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By Kim Cardeccia | ConfidenceThroughConnection.com
What if ease wasn’t something that happened after you worked hard enough or proved yourself enough… but something you could invite in right now?
One of the most powerful mindset shifts we can make—both in life and in partnership with horses—is to train our brain to expect ease instead of bracing for struggle.
Let’s be clear: expecting ease doesn’t mean pretending everything is easy or avoiding effort. It means rewiring our default response from tension, doubt, or over-preparation… to presence, possibility, and trust.
Our brains are wired for survival, not ease. They scan for danger, prepare for what might go wrong, and latch onto effort as the only worthy path. That’s helpful when we’re truly in danger—but most of the time, it simply keeps us stuck in patterns of stress and resistance.
Here’s the good news: your brain is incredibly adaptable. With intention and consistency, you can teach it to respond differently. And when you do, you’ll notice a shift—not only in your own nervous system, but in your horse’s responses, too. Here’s how to start training your brain to expect ease:
1. Notice the tension.
Start by catching the moments when you’re bracing, pushing, or assuming it’s going to be hard. This might show up when you’re walking into the pasture with a plan, mounting up with performance pressure, or even before a conversation. Awareness is always the first step. Gently say to yourself, “I see you, tension,” without judgment.
2. Interrupt the pattern.
Once you’ve noticed it, take a breath. A deep one. Maybe even two. Remind yourself, “It doesn’t have to be hard.” This moment of pause invites in possibility. It creates space to
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August 29 - September 1, 2025: Labor Day Weekend Sleep Hollow Trail Riders Camp Over. Saturday poker run, potluck campfire Call Marsha Putnam at 989-277-8544.
September 6, 2025: Pine Lake Stables September Dressage Show. Plainwell, Michigan. Online entries available at pinelakestables com Entries deadline is August 28, 2025
October 1st-5th: 2025 All American Buckskin Horse Congress Pre Entry Prices Deadline August 25th
Newly Added- Buckskin Bred Divisions & Walk Trot Ranch Classes More information: www.michiganbuckskin.org
October 4-5, 2025: Phil Haugen Horsemanship Tour $750 00/Rider Lyons, Michigan at TNT Arena Limited to 15 riders. More information and tickets available at philhaugenhorsemanship com/events
October 17 - 19, 2025: Explore the Hollow Sleepy Hollow Trail Riders Weekend Camp Over. Extra trails Friday and Saturday Potluck on Saturday Call Marsha Putnam at 989277-8455.
September 5th: Clermont County Open Speed Show Series
Clermont County Fairgrounds, Owensville OH Barrels, Key Hole & Pole Bending Facebook: Clermont County Horse Committee
September 11th-14 : MQHA Futurity & Great Lakes Classic. MSU Pavilion, East Lansing, Michigan
AQHA/MQHA/NSBA Approved Classes. miquarterhorse.com/ th
September 20th-21st: Aberdeen Farm Dressage Show IX & X
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September 27, 2025 Fall Horseshoe Hunt Trail Ride. Silver Creek Equestrian Campground. 3900 134th Ave Hamilton MI 49419 Questions Kaitlynn Tuckey 810-614-1468 kait.tuckey@yahoo.com Facebook: The Walking Horse Association of MI
September 26th, 27th & 28th: 2025 Regional Schooling Show
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HORSE/TACK AUCTION: First Saturday of each month (except July) Tack 2pm, Horses after 6pm. Consignments welcome Northern Michigan Livestock, 1848 N Townline Rd. Gaylord, MI. Office 231.439.5679. Find us on Facebook northernmichiganlivestock com
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TACK AUCTION: 3rd Saturday of each month, 5pm start Longhorn Auction Service, 3265 S Slocum Rd , Ravenna, MI Call 231 730-0353 Facebook: Longhom Auction Service
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September 13: River Road Jumper Show-Hinckley Ohio All rounds will be judged by optimum time, encouraging safe steady correct riding Stabling is available $30 a day Including initial bedding Entries will close the Thursday before the show Schedule will be available Friday morning
September 19, October 3, and October 17 (finals only): Friday Night Buckle Series, Starts at 6:30pm. Unlimited Runs. Includes Stakes, Flags, Down & Back, Cake Walk, Mystery, Poles, and Barrels Show Info from Leanne Louive at 330-844-4041 Hosted at 4200 Overton Rd., Wooster, OH.
