans to ‘ride out’ the latest wave of infections ‘without shutting down England once again’ has bolstered hopes the UK will avoid more economic disruption. Also underpinning the pound has been the Bank of England, which surprised markets with an interest rate hike in December and is forecast to raise rates

again in February. The euro, meanwhile, has been pressured as most Eurozone countries imposed new restrictions in response to Omicron. Also pressuring EUR exchange rates has been renewed concerns over policy divergence between the European Central Bank and its peers as the ECB continues to insist the recent spike in Eurozone inflation is ‘transitory’, in spite of it climbing to a record high in December. What do you need to look out for? Looking ahead, the uptrend in the GBP/EUR exchange rate could be tested over the coming month by fresh Brexit uncertainty as well as doubts over Boris Johnson’s future as Prime Minister, amidst growing anger over the alleged breaking of lockdown rules and his party’s poor performance in polls.

At the same time, the euro could also face an uphill battle so long as the ECB maintains its current stance regarding inflation and plays down the chances of raising interest rates before2024! See our advert below!

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

19

The perfect Valetine’s meal, light and tastey!

A beautifully light and tastey Valentine’s meal that’s quick and easy to cook!

Whilst I used fresh green prawns for this recipe, it absolutely works equally well with frozen green prawns. You should be able to get these from most big supermarkets. They come with the heads off, and tails on.

400 g Uncooked Prawns - Fresh or Frozen 4 tablespoons Crushed garlic 2 tablespoons Lemon juice 2 tablespoons Butter 2 tablespoons Water 2 tablespoons Dijon Mustard 1 tablespoon soy sauce 2 tablespoons Chopped Basil 8 Cherry tomatoes - quartered 200 grams / 7 oz. Spaghetti pasta Heat a bowl of water to boiling. Add the spaghetti pasta and cook to you your liking, usually about 10 minutes is what works for

me.Remove shells and devein prawns In a bowl, place the garlic, lemon juice, melted butter, water, Dijon mustard, soy sauce, salt and pepper and mix with a whisk to combine Pat dry prawns with a paper towel to remove moisture and add to a hot wok. Toss to cook, until the start to turn orange.

Once they are just cooked, add the garlic and lemon mix. Toss to combine.

Add the chopped basil at the last minute.

Add pasta to the wok and stir in along with the cherry tomatoes and fresh shallots..

Done!

20

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Which wood would you use? Tips for your log burner...

All wood burns, but not all woods burn the same. Some burn hotter, slower, and cleaner than others.

Some smoke a lot, and some have a lot of sap or resin that clogs your chimney quickly.

Therefore, the best types of firewood for a wood stove or fireplace burn hot and relatively steadily, producing more heat and, typically, burning more completely. These woods tend to be hardwoods, such as hickory or ash, rather than softwoods, such as pine and cedar.

Hardwoods such as maple, oak, ash, birch, and most fruit trees are the best burning woods that will give you a hotter and longer burn time. These woods have the least pitch and sap and are generally cleaner to handle.

However, hardwoods are generally more expensive than softwoods and are more prone to leave clinkers, a hard and stony residue, in the leftover ash. If you’re burning

birch firewood, be aware of the thick inner brown bark called the phloem. This bark retains a lot of moisture and can prevent the wood from drying evenly. Therefore, it is best to mix birch with another type of hardwood for a cleaner burn and less smoke. Smoke leads to a buildup of creosote, which is a byproduct of wood combustion consisting mainly of tar that commonly causes chimney fires.

Call into Firewood Delivery, Antonio will advise you of the best hardwoods available at the best value prices around!

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

21

Best vaginal tightening exercises...

The best vaginal tightening exercises There are some concerns about loose vagina females have for which they search best vaginal tightening exercises and how to enjoy sex like before. First of all, signs of a loose vagina are peeing while laugh, giving birth to a child and heavy weight lifting tends to destroy the female pelvic floor muscles.Some important muscles keep the vagina, bladder and rectum supported and if they become weak your body wouldn’t be as flexible as it needs to be.The vagina opens up and loses its tightness after most women give their first childbirth. Female bodybuilders who lift heavy weights also have weakened pelvic floor muscles which is the reason for loose vagina. It is certainly an embarrassment that your partner experience a loose vagina due to which the sex seems quite dull. Here are the essentials of Vaginal Tightening Exercises..

There is a Kegel Exercise for strengthening the PC muscles which is more familiar to many women after their pregnancy. This basically involves contraction and relaxation of these muscles in a way that you are trying to stop the urine flow. Ami Balls that go half inside the vagina and remain half outside, giving your muscles involuntary contraction is another technique.PASSIVE CONTRACTION is the name of the game; the weights can be worked with active contractions or another exercise at the same time. Or glute the bridge for tightening the vagina with other extra bonuses like your bum.NOTE: seek professional advice before embarking on new specialist forms of exercises!

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

Toning Time!

This months buns of steel exercise is...

Dumbel Squats Building the bum of your dreams is easier than you think: You just need the right moves. The key to a nice and round bum is building the glutes from every angle. These seven best exercises for a round bum are all isolation focused to work the large glute muscle. More glute work means more shaping and growth.

Take 2 light weights and stand up straight

23

Maintaining your BEACH BUM over the Winter !

with your weights by your hips. Then gently raise your weights out from your body 90º while you squat to an angle so that your knees are at 90º. the weights will counter balance your squat and tone your shoulders!

NOTE: Always seek professional advice.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

24

Wierd Guinness Book of World Record Holders!

1) Longest tongue on a dog. Puggy has a tongue of 4.5 Inch long 2) Zac the macaw opened 35 cans in 1min 3 Longest kiss ever. Ekkachai and laksana tiranarat have kissed for 58 hours straight

25

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Your Senses Are In Charge Of Your Love Life!

5 Senses Of Love...

1. THE EYES ARE THE WINDOWS TO THE SOUL. A number of studies indicate that eye contact is vital to social encounters. One brainscan study found that when people held sustained eye contact, they began to blink simultaneously, and after a while, their brain activity actually synced up. These long gazes can make people feel more attracted to one another. A set of 1989 studies found that after strangers stared into each other’s eyes for two full minutes, they reported an increase in feelings of passionate love.

