Train Up

Train Up Your Perceivers

Perceivers are naturally perceptive, honest, sensitive, loyal, and responsible.

Help th em id en tify a n d ta lk th r ou gh th eir in ten se em otion s—listen .

Help them learn…

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About their gift and God’s love for them

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To take responsibility for the effect their words have on others (bluntness is often an issue)

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To pray before speaking—they don’t have to say everything they see

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To laugh at themselves and to see blunders as stepping stones

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To recognize the fallen world we live in, and choose forgiveness as a lifestyle Consistent discipline is crucial—learning to submit to authority and obey parents will help them learn to obey God.

Give lots of hugs and affirmations, may have to convince them it’s true (they are hard on themselves as well as others, tending to perfectionism) – point out they are sensitive, honest, loyal, and responsible Guide them into a ministry of prayer: Pray through the downsides of their gift for themselves Pray for others to get into right relationship with God If they slip into depression and adopt a “Who cares” attitude, counseling may help them work through their anger and other intense emotions.

2022, Lori G. Thomas Romans12gifts@gmail.com

Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune

Train Up Your Servers

Servers work well with their hands, want to please, pay attention to detail, and are tidy, cooperative, dependable, helpful, shy, sensitive, and express self through actions

Thank them for their actions, it is very important to them to be affirmed for helping Support them with love, positive expectations, and affirmations Need time to build trust with new people (for example, may need to have new babysitter come visit ahead of time, etc.)

Encourage verbalizations and schoolwork, but don’t compare to siblings or peers; celebrate all children’s accomplishments with a group activity instead of individual reward

May do best if you give one chore at a time, a whole list can be overwhelming

Letting them help may take you longer, but do it as often as possible!

Encourage their natural creativity with materials (playdough, art & craft supplies, wood scraps, musical instruments, etc.)

Will express love with acts of service Don’t like spotlight and embarrass easily (don’t force leadership-let him/her be the excellent support person they are) Encourage teachers to notice and show appreciation for their helpfulness

Train Up Your Teachers Teachers (or “teacher/researchers”) are gifted with unusually sharp minds, are honest, reserved, diligent, dependable, objective, realistic, articulate, readers, quick learners May appear unemotional (they are not); may need help to learn how to express both positive and negative feelings Good communicators with a great vocabulary-LOVE books and learning; Searches for the truth (Make sure they have a library card, visit museums, etc.)

They ask lots of questions – take the time to answer and/or direct them to resources—need to know “why” Help your teacher guard against pride—teach about humility and the (non-intellectual) gifts of others Once they form an opinion, won’t change unless presented with new evidence or facts – this may appear as stubbornness; their understanding is their basis for action and obedience

Encourage a sense of humor and the development of broad social relationships They truly enjoy music & the arts, but may be less imaginative than other gifts and don’t get abstract art Individualistic and independent; will cooperate if it seems reasonable, otherwise will argue Coupling idealism and practicality, they try to figure out workable solutions to problems Honor the right to ask questions without letting it lapse into argumentativeness.

Note: if parents have irrational demands (e.g., due to mental health or substance abuse problems), the normally respectful and obedient teacher child will have difficulty complying Excellent study habits, self-motivated, enjoy reading and learning—help them balance with play!

May be intolerant of those who think differently—help them see value in the variety of God’s gifts/design May rationalize and make excuses—ask pointed questions like: “Why do you not want to take responsibility for your action?”

Content with just a few (1-3) friends Affirm good grades, but don’t let them look down on siblings or peers who don’t do as well academically—help them notice other areas those persons excel in Sports are usually a low priority; don’t force them to compete, but do encourage exercise They want to know they are accepted; may get labeled as “teacher’s pet,” etc.; look for ways to make them feel accepted for who they are rather than accomplishments

2022, Lori G. Thomas Romans12gifts@gmail.com

Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune

Train Up Your Exhorters Exhorters are outgoing, cheerful, talkative, adaptable, friendly, happy, helpful, optimistic, bubbly, and fun-loving, often are natural leaders Care about people, want to encourage them and assist in solving their problems

Believe an answer to every problem exists out there somewhere; in the meantime, they enjoy life Balanced in feelings, can express a wide range Quick to forgive and restore relationships Love talking; great communicators and natural public speakers Help them with parameters for talking—if you need some quiet moments, have them write on a paper what they wanted to say to you Interrupters – they don’t even realize it Point it out right when they do it; help them practice waiting to talk Tend to dominate discussions; help them practice letting others have a turn to talk Accepting and non-judgmental, good except when it leads to compromise of standards Discuss standards often and help them watch out for this Give practical advice to their friends, natural counselors—great, except it can become too timeconsuming, and they may need help setting healthy boundaries Can be mouthy, sarcastic, etc.

Talk about responsibility for their words Mischievous, pranksters, can carry it too far Usually tidy, not savers, dislike clutter (it isn’t practical) May have a temper, try to manipulate or intimidate; important for parents to ensure respect for authority Love all kinds of people of all ages, have many friends; every person is a potential friend – no stranger danger, so parents much teach safeguards and be aware of this issue Discuss the responsibilities of popularity; don’t lay too heavy a burden, but encourage them to be a good example (they will be confused if others are jealous of their popularity—they are just being friendly) Tend to become over-involved; help them pick groups and activities wisely to manage time Transparent, will admit mistakes and try to help others avoid them

Remember to be open and transparent with them and encourage your encouragers!