September 20 and October 18: Dusty Britches Farmer’s Tan Gymkhana 9AM Start Time
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650 N County Rd 25-A Troy, Ohio Enter Online Via SaddleBrook Follow Dusty Britches Equestrian on Facebook
September 25 , 26 , 27 & 28 : Tough Enough to Wear Pink Horse Show- Champions Center in Springfield, OH 45505
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September 27th-October 26 : All American Quarter Horse Congress th The world’s largest horse show, produced by Ohio Quarter Horse Association Columbus, OH quarterhorsecongress com
ATHENS LIVESTOCK SALES: Sale every Saturday at 12:30pm. Consignment welcome Athens Livestock Sales, 3738 Enlow Road, Albany, OH. Call 740.592.2322. Email: jdbrowning01@gmail com or find us on Facebook
MT. HOPE AUCTION: Horse, rack, livestock auctions monthly. Mt. Hope Auction, 8076 SR 241 Millersburg, OH Call us at 330 674 6188, email: info@mthopeauction com Find us on Facebook or mthopeauction com
LARUE HORSE SALE, LLC: Hay, straw, tack, and horse auction on the first Saturday of every month. 1059 Richwood-Larue Rd , Larue, OH Call 419 889 9150, email laruehorsesales@hotmail.com. laruehorsesales com
September 6th: 2025 Open Horse Show by Navajo Saddle Club. 84 West 900 South Kouts, Indiana More information: Jake 219-7136831; Janette 219-765-9239 or find them on facebook (Navajo Saddel Club)
September 20th-21st: Bainbridge Saddle Club Open Horse Show Greencastle, IN http://bainbridgesaddleclub.net/
HAMILTON COUNTY HORSE SALES: 1st & 3rd Saturday each month. New and used tack, hay, strawy, trailers, & horses Consignors welcome 22217 St. Road 37 N., Noblesville, IN. Call 317 946 4450 or 317 773 5590 or find us on Facebook for more information
IILLIANA LIVESTOCK, LLC: Tack, ponies, donkeys, and horse sales held at the Vermillion County Fairgrounds, 325 W Maple St Cayuga, IN Call Clay Norris 574.780.8378 or Cobie Norris 217 260 5696 Facebook “Illiana Livestock LLC“
SHIPSHEANA TRADING PLACE: Horse Auction Fridays 10:30am tack, 12:30pm horses 345 S Van Buren Shipshewana, IN. 260.768.4129, email: info@shipshewanatradingplace com, or visit shipshewanatradingplace com
TOPEKA LIVESTOCK AUCTION: Hay and livestock auction every Tuesday 601 E Lake St , Topeka, IN Call 260.593.2522 or email us at info@topekalivestock com Find us on Facebook or topekalivestock com
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South Lyon Schools Northville, Michigan
By Robert Eversole trailmeister.com
A boss instills fear. A leader inspires confidence. A boss assigns blame A leader takes responsibility A boss controls. A leader empowers.
Those words have rung true across every chapter of my life, whether I was serving in the Marine Corps, navigating high-stakes bank mergers as a commercial banker, or packing my mules along a narrow mountain trail.
In each setting, the stakes were high Mistakes have consequences And yet, the path to success never came from barking orders or tightening my grip It came from learning to lead, not to boss.
What I’ve come to understand is this: the same truths that hold up under fire or in financial chaos also hold up under a saddle And what’s true for mules is true for horses, too, maybe more than most riders realize
Fear vs. Confidence
In the Corps, leadership wasn’t about rank It was about presence.
The leaders I respected most weren’t the loudest They were the calmest under pressure They didn’t command with fear, they inspired trust by showing up with consistency, clarity, and a steady hand when things went sideways
That same principle applies with animals, maybe even more so A horse or mule driven by fear might comply for the moment, but they’ll never offer you their mind They won’t trust you And without that trust, true partnership remains out of reach.
When I’m working with a mule who’s unsure about crossing a creek or nervous about loading into the trailer, I ask myself: Am I helping them feel safe and understood, or am I just trying to get it done?