2. THE NOSE KNOWS BEST. Smell plays an important role in attraction, though it may not always be obvious.

Though the research isn’t entirely clear-cut, there’s evidence to suggest that people subconsciously use smell to ferret out appropriate mates.

Famously, researchers have tested volunteers’ attraction to the scents of potential partners by having them smell dirty t-shirts that have been worn by someone of the opposite sex. Several versions of this type of study have found that women tend to prefer the smell of sweat from men whose immune systems genetically differ from their own. In theory, this would be evolutionarily beneficial, because it would prevent mating between relatives and increase the chances that their children would have strong immune systems.

3. TOUCH IS HEALTHY, AND PERSUASIVE. Romantic touch isn’t the same as other tactile sensations. According to one brain-scanning study, when people think about touching a romantic partner, it activates a different part of the brain than thinking about touching an inanimate object would. The researchers found that this brain activity correlated with the degree of passionate love the partners reported on a survey.

4. YOUR VOICE CAN REVEAL YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS. A 2004 study found that your voice may carry some information about your sex life.

Researchers asked volunteers to listen to anonymous recorded voices and rate their attractiveness, then compared those ratings to survey information about the speakers.

They found that, among other things, people with attractive voices tended to have more sexual partners than people with unattractive voices. So maybe the attractiveness of your voice does indeed correlate with whether you’ve got game.

5. LOVE IS SWEET. Kissing isn’t an entirely universal human activity, but it is a popular one. While its exact purpose isn’t clear, some researchers suggest that it might be about taste-testing “gustatory cues found in skin oils and saliva compounds,” as one study puts it. You actually share a lot of information about your immune system when you swap spit.

In 2014, Dutch researchers brought 21 couples into the lab and had them make out.

They took saliva samples from everyone before and after they kissed to test how oral bacteria might play a role in attraction and love, and in between kisses, they gave one partner a probiotic yogurt drink to test how much bacteria is swapped, when people kissed, 80 million bacteria were swapped!

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

26

3 Things that men find attractive about women!

1. Perfect Sense Of Humor In about everyone’s opinion, the sense of humor is among the most common things that men find attractive in women. But, according to studies, men and women have different choices and preferences when it comes to humor. Humor is something that translates across all communication and is universally attractive. You can be sitting next to someone on a train or messaging a guy that you met on high-quality dating apps – a great sense of humor is something that will ALWAYS get a guy’s attention.

2. Confidence And Risk-Taking Behaviors.

We all have met that woman in our life. She didn’t look like a 10, but her confidence and bravery radiated such powerful attractiveness that everyone around her was adoring her! That’s how magnetizing confidence is.

This goes both ways – both men and women

like confidence and risk-taking behaviors. In fact, risky behavior, in particular, can be a huge turn-on for all genders!

3 Kindness, Honesty, And Responsibility.

A nice personality does matter after all!

Men won’t like you if you are rude and straightforward for no reason. A woman who knows how to deal with a situation smoothly is also appreciated by men. These traits are important because kindness gives men the heads up about a good relationship, honesty means they can trust you, and responsibility signals that a woman can be supportive, helping, and an equal partner in every life situation.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

f

o er w Po Dog e Th the Director Jane Campion Actors: Benedict Cumberbatch

Best picture (drama) winner at the admittedly not terribly prestigious Golden Globes, The Power of the Dog is still unquestionably worth celebrating. From masterful filmmaker Jane Campion, the psychological Western follows Phil and George Burbank, brothers who run a well-off ranch in 1925 Montana.

But when one of the brothers marries and adopts a son, a game of power dynamics ensues, with surprising winners and losers. A master class in tension and survival tactics, The Power of the Dog is a film to soak up then meditate over.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

29

Random Joke!

After 20 years of marriage, a couple were lying in bed one evening and instead of just turning on the TV as usual…The wife felt her husband begin to touch her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then slid his hand across her shoulders and neck, slowly worked it down one side, then the other, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed downward again, working down her side, passed gently over and then in between her buttocks and down her leg to her calf.

Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg.

He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over

and became silent.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, “That was wonderful. Why did you stop?”

“I found the remote control” he whispered!

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

Get lubed up the healthy way this Valentine's Day! Love Lotion Recipe, just in time for Valentines Day! Not only is this homemade lubricant recipe all natural and safe, but it’s filled with nourishing ingredients that are actually beneficial to your skin and healthy for your nether-regions. This also makes the best sensual massage lotion.

Ingredients: 1/3 cup coconut oil 1 tablespoon beeswax 5 drops Sensual Synergy Blend Essential Oil Directions: Melt the coconut oil and beeswax on your stovetop until melted using a double boiler. You can just use a pot of water and a glass measuring cup, too – just put the coconut oil and beeswax in the measuring cup and put the measuring cup in the pot of water.

ingredients that can harm your health and even your fertility. Toxic chemical lubricants can:nIncrease vaginal infections Disrupt hormone production Feed candida which increases yeast infections Kill vaginal flora Decrease fertility So what’s wrong with most lubricants?

So try out this delightful homemade recipe Have you ever checked the back of a lubricant and get slippy and hot this Valentine’s day! bottle?! Most are filled with toxic chemical NOTE: Always seek professional advice when using topical remedies.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354 Wierd Foods Of The World!

36

Above: Grilled Scorpion.. sting a bit!

Top Left: Giant fried Spiders, a tasty snack for this youg chap!

Centre Left: Boild embrionic egg, enough vitamins and minerals to keep the body going!

Bottom left: Roasted Guinea Pig, a more common dish on the meats of the world menus.

