Parenting with Purpose
Jody Lee Cates
Single Parent?
Find Your Tribe! No one knows better than single parents the importance of having a team of people to handle the day-to-day demands of life with kids. There’s the babysitter who helps with homework after school and serves dinner when work runs late. The neighbor or family member who agrees to pitch in when parents need to travel or a sick child must stay home. Single parents become experts at arranging and sharing rides to school and extracurricular activities. In fact, single parents are often masters at enlisting help and juggling the daily tasks of parenting solo. Call it a team. Call it a village. Call it a tribe. Whatever you call it, the benefits of belonging to a supportive community of people extend far beyond day-to-day survival. A tribe fills the gaps when a parent’s energy, expertise and resources are stretched to their limits. Children experience first-hand the values of kindness, compassion and generosity. Best of all, it’s not just you and your children who benefit. When giving and receiving become a way of life, everyone experiences the joy of belonging — single-parent families and those who come alongside to help. Make it happen. Growing a tribe
takes time and energy, two commodities
26 • SanDiegofamily.com • May 2019
in short supply for single parents, but with a little work and the right approach, you can find your people. Here are a few ideas that can help.
First things first. Let’s talk about
what “single” means when growing a tribe. Of course, it is helpful to seek out and team up with other single parents. “Me too” conversations go a long way to soften the edges on days when you need reminding that you’re not alone in your solo parenting efforts. Yes, similar circumstances create a common bond, but don’t limit your tribe to only single parents. Every family with children faces challenges, and even those with two parents get stretched thin with long hours at work, a spouse’s deployment or a child with special needs. All parents need help with carpooling, an emergency contact on a form, or a backup babysitter when life goes off the rails. Make note of other parents with similar lives and schedules at the park, in playgroups or at your child’s school. Then say hello and make a connection. Single or not, parents bond over helping each other carry the load.
Let down your guard. “Sometimes it feels easier to just hunker down on my own,” says military wife and mom Noëlle Boyer of Tierrasanta. “I’ve
