6 – The Difference It Makes
Welcome
◼ Discuss at your table:
o What do you think about this statement? The ability to live this way means very little until you choose to live this way.
o What is a key insight or takeaway from last week’s session?
o When was the last time you received (or gave) a meaningful gift “just because?” Explain the situation
Video (Feel free to take notes)
◼ Being unoffendable involves constantly reminding ourselves that we don’t deserve God’s forgiveness – and yet God has chosen to forgive us anyway.
o Gratitude and anger cannot coexist. Neither can thankfulness and anger. It’s either one or the other, and we have to choose
o And we must choose wisely, for one of those will kill us, while the other will give us life.
Notes:
◼ We need to constantly remind ourselves of God’s grace because we are forgetful
o We forget how good God is and how faithful he has been to us. This is why we get worried about so much stuff…because we forget how God has come through for us in the past.
o God is fully aware of our forgetfulness. This is why in his Word he continually reminds us to remember, remember, remember his goodness and faithfulness (Deuteronomy 8:2).
Notes:
◼ Another key to being unoffendable is to quit feeding our anger.
o When something (like the news) keeps pushing us into anger, we need to stop exposing ourselves to it. We can’t allow ourselves to be manipulated and goaded into anger
o Remember the gift Jesus promised his followers: peace. Do we really want to say to Jesus, “Thank you for the gift, but I would rather hold on to my anger?”
o Remember that forgiving others isn’t dependent on an apology. More often than not, the people who wrong us are not going to apologize. We can forgive them anyway.
Notes:
◼ Followers of Jesus have a ministry of reconciliation
o Scholar D.A. Carson said the church is a natural band of enemies who stay together for Jesus’ sake. But wouldn’t it be better if were the people who stuck together and forgave each other – and then forgave other people just as easily as breathing?
o The world has a huge anger problem. Our anger and our stress and our anxiety are literally killing us. But as followers of Christ, we have the solution
o We are all like the baseball team that lost thirteen straight games and then had the limo show up at the end of the season. We have been given grace by God that we didn’t deserve. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we learned how to extend that same undeserved grace to others?
Notes:
◼ Discuss:
o In this week’s teaching, we saw that gratitude and anger cannot coexist because they are mutually exclusive. When have you experienced that reality in your life?
o We often fail to forgive people because we are waiting for an apology from them or waiting for some sign that they recognize they were wrong. When have you given or received forgiveness without an apology? What happened next?
o Anger often feels like something automatic – something that happens instinctively. In truth, we often feed that emotion by exposing ourselves to people or things that make us angry. In what ways have you been feeding your anger into your mind and heart?
o In this week’s teaching, we made the case that Christians can provide the solution for the world’s anger problem. How would you summarize that solution in your own words?
o What does it mean to be a minister of reconciliation? What would it look like if everyone in the church took on this ministry of forgiving others and extending God’s grace?
o We are coming to the end of this study. How has your approach to anger and forgiveness changed during the course of the past six sessions?
◼ The Word of God
o Proverbs 15:1 – A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
o Proverbs 22:24-25 – Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.
o Proverbs 29:8 – Mockers stir up a city, but the wise turn away anger.
o Proverbs 30:32-33 – “If you play the fool and exalt yourself, or if you plan evil, clap your hand over your mouth!
For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.”
o Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 – The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.
▪ How would you summarize the overall sentiment of these proverbs? What do they communicate about anger?
▪ Which of these proverbs feels most relevant to our culture right now? Why?
▪ It’s one thing to know the right thing to do and another to actually do it. What obstacles are holding you back from following God’s wisdom when it comes to anger and radical forgiveness?
◼ If you are reading the book:
o What is one idea or illustration that really caught your attention? Why?