WEBSITE PACKAGES FROM

499€ EMAIL US FOR A FULL QUOTATION FOR YOUR NEW WEBSITE TO GET YOUR BUSINESS ON THE RIGHT PATH FOR 2022

info@criticalmedia360.com tel: +34 711 096 354

Please mention The Sentinella when replying to ads!

ial r to a a u e Eq uin G Equatorial Guinea is one of the African

continent’s least visited countries. It has a reputation for political instability with a history full of coups and corruption; and although vast offshore oil reserves generate huge wealth, the majority of Equatoguineans live well below the poverty line. However, for those in search of a totally different vacation experience, Equatorial Guinea offers plenty of hidden treasures. Pristine beaches and dense forests filled with endangered primates are just part of the country’s considerable charm.Location: Despite its name, Equatorial Guinea is not on the equator. Instead, it is located on the coast of Central Africa, and shares borders with Gabon.

39

Equatorial Guinea A population of 1,402,985

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

se

n

en Gl

o Cl

Birthdate: March 19, 1947 Good looking with a high forehead and prominent cheekbones, she has the classy looks to play an evil seductress or a deranged aristocrat with the same élan. She played the role of Norma Desmond in the Andrew Lloyd Webber production of Sunset Boulevard winning the prestigious Tony Award for Best Actress in a Musical. She made an easy transition to movies earning an Academy Award nomination for her role in her debut ‘The World According to Garp’. She quickly established herself as a character actress and rose to fame with her portrayal of the deranged ex-lover Alex Forrest in ‘Fatal Attraction’, a role for which she was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress. She is also a crusader for social change and campaigns to eradicate the stigma surrounding mental illnesses.

41

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Brexit Rediculousness For Expats For any UK citizens arriving now, here are some of the differences.

For tourists, including people who have second homes in the country but haven’t taken residency, you can no longer come and go as you please. You can spend up to three months out of every six here.

To be able to live in Spain now, you will need to show proof that you’re earning, either through having a contract with a Spanish company, or by proving that you have at least £2,000 (€2,223) a month coming into your account!

For a family, it will be much more. You will need to show that you have an extra £500 a month for each member of the family. For example, a family of four will need to prove they earn a yearly salary of at least £42,000.

British driving licences will also need to be changed to Spanish ones.

The last few weeks have seen a period of adjustment, and change, with people leaving Spain for good, and others replacing them before the rules for residency changed.

Removal companies have never been busier.

Every removal company across this coast is surprised by th situation but it also cuts both ways. There are still people signing up for work visas to come live and work in Spain.

But what about the difficulties for those who bought property in Spain before Brexit?

Have expats being forced to sell their homes in Spain? Leon Fernando Del Canto, founder of London-based tax set Del Canto Chambers, said “This is a serious issue for those not wanting to become tax residents in Spain and who bought their properties before Brexit” “The 90 days Schengen limitation should be waived on those cases. It is quite worrying for those who owned property in Spain before 31st December 2020, and who had not yet got a residency permit.

Their rights are being infringed by the Schengen limitations in accordance with the European Human Rights Convention (EHRC), which states that individuals have a legal right

to ‘peacefully enjoy’ the possession of their home and deprivation of possessions by states should be subject to certain fair and equitable conditions.

Mr Del Canto added: “It is worth noting that in addition to the UK being a member of the Council of Europe, the ECHR applies to any foreign citizen in Spain.

State rules preventing people from peacefully enjoying their property, independently of whether it is their main residence, are likely directly to violate that convention right. The UK Government should challenge their Spanish counterparts on the issue, as this is also the case for several other jurisdictions in the continental bloc.

Of course this has directly effected the real estate market. The number of new British home buyers dropped to a historic low, according to the most recent official data from Spain’s Land Registry, which saw them account for just 9.5 percent of all purchases.

A lot of retired British people are starting to sell up. They used to come down here in September or October and then stay until April/May for the six months of better weather. Hopefully the UK GOV are able to iron out these turbulent wrinkles with the Spanish GOV.

44

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Camel Toe Under ware.. the new hot trend!

It seems like camel toe underwear has become the latest fashion trend and not only for transgender...

For women who love to enhance their bits and aren’t as well endowed as others in the labia department, they are now buying the latest camel toe tren underware.

This new underwear piece has made many people wonder who came up with that strange idea. And while that is certainly an interesting question, the more important one is why has it become a fashion trend in the first place?

It turns out people have been buying the weird underwear because they actually want a fake camel toe… as ridiculous as it may sound.

Camel toe undies are padded with silicone in the front and are shaped like a camel toe.

Strangely enough, Japanese women seem to proudly be showing off their fake camel

toe because it has become a big trend in the country. A keen TikTok enthusiast commented that “Maybe rarely it’s us girls being naughty’n kinky, it may not deliberate but neither is it a mistake. Its just the clothing enhancing our bits, just like a guy’s package is up for show. When I put my favourite underware on I actually like that it enhances my full form and that it translates through my shorts, dress or leggings. Not so keen on the term “camel toe” though, but I know that guys spot it and are drawn to it like us girls check out their tackle!” So it’s a go for the toe!!

GETTING AROUND BELFAST “The Belfast bucket list!”

After decades of conflict and division, Northern Ireland’s capital city is experiencing a massive regeneration. Belfast is not only a great tourist destination but a wonderful place to live. There’re many places to visit so you need to know where to go, what to do and where to stay. In this travel article we will give you an insight into the real Belfast!

Belfast is a fantastic city. I know because I was born here, grew up here, and after leaving to live in southern Europe, it’s an absolute pleasure to continue visiting my home town. It is a city with friendly locals, an infectious atmosphere, an ever-expanding range of places to eat, drink, and to be entertained.

Moreover, it is a small city with everything you would expect from a big city, so you won’t have to go too far to visit anything on this list of things to see in Belfast City.

From the famous Titanic Quarter, the original home of the RMS Titanic, with the HMS Caroline, Titanic Belfast, and the Pump House to top museums, such as the Ulster Museum and the Ulster Folk and Transport Museum, there is so much to discover.

First of all - Where to stay!

Of course there are many hotel options and private homestay B&B’s available in and around the city, however we found a fantastic accommodation option to suit the needs of visitors and travelers across the board. Our choice for this visit was Central Belfast Apartments. There’s nothing better than arriving at a wonderful accommodation to start your well earned city break and on this occasion my choice in Central Belfast Apartments did not disappoint!.

