Perceivers are naturally perceptive, honest, sensitive, loyal, and responsible.
Help them identify and talk through their intense emotions listen.
Help them learn…
• About their gift and God’s love for them
• To take responsibility for the effect their words have on others (bluntness is often an issue)
• To pray before speaking they don’t have to say everything they see
• To laugh at themselves and to see blunders as stepping stones
• To recognize the fallen world we live in, and choose forgiveness as a lifestyle
Consistent discipline is crucial learning to submit to authority and obey parents will help them learn to obey God.
Give lots of hugs and affirmations, may have to convince them it’s true (they are hard on themselves as well as others, tending to perfectionism)
– point out they are sensitive, honest, loyal, and responsible
Guide them into a ministry of prayer:
Pray through the downsides of their gift for themselves
Pray for others to get into right relationship with God
If they slip into depression and adopt a “Who cares” attitude, counseling may help them work through their anger and other intense emotions.
2022, Lori G. Thomas
Romans12gifts@gmail.com
Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune
Train Up Your Servers
Servers work well with their hands, want to please, pay attention to detail, and are tidy, cooperative, dependable, helpful, shy, sensitive, and express self through actions
Thank them for their actions, it is very important to them to be affirmed for helping
Support them with love, positive expectations, and affirmations
Need time to build trust with new people (for example, may need to have new babysitter come visit ahead of time, etc.)
Encourage verbalizations and schoolwork, but don’t compare to siblings or peers; celebrate all children’s accomplishments with a group activity instead of individual reward
May do best if you give one chore at a time, a whole list can be overwhelming
Letting them help may take you longer, but do it as often as possible!
Encourage their natural creativity with materials (playdough, art & craft supplies, wood scraps, musical instruments, etc.)
Will express love with acts of service
Don’t like spotlight and embarrass easily (don’t force leadership-let him/her be the excellent support person they are)
Encourage teachers to notice and show appreciation for their helpfulness
Train Up Your Teachers
Teachers (or “teacher/researchers”) are gifted with unusually sharp minds, are honest, reserved, diligent, dependable, objective, realistic, articulate, readers, quick learners
May appear unemotional (they are not); may need help to learn how to express both positive and negative feelings
Good communicators with a great vocabulary-LOVE books and learning; Searches for the truth (Make sure they have a library card, visit museums, etc.)
They ask lots of questions – take the time to answer and/or direct them to resources need to know “why”
Help your teacher guard against pride teach about humility and the (non-intellectual) gifts of others
Once they form an opinion, won’t change unless presented with new evidence or facts – this may appear as stubbornness; their understanding is their basis for action and obedience
Encourage a sense of humor and the development of broad social relationships
They truly enjoy music & the arts, but may be less imaginative than other gifts and don’t get abstract art
Individualistic and independent; will cooperate if it seems reasonable, otherwise will argue
Coupling idealism and practicality, they try to figure out workable solutions to problems
Honor the right to ask questions without letting it lapse into argumentativeness.
Note: if parents have irrational demands (e.g., due to mental health or substance abuse problems), the normally respectful and obedient teacher child will have difficulty complying
Excellent study habits, self-motivated, enjoy reading and learning help them balance with play!
May be intolerant of those who think differently help them see value in the variety of God’s gifts/design
May rationalize and make excuses ask pointed questions like: “Why do you not want to take responsibility for your action?”
Content with just a few (1-3) friends
Affirm good grades, but don’t let them look down on siblings or peers who don’t do as well academically help them notice other areas those persons excel in
Sports are usually a low priority; don’t force them to compete, but do encourage exercise
They want to know they are accepted; may get labeled as “teacher’s pet,” etc.; look for ways to make them feel accepted for who they are rather than accomplishments
2022, Lori G. Thomas
Romans12gifts@gmail.com
Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune
Train Up Your Exhorters
Exhorters are outgoing, cheerful, talkative, adaptable, friendly, happy, helpful, optimistic, bubbly, and fun-loving, often are natural leaders
Care about people, want to encourage them and assist in solving their problems
Believe an answer to every problem exists out there somewhere; in the meantime, they enjoy life
Balanced in feelings, can express a wide range
Quick to forgive and restore relationships
Love talking; great communicators and natural public speakers
Help them with parameters for talking if you need some quiet moments, have them write on a paper what they wanted to say to you
Interrupters – they don’t even realize it
Point it out right when they do it; help them practice waiting to talk
Tend to dominate discussions; help them practice letting others have a turn to talk
Accepting and non-judgmental, good except when it leads to compromise of standards
Discuss standards often and help them watch out for this
Give practical advice to their friends, natural counselors great, except it can become too timeconsuming, and they may need help setting healthy boundaries
Can be mouthy, sarcastic, etc.
Talk about responsibility for their words
Mischievous, pranksters, can carry it too far
Usually tidy, not savers, dislike clutter (it isn’t practical)
May have a temper, try to manipulate or intimidate; important for parents to ensure respect for authority
Love all kinds of people of all ages, have many friends; every person is a potential friend – no stranger danger, so parents much teach safeguards and be aware of this issue
Discuss the responsibilities of popularity; don’t lay too heavy a burden, but encourage them to be a good example (they will be confused if others are jealous of their popularity they are just being friendly)
Tend to become over-involved; help them pick groups and activities wisely to manage time
Transparent, will admit mistakes and try to help others avoid them
Remember to be open and transparent with them and encourage your encouragers!
