What happens when a person is dying
Information for families and friends
This leaflet describes some of the changes that commonly occur when people start to die. It is likely to be a challenging time but Trinity staff are here to answer any concerns or questions you may have about what is happening and why. Please don’t hesitate to ask us.
The dying process is unique to each person but there are often common changes, whatever the underlying illness. Most people die peacefully and comfortably.
Changes in breathing
When death is very close the pattern of breathing may change There may be long pauses between breaths or breathing may become more rapid for periods of time Sometimes the stomach muscles take over the work of breathing.
In the final stages of life, breathing can occasionally become noisy This is often because of a build-up of secretions in the chest or throat that cannot be cleared. Medication may reduce this and changes in position may also help Whilst this noisy breathing can be upsetting to hear it doesn’t usually distress the dying person.
Reduced need for food and drink
When people are dying they no longer have the same desire for food and drink, as their body no longer needs it and often cannot absorb it.
Our staff will support the taking of food and fluids as long as the person is able to swallow It can sometimes be hard to accept these changes. It is our instinct to provide food and drink to those we care about, but becoming less interested in food and fluids is a normal part of the dying process. We have a leaflet titled ‘Fluids at the end of life’ available if that would be helpful to you, please ask for a copy
Restlessness
Sometimes people become restless, agitated or confused as death approaches. They may, for instance, see things that aren’t there or say things that don’t make sense to us. If the doctors or nurses feel that something specific, such as pain, is causing the restlessness or if the person is distressed, they may try to alleviate it with medication. It often helps to let the person know you are there, by talking to them or holding their hand. Listening to their favourite music can help them relax
Awareness and interaction
When someone is dying , they will often become less interactive and aware of their surroundings.
People spend more time asleep, and they are often drowsy They may be less interested in things around them and may not readily respond.
It is understandably difficult to see this change in someone, but it is part of the natural process of dying.
Simply being near the person, holding their hand and speaking quietly can be a great comfort
Eventually, a person will become unconscious and may remain like this for hours or sometimes several days.
Physical appearance
Prior to death a person’s skin can become pale, moist, mottled and slightly cooler
Final moments
The person’s face and body may relax, their eyes become less clear and they may become very pale. The person’s breathing will eventually stop. Sometimes there may be a gasp a few minutes after what seemed to be the last breath.
It is a profound moment when someone dies and you may suddenly feel overwhelmed by sadness and exhaustion; you may want to be alone or be with others. The finality of the moment can take you by surprise, even when death has been expected. It can sometimes help to sit with the person for a while or carry out a particular ritual that is important to you or the person who has died.
Our support
It can be very hard to see someone you love and have cared for dying. It can be difficult to know what to do, what to say and how to cope
Our staff are always here for you so please do come and talk to us about how you are feeling and any concerns you may have