I was given straight forward instructions on how to self check in via email to this warm, comfortable and very cosy rooftop en suite

room in a traditional town house building in Wellsley Avenue in Belfast. The room was nicely designed with many practical extras

which come in handy when staying for a week or two. The bathroom has a really good shower (important) ..nothing worse than a luke warm trickle. There is also a clean and modern kitchen facility on the ground floor where guests are able to cook should you wish. To top it all, I was surprised to find a welcome gift consisting of a bottle of white wine and 2 packs of traditional Irish Tayto crisps.. Nice! This particular accommodation is literally 5mins walk into town but it does have many amenities around the immediate location. Now where do we go from here...?

Depending on what your goal is and how long you can stay, Belfast has a huge amount to offer. For a weekend party trip you have an endless choice of restaurants with every type of food you can imagine. from traditional Irish or European menus to Korean, Vietnamese and “cook your own” Chinese BBQ restaurants all within a brief walking distance from each other.

After dinner it’s time for a G&T or a pint of the local Guinness. Although there are many fantastic bars dotted throughout the town, some traditionally acclaimed as the oldest and most traditional like the crown bar located in front of the Europa Hotel, serving fresh oysters with the perfect pint! Or find a plethora of bars huddled together in the Cathedral Quarter, there’s much to discover and enjoy, including the odd Irish music session or full live entertainment. Although just like everywhere, Belfast nightlife has been effected by the C19 restrictions, usually top entertainment is to be found in venues such as the Limelight or the new underground pop-up venue in the historic newspaper printing building of The Belfast Telegraph newspaper. On a regular basis you will discover many acoustic sessions or local bands playing around the historic cathedral quarter or Empire Music Hall.

If you are looking great 360° views of Belfast City and don’t have time to venture up a hill, why not check out the Dome at Victoria Square. Truly, one of the most amazing things to see in Belfast. Rising high above the city’s skyline, the Dome at Victoria Square boasts 360-degree views across the city.

You can enjoy looking out across the city at the city’s historic buildings, such as Belfast City Hall.

For the city garden lovers, botanists and museum seekers amongst you, Belfast is home tothe botanic gardens and the Ulster museum.

Located within walking distance of Queen’s University, Belfast, the Ulster Museum is one of the largest museums in Northern Ireland.

With over 8,000 square meters of display space, it is a treasure trove of historical artifacts, suitable for visitors of all ages.

Belfast’s Titanic Quarter is one of Europe’s largest urban waterfront regeneration projects. In just over a decade Titanic Quarter has gone from master plan to reality as a thriving and bustling destination. Over £600 million has already been invested and some 20,000 people Live, Work, Visit and Stay in Titanic Quarter on Belfast’s Maritime Mile daily, which is now attracting over 3.5 million visitors every year. It is home to major TV and film productions such as the infamous Game of Thrones no less so definitely worth a visit. With many other local places of interest such as Georges market, city shopping, the laganside waterfront and hearty pub lunch dining, Belfast definitely has something for everyone to discover and experience. Direct flights from Malaga through Easyjet. Go discover Belfast!

***OUR RECOMMENDATIONS*** *Central Belfast Apartments centralbelfastapartments.com info@centralbelfastapartments.com *Restaurant The Muddlers Club info@themuddlersclubbelfast.com

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

48

Golf tips from the “19th Hole!”

First: Your partner needs to be convinced that if you want to play before the big day he/she will get all the attention that he/ she has negotiated after allowing you to embark on your own fantasy trip of playing to your handicap/age!!

Secondly: Make sure that you do not renege on the deal – it’s not worth it. Endless begging and pleading will do little to enhance your chances of another game of golf within a reasonable time frame or the cuddle that you are hoping will lead tosome foraging “out of bounds”.

Partners – who needs them?

You will if you what to make a name for yourself in the Societies Mixed Pairs Stableford.

If you are couple playing at the same club it would be better to steer clear of entering any competition as a pair. Many a round has been finished on the third or fourth green with “how could you possibly miss a meter long put and manage to stick it off the green!”

Also, whatever you do make sure that she plays her ball and not with yours. Playing around with your partners balls is considered poor from and will lose you the hole!

Lady golfers remember that your mans round of golf is not just about getting out of the house cleaning or shopping. It’s his opportunity to show independence “I can play whenever I chose”, but also to try to do something maybe once every 6 months or so and put in a decent card. For him such an event can be both climatic and orgasmic, it may even be the second similar event that he has had in the last 6 months!

Male golfers remember you “agreed” that she could take up your hobby. Too late now to start to wonder why you did so, like you she is hooked.

During the winter months some greenkeppers use the opportunity to fertilise the greens and maybe some fairways. In the

absence of tee side ball cleaners. DO NOT be tempted to lick your balls and resist the temptation of asking a partner to oblige or you could be lining yourself up for a repeat of The St Valetine’s Day Massacre! The game is tough enough without trying to complete your round “wearing” a 7 iron.

Remember- it’s only a game and she is always right, especially when you were hoping for… “What, another round of golf, you played last month”!!

My hubby told me to take Iron every day and stay on the Greens!

Words of wisdom: By Squadron Leader Shackleton.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

49

i

i

h Ma

h Ma

The Basics The mahi-mahi, which is also commonly referred to as dorado and the common dolphinfish, is a medium-sized epipelagic fish of the family Coryphaenidae. It occurs in tropical, subtropical, and temperate waters around the oceans of the world including the Pacific, Atlantic, and Indian Oceans.

DescriptionThe mahi-mahi has a distinct appearance, with a long, tall, and narrow body and a blunt head and mouth. They normally grow to around 30 pounds and 1 meter in length and are also distinguishable by their spectacular coloring. On their flanks, they are mostly a golden-yellow color

with iridescent blue pectoral fins. Some individuals are spotted blue around their heads as well. They have a large, sail-like dorsal fin and a relatively large caudal or tail fin. 30 or more in adults. Mahi-mahi can be found throughout the world, particularly in tropical, subtropical, and temperate waters.

They are commonly observed in Hawaii, throughout Central America.

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Facts to be found about Vaccines

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

51

When the “Dating App” goes wrong!

People download the popular dating app for many reasons but sometimes things aren’t a bed of roses!