2022, Lori G. Thomas
Romans12gifts@gmail.com
Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune
Train Up Your Givers
Givers are well-rounded, capable, industrious, thrifty, generous, responsible, honest, friendly, helpful, reserved, positive, and usually well-balanced between idealism and realism
Often specially called to pray for the lost pray with them and celebrate answered prayers
Incredible ability to make and save money – they may mow lawns, sell lemonade, or get creative in their money-making; support them in this as much as you can
Can get stingy, hoarding money—quell this by presenting money as a tool to be used in God’s service
May be delighted to receive money instead of a present let them decide how to spend it or to save it
Some are outgoing, some are shy; may be leaders or followers (may depend on secondary gift) usually have fairly stable emotions
Typically obedient, hard workers even as children (may not spot needs for help like servers, but eager to help when asked)
Often imaginative, creative, and innovative
Display a strong desire to share the gospel, interested in missions work and evangelism (even if they don’t do it themselves, they will be a strong supporter)
Note: a poor self-image may dampen a giver’s natural inclination to make money, seen as laziness and procrastination; building up self-confidence will increase motivation
Get along well with everyone, but often have just a few friends; may be more comfortable with those with serving gifts (servers, compassion, givers)
May feel they give more in a relationship than the receive (and may be true), but don’t let them fall into resentment God has equipped them to give generously in all aspects of life; cultivate gratefulness
Often an average student, but with both manual skills and business ability
Excel in their jobs, may start their own business at an early age
Volunteer to work on projects, stay with tasks to completion, take pride in accomplishments
Frugal in personal spending so they have more to give; learn to comparison shop; generous may put whole allowance in missions offering or buy nice gifts for friends also donate time, talent, and energy to others; parents can support and guide in this
2022, Lori G. Thomas
Romans12gifts@gmail.com
Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune
Train Up Your Administrators
Administrators are natural leaders, confident, competitive, studious, friendly, responsible, honest, outgoing, dependable, reliable, and high achievers
Encourage their leadership abilities and acknowledge their accomplishments
Help them develop their wide-ranging interests and capabilities and their love for people
Good at seeing the big picture and a long-range view
Usually have stable emotions, factually oriented, and good communicators
Have a broad circle of many friends (of all ages); peers often look up to them and follow them; they may neglect special friends while making new ones
Fascinated with graphs, charts, and diagrams will gather information and carefully organize it with these as ways of communicating ideas and concepts
Visionaries – good at seeing how people can work together to accomplish plans and examining possibilities toward outcomes; be patient with this process; if they struggle with a decision, have them write down/diagram possibilities
Inclination to lead may make them appear bossy and controlling
May become over-involved in groups and activities
Stimulated by challenges; work better with a deadline; sometimes expect too much of themselves and don’t do well with any type of failure challenge them to do their best but emphasize honest effort over achievement; teach them to lose gracefully
Pride is a danger; help them see abilities as God-given for the purpose of serving others
Set boundaries and channel their energies; let them help plan and organize things for the family Planners, they make lists and check things off
Messy, procrastinators, savers, find routine house or yardwork boring; have them put sorting, tidying, or other tasks on their to-do list
Will respect another leader’s authority, but not great at co-leadership unless areas of responsibility are clearly defined; will take up leadership in a group with no leader
Criticism is a hazard of leadership pray for them and be available to talk and encourage; criticism won’t deter them from goals, but it does hurt
Enjoy “family field trips” exploring museums, watching performances, and learning new things
2022, Lori G. Thomas
Romans12gifts@gmail.com
Based on Discover Your Children’s Gifts by Don & Katie Fortune
Train Up Your Compassion Persons
Compassion people are loving, caring, obedient, creative, sensitive to other’s feelings, imaginative, peacemakers, shy, fearful, and vulnerable
Recognize their giftedness as unique and fragile-nurture potential
Give lots of appropriate, affectionate touching and positive words of affirmation. Even brief focused attention and encouragement will reassure them
Let them express all that they feel (even if illogical), and help them defuse with loving discussion and prayer
Help them learn to modify their super-sensitivity and stop looking for hurtful interpretations of others’ comments
Give them time to acclimate to new situations
Talk with their teachers they often need gentle encouragement to speak up in class
Very subjective – will sense hidden conflict and feel responsible for any conflict; give repeated, consistent reassurance that it is not their fault
Encourage and support artistic expression
Naturally indecisive and procrastinators; help them practice making good choices by considering alternatives and consequences
May lie to avoid conflict and punishment; discipline for the lying more than what was lied about; teach the value of truthfulness
Will be drawn to help the downcast – but caution is needed if their own standards are not strong enough; may need to carefully guide the child to wantto terminate a relationship that is unhealthy
As teens, they can mistake their compassion for romantic love and may be drawn to other compassion people as they “feel” the same ways, but if both are ruled by their feelings, this can create a lot of problems and heartaches
Show interest in your child’s studies, which may increase his/hers, and help them set priorities for homework over socializing.