Supporting you through a bereavement

Information for families and friends

Understanding grief

When someone close to you dies it is natural to grieve and to feel their loss. Grief is painful and everyone’s experience of it is unique. Grief can affect you emotionally, physically and mentally

People who have been bereaved often talk about the unpredictable nature of grief, and how some of the reactions they experienced were unexpected. It is likely to take time to come to terms with what has happened and you may experience a range of emotions.

The experience is very personal and all the feelings you have are valid – there is no right or wrong way to grieve

Your feelings

Even if you know that someone is going to die, it can still come as a shock when it happens and nothing quite prepares you for it At first, you may feel numb, or overwhelmed by your feelings, or switch between the two! Others who are also grieving are likely to have differing feelings at different times, and this is all quite normal

It ’s likely that you may experience any number of emotions: disbelief, shock, numbness, sadness, relief, tearfulness, restlessness, anger, guilt or at times nothing at all

Some can lose interest in things that previously gave them pleasure and may experience lighter moments in between the sadness which can often feel jarring or confusing

This leaflet explains how you might feel after someone close to you has died and outlines the support Trinity can provide.

Bereavement can also affect some physically

You may find it difficult to sleep, rest and relax

It is very common to feel tense and to not have much of an appetite Again, these physical and emotional reactions are all very natural

Things that may help

There are things that you can do to help yourself at this time:

Talk with your family and close friends about how you are feeling. It may not be easy but opening up to someone can be a relief

Don’t feel you have to do everything yourself - you can ask others for help. People will genuinely want to support you, so do take up offers of help

Take time to adjust to life before you make any major decisions or changes.

Try to rest – even if you find you can’t sleep, resting will help your body to recharge.

Try to eat and drink regularly even if you don’t have much of an appetite

Finally, give yourself time - don’t feel you have to ‘get over ’ your loss quickly, but take each day at your own pace.

How Trinity can help you

When someone dies, it is often helpful to talk about how you are feeling. Some people feel able to talk to family, friends, neighbours or maybe work colleagues. Sometimes this is not enough and you might find it helpful to talk to someone in confidence outside of these groups.

At Trinity, our Bereavement team is on hand to support you through a bereavement We are there for the families and friends of people we have cared for. There’s no time limit for this support. Our Patient and Family Support team will work with interpreters to ensure that every patient and their loved ones can access the support they need, regardless of their language and/or communication needs.

Here for you with free support

You can find information about a range of support options we offer on our website: www.royaltrinityhospice.london/bereavement

Counselling

Bereavement Counselling is support from a professional and trained support worker to help you with your feelings of grief One to one sessions over a number of weeks will explore how you are feeling , give you space to talk about the person who has died and how you are coping.

All sessions take place with a member of our Bereavement team, either at Royal Trinity Hospice or via a video meeting or telephone The sessions are confidential, and you will be offered an initial assessment to gather some information.

Group support

It can be reassuring to know that other bereaved people share similar feelings of grief Small group sessions give an opportunity to explore your feelings in a supportive environment

Trinity offers various types of support programmes throughout the year, these include our weekly group Bereavement Programme and our monthly informal Walk and Talk meet-ups.

Support for children & young people

Understanding and coping with bereavement can be very difficult for children and young people which is why Trinity offers bereavement support specifically for them.

We help children to share their feelings and talk about the person who has died. This helps them develop positive coping strategies through the medium of art therapy, designed to encourage children and young people to express their emotions openly and safely

We also provide guidance to parents, carers, teachers and schools, on how to explain death and grief to children, and advice to help families support a child or young person through the experience. We offer advice to teachers and local schools.

Bereavement events

We organise events throughout the year that invite you to return to Trinity to remember, celebrate and reflect upon the lives of people who have died. Bereaved families, friends and carers are warmly invited to attend events such as Light up a Life and Time to Remember, services of reflection.

Find out more

To find out more about any of our bereavement services, please contact the Bereavement team on 0207 787 1062, 9am-5pm. Outside of these hours, please leave a message on the answer phone and a member of the team will get back to you as soon as possible Alternatively you can email the team by sending a message to: rth.referrals@nhs.net

Royal Trinity Hospice

30 Clapham Common North Side

London SW4 0RN

Call 020 7787 1000

Email enquiries@royaltrinityhospice.london

www.royaltrinityhospice.london

@trinityhospice

RoyalTrinityHospice

@royaltrinityhospice

If you would like this information in a different format, such as large print, or to be translated, please speak to the Communications team on 020 7787 1000 or email media@royaltrinityhospice.london

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For full details see our privacy policy: www.royaltrinityhospice.london/privacy

Charity no. 1013945

Date of publication

September 2023