It was horrible. I installed the app for fun and just to f##k around with when I’m bored, ended up matching with a girl and talked to her for like 2 weeks and exchanged numbers & FB info. She was pretty, seemed really cool, and we shared a lot in common.

Eventually she said we should hang out, and I said sure. We met up at a mall and just walked around and talked for about an hour, and I left. After I left, I knew I wasn’t going to pursue her. Over text she seemed pretty cool, but in person she was just...off, idk I can’t really explain it. Anyway, within 2min of me getting back in the car, she texted me wanting to know my real opinion on her now.

Kinda weird, but whatever she seems weird so I just replied saying yeah she’s cool and whatever. Big mistake.

Over the course of the next 2 hours, I received over 80 texts, about 10 calls and a couple VMs, all of her crying and saying I need to move in with her and her Dad...

I needed to take care of her. I was blunt with her in saying no and this can’t go on anymore and to stop contacting me, but nothing changed. I had to delete my FB profile, block her number, etc. I deleted the app after that!

52

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

s n e T p o T

2, 1 , 3 , 4 g fa 6, 5, , 7 te re s t in in , t u 8 b us e le s s 10, 9, c t o id s !

THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA 10 The man with the world’s deepest voice can make sounds humans can’t hear 9 The current American flag was designed by a high school student 8 Cows don’t have upper front teeth 7 Thanks to 3D printing, NASA can basically email tools to astronauts 6 Only a quarter of the Sahara Desert is sandy 5 There were active volcanoes on the moon when dinosaurs were alive 4 Dogs sniff good smells with their left nostril 3 Avocados were named after reproductive organs 2 Human noses and ears get bigger as we age 1 No number before 1,000 contains the letter A

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

H

53

s e p o c o ro s

by Juanita Banana of Banana Moon Yoga Therapy, Studio, Travel & Retreats...

ARIES: March 21- April 20 A calm and stable month with no need to worry. February is not, however, a time for Aries to relax – you can be extraordinarily productive and able to realise your potential.

You should easily resolve any previous grievances.

TAURUS: April 21- May 21 During February, Taureans can confidently take risks and follow ideas. You will be ambitious, original, creative, perhaps a little emotional. There will be reward for all your hard work but do remember to take care of your health with fresh air, sleep, walks and meditation.

GEMINI: May 22- June 21 Nothing can stop you this month. Rely on your intuition and inner resources to accelerate the change and transformation you need on an emotional and professional level. After an anxious year, you will find the energy and desire to successfully fight for what inspires you.

CANCER: June 22- July 22 A time to concentrate on relationships – encourage dialogue, broaden your horizons, develop shared interests. Better not to commit yourself financially without first measuring the possible consequences of your initiatives.

LEO: July 23- August 23 You have a lot of goodwill and energy to spare that will encourage others to help you make changes, achieve your ambitions and free you from the conditioning of the past.

There is an opportunity to increase your earnings.

VIRGO: August 24- September 22 Put yourself forward and claim your right to happiness, its time to rekindle the flame or take a bold step towards someone you like.

Invest in a relationship that makes a

thesentinellamalaga.com

difference and which Venus will crown with success at the end of the month.

LIBRA: September 23- October 22 You have opportunity to find a more exciting job or join a team that recognises your talents. Making a fortune is not your primary concern in February, as you invest in trying to achieve peace and harmony with those around you.

SCORPIO: October 23- November 21 You are charismatic to the finger tips, impressing everyone you meet and seducing those you need to, to get what you want. You find joy in living, in discussion, and in exchange of ideas. Enjoy your February Scorpio.

SAGITTARIUS: November 22- December 21 Take advantage of favourable aspects for your personal and family development, as you fill up on happiness and strengthen bonds.

You’ll be able to free up some time as you lighten your schedule and concentrate on personal objectives.

CAPRICORN: December 22- January 20 Try not to impose your plans or wishes on others this month - if you feel pressure building, invest in a punch bag. Find you inner freedom, take time to breathe easily and deeply, walk in nature, hug a tree.

AQUARIUS: January 21- February 19 Search for a path that inspires you, not one that brings profit alone. Free yourself from a past that has plagued you and follow avenues and activities that exploit your talents and deep-heart ambitions.

PISCES: February 20- March 20 Your head and heart are full of projects you are burning to achieve, giving you strength to fight for, and get involved in, opportunities.

During February you can make your dreams

FaceBook: thesentinellamalaga

VIALIA AND FUENGIROLA

56

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

:) a h a h Jo k e s Which is faster, heat or cold?

Heat, because you can catch a cold. ************************************************** BREAKING: New Study Shows Getting Hit in the Testicles is More Painful than Childbirth After childbirth 34% of women said “Yes” they would like to have another child.

After getting hit in the testicles 100% of men said “NO” they wouldn’t do that again. ************************************************** My landlord yelled at me today because my heating bills are through the roof and that he’s going to have to come over soon to discuss a solution.

I told him my door is always open! ************************************************** Little Johnny was late for school...

His teacher asked him why he was late, but he had a very good excuse. “Well miss, I was in my way to school when I saw this terrible car accident! This hippie was driving their van with a surfboard on top. He had to slam on his brakes to avoid an accident but his surfboard went flying off the roof and got this pedestrian right up the arse!”

The teacher was horrified by the language and said “rectum Johnny, rectum!” Johnny replied “Wrecked him?? It bloody near killed him!” ************************************************** I don’t trust sailboats They’re rigged! ************************************************** The local bar was so sure that its barman was the strongest man around that they offered a standing1000€ bet.

The barman would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would

win the money.

Many people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.

One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice.

“I’d like to try the bet.” After the laughter had died down, the barman said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away.

Then he handed the wrinkled dried up remains of the rind to the little man and the crowd’s laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.

As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the 1000€, and asked the little man.

“What the hell do you do for a living? Are you a martial artist, a weight-lifter a fly weight athlete, what?”

The man replied, “I work for the Tax Office.” *************************************************** An old man sits next to a young punk on a bench in the park.

The punk has a mohawk 14 inches high with all sorts of different colors. The punk can just feel the old man staring at his hair.