2022, Lori G. Thomas Romans12gifts@gmail.com

Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune

Train Up Your Givers Givers are well-rounded, capable, industrious, thrifty, generous, responsible, honest, friendly, helpful, reserved, positive, and usually well-balanced between idealism and realism Often specially called to pray for the lost—pray with them and celebrate answered prayers Incredible ability to make and save money – they may mow lawns, sell lemonade, or get creative in their money-making; support them in this as much as you can

Can get stingy, hoarding money—quell this by presenting money as a tool to be used in God’s service May be delighted to receive money instead of a present—let them decide how to spend it or to save it Some are outgoing, some are shy; may be leaders or followers (may depend on secondary gift) usually have fairly stable emotions

Typically obedient, hard workers even as children (may not spot needs for help like servers, but eager to help when asked) Often imaginative, creative, and innovative Display a strong desire to share the gospel, interested in missions work and evangelism (even if they don’t do it themselves, they will be a strong supporter) Note: a poor self-image may dampen a giver’s natural inclination to make money, seen as laziness and procrastination; building up self-confidence will increase motivation

Get along well with everyone, but often have just a few friends; may be more comfortable with those with serving gifts (servers, compassion, givers) May feel they give more in a relationship than the receive (and may be true), but don’t let them fall into resentment—God has equipped them to give generously in all aspects of life; cultivate gratefulness Often an average student, but with both manual skills and business ability Excel in their jobs, may start their own business at an early age Volunteer to work on projects, stay with tasks to completion, take pride in accomplishments Frugal in personal spending so they have more to give; learn to comparison shop; generous—may put whole allowance in missions offering or buy nice gifts for friends— also donate time, talent, and energy to others; parents can support and guide in this

2022, Lori G. Thomas Romans12gifts@gmail.com

Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune

Train Up Your Administrators Administrators are natural leaders, confident, competitive, studious, friendly, responsible, honest, outgoing, dependable, reliable, and high achievers Encourage their leadership abilities and acknowledge their accomplishments Help them develop their wide-ranging interests and capabilities and their love for people Good at seeing the big picture and a long-range view Usually have stable emotions, factually oriented, and good communicators Have a broad circle of many friends (of all ages); peers often look up to them and follow them; they may neglect special friends while making new ones Fascinated with graphs, charts, and diagrams—will gather information and carefully organize it with these as ways of communicating ideas and concepts Visionaries – good at seeing how people can work together to accomplish plans and examining possibilities toward outcomes; be patient with this process; if they struggle with a decision, have them write down/diagram possibilities

Inclination to lead may make them appear bossy and controlling May become over-involved in groups and activities Stimulated by challenges; work better with a deadline; sometimes expect too much of themselves and don’t do well with any type of failure—challenge them to do their best but emphasize honest effort over achievement; teach them to lose gracefully Pride is a danger; help them see abilities as God-given for the purpose of serving others Set boundaries and channel their energies; let them help plan and organize things for the family Planners, they make lists and check things off Messy, procrastinators, savers, find routine house or yardwork boring; have them put sorting, tidying, or other tasks on their to-do list Will respect another leader’s authority, but not great at co-leadership unless areas of responsibility are clearly defined; will take up leadership in a group with no leader Criticism is a hazard of leadership—pray for them and be available to talk and encourage; criticism won’t deter them from goals, but it does hurt Enjoy “family field trips” exploring museums, watching performances, and learning new things 2022, Lori G. Thomas Romans12gifts@gmail.com

Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune

Train Up Your Compassion Persons Compassion people are loving, caring, obedient, creative, sensitive to other’s feelings, imaginative, peacemakers, shy, fearful, and vulnerable

Recognize their giftedness as unique and fragile-nurture potential Give lots of appropriate, affectionate touching and positive words of affirmation.

Even brief focused attention and encouragement will reassure them Let them express all that they feel (even if illogical), and help them defuse with loving discussion and prayer

Help them learn to modify their super-sensitivity and stop looking for hurtful interpretations of others’ comments Give them time to acclimate to new situations Talk with their teachers—they often need gentle encouragement to speak up in class

Very subjective – will sense hidden conflict and feel responsible for any conflict; give repeated, consistent reassurance that it is not their fault

Encourage and support artistic expression Naturally indecisive and procrastinators; help them practice making good choices by considering alternatives and consequences May lie to avoid conflict and punishment; discipline for the lying more than what was lied about; teach the value of truthfulness Will be drawn to help the downcast – but caution is needed if their own standards are not strong enough; may need to carefully guide the child to want to terminate a relationship that is unhealthy As teens, they can mistake their compassion for romantic love and may be drawn to other compassion people as they “feel” the same ways, but if both are ruled by their feelings, this can create a lot of problems and heartaches

Show interest in your child’s studies, which may increase his/hers, and help them set priorities for homework over socializing.