I’ll admit, I’ve spent more time telling than asking, more often than I’d like I’m not proud of those moments But like my mules, I try to learn from each one I give myself the same grace I offer them: credit for the try, and a promise to do better next time
Leadership is built one decision at a time, through consistency, fairness, and presence. That was the foundation my Marines could rely on And it’s the same foundation my mules trust today
Blame vs. Responsibility
In the corporate world, especially during tense bank mergers, the pressure to point fingers was real. When numbers didn’t add up or arrangements went sideways, blame flew fast and furious
But I learned early on: blaming others might protect your ego in the short term, but it destroys trust in the long run. It’s no different in horsemanship Blaming your mule for spooking, balking, or acting out might feel momentarily satisfying, but it robs you of the opportunity to grow More importantly, it disconnects you from your role as a leader in the relationship.
When something goes wrong, I don’t ask, “What’s wrong with them?”
I ask, “What did I miss? What haven’t I prepared them for yet?”
Leadership means looking inward before casting blame outward It means owning your impact, even when your intentions were good.
Mules are honest teachers They won’t flatter your ego But when they feel heard, understood, and supported, they’ll give you more than obedience They’ll give you their trust
And that’s when the real magic begins
Control vs. Empowerment
You can’t muscle a mule into trust. Believe me, I’ve seen folks try But brute strength won’t get you across a suspension bridge Control might win the moment, but it will never win the mule
True leaders empower. They give their partners, whether human or equine, the tools, confidence, and support they need to succeed. They know when to guide, when to step back, and when to simply give space to think
With mules, that often means slowing down. Letting them process Trusting that once they understand the ask, they’ll show up, not out of fear, but from willingness.
I’ve learned a great deal about this principle from Ty Evans I’ve been honored to attend his clinics over the years and to witness, firsthand, the power of rewarding the smallest try. Ty doesn’t push for perfection, he builds confidence through clarity, timing, and trust Watching him work reminded me that good horsemanship is really just good leadership in action
And I hope to be as good a hand as Ty one day
Leadership Isn’t a Title - It’s a Choice
Every interaction we have, on the trail, in the round pe the boardroom, or at home, is a chance to lead. Not through fear Not through force But through example
The Marine Corps taught me that leadership is earne Banking taught me that leadership requires integrity
And my mules? They remind me, every single day, tha leadership is a relationship
So the next time your mule tests your patience, pause and ask:
Am I being a boss or a leader?
Because that answer will shape more than your ride It’ll shape the trust beneath it
And that trust? It’s the most valuable thing you’ll ever earn in the saddle.
For more of my musings on mules, trail riding, and lif outdoors, visit www.TrailMeister.com.
And if you’re ready to hit the trail, pick up a copy of m bestselling book, The ABCs of Trail Riding and Horse Camping, available now on Amazon
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In this series, Western Dressage from a Judge’s Perspective, I will give you tips from my point of view as a judge that may help your scores and learn to ride with more accuracy and precision I find there are common challenges that everyone has learning the discipline, or common movements that riders have difficulty learning, which leads to horse and rider frustrations We shared Part 1 of Level 2 so now we move on to Part 2 of Level 2 which includes simple change of lead, sidepass and counter lope loops
Simple change of lead: Straightness on diagonal; clear walk steps; balance, smooth transitions In this level you must do the simple change through the walk. The more difficult transition Lope to Walk will get lots of credit if you do not have ANY jog steps to the walk If shown walk to lope transition in this lead change, and the horse stays on the straight line during the lead change, you should receive a 7 or higher. Clearly showing at least 3 steps at the walk before the new lead in the change. Not enough steps or any more 3 steps will reflect your score
A score of 6, which is satisfactory, or under 6 is given if there are some jog steps (3 quick ones) to the walk, the horse could be straighter in the transitions, wiggles and is abrupt in the transition to the lope, uses the neck too much for the lope transition, or any combinations of these errors
Sidepass: willing to respond to rider leg aid; horse’s head is straight or has slight flexion in the direction of travel; clarity and evenness of crossing front and hind legs at the walk; smooth transitions before or after sidepass
I find most riders cannot keep their horse straight in the side pass in that the shoulders/front legs move more than the hind legs I also find riders use too much rein aids for the sidepass and there are side to side steps and or backwards steps Backwards steps will reflect a poor score
Most desirable in the sidepass is for the horses to have even steps with the outside legs crossing in front of the inside legs in the direction of the sidepass The horse must be relaxed, straight and balanced in the sidepass Anything other than this is usually the rider trying to do too much with rein/hand aids and not keeping the horses straight as they move laterally
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