After a few minutes, the staring gets too much and the punk turns to the old man and says: “What’s the matter, you old fart? Have you never done anything f##King crazy in your boring life?”

The old man replies: “Yeah, I had sex with a peacock once, and I’m just wondering if you’re my son!” *************************************************** How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights...

Two calves, an ass, a lot of hares, a camel toe and a fish nobody can find.

57

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp. They rub it, and a genie appears.

“I have three wishes, so I’ll give one to each of you,” the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

“Alright,” he says, “I’ll have a big, juicy, piece of meat.”

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he’d ever seen appears in front of him.

Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.

“I know! I’ll have a shower of meat!”

Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.

The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.

“I’ve got it!” he roars, “I want a MEATIER shower!” *************************************************** How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm?

Follow the fresh prints. *************************************************** If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ?

Hurry Canes ************************************************** A masturbation addict goes to the doctor.

Doctor suggests to him, “You’ve got to stop masturbating immediately.”

Man asks, “Why is it dangerous?”

Doctor says, “Well it would make it musch easier to examine you!” *************************************************** A prison did a study on inmate morale by building them a fully accessible library *It had its prose and cons. ***************************************************

Jo k e s h

a h a :)

It’s Mikes first day of prison.

He walks into his cell, and his cellmate is sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless.

“Listen, first thing you need to know is that this is going to happen. Your only choice is whether is happens with spit or without spit,” says the shirtless cell mate.

“Well, I don’t want this to happen at all, please don’t make me,” Mike pleads.

The shirtless man just looks at Mike and repeats himself “It can happen with spit or without spit.”

“Shit, ok well I guess with spit,” says Mike.

“Cool,” the cell mate says, and then calls out “HEY SPITTY GET IN HERE” You’re invited too! *************************************************** I tried catching fog the other day...

Mist! *************************************************** Donald trump is having tea with the queen in Buckingham palace.

When Trump brings up the topic of telling which politician is intellegent, the queen calls for boris johnson to come into the room. A minute later, Boris opens the door and walks in. The queen asks him, “Your mother has a child that isn’t your brothers or your sisters.

Who is this?”. Boris thinks for a moment and says, “That’s a simple question, your highness. It’s me!” Donald is fascinated by this. Later, when he returns to the US, he asks Mike Pence, “Your mother has a child that isn’t your brothers or your sisters. Who is this?” Mike Pence scratches his head for a good 10 minutes before he gives up. Donald Trump, furious that his vice president is too dumb to figure out this riddle, angrily states, “You idiot, it’s Boris Johnson!”

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

s e g a P Puz z le

58

THE SENTINELLA PUB QUIZ!

1. How many principal organs are there of the United Nations (UN)?

11. The Sherlock Holmes Museum is located in which city?

2. SoftBank Group conglomerate is located in which country?

12. What does VLCC mean?

3. Where is the Headquarters of the Tesco retail company?

13. McDonald’s and Burger King put what on their fries?

14. What is Ankylomyrma coronacantha?

4. What is the male baby chicken called?

15. Who sings a 2021 song, Hold On?

5. Where do you find temperature on earth similar as the surface of the Sun? 6. The Victorians began circumcision of male babies to stop what?

16. What was the highest-grossing musicals in 1981?

7. Which airport has its IATA code ABZ?

17. Which movie wins the Favourite Australian Movie category of the People’s Choice Awards (Australia) 1998?

8. California Girl is a 2002 studio album by whom?

18. Name the top Premier League goalscorer to never have been capped for his country?

9. Who rejected the role of Riddler in Batman Forever?

19. 26% of McDonald’s Ontario employees admit doing what?

10.The Lighthouse at the End of the World is a popular 1905 novel by whom?

20. For what movie did Steven Spielberg win his first Oscar for Best Director?

FIND ANSWERS ON PAGE 64- BUT DON’T CHEAT!!!!

SUDOKUS

59

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

C ro s s w

o rd !

ACROSS 1. A short pithy saying (8) 5. Locations (6) 9. Sacred (8) 10. Noshes (6) 12. Geeks (5) 13. Occur (9) 14. Terrorist (6) 16. A childhood disease (7) 19. Annul (7) 21. Sermonize (6) 23. A large, flat, thin case (9) 25. San Antonio fort (5) 26. Vampires (6) 27. Funny guy (8) 28. An armless couch (6) 29. Backside (8)

DOWN 1. Hurting (6) 2. Extremely funny (9) 3. Suite (5) 4. Temporary housing (7) 6. Scenery (9) 7. Desert plants (5) 8. On tenterhooks (8) 11. At peace (4) 15. Attaché case (9) 17. Profitable (9) 18. Counsel (8) 20. A girl’s toy (4) 21. Ask someone to marry you (7) 22. Canadian two dollar coin (6) 24. Reddish (5) 25. Ruler or chieftain (5)

What’s On in your area and things to do on the Costa Del Sol! (Changes may apply due to COVID restrictions) Every Wednesday - The Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included in the price of admission. Starts 11.30am.

Every Friday - Boot sale at Los Arcos on the road to Cartama - Coin. Come and sell your unwanted things + bric a brac.

WEEKLY STREET MARKETS Monday - Marbella, Torrox, Alora & Riviera del Sol. Tuesday - Fuengirola, Marbella, Benihavis, Algeciras & Tarifa.

Wednesday - Arroyo (flea market in paloma park) La Cala & Alhaurin de la Torre.

Thursday - Torremolinos, Alhaurin del Grande & San Pedro.

Friday - Arroyo, Tivoli & Paloma Park, Mijas Costa & Marbella.

Saturday - Puerta Banus, Mijas Costa, Coin, Istan, Estepona, Ojen Pueblo & Fuengirola Flee Market.

Sunday - Fuengirola (Mosque), Torremolinos Flea Market, La Trocha Boot Fair, Coin, Estepona, San Roque & Sotogrande, Mijas Hipodromo Boot Fair, Calypso Calahonda.

Age Concern Fuengirola y Mijas - now have three locations where you can pop in to catch up with old friends and make new ones. We meet every Thursday at the pensioners building in Los Boliches around the corner from Los Boliches station.

El Torcal - 13kms south of Antequera.

A land under the sea some 100 million years ago. Fossils are continually being unearthed.

The park has striking karst formations with rock structures with names like the sphinx, the jug, the camel and the screw.

CAC contemporary art gallery The CAC offers fantastic contemporary artists a chance to exhibit their works.

Located in Central Malaga near the Port.

Cafe and Shop.

TEATRO SALON VARIETES Check listings for regular shows!

C/ Emancípación, s/n, Fuengirola 29640 POMPIDOU CENTRE MALAGA Different sections with different art, that transfers you from place to place, age and age - Muelle Uno Málaga Port.

LUX MUNDI Lux Mundi Ecumenical Centre (Foundation Lux Mundi Centro Ecumenico), Calle Nueva No 3, Fuengirola, 29640.

Opening hours Monday to Friday 10.00 to 13.00 Tel 952 474 840 Email luxmundif@gmail.com

This Is Your Letter 4th, 5th & 11th February - New Eagle Pass, Fuengirola, Spain To Advertise in The Sentinella Malaga from only 5€ per month! Tel: 711 096 534 or email: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com

AIR CONDITIONING nAir Conditioning repairs new installations.

Coin meters to help with consumption costs.

Solar repairs. Swimming pool heating. Nerja to Sotogrande and inland. Airflow 952 443 222 airflowspain@live.com nConnect Air Conditioning Supplying the latest in heat pump technology at the best prices. Contact Sean : 639 738 624 www. connectairconditioning.com Email: connect. aircon@hotmail.com

AIR CON & DEHUMIDIFICATION

nEuropean Coolers Ltd - Keep cool and comfortable this summer. We are a British based air treatment online retailer offering only the best products and service to our customers. All our prices are inclusive of VAT and full warranty. NO hidden extras, buy from us with total confidence.

Visit us at www.europeancoolers.co.uk email europeancoolers@gmail.com Tel : 01606 44888

BEDS

nThe Bed Warehouse - New larger showroom, top quality British Beds and mattresses at unbeatable prices. Call 634 187 700 www. bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@ hotmail.com

BEERS & WINES

nLos Zarcillos Hos & Grapes - A shop with Spanish Wines and international Craft Beers.

Gift Baskets etc. Are you a bar owner? Ask for our price list ! Located opposite Fuengirola Town Hall. www.LosZarcillos.com 626 771 735.

CARE SERVICES

nCare and Home Help Services - Full Or Part Time - Elderly or Infirm, Available Inland and on the Coast, Security Checked - Excellent References Trinny - 952595411 or 657447599

CAR HIRE

nLow Cost Car Hire - Car hire at competitive prices, free delivery & collection, airport collection & return.

Weekly & monthly rates. Long term from just 50€ per week. No credit card req. Call : 622 605 000 www. countrycarhire.info

COMPUTER REPAIR

nCOSTASYS COMPUTER SALES,

SERVICES AND REPAIRS. Mobile phone topup, IPTV services, Internet access, mobile phone sales and repairs. Call Costasys Calahonda Tel: 952 939 592 email: info@costasys.com

DENTISTS

nAlhaurin Dental Care World class dental care, licensed, insured and provides high quality world class dental care for the whole family since 2001. Call: 654 996 026.

DIGGER HIRE

nWebb & Sons Plant Hire -Suppliers of river stone, sand, gravel, turf & top soil. Call : 649 526 922 / 647 880 816 based near Alhaurin el Grande.

DRAINS

nDRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS - maintenance

drain tracing, high pressure jetting, tank problems, leak detection and repairs. Many years of experience on the costa del sol. Call us on 651 111 005 or check out our website www.drainandleaksolutions.com

DRIVING SCHOOL

nEnglish Driving School - over 25 years experience. Officially recognised driving school.

Call : 651 771 879.

ELECTRICIANS

nDomoelect Domestic & Commercial - for all your electrical installation, complete rewires, bulletins, projects. All works carried out by a

63

Please mention the Sentinella when replying to ads!

A - Z Directory

qualified time served craftsman. Fully insured and all work guaranteed. Call David : 952 567 765 / 608 864 683.

ESTATE AGENTS/REAL ESTATE nAxarquia Properties S.L - Call : 952 436 781 /609 436 537 Are you Buying or Selling a property? We have customers waiting and properties to sell email: sm@axarquiaproperties.com nPlayamar Properties - Call : 952 384 046 www.playamarproperties.com Email : info@playamarproperties.com n COMING SOON - ESTATE POINT Our new one stop reaestate service is coming soon.. We provide reaestate services, legal services and building services under one roof. Opening soon in Alhaurin El Grande.

FURNITURE nItalian Leather Furniture - Best Italian leather furniture - see our new outlet website www.italianfurnitureoutlet.es Tel: 952667619

GARDENING nTree Care Spain - Tree and palmtree cleaning, tree topping, pruning, dead wooding and hedge cutting. Protection from Palm Tree Beetles - Based in Alhaurin Area.

Tel : 649 526 922 / 655 538 062

KEY CUTTING / SAFE ENGINEERS nMaster Locksmith - 24/7 Emergency Callout, Safe Engineer, Key Cutting, Car Keys, Remotes, High Security Cylinders, Rejas, Grills, Patio Windows Locks, Alarms.... Security of Spain 952 660 233 / 636 770 865.

LAUNDERETTES

nAnna’s Laundry - Service Wash, Dried & Folded, Ironing Service, Dry Cleaning Service.

Down the ramp in Plaza Ibensa Benalmadena.

Mon - Fri 9.30 - 16.30 no siesta. Tel : 952 560 914 www.annaslaundry.com

LAWYERS

nDe Cotta Law - Spanish & English Lawyers, specialising in Business Law, Debt Recovery, Company Start ups and more. Multilingual.

Mijas Costa/Calahonda. Tel : 952 931 781 mijas@decottalaw.net.

LOCKSMITHS

nEmergency/Appointment - Doors opened without destruction, Locks changed, Patio Doors & Windows Secured, 24/7 Call Paul : 657 466 803

MINI MARKET nPort Mini Market - Best wholesale prices.

Freshly baked bread, Fresh cuts of meat, Fresh fruit and veg. Call 952 479 176. Located Fuengirola Port.

MOSQUITO/FLYSCREENS

GLASS CURTAINS

nWorking on the Costa 11 years - I will beat any genuine quote. Professional service. Call Steve : 653 303 698.

HOME SERVICES

nParagliding gift vouchers. Give a dream to your loved ones or fulfil your dream. Fly with an instructor with 30 years exp. without risk, over some incredible landscapes in the mountains and the sea, landing gently in front of a beach bar. www.parapentegranada.info

nNeo Glass - Glass Curtains & Roofs. Call for quotation or visit our showroom, Calle Rio Benamargosa 7, Opposite the BP Garage on Camino de Coin, Mijas Costa Call : 951 775 214 www.neoglass.es nRich Shine Homecare - Total care for your home! Home and window cleaning, Gardens & pools. Environmentally friendly products.

For a professional & reliable service contact us : 634 436 532 Email : richshinespain@ gmail.com website : richshinehomecare.com nGeneral Cleaning - gardening and petcare services in Alhaurin / Coin area from 8€ per hour. Call Robert on 608 041 447.

PARAGLIDING

To Advertise in the Sentiyella Pages

ONLY 69€ PER YEAR!!!

E: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com Or call :

711 096 354

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

A - Z Directory

PC/LAPTOP/MOBILE REPAIRS nPC & Laptop repairs - tablets, broken screens, phones, battery replacement, charging problems, virus software, data recovery and more Tel: 952 939 592

PLANT HIRE

nWebb & Sons Plant Hire -Suppliers of river stone, sand, gravel, turf & top soil. Call : 649 526 922 / 647 880 816 based near Alhaurin el Grande.

PAPER SHOPS

nPapeleria Cristina - Large selection of cards, newspapers, magazines and stationary. Offex postal service, PO Boxes, internet & mobile top ups. Tel/Fax : 952 594 108 Email : papcristina@ hotmail.com

PRIVATE PROPERTY SALES

n Selling or buying a property? Contact: sentinella.malaga@gmail.com or Call: (0034) 711 096 354 We have the best private owner / buyer advertising packages in Andalucia.

PSYCHIC SERVICES nPsychic Services - Psychic & Spiritual Work

by Gary Williams. My readings give comfort and predict the future. My Guides come in every reading and give you details about your future.

TEL: 952 93 2600 gary@garywilliamsparanormal.com

REMOVALS

nRoy Trevor Removals The professional worldwide movers, weekly services between UK, Spain & Portugal. Call : 951 311 118 Mijas Costa. nZoom Removals Affordable and reliable moving company, offering full house moves to single item

RENT A CAR nFetajo Rent a Car - Your quality local company in the Costa del Sol - Free delivery & collection at Malaga Airport without any queue or Courtesy Minibus and we don’t charge for fuel. Bookings on : 952 939 738 or 952 934 412. www.fetajorentacar.com.

ROOFING & GUTTERING nAll Types of Roofing & Guttering Work Undertaken - in all aspects of the job. For a no obligation quote please call : 607 441 959 / 654 184 424.

SIGNS nThe Banner Company: All types of signage including Light box signs, banners, printing, logo designing and more! Call us on (0034) 711 096 354

To Advertise in the “Sentiyella” Pages for only 69€ per year!

Email : sentinella.malaga@gmail.com Or call : 711 096 354 THE SENTINELLA PUB QUIZ ANSWERS..

Six, Japan, Welwyn Garden Hertfordshire,Cockerel, Earths Inner Core Surface, Masturbation, Aberdeen, Nancy Sinatra, Robin Williams, Jules Verne, London, Very Large Crude Cruiser, Sugar, Ant, Justin Beiber, Cats, Amy, Kevin Campbell, Putting bodily fluids in the food, Schindler’s List

To advertise in The Sentinella Malaga call 711 096 354

A - Z Directory

SWIMMING POOLS -SERVICES

nPool Equipment & Services. Quality Pools & Spas. Specialists in Jacuzzi installation, swimming pool installations and current pools with covers and heaters. Tel 638 959 111

TELEVISION REPAIRS

nTelevision Repairs - Specialists in Plasma, LCD, LED TV’s, can collect. Call : John 600 706 201.

TRAVEL AGENT

nLa Cala Travel - Your local travel specialist for short and long haul holidays, worldwide flights, short stays and city breaks. Tel : 952 492 047 webpage : www.lacalatravel.com

UKTV

nGlobal UKTV - The latest and easiest way to watch British TV anywhere in the world. No satellite dish - only broadband needed. Easy to set up, no contract. www.globaluktv.com info@ globaluktv.com.

UPHOLSTERY

nTELAS The Fabric Warehouse Upholstry Services. All types of fabric and upholstry work undertaken. Tel: 656 34 29 71

WINDOWS & DOORS nARCOPLAN WINDOWS, DOORS & GLASS CURTAINS. Tilt & Turn / Bi-Folding / pation Doors. Security Doors & Windows - Tel: 952 66 75 59 Mijas Costa Malaga (beside El Corte Ingles) Fuengirola

Web Developement Services

nWeb Deveopement Services - All types of S.E.O. work, website marketing and management services. Rank highly on search engines, get more traffic and win more customers. Email: creativo.spain@gmail.com / Tel: 711 096 354

nMobile Service - ITV legal Solar reflective tint for glass curtains, balconies, yachts stop fading, heat glare, save money on cooling, make living in the sun comfortable. 958 496 571 / 644 546 176 ian@solarshadetinting.com

WEB SITES

nCritical Media 360º - Website construction, Website Hosting & Marketing. Call 711 096 354 email: info@criticalmedia360.com

WEDDING CARS

nWedding Wheels Andalucia - Tel : 650 193 777 webpage : www.absoluteaxarquia.com/ services/wedding_car.html.

WIFI TV nTelevision Repairs - Specialists in Plasma, LCD, LED TV’s, can collect.

Call : John 600 706 201.